InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Regret ❯ Return ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kawa-Misuterii 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Fantasy / Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 01.03.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 683 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Fantasy / Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 01.03.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 683 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Don’t own InuYasha, but you already knew that, didn’t you? Okay, I get the feeling there’s going to be some major OOC-ness here, so BEWARE! ALSO! I vaguely remember reading a fic similar to this quite some time ago, but have thus far unsuccessful at relocating it in order to give the unknown author credit, and as much as it pains me, I’m afraid this is the best I can do for them. *ahem*
This story was not entirely original for me, and many words of thanks to the author who first tried this plot. I give you my official apologies at not being able to ask you personally to use this, and if you so wish for me to take this down, you have but to ask. Again, I’m sorry, and thank you.
Well, on with the show.
Regrets
I, InuYasha, am the biggest bastard on the face of this miserable planet.
I’ve been wandering around an unfamiliar forest for three days now, too lost and tired to even jump above the trees to see where I am. Hell, I could be on the continent for all I know. My memory is a little foggy as to what exactly happened to me, so until I gather my wits, I focus on just walking forward.
Three days since I’ve met any intelligent creatures, and I’m starting to wonder if perhaps the entire world has been rid of humans and youkai, save for me. It’s just not normal to not have run into something in all this time. I could almost feel the Tessaiga wishing to protect something, but the truth was, I had no clue if there was even anyone out there I wished to protect anymore. Somehow, that scared me much more than being alone ever will.
Finally, on the morning of the fourth day, I came across a seaside town spilling out of the forest, not too far from the bat demon cave in which I got the red Tetsusaiga from. I would have kissed the sand, but instead I nearly flew towards Musashi, unable to stand waiting any longer.
I passed Sango’s old slayer village on my way, and to my surprise, I could smell both Miroku and Sango nearby.
Miroku was outside gathering some wood, and when he stood up and saw me, he dropped the wood in his hand onto his foot, and stared at me as if I was kami incarnate or something.
“I-InuYasha!” he shouted. “Yo-you’re alive!”
“Keh. What’re you doing here?” I replied, not wanting to go into detail about my existence at the moment, seeing as I was still a little unsure as to why I was still alive myself. I should’ve been long gone by now...
“Oh! Ummm......Yes, Sango wishes to rebuild her village, and so we moved here not long after our wedding......which I don’t believe you were present for.” Miroku answered, sending me a rather hateful look for a monk.
“I see. And......Kagome?” I asked the forbidden question, knowing I didn’t deserve an answer.
“Married us.” Miroku said, losing his bewilderment at seeing me again as a cold look crept into his eyes. I lowered my eyes in shame, knowing that I should stop there, but....
“Is she-”
“The well closed not long after you left.” he said. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least she was safe, even if I could never see her again. My heart clenched painfully at the thought, but I had to put aside my selfish desires for her sake. If she at least was safe with her family, that was more I could ever ask for.
Miroku heard my sigh, and narrowed his eyes even more, crossing his arms in front of him.
“It was quite heartbreaking, having to comfort her at the loss of her family. Especially when she refused our condolences, saying that her family was safe, and insisting that there was nothing to mourn. But from what I understand, she still goes to the well everyday to offer a prayer, and is doing quite well as Kaede’s replacement.” he said.
All of the air rushed out of my lungs, and an icy cold feeling crept under my skin. She was here? In Sengoku Jidai, five hundred years away from her home, and no one there to protect her? She was......alone?
A terrible wave of guilt washed over me. This was why I was still alive. I had left Kagome, and now she was alone in this unfamiliar world, cut off from her family and forced to live a life she didn’t ask for, all because of me. And the worst of it all? She was alone! I had left her completely alone in this dangerous world! I didn’t deserve to look her way anymore, not with what I’d done.
“How long was I gone?” I asked.
“About five months. Kaede-sama passed on not too long ago.” He answered. I heard a quiet call from inside one of the huts, and out stalked Sango, holding a hand to her stomach. It appeared as if she had been listening the entire time, and I felt a distinct air of danger stir around her.
“InuYasha.” she said hatefully under her breath, gritting her teeth and glaring at me with all of her might.
“You bastard. How dare you show your face again!” she spat, almost as much hate shoved into that sentence as when she gave the last battle cry against Naraku.
Sango disappeared into the hut, and returned with Hiraikotsu, and took the stance to hurl it at me with the last bit of strength she had.
“Sango! Stop! Think of the baby!” Miroku shouted and ran over to her. He grabbed the giant boomerang and wrenched it out of her grip. She glared at him for a moment, and then turned back to me. Somehow, now I was more afraid than when she had a weapon.
“Why are you here? How dare you ask about Kagome! You want to know what happened to her after you left?” I wasn’t really sure anymore, but I nodded my head uncertainly. “Turns out, she got an infection in her wounds. Remember, when Naraku smashed her into the ground?” she asked, sickeningly sweetly. I winced and nodded again, wondering if my ears would ever be able to raise them selves out of my hair from the shame. “But no, you weren’t there, were you?! She jumped down the well in order to go see healers from her time, and broke her ankle when it didn’t open for her!”
“She spent three weeks under quarantine, and nearly died! And do you know what she told me, InuYasha?! She told me she didn’t care! She just curled up into a ball in Kaede’s hut and didn’t talk for a month!” she yelled, her voice gradually getting louder. I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me at this point, but I deserved it, I had to hear everything she went through, when I left her for dead. I ignored the wetness at the edge of my vision, and braced myself.
“Finally, one day she just walked out of the hut, a big smile on her face, and I don’t believe she’s mentioned your name since. She’s just FINE without you, so why don’t you back to HELL!” she hissed. My stubborn body wouldn’t allow the tears to fall, but a pathetic whimper escaped from my throat.
If what she said was true, perhaps it would be better if I just disappeared before I had the chance to ruin Kagome’s life again. But I couldn’t do that, not yet. I had to see if it was true, to see for sure if Kagome was really okay.
After reaming me out, Sango slumped against Miroku, mumbling something about getting out of my presence, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t blame her one bit. Miroku took her back inside, and returned to where I was standing.
“I think it would be best if you left now, InuYasha.” he said tiredly, refusing to look me in the eyes as he rubbed a hand over his face.
“She hates my guts, huh?” I said with a humorless snort.
“Yes. And I don’t see her forgiving you.” Miroku replied.
“What about you?” I asked, hoping that perhaps, by some reckoning of the gods, I still had a friend in this world, despite my sins.
Miroku sighed heavily. I took that as my invitation to leave.
“It’s not that we don’t understand why you went with Kikyou.” Miroku spoke up, before I had a chance to run away. I froze, not expecting him to actually talk to me.
“It was just the way you did it, as if none of us never really mattered to you, especially Kagome. You.......you killed her, a little, when you pulled that stunt.” he said. He was standing beside me now, both of us facing opposite directions.
“She puts on quite an act, everyday, and that is why it appears to everyone, including Sango, that Kagome has become a new person and simply forgot about you. But I don’t think that is quite what happened.” he continued. I felt a wave of anger wash over me. Forget about me? Me?! She would never!
“Whenever we visit her, I must admit there is an undeniable loneliness about her. I will say this to you, InuYasha. I personally believe everyone deserves a second chance. You got yours when she awoke you from your fifty-year sleep.” I lowered my head, acknowledging the truth.
“But Kagome deserves to be happy, and no matter what she says now, she isn’t. And as much as I wish this weren’t true, I’m afraid you’re the only one who can do that. It is quite a paradox, I must say. You most certainly don’t deserve her, after all that’s happened, but she deserves you.” Miroku said.
“I’m telling you all of this now because I doubt you’d be able to figure it out on your own. If you somehow manage to set things right, I would be grateful to you. I say this as Kagome’s dear friend. If you can someone reconcile with her, and could stick around this time.” he said, the last part with a harshness that scared me a little. “She would get the ending she deserves, and not the half-life she’s been living. I won’t tell you anymore about her, because you can ask yourself, right?”
I grunted, not really a very committing noise, but I already had an ironclad vow cemented in my mind. If I had been sent back to this world, it meant that my decision was wrong, and now I’d do anything to right it.
I was nothing more than a red blur across the country side as I raced back to her, not even stopping at night to rest. It was midmorning by the time I finally got to Edo, and even though I’m a hanyou, I was about to collapse from near exhaustion. I slowed to a walk and stayed in the forest, not wanting to attract any attention from anyone other than my target.
Her scent drifted over me on a lazy breeze, and I found myself zoning out and inhaling deeply, forgetting about everything that had happened for a moment. I managed to shake myself out of my daze to figure out where the breeze was coming from.
‘The well....’ I thought, and immediately went into ‘hunting mode’.
I crept through the undergrowth until the well came into my sight, and the vision before me made my heart clench so painfully I almost forgot to breathe.
Kagome was sitting next to the well, her head lying on her arm, which was draped over the wooden lip. Her other arm was hanging solemnly into the entrance, as if she was reaching for something in the darkness. The utter loneliness on her face was heartbreaking. I could only count myself lucky that I didn’t have the chance to look into her eyes just yet. I’m sure the guilt would too much to handle. Hell, I was practically overcome as it is.
Not much had changed about her appearance from what I could see, other than the fact that she was wearing miko robes. That and her hair was a bit longer, although it seemed that she refused to wear the miko hair tie, despite the heat of the day (also, perhaps to leave at least one mark that she was different from Kikyou). I knew this because her long, black hair was curling around her face prettily in the slow breeze, and I was struck with a pang of longing that was more powerful than I was used to.
She sat there, staring into the well, timeless in her tiny movements and the small frown that had yet to leave her face. We stayed in one spot so long, one unaware of the others presence, the other unaware of anything but her presence. I wondered if perhaps she planned on simply waiting until the past caught up with the present, for a city to grow up behind her, and her mother to come and offer her something to eat after her long journey.
If guilt were poison, I’d have enough to make Sesshomaru bow down and acknowledge my almighty superiority over him.
Finally, she got up, and turned her back to me, walking slowly away, her hands in her sleeves.
No, from behind, there was no confusing the two. Something about the difference in the way they held themselves, not to mention the fact that Kagome’s hair was still cut messily, while Kikyou’s was strictly chopped in a straight line. Personally, I prefer Kagome’s. It’s more like mine, more...natural.
I shook my head to rid myself of those frivolous thoughts, and decided to spend the day watching her. The fact that it meant I could watch her to my hearts content without having to confront her didn’t even cross my mind, of course. It was purely to see if she was living a happy life.
As I silently followed from a distance downwind, the wind picked up her hair to reveal a scar that I knew descended all the way across her back down to her rear. I knew, because when she was unconscious and couldn’t argue, I was the one who cared for her, thinking the guilt then had been the worst I’d ever suffered. Keh, I had no idea what guilt was.
I inhaled deeply as a wash of memories came over me.
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Okay, I'll update soon. Reviews are much appreciated, I really want to know how I'm doing.
This story was not entirely original for me, and many words of thanks to the author who first tried this plot. I give you my official apologies at not being able to ask you personally to use this, and if you so wish for me to take this down, you have but to ask. Again, I’m sorry, and thank you.
Well, on with the show.
Regrets
I, InuYasha, am the biggest bastard on the face of this miserable planet.
I’ve been wandering around an unfamiliar forest for three days now, too lost and tired to even jump above the trees to see where I am. Hell, I could be on the continent for all I know. My memory is a little foggy as to what exactly happened to me, so until I gather my wits, I focus on just walking forward.
Three days since I’ve met any intelligent creatures, and I’m starting to wonder if perhaps the entire world has been rid of humans and youkai, save for me. It’s just not normal to not have run into something in all this time. I could almost feel the Tessaiga wishing to protect something, but the truth was, I had no clue if there was even anyone out there I wished to protect anymore. Somehow, that scared me much more than being alone ever will.
Finally, on the morning of the fourth day, I came across a seaside town spilling out of the forest, not too far from the bat demon cave in which I got the red Tetsusaiga from. I would have kissed the sand, but instead I nearly flew towards Musashi, unable to stand waiting any longer.
I passed Sango’s old slayer village on my way, and to my surprise, I could smell both Miroku and Sango nearby.
Miroku was outside gathering some wood, and when he stood up and saw me, he dropped the wood in his hand onto his foot, and stared at me as if I was kami incarnate or something.
“I-InuYasha!” he shouted. “Yo-you’re alive!”
“Keh. What’re you doing here?” I replied, not wanting to go into detail about my existence at the moment, seeing as I was still a little unsure as to why I was still alive myself. I should’ve been long gone by now...
“Oh! Ummm......Yes, Sango wishes to rebuild her village, and so we moved here not long after our wedding......which I don’t believe you were present for.” Miroku answered, sending me a rather hateful look for a monk.
“I see. And......Kagome?” I asked the forbidden question, knowing I didn’t deserve an answer.
“Married us.” Miroku said, losing his bewilderment at seeing me again as a cold look crept into his eyes. I lowered my eyes in shame, knowing that I should stop there, but....
“Is she-”
“The well closed not long after you left.” he said. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least she was safe, even if I could never see her again. My heart clenched painfully at the thought, but I had to put aside my selfish desires for her sake. If she at least was safe with her family, that was more I could ever ask for.
Miroku heard my sigh, and narrowed his eyes even more, crossing his arms in front of him.
“It was quite heartbreaking, having to comfort her at the loss of her family. Especially when she refused our condolences, saying that her family was safe, and insisting that there was nothing to mourn. But from what I understand, she still goes to the well everyday to offer a prayer, and is doing quite well as Kaede’s replacement.” he said.
All of the air rushed out of my lungs, and an icy cold feeling crept under my skin. She was here? In Sengoku Jidai, five hundred years away from her home, and no one there to protect her? She was......alone?
A terrible wave of guilt washed over me. This was why I was still alive. I had left Kagome, and now she was alone in this unfamiliar world, cut off from her family and forced to live a life she didn’t ask for, all because of me. And the worst of it all? She was alone! I had left her completely alone in this dangerous world! I didn’t deserve to look her way anymore, not with what I’d done.
“How long was I gone?” I asked.
“About five months. Kaede-sama passed on not too long ago.” He answered. I heard a quiet call from inside one of the huts, and out stalked Sango, holding a hand to her stomach. It appeared as if she had been listening the entire time, and I felt a distinct air of danger stir around her.
“InuYasha.” she said hatefully under her breath, gritting her teeth and glaring at me with all of her might.
“You bastard. How dare you show your face again!” she spat, almost as much hate shoved into that sentence as when she gave the last battle cry against Naraku.
Sango disappeared into the hut, and returned with Hiraikotsu, and took the stance to hurl it at me with the last bit of strength she had.
“Sango! Stop! Think of the baby!” Miroku shouted and ran over to her. He grabbed the giant boomerang and wrenched it out of her grip. She glared at him for a moment, and then turned back to me. Somehow, now I was more afraid than when she had a weapon.
“Why are you here? How dare you ask about Kagome! You want to know what happened to her after you left?” I wasn’t really sure anymore, but I nodded my head uncertainly. “Turns out, she got an infection in her wounds. Remember, when Naraku smashed her into the ground?” she asked, sickeningly sweetly. I winced and nodded again, wondering if my ears would ever be able to raise them selves out of my hair from the shame. “But no, you weren’t there, were you?! She jumped down the well in order to go see healers from her time, and broke her ankle when it didn’t open for her!”
“She spent three weeks under quarantine, and nearly died! And do you know what she told me, InuYasha?! She told me she didn’t care! She just curled up into a ball in Kaede’s hut and didn’t talk for a month!” she yelled, her voice gradually getting louder. I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me at this point, but I deserved it, I had to hear everything she went through, when I left her for dead. I ignored the wetness at the edge of my vision, and braced myself.
“Finally, one day she just walked out of the hut, a big smile on her face, and I don’t believe she’s mentioned your name since. She’s just FINE without you, so why don’t you back to HELL!” she hissed. My stubborn body wouldn’t allow the tears to fall, but a pathetic whimper escaped from my throat.
If what she said was true, perhaps it would be better if I just disappeared before I had the chance to ruin Kagome’s life again. But I couldn’t do that, not yet. I had to see if it was true, to see for sure if Kagome was really okay.
After reaming me out, Sango slumped against Miroku, mumbling something about getting out of my presence, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t blame her one bit. Miroku took her back inside, and returned to where I was standing.
“I think it would be best if you left now, InuYasha.” he said tiredly, refusing to look me in the eyes as he rubbed a hand over his face.
“She hates my guts, huh?” I said with a humorless snort.
“Yes. And I don’t see her forgiving you.” Miroku replied.
“What about you?” I asked, hoping that perhaps, by some reckoning of the gods, I still had a friend in this world, despite my sins.
Miroku sighed heavily. I took that as my invitation to leave.
“It’s not that we don’t understand why you went with Kikyou.” Miroku spoke up, before I had a chance to run away. I froze, not expecting him to actually talk to me.
“It was just the way you did it, as if none of us never really mattered to you, especially Kagome. You.......you killed her, a little, when you pulled that stunt.” he said. He was standing beside me now, both of us facing opposite directions.
“She puts on quite an act, everyday, and that is why it appears to everyone, including Sango, that Kagome has become a new person and simply forgot about you. But I don’t think that is quite what happened.” he continued. I felt a wave of anger wash over me. Forget about me? Me?! She would never!
“Whenever we visit her, I must admit there is an undeniable loneliness about her. I will say this to you, InuYasha. I personally believe everyone deserves a second chance. You got yours when she awoke you from your fifty-year sleep.” I lowered my head, acknowledging the truth.
“But Kagome deserves to be happy, and no matter what she says now, she isn’t. And as much as I wish this weren’t true, I’m afraid you’re the only one who can do that. It is quite a paradox, I must say. You most certainly don’t deserve her, after all that’s happened, but she deserves you.” Miroku said.
“I’m telling you all of this now because I doubt you’d be able to figure it out on your own. If you somehow manage to set things right, I would be grateful to you. I say this as Kagome’s dear friend. If you can someone reconcile with her, and could stick around this time.” he said, the last part with a harshness that scared me a little. “She would get the ending she deserves, and not the half-life she’s been living. I won’t tell you anymore about her, because you can ask yourself, right?”
I grunted, not really a very committing noise, but I already had an ironclad vow cemented in my mind. If I had been sent back to this world, it meant that my decision was wrong, and now I’d do anything to right it.
I was nothing more than a red blur across the country side as I raced back to her, not even stopping at night to rest. It was midmorning by the time I finally got to Edo, and even though I’m a hanyou, I was about to collapse from near exhaustion. I slowed to a walk and stayed in the forest, not wanting to attract any attention from anyone other than my target.
Her scent drifted over me on a lazy breeze, and I found myself zoning out and inhaling deeply, forgetting about everything that had happened for a moment. I managed to shake myself out of my daze to figure out where the breeze was coming from.
‘The well....’ I thought, and immediately went into ‘hunting mode’.
I crept through the undergrowth until the well came into my sight, and the vision before me made my heart clench so painfully I almost forgot to breathe.
Kagome was sitting next to the well, her head lying on her arm, which was draped over the wooden lip. Her other arm was hanging solemnly into the entrance, as if she was reaching for something in the darkness. The utter loneliness on her face was heartbreaking. I could only count myself lucky that I didn’t have the chance to look into her eyes just yet. I’m sure the guilt would too much to handle. Hell, I was practically overcome as it is.
Not much had changed about her appearance from what I could see, other than the fact that she was wearing miko robes. That and her hair was a bit longer, although it seemed that she refused to wear the miko hair tie, despite the heat of the day (also, perhaps to leave at least one mark that she was different from Kikyou). I knew this because her long, black hair was curling around her face prettily in the slow breeze, and I was struck with a pang of longing that was more powerful than I was used to.
She sat there, staring into the well, timeless in her tiny movements and the small frown that had yet to leave her face. We stayed in one spot so long, one unaware of the others presence, the other unaware of anything but her presence. I wondered if perhaps she planned on simply waiting until the past caught up with the present, for a city to grow up behind her, and her mother to come and offer her something to eat after her long journey.
If guilt were poison, I’d have enough to make Sesshomaru bow down and acknowledge my almighty superiority over him.
Finally, she got up, and turned her back to me, walking slowly away, her hands in her sleeves.
No, from behind, there was no confusing the two. Something about the difference in the way they held themselves, not to mention the fact that Kagome’s hair was still cut messily, while Kikyou’s was strictly chopped in a straight line. Personally, I prefer Kagome’s. It’s more like mine, more...natural.
I shook my head to rid myself of those frivolous thoughts, and decided to spend the day watching her. The fact that it meant I could watch her to my hearts content without having to confront her didn’t even cross my mind, of course. It was purely to see if she was living a happy life.
As I silently followed from a distance downwind, the wind picked up her hair to reveal a scar that I knew descended all the way across her back down to her rear. I knew, because when she was unconscious and couldn’t argue, I was the one who cared for her, thinking the guilt then had been the worst I’d ever suffered. Keh, I had no idea what guilt was.
I inhaled deeply as a wash of memories came over me.
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Okay, I'll update soon. Reviews are much appreciated, I really want to know how I'm doing.