InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The InuInfoNet ❯ Mommy! It Followed Me Home! ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Starlight Vixen 
Episode Four. Jaken. . . *shudder*
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Fantasy / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.03.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 149 | Status: Completed
Episode Four. Jaken. . . *shudder*
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Fantasy / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.03.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 149 | Status: Completed
(note: The Most Noble Order of the Squeeky Ears, referred to as "the Order" in here, is an actual thing that we started. If you want to join the Order, or learn more about it, email me at: reporter_besa@terrafaye.net. And yes, squeaky is spelled wrong on purpose in the name.)
The Inuyasha Information Network Proudly Presents. . .
Your Daily News
Your Hosts are:
Besa, Kiki, Kagami, and Jessim
-Start Episode 4-'Mommy! It Followed Me Home!'-
Kiki: This is Kiki, your host on the InuInfoNet. We have recently spotted Kikyou cheating on Hojo with a NANI!!?!?! A CHICKEN??!!!!
Besa: Eww. . . This is Besa from the Inu Information Network. Kagami is currently chasing more leads on locating Fluffy-sama
Kiki: Well, I've come back from my mission
Besa: And the report is?
Kiki: Well um. . . it's . . .
Besa: Yes?
Kiki: *rushes* Kind-of-embarrassing
Besa: Did somebody flash you? *snicker*
Kiki: Well, it was worse that. . .here goes nothing -
Besa: Uh oh
*plays tape*
Kiki: This is Kiki reporting to you live from - *whisper to camera men* Where is this again? oh - AHEM live to you from Greenland. This is were we have recently seen Kouga hiding. Ah, here we are - his apartment. Let's walk inside, I'm sure he won't mind. *walks inside* What a wonderful appartment. The best I've ever seen. Let's look at the bathroom. *Walks in, sees Kouga naked* Oh my, *giggle*
Kouga: *stares at Kiki* YOU BITCH!! *wraps towel around waist*
Kiki: Um *giggle* Please excuse me, I didn't - KYAAAAAA!
*Kouga gives her a dirty look and chases her all over house*
Kiki: Um, well! Back to you at base, KYAYAYAYAYAAAA!!!
Kouga: Come back here you evil little --
*tape cuts off*
Besa: Oh. That sucks.
Kiki: As you see that was, ahem, very embarrassing. But I did get to see a very *giggle* naked Kouga. *giggle* *blush*
Besa: Does Kiki like Kouga that way?!
Kiki: Well, he's not as good looking as Inuyasha and Miroku that way. But he is very good looking. *giggle*
Besa: Ahh. *nods knowingly* True, true. Anything else from your assignment to report?
Kiki: Well. After I got out of that situation (I bribed Kouga by giving him some ice cream), we went to see if we could find Jaken. He lives in Greenland too, you see.
*plays tape*
Kiki: Hello this is Kiki again reporting to you. As you can see we are at toad headquarters, Jaken's company. Let's go inside, shall we? *makes sure she knocks this time*
Voice: Come in
Kiki: *walks inside Jaken's office*
*Jaken looks at her suspiciously*
Kiki: *fidgets nervously* Is, um, something wrong, um . . . Jaken-Sama.
Jaken: *runs up to her and grabs her hands, she has to kneel down cause he's so short* Ah, you are a lovely lady. Please marry me, and make love to me endlessly.
Kiki: *looks at him, terrified* Ano . . .I don't think I can . . .Ano . . .please let go of my hand!
Jaken: NEVER! I will lock you up and force you to be my wife forever! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! *cough cough* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Kiki: Right...*squashes him*
*end tape*
Kiki: After that, he followed me all over the place. It was awful!
Besa: How did you ever get rid of him?
Kiki: Well, I didn't. *picks up something off the floor and puts it on desk*
Jaken: Please marry me, I will do anything!
Kiki: Shut up! *smacks him*
Jaken: Ahh, love hurts . . . *rubbing his cheek*
Besa: Do we need security down here? And a muzzle? Personally, I don't think Kagami would enjoy having that thing hanging around here. And I agree. He clashes with the decor. Too much green.
Kiki: I know, but he can help us with finding Sesshoumaru
Jaken: Yes I will, but only if you give me a kiss *chu-chu*
Kiki: *knocks him unconscious*
Besa: Hmmm. . . Maybe we can fax him to Kagami then. She seems to be the one with the most clues on Sess-sama's location.
Jaken: NEVER! I WILL NOT LEAVE MY SWEET CAKE, NEVER!!! *attaches himself to Kiki*
Kiki: The scary thing is that I'm used to this
Besa: Okay then. Desperate times, desperate measures. *whips out cell phone* Hello, Sango? Can you possibly get Miroku down here at the station? We have a small pest control problem. *listens to reply* Yes, Kirara's doing just fine . . . Okay, see you soon!
Kiki: Ano.... If it's no trouble, GET HIM OFF ME!!!! KYAAAAAAAAA!!!! KYAAAAAA!!!!
Miroku: Fear not, my lovely lady! I am here!
Sango: *smacks Miroku over the head* Just get on with it, Vacuum Boy!
Besa: Uhh . . . Kiki, you should probably hold on to something.
Kiki: * holds on to pipes*
Miroku: KAZAANA! *opens kazaana*
Kiki: KYAAAA!!! *is holding on the pipes while Jaken is holding onto her hair* GET THIS THING OFF ME!!!!!
Jaken: No, my LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!! *is ripped from Kiki's hair by Kazaana and smashes into Miroku, who fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opinion, has sealed the kazaana*
Kiki: Thank good --*Jaken attaches back to Kiki*--ness. GRRR! Jaken GET OFF ME!!!! THIS IS NOT HELPING!!!
Sango: That is IT! *knocks Jaken out with Hiraikotsu* Shall we put him someplace safe?
Kiki: Yes, please. Ugh. *sigh*
Sango: Of course, Kiki. *Drags Miro and Jaken out behind her* Bye, then
Besa: Bye, Sango! And thanks!
Kiki: Thanks soo much *turns to Besa after Sango has left* Oh, what has been going on while I was gone? Have you forgotten what day it is?
Besa: And what day is it, Kiki?
Kiki: You...*lip trembles* forgot?
Besa: I'm sorry . . . why don't you tell everyone . . . It's been so hectic around here lately, I've had to handle everything by myself while you and Jessim and Kagami were out chasing bishies
Kiki: It's my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Besa: Happy Birthday, Kiki!
Kiki: Thank you!
Besa: Yay! I have a present for ya . . .
Kiki: Really?
Besa: Uh huh.
Kiki: YAY! What is it?
Besa: Well . . . It's a . . .
Kiki: *impatiently* Yes?
Besa: It's a SHIPPOU!! You have your very own SHIPPOU!! *hands Shippou to Kiki, a little red bow is tied around his neck, kinda like when you give a puppy to someone*
Shippou: Why am I here!?!?
Kiki: KYAAAAA, he is sooo kawaii *hugs Shippou* You're going to stay with me forever and ever and ever and I'm going to give you lots of chocolate and 'good' things to eat. *kisses the struggling Kitsune on cheek* Sooo kawaii!
Besa: I take it you like him then?
Kiki: YES! YES! YES!
Besa: Teehee. He also comes with a bag of lollipops, to keep him busy during today's show. Can you read one of the fan letters? *pulls out box from under Jessim's desk* It has been SO long since you read one to the viewers. . .
Kiki: Okay. *opens letter* Well here's one from SATOSHI!?!?! Ahem:
"Dear Kiki... I would like to tell you how much I admire you, and how lovely you really are. Please, if you just answer my question I won't bother you anymore... Will........you........Tell me what 2x+5x divided by the square of 2xy is? "
Kiki: *sweat drop...* I actually thought he was going to ask me to...never mind...*sigh*
Besa: Oh, poor Kiki. . . if you like him that much, you should take some initiative yourself. I mean, yesterday I had a very nice chat with Yamamoto. He's a cute kid. We're actually going to see a movie after the show today.
Kiki: WHAT?!?!?!? ME LIKE SATOSHI? YOU MUST BE KIDDING!!!
Besa: De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt ya know. . . I can tell these things
Kiki: Fine...*grumble grumble* KEH!!
Besa: You spend too much time watching those old tapes of the elusive Inu Yasha. . .
Kiki: Well, you do too
Besa: So?! I don't go spouting off with his catch-phrases!
Kiki: What about that time you said...never mind, wouldn't want to embarrass you. *snicker*
Besa: *ignoring the last remark* Ne, do we have any other letters to answer, Kiki?
Kiki: Yes, here you go *hands letter to Besa*
Besa: " Dear Girls of the Inu Info Network,
You have been selected for a special, round-the-world cruise to search for Inu Yasha characters around the globe. It is sponsored by your parent company, Mental Issues, Inc., and will commence in one week. More information will be given to you at a later date. This message will self-destruct in 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2. . . 1"
*Besa chucks letter away, it explodes*
Kiki: YESSS!!!! I WON! I won! I WON! *does a happy dance* Go me, go me! It's my birthday, it's my birthday!!!
Besa: Kiki. . . we ALL won. We ALL get to go on the cruise *sweatdrop*
Kiki: *stops acting so very spastic* Will there be cute guys there? *sigh*
Besa: Kiki. . . we're searching for anime characters. Of course there'll be bishies. Maybe we can ask the superiors if we can hold a Meeting of the Order on the cruise. Just think. . . Inu in swim trunks. . .
Kiki: *dreamy sigh* Yes, yes, yes
Besa: Yay
Kiki: Who is in the order?
Besa: Me, you, Kagami, Inu-chan, Fluffy-sama, Shippou-chan, Kouga-kun, Akito-kun, Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, Haru-kun. . . the list goes on and on. . .
Kiki: Um, who are Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, and Haru-kun?
Besa: Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, and Haru-kun come from the land of Fruits Basket. Also, Jessim is part of the Order
Kiki: Oh. Yay!
Besa: Uh huh. And new members are always being accepted *grin*
Kiki: Yeah. Hehehe
Besa: Teehee
Kiki: So. . . LET'S GO NOW!!!!!! Can we? Can we? Can we?
Besa: Not yet, Kiki. . . we need to wait for Kagami and Jessim to get back. . . and that might take a while. Okay?
Kiki: Huh. Okay. Yay! So. . . Any new news about Naraku?
Besa: I've heard that they've got the majority of the disease under control. . . but there has been one major case that hasn't gone away yet. I heard the name of the victim was "Onigumo" and that he's been displaying all the symptoms. I've also heard that it's a hereditary disease.
Kiki: Onigumo huh? I think that I've heard of him
Besa: Yeah. I think Jessim did a report on him today
Kiki: Oh yes
Besa: Do you wanna show the tape?
Kiki: Sure
*tape plays*
Jessim: This is Jessim reporting to you from Kyoto. Anyway He is known as having all the symptoms of The Naraku Virus.
*Onigumo appears behind her*
Onigumo: YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!!! KU KU KU KU KU!!!!
Jessim: Right, I think we have a problem here. I'll let you know more later Besa! Don't worry; I'll join you for the cruise. Meanwhile, I'm going to do some guy hunting! Heheheh. See ya! *strikes pose*
*end tape*
Besa: *looks at Kiki* How long do you think until we find Jessim again?
Kiki: I'm not sure. *sigh* Well. We're going to have to wait
Besa: She did say she'd be on the cruise though. . . and we have a week. Now c'mon, we need to plan that party. . .
-End Episode 4-'Mommy! It Followed Me Home!'-
The Inuyasha Information Network Proudly Presents. . .
Your Daily News
Your Hosts are:
Besa, Kiki, Kagami, and Jessim
-Start Episode 4-'Mommy! It Followed Me Home!'-
Kiki: This is Kiki, your host on the InuInfoNet. We have recently spotted Kikyou cheating on Hojo with a NANI!!?!?! A CHICKEN??!!!!
Besa: Eww. . . This is Besa from the Inu Information Network. Kagami is currently chasing more leads on locating Fluffy-sama
Kiki: Well, I've come back from my mission
Besa: And the report is?
Kiki: Well um. . . it's . . .
Besa: Yes?
Kiki: *rushes* Kind-of-embarrassing
Besa: Did somebody flash you? *snicker*
Kiki: Well, it was worse that. . .here goes nothing -
Besa: Uh oh
*plays tape*
Kiki: This is Kiki reporting to you live from - *whisper to camera men* Where is this again? oh - AHEM live to you from Greenland. This is were we have recently seen Kouga hiding. Ah, here we are - his apartment. Let's walk inside, I'm sure he won't mind. *walks inside* What a wonderful appartment. The best I've ever seen. Let's look at the bathroom. *Walks in, sees Kouga naked* Oh my, *giggle*
Kouga: *stares at Kiki* YOU BITCH!! *wraps towel around waist*
Kiki: Um *giggle* Please excuse me, I didn't - KYAAAAAA!
*Kouga gives her a dirty look and chases her all over house*
Kiki: Um, well! Back to you at base, KYAYAYAYAYAAAA!!!
Kouga: Come back here you evil little --
*tape cuts off*
Besa: Oh. That sucks.
Kiki: As you see that was, ahem, very embarrassing. But I did get to see a very *giggle* naked Kouga. *giggle* *blush*
Besa: Does Kiki like Kouga that way?!
Kiki: Well, he's not as good looking as Inuyasha and Miroku that way. But he is very good looking. *giggle*
Besa: Ahh. *nods knowingly* True, true. Anything else from your assignment to report?
Kiki: Well. After I got out of that situation (I bribed Kouga by giving him some ice cream), we went to see if we could find Jaken. He lives in Greenland too, you see.
*plays tape*
Kiki: Hello this is Kiki again reporting to you. As you can see we are at toad headquarters, Jaken's company. Let's go inside, shall we? *makes sure she knocks this time*
Voice: Come in
Kiki: *walks inside Jaken's office*
*Jaken looks at her suspiciously*
Kiki: *fidgets nervously* Is, um, something wrong, um . . . Jaken-Sama.
Jaken: *runs up to her and grabs her hands, she has to kneel down cause he's so short* Ah, you are a lovely lady. Please marry me, and make love to me endlessly.
Kiki: *looks at him, terrified* Ano . . .I don't think I can . . .Ano . . .please let go of my hand!
Jaken: NEVER! I will lock you up and force you to be my wife forever! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! *cough cough* MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Kiki: Right...*squashes him*
*end tape*
Kiki: After that, he followed me all over the place. It was awful!
Besa: How did you ever get rid of him?
Kiki: Well, I didn't. *picks up something off the floor and puts it on desk*
Jaken: Please marry me, I will do anything!
Kiki: Shut up! *smacks him*
Jaken: Ahh, love hurts . . . *rubbing his cheek*
Besa: Do we need security down here? And a muzzle? Personally, I don't think Kagami would enjoy having that thing hanging around here. And I agree. He clashes with the decor. Too much green.
Kiki: I know, but he can help us with finding Sesshoumaru
Jaken: Yes I will, but only if you give me a kiss *chu-chu*
Kiki: *knocks him unconscious*
Besa: Hmmm. . . Maybe we can fax him to Kagami then. She seems to be the one with the most clues on Sess-sama's location.
Jaken: NEVER! I WILL NOT LEAVE MY SWEET CAKE, NEVER!!! *attaches himself to Kiki*
Kiki: The scary thing is that I'm used to this
Besa: Okay then. Desperate times, desperate measures. *whips out cell phone* Hello, Sango? Can you possibly get Miroku down here at the station? We have a small pest control problem. *listens to reply* Yes, Kirara's doing just fine . . . Okay, see you soon!
Kiki: Ano.... If it's no trouble, GET HIM OFF ME!!!! KYAAAAAAAAA!!!! KYAAAAAA!!!!
Miroku: Fear not, my lovely lady! I am here!
Sango: *smacks Miroku over the head* Just get on with it, Vacuum Boy!
Besa: Uhh . . . Kiki, you should probably hold on to something.
Kiki: * holds on to pipes*
Miroku: KAZAANA! *opens kazaana*
Kiki: KYAAAA!!! *is holding on the pipes while Jaken is holding onto her hair* GET THIS THING OFF ME!!!!!
Jaken: No, my LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!! *is ripped from Kiki's hair by Kazaana and smashes into Miroku, who fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opinion, has sealed the kazaana*
Kiki: Thank good --*Jaken attaches back to Kiki*--ness. GRRR! Jaken GET OFF ME!!!! THIS IS NOT HELPING!!!
Sango: That is IT! *knocks Jaken out with Hiraikotsu* Shall we put him someplace safe?
Kiki: Yes, please. Ugh. *sigh*
Sango: Of course, Kiki. *Drags Miro and Jaken out behind her* Bye, then
Besa: Bye, Sango! And thanks!
Kiki: Thanks soo much *turns to Besa after Sango has left* Oh, what has been going on while I was gone? Have you forgotten what day it is?
Besa: And what day is it, Kiki?
Kiki: You...*lip trembles* forgot?
Besa: I'm sorry . . . why don't you tell everyone . . . It's been so hectic around here lately, I've had to handle everything by myself while you and Jessim and Kagami were out chasing bishies
Kiki: It's my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Besa: Happy Birthday, Kiki!
Kiki: Thank you!
Besa: Yay! I have a present for ya . . .
Kiki: Really?
Besa: Uh huh.
Kiki: YAY! What is it?
Besa: Well . . . It's a . . .
Kiki: *impatiently* Yes?
Besa: It's a SHIPPOU!! You have your very own SHIPPOU!! *hands Shippou to Kiki, a little red bow is tied around his neck, kinda like when you give a puppy to someone*
Shippou: Why am I here!?!?
Kiki: KYAAAAA, he is sooo kawaii *hugs Shippou* You're going to stay with me forever and ever and ever and I'm going to give you lots of chocolate and 'good' things to eat. *kisses the struggling Kitsune on cheek* Sooo kawaii!
Besa: I take it you like him then?
Kiki: YES! YES! YES!
Besa: Teehee. He also comes with a bag of lollipops, to keep him busy during today's show. Can you read one of the fan letters? *pulls out box from under Jessim's desk* It has been SO long since you read one to the viewers. . .
Kiki: Okay. *opens letter* Well here's one from SATOSHI!?!?! Ahem:
"Dear Kiki... I would like to tell you how much I admire you, and how lovely you really are. Please, if you just answer my question I won't bother you anymore... Will........you........Tell me what 2x+5x divided by the square of 2xy is? "
Kiki: *sweat drop...* I actually thought he was going to ask me to...never mind...*sigh*
Besa: Oh, poor Kiki. . . if you like him that much, you should take some initiative yourself. I mean, yesterday I had a very nice chat with Yamamoto. He's a cute kid. We're actually going to see a movie after the show today.
Kiki: WHAT?!?!?!? ME LIKE SATOSHI? YOU MUST BE KIDDING!!!
Besa: De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt ya know. . . I can tell these things
Kiki: Fine...*grumble grumble* KEH!!
Besa: You spend too much time watching those old tapes of the elusive Inu Yasha. . .
Kiki: Well, you do too
Besa: So?! I don't go spouting off with his catch-phrases!
Kiki: What about that time you said...never mind, wouldn't want to embarrass you. *snicker*
Besa: *ignoring the last remark* Ne, do we have any other letters to answer, Kiki?
Kiki: Yes, here you go *hands letter to Besa*
Besa: " Dear Girls of the Inu Info Network,
You have been selected for a special, round-the-world cruise to search for Inu Yasha characters around the globe. It is sponsored by your parent company, Mental Issues, Inc., and will commence in one week. More information will be given to you at a later date. This message will self-destruct in 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2. . . 1"
*Besa chucks letter away, it explodes*
Kiki: YESSS!!!! I WON! I won! I WON! *does a happy dance* Go me, go me! It's my birthday, it's my birthday!!!
Besa: Kiki. . . we ALL won. We ALL get to go on the cruise *sweatdrop*
Kiki: *stops acting so very spastic* Will there be cute guys there? *sigh*
Besa: Kiki. . . we're searching for anime characters. Of course there'll be bishies. Maybe we can ask the superiors if we can hold a Meeting of the Order on the cruise. Just think. . . Inu in swim trunks. . .
Kiki: *dreamy sigh* Yes, yes, yes
Besa: Yay
Kiki: Who is in the order?
Besa: Me, you, Kagami, Inu-chan, Fluffy-sama, Shippou-chan, Kouga-kun, Akito-kun, Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, Haru-kun. . . the list goes on and on. . .
Kiki: Um, who are Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, and Haru-kun?
Besa: Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, and Haru-kun come from the land of Fruits Basket. Also, Jessim is part of the Order
Kiki: Oh. Yay!
Besa: Uh huh. And new members are always being accepted *grin*
Kiki: Yeah. Hehehe
Besa: Teehee
Kiki: So. . . LET'S GO NOW!!!!!! Can we? Can we? Can we?
Besa: Not yet, Kiki. . . we need to wait for Kagami and Jessim to get back. . . and that might take a while. Okay?
Kiki: Huh. Okay. Yay! So. . . Any new news about Naraku?
Besa: I've heard that they've got the majority of the disease under control. . . but there has been one major case that hasn't gone away yet. I heard the name of the victim was "Onigumo" and that he's been displaying all the symptoms. I've also heard that it's a hereditary disease.
Kiki: Onigumo huh? I think that I've heard of him
Besa: Yeah. I think Jessim did a report on him today
Kiki: Oh yes
Besa: Do you wanna show the tape?
Kiki: Sure
*tape plays*
Jessim: This is Jessim reporting to you from Kyoto. Anyway He is known as having all the symptoms of The Naraku Virus.
*Onigumo appears behind her*
Onigumo: YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!!! KU KU KU KU KU!!!!
Jessim: Right, I think we have a problem here. I'll let you know more later Besa! Don't worry; I'll join you for the cruise. Meanwhile, I'm going to do some guy hunting! Heheheh. See ya! *strikes pose*
*end tape*
Besa: *looks at Kiki* How long do you think until we find Jessim again?
Kiki: I'm not sure. *sigh* Well. We're going to have to wait
Besa: She did say she'd be on the cruise though. . . and we have a week. Now c'mon, we need to plan that party. . .
-End Episode 4-'Mommy! It Followed Me Home!'-