InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Metamorphosis. ❯ A Friend's Love ( Chapter 11 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
~A Friend's Love~
Sango stared at Kagome in absolute shock. Shaking her head slowly as she tried to grasp what she'd said, she tried to fathom the meaning behind it all. “Is it possible?” she asked, breaking the silence in the meadow.
Kagome nodded and handed Sango a book. “Mama took me to a doctor to see about all this, and I can't do it the regular way. I've researched it, though, and they've done this for a long time, without the new ways and means.” She stopped, waiting for them to say something before she tried to explain the technicalities that she'd figured out with her mother's help. “If you two aren't comfortable with it, then it's fine.”
Miroku cleared his throat and stared at Sango. “How would this happen? I mean, I made a vow to Sango, and . . .”
Kagome felt herself blush and took small comfort in the fact that Miroku was just as red-faced as she was. “No, it wouldn't be like that . . . I would just need some of your . . . semen,” she forced herself to say. `Good, Kagome. You're offering to carry their baby in your body, and you can't even say the words . . .'
“But it would be your baby?” Sango asked quietly.
Kagome swallowed hard. “No . . . the egg would be mine, but the baby would be yours and Miroku's.”
“Could you really do that?” Sango pressed. “Kagome . . .”
“I've thought about it a long time. I wouldn't offer if I didn't know I could do it.”
“He told me to do what I needed to do, to help you.”
“You didn't tell him what you were thinking?” Miroku asked incredulously. “Kagome . . .”
She shook her head. “I tried to tell him, but you know how he is. Everything is black and white to him, right and wrong, and . . . and I did tell him, before he left. I hollered it at him. I don't know if he heard me or not, but he was gone before I could see if he did. Anyway, it's really not his choice.”
“Oh?” Miroku countered. “You believe that? You know that violent reaction he has whenever Kouga's around?” Kagome nodded slowly. “Think much bigger. Way bigger.”
“You want to talk about bigger? What about your garden, Sango? How much bigger is that going to get before it kills you inside? How many more times will you lose babies before you'll let me help you?” Kagome asked quietly. “Don't make this about InuYasha. I'll deal with him. I've tried to wish the well open, I've tried to think of anything else that would help you, and there's nothing. I can do this. You've both done so much for me. Let me help you this time.”
When Sango and Miroku continued to exchange worried glances, Kagome sighed and dug into her backpack for the last weapon she had. Pulling out the Polaroid snapshot, she handed it to Sango. “That's your garden, Sango. It was taken last summer. All seven varieties you chose. In my time, there are still only seven. I think I'm meant to do this for you, if you'll let me.”
Sango wiped her eyes as she stared at the picture. “It's my garden,” she murmured as Miroku peeked over her shoulder. “My garden . . .”
Miroku closed his eyes as he turned his face away. Kagome didn't miss the telling brightness in his eyes when he opened them to gaze off at the forest. “I don't know, Kagome. What you're offering is a blessing, but InuYasha is my friend—our friend—and whether you believe it or not, he does care about you. I don't want to ruin anything with you two before you have a chance to see if there is anything there . . . “
“Miroku . . .” Kagome began slowly, clearing her throat as a knot formed, as her stomach constricted. She was taking a risk, wasn't she? But she knew that. “If he cares, then he'll still care, even if I do this.” When Miroku still didn't look convinced, Kagome sighed. “Look, InuYasha does things that I don't like, but that doesn't mean that I care about him any less. This is something I want to do, for the two of you. Let me make my choice, and let me deal with InuYasha. If we were together, then it'd be different. We're not, and I . . . I don't know if we ever will be, but I do know that this is something I've thought about a lot, and it's something I really want to do.”
“I . . . I want to do this, if Kagome's willing,” Sango said quietly, staring at the picture in her hands. Turning her gaze on Miroku, she reached over, laid her hand on his arm. “Please . . . Kagome's right. If he loves her, he'll still love her.”
Miroku made a face but smiled at last. “Easy for you two to say. You're not the one he's going to try to kill.” He sighed. “All right. Explain to us how this whole thing works.”
Her window was open, the sweet spring night air filtering into the room as her scent came to him. An underlying hint of something primitive wrapped around his body, drew him closer. He'd only meant to make sure she was safe. The call of her soul was too strong to be ignored. A light thump as he dropped off the windowsill into her bedroom, he fell back against the wall as her scent grew stronger. `Kagome . . .'
She sat up on her bed. In the faint moonlight siphoning through the window, he could see every curve, every line, every hollow of her body. wearing one of those tiny shirts she called a tank top with just a pair of her cotton-and-lace panties, the sight of her was enough to draw a soft whine from him as he stared, transfixed, as she rose from the bed, as she approached him in the dark.
“Did you miss me?” she asked, her voice a whisper as she stopped near enough to feel the heat radiating off her body, far enough away that she wasn't touching him at all. She didn't have to. “You don't have to say . . . I missed you, though.”
She didn't give him a chance to answer. Her lips touched his, softly, gently, as everything that was Kagome surrounded him in an instant. Her fragrance overwhelmed him—sakura blossoms in the springtime rain. The feel of her lips on his, opening, teasing, the tip of her tongue tracing his mouth, pressing against his teeth, running along his fangs. She stood away from him, hands clutching his haori so tightly that he could feel the neckline digging against the back of his neck.
“Hold me,” she murmured against his lips, “don't leave me behind again . . .”
“No,” he assured her, hands wrapping around her, dragging her against him as she gasped. The tension gripped him as he held her, as he slipped a hand into the silk of her hair, as he tipped her head, tasting the sweetness of her. The understanding that she wanted his kisses, wanted his arms around her, wanted to be with him spurred an urgency in touch, drove a rampant passion through him as she returned the pressure of his mouth, as she pressed closer to him.
Hands tugging on his haori, relentless as she searched for his flesh, she yanked his haori and undershirt open, her hands delving beneath. InuYasha closed his eyes as Kagome's hands brushed over him, kneading muscle, teasing skin. The absolute sensation, the shock of her touch shot through him. Her mouth dropped to his chest, and when he opened his eyes to look at her, the fire banking in her gaze scalded his blood, fired something primitive and dark. “Tell me what you want, InuYasha . . .”
His answer was a groan as her tongue flicked over his nipple, hands delving lower, fumbling with the ties of his hakama, yanking viciously s she struggled to work the knot. She worked it free, staring into his eyes as her fingers slipped lower between his clothing, seeking his skin . . .
With a start, InuYasha jerked awake, nearly unseating himself from his treetop perch in the process. “What the . . . ?” he grumbled as he struggled to shake off the remnants of the dream, the all-too-real proof of what it had done to him. Staring down at his chest with a marked frown and a hot blush, he tugged his undershirt closed and hastily retied his hakama.
Dropping out of the tree with a low groan, InuYasha rubbed his face as he stuck Tetsusaiga through his waistband.
`Tell me what you want, InuYasha . . .'
`What's happening to me?' he wondered. Why did he keep having these dreams?
He sighed and sank down under the tree. He'd had dreams before, every now and again, of kissing Kagome. Lately, though, the dreams had gotten more potent, more real. Even now, he ached so badly that he closed his eyes against the force of his need. He'd never felt anything quite as overpowering as the current of wanting, the desperation of his state of mind. He had to do something or he'd end up going crazy.
Staggering to his feet, InuYasha headed toward the nearby pond, knowing in the back of his mind that it was a completely hopeless endeavor. He'd done the same thing for the last four nights, seeking out some sort of relief in the cold night waters. It never, ever worked.
This dream had been the worst of them. The first dream had been no more than the heat of her lips against his, and that had been enough to keep him awake the rest of the night. It seemed like the images grew steadily worse with every passing night.
Hurriedly shedding his clothes before he dove into the frigid water of the cold spring, the liquid offered him little relief against the physical discomfort of the lingering dream. Kagome's hands had felt too real, raking over him in her wanton perusal. Her kisses had been too vivid, her scent too close. Bad enough, for the dreams to force him to the absolute limit of his own desires, his need for her grew. `Kami, Kagome . . . what have you done to me?'
His human night had been the worst. Already in a more vulnerable state because he was human, the dream he'd had that night was tough to deal with. He'd dreamt of kissing her, of stroking her hair, and he knew that it felt too real under his fingers, knew that it was all just an illusion. The ache that came with it, however, the burn in his veins hadn't listened to reason. `It was just a dream,' he told himself, `nothing but a fucking dream . . .'
Even in the moonlight with no one there to discern his thoughts, InuYasha blushed as dragged himself through the water. What he'd had to do to rid himself of his all-consuming need that night . . . His human mind, his human body hadn't been able to take it. The torment was magnified by his own vivid memories, unaffected by the passage of time, the inner knowledge of what Kagome looked like under her clothes hadn't helped. As if every single thing he knew about her had been reawakened in him, he'd done the only thing he knew of that would rid him of his rampant need, and in the end, it had just felt wrong.
Grimacing at his own weakness, InuYasha blocked that out of his mind. Something about it had felt immoral, dirty, as though he shouldn't have put a face on his need, as though he were somehow belittling her with what he had done. That was the reason he hadn't done it since. He'd prefer to live with his own discomfort than to defile her with his inability to control his own thoughts.
And that scared him, too. The Kagome he knew was so pure, so gentle, and yet the one that came to him in his dreams was so different. She smelled the same, looked the same, but her daring, her overwhelming presence . . . It confused him.
Finally stopping to stand under the current of the waterfall, InuYasha closed his eyes and sighed and waited. His body tense and aching, he did the only thing he could do. He waited for the sun to rise, waited for the night to fade, waited for the dreams to disburse so he could get on with his search for answers.
Kagome swallowed hard as she stared at the ovulation predictor kit in her shaking hand. It had been a little over a week since she'd approached Sango and Miroku with her idea to carry their baby. She started taking the ovulation predictor tests two days ago. Having read the instructions over and over again, she knew she hadn't made a mistake anywhere. It looked exactly like a pregnancy test. She held the plastic stick up again and swallowed hard as butterflies took over her belly.
Two blue lines. It was time.
Drawing a deep breath, Kagome opened the bathroom door and headed for the kitchen.
Mrs. Higurashi looked up from the morning paper and smiled reassuringly at her daughter.
“Mama . . . it's time.”
Mrs. Higurashi's smile faded slightly but didn't disappear as she rose from her chair. “Okay. I'll get everything ready for you here, then.”
Kagome managed a weak smile and nodded as she hurriedly hugged her mother and ran out of the kitchen and through the house, heading for the back door.
Trying not to think about how her life would change, trying only to concentrate on the extraordinary feeling that she would be able to help Sango and Miroku, Kagome thought back to the day she'd had to explain to her friends, how this would all work as she threw open the well-house door and ran down the steps to hurtle the wall and drop inside.
“So you're saying you'll use this ovulation predictor kit to figure out when the best time for you to get pregnant would be and then I'm supposed to . . . `do my thing' in a cup?” Miroku asked dubiously as his face reddened. Sango stared studiously at the book in her lap.
“Yes,” Kagome said after clearing her throat as her face exploded in crimson color, “That's what I need you to do.”
“Um . . . forgive me for asking, Kagome,” the ex-monk said slowly, “but how will you use it?”
She made a face. This was the only part she was really uncomfortable with. Having discussed it with her mother, though, they had come to the conclusion that it would be the only way. “I'll have to inject it.”
Miroku looked like he wanted to ask something else but didn't. Sango shook her head. “And you think this will work?”
Kagome shrugged. “I don't know. That's how they did it, before they came up with more sophisticated means, and it worked then . . . Anyway, it's worth a shot, if it will give you two a baby.”
Her feet hit the ground on the other side of the well, and Kagome hurriedly climbed up. It had also been decided that, once Kagome had what she needed, Sango and Miroku would go on their postponed trip to the exterminators' village. They normally went at least once a season, and they'd had to put off their spring trip because of Sango's condition. But Kagome had thought that it'd be better if Miroku were gone when she tried to explain this to InuYasha, and since it would take at least a couple of weeks before she could actually take a pregnancy test, anyway, then there really wasn't anything anyone else could do to speed up the process.
Shippou and Ichisaru were playing tag in the meadow when Kagome popped her head out of the well. The kitsune grinned and ran to her with the monkey close on his heels. “Kagome! Is it time?”
“It is,” she said with a soft giggle. Shippou and Ichisaru didn't wait to hear more.
They'd told the children only that Kagome was going to have a baby for Sango and Miroku, and that when the time came, they'd be `in charge of' letting the monk know. Following along well behind the children, Kagome breathed deeply to calm her nerves.
`I'm meant to do this,” she assured herself, `and InuYasha . . . even if he doesn't understand . . .'
She shook her head. He'd never understand it. There wasn't any use in trying to convince herself that he would, but if he couldn't deal with it . . . She sighed. `But it's not about him. This is something I have to do, and . . . and if he cares at all . . . maybe he'll try to understand that.'
“And if he can't deal with it,” she assured herself as she stumbled along the path, “then . . . then I'll figure that out, too.”
Hakama: InuYasha's pants.
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Final Thought from Miroku :
I think a long trip sounds good, don't you, Sango?
Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Metamorphosis): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.