InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Oh God What is THAT? ❯ Oh God What is THAT? ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Inuyasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and Charlie the Unicorn is owned by whoever the hell owns him. Which is not me.






Inuyasha was (as usual) sulking in his favorite tree about Kagome's abscense.

Didn't she realize that there were jewel shards to find? 'Damn wench.' he thought to himself.

'I'm going to go get her right now, thinks she can do whatever the hell she feels like.' Inuyasha smirked to himself in triumph (let's just let him think that) and jumped out of the tree. Quickly, he checked to see if the others were anywhere in sight. Couldn't have them thinking he'd just caved and went to get, now could he?



Once he was sure that they weren't anywhere in sight, he leaped into the well, greeted by the farmilir pull of time.

Once he touched down on the bottom, a sound drifted into his ears. It was the sound of laughter. He moved closer to Kagome's window to see who was laughing and and just what was so funny.

He looked in and saw Kagome, her hand covering her mouth and her shoulders shaking with laughter. She was staring at a screen that emitted a glow onto her face, and a strange song was coming from a silver and black box at the side of the screen.

"Kagome?" he asked from the windowsill. "What's so funny?" She turned to face him, her face red from laughing. "Hi, Inuyasha." she laughed. "It's this flash movie from America. It's really funny." She turned back to the screen and pressed a button that made the images stop. Inuyasha walked over to the screen and sat down. "What's that thing?" he asked.

"This is called and computer." she told him, calming down a bit. "You can watch movies and read and send email and play games and stuff on it." she told him. He was farmiliar with the concept of movies and games, but not email. "What's email?" he asked. She smiled. "You know how people send letters to each other from far away? Well, this is done on the computer, and it only takes a few minutes for the letter to get to the other person." she explained.

Inuyasha nodded his head in understanding.

"What I'm doing is watching a flash movie called Charlie the Unicorn. Here, I'll start it over." she told him.

Inuyasha blinked. He'd faced down demons with seventeen eyes, Naraku's tentacles randomly developing mouths and fangs, and shapeshifting demons. But this "flash movie" of Kagome's was by far the weirdest thing he'd ever seen.

What he saw was a pink unicorn and a blue unicorn agitating a white unicorn, who appeared to be sleeping.

"Hey, Charlie!"


"Heeey Charlie wake up!"


"Yeah Charlie, you silly sleepyhead wake up!!"


"Ughhhh. Oh God you guys, this better be pretty freakin important. Is the meadow on fire?"


"No! We found a map to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain Charlie!"


"Yeah, come with us Charlie!" "Yeah! It'll be an adventure! We're going on and adventure Charlie!"


Inuyasha stared at the strange movie. Clearly "Charlie" had absolutely no desire to go to this "Candy Mountain." And quite frankly, Inuyasha didn't say he could blame him.



"Yeeahh, Candy mountain. Right. I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep."


"Noooooo! Charlie! You have to go with us to candy Mountain!"


"Yeah Candy Mountain!" It's a land of sweets, and joy.........and joyness."


"Candy Mountain Charlie!"

Inuyasha was shocked as the blue unicorn started bouncing on Charlie. Wouln't it's weight kill Charlie or something?


"Please stop bouncing on me."


"Candy Mountain Charlie!"



"Yeah, Candy Mountain Charlie!"


"Alright fine! I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!"


That's interesting. Charlie was the only one who has joints that work.


"La la la la la. La la la la la."


"Enough with the singing already!"


"Our first stop is over there, Charlie."


"Oh God what is that?"


Inuyasha couldn't agree more. There lay on the rock what looked like one of Naraku's demons........or something. Or maybe a curse gone horribly awry. Either way, it would ever be a mystery what the hell it was.





"It's a Lioplurodon, Charlie!"


"A magical Lioplurodoooon!"


'Lioplurodon'? What the hell was that? One of Naraku's new incarnations? Maybe it found a way to shrink itself and go into Kaogme's 'computer'? That must not have been the case, seeing as Kagome found this whole "Candy Mountain" ordeal terribly funny.


"It's gonna guide our whay to Candy Mountain!"


"Alright, you guys do know that that there's no actual Candy Mountain, right?"


"Shun the nonbeliever!"


"Shuuuuuuunnnn!"


"Ssssssssssssssh hhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-uh!"


"Yeah."


Inuyasha jumped as 'Lioplurodon' made a sound like the time he'd dropped a fork down Kagome's garbage disposal. Maybe it swallowed a fork too....?


"It has spoken!"


"It has told us the waaaaaaaayyy!"


"...........It didn't say ANYTHING!"


Seriously, it really didn't say anything, Inuyasha thought. How the hell did BLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! reveal anything about direction?


"It's just over this bridge, Charlie."


"This magical bridge, of hope and wooonnndeeeerrr."


"Okay, is anybody else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriouly, guys, we shouldn't be on this thing."


"Chaarrliiieee, Chaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrlie! Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee!"


"I'm right here, what do you want?!"


"We're on a bridge, Charlie!"



Whoa, no shit? ANYBODY with goddamn eyes could see that they were on a bridge. Inuyasha was starting to suspect that these two stiff unicorns had already been to Candy Mountain, if you know what I mean.


"We're heeeerrrrreeee!"


"Well what do you know, there actually is a Candy Mountain."


"Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain! Fill me with sweet sugary goodness!"


"Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Charliee!"


"Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Charlie!"


"Yeah Charlie! Magical wonders to behold when you enter!"


"No thanks, I'm just gonna stay out here."


"But you must go inside the Candy Mountain cave, Charlie!


Again, Inuyasha jumped as music started playing out of nowhere. The letters that spelled "Candy" leaped right off the sign and started dancing. Inuyasha knew little of Kagome's time, but he was pretty sure that wasn't normal. Especially when the letter "Y" started singing about happiness and candy. Inuyasha didn't know this strange letter, but already harbored the utmost hatred for it.
He was relieved when the dancing letters exploded.


"All right I'll go inside the freakin candy cave! This had better be good."


"Hahahaha! Goodby Charlie!"


"Yeah, Goodby!"


"Wha- goodbye?!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened as two door appeared out of nowhere and locked the unicorn in. Just what did these unicorns plan to do?




Clicking sounds could be heard.

"Hello?"


Kagome was laughing. How exactly was this funny?


Sounds of someone recieving a beating could be heard.


Suddenly, Charlie was lying in a field. There was a bloody gash on his side.

"Ughhhh, what happened?"

He looked at the gash.


"Awwwww, they took my freakin kidney!!"


Hold on, did he say KIDNEY!? Inuyasha began to think of all the reasons a unicorn's kidney would be needed. For some odd reason, he couldn't find one. He made a mental note to ask Kaede later.


"Hahaha! Wasn't that funny, Inuyasha?" Kagome gasped. Inuyasha blinked, as he himself had found the cartoon a little disturbing. He found himself wondering just what people in her time did for entertainment.

"Uhh, yeah, Kagome. Whatever you say."


THE END


A/N: Like I said, pointless and stupid. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Or, maybe you just lost interest at the beginning. PLEASE review!