Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Questioning ❯ Departure ( Chapter 1 )

For the AkuRoku 100

 

This is told from mainly Axel's point of view.

Loosely based on the scene in the beginning where Roxas leaves the Organization.

 

Questioning:

 

How long has it been? Days, weeks? I can't remember. Either way it's been far too long. Demyx says this is crazy. Is it? Is waiting for something that'll never come back crazy? Xigbar says that my room is starting to smell funny. Odd, I kept it clean so he wouldn't reprimand me for it…now…does it matter?

 

“No one would miss me.”

 

“God, Roxas, how wrong can you be?” I mutter, facing the white ceiling, not really looking at it. All I see are bright blue eyes, that held so much emotion, despite our lack of hearts.

 

“Roxas? Can you feel that?”
“Feel what?”

Sigh. “I thought I felt it beating…”

“Silly Axel.”

Smile.

“But it's true! You make me feel like that Roxy!”

“Ack! No! Stop ruffling my hair!”

 

He made me feel like I had a heart. Everything was more lively with him…morning, noon, and night…when he would walk into my room with his pillow.

 

“Axel? Can I sleep here? My room is kinda cold…”

 

I wonder if those were excuses…Somewhere deep inside I hoped they were, excuses to sleep in the same bed as me. I roll over. I haven't left this room since he left, however long ago that was. These blankets aren't even mine…no…they belong to Roxas. I took them as soon as I could…they don't smell like him anymore, but they used to.

 

“I swear sometimes I think you're obsessed.”

“What if I was?”

“…” Smile. “I would say that I think it's cute.”

“You're cute.”

“I know.”

 

Obsessed…am I obsessed? It's like that song. Obsession by some guy Franky G dawg…or something. I know I'm obsessed with him. His hair, his eyes, skin, body, scent, everything. Everything about him just makes me happy, or sends me into a pit of despair. But is it love? Or am I just fooling myself into thinking that? After all we have no hearts…but…that feeling…where all I want to do is make him happy, show off so he thinks I'm the best, double checking to make sure that I didn't make a dumb mistake, making sure I tell him everything so he doesn't feel left out, and if I hear something funny…I wonder `will he think this is funny too?'. That has to be love. That fluttery feeling when they do something sweet, and you hope they never leave…

 

…He left…

 

Does that mean he didn't love me? Why did he leave? …A journey of self discovery…I would have gladly left with him…without Roxas, Organization XIII is nothing to me.

 

It's love.

 

I keep tossing an turning in these dampish blankets, there's this faint empty feeling in my stomach…whether it's from Roxas leaving, or I'm hungry I'm not sure. I was always a twig anyway.

 

His things, they're in my room now…I even hung up a few pictures…happy ones, with his bright smiling face, they light up my messy, smelly room. I turn to face one…Can Nobody's cry? A small trickle of hot liquid runs over the bridge of my nose because I'm lying side ways…yes, Nobody's can indeed cry…

 

I wonder if he cries for me?

I hope he does…that way I know he loves me too…and that small bit of reassurance, is all I need to hear right now…I refuse to move, until I hear it.

 

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For three days Axel has neither moved from that bed or ate, despite IX's hardest efforts, questioning everything, every moment of every second he spent with XIII, and questioning the love they shared. But it will always remain that Axel loves Roxas more than anything, despite the fact that they don't have hearts, and somewhere deep inside Roxas's now blank memory, he knows that he loves Axel too, and he always will.

 

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