InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting ❯ Forgiveness ( Chapter 4 )

Forgiveness

 

InuYasha stared at the shadow where Kagome had been standing. Seeing the pain in her eyes as she disappeared into the well almost made him take his words back, but he knew it was the right decision. He had gone to get her, during the night, but he had been intercepted. The words of Kagome's mother echoed in his mind.

 

`Please, InuYasha, don't take her away, tonight. I need to talk to her. I know that you protect her, but I'm her mother. I just need to talk to her, and I know she'll listen to you if you ask her to. She always listens to you.'

 

He could smell the pain coming off of the woman, and had been unable to tell her “no”. How could he when she looked and smelled so much like her daughter? Now, after Kagome had descended to her own time, he regretted it. Your own damn fault, he chided himself, crossing his arms over his chest. He sat down abruptly, a scowl over his features, prepared to wait for however long it took.

 

The sharp smell of blood disturbed him from his watch. Looking up, he found himself surrounded by Kikyou's soul collectors. Their ghostly forms glided around him, beckoning him to follow. He stood up and cautiously allowed them to lead him to the priestess.

 

“InuYasha,” she said weakly from her resting position against a tree. She was badly injured; there was a large gash in her side from which blood was flowing freely. A number of bruises also marked her ailing body. “Perhaps it is fitting that you see me in my time of death.” She coughed harshly, a trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth. “Or perhaps I sought you out,” she said, a rueful smile on her lips.

 

“Kikyou,” InuYasha said quietly, “Who did this to you?” He tore a piece of fabric from her sleeve and began to wrap up her wound, but Kikyou's hand stilled his action.

 

“Does it matter now?” she replied, her gaze growing farther away, the smile still playing on her lips. “I grew… careless. Forgive me, InuYasha.”

 

He nodded, unable to summon words. A feeling of guilt lodged itself in his chest, strangling him.

 

Kikyou heaved one last ragged breath, and closed her eyes, the final spasms of pain overtaking her body. InuYasha reached out to her, but pulled back as her body turned to dust and ash before his eyes. A wind came in, and swept what was left of her away. InuYasha watched the soul collectors disperse, quietly mourning the death of their mistress.

 

Not a trace, he thought, like she never existed. He shook his head violently. Her scent was still out there, and he would find the one with her blood on his hands.

 

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Kikyou approached the edge of the camp. She could tell that almost all of them were asleep, all except one.

 

“InuYasha,” she called softly, knowing that his sensitive ears would hear her.

 

InuYasha leaped to the ground in front of her, eyes questioning her. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

 

“I saw his destruction,” Kikyou said, “She has the jewel?”

 

InuYasha gave her a curt nod.

 

“I see,” Kikyou said, and then slowly, “She will accomplish what I was unable to.”

 

InuYasha looked into the woman's eyes and understood her other meaning.

 

“Kikyou…”

 

“Goodbye, InuYasha. It is good that this thing is completed.”

 

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InuYasha cleaned the blade of the tetsusaiga, slowly, methodically. It was stained with the blood of every member of the panther youkai clan. It had taken him five days to track them down and another four to wipe out each one of them. The rage that had kept him going, the pure adrenaline, had run out, and now he was exhausted. And yet, even with the killer and his entire family annihilated, InuYasha still felt dissatisfied. His revenge had done nothing to alleviate the guilt he harbored. Kikyou had asked for his forgiveness, but how could he earn hers?

 

Finishing his task, he stood around aimlessly. He had spent so little time with Kikyou over the past year, seeing her only a few times in passing. Kagome… Kagome took up his world. And Kikyou had avoided them. A fresh wave of guilt overtook him as he thought about the girl. She would be worried, upset, unprotected… he needed to get back to her. Something in him craved her, needed the burning light she seemed to always carry.

 

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. It would take at least two days to get back, and he was exhausted. Leaning his back against a tree, he decided it wouldn't hurt if he delayed his return by one more day.

 

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InuYasha ran through the forest, once again trying to pick up Kikyou's old scent. If he knew Kikyou, then she must have been at a village that needed her. Sometime during the night, he had decided to finish the work Kikyou had been doing when she was attacked. However, before he could complete her work, he had to actually find the village where she had been working. The panthers had moved quickly after inflicting Kikyou's mortal wounds, and now InuYasha had to backtrack in order to find his destination.

 

A day and a half later, he stepped into a devastated village. With the scent of the panthers covering the demolished huts, there was little doubt as to what happened. InuYasha scanned the town, searching for survivors. After spending so much time with Kagome, he had a basic knowledge of how to treat the few he found. When he was satisfied with their chances for survival, he started to bury the dead.

 

At least you will never reawaken, Kikyou. At least you will never be forced into life again.

 

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Kagome leaned back against the wall, throwing her head back to take in the sunlight. A shadow suddenly blocked the warmth, sending a chill down her spine. She looked up to see Shippou and Sango standing over her.

 

“How are you feeling, Kagome?” Sango asked, kneeling next to her. Kagome shrugged, unsure of how to answer. Shippou bounded into her lap.

 

“I was so worried about you, Kagome,” he said seriously, peering into her eyes. “Don't get sick like that again, okay?” Kagome smiled faintly and ran her hand through his hair. He preened at the action and said boldly, “And don't worry about any demons that come around. I can take care of them until InuYasha gets back!” Sango flinched and glanced at Kagome, who had let her eyes fall closed.

 

“Let Sango take care of the demons, Shippou,” she said, her voice slightly choked, “Don't go fighting demons until you're trained properly.”

 

“Sango says I'm too young to learn, and InuYasha says he won't teach me at all!” the kitsune whined. Shippou gave a wide smile, momentarily oblivious to the pain he was causing Kagome.

 

“Maybe you're not too young. Sango will start teaching you, won't you?” she said, turning to Sango. Sango hesitated, then nodded.

 

“I'll be the best out there, right Kagome?”

 

She nodded and hugged him to her. Sango put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

“I'm sure he wasn't…”

 

“I know.” Kagome swallowed hard.

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InuYasha stared at the black night. He had been delayed again, this time by the empty sky. With black hair and round ears, his need for Kagome increased in his human form even as it stopped his travel. Only one full day's travel away, and yet impossibly far.

 

He settled onto his futon inside one of the huts he had rebuilt. After a week of care all of the inhabitants of the village were healed enough to take care of themselves, and InuYasha had planned on leaving that day until he had realized what day it was. Grunting in frustration, he turned over in his cot.

 

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Flashing black eyes, angry flushed cheeks, feverish skin, a haunting voice, screaming, crying, wailing… the pain was too much. Unintelligible words from a figure too thin, too pale. The fever reached out and burned him, scalding his weak human flesh. And the figure continued to scream, until he found himself enveloped, unable to escape.

 

“Kagome.” His own voice woke him up. It was well past morning, and InuYasha cursed as he rose from the futon.

 

He could finally go back, finally see Kagome, but now… he was afraid. He had been gone for so many days without leaving a message for her. His dream haunted him. It couldn't be his Kagome. His Kagome was strong, innocent, beautiful, and kind. The Kagome in the dream hadn't been any of those things. It couldn't be his Kagome.

 

But it was a Kagome.

 

He walked out of the village, not bothering to tell the villagers of his departure. He walked slowly, running the image through his head over and over again. It can't be her, he said to himself, I will return, and she will be there just like she always has been. He walked a little more slowly. It can't be her.

 

Somehow a one-day trip turned into a five-day trip as InuYasha battled with his mind. He felt weak, his mind dull and his body slow. I need her, he told himself, I just can't bear facing her. Not if she is like that.

 

At last, InuYasha found his way to Kaede's hut, where he knew she was waiting. She smelled the same, he noticed with relief, though the scent seemed a little weaker. Why was I so worried? Why did I keep myself away from her for so long? He smiled, and stepped through the door, his eyes eagerly seeking the form that lay inside.

 

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AN: I have been doing a lot of editing recently, fixing stupid errors and adding a little, and I added a small scene into this. Mmorg has also been ignoring all my formatting… *cries*