Last Exile Fan Fiction ❯ The Room ❯ Crack ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

SCENE: A large white room where the figures of Tatiana Wisla, Alistia Agrew, Claus Valca, and Alvis Hamilton are seen inside. Claus is currently looking for crickets that aren't there, Tatiana is having a mental breakdown in the corner while Alistia tries to comfort her, and Alvis ignores them. Crickets chirp on the background.
CLAUS: Damn those crickets! Where are you!
ALVIS: (Sweatdrops.) Where did Negi go?
AUTHOR: (Zoned out voice.) I got bored of him…
(Alvis shrugs and ignores the voice of the Author focusing her attention the bathtub filled with a green substance. A sudden voice comes from within it.)
BATHTUB: Lollipop. Lollipop.
ALVIS: (Falls over.) Somehow I was expecting something like this. Not like anything makes sense here anyways. (Sighs.)
AUTHOR: Silence! Your surprised understand? Surprised!!
ALVIS: (Continues to ignore the Author and suddenly a fish lands on her head.) Wha?
AUTHOR: You can't ignore me! I'm the Author!!!
(Alistia suddenly appears by Alvis picks up the fish and throws it at Claus and knocking him unconscious. The Author and Alvis stare at her. Silence reings.)
ALISTIA: (Shrugs.) He tried searching Tatiana and me for crickets, besides he was getting annoying.
ALVIS/AUTHOR: (Stares at the unconscious Claus and inches away from her. Well Alvis does anyways.)
(Alistia Goes back to Tatiana and Alvis pokes at Claus with a spatula. The bathtub is ignored.)
TATIANA: (Sniffling.) I hate this place.
ALISTIA: (Nods.) Don't worry I can take your mind off this place.
TATIANA: (Stares at her doubtfully and snorts.) Yeah right.
AUTHOR: Exactly! You can never escape from the room! It's impossible… (Rants on and on.)
ALISTIA: (Smiles mischievously.) Well we'll just have to find out won't we?
(Alistia ignores the Author's ranting and pulls a confused Tatiana into another room that happened to appear; a second later the click of a lock is heard. The Author yells after them and Alvis does her best to ignore them once again.)
AUTHOR: Hey! I didn't make that room! Come back out here this instant! (Sniffles.) I'm the Author you know, your not supposed to ignore me… (Stares sadly at the door of the room.) At least let me watch!
ALVIS: (Sighs and sits next to Claus.) I'm the only sane one here…
BATHTUB: Maybe so.
ALVIS: (Stares at the bathtub.) I forgot you were here.
BATHTUB: Don't worry it happens all the time…
SCENE: On a boat in the middle of the ocean sits a crate with bolds letter stamped onto it saying. “ONE WAY TO: THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE” Inside a voice can be heard.
LAVI: I really, really have to pee…
(Everything fades to black.)
SCENE: Sophia Forrester stands in font of a podium on a stage that seems to be there for no real reason.
SOPHIA: (Sighs.) Once again I'm taking over for the Author because she's to busy trying to sneak into the room with Alistia and Tatiana. (Looks down at the paper in her hands.) The Author does not own any of the vict- (Ahem) characters involved in this story. They belong to Last Exile and she doesn't own that ether. The Author would like knowing whether people prefer chapters done this way or keep the spaces. So please leave a comment. And lastly she would to thank Dreiser for the idea of this story from his Utena Fanfiction “The Elevator” Which she recommends highly to everyone as it is funny and because it involves rampant anime lesbians. Reviews would be nice too because she might make longer chapters. That is all. (As she walking offstage a naked Dio runs by and trips her.) Ow!
DIO: Haha! (Quickly runs away giggling madly. A couple seconds later Lucciola runs by with a guild outfit in his hands.)
SOPHIA: That's it! I quit! (Walks off…somewhere.)