Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Undistorted ❯ Dearly Beloved ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Sweet Distortion, a Kingdom Hearts fanwork:  Drabble challenge by Bond Of Flame08, written by Raberba girl
2. Dearly Beloved

Summary:  Zexion and Xigbar are on a mission involving pirates.

A/N:  This AU was inspired by Jasper Fforde's novel First Among Sequels (fifth book in the Thursday Next series, though I haven't read any of the others).  Also, if you haven't seen the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, this is going to make zero sense.  Also contains spoilers for that movie.

o.o.o

"WHADDAYA MEAN XIGGY SHOT BARBOSSA?!"

Zexion bowed over in response to the assault on his sensitive hearing.  "Demyx!  Don't scream in my ear," he hissed.  This body may only be a virtual one, but any pain it experienced had an equal effect on his real one that was asleep up in the Topside control room.

Demyx's voice echoed in his mind at a lower but still obnoxious volume.  "Am I supposed to not freak out when you tell me that Xigbar SHOT freaking CAPTAIN BARBOSSA in the middle of the climactic battle scene?"

"He's still alive," Zexion said in exasperation, wiping rain out of his eyes and glancing at the unconscious body lying beside him in a reflexive move to reassure himself.  "He's right here, in fact - we've taken cover in a corner of the ship.  It's just that he fell and hit his head when a sailor knocked Xigbar's aim awry."

"Well, this is just excellent," Demyx grumbled.  "Seriously, can't you guys go for ten minutes without messing something up and altering story hist--?"

"I'm the one who's always asking for solo missions!  I'm the one who always gets stuck with Xigbar or YOU for partners!  Don't you dare pin this on me!"

"Geez, calm down!  Now, let's think this through...."

Somewhere amongst all the brawling, rain-soaked pirates, Zexion caught a snippet of dialogue.  "I don't think now's the best time!"

Zexion swore.  "Demyx!  It's starting!"

"Ack!  He proposed already?!"

"What do you mean already?  I feel like I've been stuck in this madhouse for ages!"

The scene continued inexorably.  "Now may be the only time!" Will yelled back at Elizabeth over the noise of the battle.

"What do we do?!  What do we do?!  Hey, I know!  Tickle Barbossa until he wakes up."

"Don't be stupid," Zexion hissed savagely.  He tugged his laptop closer, wiping excess rain off the water-resistant cover and minimizing the illusion program that was keeping him and the pirate captain hidden.  "Demyx!  Upload the film script to Dear Diary, hurry!"

"What do you need the script for?  It's playing out right now."

"I've made my choice," Will proclaimed to Elizabeth, about six paces away from where Zexion was crouched.  "What's yours?"

"DEMYX, NOW."

There was a tense pause.  "Barbossa!" Elizabeth suddenly shouted.

Zexion flung himself up to the head of the stairs with his laptop clutched tightly in one arm.  "Xigbar, cover me!" he screamed.

"I'm a little busy at the moment!" the one-eyed Freeshooter called back.

"Marry us!" Elizabeth cried.  Then, in confusion at the captain's absence, "Barbossa?"

"Xigbar, if you let me get hurt, I will KILL YOU."  Zexion frantically scanned over the lines of dialogue as an attack on the lovers below bought him a few more precious seconds.

"Zexion!" Will shouted as soon as the interruption had been dealt with.  "Where's Barbossa?!"

"He's busy!  I'll marry you!"

"Can you?" Elizabeth said in disbelief.  "I thought you said you were just a playwright!"

"Yeah, can you?" Demyx echoed interestedly.

"Yes, I can, now all of you SHUT UP," Zexion bellowed, neglecting to specify that his claim consisted of nothing more than having been captain of the Rowing Club back in high school.  He squinted through the downpour at Dear Diary's screen, trying to ignore the roaring of random sailors trying to assault him and the whistling sound of laserfire as Xigbar shot them down before they could reach him.  "Dearly beloved, we be gathered here today...!"

o.o.o

Author's Notes:  Erm, I apologize if this is overly confusing.  Let me know what you don't get, and I'll try to clarify it.

Long story behind this one, but basically, this was the prompt that made me decide to A) take on this challenge B) for Zemyx.  Because after AkuSai got me into drabbles, and before plot bunnies for a million other series subjects mobbed me, the second idea for a drabble series I got was for Demyx & Zexion.  And I'd been hunting around and fell in love with Bon-Bon's music challenge at first sight, because the KH soundtracks are among my favorite music ever.  However, I saw the "Dearly Beloved" prompt and was like, "How in the world could I make that work for platonic Zemyx?"  Then my thoughts quickly jumped from "wedding phrase" to "Disney movies" to "hands down favorite movie wedding scene ever," which happens to be the one in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  And the concept of traveling inside stories from Fforde's Thursday Next novels practically smacked me in the head with how to make it work for Dem & Zexy, and so I was like, "WELL, if I can write a 'Dearly Beloved' for these guys, the rest of the prompts should be a breeze."  And that's how I decided to take on Bon-Bon's KH soundtrack challenge for my darling Melodious Nocturne and Zexion The Adorable Cloaked Schemer. :)

Complete:  2/100.  Next:  "Hand in Hand"
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