InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fall From Grace ❯ Chapter 8

Ch. 8

Kagome stretched, slowly starting to fully awaken. She cracked one eye open, aware that she was not alone in the bed. She remembered asking Sesshomaru to lay with her after having a disturbing nightmare in which she was sure her attacker had come back for revenge, his raspy voice taunting her with words of torture and pain.

She turned on her side, moving as carefully as she could so as not to disturb Sesshomaru. She propped her arm up on the bed and rested her cheek in her palm, studying the man beside her. In sleep, he was almost breathtakingly beautiful. Smoothness replaced the hardness that he wore like a second skin. There was no trace of the cold, impassive man that most knew him as.

Tentatively, Kagome reached out a hand and touched his cheek, her fingertips gliding softly over his skin. She didn't know why she was doing this; it was as if she couldn't help herself. Before she could stop herself, she leaned towards him, her eyes fixed on his lips.

`Just one kiss,' She thought to herself. `Just to satisfy my curiosity.'

The first touch of her lips on his sent an electric shock through her entire body, every nerve ending tingling. The pleasant tingling sensations were accompanied by a wave of guilt, which was too strong for her to ignore. She was about to break the brief contact, but was halted by the feel of hands sliding up her sides to rest on the small of her back, where they gently, but insistently held her down.

Her eyes widened as she stared into Sesshomaru's captivating gaze. He wasn't fully awake, but Kagome saw the desire smoldering in his golden depths. He moved his lips softly against hers, his tongue darting out to outline the contours of her mouth. Kagome held back the moan that threatened to break free. How could one touch be so intoxicating? She was suddenly reminded of another kiss that had left her breathless, wanting so much more…

With a strangled cry, she tore herself away, sitting upright. If Sesshomaru had only been half awake before, he was fully awake now. He sighed deeply before slowly sitting up, his back against the headboard. Kagome avoided looking at him, confused by the mix of emotions boiling within.

"I-I didn't mean…I'm sorry." She said softly, words failing her. Sesshomaru stared at the back of her head, wishing she would look at him. He knew she must be feeling confused as hell, but he didn't want her to be sorry. He wasn't.

"Kagome don't-"

Kagome shook her head. "Please don't say anything," She pleaded, turning her head slightly. Sesshomaru glimpsed the telltale glisten of tears in her eyes. He looked away, before giving a sharp nod of his head.

"Fine. We'll leave shortly."

She knew he was upset with her, either for pushing him away or maybe for not facing her feelings. She sighed. She had to admit that she was feeling a little upset with herself at the moment also. Until she wholeheartedly put the past to rest, she would always find herself shutting others out.

~^~

Sesshomaru guided the SUV into the driveway and cut off the engine. He reached for the door handle, but Kagome reached over and stopped him.

"I'm sorry about what happened this morning," She started. Sesshomaru waved a hand at her, his face blank. "Nothing to apologize for. It shouldn't have happened."

Kagome bit her lower lip. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I don't think that's true." Sesshomaru glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. Kagome pressed forward. "I don't think it was a mistake, either. I-I've been wanting to do that ever since that night we went ice skating."

Sesshomaru's silence was a bit unnerving and Kagome shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She looked out the window, watching the trees rustle in the cold breeze. The silence in the vehicle seemed to stretch on until Sesshomaru decided to speak.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Kagome, because I don't regret kissing you. To be perfectly honest, I've been attracted to you ever since you and…" He hesitated, not wanting to bring up Inuyasha at this moment, especially when she was opening up. Kagome's expression registered surprise. She hadn't known Sesshomaru had harbored feelings for her.

"Well, for a while now," He said carefully. "I also understand that you have issues to deal with." He turned to her, his eyes glinting. He reached out and cupped her cheek. "I'm not asking for the world, Kagome," He told her, his voice low. "All I'm asking is for you to let me help you deal with the past and learn to live in the present."

Kagome was touched by his words and slowly lifted her hand to cover his own on her cheek. He leaned in slowly and brushed his lips across hers. "Will you let me do that?" He whispered, his eyes searching her misty gray orbs. Kagome gave him a small smile before nodding her head.

"I think I can do that," She told him. He gave her the barest hint of a smile before climbing out of the car and heading inside the house. Kagome stayed behind, doubt nagging at her. Could she really start over? And with Inuyasha's brother no less?

~^~

Kagome couldn't help smiling at her friend's exclamations of concern and worry. Ever since Sango had learned of the events that had transpired the night before, she had been full of regret for leaving Kagome alone in the parking garage.

"For the hundredth time, there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent what happened." She tried to tell the distraught woman. Sango kept her eyes on the road ahead, but shook her head vehemently. "I could have walked you to your car and had you drop me off at mine. If I had suggested that, you never would have gotten attacked. She slowed for a stoplight and turned to look at Kagome. "It's all my fault."

Kagome laughed at the absurdity of the statement. "Really, Sango! You can't possibly believe that? Who's to say that even if you had walked me to my car the maniac wouldn't have attacked us both?" She gave her friend a knowing look. Sango returned her attention to the road, pressing forward through the light traffic.

"I guess maybe you're right," She mumbled, still uncertain. Kagome nodded her head. "I am."

Sango flicked the heater up another notch. "So you don't know who the guy is that came along and helped you?" Kagome frowned, the stranger's unknown identity still bothersome. "No. I mean, I kind of remember details, but I'm not sure if they're real." Sango glanced at her, puzzled. "Huh?"

Kagome sighed. "I think the whole situation freaked me out more than I thought and I kind of…imagined some things." The words sounded insane out loud, but she didn't know any better way to put it.

"Like what?" Sango questioned, curious. "Well, for starters, later that night I had a nightmare that my attacker had fangs and red eyes, like something out of a horror flick." She shivered, still imagining the menacing image. "And I thought, for a fleeting moment, that the guy who saved me was…Inuyasha."

Sango didn't know how to respond, so she kept quiet. Kagome knew what she was thinking. "I know it wasn't possible for the stranger to be Inuyasha, but I could have sworn it was him…" She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know, I guess my mind was playing tricks on me."

Sango turned into the entrance of the mall-parking garage and guided the car along the curving ramps. "Well, it's a good thing the guy wasn't as whacked out as your attacker and had the common courtesy to call somebody." She said. Kagome nodded, still bothered by the fact that the guy knew to call Sesshomaru. She still couldn't figure out how he'd known to do that. "I didn't know Sesshomaru could be such a decent human being, coming to get you and all." Sango continued.

"Knock it off," Kagome said a little too harshly. Sango gave her a surprised look. "Sesshomaru's not as bad as he seems. He really is a decent human being and he doesn't deserve your insults."

"Sorry," Sango muttered. Kagome crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't meant to be so testy, but hearing Sango talk about Sesshomaru like that had just sparked something within her. After what he'd told her that morning, she looked at him in a whole different light.

Sango stopped in front of Kagome's abandoned Honda Civic. Kagome unfastened her seat belt and reached for the door handle. "Thanks for the ride," She said shortly, still miffed at Sango's insensitive remark. Sango huffed.

"Jeez, Kagome! I didn't know you were, like, in love with the guy!"

Kagome glared at her. "I'm not!" She said defensively. Sango raised an eyebrow. "I was only kidding, Higurashi." Kagome felt a blush heat up her cheeks. Of course she should have known that. Sango's expression softened.

"I am sorry about what I said. I didn't mean to imply anything, after all, he did help you out." She gave Kagome a tentative smile. "Forgive me?" Kagome pursed her lips as if giving the request serious thought. Sango gave her an exasperated look.

"Kagome!"

Kagome burst into a fit of giggles. She swatted her friend on the arm. "Of course, Sango!" She exclaimed, leaning over to give the relieved girl a hug. After promising to call her later, Kagome got out of the car and waved as Sango drove off. Kagome walked to her car, suddenly feeling a chill that wasn't a result of the cold weather. She was imagining her attacker coming back to finish the job. She hurriedly shoved the key into the lock and threw the door open, breathing easy only when she was safely inside the car with the doors securely locked.

As she started the car and drove toward the exit, she went over what she was going to do with the rest of her day. It was almost three o'clock and she had to do something she didn't want to do before heading over to Pine Hill. She sighed as she guided the car into traffic. She'd put it off long enough and it was time she faced the music.

~^~

Kagome pulled around the curving driveway and slowed the car to a halt in front of the house. She cut the engine and took a deep breath. She got out of the car and was instantly greeted by Henri, the butler.

"Ms. Higurashi! Such a pleasure to see you again! You've been away for so long that this old house hasn't been the same!" Kagome smiled as the much older man gave her a slight bow.

"Merci, Henri." Kagome responded, returning the bow. He gave her a slight smile, a twinkle of pleasure in his faded blue eyes. He'd been with her family ever since Kagome could remember and when she was old enough, she'd decided to learn French, Henri's native tongue. He'd been touched when she'd surprised him with her knowledge of his native language.

"Vous regardez bien," Henri said, standing aside so she could enter the wide foyer. He took her jacket and placed it in the hall closet. She wasn't so sure she looked as well as Henri thought she did. She felt as if a million butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach. She could almost feel the tension tightening the muscles in her body.

"Ou est ma mère?" She asked, a note of trepidation in her voice. Henri gave her a knowing look before pointing toward the library. She moved toward the room where her mother was no doubt making out her monthly planner, leaving no day free.

"Vous aiment du café?" Kagome nodded her head eagerly. If things got out of hand with her mother, then coffee would be the perfect excuse for a time out. Henri gave her arm a reassuring squeeze before leaving to prepare the coffee. Kagome turned towards the library, moving as slowly as humanly possible. She really wasn't in a hurry to face her mother and her inevitable wrath.

Once she reached the entranceway to the expansive library, Kagome stood and watched her mother. She was dressed in an ivory pantsuit, the jacket draped over the back of the chair she was sitting in. Her hair was twisted into a French roll, her features flawlessly done up in just the right amount of make-up so as not to look overdone. No matter what she thought of her mother, she would never deny her classic beauty.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she cleared her throat loudly. Michiko looked up from the letter she was writing, her expression instantly changing to one of indifference at the sight of her daughter.

"Kagome." She said by way of greeting, her tone flat. Kagome walked further into the room, standing by the fireplace. "Chi Chi." She retorted, already feeling annoyance at her mother's attitude. Michiko placed the pen she'd been holding next to the letter and folded her hands in her lap.

"To what do I owe this honor?" She asked dryly, one eyebrow raised. "I was sure it would be months yet when you finally decided to come home." Kagome rolled her eyes, catching the subtle gloating in her mother's tone. The rebellious daughter comes crawling home, no doubt. Kagome smirked.

"Not quite, Chi Chi." Michiko frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kagome said, "That I'm not here to stay. I only came to clear the air between you and I." She glanced at her mother. "I realize that the way I left was a little abrupt and I wanted to explain why I left the way I did and why I need to stay away."

Michiko slowly rose from her seat, her features tight. "Kagome, you are a child and the decisions you have made thus far only lend credence to that statement." Kagome's mouth hung open and she couldn't have been more surprised if it had been a slap to her face rather than her mother's cold words.

"You've got to kidding me!" Kagome responded heatedly. "Mother, I'm fucking 21 years old! I'm not a child anymore!"

Michiko scoffed. "Refrain from using such language in this house." She said sternly, completely ignoring what Kagome had said. Kagome shook her head, amazed that her mother could be so stubborn.

"I cannot stay here anymore because I feel suffocated…by you, by daddy, by everyone! I need to be somewhere where I can just breath and not worry about pleasing everyone else or having to keep up appearances." Kagome's eyes silently pleaded for her mother's understanding. It was futile, however.

"Nonsense!" Michiko spat, turning to face the large bay window that overlooked the gardens. "You have every freedom in the world…more freedom than most young people your age."

Kagome threw up her arms in frustration. "Damnit, mother, that's not what I'm talking about! I'm talking about my sanity, my peace of mind! After what happened with Inuyasha you and daddy never-"

A sound at the door caught her attention. Kagome turned to see Henri standing in the doorway with a tray of coffee.

"Coffee, Madame?" He directed the question toward Michiko, but his eyes were on Kagome. Kagome saw the sympathy in his kind eyes and gave him a small, tired smile. Michiko turned around and gestured for him to set the tray on the table near the fireplace.

"Etes-vous bien?" Henri whispered as he bent down to deposit the tray. Kagome was touched by his concern for her well-being and smiled. "Très bien." He gave her a brief smile before bowing towards Michiko and leaving the room. Michiko walked over to the table and sat down in one of the plush caramel-colored armchairs. She carefully poured herself a cup of coffee, adding a dash of cream and two cubes of sugar.

After taking a sip, she looked up at Kagome. "Don't stand there gawking at me! Sit!" She ordered. Kagome rolled her eyes but eventually sat down, pouring her own cup of coffee.

"Where are you staying?" Michiko asked, eyeing her daughter over the rim of her cup. Kagome took a sip of the scalding liquid before answering with some hesitation, "Sesshomaru Haturo." Kagome was surprised when her mother remained silent, not saying anything.

"There's nothing going on between us, he just offered me a place to stay because he knew there was nowhere else for me to go." Kagome explained quietly, her gaze sliding away. It wasn't entirely the truth, but she knew her mother would hit the roof if she found out that there was, in fact, something going on between her and Sesshomaru.

"And how long will you be staying with Mr. Haturo?" She asked. Kagome shrugged. "I don't know…I guess until I feel whole again." Michko's eyes narrowed at this. "Kagome, why do you insist on continuing with this insane theory that something is wrong with you?"

Kagome sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "Because there is, mother. No matter how much you deny it, it won't make it any less true." She opened her eyes to look at her mother, her eyes hard. "When Inuyasha died, a piece of me died with him and I couldn't function. I withdrew from my friends, found myself depressed most of the time," Kagome pointed a finger at her mother. "And you were oblivious to it all, only dumping me with that damn therapist when daddy suggested it."

Michiko winced as if she'd been the one to be struck this time. She placed her cup down on the table and clasped her hands together tightly. She opened her mouth to speak, but seemed to change her mind and looked away.

"I'm only now just beginning to pick up the pieces, mother." Kagome continued on quietly. "I'm beginning to act like my old self again and I couldn't do that living here in this house."

Michiko glanced at her, a flash of hurt in her clear brown eyes. "You mean living here with me, don't you?" Kagome bit her lip before nodding slowly. With a short laugh, Michiko rose from the chair.

"Well, I won't bother you with my presence anymore." She said before gracefully leaving the room. Kagome leaned her head back against the chair; feeling drained all of a sudden. It had gone pretty much how she'd imagined. Nothing getting resolved, everything staying the same.

~^~

The headlights of the Honda washed over the rusted iron gates with the words Pine Hill Cemetery etched in the middle. Kagome guided the car through the gate and down the winding dirt road. She glanced at the radio, frowning at the time. After she'd gladly left her house, she'd gone to a fast food restaurant for dinner before making the short trip to the cemetery. It was now seven-thirty and the cemetery was beginning to gather murky shadows.

After driving for about a mile, Kagome stopped the car and put it in park, leaving it running. She hopped out of the car and walked towards a plot of land underneath a giant willow tree. She stopped in front of a plain marble headstone. Even though night had fallen, the pale moonlight provided enough light for her to read the words on the piece of stone.

"Inuyasha Haturo," She whispered, kneeling down so that she was looking directly at the headstone. "1982-2003." She ran her fingers lightly over the simple inscription. Taken Long Before His Time.

Kagome sighed, feeling a deep sadness well up inside her. `No crying,' She told herself sternly. She'd done enough crying to last her a lifetime.

"Oh, Inuyasha," She breathed. "I wanted so badly for us to be together, to experience everything in life with each other, but fate had other plans for us." A gust of wind whipped the dry leaves up around her and she pulled her coat tighter around her, bracing herself against the cold.

"I honestly didn't think I could go on without you, but I see now that it's the only option I have. I want to live and be happy and…" She looked down, dropping her hand to her side. "Love again." Her voice came out in a tortured whisper, as if what she was saying was blasphemy.

The wind picked up, as if in sync with her emotions. Kagome stood slowly to her feet. "So this is me finally letting you go, for real this time, so I can live in peace. My life, my love…" She ducked her head against the rising wind and turned to leave. She let out a small gasp when she saw a figure standing by her car, motionless. Her first thought was to flee, not wanting a repeat of what had happened to her recently.

Something, however, stopped her. Maybe it was the way the figure stood, his pose non-threatening. Or maybe it was the feeling that he wouldn't hurt her, couldn't hurt her.

She strained to see the stranger's features but even meager moonlight didn't help at this distance. "Hello?" She called out, her voice uncertain. After a moment, the figure moved away from the car and walked towards her. Kagome watched, still not entirely sure she wasn't in danger, but innately sensing there was no danger.

A patch of moonlight suddenly fell upon the stranger and Kagome's breath hitched. There was no mistaking it this time. Her hand lifted of its own accord and touched her cheek.

The figure stopped right in front of her. Kagome's eyes widened, both in shock and awe. Besides the whistling wind, not a sound could be heard except for the erratic beating of her heart.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," The man said, the deep timbre of his voice as familiar as the scar she'd gotten on her knee when she'd fallen from the monkey bars as a kid.

"I think I have…Inuyasha." She whispered.

a/n: sorry for the delay…summer classes have been a bit more hectic than i thought…fortunately they'll be over in another week, but that only means fall semester is right around the corner! : ( anyways, hope you all like the chap…as promised, inu makes his appearance…it only gets better from here! thanks for the reviews and i'll see ya next chap!