InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Horrible Hair Hullabaloo ❯ The Horrible Hair Hullabaloo part 5 ( Chapter 6 )

Twilight_Dragon- I just wanna say something ironic.

-checks ages of everyone an myself-

WHY AM I LIKE THE ONLY KID IN THIS FREAKIN' FAIRY TALE?!?!? IT AIN'T

FAIR!!!

IDontKnow- -throws the one other thing off faewillow and grabs the hand

grenade and throws it away just as it goes B O O M.-

It is sometimes inconvenient to have one of these...but it does come in handy to save someone LOL. In fact, I just got to save Bermuda!

-suddenly sees Twilight Dragon through the trees- BANG!

Twilight_Dragon- -drops to the ground to avoid being blasted-

IDontKnow- Hehehe I LOVE doing that!

-starts looking for SakuraSango-Fly-Girl-

Twilight_Dragon- -suddenly turns back human-

YAY!!!

-grabs a machine gun out of nowhere and starts to hunt for IDK-

I'm gonna get you…

IDontKnow- -Materializes the giant Cauldron which has become so loved and familiar in this story and puts it over himself*

HeeHee Armor Plating! HeeHeeHee.

-digs a tunnel from under the giant cauldron and comes up next to faewillow-

I need to borrow one of your special talents...-crawls half-into fae's Bermuda Black Hole, and booby traps its entrance-

-Looking up at faewillow* if you see Twilight-whatsisface around, don't tell him that I decided to blast and run! And hit him on the head with a sink for me will you?

-Hands fae a tape recorder on which is Twilight Dragon's voice saying SESSHOMARU IS A REAL SISSY GIRLEYMAN!-

When SakuraSango shows up, play this for her and tell her to go bop TD for me! And use this tape as evidence!

-dives through the pocket, straight into the arms of Yura, Kagura, Kanna, and Naraku-

I was SAFER with these guys LOL

IDontKnow- -IN Bermuda comes out of the end of the dimensional tunnel and lands squarely in the middle of a table at which are seated Naraku, Kagura, Kanna, and Yura of the Hair. A puddle of muddled Mai Tai's is the result-

Voices- What the Heck are YOU doing HERE? You spilled my drink! I hate You! The imbecile should learn how to land when he comes out of a dimensional gate!

IDontKnow- -so here I sit, surrounded by the Ultimate Force of Evil, an incensed Mistress of Wind (with a handful of very sharp blades, the Mistress of Nothing, and a woman who scares the daylights out of my follicles which frolic in fright whenever they see her! There is no chance of escape-

Uh, Hi guys and gals. HeeHee.

CeeKari- -CeeKari suddenly appears out of nowhere- Hi guys, it's been awhile... -looks around- Wow. This is a mess. Maybe I'll come back later...-disappears in a puff of green smoke, leaving behind a small present wrapped in shiny foil paper-

Faewillow- -pulls tape player out of her (other) pocket-

-Puts it IDK's tape & puts player on "loop" setting so the tape will play continuously-

-From the speakers comes the sound of IDK singing a Karaoke version of the theme song to Silver Spoons-

-discovers that the stop button is jammed, the tape won't come out, and the d@mned thing won't turn off-

AAAARRRRRUUUUGH!

-pulls IDK out of her pocket-

Wrong tape, dude.

Twilight_Dragon- -shoots tape player-

There.

-gets out indestructible boom box with a setting of 1000000000 volume level-

-gets out a tape with IDK saying, "I WANNA @#%* SESSHOMARU!!!"-

-gets ear plugs and stuffs them in ears, then turns puts tape in boom box and breaks the stop/eject button, and plays-

-goes off to buy some sniggers to drink(and also hunt down IDK still)-

faewillow- -sprinkles faerie dust on boom box-

-starts to mutter incantation but sneezes in the middle of it-

-boom box starts to turn into a newt, but after the sneeze it becomes an old juke box (really old... it takes DIMES) starts playing the Neutron Dance instead-

well, at least it's better than before...

-looks at IDK-

guess you'd better keep hiding under this One Other Thing...

^_^

IDontKnow- -Taking the wand from Faewillow and a half-vial of Faerie dust left over from the New York Trip IDK takes one gram of the dust and sprinkles it on one of Naraku's insects-

Go and Find Dark Dragon or Twilight Blazer or whatever his name is, then when you DO find him -whispers quietly to the insect- And then -whispers some more- Got it? Okay, now go!

-IDK sidles up to the bar and orders a root beer in a little umbrella glass-

-Nursing his uh, drink, IDK wanders down the beach- Bermuda is lovely this time of year... OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-as he scans the beach, contemplating future cortices, a sight more hideous than the flaming Hindenburg meets his eye-

NARAKU IN A THONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-IDK takes a sea shell and begins to gouge out his eyes-

Well, I can still have MUSIC to drown out the screaming in my head

-conjures up a Jukebox with Rogers and Hammerstein on the play list. Pulls out a pic of Faewillow- This is a better sight to see than Naraku in a Thong!

-What'll I Do begins to play as IDK breaks down in tears-

Twilight_Dragon- -smirks as he sees one of Naraku's insects-

Can I?

Inuyasha- -comes out of nowhere- Sure, here. -Throws Tetsusaiga to TD-

Twilight_Dragon- Thanks. WIND SCAR!!! -does a very powerful attack just to cut off one of its wings-

Bug- -flies away-

Twilight_Dragon- -follows-

Lead me to your master...

IDontKnow- Technically a human can not transform the sword BUT

-Still reeling from the sight of Naraku in a THONG (didn't cover NEARLY enough, I can tell you that, that I can!) throws up into a trash can and remembers that it was a good thing that he sprinkled some of Faewillow's dust on that insect.-

Whoever comes across that insect will have a hard time finding me, I hope someone like Dark_Blazer, or Twilight_Dragon will follow Inuyasha's example and try to follow it back to me. The result should be fun indeed

Hey Yura! Gotta tell you, you look better in a Thong than He does!

-points to Naraku-

Naraku- -rolls over and looks up at IDK. He speaks quietly and ominously- I would strongly advise you to keep your opinions to yourself.

-casts a spell on IDK that both shrinks his head and expands something else.-

IDontKnow- -finds himself wearing only a bright pink Speedo, made of Lycra-Spandex-

That should give the girls something to be frightened of!

-but the Law of Unintended Consequences is still in force, because IDK is soon at the head of a veritable ARMY of cortices-

-sticks out tongue at Naraku- Good triumph's again over the force of E V I L! -once again sounding like a chipmunk-

Naraku- We will see, -goes back to sleep-

Twilight_Dragon- -after 40 days and 40 nights, twilight still hasn't found any source of any master-

Screw this.

-destroys bug-

Bug- -destroyed-

Twilight_Dragon- -sees a girl walk by-

Hello, have you've seen a freaky looking person?

Girl- You mean that ugly man? Yeah, at the beach.

Twilight_Dragon- -jumps like Inuyasha to the beach-

Faewillow- Oh, can't pass this up...

-crawls into her Bermuda pocket and approaches the back of the growing crowd of young fems around IDK-

-Begins talking animatedly to several of them, motioning to a wreath of flowers and a bunch of brightly colored ribbons-

-More of the crowd starts to listen to faewillow-

-within the group, the words "mayday" and "Morris dance" can be heard-

-Under Faewillow's instruction, the corruptible youth of the beach converge on IDK with the ritual instruments-

Twilight_Dragon- -destroys everyone in the beach except the gross Naraku, IDK, and fae-

-falls asleep cause used up too much energy-

Inuyasha- -guards Tetsusaiga, and Twilight in the process-

IDontKnow- You are not in Bermuda, I booby trapped Fae's pocket

-Takes out a portable time machine and winds it back to the day IDK landed by himself on da beach-

Its three days ago and Naraku still looks awful in a thong!

Thanks CeeKari, the contents of that little box came in handy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BERMUDA WITH NO DARK DRAGON

But you still have US to deal with!

Naraku, Kagura, Kanna and Yura- -start chasing IDK down the beach-

Twilight_Dragon- -finally wakes up

Inuyasha- Still want it?

Twilight_Dragon- Ya.

Inuyasha: Whatever. -disappears-

Twilight_Dragon- -Looks around to see no IDK in sight-

Where is that b*****d?

Faewillow- -digging through pockets, discovers new toy: a rapid growth cloning device-

-reads instructions: insert DNA sample to produce blank clone-

Blank?

-puts a piece from one of IDK's stray hairs into the device-

-several beeps and squeaks later a copy of IDK emerges from the device, dressed in the same clothing as IDK, an starts wandering around aimlessly, looking at stuff.-

-under careful examination, the clone appears to have no memories or pre-formed personality traits-

Oh, that must be what it means by 'blank'

-giggling, faewillow produces about 37 other copies of IDK-

-drops a few copies through her pocket into Bermuda-

all right, Naraku & TD, take yer pick!

a small headset on a wire drops from the side of the cloning device. Instructions on it say: Clone Programming Tool-

Hmmm... this has possibilities...

-pulls out a few hairs-

-starts making faeprogrammed faeclones-

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight_Dragon- Now, I shall destroy you! Yaaa...a.a.a.a...

-falls asleep again snore-

faewillow- Asleep? Really?!?

-grins maniacally-

-giggles maniacally & wrings hands like the Grinch-

-puts sword in a safe place-

-pulls indestructible faerie rope from her pocket-

-hogties Twilight_Dragon-

-searches pocket for more faerie dust-

-Maniacal giggle turns to Maniacal laughter-

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

-sprinkles faerie dust on Twilight_Dragon while quietly chanting-

-sneezes-

Twilight_Dragon- -turns into a just-weaned beagle puppy-

Faewillow- D@mn... he was supposed to turn into a BAGEL, not a BEAGLE!!!!

-fashions faerie rope into a leash with a tiny collar & puts it on the puppy-

Well, this will have to do, I guess...

Twilight_Dragon- -still asleep-

-still asleep-

Subconscious- WAKE UP!!!

Twilight_Dragon-Still asleep-

Subconscious- $%#& this...

IDontKnow- I have a problem here as I was running away from the fearsome foursome some time ago I met myself down at the end of the beach...then I met myself at a concession stand, then I met myself at the penny arcade and the souvenir shop (where I bought a nice little stuffed Naraku voodoo doll complete with pins for $29.95 plus tax. On top of being confused by meeting so many mes, as I am coming out of the shop, the cutest little Bagel puppy you ever saw peed on my leg! I picked up the dog, and held him real close to a sign that said NO DOGS ALLOWED ON THE BEACH and gave him a good swift kick in the rear!

And Fae, one of the other yous I met was doing really weird things with one of the other me's I met!

Oh by the way, where do things go when they pass through your pocket and we are already IN Bermuda...that dog I kicked made a perfect hole-in-one right into your pocket!

STOP THAT FAE! IDK KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gee, I did not know I was that obnoxious, and I didn't know I could do things like that --

Hmmmm!

Faewillow- -where things go... Twilight Beagle falls on FaeClone's head-

does that answer your question?

Faewillow- -Tacks disclaimer up-

-Disclaimer says: Genetic donor not to be held responsible for actions of Clones-

-dusts hands together-

-digging around in pockets of holding-

-finds a huge supply of water "grenade" balloons-

Cool!!!

-begins filling balloons-

-begins handing balloons out to FaeClones-

-points out Twilight Beagle & IDK-

Sick 'em, girls!

-99 FaeClones attack the beach with a huge supply of water balloons!-

Muahahahahaha!!!!!

IDontKnow- (April 2)TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

ITS EASY TO SEE I'M MUCH CLOSER TO DEATH NOW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME -AFTER SINGING THIS SONG, IDK DEPARTS THE FORUM TO CELEBRATE-