Trials and Tribulations of Love

Chapter 1

Bring Me To Life

There she was, stuck in the last place she wanted to be, with the person she resented the most. Well I guess being in Sesshoumaru's dungeon with Jakken could be worse, she thought bitterly.

Kagome had been taking a walk through the woods trying to think of how she was going to ask Inuyasha if she could go home for a few days, she hadn't been home in nearly two months. Everybody's probably worried. Doesn't he understand that I have a life too? He probably doesn't even care. Why does he have to be such an ass all the time?!

The wind whispered through the trees and the clouds floated overhead creating a peaceful scene. It had turned out to be a beautiful day and Kagome had decided to take advantage of it to contemplate her dilemma. However, no matter how much the sun shined or the birds sang nothing could seem to penetrate her gloomy mood.

"Well, I'm just gonna tell him I'm going and if he says 'no,' I know just how to change his mind," she commented to nobody in particular. I love that rosary, Kagome thought with a little smirk.

Suddenly, the wind stirred and silence was the only thing to be heard. This can't be good, Kagome thought. Cold shivers began running up and down her spine. What's going on?

"Hello, my reincarnate," came a cold voice from about twenty feet ahead of her. Kagome looked around the small clearing, her gaze traveled to a rather large tree, where she saw Kikyo standing.

Well damn, Kagome thought to herself, why can't I ever just take a peaceful walk without ending up physically or emotionally scathed?

Kagome stared at Kikyo, acknowledging her presence, but not that she had said anything.

"Where is my Inuyasha?" Kikyo asked her in a cold flat voice. Only a very small presence of the loving warmth that was there fifty-four years ago could now be detected.

"Your Inuyasha?" Kagome inquired, a bit peeved at having her thinking time interrupted.

Kikyo just responded with a nod.

"You want to know where YOUR Inuyasha is?" Kagome questioned with her anger becoming obvious. "Well, ya know what, I'm already pissed, so I'm gonna let you in a bit of inside information," she said staking towards Kikyo, her determination and anger flaring.

Kikyo was listening intently. Maybe this little bitch knows something I don't, but it had better be well worth my time. Even though her mind was spinning with possibilities, her heartless mask remained in place. She watched as Kagome approached her. She is either very brave, or very stupid, Kikyo thought.

"Your Inuyasha," Kagome continued, when she had gotten close enough, "died the same day you did more than fifty years ago. Inuyasha isn't the same person he was, he's changed now," Kagome's voice calmed and softened a bit, "he doesn't rely on you anymore, he doesn't need you to function." He has me, maybe he can be happy with that. Kagome realized she was trying to convince herself, just as much as she was trying to convince Kikyo, and she mentally slapped herself for it, but she'd deal later.

When Kikyo didn't respond, Kagome fumed and kept going, "The only reason he's still bound to you," she continued pointing her finger at Kikyo, her aura flaring a bit, "is that damn promise." He promised me the same thing, Inuyasha, you can't fulfill both.

In the distance, a rustle was heard, and tight away Kikyo sensed who was approaching. "Hush bitch, he's coming," Kikyo stated and with that she threw her hand forward and several of her Shikigami flew out from behind her and tied Kagome to the nearby tree.

"Inuyasha can't hear you, can't see you, nor can he smell you, girl, so just sit back and watch me prove how wrong you are."

Kagome was in shock. Her eyes were showing anger and a hint of premature defeat. She wanted so much to get a hold of hr arrows and blast that bitch back to hell where she belonged, but that was impossible to do in her current situation.

Kikyo looked at her reincarnation, victory evident in her gaze. Her solid mask cracking as the ends of her mouth curled up into a superior smirk. They really did look alike, same ebony locks, same deep chocolate eyes, but Kagome's face had something that Kikyo's had lost a long time ago, innocence and love. That was reason enough for Kikyo to hate her, now, add Inuyasha to the picture…

Less than a minute later, Inuyasha walked into the clearing, his face showing concern and worry. His chest was heaving and his long silver mane was windblown. I could have sworn I smelt both Kagome and Kikyo. Inuyasha glanced around the clearing, trying to detect Kagome, but all traces were gone. His thoughts were cut short as Kikyo outstretched her hand and motioned for him to come to her. He stepped forward, his silver tresses swaying behind him in the slight breeze.

Almost as if he were in a trance, Inuyasha took the delicate hand in his and put it on his chest, over his heart. Inuyasha looked deeply into Kikyo's eyes and then bowed his head, almost shamefully; instinctively knowing what it was Kikyo wanted, Inuyasha gave her his response. "Kikyo, I cannot go with you now to hell, I have too much to finish," his voice dropped as he said his next sentence, unsure, himself, if he wanted to go on. "I will keep my promise, but I must finish all that is currently undone."

"My Inuyasha, you always did know what I was thinking, but I never could say the same about you."

How can you see into my eyes like open doors

Inuyasha didn't know how to respond, he just bowed his head more and pulled her a little closer. His arms wrapped around her protectively, while Kikyo rested her head on his chest, gripping the sleeves of his haori. He had always loved the way her small frame fit into his taller slid one. Feels a lot like holding Kagome, only colder. No, it's because she's Kikyo's reincarnation. I have the real thing now.

"No, Inuyasha, don't prove me wrong, please!" cried Kagome in a desperate pleading attempt to save herself from having to watch this scene unfold. She didn't want to admit to herself what was happening, and she didn't want to admit that she knew he still loved Kikyo. Tears began to form in her eyes, tears that came despite her attempts to hold them at bay.

"Inuyasha you could see through me then and you can see through me now," Kikyo said calmly. "It hurts to know that you know who I am. We both know that this form is not me."

Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

without a soul

"Inuyasha," Kikyo began again, "You don't have to come with me to hell." The finality in her words made Inuyasha lift his head just a bit and pirk his ears up slightly. "We can live here, on earth, like we meant to, when the Shikon no Tama is complete, you can wish for me to be alive again. Then, mind, body, and soul, I will be real and-and I'll be me. We can be happy." Kikyo held Inuyasha tighter. Not seeming to ever want to let go.

My spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

Inuyasha, with emotions running high, was speechless; he just looked Kikyo in the eyes, trying to find an answer within himself.

"But…" he began.

"Inuyasha, please, I need to be me again."

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

"I don't want to live like this anymore, I'm clay and bones and my soul is trying to leave me," she stole a glance at Kagome, who looked horrified, betrayed, and lost as she fought a losing battle to hold back tears, "I need you to complete the Tama and save me."

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become

"Kikyo, I love you," he said, pulling her closer, "and I would love to make you real, but if you have your soul, then Kagome loses hers," Inuyasha remarked in a soothing voice.

"It's not hers," Kikyo snapped.

Inuyasha winced. Kagome is not Kikyo, but her soul is Kikyo's. Wait, no it isn't. It's her own, but it was once Kikyo's. Inuyasha could not find a buffer state from the battle waging in his head. But, then again, he wasn't sure he wanted to know how he truly felt, for him, right now, ignorance was bliss, but it was also hell.

"I can't do that to her, Kikyo," Inuyasha finally said, regret was conspicuous in his eyes.

"Inuyasha, do you remember how I was, how happy we were together, before all this happened? Before she came into our lives? "

Of course I do, he thought, That's all I've thought about since I woke up from the Goshinboku Tree. With all these thoughts racing through his head, Inuyasha could only bring himself to respond with a nod.

"That's how I want us to be again," she said as lovingly as she could sound, looking him straight in the eyes, knowing that that line would make him melt at her feet.

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

With that, Kikyo leaned up and pressed her lips to Inuyasha's.

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

Inuyasha was surprised, to say the least. He'd been dreaming about this moment since the first time he saw her. He closed his eyes as he felt her arms swing around his neck and entangle themselves in his hair. He lifted one arm to loop around her waist and the other found the nape of her neck.

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Kikyo pulled away for air and looked him in the eyes. "I need you to save me, Inuyasha." This time Inuyasha was the forward one, kissing Kikyo almost desperately. She tastes like death and dirt, and she feels so cold, but one day, she will be how she was. Inuyasha thought with determination.

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run, before I come undone

She couldn't take it anymore, Kagome had been violated and betrayed in the worst way and she was being forced to admit the truth and her defeat. "Inuyasha!" With one last desperate cry, she slid down the tree, sobbing harder than she had in her entire life. Her best friend had just betrayed her, wait, when did he become my best friend? She cried, cried so hard that she could barley breathe.

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

Inuyasha was the first one to pull away from the kiss this time.

"Kikyo I want to fulfill my promise to you, but I must also keep promise to Kagome, I can't let her die to give you your soul back," Inuyasha said quietly, regretfully, unsure of what her reaction would be.

"Inuyasha, just wish that Onigumo had died in that fire," she said longingly and desperately, as if it was the only choice. "I need to be alive, with you."

Frozen inside without your touch without your love

Darling only you are the life among the dead

That means I would never meet Kagome, but she would be safe, all my promises would be fulfilled, he thought slowly to himself, but do I want that? I'll be with Kikyo and Kagome can find a good human boy in her time, what was that guys name? Hobo? Hoho? Joho? I dunno, but she thinks highly of him, I'm sure he could make her happy. Happier than a hanyou could you mean, said a voice in his head. No, they'll be happy and so will Kikyo and I. Problem solved.

Then, Inuyasha thought of something, "You…you would accept me as a hanyou?" He asked, with an astonished gaze.

Disgust temporarily flashed through Kikyo's eyes, but Inuyasha didn't catch it.

"Yes," she said, lying to him as well as herself, "I was too naive to see it then, but I love you as you are."

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but there you were in front of me

Kikyo thought she could and would learn to love him in his hanyou form, even if she couldn't yet.

"When I'm alive again we will be happy, on our own, without worries, no Shikon no Tama, no demons constantly after it, no other worries, " once again she looked at Kagome, who was in hysterics, Kikyo wasn't even sure if she was paying attention anymore. Kikyo gave Inuyasha a chaste kiss and watched as Kagome's eyes widened, and if possible, she cried harder. Well, that answered that question.

"You and I are destined to be together or fate wouldn't have brought us here."

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

"Please Inuyasha, hurry and complete that Shikon no Tama, then hold true to your oath to me. Save me."

Without a thought without a voice without a soul

Don't let me die here there must be something more

Kagome was out of tears, she was exhausted, and pissed beyond belief, she hadn't even cried this much when her dad died, and she just wanted to go home.

"Save me Inuyasha." With that, Kikyo's Shikigami left Kagome and swirled around Kikyo, lifting her into the air and flying away

Bring me to life

Kagome nearly fell when the support of the Shikigami left her. She didn't even look up; she just turned and began walking away, towards the village. She still would have been crying and she wished she could, but there were no tears, all that was left were dry streaks where her salty tears had made their trails. Once red from her hysterics, her face was now paler than Kikyo's undead one

Inuyasha heard the rustling of leaves behind him. No, please, he smelt Kagome, Please, no; don't tell me she heard all that. His head hung low, and his ears flattened as the sent of dried sweet tears bombarded his nose. He had betrayed her and he was waiting for that word, the one thing that could bring him down, to be repeated over and over again. Kami knows I deserve it, he admitted to himself.

The footsteps faded ever so slightly and stopped, she was about fifty feet away from him now. Here it comes, he thought

But it didn't, her mouth didn't open at all. Slowly, he turned around, there she was, her back to him, her head bowed, just a bit, as thought she was trying to compose herself and keep her dignity, which she was.

"Kagome…" he called in a desperate whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.

Kagome heard him call to her, but she just walked away, back to the village. She heard him call her name a few more times, but not once did she hesitate in her movements. She had just heard Inuyasha admit his feelings to Kikyo, and all but tell her that he would wish Onigumo had died, thereby negating the purpose of her ever being there. He would throw me away to have Kikyo. How could he do that? Not only is she dead, but also she has tried to kill him on more than one occasion! Maybe, I just don't understand their love, or, rather, his love for her, Kikyo's just using him. Then again, I don't even understand my love for that chauvinistic jerk, how could I possibly understand his for her?

Kagome took a deep shaky breath and continued her march back towards the village, not once looking back to see if Inuyasha was following her. Had she given into the temptation to glance behind her, she would have been disappointed, for Inuyasha wasn't there.

Inuyasha didn't go back to the village that night. He wandered around the cold, lonely forest, lost in thought.

One question repeating through his mind.

"How much did she see?"

Inuyasha was in pain, more pain than any amount of "oswari's" could bring. He wished she had said it, he would have felt better if she had.

Inuyasha's face showed pain, but determination.

I need to tell her that I do care about her, but I have a promise to keep.

With that thought, Inuyasha nodded his head in finality and bounded deeper into the forest.