InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting ❯ Refusals ( Chapter 7 )

 

Refusals

 

InuYasha sat in Goshinboku, allowing the branches to cradle him. His entire body felt like lead, and he had no desire to move.

 

I let her die.

 

Kagome was dead. He knew it, even as she had stood in front of him and spoke to him. No amount of begging and pleading from Sango could convince him to go to her time. No crying from Shippou could compel him to leave his tree. No lecture from Miroku could move him to change his mind. And nothing could convince him that his Kagome was alive.

 

“You loved her, InuYasha. I know you did- I know you do! You can fix this, I know you can.” That had come from Sango. I can't fix things, InuYasha thought, looking down at his sword, I specialize in breaking them. The vision of Kikyou dying flashed in front of his eyes.

 

“I miss her, InuYasha. Bring her back! Who is going to take care of me? I need her! I need you! I need you both together! Please! Who is going to teach me how to fight? Who is going to teach me to protect everyone?” Shippou had wailed, and the others, hoping to see InuYasha take pity on the kit, had let him for a while. When they had finally decided it was unhealthy for the kit to be there any longer, InuYasha had not even looked down from his perch. Need me, Shippou? I'm poison. I poisoned Kagome, slowly. Is that what you want?

 

“InuYasha, Kagome is not dead. She was very ill for a while, but she got better. You, yourself, saw her. Do you think a ghost would speak to you like that? Couldn't you smell her? Ghosts do not have smells. And do you not think that I would not have sent her spirit on had she died? I am a monk, InuYasha. I would not leave the dead untended to. It is you who is leaving business untended. Go to her.” Miroku, using reason. Business left undone… what have I not done, Miroku? I killed Naraku, as you would have liked to have done. I watched Kagome purify the jewel, and then I continued to live. She's gone, and there really isn't anything left to do.

 

In the end they had all given up on him, just as Kagome had. Sango came during the day bringing food, though she no longer asked him to come down. When the food was left untouched she took it away, only to come back with fresh food. InuYasha didn't utter a word.

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“What will you do, InuYasha?”

 

InuYasha broke out of his reverie to look at Kagome across the fire. “What?”

 

“What will you do, after we destroy Naraku? Do you… do you still want to become a demon?”

 

InuYasha closed his eyes and mulled the question over. Miroku looked at him thoughtfully and said, “You know, InuYasha, maybe staying a hanyou isn't so bad. If you think about it, the two most powerful youkai right now are probably you and Naraku, and neither of you are pure youkai. I think there is something to be said for hanyous.”

 

“Keh. Nobody asked you, monk.”

 

Kagome was still gazing at him. “Well?”

 

“I don't think I'd bother turning youkai. Besides, I thought you were going to purify that damn jewel.”

 

“It will be nice to stop traveling,” Sango said, “Maybe I could go home. Or… make a new home.”

 

“I don't know where I'll stay,” Kagome admitted so quietly that InuYasha was sure he was the only one who heard.

 

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Kagome took notes in her notebook without paying attention, the knowledge flowing directly from her ears to her pen without seeming to go through her brain. When the bell rang, she packed up her things and left her seat.

 

Nearing the door she paused to let an unusually dark boy pass her. “After you,” he said with a smile. She bowed her head and went through the door, keeping her eyes to the floor.

 

“Wait!” he called after her, “Hey, I've never seen you before. What's your name?”

 

“Higurashi Kagome,” she said, without lifting her eyes to meet his. She was anxious to get home, and didn't know why she was feeling so unfriendly.

 

“I'm Hiroshi,” he said, and she nodded, wondering absently why he only gave his first name. His smile widened. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Kagome. Why are you stuck in summer school?”

 

Kagome's cheeks pinked as she said softly, “I… missed a lot of school. I was… sick.”

 

Hiroshi seemed to digest that, looking at her pensively before saying, “How are you getting home? Walking? Would you like me to give you a ride?”

 

“You have a car?” she asked before she could stop herself. Hiroshi nodded.

 

“I live pretty far out,” he explained, “so how about that ride?”

 

Kagome shook her head, blushing slightly. “Thanks for the offer, but I wouldn't want to be a bother.”

 

“Don't worry about it! It would be my pleasure. Where do you live?”

 

“Higurashi shrine,” she said automatically, “But really, it isn't necessary. I can get there by myself. It's not far. It'll probably be faster if I walk, anyway.”

 

He smiled, but noticed her reluctance and said, “Well, today I will let you walk home by yourself since you seem so set on it, but don't expect to be let off so easily next time.”

 

Kagome nodded, her blush growing at the unwanted attention, and left the school. She walked slowly, watching the people around her go through their lives. I've spent too much time in the past. It all looks so unnatural.

 

She entered her unusually quiet house. A note gave her family's locations, her mom doing errands, her brother playing soccer with his friends, her grandpa with his buddies. She set her bag down and began to do her homework, as there was nothing else to do. She looked down at the tedious work, and a small sob escaped her. I actually wish that he were here to complain about my work. When he complained, I didn't have to.

 

She shook her head. That was exactly the problem. She didn't have to do anything when he was there. He did it all for her, and she enjoyed it. After a while, she sort of forgot that she should do anything herself, and InuYasha, while it may have been sub-conscious, seemed to have wanted it that way. I have to learn to live by myself, she thought fervently, I have to learn to live for myself.

 

She put her pen to her paper, forcing it to move, marveling in the fact that she actually felt her blood flowing through her veins for the first time in weeks.

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Hiroshi- Generous

 

AN: I apologize for being so slow with updates. I have the most hectic schedule recently, though I believe that in a few weeks I will have much more free time. Again, I apologize for those you who have been following this fic.

 

I do not own the rights to InuYasha.