InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Red Eyes, Warm Heart ❯ Can’t go back ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: SplendentGoddess 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 01.06.2006 | Updated On: 09.17.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 10.9K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 01.06.2006 | Updated On: 09.17.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 10.9K | Status: Completed
Blanket Disclaimer:
Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.
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Chapter 4 – Can’t go back
Miroku got his first good look at Kagome once he and Inuyasha returned to the girls’ position by the spring, and a part of him did have to admit that he could understand where Inuyasha’s previous angst had come from, given the amount of blemishes he could see on every visible expanse of Kagome’s skin. However, the houshi would have to be blind to miss the amount of love that was shining in the miko’s chocolate eyes as she gazed affectionately in Inuyasha’s direction.
Shifting his own gaze to Sango’s direction in that moment, the monk was momentarily caught off guard by the mirrored look of affection in the slayer’s own pools of chocolate, directed towards himself, but as quick as it’d come, the look was gone, replaced with the familiar expression of acquaintanceship he had come to expect from the taijiya.
“Kagome-chan and I have decided that it would behoove us to make camp here for the night, since sundown will be upon us before much longer.” Sango explained to the men. “We are too far from the village to return before nightfall even if we traveled at our top speed, and Shippou was promised sanctuary by the headman until our return, so I’m sure he’s all right.”
“Keh, even if somebody tried something, the runt can take care of himself well enough. He’ll be fine.”
It wasn’t what Inuyasha said, but how he said it, and it didn’t even matter what the subject was. His tone of voice was so…normal. Kagome beamed at him. Everything was definitely going to be okay, both between Inuyasha and herself, as well as between the two of them and their friends.
“Help me gather firewood, Houshi-sama?” Sango asked Miroku in that moment.
“Certainly.” he replied, going off to assist her in collecting dried sticks.
“Guess that means I should start looking for a place to build a fire pit.” Inuyasha commented to Kagome, sending a shy glance her way when nobody else was looking.
“I’ll help you.” she answered, reaching for his hand with her own and offering it a light squeeze. He squeezed back, and then set to work.
It was only a few minutes later that the stones and wood were in place, and with Kirara’s assistance, their campfire was ablaze. Inuyasha disappeared into the trees after a moment to scout the area for threats, and to burry the remains of the oni – just in case – before heading off to hunt his group something for dinner. He returned a few minutes later with two skinned and gutted rabbits gripped in his claws, and Kagome sent him an appreciative smile for having taken care of the ‘dirty’ work prior to returning. Shoving each of the rabbits onto a large spit made from green wood Sango had whittled to a point with her dagger while he was hunting, Inuyasha was just swinging his catches over the fire when he caught notice of the burning remains of green and white cloth dancing within its flame. He looked over at Kagome with a look of surprise on his face, to which she silently raised an eyebrow at him, until suddenly he nodded, a grin curving up the edges of his lips. Kagome smiled in turn and went back to helping him watch the rabbits.
“Don’t tell me you two can actually read each other’s minds now?” Miroku asked suddenly, daring to be the first to break the ice over what could theoretically be a very long and tense evening, if they allowed themselves to feel as though they couldn’t speak freely about recent events.
“Keh, not quite.” Inuyasha replied, the lack of irritation in his voice causing Miroku to lose some of the tension in his posture, though the houshi remained genuinely perplexed regarding the silent communication that had just taken place between the hanyou and miko.
Kagome, able to smell Miroku’s confusion, decided to elaborate in that moment as she explained, “We can’t really read each other’s minds, like hearing each other’s thoughts word for word in our heads, but we can sense each other’s emotions, even more powerfully than we can smell them.”
“What’s the difference?” Miroku asked.
“Keh, with anyone else, it’s literally a scent the body gives off, and nothing more. Strong emotions change the way a body smells, like fear or anger, deceit or…love. But with me ‘n’ Kagome, now it’s like…I dunno…we just know what the other person is feeling, and it goes way beyond the few strong emotions that our noses can pick up in others.”
“Wow, okay…” Miroku began after a moment. “So you two can sort of communicate without words, then, but only on an empathic level?” Inuyasha nodded. “So then what’d you two just say to each other with your feelings?”
He wasn’t trying to be nosey; he was genuinely fascinated.
“Nothin’ important,” Inuyasha began, feeling less hostile about opening up to Miroku’s questions thanks to Kagome’s influence. “I was just surprised to see her uniform burning in the fire, but her expression coupled by what I felt from her emotionally was like she was challenging me…what else should we do with the damn thing? It was ruined, after all, and it ain’t wise to hang onto bloody cloth. It’ll attract youkai. Burning it was the smartest course of action. Once her reasoning dawned on me, I nodded to let her know I understood and that I agreed with her.”
Miroku nodded his own understanding in that moment while Sango blinked in amusement over just how open and mellow Inuyasha was suddenly becoming, thanks to their miko friend’s essence within his being. She was rapidly beginning to like this new and improved Inuyasha. The old him would’ve just told Miroku to shove it, that it ‘ain’t none of his business’ and that would’ve been the end of it. Granted, it was a little odd to openly discuss their new abilities as mates as if the two of them had simply up and decided to confess their feelings and bond together, like a human couple eloping, but Kagome had made it explicitly clear that she did not view what had happened to herself as an attack. If the miko could look back on recent events with a positive attitude, then so could she, Sango decided then, graciously accepting the rabbit meat Inuyasha passed her way once it was ready.
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Before settling down for the night, Inuyasha did one last sweep through of the area to make sure there was still no sign of anything threatening. While he realized that he never would’ve been so willing to fall asleep (or mate) in his full-youkai form had there been any potential threats in the area, things could change very quickly when it came to the proximity of a troublesome youkai. Though he also knew that Kirara would sense it as well, should danger suddenly emerge from somewhere, not to mention Kagome’s brand new youkai senses. Deciding that their chosen area for the night was still safe, then, Inuyasha returned to camp to find Sango and Miroku already turned in, the duo used to sleeping on the ground without any form of bedding. Kagome, on the other hand, was probably missing her sleeping bag, her supplies having been left behind with Shippou in the village while they’d taken to the woods to fight the oni.
Still sitting up and gazing into the dancing flames, Kagome glanced Inuyasha’s way with a welcoming smile as she caught sight of him reentering camp, her advanced night vision enabling her to easily catch a glimpse of him in the shadows before he approached their fire. Offering her a hesitant smile in return, Inuyasha stared her way for a moment, transfixed; sensing the awe in him, Kagome remained silent, allowing him this moment to finally get his head wrapped around everything that had happened.
She was his mate. He had a mate. A mate who loved and accepted him for who, and what he was. These were his friends. He had friends. Friends who both loved and accepted him for who and what he was. And these two weren’t his only friends, either. Even little Shippou, as annoying as he could sometimes be, had professed to not having a problem with his mixed blood. He was sure the kitsune would accept him being mated to Kagome; the kit had actually teased him about not acting on his feelings in the past, in secret of course. And then of course there was also Kirara, who was currently curled up in her kitten form near Sango’s feet. Humans and youkai who all accepted him? He never would’ve thought that it could be possible, but here they were. Even back at the village, elderly Kaede didn’t really have a problem with him, either, and she had been raised a miko! The other villagers also accepted him, primarily thanks to Kaede’s influence he was sure, as everyone learned that the fifty-year-old tale of him having turned against their beloved Kikyou was a lie.
One of the things that used to worry him in the back of his head, when he had thought about how to go about approaching Kagome regarding his feelings after the completion of their mission, had been how to provide for her should they find themselves abandoned by the villagers. Would she really be willing to live with him out in the wild, in the middle of nowhere with no place to call their own? But now he knew that if she decided to call his century her home, they would be welcomed as a couple in Kaede’s village. He could feel it. He also knew that if she didn’t want to abandon the world she’d always known, he wouldn’t fight her on it. He would give it all up to live with her in her century, if that was what she wanted in the end. They were mates now, so they belonged together, no matter which side of the well they were on, and since all he really wanted in his life was Kagome, he would leave that final decision in her hands. He knew that if she picked her world, her family would accept him with open arms. Her mother always looked at him with a funny glint in her eyes, as if she’d known all alone that he was in love with her daughter. Souta idolized him, and would probably flip out – in a good way – as soon as he learned that he really was his Inu-no-nii-chan. Her grandfather might throw a few ofuda at him, but he wasn’t too worried about it since he knew the old man didn’t have any spiritual powers, and with the majority rule, he would be welcomed in Kagome’s home even if it took her grandfather some time and a few dozen moved storage boxes to get used to the idea.
At that thought, it suddenly dawned on the hanyou that the fact that his half-brother and only living relative hated him didn’t really bother him all that much any more, because now, he had a whole new family; on either side of the well. Thinking back, he recalled the words Kagome had said to him earlier that evening, when she had been forced to use the subjugation beads to prevent him from running away. He’d never more thankful for the beads than he had been in that moment.
~Flashback~
Embracing her tightly, Inuyasha refused to let go for a moment, as more tears traveled silently down his cheeks, tears that Kagome could smell thanks to her advanced senses.
“Shhhh…” he heard her sooth, as she began gently rocking him back and forth. “It’s all right,” she assured him. “Please, stop crying.”
“W-why…?” he asked after a moment, his voice muffled as he buried his face in her shoulder, unconsciously seeking the comfort of inhaling the scent of her mark. It smelled of him, and symbolized her acceptance of him.
“Because I hate to see you like this. You’re usually so strong and-”
“I don’t mean why stop the cryin’…” he mumbled, interrupting her.
Putting on his best brave face with his pride as thoroughly destroyed as it was at the moment, Inuyasha pulled back from her shoulder to meet her eyes, as they remained sitting on the ground side-by-side. He knew he could blame his emotional breakdown on being unused to feeling as many emotions as he was now thanks to their bond, but the last thing he wanted to do at that moment was try to make anything that had to do this with incident her fault.
“Then ‘why’ what?” Kagome asked patiently, reaching up with her hand to brush the backs of her fingers down against his cheek, ridding his face of lingering moisture.
“Why do you forgive me?” he asked with a shaky voice, his eyes pleading as he gently reached up with his right hand to clasp her own against his cheek. He really didn’t understand, and he really wanted to know.
“Because I love you.” she answered immediately, which made him flinch as his ears lowered a bit, his hand dropping away. It wasn’t that he doubted her sincerity or didn’t want to hear the words, but her stating that she forgave him because she loved him only went to prove that there was something she needed to forgive him for, and that there was truly no valid reason for him to deserve her forgiveness outside of her voluntarily giving it because of her feelings for him.
Kagome, immediately sensing the way he’d taken her words via his rapidly changing emotions, reached forward with both hands in that moment to cup his cheeks, turning his face to meet her own when he attempted to avoid her gaze. Unable to turn his head away, he closed his eyes.
“Look at me.” she insisted with a calm yet steady voice, frowning when he flinched without obeying her command.
“Inuyasha, please look at me.”
Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, gazing deeply into her coffee orbs. He had to keep his eyes focused solely on her own, otherwise his gaze would stray to the lingering ‘love bites’ around her mouth and chin, not to mention those deep gouges on her shoulders, and his suikan couldn’t conceal from his memory what he had already seen lied underneath…
“Inuyasha.”
Snapping his attention back to Kagome’s eyes once more, focusing solely on the sound of her voice, he was listening to her words, truly listening, when she told him, “I know you don’t remember what happened between us, but know that it was not as bad as I’m sure you’re imagining. I’m not going to lie to you, there’s really no point with all of my scratches, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it, but this is the truth: I didn’t fight you, and I didn’t want to fight you. You didn’t force me, you were just…overly excited and not very careful with your claws. I have loved you for a long time, and I have wanted to be with you. The instant I realized you wanted to mate, I knew in my heart that I would comply, and when you bit into your arm and offered me the blood bond, I knew what it was, what it meant, and I took your gift and drank of you willingly.”
“Kagome…” he sighed, closing his eyes again as she continued to hold his face with both hands on his cheeks.
Maybe it was true, maybe she hadn’t wanted to fight him off. After all, if she had wanted to fight him off, she surely could have done so with the power of the kotodama. Under normal circumstances, no human would ever stand a chance against him in his full youkai state, or even in his hanyou state, for that matter, but since Kagome was a miko, she had the power of the subduing beads at her beck and call, not to mention she could probably zap him one if push came to shove. Suddenly, that thought had something Myouga had warned him about popping back into the forefront of his mind, something he couldn’t believe he had forgotten all about until that moment.
“Oh kami…what if…what if bonding with me spoiled your miko powers?” he asked her faintly, searching her eyes with his own.
Surprised, Kagome pulled back slightly, releasing her hold on his face as she shifted her sitting position to reach her left sock, where she revealed, to Inuyasha’s relief, that she had tucked away her bottle of jewel shards. He had sensed in the back of his mind that she still had them on her, but hadn’t truly thought to ask, not that it would’ve been wise to ask about the shards even if he had thought about it, lest she get the misguided impression that he was more worried about those stupid crystals than her. But to see them sparkling prettily in that moment, as she held up the tiny bottle for his inspection, he realized that no trace of taint was present in their aura, meaning that no trace of taint was present in Kagome’s aura, either.
“My miko powers are unaffected, because it is the purity of the heart that matters.” Kagome explained to him as she tucked the bottle back inside her sock.
“I love you,” she continued then. “And I know you love me too, even if you never say the words; I can sense it. Being with you like that…it wasn’t filthy, and it didn’t tarnish me, no matter what society might think. The proof is in the pudding, as a saying from my time goes, the ‘pudding’ in this case being the jewel shards. And as for having your blood within my system, becoming part youkai in a way… How can me being part youkai automatically make me tainted when you, who are half youkai, are one of the purist souls I’ve ever met? Besides, you wouldn’t have initiated the mating bond if your youkai side had only wanted to rut. Your youkai side chose me, as its mate, a symbol of devotion more pure than anything a human couple could ever hope to duplicate, and that knowledge has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I do hope your human side feels the same way, since we’re mates now no matter what, but just know that I do not feel stuck or trapped with you. I’m happy to be your mate.”
He sighed again as she finished her little speech, unable to say anything himself for a moment or two. Instead, he just sat there, unfocused eyes blinking back a second onslaught of tears. He managed to keep them at bay.
“My human side…” he started after a moment, immediately earning her full attention, “…it feels the same way, Kagome.” he told her then, his eyes focusing on her own once more. “I know what you’re thinking, what you didn’t say…you don’t know if maybe I only wanted you with my youkai half, and if my human half only loves Kikyou.”
She flinched a little at the sound of her preincarnation’s name, and suddenly, it was Inuyasha who had his hand on Kagome’s cheek, gently getting her to meet his gaze once more. The significance of him being willing to touch her, even in that small way, was not lost on either of them.
“I do still have some feelings for Kikyou, but I…I know, I have known, that there is no future for us. All I truly want for her is for her soul to find peace. I know I hadn’t said anything to you about it, but I…chose you, Kagome…quite a while ago. It was my intention to approach you after we killed Naraku, when our lives weren’t as dangerous as they are now. I can’t say I don’t regret what happened. Kami, I’ll regret attacking you like that for the rest of my life. But…but I’m not upset about us being bonded now. At least not now that I know you aren’t upset about it. I was afraid you’d flip out completely, but you really meant what you said, I can tell, that you don’t feel trapped. I…I don’t feel trapped, either. I…love you, with both sides of my heart.”
“Oh, Inuyasha…” Kagome cooed, leaning forward before allowing herself enough time to think about what she was doing.
Inuyasha was surprised when he felt her lips touch his, but only for a moment. Already she had kissed him in the inu fashion, so it only seemed fair that she would want a human kiss as well. Closing his eyes again, though this time it was not out of shame, Inuyasha hesitantly yet bravely wrapped his hands up and behind Kagome’s head and neck, holding her to him as he dared deepen the kiss. He was still feeling incredibly low with himself, but if anybody could help him overcome those feelings, it would be the wonderful woman he currently held in his arms. His Kagome. His mate. He hated being unable to remember the specifics of what had transpired between them. Perhaps, if Kagome felt up to briefing him on the details, then he could force himself to listen. Maybe it really wasn’t as bad as his imagination was telling him.
Pulling back from the kiss after a moment, Inuyasha sought Kagome’s eyes with his own, and he was just about to voice his question when his ears suddenly turned, honing in on a sound too far in the distance for Kagome’s hearing to pick up yet. Her senses were more advanced than they used to be, but they still weren’t on the same level as his. However, she didn’t need her hearing to realize what her hanyou mate had detected, if the way his entire posture had suddenly stiffened was any indication. Were a predator in the area, he would’ve jumped to his feet by now, shoving her behind him as he prepared to fight, so that meant the sudden spike of nervousness in his scent was for a reason other than predators.
“Miroku-sama and Sango-chan?” Kagome asked simply, to which he replied with “Come on.” as he practically yanked her to her feet.
As quickly as they had disappeared, his feelings of disgust and self-loathing were back with a vengeance, especially when he glanced down with a grimace to be reminded of the blood still staining his claws. Glancing down at his hands, herself, Kagome couldn’t help the spike of sympathy she felt for him in understanding. Not that she truly shared his fear that their friends would think him a monster, but she could certainly understand why a man of his upbringing – or lack thereof – would assume the worst, given the circumstances.
Heading back over to the spring, Kagome climbed upon the same bolder she’d previously sat his suikan on while she’d bathed, watching him as he squatted at the water’s edge to rinse up. His ears flattened to his head as they each heard Sango’s startled cry from the clearing where they’d… Yeah, their friends had probably already figured out what had happened, Kagome realized with a grimace, knowing her shredding clothing would be a dead giveaway. They would be there any minute now, already the miko could hear them approaching through the trees, and for the second time since becoming Inuyasha’s mate, she knew she had her work cut out for her.
~End Flashback~
Slowly, Inuyasha closed the distance between himself and Kagome, as she continued to offer him a gentle smile, observing as he silently approached her position by their campfire. Sitting himself down next to her on her left, he didn’t hesitate before looping his right arm around her, pulling her against his side. Kagome responded to the unexpected but welcomed embrace by snuggling herself fully against him, tilting her head sideways to rest against his shoulder. In turn, he tilted his own head to rest atop of hers, rubbing his right hand up and down her arm affectionately.
With the steady breathing of their sleeping companions offering a reminder that the pair was not alone, Kagome made sure to keep her whisper at a level quiet enough so that only the hanyou she was leaning against would hear her.
“Inuyasha?” she voiced, not really needing to ask anything beyond that, the emotions he could feel from her through their bond making her meaning clear. She wanted to know if he was okay, if they were okay, and she was offering an ear if he needed to talk.
“We can’t go back, Kagome.” he whispered suddenly, his voice also just barely loud enough for her to hear so as not to risk disturbing the others. Fortunately, with her newly advanced hearing, he could be much quieter than he would’ve needed to be in the past.
“Go back?” she asked for clarification.
“To the way things were.” he elaborated. “We can’t go back to the way things were.”
She nodded against him then. “I don’t want to.”
“Good.” he stated, the love he felt for her washing over her through their connection, as his self-doubt and loathing melted away bit by bit. “Neither do I.”
She could tell he meant it.
Sighing in contentment, Kagome snuggled herself even further into his side, and the pair stayed like that for several minutes until Inuyasha’s near silent whisper of “You should get some sleep.” caught her attention. As he started to pull himself back from their embrace, unwinding his arm from around her side, Kagome made an unexpected grab for the retreating appendage with her left hand, snatching his wrist and dragging his right arm back up and around her, hooking it over her neck. He chuckled a little despite himself at her tenacity, but all trace of amusement was gone when, thanks to his sleeve getting pushed back slightly during the move, the mate mark on his arm suddenly and unexpectedly came into direct contact with the mate mark on her throat.
In an instant, it was as if Kagome and Inuyasha were one, and both the miko and hanyou were experiencing equal levels of shock to suddenly find themselves so in tune with their partner. Her mark burned at the contact, but not in an unpleasant way. Unbidden, Kagome found herself remembering a brief flashback of the moment he had given her the mark to begin with, and her thoughts once she’d realized what the bite mark was, when he had offered her his arm to mark in return. Sango had told her that the sharing of blood and youki bonded demonic mates together in ways that most humans couldn’t comprehend, but she had thought that they’d already experienced the peak of closeness their bond would give them with the sensing of each other’s emotions, so this whole ‘oneness’ thing was something entirely unexpected. It took Kagome less than a second to realize that Inuyasha was privy to her thoughts themselves in that moment as she felt his thoughts in return, as she experienced his shock at her memories, ripping his arm away from her, severing the link as though it had burned him. In truth, he had just been caught off guard.
Immediately, she pulled back to look at him, her eyes wide in disbelief, as if waiting for him to explain to her what the hell had just happened. The confusion she could feel in him told her that he didn’t have an explanation, either, while the anxiety in his scent revealed that he wouldn’t be content leaving the matter a mystery. Then wordlessly, he stood to his feet, yanking her up with him with enough force that it could have potentially hurt her prior to their bonding, though in that instant Kagome was only off kilter as she struggled to find her balance. Not that that effort did her any good when in the next instant, Kagome found herself gazing at the scenery zipping by her at a dizzying pace, realizing that she was now held firmly in Inuyasha’s arms as he took off with her deeper into the forest.
Once they were securely out of hearing range for their friends left back at camp, Inuyasha searched out a small clearing that seemed void of demonic activity. Depositing Kagome on her feet, the inu-hanyou took a quick moment to circle the surrounding woods – just to be sure the area he’d found for them was truly secure – before returning to his mate. His mark had started itching him more and more severely since severing contact with Kagome’s, so in that moment Inuyasha finally began scratching the itch, which in turn caused Kagome’s mark to tingle, as the young miko reached up to rub at her own mark in return. It didn’t take either of them long at all to realize that as they both rubbed their marks at the same time, it sent calming waves of peace throughout each of their bodies, like being wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket of contentment. Soon, Inuyasha’s anxiety was gone, though his confusion and curiosity remained, as he stopped rubbing at his mark to meet Kagome’s gaze.
“What the hell was that?” he asked finally, his tone more befuddled than accusative.
“I have no idea…” Kagome confessed as she ceased messing with her own mark in return, furrowing her brow as she truly thought about it. “It was like…it was like we were in each other’s heads. You didn’t know that could happen?”
Shaking his head in the negative, Inuyasha silently swore to get Myouga back for failing to mention that very important tidbit of information. When he had first decided he’d wanted to eventually approach Kagome to be his mate, he had swallowed his pride to secretly question his retainer on anything he might need to know. His instincts automatically took care of how to go about completing the blood bond itself, but he hadn’t wanted any surprises. In his book, something like this definitely qualified!
“What was it I saw?” he asked her then, figuring he could maim Myouga later. Right now, there were more important issues he wanted to address. “Were those your memories?”
Kagome blushed a little at the reminder of what she’d started thinking of while their minds had been joined together, but then the proverbial light bulb went off over her head. The look in Inuyasha’s eyes confirmed for her that he’d already thought of the same thing.
“Yes…” she answered him then. “The light burning through my mark when we touched, it…it reminded me of the sensation of when you first bit me, so I started thinking about that, then how I drank your blood in return.”
Nodding, Inuyasha confirmed for Kagome that he truly had relived those memories with her, by adding the one element she left off.
“Plus you were thinking of everything Sango had explained to you once when you’d told her of your feelings for me, and she’d explained youkai mating bonds to you.”
Kagome nodded, her eyes wide, though he didn’t seem upset at that revelation. She had spoken with Sango in secret, yes, but only because she had loved him so, and now Kagome knew that Inuyasha had been harboring secrets of his own, that being of how he had already chosen her, and had been planning on proposing, in the youkai fashion, once their mission was completed. Was keeping a secret born of love really all that bad?
In that moment, Inuyasha couldn’t care less that the slayer had informed Kagome of the things that most humans didn’t know, things that most youkai wanted to keep to themselves. He would’ve had to have explained everything to her eventually, anyway, and if he actually had bonded with her without her knowledge or comprehension, as he had temporarily feared, well…Inuyasha was just grateful that he didn’t even have to worry about contemplating that possibility. The fact that the taijiya had informed Kagome a few months back about the existence of blood bonds…he now had zero doubt that Kagome truly had drank of him willingly and with full understanding. How could he doubt the validity of the miko’s own memories? He had just witnessed the act for himself, after all, through her perspective.
“I want to do that again,” he spoke up suddenly. “Touch our marks together.”
“Are you sure?”
“If I can remember through your eyes what happened, hell yes.” he answered, before getting a little nervous at the way she bit her bottom lip. “Something you don’t want me to see?”
“No…” Kagome replied, shaking her worries free. So what if he would be able to hear her thoughts during the flashback? Then he would only see for himself how much she truly loved him.
“I’m ready, let’s do this thing.” she stated then, pulling her hair to the side.
Nodding with conviction, Inuyasha approached where Kagome stood, circling behind her. He had no idea what to expect, so gently wrapping his arms around Kagome’s sides, he encouraged her to lean back against him, as he sat down, bringing her with him to sit in his lap, as he held her back flush against his stomach with his left hand on her belly. She grabbed his right arm and rolled up his sleeve before tilting her head, baring her throat to him. Clearing his own throat, Inuyasha nervously and anxiously touched his mark to hers.
Like some kind of out-of-body experience, Inuyasha instantly found himself observing himself, as Kagome figured she should take him back to the very beginning. The vision began with him crouched at the water’s edge, washing the oni’s blood from his hands. Suddenly, as the echo of his youkai-self turned at the sound of Kagome’s approach in their minds, Inuyasha could swear he saw a reflection of her startled face from that same moment in time, and it quickly dawned on each of them that experiencing the memories from Kagome’s perspective was somehow simultaneously unlocking the seal over Inuyasha’s own memories. Together, with each other and as each other, they remembered. He heard Kagome’s voice, as she tried to tell his youkai side that the danger was gone. In their heads, Kagome now heard the echo of what had been Inuyasha’s thoughts at that time, as simplistic as they had become. As he bit into her shoulder, hanyou-Inuyasha flinched during the memory, tasting her blood in his mouth. But he was also calmed by Kagome’s thoughts, as she’d realized even then that he wasn’t attacking her, though her lack of understanding what was really going on worried him slightly. Still, he couldn’t help but feel aroused as the memory of Kagome’s own arousal washed over him, surprised to realize that she had actually been so turned on by his harsh actions, even as he remembered the sensation of trailing his tongue all over her body, the taste of blood in his mouth no longer disturbing him. Then, just as he had experienced a few minutes prior back at camp, the memory of the moment she drank of his own blood did assure him that she had realized by that point just how important her own bite mark was, and that by completing their bond they would be together forever.
Inuyasha and Kagome were both shocked to remember his youkai side’s memories of that moment, realizing that he wouldn’t have forced her had she resisted him, but the miko in his arms felt no regrets as that realization washed over her, instead using that truth as ammunition in her fight to convince her mate that he wasn’t a monster, and to prove to him that she truly hadn’t resisted him. Inuyasha suddenly found himself engulfed in a tidal wave of emotions, as he relived the girl’s eagerness to rid him of his own clothing, and her nervousness and self-consciousness upon seeing his body naked and aroused. He remembered lowering her to the grass, and he felt her surprise when he didn’t enter her right away. As he kissed her, Kagome felt Inuyasha’s surprise in that moment himself, as he relived the memory, explaining to her through their bond that inu-youkai did not kiss like humans, and that that kiss had to have come from his human side.
Inuyasha felt less disgusted regarding the ‘love bites’ he had scattered over her upon remembering that she hadn’t minded them at the time, and that she had bitten him repeatedly as well. As she went for his throat and he gave her his arm again, Inuyasha knew from his talks with Myouga that the more times during the mating process each partner drank from the other, the closer the bond would become. Typically, male and female youkai would each bite each other on the neck, but because Kagome’s teeth could never be strong enough to break his skin, it was acceptable for him to bite himself first. Once she began drinking of him, she had gained his strengths and abilities, and another part of the bond that had gone unnoticed to the pair at that time, his youki wrapping around them both, had finalized the union, assuring that the bite marks would not simply remain bite marks, but would become the symbols of their union.
Inuyasha lost his wandering thoughts when he relived the memory of trailing his tongue down her body, and he could almost feel the girl in his arms blush as they each remembered the sensation, from each of their perspectives, of his face between her legs. Inuyasha grew hard as he remembered the taste of her, experiencing through their bond all the pleasure he had made Kagome feel. The sound of her calling out his name in completion echoed loudly throughout their heads, and he smirked despite himself, though his smugness was quick to fade when he sensed the memory of her previous doubts, realizing that only in that moment as he said her name in return did she know it truly had been her that he had chosen. That revelation shocked Inuyasha in that moment. She had been willing to comply with becoming his mate even as she’d wondered whether or not he had known it was her or Kikyou? He knew she’d had some lingering doubts as to whether or not his human side had wanted Kikyou and that it’d only been thanks to his transformation that he’d approached her, but she had actually possessed a speck of doubt as to whether or not his youkai side had known who she was? Kagome tried to sooth her mate in that moment, but he didn’t have long to feel hurt as he next relived the memory of gripping her shoulders with his claws, paying no attention to the way he damaged her still very delicate human flesh. Just because she would heal faster didn’t mean she was that much harder to injure in the first place. Then once he got her on her hands and knees, he plunged forward, heedless of how it would hurt her. Pain he felt rip through his own body as he relived the memory from her perspective, even as he felt his youkai side’s remorse when she spoke in inu that he had hurt her and he whimpered an apology. Still, despite Kagome’s pain, Inuyasha had also felt the tremendous amount of pleasure that had washed over him at their joining, pleasure Kagome was now able to experience as well thanks to awakening and sharing of his memories of the act. By that point it didn’t even surprise Inuyasha that he had stilled all movement until receiving the signal from her that it was okay to proceed, as he let her drink of him one final time, making their bond truly strong. He really hadn’t meant to hurt her, after all. Just as she had been attempting to convince him all day long. He grimaced when he felt the sensation of his claws piercing her hips, though he saw in both of their memories that neither of them had even realized he’d done so at that moment in time.
Inuyasha nearly lost it when he felt his climax rush through him, surprised he didn’t stain his pants as he remembered the intensity of his member pulsing within her, the knot that had formed at the base of his shaft swelling to tie them together like a pair of dogs. He was embarrassed to remember that they had been locked together, not having really given such a detail much thought before reliving the sensation, though he was relieved to note that Kagome hadn’t been bothered by it at the time, nor was she bothered by it now. Inuyasha was surprised when the memory of Kagome’s thoughts from that moment filtered through their link, as the girl had contemplated her mother having put her on something called ‘birth control’, but as Kagome felt his confusion and elaborated within her thoughts, showing him a brief memory of her previous conversation with her mother, the hanyou sitting behind her relaxed tremendously to realize that he didn’t have to worry about her getting pregnant while they still had to finish their mission.
Finally pulling his arm away from her neck after reliving the memory of settling them both down on their sides to fall asleep spooned and still connected together, Inuyasha remained silent for a while, letting his thoughts catch up with him. He still remembered everything he had experienced. He remembered everything from his own perspective, as if the memories had never been kept from him in the first place, but he also still remembered experiencing everything from Kagome’s point of view, thanks to their bond. He was certain she still possessed his memories as well. Taking a deep breath, he wasn’t surprised to find the heavy scent of Kagome’s arousal in the air. He was sure she could feel his arousal pressing up against her bottom, as she continued to sit in his lap.
After another moment of silence, Kagome was finally the one to break the spell first, moving away from him, crawling out of his lap so that she could turn to face him, sitting on her knees.
He gulped at the intensity of her gaze, her lust unmistakable through their bond, as he could still feel her emotions, even if he could no longer hear her thoughts.
“Kagome…?” he voiced hesitantly, unsure where his sudden nervousness was coming from.
She didn’t respond, at least not with words. Sitting across from him and staring at him hungrily, the scent of her arousal perfuming the air, Kagome reached for the tie of his suikan, pulling slowly. Inuyasha’s eyes widened as she unwrapped herself, her gaze never leaving his own as she tossed his fire-rat robe to the forest floor, kneeling before him naked.
Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.
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Chapter 4 – Can’t go back
Miroku got his first good look at Kagome once he and Inuyasha returned to the girls’ position by the spring, and a part of him did have to admit that he could understand where Inuyasha’s previous angst had come from, given the amount of blemishes he could see on every visible expanse of Kagome’s skin. However, the houshi would have to be blind to miss the amount of love that was shining in the miko’s chocolate eyes as she gazed affectionately in Inuyasha’s direction.
Shifting his own gaze to Sango’s direction in that moment, the monk was momentarily caught off guard by the mirrored look of affection in the slayer’s own pools of chocolate, directed towards himself, but as quick as it’d come, the look was gone, replaced with the familiar expression of acquaintanceship he had come to expect from the taijiya.
“Kagome-chan and I have decided that it would behoove us to make camp here for the night, since sundown will be upon us before much longer.” Sango explained to the men. “We are too far from the village to return before nightfall even if we traveled at our top speed, and Shippou was promised sanctuary by the headman until our return, so I’m sure he’s all right.”
“Keh, even if somebody tried something, the runt can take care of himself well enough. He’ll be fine.”
It wasn’t what Inuyasha said, but how he said it, and it didn’t even matter what the subject was. His tone of voice was so…normal. Kagome beamed at him. Everything was definitely going to be okay, both between Inuyasha and herself, as well as between the two of them and their friends.
“Help me gather firewood, Houshi-sama?” Sango asked Miroku in that moment.
“Certainly.” he replied, going off to assist her in collecting dried sticks.
“Guess that means I should start looking for a place to build a fire pit.” Inuyasha commented to Kagome, sending a shy glance her way when nobody else was looking.
“I’ll help you.” she answered, reaching for his hand with her own and offering it a light squeeze. He squeezed back, and then set to work.
It was only a few minutes later that the stones and wood were in place, and with Kirara’s assistance, their campfire was ablaze. Inuyasha disappeared into the trees after a moment to scout the area for threats, and to burry the remains of the oni – just in case – before heading off to hunt his group something for dinner. He returned a few minutes later with two skinned and gutted rabbits gripped in his claws, and Kagome sent him an appreciative smile for having taken care of the ‘dirty’ work prior to returning. Shoving each of the rabbits onto a large spit made from green wood Sango had whittled to a point with her dagger while he was hunting, Inuyasha was just swinging his catches over the fire when he caught notice of the burning remains of green and white cloth dancing within its flame. He looked over at Kagome with a look of surprise on his face, to which she silently raised an eyebrow at him, until suddenly he nodded, a grin curving up the edges of his lips. Kagome smiled in turn and went back to helping him watch the rabbits.
“Don’t tell me you two can actually read each other’s minds now?” Miroku asked suddenly, daring to be the first to break the ice over what could theoretically be a very long and tense evening, if they allowed themselves to feel as though they couldn’t speak freely about recent events.
“Keh, not quite.” Inuyasha replied, the lack of irritation in his voice causing Miroku to lose some of the tension in his posture, though the houshi remained genuinely perplexed regarding the silent communication that had just taken place between the hanyou and miko.
Kagome, able to smell Miroku’s confusion, decided to elaborate in that moment as she explained, “We can’t really read each other’s minds, like hearing each other’s thoughts word for word in our heads, but we can sense each other’s emotions, even more powerfully than we can smell them.”
“What’s the difference?” Miroku asked.
“Keh, with anyone else, it’s literally a scent the body gives off, and nothing more. Strong emotions change the way a body smells, like fear or anger, deceit or…love. But with me ‘n’ Kagome, now it’s like…I dunno…we just know what the other person is feeling, and it goes way beyond the few strong emotions that our noses can pick up in others.”
“Wow, okay…” Miroku began after a moment. “So you two can sort of communicate without words, then, but only on an empathic level?” Inuyasha nodded. “So then what’d you two just say to each other with your feelings?”
He wasn’t trying to be nosey; he was genuinely fascinated.
“Nothin’ important,” Inuyasha began, feeling less hostile about opening up to Miroku’s questions thanks to Kagome’s influence. “I was just surprised to see her uniform burning in the fire, but her expression coupled by what I felt from her emotionally was like she was challenging me…what else should we do with the damn thing? It was ruined, after all, and it ain’t wise to hang onto bloody cloth. It’ll attract youkai. Burning it was the smartest course of action. Once her reasoning dawned on me, I nodded to let her know I understood and that I agreed with her.”
Miroku nodded his own understanding in that moment while Sango blinked in amusement over just how open and mellow Inuyasha was suddenly becoming, thanks to their miko friend’s essence within his being. She was rapidly beginning to like this new and improved Inuyasha. The old him would’ve just told Miroku to shove it, that it ‘ain’t none of his business’ and that would’ve been the end of it. Granted, it was a little odd to openly discuss their new abilities as mates as if the two of them had simply up and decided to confess their feelings and bond together, like a human couple eloping, but Kagome had made it explicitly clear that she did not view what had happened to herself as an attack. If the miko could look back on recent events with a positive attitude, then so could she, Sango decided then, graciously accepting the rabbit meat Inuyasha passed her way once it was ready.
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Before settling down for the night, Inuyasha did one last sweep through of the area to make sure there was still no sign of anything threatening. While he realized that he never would’ve been so willing to fall asleep (or mate) in his full-youkai form had there been any potential threats in the area, things could change very quickly when it came to the proximity of a troublesome youkai. Though he also knew that Kirara would sense it as well, should danger suddenly emerge from somewhere, not to mention Kagome’s brand new youkai senses. Deciding that their chosen area for the night was still safe, then, Inuyasha returned to camp to find Sango and Miroku already turned in, the duo used to sleeping on the ground without any form of bedding. Kagome, on the other hand, was probably missing her sleeping bag, her supplies having been left behind with Shippou in the village while they’d taken to the woods to fight the oni.
Still sitting up and gazing into the dancing flames, Kagome glanced Inuyasha’s way with a welcoming smile as she caught sight of him reentering camp, her advanced night vision enabling her to easily catch a glimpse of him in the shadows before he approached their fire. Offering her a hesitant smile in return, Inuyasha stared her way for a moment, transfixed; sensing the awe in him, Kagome remained silent, allowing him this moment to finally get his head wrapped around everything that had happened.
She was his mate. He had a mate. A mate who loved and accepted him for who, and what he was. These were his friends. He had friends. Friends who both loved and accepted him for who and what he was. And these two weren’t his only friends, either. Even little Shippou, as annoying as he could sometimes be, had professed to not having a problem with his mixed blood. He was sure the kitsune would accept him being mated to Kagome; the kit had actually teased him about not acting on his feelings in the past, in secret of course. And then of course there was also Kirara, who was currently curled up in her kitten form near Sango’s feet. Humans and youkai who all accepted him? He never would’ve thought that it could be possible, but here they were. Even back at the village, elderly Kaede didn’t really have a problem with him, either, and she had been raised a miko! The other villagers also accepted him, primarily thanks to Kaede’s influence he was sure, as everyone learned that the fifty-year-old tale of him having turned against their beloved Kikyou was a lie.
One of the things that used to worry him in the back of his head, when he had thought about how to go about approaching Kagome regarding his feelings after the completion of their mission, had been how to provide for her should they find themselves abandoned by the villagers. Would she really be willing to live with him out in the wild, in the middle of nowhere with no place to call their own? But now he knew that if she decided to call his century her home, they would be welcomed as a couple in Kaede’s village. He could feel it. He also knew that if she didn’t want to abandon the world she’d always known, he wouldn’t fight her on it. He would give it all up to live with her in her century, if that was what she wanted in the end. They were mates now, so they belonged together, no matter which side of the well they were on, and since all he really wanted in his life was Kagome, he would leave that final decision in her hands. He knew that if she picked her world, her family would accept him with open arms. Her mother always looked at him with a funny glint in her eyes, as if she’d known all alone that he was in love with her daughter. Souta idolized him, and would probably flip out – in a good way – as soon as he learned that he really was his Inu-no-nii-chan. Her grandfather might throw a few ofuda at him, but he wasn’t too worried about it since he knew the old man didn’t have any spiritual powers, and with the majority rule, he would be welcomed in Kagome’s home even if it took her grandfather some time and a few dozen moved storage boxes to get used to the idea.
At that thought, it suddenly dawned on the hanyou that the fact that his half-brother and only living relative hated him didn’t really bother him all that much any more, because now, he had a whole new family; on either side of the well. Thinking back, he recalled the words Kagome had said to him earlier that evening, when she had been forced to use the subjugation beads to prevent him from running away. He’d never more thankful for the beads than he had been in that moment.
~Flashback~
Embracing her tightly, Inuyasha refused to let go for a moment, as more tears traveled silently down his cheeks, tears that Kagome could smell thanks to her advanced senses.
“Shhhh…” he heard her sooth, as she began gently rocking him back and forth. “It’s all right,” she assured him. “Please, stop crying.”
“W-why…?” he asked after a moment, his voice muffled as he buried his face in her shoulder, unconsciously seeking the comfort of inhaling the scent of her mark. It smelled of him, and symbolized her acceptance of him.
“Because I hate to see you like this. You’re usually so strong and-”
“I don’t mean why stop the cryin’…” he mumbled, interrupting her.
Putting on his best brave face with his pride as thoroughly destroyed as it was at the moment, Inuyasha pulled back from her shoulder to meet her eyes, as they remained sitting on the ground side-by-side. He knew he could blame his emotional breakdown on being unused to feeling as many emotions as he was now thanks to their bond, but the last thing he wanted to do at that moment was try to make anything that had to do this with incident her fault.
“Then ‘why’ what?” Kagome asked patiently, reaching up with her hand to brush the backs of her fingers down against his cheek, ridding his face of lingering moisture.
“Why do you forgive me?” he asked with a shaky voice, his eyes pleading as he gently reached up with his right hand to clasp her own against his cheek. He really didn’t understand, and he really wanted to know.
“Because I love you.” she answered immediately, which made him flinch as his ears lowered a bit, his hand dropping away. It wasn’t that he doubted her sincerity or didn’t want to hear the words, but her stating that she forgave him because she loved him only went to prove that there was something she needed to forgive him for, and that there was truly no valid reason for him to deserve her forgiveness outside of her voluntarily giving it because of her feelings for him.
Kagome, immediately sensing the way he’d taken her words via his rapidly changing emotions, reached forward with both hands in that moment to cup his cheeks, turning his face to meet her own when he attempted to avoid her gaze. Unable to turn his head away, he closed his eyes.
“Look at me.” she insisted with a calm yet steady voice, frowning when he flinched without obeying her command.
“Inuyasha, please look at me.”
Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, gazing deeply into her coffee orbs. He had to keep his eyes focused solely on her own, otherwise his gaze would stray to the lingering ‘love bites’ around her mouth and chin, not to mention those deep gouges on her shoulders, and his suikan couldn’t conceal from his memory what he had already seen lied underneath…
“Inuyasha.”
Snapping his attention back to Kagome’s eyes once more, focusing solely on the sound of her voice, he was listening to her words, truly listening, when she told him, “I know you don’t remember what happened between us, but know that it was not as bad as I’m sure you’re imagining. I’m not going to lie to you, there’s really no point with all of my scratches, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it, but this is the truth: I didn’t fight you, and I didn’t want to fight you. You didn’t force me, you were just…overly excited and not very careful with your claws. I have loved you for a long time, and I have wanted to be with you. The instant I realized you wanted to mate, I knew in my heart that I would comply, and when you bit into your arm and offered me the blood bond, I knew what it was, what it meant, and I took your gift and drank of you willingly.”
“Kagome…” he sighed, closing his eyes again as she continued to hold his face with both hands on his cheeks.
Maybe it was true, maybe she hadn’t wanted to fight him off. After all, if she had wanted to fight him off, she surely could have done so with the power of the kotodama. Under normal circumstances, no human would ever stand a chance against him in his full youkai state, or even in his hanyou state, for that matter, but since Kagome was a miko, she had the power of the subduing beads at her beck and call, not to mention she could probably zap him one if push came to shove. Suddenly, that thought had something Myouga had warned him about popping back into the forefront of his mind, something he couldn’t believe he had forgotten all about until that moment.
“Oh kami…what if…what if bonding with me spoiled your miko powers?” he asked her faintly, searching her eyes with his own.
Surprised, Kagome pulled back slightly, releasing her hold on his face as she shifted her sitting position to reach her left sock, where she revealed, to Inuyasha’s relief, that she had tucked away her bottle of jewel shards. He had sensed in the back of his mind that she still had them on her, but hadn’t truly thought to ask, not that it would’ve been wise to ask about the shards even if he had thought about it, lest she get the misguided impression that he was more worried about those stupid crystals than her. But to see them sparkling prettily in that moment, as she held up the tiny bottle for his inspection, he realized that no trace of taint was present in their aura, meaning that no trace of taint was present in Kagome’s aura, either.
“My miko powers are unaffected, because it is the purity of the heart that matters.” Kagome explained to him as she tucked the bottle back inside her sock.
“I love you,” she continued then. “And I know you love me too, even if you never say the words; I can sense it. Being with you like that…it wasn’t filthy, and it didn’t tarnish me, no matter what society might think. The proof is in the pudding, as a saying from my time goes, the ‘pudding’ in this case being the jewel shards. And as for having your blood within my system, becoming part youkai in a way… How can me being part youkai automatically make me tainted when you, who are half youkai, are one of the purist souls I’ve ever met? Besides, you wouldn’t have initiated the mating bond if your youkai side had only wanted to rut. Your youkai side chose me, as its mate, a symbol of devotion more pure than anything a human couple could ever hope to duplicate, and that knowledge has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I do hope your human side feels the same way, since we’re mates now no matter what, but just know that I do not feel stuck or trapped with you. I’m happy to be your mate.”
He sighed again as she finished her little speech, unable to say anything himself for a moment or two. Instead, he just sat there, unfocused eyes blinking back a second onslaught of tears. He managed to keep them at bay.
“My human side…” he started after a moment, immediately earning her full attention, “…it feels the same way, Kagome.” he told her then, his eyes focusing on her own once more. “I know what you’re thinking, what you didn’t say…you don’t know if maybe I only wanted you with my youkai half, and if my human half only loves Kikyou.”
She flinched a little at the sound of her preincarnation’s name, and suddenly, it was Inuyasha who had his hand on Kagome’s cheek, gently getting her to meet his gaze once more. The significance of him being willing to touch her, even in that small way, was not lost on either of them.
“I do still have some feelings for Kikyou, but I…I know, I have known, that there is no future for us. All I truly want for her is for her soul to find peace. I know I hadn’t said anything to you about it, but I…chose you, Kagome…quite a while ago. It was my intention to approach you after we killed Naraku, when our lives weren’t as dangerous as they are now. I can’t say I don’t regret what happened. Kami, I’ll regret attacking you like that for the rest of my life. But…but I’m not upset about us being bonded now. At least not now that I know you aren’t upset about it. I was afraid you’d flip out completely, but you really meant what you said, I can tell, that you don’t feel trapped. I…I don’t feel trapped, either. I…love you, with both sides of my heart.”
“Oh, Inuyasha…” Kagome cooed, leaning forward before allowing herself enough time to think about what she was doing.
Inuyasha was surprised when he felt her lips touch his, but only for a moment. Already she had kissed him in the inu fashion, so it only seemed fair that she would want a human kiss as well. Closing his eyes again, though this time it was not out of shame, Inuyasha hesitantly yet bravely wrapped his hands up and behind Kagome’s head and neck, holding her to him as he dared deepen the kiss. He was still feeling incredibly low with himself, but if anybody could help him overcome those feelings, it would be the wonderful woman he currently held in his arms. His Kagome. His mate. He hated being unable to remember the specifics of what had transpired between them. Perhaps, if Kagome felt up to briefing him on the details, then he could force himself to listen. Maybe it really wasn’t as bad as his imagination was telling him.
Pulling back from the kiss after a moment, Inuyasha sought Kagome’s eyes with his own, and he was just about to voice his question when his ears suddenly turned, honing in on a sound too far in the distance for Kagome’s hearing to pick up yet. Her senses were more advanced than they used to be, but they still weren’t on the same level as his. However, she didn’t need her hearing to realize what her hanyou mate had detected, if the way his entire posture had suddenly stiffened was any indication. Were a predator in the area, he would’ve jumped to his feet by now, shoving her behind him as he prepared to fight, so that meant the sudden spike of nervousness in his scent was for a reason other than predators.
“Miroku-sama and Sango-chan?” Kagome asked simply, to which he replied with “Come on.” as he practically yanked her to her feet.
As quickly as they had disappeared, his feelings of disgust and self-loathing were back with a vengeance, especially when he glanced down with a grimace to be reminded of the blood still staining his claws. Glancing down at his hands, herself, Kagome couldn’t help the spike of sympathy she felt for him in understanding. Not that she truly shared his fear that their friends would think him a monster, but she could certainly understand why a man of his upbringing – or lack thereof – would assume the worst, given the circumstances.
Heading back over to the spring, Kagome climbed upon the same bolder she’d previously sat his suikan on while she’d bathed, watching him as he squatted at the water’s edge to rinse up. His ears flattened to his head as they each heard Sango’s startled cry from the clearing where they’d… Yeah, their friends had probably already figured out what had happened, Kagome realized with a grimace, knowing her shredding clothing would be a dead giveaway. They would be there any minute now, already the miko could hear them approaching through the trees, and for the second time since becoming Inuyasha’s mate, she knew she had her work cut out for her.
~End Flashback~
Slowly, Inuyasha closed the distance between himself and Kagome, as she continued to offer him a gentle smile, observing as he silently approached her position by their campfire. Sitting himself down next to her on her left, he didn’t hesitate before looping his right arm around her, pulling her against his side. Kagome responded to the unexpected but welcomed embrace by snuggling herself fully against him, tilting her head sideways to rest against his shoulder. In turn, he tilted his own head to rest atop of hers, rubbing his right hand up and down her arm affectionately.
With the steady breathing of their sleeping companions offering a reminder that the pair was not alone, Kagome made sure to keep her whisper at a level quiet enough so that only the hanyou she was leaning against would hear her.
“Inuyasha?” she voiced, not really needing to ask anything beyond that, the emotions he could feel from her through their bond making her meaning clear. She wanted to know if he was okay, if they were okay, and she was offering an ear if he needed to talk.
“We can’t go back, Kagome.” he whispered suddenly, his voice also just barely loud enough for her to hear so as not to risk disturbing the others. Fortunately, with her newly advanced hearing, he could be much quieter than he would’ve needed to be in the past.
“Go back?” she asked for clarification.
“To the way things were.” he elaborated. “We can’t go back to the way things were.”
She nodded against him then. “I don’t want to.”
“Good.” he stated, the love he felt for her washing over her through their connection, as his self-doubt and loathing melted away bit by bit. “Neither do I.”
She could tell he meant it.
Sighing in contentment, Kagome snuggled herself even further into his side, and the pair stayed like that for several minutes until Inuyasha’s near silent whisper of “You should get some sleep.” caught her attention. As he started to pull himself back from their embrace, unwinding his arm from around her side, Kagome made an unexpected grab for the retreating appendage with her left hand, snatching his wrist and dragging his right arm back up and around her, hooking it over her neck. He chuckled a little despite himself at her tenacity, but all trace of amusement was gone when, thanks to his sleeve getting pushed back slightly during the move, the mate mark on his arm suddenly and unexpectedly came into direct contact with the mate mark on her throat.
In an instant, it was as if Kagome and Inuyasha were one, and both the miko and hanyou were experiencing equal levels of shock to suddenly find themselves so in tune with their partner. Her mark burned at the contact, but not in an unpleasant way. Unbidden, Kagome found herself remembering a brief flashback of the moment he had given her the mark to begin with, and her thoughts once she’d realized what the bite mark was, when he had offered her his arm to mark in return. Sango had told her that the sharing of blood and youki bonded demonic mates together in ways that most humans couldn’t comprehend, but she had thought that they’d already experienced the peak of closeness their bond would give them with the sensing of each other’s emotions, so this whole ‘oneness’ thing was something entirely unexpected. It took Kagome less than a second to realize that Inuyasha was privy to her thoughts themselves in that moment as she felt his thoughts in return, as she experienced his shock at her memories, ripping his arm away from her, severing the link as though it had burned him. In truth, he had just been caught off guard.
Immediately, she pulled back to look at him, her eyes wide in disbelief, as if waiting for him to explain to her what the hell had just happened. The confusion she could feel in him told her that he didn’t have an explanation, either, while the anxiety in his scent revealed that he wouldn’t be content leaving the matter a mystery. Then wordlessly, he stood to his feet, yanking her up with him with enough force that it could have potentially hurt her prior to their bonding, though in that instant Kagome was only off kilter as she struggled to find her balance. Not that that effort did her any good when in the next instant, Kagome found herself gazing at the scenery zipping by her at a dizzying pace, realizing that she was now held firmly in Inuyasha’s arms as he took off with her deeper into the forest.
Once they were securely out of hearing range for their friends left back at camp, Inuyasha searched out a small clearing that seemed void of demonic activity. Depositing Kagome on her feet, the inu-hanyou took a quick moment to circle the surrounding woods – just to be sure the area he’d found for them was truly secure – before returning to his mate. His mark had started itching him more and more severely since severing contact with Kagome’s, so in that moment Inuyasha finally began scratching the itch, which in turn caused Kagome’s mark to tingle, as the young miko reached up to rub at her own mark in return. It didn’t take either of them long at all to realize that as they both rubbed their marks at the same time, it sent calming waves of peace throughout each of their bodies, like being wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket of contentment. Soon, Inuyasha’s anxiety was gone, though his confusion and curiosity remained, as he stopped rubbing at his mark to meet Kagome’s gaze.
“What the hell was that?” he asked finally, his tone more befuddled than accusative.
“I have no idea…” Kagome confessed as she ceased messing with her own mark in return, furrowing her brow as she truly thought about it. “It was like…it was like we were in each other’s heads. You didn’t know that could happen?”
Shaking his head in the negative, Inuyasha silently swore to get Myouga back for failing to mention that very important tidbit of information. When he had first decided he’d wanted to eventually approach Kagome to be his mate, he had swallowed his pride to secretly question his retainer on anything he might need to know. His instincts automatically took care of how to go about completing the blood bond itself, but he hadn’t wanted any surprises. In his book, something like this definitely qualified!
“What was it I saw?” he asked her then, figuring he could maim Myouga later. Right now, there were more important issues he wanted to address. “Were those your memories?”
Kagome blushed a little at the reminder of what she’d started thinking of while their minds had been joined together, but then the proverbial light bulb went off over her head. The look in Inuyasha’s eyes confirmed for her that he’d already thought of the same thing.
“Yes…” she answered him then. “The light burning through my mark when we touched, it…it reminded me of the sensation of when you first bit me, so I started thinking about that, then how I drank your blood in return.”
Nodding, Inuyasha confirmed for Kagome that he truly had relived those memories with her, by adding the one element she left off.
“Plus you were thinking of everything Sango had explained to you once when you’d told her of your feelings for me, and she’d explained youkai mating bonds to you.”
Kagome nodded, her eyes wide, though he didn’t seem upset at that revelation. She had spoken with Sango in secret, yes, but only because she had loved him so, and now Kagome knew that Inuyasha had been harboring secrets of his own, that being of how he had already chosen her, and had been planning on proposing, in the youkai fashion, once their mission was completed. Was keeping a secret born of love really all that bad?
In that moment, Inuyasha couldn’t care less that the slayer had informed Kagome of the things that most humans didn’t know, things that most youkai wanted to keep to themselves. He would’ve had to have explained everything to her eventually, anyway, and if he actually had bonded with her without her knowledge or comprehension, as he had temporarily feared, well…Inuyasha was just grateful that he didn’t even have to worry about contemplating that possibility. The fact that the taijiya had informed Kagome a few months back about the existence of blood bonds…he now had zero doubt that Kagome truly had drank of him willingly and with full understanding. How could he doubt the validity of the miko’s own memories? He had just witnessed the act for himself, after all, through her perspective.
“I want to do that again,” he spoke up suddenly. “Touch our marks together.”
“Are you sure?”
“If I can remember through your eyes what happened, hell yes.” he answered, before getting a little nervous at the way she bit her bottom lip. “Something you don’t want me to see?”
“No…” Kagome replied, shaking her worries free. So what if he would be able to hear her thoughts during the flashback? Then he would only see for himself how much she truly loved him.
“I’m ready, let’s do this thing.” she stated then, pulling her hair to the side.
Nodding with conviction, Inuyasha approached where Kagome stood, circling behind her. He had no idea what to expect, so gently wrapping his arms around Kagome’s sides, he encouraged her to lean back against him, as he sat down, bringing her with him to sit in his lap, as he held her back flush against his stomach with his left hand on her belly. She grabbed his right arm and rolled up his sleeve before tilting her head, baring her throat to him. Clearing his own throat, Inuyasha nervously and anxiously touched his mark to hers.
Like some kind of out-of-body experience, Inuyasha instantly found himself observing himself, as Kagome figured she should take him back to the very beginning. The vision began with him crouched at the water’s edge, washing the oni’s blood from his hands. Suddenly, as the echo of his youkai-self turned at the sound of Kagome’s approach in their minds, Inuyasha could swear he saw a reflection of her startled face from that same moment in time, and it quickly dawned on each of them that experiencing the memories from Kagome’s perspective was somehow simultaneously unlocking the seal over Inuyasha’s own memories. Together, with each other and as each other, they remembered. He heard Kagome’s voice, as she tried to tell his youkai side that the danger was gone. In their heads, Kagome now heard the echo of what had been Inuyasha’s thoughts at that time, as simplistic as they had become. As he bit into her shoulder, hanyou-Inuyasha flinched during the memory, tasting her blood in his mouth. But he was also calmed by Kagome’s thoughts, as she’d realized even then that he wasn’t attacking her, though her lack of understanding what was really going on worried him slightly. Still, he couldn’t help but feel aroused as the memory of Kagome’s own arousal washed over him, surprised to realize that she had actually been so turned on by his harsh actions, even as he remembered the sensation of trailing his tongue all over her body, the taste of blood in his mouth no longer disturbing him. Then, just as he had experienced a few minutes prior back at camp, the memory of the moment she drank of his own blood did assure him that she had realized by that point just how important her own bite mark was, and that by completing their bond they would be together forever.
Inuyasha and Kagome were both shocked to remember his youkai side’s memories of that moment, realizing that he wouldn’t have forced her had she resisted him, but the miko in his arms felt no regrets as that realization washed over her, instead using that truth as ammunition in her fight to convince her mate that he wasn’t a monster, and to prove to him that she truly hadn’t resisted him. Inuyasha suddenly found himself engulfed in a tidal wave of emotions, as he relived the girl’s eagerness to rid him of his own clothing, and her nervousness and self-consciousness upon seeing his body naked and aroused. He remembered lowering her to the grass, and he felt her surprise when he didn’t enter her right away. As he kissed her, Kagome felt Inuyasha’s surprise in that moment himself, as he relived the memory, explaining to her through their bond that inu-youkai did not kiss like humans, and that that kiss had to have come from his human side.
Inuyasha felt less disgusted regarding the ‘love bites’ he had scattered over her upon remembering that she hadn’t minded them at the time, and that she had bitten him repeatedly as well. As she went for his throat and he gave her his arm again, Inuyasha knew from his talks with Myouga that the more times during the mating process each partner drank from the other, the closer the bond would become. Typically, male and female youkai would each bite each other on the neck, but because Kagome’s teeth could never be strong enough to break his skin, it was acceptable for him to bite himself first. Once she began drinking of him, she had gained his strengths and abilities, and another part of the bond that had gone unnoticed to the pair at that time, his youki wrapping around them both, had finalized the union, assuring that the bite marks would not simply remain bite marks, but would become the symbols of their union.
Inuyasha lost his wandering thoughts when he relived the memory of trailing his tongue down her body, and he could almost feel the girl in his arms blush as they each remembered the sensation, from each of their perspectives, of his face between her legs. Inuyasha grew hard as he remembered the taste of her, experiencing through their bond all the pleasure he had made Kagome feel. The sound of her calling out his name in completion echoed loudly throughout their heads, and he smirked despite himself, though his smugness was quick to fade when he sensed the memory of her previous doubts, realizing that only in that moment as he said her name in return did she know it truly had been her that he had chosen. That revelation shocked Inuyasha in that moment. She had been willing to comply with becoming his mate even as she’d wondered whether or not he had known it was her or Kikyou? He knew she’d had some lingering doubts as to whether or not his human side had wanted Kikyou and that it’d only been thanks to his transformation that he’d approached her, but she had actually possessed a speck of doubt as to whether or not his youkai side had known who she was? Kagome tried to sooth her mate in that moment, but he didn’t have long to feel hurt as he next relived the memory of gripping her shoulders with his claws, paying no attention to the way he damaged her still very delicate human flesh. Just because she would heal faster didn’t mean she was that much harder to injure in the first place. Then once he got her on her hands and knees, he plunged forward, heedless of how it would hurt her. Pain he felt rip through his own body as he relived the memory from her perspective, even as he felt his youkai side’s remorse when she spoke in inu that he had hurt her and he whimpered an apology. Still, despite Kagome’s pain, Inuyasha had also felt the tremendous amount of pleasure that had washed over him at their joining, pleasure Kagome was now able to experience as well thanks to awakening and sharing of his memories of the act. By that point it didn’t even surprise Inuyasha that he had stilled all movement until receiving the signal from her that it was okay to proceed, as he let her drink of him one final time, making their bond truly strong. He really hadn’t meant to hurt her, after all. Just as she had been attempting to convince him all day long. He grimaced when he felt the sensation of his claws piercing her hips, though he saw in both of their memories that neither of them had even realized he’d done so at that moment in time.
Inuyasha nearly lost it when he felt his climax rush through him, surprised he didn’t stain his pants as he remembered the intensity of his member pulsing within her, the knot that had formed at the base of his shaft swelling to tie them together like a pair of dogs. He was embarrassed to remember that they had been locked together, not having really given such a detail much thought before reliving the sensation, though he was relieved to note that Kagome hadn’t been bothered by it at the time, nor was she bothered by it now. Inuyasha was surprised when the memory of Kagome’s thoughts from that moment filtered through their link, as the girl had contemplated her mother having put her on something called ‘birth control’, but as Kagome felt his confusion and elaborated within her thoughts, showing him a brief memory of her previous conversation with her mother, the hanyou sitting behind her relaxed tremendously to realize that he didn’t have to worry about her getting pregnant while they still had to finish their mission.
Finally pulling his arm away from her neck after reliving the memory of settling them both down on their sides to fall asleep spooned and still connected together, Inuyasha remained silent for a while, letting his thoughts catch up with him. He still remembered everything he had experienced. He remembered everything from his own perspective, as if the memories had never been kept from him in the first place, but he also still remembered experiencing everything from Kagome’s point of view, thanks to their bond. He was certain she still possessed his memories as well. Taking a deep breath, he wasn’t surprised to find the heavy scent of Kagome’s arousal in the air. He was sure she could feel his arousal pressing up against her bottom, as she continued to sit in his lap.
After another moment of silence, Kagome was finally the one to break the spell first, moving away from him, crawling out of his lap so that she could turn to face him, sitting on her knees.
He gulped at the intensity of her gaze, her lust unmistakable through their bond, as he could still feel her emotions, even if he could no longer hear her thoughts.
“Kagome…?” he voiced hesitantly, unsure where his sudden nervousness was coming from.
She didn’t respond, at least not with words. Sitting across from him and staring at him hungrily, the scent of her arousal perfuming the air, Kagome reached for the tie of his suikan, pulling slowly. Inuyasha’s eyes widened as she unwrapped herself, her gaze never leaving his own as she tossed his fire-rat robe to the forest floor, kneeling before him naked.