Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Crossovers III: The Music of Insanity ❯ The Music of Insanity ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: DragonPanther 
The Hinata residents become hip-hop music artists!
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.22.2003 | Updated On: 03.02.2003 | Pages: 9 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 863 | Status: Completed
The Hinata residents become hip-hop music artists!
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.22.2003 | Updated On: 03.02.2003 | Pages: 9 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 863 | Status: Completed
Crossovers III: Music of Insanity
By RedPanther and DragonDude
(Rated [PG-13] for violénce and moderate/strong language)
Disclaimer: TV Tokyo, Xebec, and Ken Akamatsu own Love Hina (created by Ken Akamatsu). I don't know who owns Boyz `n da Hood. RedPanther owns MidgetRappa and ©opy®igh(tm)an (both created by RedPanther). J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and Scholastic Books own Harry Potter (created by J.K. Rowling). M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, P. Diddy, and Michael Jackson own themselves. MTV Networks owns MTV Cribs (created by MTV Networks) and Beavis and Butt-head (created by Mike Judge). Gracie Films and Twentieth Century Fox own The Simpsons (created by Matt Groening). George Orwell owns 1984 (created by George Orwell). Antipode871 owns CowMonkiez and Edgar Garibaldi (both created by Antipode 871). Braniff and Comedy Central own South Park (created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone). Jim Davis and Paws own Garfield (created by Jim Davis). Amblin Entertainment and Warner Brothers own Animaniacs (created by Steven Spielberg). Hanna-Barbera owns Josie and the Püssycats (created by Hanna-Barbera). S Club 7 and Jimmy Eat World own themselves. Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, and Chrono Trigger (all created by Square Enix). Jhonen Vasquez owns Invader ZIM (created by Jhonen Vasquez). DragonDude owns The Joe Man, BladderBoy, and FartSkunk (all created by DragonDude). No copyright infringement is intended, just entertainment.
[Note: I have never seen the Love Hina TV show. Well, except for a few clips of the anime. However, I have read Volume 1 of the manga. Oh, and I've ascertained a lot of information from the Internet. So, if the characters seem out of character, I apologize. I just felt there was a need for an insane and humorous fanfic for this anime.]
(It started out as a relatively normal day at Hinata Inn. Keitaro had managed to avoid getting his ass kicked yet again by the residents. Everyone was BORED this day, though.)
Keitaro: At least I'm not getting punched or anything.
Naru: Hate to break it to ya, but the narrator already said that.
Keitaro: I know. What should we do today, gírls?
Mutsumi: How about we read some Invader ZIM fics?
Kitsune: We did that yesterday, dumbass.
Kaolla: How about looking at one of my inventions?
Keitaro: No thanks. Whenever we look at one of your creations, trouble rears its ugly head.
Motoko: How `bout I slice some stuff?
Keitaro: That's usually only when you're kickin' my ass, and I don't like getting my ass kicked!
Motoko: Well, maybe if you weren't a perv, then we wouldn't kick yer ass!
Keitaro: I'M NOT A PERV!!! It's just that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Motoko: Riiiight...
Shinobu: How about some TV?
Naru: Sure, why not?
(They turn on the TV. "MTV Cribs" is on, and it's featuring MidgetRappa.)
MidgetRappa: Yeah, my house is the most rockin' house, almost as rockin' as my bling bling!
Host of MTV Cribs: And you say this was from your life as a rap artist?
MidgetRappa: Hell yeah! And why are you askin' such &$%@*#& obvious questions that everyone ALREADY KNOWS THE *#^$%#@ ANSWERS TO??!
Host: I dunno. These were just some lame stock questions I was given to try and make the fanfic go somewhere.
MidgetRappa: Fanfic?
Host: Oh, dammit! I wasn't supposed to say that this is a fanfic!
MidgetRappa: &$%@!!!
(Kaolla turns off the TV)
Kaolla: That was... weird.
Naru: Rappers, eh? (To the gírls) You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Keitaro: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! You gírls are NOT going to be rappers!
Kitsune: Well, why not? They get loads of cash for singing rap songs. And they don't even SING. It's more like rhythmic TALKING.
Sarah: YEAH! Rappin' sounds like fun!
Mutsumi: Sarah-chan? What are YOU doin' here??
Sarah: I've been here this whole time! I just didn't speak until now.
Mutsumi: Oh.
Keitaro: OK, let's give it a try!
(So, they then go to Haruka, who is (surprise, surprise) smoking a cigarette)
Keitaro: Yo, Haruka! Ya know anythin' about rappers?
Haruka: Hmm... well, they make a lot of money and have odd stage names like M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, or P. Diddy.
Keitaro: You mean we have to get new names? Aww man...
Haruka: I didn't say it was mandatory!
Kitsune: So... how do we get started?
Haruka: I think yer gonna need a record company to help you.
Shinobu: Where do we find that?
Haruka: Lucky for you, there's a record company over THERE!
Naru: Thanks!
(They go into a small building with the words "Coal Records" on the sign.)
???: Hello! YOU COME HERE TO GET INTO DA MUSIC, YES??
Keitaro: Um, yes!
???: You may call me The Joe Man!
Sarah: Hi, Joe Man! Can ya help us become rappers?
Joe Man: On one condition, yes.
Naru: And what is that?
Joe Man: That you can provide me with COAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaolla: Coal? Is that tasty?
Joe Man: YES!!!!!!!!! At last, I have met another who understands me and my love of COAL!!!!!!!!!
Kaolla: Whatever.
Squall: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!!!!
Joe Man: Squall! Get out of here! You're not supposed to be in this anime!
Seifer: Damn right!
Joe Man: YOU TOO, SEIFER!
Seifer: FINE!
(They teleport out of the area.)
Naru: That was weird... anyway, we don't have any coal right now, but we can get you some later.
Joe Man: AWESOME!!!
Shinobu: What do we do now?
Joe Man: I DON'T KNOW! I never got this far.
Motoko: Now we need a name, I guess.
Naru: How about "Naru and the Püssycats?"
Keitaro: Maybe.
Mutsumi: Yuck! How about "H Club 8?"
Kaolla: Nah. How about "Kaolla Eat World?"
Joe Man: How about "THE JOE MAN EXPERIENCE WITH LOTS OF COAL FOR THE JOE MAN TO SLIDE DOWN HIS THROAT IN A DELECTABLE WAY BAND?"
Keitaro: NO! And yer not even IN the group!
Joe Man: Crap!
Sarah: How about "Gírlz `n da Inn?"
Joe Man: WOW! THAT'S #*%$%@# COOL!
Shinobu: I like it!
Motoko: Me too!
Keitaro: But I'm not a gírl...
Joe Man: We'll find something for you to do.
Keitaro: What?
Joe Man: I DUNNO!
(Joe Man starts eating coal. At some point he has a heart attack, his MedicAlert bracelet beeps, and paramedics take him away.)
Keitaro: I guess I'm the manager then.
Kitsune: Oh great. First the inn, now this?
Keitaro: Yes. It is my sole duty to control your lives. Big Brother is watching you!
(Naru kicks Keitaro's ass.)
Naru: You përvert! *&$@ you!
Keitaro: Owww!! I was just kidding!!!
Sarah: So, what's next? Do we have to meet more coal-eating idiots?
Keitaro: I think we need a place to perform, or a CD to sell, or something.
Naru: No, first we need a SONG!!
Keitaro: Oh yeah...
(So they try writing a song, but they are displeased with what they've got)
Kaolla: Why can't we write anything good?
Shinobu: Because half of the songs you write are about you eating Tama-chan.
Kaolla: And I SHOULD eat that damn turtle!
Kitsune: Let's face it: we can't write rap songs.
Keitaro: I guess we need to find someone who can.
???: That can be arranged.
Sarah: Who's that?
RedPanther: HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm the fanfic author!
Naru: How'd you get in here?
Motoko: If I can't use my sword on Keitaro-san, I should use it on this idiot!
RedPanther: I'm no idiot! I'm just a writer of insane fanfics like this.
DragonDude: Yeah! Like me!
Kaolla: Oh great! Not another one!
DragonDude: YO! I CREATED THE JOE MAN!
Shinobu: What the????
RedPanther: That's right. Now, HERE'S A SONG!!!!!!
DragonDude: Word!
(RedPanther and DragonDude leave)
Naru: This will work... I guess.
Sarah: Yeah! I can't wait to try it!
Mutsumi: I just hope this goes well.
Motoko: You and the rest of us, Mutsumi.
(Later, they manage to get a bunch of people gathered)
BladderBoy: Why, again, are we here?
FartSkunk: Cuz I FARTED us here!
Edgar Garibaldi: Where's the vending machines?
Butt-head: Huh huh, cool. A bunch of chicks!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh heh!
Butt-head: This is the greatest day of our lives.
Beavis: You said that about a bunch of other days!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis!
Binky the Clown: Heeeeyyy, kids! It's Binky the Clown!
Cid Highwind: (Looking at a shampoo bottle) "Tear-free?" What the $%#@ does that mean?
Lucca: It means there's no tears, I guess. Now, I must fix the Gate Key.
Crono: ...
Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko! Let's make a gookie!
Cid: &#%@ off!
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca III! But you can call me Dot!
Michael Jackson: Woo! This is gonna be great!
CowMonkey: Yaay! I'm finally in a fanfic!!!!
Comic Book Guy: Worst crossover fanfic ever!
CowMonkey: Shh! It's starting!
(Keitaro goes on stage to make an announcement)
Keitaro: Hey hey! Glad you could all be here! We now present the newest in hip-hop... GÍRLZ `N DA INN!!! With their first song, "Redefinition!"
(The gírls are on stage in rapper outfits)
Kitsune: YO yo yo! We are the group "`n da Inn," comma "Gírlz," and our songs are better than those annoying flying squirrels!
Naru: This song is for all the happenin' dudes out there, umm, uh, all the dudes from the corners four!
Shinobu: It's for anyone, but it's not for everyone! This song is the definition, the new rendition!
Kaolla: It's the redefinition of what rappin' is about!
Sarah: YEAH! The redefinition!
Motoko: The newest hippest re-mix-ion!
Mutsumi: It's the redefinition of what rappin' is about!
All seven gírls: OH YEAH!
(The audience is silent)
Yakko: What was THAT??!
Wakko: BUUUURRRRRRPPPP!!!!
Stan: Dude! That was awesome!
Kenny: (Muffled speech)
Cid: No it wasn't! It sucked áss!
Scratchy: I hated it too!
(Itchy stabs Scratchy)
Itchy: What are you talkin' about?? THEY ROCKED!!
CowMonkey: That certainly was weird!
Beavis: Hey! Don't diss the chicks! Heh heh heh!
Butt-head: Huh huh! Yeah! Cuz they're hót! Huh huh huh huh!
BladderBoy: Shut up, or I'll melt yer faces off!
(A fight starts in the audience)
Haruka: Well, if that's not a controversial song, I don't know what is.
Keitaro: Shut up.
Shinobu: Things aren't looking too good for us...
Scratchy: What are YOU complaining about?! You didn't get stabbed by a mouse!!
Itchy: YAAA!!!
(Itchy chops Scratchy with a chainsaw. Then, RedPanther and DragonDude walk on in.)
RedPanther: Uh-oh...
DragonDude: We've gotta do something!
Kitsune: No shÃt, Sherlock!
DragonDude: How about this? HEY FARTSKUNK!!!
FartSkunk: What??
DragonDude: Use your Stun Fart!
FartSkunk: No way!!
RedPanther: Darn!
Motoko: I'll stop them! Zantetsusen!
(She uses Zantetsusen on the audience, and Kenny is hit into the air. He falls down several seconds later. Some rats rush onto his body.)
Stan: Oh my God! You kílled Kenny!
Kyle: You bastárd!
Butt-head: Dammit! What did we say about dissing them??
DragonDude: FartSkunk! DO YOUR ATTACK, NOW!
Beavis: Heh heh, he said, "do."
FartSkunk: NO!
DragonDude: I created you, and I can also destroy you! NOW, DO YER STINKIN' ATTACK!!!!
FartSkunk: FINE!!!
(FartSkunk farts, and people start fainting. Later...)
Naru: Ughh... where are we?
Binky: Dammit! I'm a clown, not a map!
Yakko: Very funny, Binky McCoy!!
Lucca: I can find out with my GPS!
(Lucca looks for her GPS device)
Cartman: God dammit! I can't find my Cheesy Poofs!
Sarah: RedPanther and DragonDude, this is all your fault! If you hadn't written the fic this way, we wouldn't be here!
Butt-head: At least the chicks are here.
Beavis: Oh yeah, baby! Heh heh!
Butt-head: Huh huh huh huh! Come to Butt-head!
Beavis: No! Come to ME! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
(The duo of dorkdom is massacred by the Hinata residents)
Dot: Good, they were getting annoying.
Lucca: I've found it! We are at Boddiopolis, wherever the hell that is.
BladderBoy: Yayy! We're home, FartSkunk!
Michael Jackson: DragonDude, your creations were no help at all!
FartSkunk: Oh, so we weren't, were we? Well, you can forget about us helping you!
(BladderBoy and FartSkunk leave)
Comic Book Guy: Oh, great! JUST great!
RedPanther: Don't worry, everyone!
DragonDude: We got you in this, and we'll get you out!
Naru: How?
DragonDude: Uhh... umm...
RedPanther: We're still working on that.
Cid: Think of something in 5 minutes or I'll use Knights of the Round on you!
RedPanther: Be patient, be patient!
CowMonkey: Hurry up!
Mutsumi: Why bother? This isn't even a Love Hina fic anymore! It's now a Love Hina/Final Fantasy VII/Simpsons/Final Fantasy VIII/Author Created Character/Self-Insertion/Animaniacs/South Park/Beavis and Butt-head/Real Person/Garfield/Chrono Trigger fic!
Keitaro: Your point being...?
Mutsumi: Anything that we try do will just make this fic even stupider than it is now!
Shinobu: So what DO we do?
(A moment of confused silence passes)
Stan: Don't look at us! We still have to get Kenny back!
Cid: I dunno what the *#$^ we should do!
Chrono: ...
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please. I am a comic store owner, not a miracle worker.
Kaolla: I've got it!
(Everyone looks at Kaolla)
Kaolla: I can use my newest invention, the Fanfic Eliminator, to get us out of this fic!
Lucca: HEY! I'm the one who invented that!
Kaolla: No, I am!
???: This looks like a job for...
RedPanther: Antipode871?
DragonDude: No, not this time.
???: ...©OPY®IGH™AN!!!
RedPanther: Yayy! Another creation of mine!
©opy®igh™an: I sense that one of you may have STOLEN an idea from the other!
Kaolla: What are you talking about?
Lucca: We just thought of it at the same time, apparently.
©opy®igh™an: Don't get in the way of my fun! I'm gonna beat up one of you, and there's nothing you can do to change that!
???: It doesn't matter anymore. As long as we get out of here.
Edgar: Who're you?
Harry: I am... Harry Potter!
(Everyone does an anime fall)
Motoko: Why is there always a Harry Potter reference in every Crossovers fic?
Antipode871: Because I'm obsessed!
DragonDude: Antipode? You're not supposed to be here!
Antipode871: I'm not. This is just a hologram. I'm really in front of a Barnes & Noble store, an' I won't be back until June 21. No one's gonna get Order of Phoenix before me!
Kitsune: This is getting insane!
Shinobu: Just destroy the fanfic already!
©opy®igh™an: But I haven't had fun yet...
Lucca: Too bad!
Kaolla: Commence fic destruction!
<Fic destruction starting...>
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< ;Fic destruction complete.>
[Author's Note: The machines have destroyed almost all of the fanfic after Boddiopolis, so we will not know much about what happened after that. However, I managed to salvage this from the wreck. I apologize for any inconvenience.]
(Everyone made it back to their respective homes (somehow), and Keitaro is in his room, reflecting on the whole mess.)
Keitaro: On one hand, we didn't make much money. On the other hand, the experience did relieve us of our boredom. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.
(Naru is walking by. She hears this, and stops.)
Naru: You glad to be back, too?
Keitaro: Yeah.
(Then, the Joe Man appears with ©opy®igh™an!)
Joe Man: Where's my coal??? You said you'd pay me in coal, you chiselers!
©opy®igh™an: Yeah, and I still haven't beaten up any bad guys!
Motoko: Get out of here, Joe Man and ©opy®igh™an! You've caused enough chaos in one fic!
Kaolla: Uh-oh. I guess my invention missed this part! Or was it Lucca's?
©opy®igh™an: SEE?? This is why I need to beat up one of you!
Kitsune: No, it's why you need to *#$^ off!
Sarah: Yeah! #*&# off!
Shinobu: <GASP!> Sarah-chan! You said the f-word!
Keitaro: Ya damn *#^@&^$ right she did!
Shinobu: Not you too, Urashima-senpai!
©opy®igh™an: WHO CARES???
Naru: I'm getting confused!
Mutsumi: That fic eliminator made things worse! Let's just end the fic ourselves.
Haruka: Allow me!
(Haruka produces a pistol, and shoots bullet holes into the wall spelling "THE END")
Keitaro: Aunt Haruka! You damaged my wall!
Haruka: Stop speaking, and let the fic end!
©opy®igh™an: NOOOOO! DON'T END!
Haruka: Too freakin' bad!
(RedPanther and DragonDude appear)
Naru: What the hell??
RedPanther: Here ya go, as promised! You can say "word" now!
Haruka: Well, I suppose it'll be less annoying than ©opy®igh™an and the Joe Man. Go ahead!
DragonDude: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!
THE (crappy and confusing?) END!!!
By RedPanther and DragonDude
(Rated [PG-13] for violénce and moderate/strong language)
Disclaimer: TV Tokyo, Xebec, and Ken Akamatsu own Love Hina (created by Ken Akamatsu). I don't know who owns Boyz `n da Hood. RedPanther owns MidgetRappa and ©opy®igh(tm)an (both created by RedPanther). J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and Scholastic Books own Harry Potter (created by J.K. Rowling). M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, P. Diddy, and Michael Jackson own themselves. MTV Networks owns MTV Cribs (created by MTV Networks) and Beavis and Butt-head (created by Mike Judge). Gracie Films and Twentieth Century Fox own The Simpsons (created by Matt Groening). George Orwell owns 1984 (created by George Orwell). Antipode871 owns CowMonkiez and Edgar Garibaldi (both created by Antipode 871). Braniff and Comedy Central own South Park (created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone). Jim Davis and Paws own Garfield (created by Jim Davis). Amblin Entertainment and Warner Brothers own Animaniacs (created by Steven Spielberg). Hanna-Barbera owns Josie and the Püssycats (created by Hanna-Barbera). S Club 7 and Jimmy Eat World own themselves. Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, and Chrono Trigger (all created by Square Enix). Jhonen Vasquez owns Invader ZIM (created by Jhonen Vasquez). DragonDude owns The Joe Man, BladderBoy, and FartSkunk (all created by DragonDude). No copyright infringement is intended, just entertainment.
[Note: I have never seen the Love Hina TV show. Well, except for a few clips of the anime. However, I have read Volume 1 of the manga. Oh, and I've ascertained a lot of information from the Internet. So, if the characters seem out of character, I apologize. I just felt there was a need for an insane and humorous fanfic for this anime.]
(It started out as a relatively normal day at Hinata Inn. Keitaro had managed to avoid getting his ass kicked yet again by the residents. Everyone was BORED this day, though.)
Keitaro: At least I'm not getting punched or anything.
Naru: Hate to break it to ya, but the narrator already said that.
Keitaro: I know. What should we do today, gírls?
Mutsumi: How about we read some Invader ZIM fics?
Kitsune: We did that yesterday, dumbass.
Kaolla: How about looking at one of my inventions?
Keitaro: No thanks. Whenever we look at one of your creations, trouble rears its ugly head.
Motoko: How `bout I slice some stuff?
Keitaro: That's usually only when you're kickin' my ass, and I don't like getting my ass kicked!
Motoko: Well, maybe if you weren't a perv, then we wouldn't kick yer ass!
Keitaro: I'M NOT A PERV!!! It's just that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Motoko: Riiiight...
Shinobu: How about some TV?
Naru: Sure, why not?
(They turn on the TV. "MTV Cribs" is on, and it's featuring MidgetRappa.)
MidgetRappa: Yeah, my house is the most rockin' house, almost as rockin' as my bling bling!
Host of MTV Cribs: And you say this was from your life as a rap artist?
MidgetRappa: Hell yeah! And why are you askin' such &$%@*#& obvious questions that everyone ALREADY KNOWS THE *#^$%#@ ANSWERS TO??!
Host: I dunno. These were just some lame stock questions I was given to try and make the fanfic go somewhere.
MidgetRappa: Fanfic?
Host: Oh, dammit! I wasn't supposed to say that this is a fanfic!
MidgetRappa: &$%@!!!
(Kaolla turns off the TV)
Kaolla: That was... weird.
Naru: Rappers, eh? (To the gírls) You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Keitaro: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! You gírls are NOT going to be rappers!
Kitsune: Well, why not? They get loads of cash for singing rap songs. And they don't even SING. It's more like rhythmic TALKING.
Sarah: YEAH! Rappin' sounds like fun!
Mutsumi: Sarah-chan? What are YOU doin' here??
Sarah: I've been here this whole time! I just didn't speak until now.
Mutsumi: Oh.
Keitaro: OK, let's give it a try!
(So, they then go to Haruka, who is (surprise, surprise) smoking a cigarette)
Keitaro: Yo, Haruka! Ya know anythin' about rappers?
Haruka: Hmm... well, they make a lot of money and have odd stage names like M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, or P. Diddy.
Keitaro: You mean we have to get new names? Aww man...
Haruka: I didn't say it was mandatory!
Kitsune: So... how do we get started?
Haruka: I think yer gonna need a record company to help you.
Shinobu: Where do we find that?
Haruka: Lucky for you, there's a record company over THERE!
Naru: Thanks!
(They go into a small building with the words "Coal Records" on the sign.)
???: Hello! YOU COME HERE TO GET INTO DA MUSIC, YES??
Keitaro: Um, yes!
???: You may call me The Joe Man!
Sarah: Hi, Joe Man! Can ya help us become rappers?
Joe Man: On one condition, yes.
Naru: And what is that?
Joe Man: That you can provide me with COAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaolla: Coal? Is that tasty?
Joe Man: YES!!!!!!!!! At last, I have met another who understands me and my love of COAL!!!!!!!!!
Kaolla: Whatever.
Squall: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!!!!
Joe Man: Squall! Get out of here! You're not supposed to be in this anime!
Seifer: Damn right!
Joe Man: YOU TOO, SEIFER!
Seifer: FINE!
(They teleport out of the area.)
Naru: That was weird... anyway, we don't have any coal right now, but we can get you some later.
Joe Man: AWESOME!!!
Shinobu: What do we do now?
Joe Man: I DON'T KNOW! I never got this far.
Motoko: Now we need a name, I guess.
Naru: How about "Naru and the Püssycats?"
Keitaro: Maybe.
Mutsumi: Yuck! How about "H Club 8?"
Kaolla: Nah. How about "Kaolla Eat World?"
Joe Man: How about "THE JOE MAN EXPERIENCE WITH LOTS OF COAL FOR THE JOE MAN TO SLIDE DOWN HIS THROAT IN A DELECTABLE WAY BAND?"
Keitaro: NO! And yer not even IN the group!
Joe Man: Crap!
Sarah: How about "Gírlz `n da Inn?"
Joe Man: WOW! THAT'S #*%$%@# COOL!
Shinobu: I like it!
Motoko: Me too!
Keitaro: But I'm not a gírl...
Joe Man: We'll find something for you to do.
Keitaro: What?
Joe Man: I DUNNO!
(Joe Man starts eating coal. At some point he has a heart attack, his MedicAlert bracelet beeps, and paramedics take him away.)
Keitaro: I guess I'm the manager then.
Kitsune: Oh great. First the inn, now this?
Keitaro: Yes. It is my sole duty to control your lives. Big Brother is watching you!
(Naru kicks Keitaro's ass.)
Naru: You përvert! *&$@ you!
Keitaro: Owww!! I was just kidding!!!
Sarah: So, what's next? Do we have to meet more coal-eating idiots?
Keitaro: I think we need a place to perform, or a CD to sell, or something.
Naru: No, first we need a SONG!!
Keitaro: Oh yeah...
(So they try writing a song, but they are displeased with what they've got)
Kaolla: Why can't we write anything good?
Shinobu: Because half of the songs you write are about you eating Tama-chan.
Kaolla: And I SHOULD eat that damn turtle!
Kitsune: Let's face it: we can't write rap songs.
Keitaro: I guess we need to find someone who can.
???: That can be arranged.
Sarah: Who's that?
RedPanther: HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm the fanfic author!
Naru: How'd you get in here?
Motoko: If I can't use my sword on Keitaro-san, I should use it on this idiot!
RedPanther: I'm no idiot! I'm just a writer of insane fanfics like this.
DragonDude: Yeah! Like me!
Kaolla: Oh great! Not another one!
DragonDude: YO! I CREATED THE JOE MAN!
Shinobu: What the????
RedPanther: That's right. Now, HERE'S A SONG!!!!!!
DragonDude: Word!
(RedPanther and DragonDude leave)
Naru: This will work... I guess.
Sarah: Yeah! I can't wait to try it!
Mutsumi: I just hope this goes well.
Motoko: You and the rest of us, Mutsumi.
(Later, they manage to get a bunch of people gathered)
BladderBoy: Why, again, are we here?
FartSkunk: Cuz I FARTED us here!
Edgar Garibaldi: Where's the vending machines?
Butt-head: Huh huh, cool. A bunch of chicks!
Beavis: Yeah! Heh heh!
Butt-head: This is the greatest day of our lives.
Beavis: You said that about a bunch of other days!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis!
Binky the Clown: Heeeeyyy, kids! It's Binky the Clown!
Cid Highwind: (Looking at a shampoo bottle) "Tear-free?" What the $%#@ does that mean?
Lucca: It means there's no tears, I guess. Now, I must fix the Gate Key.
Crono: ...
Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko! Let's make a gookie!
Cid: &#%@ off!
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca III! But you can call me Dot!
Michael Jackson: Woo! This is gonna be great!
CowMonkey: Yaay! I'm finally in a fanfic!!!!
Comic Book Guy: Worst crossover fanfic ever!
CowMonkey: Shh! It's starting!
(Keitaro goes on stage to make an announcement)
Keitaro: Hey hey! Glad you could all be here! We now present the newest in hip-hop... GÍRLZ `N DA INN!!! With their first song, "Redefinition!"
(The gírls are on stage in rapper outfits)
Kitsune: YO yo yo! We are the group "`n da Inn," comma "Gírlz," and our songs are better than those annoying flying squirrels!
Naru: This song is for all the happenin' dudes out there, umm, uh, all the dudes from the corners four!
Shinobu: It's for anyone, but it's not for everyone! This song is the definition, the new rendition!
Kaolla: It's the redefinition of what rappin' is about!
Sarah: YEAH! The redefinition!
Motoko: The newest hippest re-mix-ion!
Mutsumi: It's the redefinition of what rappin' is about!
All seven gírls: OH YEAH!
(The audience is silent)
Yakko: What was THAT??!
Wakko: BUUUURRRRRRPPPP!!!!
Stan: Dude! That was awesome!
Kenny: (Muffled speech)
Cid: No it wasn't! It sucked áss!
Scratchy: I hated it too!
(Itchy stabs Scratchy)
Itchy: What are you talkin' about?? THEY ROCKED!!
CowMonkey: That certainly was weird!
Beavis: Hey! Don't diss the chicks! Heh heh heh!
Butt-head: Huh huh! Yeah! Cuz they're hót! Huh huh huh huh!
BladderBoy: Shut up, or I'll melt yer faces off!
(A fight starts in the audience)
Haruka: Well, if that's not a controversial song, I don't know what is.
Keitaro: Shut up.
Shinobu: Things aren't looking too good for us...
Scratchy: What are YOU complaining about?! You didn't get stabbed by a mouse!!
Itchy: YAAA!!!
(Itchy chops Scratchy with a chainsaw. Then, RedPanther and DragonDude walk on in.)
RedPanther: Uh-oh...
DragonDude: We've gotta do something!
Kitsune: No shÃt, Sherlock!
DragonDude: How about this? HEY FARTSKUNK!!!
FartSkunk: What??
DragonDude: Use your Stun Fart!
FartSkunk: No way!!
RedPanther: Darn!
Motoko: I'll stop them! Zantetsusen!
(She uses Zantetsusen on the audience, and Kenny is hit into the air. He falls down several seconds later. Some rats rush onto his body.)
Stan: Oh my God! You kílled Kenny!
Kyle: You bastárd!
Butt-head: Dammit! What did we say about dissing them??
DragonDude: FartSkunk! DO YOUR ATTACK, NOW!
Beavis: Heh heh, he said, "do."
FartSkunk: NO!
DragonDude: I created you, and I can also destroy you! NOW, DO YER STINKIN' ATTACK!!!!
FartSkunk: FINE!!!
(FartSkunk farts, and people start fainting. Later...)
Naru: Ughh... where are we?
Binky: Dammit! I'm a clown, not a map!
Yakko: Very funny, Binky McCoy!!
Lucca: I can find out with my GPS!
(Lucca looks for her GPS device)
Cartman: God dammit! I can't find my Cheesy Poofs!
Sarah: RedPanther and DragonDude, this is all your fault! If you hadn't written the fic this way, we wouldn't be here!
Butt-head: At least the chicks are here.
Beavis: Oh yeah, baby! Heh heh!
Butt-head: Huh huh huh huh! Come to Butt-head!
Beavis: No! Come to ME! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
(The duo of dorkdom is massacred by the Hinata residents)
Dot: Good, they were getting annoying.
Lucca: I've found it! We are at Boddiopolis, wherever the hell that is.
BladderBoy: Yayy! We're home, FartSkunk!
Michael Jackson: DragonDude, your creations were no help at all!
FartSkunk: Oh, so we weren't, were we? Well, you can forget about us helping you!
(BladderBoy and FartSkunk leave)
Comic Book Guy: Oh, great! JUST great!
RedPanther: Don't worry, everyone!
DragonDude: We got you in this, and we'll get you out!
Naru: How?
DragonDude: Uhh... umm...
RedPanther: We're still working on that.
Cid: Think of something in 5 minutes or I'll use Knights of the Round on you!
RedPanther: Be patient, be patient!
CowMonkey: Hurry up!
Mutsumi: Why bother? This isn't even a Love Hina fic anymore! It's now a Love Hina/Final Fantasy VII/Simpsons/Final Fantasy VIII/Author Created Character/Self-Insertion/Animaniacs/South Park/Beavis and Butt-head/Real Person/Garfield/Chrono Trigger fic!
Keitaro: Your point being...?
Mutsumi: Anything that we try do will just make this fic even stupider than it is now!
Shinobu: So what DO we do?
(A moment of confused silence passes)
Stan: Don't look at us! We still have to get Kenny back!
Cid: I dunno what the *#$^ we should do!
Chrono: ...
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please. I am a comic store owner, not a miracle worker.
Kaolla: I've got it!
(Everyone looks at Kaolla)
Kaolla: I can use my newest invention, the Fanfic Eliminator, to get us out of this fic!
Lucca: HEY! I'm the one who invented that!
Kaolla: No, I am!
???: This looks like a job for...
RedPanther: Antipode871?
DragonDude: No, not this time.
???: ...©OPY®IGH™AN!!!
RedPanther: Yayy! Another creation of mine!
©opy®igh™an: I sense that one of you may have STOLEN an idea from the other!
Kaolla: What are you talking about?
Lucca: We just thought of it at the same time, apparently.
©opy®igh™an: Don't get in the way of my fun! I'm gonna beat up one of you, and there's nothing you can do to change that!
???: It doesn't matter anymore. As long as we get out of here.
Edgar: Who're you?
Harry: I am... Harry Potter!
(Everyone does an anime fall)
Motoko: Why is there always a Harry Potter reference in every Crossovers fic?
Antipode871: Because I'm obsessed!
DragonDude: Antipode? You're not supposed to be here!
Antipode871: I'm not. This is just a hologram. I'm really in front of a Barnes & Noble store, an' I won't be back until June 21. No one's gonna get Order of Phoenix before me!
Kitsune: This is getting insane!
Shinobu: Just destroy the fanfic already!
©opy®igh™an: But I haven't had fun yet...
Lucca: Too bad!
Kaolla: Commence fic destruction!
<Fic destruction starting...>
(Then, Kaolla and Lucca turn on the machine, and then theficisstartingto23y4i34jlhn43 eiousdsaekljhsaJoeManILUhedskljseiqweri34it76bf325jijg yweiuoeyeiuoewrinHarukaihwilhgrkhkgdsCidghkljadsfnrehrwekuhtg589ow5y&*% *&$^9kighu76439057 ud dud ddudududududududududududududududdududududdududududdududududyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)
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Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter, Antipode871 loves Harry Potter!!!
Hglhsdlsslklkj©OPY®IGH™ANWILLRETURN!!!!!! !KLLDHWOIUWEOIUY$OI$!!!
Insanity are we!
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< ;Fic destruction complete.>
[Author's Note: The machines have destroyed almost all of the fanfic after Boddiopolis, so we will not know much about what happened after that. However, I managed to salvage this from the wreck. I apologize for any inconvenience.]
(Everyone made it back to their respective homes (somehow), and Keitaro is in his room, reflecting on the whole mess.)
Keitaro: On one hand, we didn't make much money. On the other hand, the experience did relieve us of our boredom. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.
(Naru is walking by. She hears this, and stops.)
Naru: You glad to be back, too?
Keitaro: Yeah.
(Then, the Joe Man appears with ©opy®igh™an!)
Joe Man: Where's my coal??? You said you'd pay me in coal, you chiselers!
©opy®igh™an: Yeah, and I still haven't beaten up any bad guys!
Motoko: Get out of here, Joe Man and ©opy®igh™an! You've caused enough chaos in one fic!
Kaolla: Uh-oh. I guess my invention missed this part! Or was it Lucca's?
©opy®igh™an: SEE?? This is why I need to beat up one of you!
Kitsune: No, it's why you need to *#$^ off!
Sarah: Yeah! #*&# off!
Shinobu: <GASP!> Sarah-chan! You said the f-word!
Keitaro: Ya damn *#^@&^$ right she did!
Shinobu: Not you too, Urashima-senpai!
©opy®igh™an: WHO CARES???
Naru: I'm getting confused!
Mutsumi: That fic eliminator made things worse! Let's just end the fic ourselves.
Haruka: Allow me!
(Haruka produces a pistol, and shoots bullet holes into the wall spelling "THE END")
Keitaro: Aunt Haruka! You damaged my wall!
Haruka: Stop speaking, and let the fic end!
©opy®igh™an: NOOOOO! DON'T END!
Haruka: Too freakin' bad!
(RedPanther and DragonDude appear)
Naru: What the hell??
RedPanther: Here ya go, as promised! You can say "word" now!
Haruka: Well, I suppose it'll be less annoying than ©opy®igh™an and the Joe Man. Go ahead!
DragonDude: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!
THE (crappy and confusing?) END!!!