InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Second Chance ❯ Unleashing an Urge/ Giving in to Temptation ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: I don’t own it so please don’t sue. With the updates I give, I shouldn’t. (Sniff) First things first. Um...Youkai Yume (the great Yume-chan) has drawn a picture for this story. It’s on A Single Spark under her name and Mediaminer.org under both of ours. What’s the second thing...um...I don’t remember. Oh yeah! Thanks to everyone who wished me well. Sorry about how long it took for this chapter to come out. As a result of my good health, I found time to respond to the reviews! Yay!



Chapter Seventeen: Unleashing an Urge/ Giving in to Temptation


I


He wondered if he would ever be free of the scent of tears.


Sesshoumaru watched the small lump curled in the center of the queen sized bed, the small hiccups and sniffs coming from the confines of it completely unnerving to the taiyoukai as he and Kikyou listened on.


‘I don’t like this,’ Kikyou mumbled with a sigh. ‘I want her to smile again.’


‘I am sure she shall sometime in the near future,’ Sesshoumaru assured her as he resumed his position at the foot of Kagome’s bed. ‘After all, she cannot cry forever.’


‘That’s so heartless Sesshoumaru,’ Kikyou scolded with a sniff of her own. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, cursing whatever deity that sentenced him to live out eternity with this over emotional female inside his head. ‘That was not what I meant,’ he assured her. ‘I meant that it is understandable for her to be upset. The boy’s funeral was only a week ago.’


‘But she’s spent so much time weeping,’ Kikyou replied unhappily. ‘Please Sesshoumaru, isn’t there something we can do?’


Sesshoumaru sighed and thought over the request, wondering to himself when he became the sudden problem solver Kikyou believed him to be. As far as he was concerned every problem in the past 500 years that he tried to solve only ended up with...well, less than pleasant results to be sure. But like any good protector, Sesshoumaru quickly resigned himself to thinking of some way to make his little charge happier. He jumped onto the bed and stretched out beside her, his large snowy paws beneath his head as sad golden eyes peered at her.


Kagome rolled over at his insistence and hugged him, instantly transmitting her feelings of failure and grief to him unwittingly as she snuggled against him and dried her eyes. “I’m so very sorry Chance,” she sniffed unhappily. “I just feel like I failed him. I promised to be there for him and I wasn’t. I can’t imagine what Terrance went through, how alone he must felt and I wasn’t there.”


Sesshoumaru listened quietly, neither supportive or discouraging while he mentally went over Kouga’s last visit. He admitted that the officer’s statement stunned him as well but the stricken look in Kagome’s blue eyes seemed to die just as soon as it burst to life. She calmly listened to what happened, a red streak of fury flashing in her aura when Kouga spoke of the boy’s stepfather and how cruelly he spoke to the despondent child. Kagome reigned in her feelings long enough to calm Kouga down, who was still distraught about the entire night’s happenings. He finally went home after an hour and another bowl of soup, his clothes dry and his spirits slightly lifted by Kagome’s comforting words. Kagome herself remained calm throughout the rest of the week, her change in mood only beginning three days prior when she collapsed at the front door in a burst of tears.


‘I just don’t understand,’ Kikyou said while Kagome whimpered softly into her pillow. ‘What could have happened for her to feel this way? Was it something the detective said?’


‘I doubt that,’ Sesshoumaru determined with a mental shake of his head. ‘No, this did not start until after the boy’s funeral, so something must have happened there...’


)-(


Kagome sat quietly in the cold metal chair, her hands in her lap as she nervously looked around her. She felt out of place among the room full of mourners and though she tried not to she couldn’t help but twiddle her thumbs in discomfort. She glanced around the room for Kouga, who had decided to come with her at the last moment. She decided to attend the wake and not the funeral that was later in the week, feeling as if the funeral were for people that were closer to Terrance than she. She glanced around the room again before her eyes fell on Terrance’s picture, her eyes misting over as she gazed at his bright smile and his startlingly gray eyes.


“Excuse me, Higurashi-san?”


Kagome turned and gave Terrance’s mother a light, watery smile in greeting. “Hi.”

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” she asked as she gestured toward Kouga’s empty seat. Kagome immediately shook her head and offered her the seat. Ms. Wey immediately sat down and held her head in her hands. “Forgive me for the stupid question, but are you ok?”


“Yes, I’m fine,” Ms. Wey laughed bitterly. “It’s just...it’s been a hard couple of da-“


!!!CRASH!!!


They both looked up just as Terrance’s father’s aides were struggling to hold him back. The remains of a glass vase that once sat by Terrance’s picture crunched beneath his feet as he angrily shook free of them and stomped toward Kagome and Ms. Wey in a slight stupor.


“It’s your fault,” Ambassador Wey hissed at Diane through narrowed silver eyes. “How could you allow that monster near my boy?”


“I-“ Ms. Wey began before fresh tears streaked down her already stained face. “I-I don’t-“


“You were his mother! He TRUSTED you to protect him and you DIDN’T!”


“I-I just-“


“Ambassador please,” one of his aides begged as he and Kagome stood between the weeping woman. “You must calm down. Terrance wouldn’t want this.”


Ambassador Wey shoved the man completely out of his way, but couldn’t bring himself to lay hands on Kagome as he continued his verbal assault. “I should have taken him from you,” he shouted as Diane began to sob. “I should have taken him from you and never looked back but nooooo....You begged and you swore that nothing would hurt him. My son is dead because of you!”


“Please sir,” Kagome said and inwardly winced when his furious eyes lighted on her. “This isn’t helping. You’re upsetting-“


“You don’t know anything-“ Ambassador Wey interrupted with a guttural snarl. “I’ll never see my son grow up! He’ll never finish high school, never go to college! He’ll never-“ His voice cracked and he visibly struggled to stay calm, tears that were hidden behind his fury now threatening to come to the surface. “He’ll never have a girlfriend, never play on a team...”


“Wey-san, it’s ok to cry,” Kagome replied softly as she held out her handkerchief. He waved it away and pulled out one of his own, his much richer and sophisticated than her simple white cotton lace.


“You don’t understand,” Ambassador Wey finally sniffed out. “Terrance was my pride, my joy. I loved him. I always knew that, despite how many people respected me in a day, I knew that Terrance respected me because I was Dad. He...he was taken from me and no one tried to help him.” He broke down finally, his knees collapsing underneath him and his sobs sending him to the ground at Kagome’s feet.


Kagome kneeled in front of him and hugged him. “Terrance was a great kid,” Kagome offered in comfort. “He was so smart and his poetry was beautiful. I’ll...I’ll miss him too.”


“How did you-“ He sniffed and blew his nose. “How did you know my son? Were you one of his teachers?”


“I was his social worker.” Kagome flinched at the hard look that suddenly steeled his eyes, the grief and pain shut away again as he pushed her away from him.


“Where were you?” he accused as he stood up and towered over her. “Where were you when my son was in pain and he needed you?!”


“Sir, I-“


“None of you, NONE OF YOU WERE THERE WHEN HE NEEDED YOU!!!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE WAS CRYING OUT FOR HELP?!!”

“I-I-“ Kagome found herself with nothing to say, the abrupt sense of guilt sealing her mouth shut and her throat closed before Kouga finally appeared at her side.


“Hey man,” Kouga said as he put down his cup of water and held his arm across the ambassador’s chest. “It’s not Kagome’s fault. She wasn’t even there. If you want to blame someone blame me.”


“You two,” Ambassador Wey glowered at Kagome and Ms. Wey as he attempted to sidestep Kouga. “You stood by and did nothing while that bastard hurt my son. You knew of what he was doing and you left him there.”


“No sir,” Kagome said with a weak shake of her head. “We tried to help. We tried to-“


SILENCE!!! You didn’t try! You left my son and look what happened!” He shoved an angry, shaking hand toward Terrance’s picture. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY SON!!!”


His words were like a slap in the face to Kagome, who sat on the floor where he left her stunned as Kouga and the ambassador’s aides tried in vain to calm the man down. ‘I...I don’t know...is it...’


“I’ll never forgive you!” Ambassador Wey shouted when Kouga and the aides began to escort the distraught father out of the room. “Either of you! Never! You killed my son and I’ll never forgive you!!!”


)-(


‘Well whatever it was, I sure wish it hadn’t happened,’ Kikyou replied with a thoughtful look. ‘Have you thought of anything yet?’


‘No.’


‘I thought not. Let me try something.’ Sesshoumaru watched as a foggy version of Kikyou appeared by the bed behind Kagome, her image fading and reappearing like clouds over the sun before it finally settled. ‘Now don’t worry Sesshoumaru,’ Kikyou said before placing her ghostly fingers over Kagome’s temples. ‘This won’t hurt her a bit.’


‘What are you doing?’ Sesshoumaru asked. He stood by while she chanted, her voice no more than a soft whisper as her fingers began to glow. Kagome sniffed and her eyes drooped shut, the hand that held her pillow in a tight fist loosening until it finally slipped to the comforter below. Her heartbeat slowed and Kagome was asleep before she could protest.


‘What did you do?’ Sesshoumaru demanded as Kikyou faded back into his mind. ‘Did you hurt her miko?’


‘Of course not,’ Kikyou huffed in insult. ‘Now why would I do something like that?’


‘I do not know,’ Sesshoumaru quipped dryly. ‘Why do you do many of the inane things you do?’


‘Why are you such a jerk?’ Kikyou snapped before answering his question. ‘I cast a sleeping spell on her. Kagome’s mind is under a lot of stress and the only cure for it is sleep. She should wake up once she heals.’


Sesshoumaru thought to berate her but sighed instead and returned his head to his paws. ‘After all,’ he said to himself while Kikyou hummed in his mind’s background. ‘it is too late to prevent her from casting the spell. I suppose there is no harm done so long as Kagome returns to normal.’ He yawned and closed his eyes, boredom already settling over him and the quiet room around him. ‘A little nap should not be of any harm either,’ he decided with another yawn.


‘I totally agree,’ Kikyou said as Sesshoumaru settled down on the bed. ‘You sleep and I’ll keep a look out on this end.’


II


‘Today is a new day,’ Kagome said to herself as she rose from her bed. ‘Today, I’m going to take a shower, go to work and spend some time with Chance. I’ve neglected him for so long and he’s bound to forget who I am if I keep this up.’ She glanced at her bedside clock and grimaced at the time. ‘1:04? It’s definitely too late to go to work.’ She pulled herself out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom, her eyes blearily shut as she attempted to remember what day it was.

‘I must have been asleep for a while,’ she thought as she turned on the shower’s hot water. ‘Most likely an entire day. I’ve never slept that long in my life.’ Kagome found that even though the guilt she felt over Terrance was still there, it wasn’t as heavy and consuming as it had been the previous days. She nodded to herself when the water temperature met to her satisfaction, shed her old bedclothes and stepped into the shower.


‘I can’t help but look back,’ she thought as the warm water beat down on her lowered head. ‘Is there something I could have done differently? Was there something I could have said, a judge I could have talked to that maybe could have done something to keep him in foster care? Would foster care have been the right choice in the first place?’


She groaned miserably and finished her shower, the scent of her shower gel somewhat comforting her nerves before she finally stepped out of the water and dried off, wrapped a towel around her hair, one around her torso and left the steaming hot room for the coolness of her bedroom. She stared out the window at the snow that was still on the ground, a slight smile sneaking across her features when a large part of her white backyard began to move.


‘Now what is he doing out there?’ she wondered as Chance dashed from one side of the yard to the other. ‘If I didn’t know better, I would swear that dog was exercising.’ She laughed out loud and walked away from the window to finish drying off and get dressed. It didn’t take her long to hop into the velvet midnight blue jogging suit she found in her closet, her feet bare and her t-shirt showing underneath her unzipped jacket as she began to wander the house. Her office and it’s digital calendar were her first stop. She gasped in alarm as she stared at the date, realizing that the eight, maybe nine hour rest she thought she had had actually lasted a day and a half. ‘I’ve been asleep since Wednesday?!’ she realized with a gasp. ‘Oh my God. Well...that would explain that large knot I found in my hair.’ She giggled at that and tapped her answering machine, deciding to leave her odd slumber as the first of her messages began to play.


Kagome smiled when Shippou’s voice played through the room, his excitement over his science fair project (How Long Will It Take for Mold to Grow on Peanut Butter, Bread and Soda Pop? A Scientific Journey Through The World of Gross) and how hard he was currently working on the written parts of the experiment. ‘I’ll have to call him later on and see if he needs any help,’ she decided as she opened the blinds. The sun shone bright in spite of the gray clouds surrounding it, it’s determination to bring warmth and cheer inspiring to Kagome as Souta complained next about how difficult it was to check on her.


Apparently he and the rest of her family had gotten worried about her during her rest, so her mother had sent Souta to check on her. He complained about her having her screen door locked and how he had to climb over her fence. The climb must not have gone as successfully as he would have hoped and according to him he managed to fall head first into her frozen rose bush.


“And you know how I hate that bush!” Kagome laughed as Souta continued to gripe. “I swear, I’m chucking that bastard into the nearest trashcan...as soon as I find Mom’s shovel. You know, I haven’t seen it since the last time Sango and Miroku were here. Now that I think about it, that explains a lot. Seriously Sis, we’re worried about you. Okaa-san and Oji-san are driving me nuts. Call when you get this.”


He hung up and another voice took its place, this one from Mr. Naraku. She tuned it out as she thought over Souta’s message and made a mental note to call him while Naraku’s message ended and Sango’s cheery voice danced into the room.


“Hey Kagome! Um...I guess I don’t have to say that we’re worried about you huh? You looked so pale when you cam back from Terrance’s service so it wasn’t a real surprise when you didn’t come to work. Don’t worry though. I told Kaede what happened and she totally understands. She said take all the time you need to come back, not like you’re going to. Knowing you, you’re probably up right now ironing out your red cape and washing out your blue tights. Hey, remember: It’s not your fault ok? We can’t do everything and we’re not Superman ... Superwoman ... Supergi-eh! You know what I’m trying to say! We’re not them! If you ever do get depressed, just think about all the kids you do help! That’s what I do anyway.


“Oh! Oh yeah! Um...I’ve been meaning to tell you that I finally picked out my invitations! They’re so cute! They’re chocolate roses that the flower shop downtown agreed to deliver. Each one is going to have an R. S. V. P. on it! It’s going to be so cute! I know, you’re probably like-“


“Jeez, she’s still going,” Kagome commented. “Man, I thought the machine would have cut off by now.”


“ ‘Well Gee Sango, you waited a little late to send them since the wedding is in the first week of March.’ Well guess what? Your cousin, your cousin FORGOT to rent his bloody tux! On top of that, Souta doesn’t have one, Kageromaru doesn’t have one and Kohaku’s is the wrong size! What in the hell is WRONG with the male mind these days? I mean come on! We’re only getting married in a few weeks!”


Kagome’s laugh continued at Sango’s frustration though she sympathized with her best friend and decided to have a little ‘talk’ with her cousins and brother about their little memory problem before the day was over with.


“Oh, and that’s not the only problem! My dress, your dress, Eri’s dress, and my mother’s dress haven’t come in! That’s the ENTIRE WEDDING PARTY except for Roki’s mom!”


“Oh dear,” Kagome muttered softly. “Sango doesn’t sound happy. I can’t say I feel entirely sorry for the bridal shop though.”

“So we can’t get fitted for either of our dresses, which don’t come back until three days after the wedding date! Why did we choose that place again? Oh well. It doesn’t matter now. We’ve moved the day from March to April. Speaking of people hooking up, who are you bringing to the wedding? Is it going to be that cute psycho cop or is it going to be that Mystery Man you refuse to talk about?” Kagome groaned miserably at Sango’s maniacal laugh and wondered if it were too late to swap best friends. “Oh well. I don’t care who you bring, just make sure you don’t come alone. I can’t wait for the dresses to come! And I can’t wait to talk to you! I gotta go, but I miss you! Promise you’ll call me back, ok?” The answering machine finally hung up on her, the message box more than full as the ‘No New Message’ icon flashed on the screen.


“Ok,” Kagome said as she deleted the messages. “I’m gonna have to call her too. Seems I’ve missed a lot. I’ve got a lot to catch up on!” She raised a single determined finger, her image gallant, brave and determined...


Until her stomach growled.


“Um...but maybe I’d better eat first,” she said sheepishly as her blush faded from her cheeks. She thundered down the stairs and walked through her living room into the kitchen just as Sesshoumaru came in from outside. He shook the snow from his fur and growled when she screamed in shock.


“Chance!” Kagome squeaked as icy crystals stuck to her skin and hair. “Couldn’t you have done that outside?”


‘Hey, she’s awake!’ Kikyou said as Sesshoumaru ignored Kagome’s complaints. ‘See, I told you she would be ok!’


‘Quite,’ Sesshoumaru replied and watched while Kagome began riffling through the refrigerator. Kikyou huffed irritably and a mental image of her pouting flashed in his mind’s eye.


‘Can’t you be a nice doggy and say ‘Thank you’ for once?’ she grumbled. Sesshoumaru growled at her then ignored her when Kagome sat a little dish with his food in it in the microwave.


“I’m really sorry about yesterday Chance,” she said as she turned it on. “I bet you’re starving.”


‘Nothing I am not accustomed to,’ Sesshoumaru quipped and growled again when Kikyou snickered. ‘Now what is it?’


‘You haven’t been hungry since you came here,’ Kikyou reminded him. ‘From eating this specially mixed food to McDonald’s sausage, egg and cheese biscuits, you’ve become rather portly there pup.’


‘Quiet woman,’ Sesshoumaru warned with an inward sigh. He wouldn’t admit it but he had noticed the slight pudge at his waist, which would explain the laps he was doing when Kagome first saw him.


“You know boy, I’m thinking about changing your diet,” Kagome interjected though his thoughts. “Maybe it’s time to. What do you think of the B. A. R. F. diet? That’s what a lot of trainers feed their show dogs.”


‘It sounds like ‘b-a-r-f’,’ Sesshoumaru quipped as Kagome sat his bowl down in front of him. Kagome gave him a loving pat on the head before setting out to find her own lunch, quickly managing to throw together and partially eat an omelette when the doorbell rang.


“Now who could that be,” she wondered aloud as she stood up and placed her chopsticks on the edge of her plate. She sidestepped Sesshoumaru when he decided to follow her, completely unaffected when he decided to thread himself between her legs in an attempt to reach the door before her. He jumped on the couch, then back down on the floor when he realized he couldn’t see anything and waited for Kagome to open the door.


“Hi,” she greeted the mailman standing on the other side. “May I help you?”


“I have a delivery for you Higurashi-san,” the elderly gentleman replied. Kagome nodded, opened the door and allowed the man to step inside, her sense of safety assured as the mailman gawked at Sesshoumaru.


“Is he safe/” he stuttered nervously. Kagome laughed and gave Sesshoumaru’s side a loving pat. “Who, him? Sure, Chance is alright. He won’t bother you.”


The mailman laughed with her, although he was still nervous. “That’s good to know,” he said and smiled down at Sesshoumaru. He ‘woof’ed in response and sat down at Kagome’s feet, his golden eyes taking on a bored expression as the mailman handed Kagome a form to sign.

“Here you go,” she said when she handed the clipboard with the form on it back to him. The mailman read over the form, nodded in satisfaction and held out a large mailing envelope. He jumped back slightly when Sesshoumaru grasped it instead of Kagome, his sharp pearly white fangs closing gently over the package and his eyes closing in pleasure when Kagome gave him a grateful scratch behind his ears. “Thank you Chance,” she cooed when he dutiful handed over the package. She turned to the mailman with a smile, sympathy written all over her face at the snowflakes that had yet to melt on his coat. “Would you like something before you go?” she offered. “Some hot chocolate maybe?”


“Well I don’t know Higurashi-san, I really must be-“


“I don’t use a mix you know,” she tempted with a friendly smile. “I make mine from cocoa powder. I even use real marshmallows.”


“Real marshmallows?”


“Mmmmhmm. It won’t take me but a few seconds to fix it.”


“Well...alright I suppose.”


“Wonderful!” Kagome cried out and clapped her hands in celebration. “I’ll be right back! The bathroom’s right here in the hallway!” She left the man in the living room with Chance, once again sure of her safety with her faithful furry guardian watching over her and the rest of the house. The mailman was on his way a few minutes later, with his warm cup of hot chocolate inside one of the D. A. R. E. Travel mugs she had left over from her volunteer work from last summer. She waved as he drove away, completely unaware of the satisfaction radiating off of a certain someone as he stood behind her.


‘See? I like her this way,’ Kikyou decided firmly...


And that Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but agree to.


“Now, let’s see,” Kagome muttered to herself as she closed and locked the door. She ripped the top of the envelope open and peered inside, her face the perfect picture of confusion before she found a seat at the end of the sofa. “What’s this?”


She pulled free another envelope, this one a small white security envelope with her name scribbled on it in hurried cursive, and an easel-sized sketchpad with a forest green cover. “I wonder who sent me this...” She opened the white envelope first, figuring it had something to do with the sketchpad, and began to read.


To Higurashi-san,


First, I want to apologize to you for my ex-husband’s behavior at Terrance’s wake. He’s so hurt and angry, not that I can blame him of course. Still, I wanted you to know that I think he’s wrong about you. I remember when I finally regained custody of Terrance and how angry I was when you attempted to have the judge reconsider her decision. I remember thinking, ‘What right does she have to judge me? What right did she have to say that I couldn’t raise my own son?’ Now that I look back on it, I realize that you were right. I didn’t deserve to have my son back. I didn’t deserve him at all.


I see him whenever I close my eyes. My smiling, laughing baby is gone. All I can see are his eyes and the pain he felt. I don’t see the blood, I don’t see Susa or the other officers’ faces, I only see those eyes of his. Ira’s right. It is my fault my boy is dead.


But I’m not writing you to tell you that Higurashi-san. I’m writing to tell you that I’m moving out of the country. I’m going to visit a cousin of mine that lives in Sydney and hopefully find the means to start a new life. Rest assured that I’ll never forget Terrance. I’ll always love and remember him. I’ll live the rest of my life for him, the life that I would gladly trade for his. I’m taking everything of his but this sketchpad with me. I think that you could appreciate it, that you would need it just as much as I need to-


Kagome blinked when a drop of water splashed on the paper, then another before she realized she was crying. She wiped her tears away quickly and angrily sighed as she shook off the ink-tinted tears and continued to read.


-get away from everything that would prevent me from mourning my son in peace. I wanted to say thank you too, for everything you tried to do for my Terrance. I know for a fact that he adored and respected you and that he wouldn’t want you to be sad for long. One of his favorite things to say was, “Don’t worry Mama, the sun is too stubborn to let it rain all the time.”


Have a good life Higurashi-san. It may be raining now, but remember...

It can’t rain all the time.


Sincerely,

Diana Wey


Kagome closed her eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it just as slowly as she drew it in while she calmed down the tightening in her heart. She gently placed the letter back in it’s envelope, the sudden reverence in the act a surprise to Sesshoumaru as she picked up the sketchpad and began to flip through it’s pages. The first page was of a rose, the entire drawing done in charcoal. It’s petals were open slightly and a hand tightly grasped the rose’s thorny stem. Shaded droplets of blood fell from the hand onto the stem, staining it a tone darker than the rest of the flower. The next few pictures were of various flowers, animals and wildlife, with a sketch of a beautiful lake with trees and a mountain in it’s background.


The next pictures were darker, more gothic in nature with demons and dragons covering the pages. The few people in the drawings screamed their agony as their souls were gleefully ripped away by the vicious creatures. Sesshoumaru jumped up beside her and flinched at the blood and gore, wondering to himself how a teenager living in the modernized 21st century could know so much about violence and pain. Each one held a quote describing Terrance’s feelings, what inspired him to draw it and what the title of the picture was. She flipped through the disturbing images, not entirely sure what it was that disturbed her more about them before coming to a stop at a blank page. She flipped it over and found beautiful writing. Kagome traced the various gentle loops and graceful curves affectionately, forgetting to read the words themselves for a moment before coming to her senses and holding the pad to the side.


The Maiden


The next series of pages were beautiful works of art. Images of fields, valleys and mountains erased the torture from her mind. The detail of each work was exquisite right down to the teeniest flower and the most insignificant fish. “Oh wow,” she couldn’t help but breathe. “They’re beautiful, right Chance?”


“Woof.”


Kagome laughed and kissed his forehead, then flipped the page and ‘awwww’ed at the giant rabbit that awaited her. It reminded her of a story her father used to tell her before bed about a stuffed bunny made of velveteen. It was her favorite story and she would wait until well after midnight for him to come home just so he could read it to her. She could almost hear his voice in her head, a gentle smile slowly growing on her lips as she remembered the way his voice rose and fell with the story.


It was the next page that surprised her, her mouth falling open in shock as what looked to be her office loomed in front of her. The edge of Sango’s desk (and the damned Furby she constantly begged her to get rid of) peered into the picture from the right side with the side of Kagome’s desk and chair in the middle of the picture. The focus of the drawing was actually standing on the left side, where a full figure sketch of herself stood looking out the window at the city beyond. Kagome flipped the page and found herself staring at herself again, this time at a close up profile.

‘This can’t be me,’ she told herself as she stared in awe. ‘I mean, it’s much too pretty to be me.’


She moved to flip the page again but caught it when the light shining from the hallway behind it revealed writing on the back. She turned the sketchpad over and read what appeared to be a diary of a sort on the back.


This is my social worker, Kagome Higurashi. She says to just call her Kagome, since Higurashi-san is too formal for her. Kagome’s my first social worker and the kids at the foster home say that Kagome’s one of the best. I don’t know yet, but I think she’s one of the cutest. Dude, I wish I were just a little bit older, you know? Hahahah. Like she’d fall for a dork like me. But hey, there’s nothing wrong with dreaming, right?


Kagome blushed darkly at the compliment, her cheeks flushed and hot as her embarrassment shone on her features.


At least there’s one good thing about this. Man, I miss home. The woman that runs the foster home tried to explain to me why I had to be here like I was a three year old or something. I know why I’m here. It’s because my mom’s new boyfriend is a violent asshole. Duh, you know? And here I was thinking that I was here because of my grades. I did flunk that social studies test last week.


Kagome smiled at his dark sense of humor, his ability to laugh even when he was unhappy inspiring.


Hey, I don’t believe in complaining though. I don’t have time for it. Robert Frost didn’t complain. Langston Hughes didn’t complain. Ok, they complained, but they wrote it down. That’s what I’m going to do too. Anyway, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Kagome. Her eyes are light, just like mine, except for hers are more blue with gray and mine are kinda like rusted steel. That’s what I tell the girls anyway. Lol. They like that idea. Can’t blame them really. They remind me of a sword though, one with dried blood on the blade’s edge. Dad says that one of the ways a warrior was judged was in the way he treated his sword. The worst the sword, the more dishonorable the man.

‘No truer words have been spoken,’ Sesshoumaru agreed with a nod. ‘Of course that wasn’t the only way to determine someone’s honor.’


But I don’t want to talk about eyes right now. Well, at least not mine. I didn’t tell you that she likes to play video games did I? Man, the first places we went to was an arcade! It’s the one on the east side of town called Johnny’s Escape and man, is it awesome! They’ve got a lot of new games like Tekken, Mortal Kombat and the new Tony Hawk! TONY FRIGGING HAWK!!! How cool is that?!!


Um...she kicked my butt in it though. Sucks.


I don’t want to talk about that either. She did wipe the floor with me. Man, I hate Bam!


Kagome actually giggled, unaware of Sesshoumaru’s confusion while she remembered that and the round of milkshakes she bought to make up for her ‘stroke of good luck’.


But I noticed something about her while we were together. It’s her eyes. She smiles and laughs all the time, but her eyes are so sad. It’s like something’s wrong. I wonder what it is. Maybe she’s like me. I feel sometimes like I don’t deserve to be happy, like something’s wrong with me and that’s why things are going the way they are. Maybe she feels the same way, like she’s not enough for something. When I first met her, when the woman that runs the home and I first walked into her office I mean, she was staring out the window like she was looking for something. Maybe she’s missing something.


‘Missing something?’ Kagome wondered to herself. ‘No, I don’t think I’m missing anything. Wanting something thought...yeah.’ She nodded her head wistfully as cool hazel eyes stared back at her. ‘Yeah, I guess there’s something I want...’


Well, whatever it is she deserves it. Everybody deserves what they want out of life. My therapist (Yeah, I got a therapist now. Somebody fricking pinch me) says that thinking that you’re not worthy of something or that you can’t have something makes it so that you can’t have it. That the only thing that’s stopping you from getting what you want is you and that you’ll never know what you can do or what you get unless you get your balls together and ask. Um...Meh. The balls part is mine, but the rest is the same!


I think that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop thinking about what I can’t have and start thinking about the things I can. Besides, everyone can’t do everything right? I’ve always wanted to sing, but I can’t (trust me on this one) and Jun’s always wanted to write but he can’t. But I write the songs and he sings them. Not a bad partnership if I do say so myself. I think that’s what Kagome needs to do too. She should find herself a friend so she can get ahold of whatever it is she wants. You never know.


Next time though, I’m gonna draw her with a smile.


Kagome flipped to the next page, the next page and the next before reaching the back of the book. Each page after his last journal entry was blank, each page devoid of the beautiful drawings, the poetry and his thoughts. “He,” Kagome whispered sadly when she returned to the final page. “He never finished.” She blankly stared at Terrance’s journal entry, his scribbled cursive calling out to her as her own thoughts tumbled around her head. Sesshoumaru yawned, laid down with his head against her side and waited to come out of whatever stupor she was in.


“I-“ she said after a few minutes. “I’ll put this away. I wouldn’t want something to damage it.” Kagome stood up , opened the laundry room door and pulled a cardboard box with her father’s things down from a high shelf.


‘That’s what she keeps her possessions in?’ Kikyou gasped dramatically. ‘What happens if something happens to the box?’


‘What are you fretting about now?’ Sesshoumaru growled after a deep inhale. ‘It cannot be as important as the amount of noise it’s causing.’


‘But Sesshoumaru,’ Kikyou whined miserably. ‘Haven’t you ever thought about what would happen if something happened to that box? Come on, think about it. That box has every treasured anything that Kagome’s dad ever had. Haven’t you seen what’s inside it?’


Sesshoumaru mentally went over the box’s contents, the sudden dawning of something as he remembered the old movies, a black velvet box, an old volume of children’s stories and (of all things) a violin case.


‘And she’s putting Terrance’s book in there too,’ Kikyou said when Sesshoumaru remained silent. ‘Can you imagine what she’d do if, say, the washing machine blew up and water got all over that box?’


‘Washing machines don’t ‘blow up’ git,’ Sesshoumaru reminded her absently, but pondered over the fragile box. Kikyou sat by and waited, completely unaffected by his rudeness and temper.


‘I know Sesshoumaru’s going to do something,’ she said to herself while she relaxed. ‘The full moon’s only in a few days. He should have something by then. All it took was to plant the seed...’



III


Sesshoumaru stood on the other side of the door, his hand poised to knock but frozen in it’s attempt. ‘Should I?’ he wondered as he stood there in the dark. ‘I mean, she has had such a rough month, and I am sure she does not need-‘


He paused and stepped back when the door opened and Kagome stepped outside, her keys in her hand and her back toward him as she pulled the door closed. “That darned dog,” she mumbled irritably. “Where did he go? How does a white dog managed to disappear like that?”



Sesshoumaru smirked while she fussed and figured that any thought he had to doing something else for the evening would have to wait for another time. “Good evening Kagome. Going somewhere?”


KAH-YAAAA!”

He laughed while Kagome struggled to catch her breath and slow her heartbeat, her blue eyes narrowed slightly before widening in surprise. “Sesshoumaru? What are you doing here?”


“I am visiting you,” he answered smugly. “Where are you off to in such a hurry? Have we not discussed this?”


“I’m off looking for Chance again,” she growled in a huff. “I just don’t understand it. Where does that dog disappear to? I got home and he wasn’t here. He probably hasn’t been here all day! Why does he wait until dark to pull a Houdini?” She frowned thoughtfully, her hands tucked deep inside the sleeves of her coat while Sesshoumaru looked on. “Maybe I should have named him that instead.”

“No, I think Chance is fine,” Sesshoumaru disagreed with a mental shiver of disgust. It must have shown in his voice because Kagome laughed at him. “What?”


“You look so...affronted,” she giggled. “I wasn’t serious. I don’t think Chance would respond to anything else. He is a rather willful dog. At least he isn’t boring. Well,” she sighed heavily and returned her key to the lock. “I guess there’s no use looking for him. He’ll come back...so long as Mr. Naraku doesn’t catch him.”


“I am sure your beloved pet is smart enough to avoid capture,” Sesshoumaru assured her. Kagome laughed in response and turned around just as he stooped down to pick up a large cardboard box.


“What’s that?” she asked while she held the door open for him. He struggled not to collide into her with the end of the box, finding the box considerably heavier than Inuyasha said. Sesshoumaru silently cursed his humanity and the hanyou’s absentmindedness before setting it down in the middle of Kagome’s living room with a heavy thump, missing her coffee table by mere inches. “I could have helped you, you know.”


“Nonsense,” Sesshoumaru commented while he shrugged out of his black car coat.


“Why not?” Kagome asked and closed the door while he draped his jacket over the back of her couch and turned to her. “Afraid that I’d be able to pick it up and make you look bad?”


He turned to glare at her and her playful smile, his mood slightly soured by his struggle as she laughed and patted his shoulder. “Don’t be such a grouch Sesshoumaru. I was only kidding.” She yawned, raised her arms over her head and stretched. “You look awfully...casual today,” she commented offhandedly as she glanced over his fire red overshirt, black ribbed tank top and khaki cargo pants. Sesshoumaru looked down at himself and shrugged. “I had time to change for once.”


“Oh. Well you look nice.”


He nodded in thanks and watched as she blushed, the light rosy hue flushed on her cheeks as she removed her jacket and hung it up in a nearby coat closet. “I didn’t have time to change,” Kagome commented as she nervously dusted off the front of her white blouse and black pencil length skirt. “You won’t think I’m rude if I go take a shower would you? I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“I would not,” Sesshoumaru replied evenly and sank down on the couch. “I will be here when you return.”


“Great! Let me just turn on the tv and...” her voice faded off as she leaned over him to grasp the remote control, her knees on the couch’s arm rest beside Sesshoumaru and her upper torso stretched across his lap. He vaguely wondered if the move was intentional or not but found his focus more on Kagome as her breasts softly grazed against his knee. The little outfit that he found to be so innocent before suddenly became a temptation. The skirt seemed so innocent earlier, both this morning when she put it on and earlier when he first entered the house, but now it seemed as if it were painted on. The fabric flowed over curved that he had to physically restrain himself from caressing and he would almost swear that the tiny bow at the top of the inch long split behind her knees was calling to him.


Sesshoumaru blinked, then scowled when Kagome stood up and retreated toward the stairs, unaware of his bout with himself as she promised to return.


‘What is wrong with me?’ Sesshoumaru wondered as he chastised himself. ‘I will not allow myself to be swayed by a woman’s charms-‘ He groaned and covered his eyes when a mental picture of Kagome walking away flashed before him, his senses and his hormones instantly protesting against his restraint while he searched for something else to be interested in.


Kagome happily bounded down the steps twenty minutes later, her mood considerably brighter and all thoughts of her wayward and beloved pooch banished from her bind with the shower’s warm blast. She hummed a light tune as she jumped from the last step and stopped as an interesting smell wafted toward her. She rounded the corner and pounced on Sesshoumaru, who was busy trying to finish the last of his egg roll with a bag of three more resting in his hand.


“Mou, you ordered Chinese and didn’t get me any?” Kagome pouted and plucked free one of the delectable treats. “I think I’m going to cry.”


“There is no need for that,” Sesshoumaru assured her as he pulled a napkin from a brown bag at his feet to wipe his hands clean. “Surely you do not believe I can eat-“


“Hey, this says that you ordered six shrimp eggrolls!” Kagome accused with a frown. “But there’s only two left! What happened to the other four?!”


“Well,” Sesshoumaru smirked arrogantly. “I did order them after all.”

“Ooooo, why you-“ She swatted his arm playfully and laughed when he attempted to swat her back, his hands barely touching the leg of her baby pink pyjama pants as she whirled past him and sat down. “Hey, what happened to that box of yours?” she wondered aloud as she checked the room for it.


“I put it away,” Sesshoumaru told her before pilfering the last of the egg rolls. “I saw no sense in it sitting in the middle of the room and knowing you, you will trip over it.”


“How rude!” Kagome nearly shouted before crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. “I’m not talking to you ever again!”


“One can only hope,” Sesshoumaru commented with a smirk and braced himself as she hit him again. “You are going to bruise my arm you know.”


“Oh please,” Kagome scoffed. “Not the great and all powerful Sesshoumaru!”


Sesshoumaru ‘hm’ed but said nothing else, his focus turning to the tv and an odd program about poisonous creatures. Kagome decided to do the same, her arms coming down to straighten the helm of her white tank top. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, both in their own little world before Kagome turned to him.


“Hey Sesshoumaru?”


“Mmm...”


“ ;How was work?”


“Um....” Sesshoumaru for once didn’t know what to say, his mind tumbling over possible answers before finally settling on, “Alright, I suppose.”


“That’s kinda vague. What I meant was what do you do exactly? You said real estate, right?”
“Well yes, that is part of it.” He turned to her with a teasing glance and said, “You know, you could always tell me about your job.” He immediately regretted it when a shadow cast itself over her eyes, the brightly twinkling blues fading to an inky darkness. “I see,” he said after he cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about-“


“No,” Kagome interrupted with a shake of her head. “I just...I really want to know more about what you do. It seems so...fascinating.”


‘I suppose it would be if I were more knowledgeable on the subject,’ Sesshoumaru determined dryly. He did decide to humor her and launched himself into the detailed explanation Inuyasha gave him a few decades prior when he first started their business. He remained vague about certain business decisions but basically gave her what he thought she wanted, completely unaware that the woman he was trying to appease had suddenly tuned him out.


‘Oh wow,’ Kagome groaned as she made herself comfortable against the cool leather. ‘I never thought it could be so...boring. Oh my God, why did I get him started?’ She watched him as he talked and listened to the sound of his voice instead of trying to understand what he was saying, figuring that if she wanted to hear legal jargon she would have dinner with Kageromaru.


‘He’s so...gorgeous,’ she thought with a gentle smile. Kagome gazed at him cautiously, worried for a moment that he would catch her staring. ‘He’s rich, he’s handsome, he’s ...what is he doing in my house?’ She quietly laughed at herself and brought her hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide it. ‘But seriously, shouldn’t he be somewhere else, like in some model’s studio surrounded by servants and expensive furniture? What is he doing in my little house? I mean, he’s so perfect-may God forbid him from finding out-so, what keeps bringing him back here?


‘And what would it be like to kiss him...’


Kagome gasped in alarm, her face instantly becoming a deep cherry and her eyes wide in surprise. “Oh man,” she groaned to herself as she ran her hands down her face. “No I didn’t just think that.”


“Think what?” Sesshoumaru asked. He had watched her for some time and thought that she was listening. So it was safe to say that he wasn’t expecting her to gasp and violently blush in the middle of his explanation of the property value on a resort island in comparison to property in a modern suburb. “What is it?” he asked as she breathed a nervous giggle. “Am I boring you? I would not blame you if I were.”


“No, no way,” Kagome assured him with a vigorous shake of her head. “I’m sorry. Please, continue. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He quirked a brow and she smiled nervously. “Please? I won’t interrupt and I’m really interested.”

Sesshoumaru agreed easily enough, though he continued to stare at her as she mentally scolded herself. ‘Great Kagome,’ she growled angrily. ‘Just make a fool of yourself why don’t you? Besides, what would he want to kiss you for? You haven’t exactly had a whole lot of practice in it, and if you had what would make you think he wouldn’t push you aside and leave? But...oooooo,’ she whimpered sadly. She sighed and attempted to clear her head and pay attention, nodding every once so often before she slipped into her thoughts again.


‘But what would he do?’ Kagome wondered wistfully. ‘I mean, if I ever did kiss him? What would he say? Would he get mad? I’ve got to get my mind off this,’ she decided with a determined frown. ‘If I don’t, I’ll just frustrate and upset myself and then I’ll look like a crazy person. Then again,’ she said as a thin gray line of bravery reared it’s head. ‘Maybe...just maybe...I mean, the worst he can say is no right? And what have I got to lose exactly...except his friendship. Oh man...’


Kagome looked up and couldn’t help but feel the pull she felt for him, the certain something that attracted her despite his episodes of rude and pompous behavior. She smiled at him again when he glanced at her and felt herself almost melt when he smiled back. That certain ‘something’ was practically jerking her now and before she could stop herself she took a deep breath, leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his.


Sesshoumaru stopped mid-sentence, it and his subject matter tossed to the wind as he sat there in total, round-eyed and slack-jawed shock. “Oh man,” Kagome groaned aloud when she saw the look on his face. “Sesshoumaru I’m so sorry! I-I don’t know what made me-eep!” She squeaked in surprise when he grasped her arm and jerked her against him, her hand coming up to grasp his shirt to keep herself from falling over. He sealed their lips together before she could protest and the same spark that shot through him soon found a place within her. She jerked almost instantly, her back ramrod straight and her eyes stretched wide before her eyes fluttered closed.


Her hand released Sesshoumaru’s shirt and found a better place at his shoulder while his remaining free hand fisted at the pink material at her hip. Kagome opened her mouth slightly when she felt him begin to nibble on her lower lip, but he chose to trace the inside of her lips with his tongue before pulling away from her. “So,” she heard him say with a voice that was nothing more than a husky whisper. “Do you still wish to apologize?”


Kagome thought a moment then shook her head, a bright and happy smile lighting her face as she exclaimed, “No! That was great!” Sesshoumaru chuckled at her enthusiasm and shook his head as she picked up a strand of his midnight hair and began to twirl it around her finger.


“What do you want to do now?” he asked and laughed outright when she chirped


“Let’s do it again!”


(End chapter)
SF: See, a happier chapter right there.


Rin: Guardian-sama? I like this story. Rin wishes she could be in this story more.


SF: Well Rin darling, I do have a plan for you to appear in the story again. As a matter of fact, you show up once near the middle of the story (cause we’re not there yet) and again on the very last chapter.


Shippou: What about me? When do I get a bigger part?


SF: Well, you’re mentioned more frequently now and you’re going to come full swing into the story after the middle.


Shippou/Rin: Oh, ok then Guardian-sama. (scamper off to go play with Little Muse)


Inu-chan: Hey SF? When am I coming?


Sesshou: You do not matter.


Inu-chan: What was that, pooch?


SF: (before a fight can break out) Hey, chill out. Believe it or not, you’re in the next chapter Inuyasha.


Inu-chan: I am? Hey, it’s about time!


SF: (rolls eyes) (Inu-chan walks away) The summary for the next chapter is below.


Valentine’s Day finally rolls around and surprises abound for Kagome and Sango. Miroku has something up his sleeve for his Butterfly bride and a certain someone has something special planned for Kagome. Even Shippou has a little gift while Sesshoumaru takes a moment to come up with a surprise of his own.


Next chapter: Chapter Eighteen: Is this Love?


(Reviews)



Mediaminer:


MidNight-Kitsune, Gissela, draegon, WingedGoddess, TheAlmightyAya-sama, sessy stalker, Zirra Nova, Punk'd Up Personel, Sorelliena, InuYashasLoveLorn, inu fan, draegon, & JessicaShade: Thanks you guys for the reviews! I totally appreciate it! I’m feeling lots better now, so another chapter should be on the way.


bIsHiE_hUnTa: Ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*ow*


mok ey: I totally agree. Yume-chan was so nice to draw it for me. She's one of my favorite artists. Her style reminds me of the Precious Moments dolls.

Lavender-chan: Another converted to the wonders of S/K! Muhahahahahahahaha! My reign of terror continues! Muhahahahaha-cough-cough-gag

moon-bunny735 : Poetry...poetry...oh, are you talking about that one little line? Um, that was me. I personally think my poetry is mediocre at best but I'm glad you liked it.

SilverShadowKitsune: I'm really really sorry about that. I promise that the chapters will be much happier. Well...I can't exactly keep that promise. There will be three more really sad chapters, but they're not coming for a while now. I'd say that the next sad chapter should come in the month of June. (the story's June, not you know, the actual June)

Megz: You and me both.


aquatic wicth liploss: Um, I normally type my story on my computer, then load it from a Rich Text File. It's the only thing that works for me. Why, are the directions on the loading site not working?


ficfan: I was, but not now. It's more my personal life that keeps me from updating. Things get hectic at home and by the time I fic it I've completely lost track of whatever it was I was supposed to do.
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