InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Summer ❯ The Arrest ( Chapter 15 )

A/N: Seriously, though, no matter how long the space between updates, I am going to finish this. Also, some plot threads are actually being followed up on in this chapter. (GASPETH!) The story is winding to an end, whoo!

 

Chapter Fifteen: The Arrest

 

“What should we do now?” asked Carol, staring into the ball. The image flickered, and then disappeared.

 

“Hmm…” Cindy prodded the supine body of Madame Zelda. “It seems that she has succumbed to the malignant forces of the otherworld.”

 

“Oh.” Carol stood up. “Well, there's definitely something weird going on h—“

 

“Lord Sesshoumaru!” A green blur hurtled into the room, falling at the feet of the white-haired demon.

 

“Jaken!?” said Carol, Cindy and Sesshoumaru, simultaneously.

 

“I…::huff:: found you! ::pant:: … What is this strange place?”

 

“Um.” Oh no. Carol did some quick mental calculations. Hiding Sesshoumaru was one thing. At least he looked (mostly) human. How ever would she manage keeping the toad-like Jaken secret? He was green, for goodness sake! Green!

 

“It's hard to explain,” Carol continued, feeling a bit green herself. “What's the last thing you remember?” Unbidden, images of explaining Jaken to her mother came to Carol's mind.

 

“See, Mom, it's my science project,” she'd say, making wild gestures in hopes of taking her mother's attention away from the obvious (it wouldn't work, her mother was sharper than a serial killer's bloodstained machete).

 

“Science project?” Her mother's eyebrow would raise. `I haven't heard of any science project…' she'd be thinking.

 

“Er…yeah. It's a … mutated lima bean!”

 

And her mother would just stare at her.

 

“Are you feeling all right, Carol?”

 

Red faced, Carol would cringe. “Fine! Never been better! A-okay over here, really, heh, I mean—“

 

Oh, Jaken was talking. Carol jerked out of her morbid fantasy.

 

“There was this white light, and …”

 

“What about before that?” Maybe there's some sort of link between Sesshoumaru's situation and Jaken's? Duh, of course there's a link! There always is! And then the killer jumps out from behind the bushes. Link first, then serial killer. Yes. Just like in the movies. There was a method to these things.

 

Jaken considered this. “That Rin and her awful flowers! She forced me to smell it, my lord! Ugh. If that wasn't the most ugly flower I have ever seen—“

 

“Flowers?” said Sesshoumaru, suddenly. “This flower… was it pink and purple?”

 

“It was hideous, my lord, all swollen around the petals. It hurt to look at it and—what?” Jaken looked up from his tirade.

 

“Was the flower pink and purple?

 

“Yes! It was!”

 

“Ha-ha!” said Cindy, “Did it have deadly spores?”

 

“No.”

 

“An aura of mind-shattering evil?”

 

“No.”

 

She shrugged. “Pah! Then it is just a mere flower! Can I try on your hat?”

 

“No!” said Jaken, aghast.

 

“These flowers—“ Carol began.

 

Suddenly a hand clamped over her mouth.

 

“Shhh! Not here!”

 

“Cindy, quit it!” Carol tried to say, but since her mouth was covered, it came out `Mphinee, fuit et!'

 

“No!” cried Cindy, holding Jaken's hat over his head.

 

“Wretched girl!”

 

“Dance Jaken, dance!”

 

That Cindy was going to get herself killed one of these days.

 

Wait a minute…

 

Holding Jaken's hat over his head? Cogs in Carol's tired brain belatedly began to whirr… let's see, if Cindy is over there, and the person who's gagging me is behind me…yes! Two plus two does indeed equal four!

 

Uh-oh.

 

Meanwhile…

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Kagome waved Inu-Yasha off. “I'm fine.”

 

“You don't sound fine.”

 

“Really! No…ug, problem.” Kagome turned from the offending vat of pudding. Out of sight, out of mind. More importantly, out of sight, away from stomach.

 

“So exactly how are we going to get rid of the zombies?” asked Miroku, addressing the old man.

 

“We will use the principles of the greatest piece of literature in all the world!”

 

“And just what is that?”

 

The man fished around in his pants and produced a battered, weather-beaten tome. In large, garish letters, the title read “Pun Moo's Fart of War”

 

“That's the great literature?” snorted Inu-Yasha. “What kind of a name is Pun Moo, anyway?”

 

“Why, that's me!” the old man beamed.

 

“Pardon?” said Miroku.

 

“I am Pun Moo, and this,” he brandished the book, “is my Fart.”

 

Suddenly, Miroku realized that the odds of this ending well had dropped lower than his hand yesterday when Sango was…::cough:: um….when Miroku was…doing…important things. Yes. Very very important things. He couldn't understand why she had gotten so upset.

 

“Is it now?” squeaked Kagome. The reference to bodily functions was not helping at all.

 

 

 

-------------

 

 

“Who's behind me?” asked Carol, only it came out `Ooos mehin me?' and no one understood a word of it.

 

The hand abruptly dropped from her face. Carol gasped gratefully. Air! Clean, non-palm-filtered air!

 

“You may call me Agent 349B.” A figure stepped out of the shadows.

 

Cindy didn't recognize it, was too busy tormenting Jaken.

 

Carol knew that she (and likely Sesshoumaru as well) could never forget that face. Not after what had happened.

 

------------

 

“Kagome?” said Shippo, all of a sudden.

 

“Yes?” It was the first time Shippo had spoken since…the incident. Kagome bent down, eager to hear what he had to say.

 

“Would you…would you come with me?”

 

“What? To where?” And then, in hushed tones: “Do you want to talk about… it?”

 

Shippo shook his head. Amazing, he didn't even flinch at the mention of the stool incident. “No, I just want you to come with me.”

 

“Just me?” said Kagome.

 

Shippo's face screwed up. His ears perked, like he was listening for something. At a length he replied. “No, everyone should come.”

 

Confused, the whole group, Agnes included, followed Shippo through a hole in the mound, concealed with moss.

 

“How did you know where that was?” asked Sango, gesturing to it.

 

“I didn't even know that was there!” Pun Moo scratched his head.

 

Shippo shrugged stiffly and continued walking.

 

--------------

 

“Y-you, you're the old lady from before!” Carol's mouth hung open. After all the crazy things that had been going on lately, you'd think she'd be used to stuff like this by now.

 

The acrobatic senior citizen's wrinkled face broke into a smile.

 

“We almost hit you with the car,” said Carol, dumbly.

 

“Yes, but at my age, it takes more than a simple screaming metal death machine to take you out.”

 

In the pink fluttery, anti-disinfectant ridden haze of Carol's mind, part of this did not ring true. Still, she hadn't yet regained the cognitive abilities to put her feelings into words. As a result, all that came out of her mouth was:

 

“But those men chasing you…and the explosion?”

 

“All part of my mission.”

 

Cindy dropped Jaken's hat. Muttering curses, the little demon dusted it off and put it back in its rightful place. Insolent human females! One of these days…

 

“You're after the Cauliflower of Infinite Wisdom!” she accused.

 

“No, not cauliflower. Begonias.”

 

“Begonias?” Carol's mouth twitched involuntarily. What next?

 

“They're a type of flower. Only, the government has been breeding strains of them in secret and ---” Sure, a government conspiracy. Why not? Elvis, space aliens and the little purple men in the sugar bowl should be along any moment now.

 

Suddenly, the blue velvet curtain wrenched open, flooding the darkened room with terminally bright mall-lighting.

 

“There it is!” said Madame Cristina, adjusting her blouse. Agent 349B hissed and retreated catlike into the shadows.

 

Two mall security men in goofy mall-security hats marched in. (Contrary to what one might believe, they were actually quite proud of the goofy hats. The hats were symbols of Authority, and a mall-cop needed all the Authority he could get.)

 

“No dogs in the mall,” one pointed at Jaken. “Do you have a license for him?”

 

“Um…license?” Carol floundered.

 

“Tsk tsk,” said the other, “No license, eh? Bet he doesn't even have a collar.” The man shook his head. “Despite all my years on the force, I never get used to such atrocities. The things people are capable of!”

 

“Dog?” said Jaken “How dare—hmph mphmmm.” In a rare moment of lucidity, Cindy covered Jaken's mouth.

 

“We're going to have to ask you to leave, “ said the first man.

 

“We can, okay, I mean...” Carol was at a loss for words. Now, it is a curious fact that, when things begin to go awry, one's mind immediately begins to conjure up scenarios in which the situation could worsen. What's even crueler is that sometimes, these scenarios actually come to pass.

 

No sooner had Carol glanced at the prone body of Madame Zelda than a horrible thought began to form. Horrifically, no sooner had the thought formed than the nightmare started to fall into place.

 

The second cop bent down over Madame Zelda. “Hey, Joe, we got a live one. Out cold.” He prodded the fortune teller with his club.

 

The first man's eyes hardened. Carol couldn't physically see this happening, because he was the sort of man who wore sunglasses, even when indoors, but she knew somehow that it had. She felt it in her left ventricle, and the left ventricle was rarely wrong. (Unlike that lying aortic valve. Carol was still bitter about that one time…)

 

“We're gonna have to take you all in for questioning.”

 

They led the stupefied Carol through the curtains in handcuffs. They would've cuffed the others as well, but mall security had only been issued one pair.

 

Carol was just lucky like that.