InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ While you loved me ❯ chapter one (august 20, 2004) ( Chapter 1 )

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& If I ever write the story of my life
don't be surprised if you're where it begins &

>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<>-<& gt;-<>-<>-<

He sat on his favorite branch of the Goshinboku and looked back on the past few years of his life.

`Really my life began, truly, the moment she removed that fucking arrow from my chest. When I looked up I thought it was that evil witch Kikyou, but as soon as I got a good whiff of her I knew, whether I wanted to believe it or not, it wasn't Kikyou. It was Kagome. She'll never know now how I feel. I wish she could.'

He reached into his haori and pulled out the paper book she had given him and the "magic" quill with built in ink.

`I can't believe that she thought i would actually write down my stories of battle and my thoughts. What had she said? It was

"thery-pud-ical" to at least write down how he felt, since he would never talk to anyone about it. Whatever the seven hells that meant!'

He started writing down in the book. He wrote:

<3<3<3<3<3=E>E>E>E&g t;E>

I guess it all started when kagome pulled the arrow out of my chest...

UU

& Girl, I'd have to dedicate every line on every page

To the memories we made, while you loved me &

UUU

He kept writing his story, thoughts and feelings until he could write no more then he looked back at the things he wrote and thought,

`kami she is my life, her name is scrawled on every page of this book. She is a piece of every part of world. What am I gonna do now? Her love was my oxygen. What will I do without it? I guess I will have to live of the memories you left me with. There are so many where do I start?'

He heard a voice in his head that said, "why not start with the best one?"so he did.

@

& I was born the day you kissed me &

$/$/$
`God's' it was only three days ago how could so much change that quickly, how could I have messed up so much and now she's gone forever. I remember it exactly. It was a full moon and she was just getting back from her time. I met her at the well…'

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A certain silver haired hanyou sat impatiently at the side of the Bone Eater's Well, waiting impatiently for the woman he had slowly come to love. She pooped out of nowhere into the well, preceded by a blinding blue flash. He helped her out of the magic well and onto solid ground. He accidentally pulled to hard though and threw off his balance and in doing so he fell backwards, kagome coming with him and landing right on top of him, her head nestled in the crook of his neck. They both blushed fiercely. She made to stand up and he followed suit. He grabbed the large, yellow book bag she always carried and walked next to her towards the village. She stoped on the bridge where she had sat him that one time and sat down with her feet over the ege and patted the place nex to her. He sat down with a little thump. She just stared at the water and the reflections init. The boy said,

" Oi Kagome, what's wrong? If it's about the well I didn't mean…"

He was cut off by the look in her eyes as she shifted to look at him. They were sad and happy. This puzzled him.

`How can someone be sad and happy at the same time?'

She smiled that smile that made his heart melt and hugged him around the neck when she let go she whispered, "your free now Inuyasha", and took of his prayer beads. He looked at her with a chocked expression as she gave him the beads and went to stand up. He grabbed her arm, "wait Kagome" he said looking in her eyes. She looked as confused as he was. Then he leaned in and kissed her. It was a soft chaste kiss but it made every nerve in his body wake up and go into hyper drive. She stiffened and he instantly regretted it `she didn't want me to kiss her oh god I'm such a prick.' He stood up quickly and picked up the pack, which made her think he didn't mean to kiss her, or didn't want to. She tried to act happy though to spare him her tears and jogged to catch up. She still couldn't look at him for fear of bursting out in tears. ` My first kiss and he didn't even want it to happen' she thought. He thought `oh Kami I shouldn't have expected her to feel the same as I do. She just set me free so she could go home but I'll never forget that kiss. I think for once I was truly happy' and slipped back on the prayer beads she had deactivated.

& And I died inside the night you left me &

` Then there was the memory I wish I didn't have'

He thought `I still don't understand why she left, no I do I just wish she hadn't. I hadn't even told her I loved her yet. It was only eight or so days after that kiss but who knew I would run out of time. I know we could've worked it out I was just telling Kikyou it was over and that I loved Kagome. It didn't seem bad at the time to humor her and grant her one last hug. Why did she have to walk in on us at that time? Now I'll never get to tell her the truth. I had just sensed Kikyou and told everyone I was leaving for a bit…'

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He ran towards the source of the scent he recognized so well by now. When he reached the owner of that smell he was in the clearing near the well.

"Kikyou this is it" he said startling said woman out of her trance.

"What do you mean Inuyasha, are you ready to come to hell with me now?"

He blinked in surprise at her innocent tone.

"No Kikyou, I can't die with you. I meant this is the last time I'll come running to you." He said sadly

"Oh I guess you choose her. Well Inuyasha I don't care anymore. I've found peace I never knew I could have. Now that Naraku is dead I am happy. I think I can go peacefully now, to the other side. Farewell Inuyasha" she said walking over and hugging him. He indulged her and granted her one last hug. Then he smelt the saltiness of tears and looked down. Kikyou wasn't crying. Then he looked around and saw Kagome by the well. `Oh shit' he thought.

"Kagome, wait! But it was too late she had gone down the well. He ran after her abandoning Kikyou who fell to the ground. She got up and flew away with those glow worm thingies (what are those things called?)meanwhile Inuyasha jumped down the well expecting to be transported to Kagome's time, but he was transported to the ground. He jumped out and jumped back in again but nothing happened. He realized something then, Kagome had sealed the well. He couldn't tell her the truth! He wouldn't get to see her again. At that thought he started to cry. Not like Kagome, who showed her tears to everyone silently, or the brat, who wailed his lungs off, just tears streaming down his cheeks with his head down and hair hiding his face. He hit the ground over and over again while sitting in the well and thought, `oh gods no! Kagome please no kami please bring her back to me please just let her come back. I can't loose her oh gods it hurts so much just bring her back. I'd rather die than feel like this! Kagome come back' he said the last part out loud. And he cried. He cried for a long time. For hours he sat in the well and wept over his lost love. Some one 500 years in the future did the same thing.

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& But I lived, oh how I lived
(I lived) While you loved me &
(0.0) (0.0)

So he sat in that same tree for a while until he pulled out that paper and pen and started writing.

I guess it all started when kagome pulled the arrow out of my chest. She trusted me without knowing me. I finally figured out she loved me the day she told me she wanted to stay with me even if I picked Kikyou. I knew I loved her about two seconds before I kissed her. That day was when my real life began! I spent all those days after it telling myself we could make it work. We had those picnics things and we went for walks. I was actually happy with just being for once. I smiled. She made me smile and it was great. I laughed too. I never laughed even as a kid but she gave me a reason to! I had so much fun when I was with her and I was at ease. I cared about what she thought about me, but she accepted who I was. Out of my entire life, the best story, above all the fights and all the demons, was the story about how she loved me. I loved her too but now she'll never know because she misunderstood a good-bye hug between old friends with a hug between lovers. Kikyou8 is gone and kagome iss the onlything left in my heart. I know though, that the happiness I shared with her those few days will get me through the rest of my life.
Even though I know the end, Well I'd do it
all again
'Cause I got a lifetime in, while you loved me

And even if I knew all this would happen and I could choose to have it not come to pass I wouldn't. I couldn't. I love her so much that I life with even the memories of knowing her is heaven for me and a life with out this kind of love is hell. I lived a lifetime in so few days but that lifetime was the best one I could ask for in so many ways. The only thing I would ever change is the fact I didn't get to tell her I loved her.