InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lonely ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Lonely
How had he ever thought that this could be for the best? Why had he left her, when he’d only wanted to hold her in his arms, forever?
He’d felt how relieved she’d been at being reunited with her family. He’d known that there was no place in her wold for him. He hadn’t really had a choice, had he? If the only way to guarantee Kagome’s happiness was to leave her in a time that had no place for him, that was a sacrifice he’d had to make. He would do anything for her. He would do the same thing again, given the same choices.
But why did it have to be so damn hard? Why did he have to check the well every few days to see if it would take him to the only person who had ever been able to ease the empty feeling within himself? He knew each time he came into the clearing that the answer the fates would give him would be the same. His destiny was to remain in the past, and Kagome could only be happy in the future.
When he had no company but himself on those long, quiet nights beneath the stars that she’d loved so much, he could only hope that she was satisfied with her life, so far removed from him. He couldn’t stand thinking of her feeling as he did, now. But she had others who cared for her. They needed to know she was happy, just as much as he did. He would give anything, simply to make her happy.
His friends made sure that his days were filled with activity. With their growing family, Miroku and Sango always had need of his special talents. Even if it was simply entertaining the children. He had to admit that the girls were as mischievous as their father. They were twin bundles of energy, and required constant attention.
Kaede and Rin frequently needed his help, too. Sesshoumaru had been confident that their needs would be taken care of when he left the girl in the old miko’s care. Watching Rin and Shippou grow, these last few years, had shown just how much time had passed since he’d given up his own dreams of happiness.
But in the quiet of the night, when he had no company but himself, he couldn’t help but feel the pangs of loneliness. He’d always known that his expectations should not have included a peaceful, fulfilled life for himself, but she’d given him hope for the future in her brief time with him. Hope for a life together, always at each other’s side.
He’d only been able to accept the depth of his feeling for her at the end. He’d realized that his life had been meant for her from the moment he’d been born. He’d thought that her life had been meant for him to share, but he’d realized that she needed her family, too. So he’d stepped back into the well, before she could stop him. He’d been able to give her that much, anyway. If the fates were kind, maybe she would think of him and remember their time together, fondly.
Closing his eyes against the tears that threatened to spill, he rested in the comfort of the tree that had brought them together. He would embrace the sleep and the dreams that brought her back to him, if only for a short while. Tomorrow would be here soon enough, but for tonight he would live with his lovely Kagome in his dreams.