Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Ships in the Night ❯ Clearing Datum ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: hawker_748 
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.20.2006 | Pages: 10 | Words: 10.8K | Visits: 3.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Love Hina Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.20.2006 | Pages: 10 | Words: 10.8K | Visits: 3.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: See Chapter One
C+C is welcome at hawker_748@hotmail.com.
This story idea was inspired by SimmyC, who graciously allowed me to pick up the ball and run with it.
Thanks Man!
“X” Spoken words
‘X’ Thoughts
Manga continuity, after the “Burn-Up Blade” story line
Love Hina:
Ships in the Night
Chapter Four: Clearing Datum
Keitaro slowly completed the transition from slumber to wakefulness; nothing had caused him to stir, his body just decided that it was time to get up. He opened his eyes, blinking to clear away the early morning fog and sand, and looked at his clock. 8:38. Fortunately, it was a Saturday, and there had been no pressing need for him to wake up early. ‘Well, it’s not like the others would be in a hurry to deal with me anyway…’
Just over three weeks had passed since Valentine’s Day. While he didn’t think of it as the ‘St. Valentine’s Day Massacre’, he’d read about that in his American history textbook, it had caused his loathing of the day to return with a vengeance. On that day, Toshio Aoyama had calmly, but effectively, thrown Keitaro’s happy existence into a blast furnace. Keitaro didn’t begrudge him his revenge though, as he’d done it to him first, the night he’d slept with Tsuruko.
It had been a lonely three weeks; he’d hardly talked to anyone since that day, and the residents were actively avoiding him, an action he reciprocated. The few times he did encounter a resident, he was unable to meet their gaze, and he kept his eyes downward. Naru and Motoko were the only ones openly hostile to him, shooting him icy stares and growling threats, while the others were merely distant.
Shinobu seemed to be the only exception; she hadn’t talked to him, but on a few occasions, she had secretly placed a tray of food in his room, giving him a brief respite from the diet of cup ramen he had been living on. He hadn’t been able to thank her properly, but he had nodded gratefully the one time he’d been in the same room as her without someone scrutinizing him.
The experience reminded Keitaro of the time just after he’d become the landlord; the residents had made a concerted effort to drive him off by working him to death and giving him nothing but cold shoulder. This time, Keitaro was the one who kept finding tasks to do, as the activity made time go faster and gave him something to focus on besides how miserable he was feeling. He’d even gone as far as to place a box outside his room for the residents to place maintenance requests so he’d have more things to do, and so that the residents wouldn’t have to talk to him.
Not having anything pressing at the moment, and certain that the others were in no rush to see him, Keitaro rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were automatically drawn to the hole in the ceiling. Or rather, they were drawn to where the hole in the ceiling had once been. The first task he’d found in his ‘job box’ was a note from Naru requesting, ‘No, make that demanding,’ he amended, that he fix the floor in her room immediately.
Keitaro had been expecting this, but expecting it hadn’t made it any easier. Naru was effectively locking him out, putting as many barriers as she could between the two of them, both physical and psychological. He’d closed his eyes and crumpled the paper, knowing that he had nothing to say to defend himself. He continued to blame himself, even if Tsuruko apparently didn’t. ‘I’m guilty enough for the both of us,’ he thought grimly. He’d picked up his toolkit and headed up the stairs, trudging slowly to Naru’s room. “It’s me Naru, I’m here to fix the floor,” he called out when he knocked on the door. These had been the first words he’d spoken to her since Valentine’s Day.
Without a word, the door opened and Naru gestured for him to come in with a quick jerk of her head. Keitaro slowly walked in, not surprised by Naru’s actions. He was a little surprised to find Motoko waiting inside Naru’s room as well. He was about to greet her out of habit, but the look of disgust and utter contempt she was giving him killed any thought of conversation.
Sighing to himself, Keitaro lifted up Naru’s Liddo-kun doll, removed the plywood cover, and set about finally repairing the floor. As he started hammering out the broken boards, he felt himself thinking back to all that had occurred because of this hole. The times he’d accidentally peeped Naru, the one time she’d peeped him, although she’d still belted HIM for that. The times she’d just dropped in to say ‘hi.’ This hole held a lot of memories, some pleasant, some not so pleasant, and Keitaro finally realized just how significant it was to be sealing it.
He came out of his brief reverie and noticed that Naru and Motoko were watching him closely. In spite of all the tension between them, Keitaro couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Why-why are you both here?” The attention was making him uncomfortable.
“The last time you tried to fix this, you ended up reading my diary,” Naru answered coldly. “After what you did with Tsuruko, who knows what you’d try.”
Keitaro bit back the retort that had sprung to his lips. She was right. He’d snooped the last time he’d tried fixing the floor. He’d only been curious about what she’d thought of him, but he should have known better. Besides, he didn’t think that either Naru or Motoko were willing to accept any insolence from him, no matter how worthy it might have been. He simply resumed hammering out the rotten boards, hitting them with a little more force than necessary.
Once the boards were removed, Keitaro used a flashlight to examine the floor joists, ensuring that they were structurally sound before he began to install the new floorboards. There were no sounds other than the hammering of wood and Keitaro’s breathing. Finally after about thirty minutes the job was done. Keitaro carefully placed his weight on the floor to test his work, and when he was satisfied that it would hold, he gathered up his tools and started to walk out of the room.
“One moment bastard…”
‘Motoko…’ thought Keitaro resignedly. ‘Now what have I done? Other than continue to breathe, I mean?’ “Yes…?” Later, Keitaro would wonder when he’d accepted the idea of responding to the insult as if it was actually his name.
“The light in my room needs changing. Get me a bulb so I can change it.”
“Don’t worry, I can do it-”
“You’re not coming into MY room.”
Another sigh. “Fine… Follow me, and I’ll get it for you.” He turned and walked out, not really caring if Motoko followed him or not. He idly noticed that she fell into step behind him.
“I cannot believe my sister would defend you,” Motoko commented as they made their way downstairs. “The very idea that she would seek you company… She must have been disturbed by what you did.”
Keitaro didn’t reply to Motoko’s venom, he simply withstood it. The idea of defending his actions never occurred to him; he was willing to accept all of the blame as a sort of penance. Besides, the notion of trying to shift some of the responsibility to Tsuruko would have felt like blaming the victim to him. There was also no telling how Motoko would react to him giving his side of the story. She’d promised Tsuruko not to harm him, but if he upset her…
“Aren’t you going to give me an excuse?”
Motoko’s question interrupted his ponderings. “No.”
“Why not?”
‘Because it’s my fault. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t want to ruin your image of your sister,’ Keitaro thought. “Would it make a difference?” he asked.
“No.”
“There you go…” Keitaro walked to a storage closet, opened it and pulled out a light bulb and handed it to Motoko. “Bulbs are kept here. If you need one, take one.” He then turned around and walked back to his room, its lonely isolation preferable to the hostility he experienced dealing with the residents.
Finishing his recollection, Keitaro closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. He’d continued to sequester himself away in his room unless absolutely necessary. ‘Yeah, hiding away isn’t the best way to deal with this,’ he reasoned, ‘but damned if I can think of anything else…’
He got up out of his futon, stretching and hearing his back pop and snap. The aroma of breakfast wafted into his nose, causing his mouth to water like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Keitaro thought longingly of one of Shinobu’s breakfasts, as he regarded his stash of cup ramen with distaste. He’d bought some fruit to supplement his vitamin intake, but after becoming used to Shinobu’s cooking, going back to bachelor eats was itself a torment.
Since everyone else was eating, it would be safe for him to head to his bathroom and bathe. Gathering his bath supplies, Keitaro swiftly but carefully made his way to the little bathroom, looking around to ensure he didn’t unexpectedly run into a resident who was late for breakfast.
Once in the bathroom, he let out a relieved sigh and began his morning cleansing, idly wondering what he’d be doing today if nothing came up. ‘Go into town perhaps? Catch a movie?’ Keitaro had spent as much time as possible away from the residence, when he wasn’t secluded in his room, all the better to avoid interacting with the others. He rinsed himself off and slipped into the tub, letting the hot water relax him, as his thoughts returned to the previous three weeks. ‘It hasn’t been all bad,’ he mused silently. ‘The nightmares have stopped…’
Keitaro’s sleep was no longer haunted by fears of being discovered. ‘Why should it? I’ve already been found out.’ Keitaro slumped back into the tub, staring at the ceiling. ‘I still dream about Tsuruko though… Why hasn’t that stopped?’ No answers were forthcoming, not that he had expected them, so he continued his soak.
Twenty minutes later, clean, dry, and dressed, Keitaro made his way back to his room, checking his job box and discovering a new request:
‘There’s a fallen tree in the backyard. Deal with it.’
Keitaro blinked. ‘Fallen tree? Is this a joke?’ Curious, he made his way outside and walked to the back of the residence. ‘Well I‘ll be damned, there is a fallen tree… When did this happen?’ The tree had stood about twenty-five feet tall, before something had knocked it over, the wind, old age, or whatever. It had fallen into the clearing, and while it wasn’t a hazard, it was an eyesore. ‘We won’t be short on firewood for a while.’ Keitaro pursed his lips. While he’d hoped for something to do, this was little more than he’d bargained for. He could do it, but it wasn’t his best skill. Motoko could clear-cut an acre of redwood in a half hour, but this was going to take him all day.
Keitaro went back inside to change into some work clothes, and to retrieve a bow saw and an axe. Once outside, Keitaro took a moment to examine the tree; it had broken off at about three feet from the ground, and had detached cleanly. He first cut down the remnant of the trunk with the bow saw, leaving a stump about three inches high. Once this was done, he began breaking off or cutting off the branches on the main body of the tree. The novelty of the job wore off quickly when he realized that the task was going to be as difficult and tedious as he’d expected. The wood was hard to cut, and was full of sap, sticking to his hands and gumming up the saw.
‘This is gonna take forever… Well, I was hoping for something to do wasn’t I?’ Keitaro shook his head ruefully, learning once again to be careful what he wished for.
It took over two hours to deal with all the branches, cutting them up into small enough pieces to be burned. Any pieces that were small enough he broke by hand, in spite of the risk of splinters, because it allowed him to work off some of his frustration at the job at hand.
Through it all, the sun continued its eternal march across the sky, paying Keitaro no more attention than it did any other life form on the planet. Despite the slight chill in the air, Keitaro was sweating heavily, and as he finally turned his attention to the main trunk of the tree, with a sinking feeling he realized that the hard part hadn’t even begun.
Cutting the trunk into manageable sized pieces for splitting was an arduous, frustrating task, made even worse by the fact that Keitaro hadn’t thought to get a couple of saw horses to hold the trunk at a reasonable height. The wood was even more difficult to cut now, as if it realized what was happening to it and was putting up as much resistance as it could. The saw kept binding, the sap making the blade sticky, and there were times it took everything Keitaro had to get the damned thing loose. ‘If I have to do this again, I’m getting a damn chainsaw!’ he vowed.
At this thought, a random image of the residents panicked reaction to the sight of him with a chainsaw, thinking that he’d finally snapped, entered his mind. This struck him as so funny, he laughed out loud for a few minutes, the first real laugh he’d had in a while.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, getting sap over his face in the process, Keitaro picked the saw back up and went back to his work, thankful that he’d started sawing at the thick end, so it should get easier as he went along. Finally, after ninety minutes of backbreaking work, the trunk was sectioned. He looked over the fruits of his labor with some satisfaction, trying to avoid thinking about how difficult it was going to be to split some of those pieces. He spent another hour gathering up all of the pieces that were small enough to not need splitting and put them into the pile, his back and shoulders grateful for the change in activity, if not rest.
Once all of the pieces were gathered up, and he’d raked up as much of the sawdust as he could, Keitaro reluctantly regarded the leftover pieces of the sectioned trunk, sitting there like unwanted guests at a party. Knowing that staring at them wasn’t going to make them disappear, Keitaro went to the largest one, upended it, took the axe in his hands, raised it over his head, and swung it down as hard as he could.
THUNK!
The axe buried itself into the wood… exactly half an inch. Taken aback, Keitaro tried to pull the axe out, but the log lifted up with the axe head, stuck firm. He stared at it uncomprehendingly for a second, before he tried shaking it loose. Not happening. “Dammit!” he cursed, banging the log on the ground, trying unsuccessfully to knock it loose.
Some days it didn’t pay to get out of bed.
XXX
Unbeknownst to Keitaro, he was being watched while he worked. From the annex rooftop, a pair of olive green eyes dispassionately took in his actions. “What’s wrong bastard?” Motoko murmured softly. “Having trouble handling something that isn’t intoxicated?” Keitaro was having a hell of a time splitting the wood.
At this point, another part of her psyche, one that had become more outspoken and insistent over the past few weeks, made its presence known. ‘He isn’t that strong is he? So how did he overpower Tsuruko?’
Motoko’s eyes narrowed. ‘She-she was drunk! She couldn’t fight him off!’
‘Are we talking about the same Tsuruko?’ her psyche asked. ‘The Tsuruko who once defeated you when she was delirious with a fever of 103?’
‘That was different…’
‘Was it? Or maybe he DIDN’T force himself. She said he didn’t, why don’t you believe her?’
‘She-she couldn’t have, Tsuruko doesn’t make mistakes like that…’ These weren’t new thoughts for Motoko, but she was finding it harder to rebut them based on what she knew.
‘Maybe you just don’t want to admit that she’s only human,’ her mind casually suggested.
‘She isn’t!’ Motoko insisted. ‘She’s never made a mistake in her life, there’s no way she would have had anything to do with Urash- the bastard…’
‘You honestly believe he’d force himself on anyone, let alone Tsuruko?’
‘Yes!’ Motoko replied with some desperation. ‘She-she would never do anything to betray her husband, it isn’t honorable…’ Deep down, Motoko knew that her arguments were tenuous at best. But she’d spent her entire life looking up to Tsuruko. It was easier to demonize Keitaro than face the possibility that her sister actually possessed human flaws.
She continued to observe Keitaro as her internal debate raged. What had been easy to believe at first was now plagued by doubt and uncertainty. Perhaps her anger was misdirected, or even unwarranted, but it was easier to be angry than face an unwelcome truth. Her frown deepened as she found validation on one point. ‘However it happened, he shouldn’t have slept with Tsuruko…’
“He’s still at it?”
With a start, Motoko belatedly realized that Kitsune had joined her on the roof, unnoticed only because of the turmoil in her thought. “He can’t handle a blade. Doesn’t matter if it’s a sword or an axe, he can‘t figure it out.”
Kitsune hmmed noncommittally, as she watched Keitaro try unsuccessfully to split a smaller log. From this distance, she was barely able to hear him cursing violently as he struggled to free the axe from its wooden prison. “You’ve been keeping busy lately, haven’t you Keitaro,” she murmured under her breath. Kitsune then shifted her gaze to Motoko, looking at her closely before speaking. “You can’t really believe he forced himself on your sister, can you?”
Motoko blinked, surprised that Kitsune’s thoughts were so similar to her own. ‘Then again, I haven’t talked about much else when it comes to the bastard,’ she reasoned. “However it happened, he shouldn’t have done anything with Tsuruko.”
“Perhaps…” Kitsune admitted. “But if your sister wasn’t interested in him, I doubt he could have forced her.” She gestured with her head to where Keitaro was now standing on the log and desperately trying to yank out the axe.
“She was drunk…”
“I’VE never been that drunk Motoko,” replied Kitsune. “Even if she was, I’m sure she woulda kicked his ass.”
Despite the fact she’d been close to reaching the same conclusion, Motoko couldn’t bring herself to agree with Kitsune. “We don’t know that, I mean…”
Kitsune shook her head ruefully. Things had gone to hell three weeks ago, and no one seemed to be willing to try and climb out. “What did your sister say?”
Motoko’s jaw set, not liking the direction the conversation was taking. “She blames herself,” she reluctantly admitted.
“Why?”
“Because she’s probably ashamed!” Motoko snapped crossly. She knew it wasn’t that simple, but the alternative was too disconcerting to think about.
“So talk to Keitaro.”
“You think he’d be honest?”
“Yeah… I do.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” Motoko replied after nearly a minute of silence. “No matter how it happened, he slept with my sister. He had to know that was wrong.” She turned and walked away, effectively killing the conversation.
Kitsune grimaced. “Just like I figured,” she grumbled. “No one’s talked to anyone recently.” She took a thoughtful sip from her cup of sake, noticing that Keitaro had finally freed the axe. “It’s time to change that…”
XXX
A couple of days later, Naru was in her room going over her school work when she heard a familiar voice calling to her.
“Naru…”
“What is it Kitsune, I’m kinda busy and-” Naru looked up and broke off after getting a look at her friend’s face. She pursed her lips. “I know that look Kitsune, what are you doing?”
“Moi?” Kitsune asked innocently, gesturing to herself.
“Vous,” replied Naru, not buying the innocent act for a second.
“I just want to talk, that’s all…”
“About what?”
“…Keitaro…” the fox eyed girl replied quietly. She actually felt the room getting colder when Naru’s eyes narrowed in response.
“No.”
“Naru, I know you’re upset, but-”
“Upset? UPSET? I’m miles beyond upset…”
“I know, I know… But what if we’ve been wrong about him?” Kitsune deliberately used ‘we’ so as to not further antagonize her friend.
“He got Tsuruko drunk and slept with her. What are ‘WE’ getting wrong?”
Kitsune flinched at Naru’s rebuke. Taking a deep breath to regain her focus, she pressed on. “You really think Keitaro could have forced himself on TSURUKO of all people? You know, Motoko’s big sister, the one who handed Motoko her ass the first time she came here.”
“I don’t care if they were drunk or sober…”
“Huh?” Kitsune’s mental train jumped off its rails at Naru’s candid admission.
“I haven’t been mad at him because I thought he took advantage of Tsuruko,” Naru clarified. “Keitaro has his faults, but I don’t think he’d do something like that.” Naru thought back to what she’d seen of Tsuruko’s abilities in Kyoto. “Keitaro couldn’t have gotten the upper hand on her unless she was in a coma. Even then, it wouldn’t have been easy.”
“Then why the hell are you so hostile to him?” Kitsune demanded.
“Because he hurt me!” snarled Naru through tightly clenched teeth. Her nostrils were flared, and she had snapped the pencil she‘d been using in two. But after her outburst, she seemed to deflate. She let out a tremulous breath that almost sounded like a sob. Kitsune noticed that there seemed to be some new lines around her eyes, and in spite of her display of anger, she looked like she was exhausted.
“Hurt you…?” Kitsune asked tentatively.
“We were supposed to be together,” Naru replied softly, her tone subdued after her previous outburst. “We both cared for each other, but apparently I didn’t mean enough to him for him to be faithful.” Naru’s brow furrowed and Kitsune noticed that her jaw muscles were jumping. “Tsuruko spread her legs for him and he forgot all about me,” Naru finished bitterly.
Kitsune was taken aback at the smoldering hostility in Naru’s words. “I-I don’t think it was that simple…”
“You’re probably right,” allowed Naru. “But however it happened, Keitaro had sex with her. All the time we knew each other, worked together, tried to help each other, none of that mattered. Tsuruko threw herself at him and he didn’t say no.” Naru had none of her usual energy, sounding completely weary and beaten. “Why couldn’t he have waited for me?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
Naru didn’t reply for a few minutes, and when she did, her reply was unintelligible to Kitsune.
“What was that Naru?”
“I-I don’t know if I want to know…”
“Why?”
Naru gave her friend a pained look. “I haven’t treated Keitaro very well, have I?”
‘How do I answer that tactfully?’ Kitsune wondered. “Um… no?” She winced the second she heard her reply. ‘Smooth. Really smooth Kitsune,’ she admonished herself.
Naru slumped. “You’re right. I just drove him away…”
“It isn’t that easy, and you know it,” insisted Kitsune. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”
“It isn’t that easy, and you know it,” parroted Naru. “How do you talk about something like this? Where would I start? ‘Hey Keitaro, why’d you fuck Tsuruko?’” Naru shook her head in disgust.
“A little discretion wouldn’t kill you…”
“After what Keitaro did, you’re accusing ME of ‘indiscretion’?” Naru asked incredulously.
“No, I’m trying to work things out.”
Silence reigned in Naru’s room for a few minutes, before it was finally broken by Naru. “I know… It’s horrible right now, but, I don’t know if I can bring myself to talk to him, much less forgive him.”
“He’s hurting too,” Kitsune replied softly.
“Good,” Naru answered automatically. She then sighed and closed her eyes. “Don’t say anything Kitsune, I know that was cold. But part of me wants to work things through, and part of me wants to feed him to piranhas.”
“So what are you gonna go with?”
Naru gave Kitsune a paper thin smile. “We don’t have any piranhas…”
‘It’s a start,’ Kitsune told herself. “When?”
“No idea,” confessed Naru. “This isn’t something I can rush into…”
“I wouldn’t wait too long,” warned Kitsune.
“When’s ‘too long’?”
Kitsune gave a thin smile of her own. “You never know until it passes.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
“I know. But make an effort, okay?”
“I’ll try…”
Realizing that this was the best she was going to get, Kitsune excused herself. When she reached the door, she glanced back and saw Naru deep in contemplation. ‘Don’t think about it too long Naru,’ she cautioned silently. ‘Who knows what’s going to happen next?”
XXX
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
Keitaro opened his eyes, unsure if he’d imagined what he thought he’d heard.
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
‘I heard that,’ he realized. He stared at the door in wonderment. He hadn’t had a visitor since… since. That had been nearly six weeks ago.
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
The knocking was a little more forceful this time, and it seemed that whoever it was, they were getting impatient. ‘Answer it dumb-ass,’ he told himself. Keitaro got up off the futon and padded to his door, trying to suppress the butterflies as he faced the prospect of someone wanting to talk to him. He opened the door and found himself face to face with-
“K-Kitsune?”
“Yes, that’s me…” She couldn’t help but notice his slightly crestfallen look.
“What do you need?” Keitaro asked, all business again.
“To talk. Can I come in?”
Keitaro blinked at that. He took a moment to take a discrete look down the hall before gesturing for her to come in.
“You used to be more of a gentleman,” Kitsune teased wryly. “All this time alone has ruined your manners.”
Keitaro felt a frown come over his features. “What’s this about?” he asked tersely.
Seeing just how unamused he was with teasing at the moment, Kitsune decided to cut to the chase. “I just want to talk to you that’s all.”
“Really… Why?”
“Why do you think?”
“You really want me to answer that?”
‘I’m doing this for everyone.’ Kitsune told herself that a few times as she tried to maintain her composure. If she lost her temper, it would only make things worse. Since Naru still hadn’t gotten around to talking with Keitaro, it was on her shoulders now. “Look… Let’s start over. No one’s really talked to you about this, and I want to hear your side of it.”
“Why today?”
“Because everyone else is out,” Kitsune replied honestly.
“I appreciate your honesty,” Keitaro answered. “But if you want to hear my side, talk to Haruka.”
“You talked with her?” When Keitaro nodded, Kitsune asked, “Why?”
“Lack of alternatives. It was already out, and I had to talk with someone, even if it was only once.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather hear it from you. What happened while you were gone that night?”
Keitaro was mentally debating whether or not to discuss it with Kitsune, but since she’d asked… “I’ll tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it,” he warned.
“I haven’t liked what I’ve heard so far.”
“Then why-”
“I want to hear everything before I form my opinion.”
“Fair enough.” Keitaro then proceeded to detail all that had happened from the moment he walked out to the moment he returned. His narrative was exhaustive, but it seemed to Kitsune that he was painting himself in the worst possible light. She was expecting some self-depreciation, but the amount of self-loathing he manifested was staggering to her.
“Is that really what happened?” Kitsune asked when he’d finished.
“Yeah…”
“I’m not sure I believe you…”
“Why?”
Instead of answering, Kitsune stood up and walked over to Keitaro, and without warning grabbed him by the wrists.
“Hey! What are you-”
Ignoring his protests, Kitsune twisted his arms so that they were behind his back. Keitaro struggled for a little, but gave up when it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to escape her clutches.
“Lemme go!”
“Make me…”
“I-I can’t!”
“You can’t?”
“No!”
Kitsune let go of his wrists. “And Naru and Motoko say you forced yourself on Tsuruko…” She shook her head in amazement. “What are they thinking?” she murmured softly.
“There, there was alcohol involved,” Keitaro reminded her.
“I don’t think you could have forced her, even if she was drunk,” Kitsune scoffed. “Why are you taking all the blame?”
“It-it’s my fault…”
“Only partially. Yeah, you should have known better, but unless it was with your right hand, someone else has to be there,” Kitsune pointed out. “Why are you taking all the blame?”
Keitaro sat back down and stared at the floor. “Don’t I always?” he asked with an air of resignation. “I’d be blamed anyway, and it’s not like I’m innocent in this. It’s more my fault than Tsuruko’s, and I’d rather people think I was a bastard than blame her.”
“You should still stand up for yourself…”
“No. I deserve to take responsibility for this, I won’t try to blame anyone else for what happened.”
Kitsune just looked at Keitaro, trying to wrap her head around all that he’d said. ‘Taking responsibility when you don’t have to? You’re a more complex guy than I thought.’ Trying to move the conversation to something that she’d have a better time understanding, Kitsune asked the question that everyone in the residence had thought about at least once. “Why did you do it?”
Keitaro sighed. He wasn’t surprised by the question, only that it had taken Kitsune so long to ask it. “I-I’m still not really sure,” he admitted. “But when it happened, at that moment, under those circumstances, I-I didn’t want it to end.” He looked up at Kitsune. “This sounds pathetic, but it was nice to be wanted. That night, it was like a drowning man being thrown a life preserver. I just held on and wouldn’t let go…”
Kitsune digested his words for a few minutes, and the silence in the room was deafening. Finally, she gave her response. “You screwed up Keitaro, sleeping with a married woman like that.”
“I know…”
“But, I don’t think you deserve what you’ve been going through either. Not everything anyway. It was as much Tsuruko’s fault as yours, even if you won’t accept it.”
“So what now?”
“I should be asking you that. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, stay here I guess.”
“You think you can stay sane here? I know not everyone is against you, but still...” Kitsune gestured to the empty food tray by the side of the door. There was no need to ask Keitaro who had brought it.
“We’ll see…”
Kitsune stood up to leave; there was nothing else she could do. At the door, she looked back at Keitaro and said, “Try to take care of yourself Keitaro. I don’t think it’s going to get easier.”
“Thanks Kitsune…”
“You’re welcome.” With that, she walked out and closed the door behind her.
Back inside, Keitaro continued to brood at the table, feeling a little bit better after his talk with Kitsune. But he was still a long way from being normal, and he was under no illusions of being able to clear things up with Naru and Motoko as easily. ‘How do I keep sane here?’ he wondered. ‘What choice do I have? It’s not like I can go anywhere…’
Keitaro remained motionless for some time, feeling sorry for himself, when an idea subtlety entered his thoughts. He jerked up in surprise when it became clear to him, and he started thinking about it. He weighed out some of its advantages and disadvantages for over two hours, so absorbed in his thoughts that he completely missed the sounds of the residents returning.
‘Could it work?’ he asked himself. ‘Perhaps… It might make things easier for everyone…’ He still hadn’t come to a final decision, but there was something he could do in the interim. Keitaro reached for the phone and dialed the operator. “Hello? Directory assistance?”
XXX
“You’re serious,” stated Haruka. The only crack in her impassive façade was a raised eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“You’ve thought about this?”
“Yes.
“But what about-”
“I’ve taken care of that Aunt Haruka.”
Haruka’s eyes narrowed at the term ‘aunt.’
“…sorry Haruka. I don’t like it either, but I think it’s all I can do…”
Haruka mulled over what Keitaro had told her. “You may be right. Doesn’t mean I like it, but you may be right.”
“Thank you…”
“Don’t thank me for this.”
“I understand.”
“When?”
“As soon as possible.”
Haruka frowned at that. “Can I get a guess?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know. When I know, you’ll know.”
Haruka took a drag on her cigarette, blowing the smoke out of her nose. “So it’s come to this…”
“Yeah…”
Haruka simply picked up her newspaper and resumed reading, giving Keitaro his cue to leave.
“Later.” Keitaro walked out of the Café Hinata and headed back up the stairs to the residence. “It’s for the best really,” he told himself. “Just a matter of time…”
XXX
A little over a week later, the telephone rang. Motoko, being the closest, answered it. “Hello, Hinata House…” A scowl came over her face as she heard the person on the line inquire about the availability of the party she wished to speak with. “Unfortunately, he’s here. One moment please. Bastard, it’s for you.” This was the first time she’d spoken to him in over a month.
Keitaro came into the room and took the phone, trying to ignore the withering glare Motoko gave him. “Yes? …Don’t worry about that…yes, I did…yes, it was…certainly…how about now?…you decide…I know where that is…an hour? Perfect…See you then.” Without another word, Keitaro hung up the phone.
Motoko, curious in spite of herself, had overheard Keitaro’s half of the conversation. She was intrigued enough to ask him about it, even as she kept up a contemptuous front. “Another housewife?” The satisfaction she received from seeing him flinch wasn’t as pronounced as it once was.
“No. But it was personal,” Keitaro replied. He then turned his back on Motoko and walked to his room, killing time by making sure the preparations that he’d made in anticipation were complete. They were, and it had taken less time than he’d expected.
After thirty interminable minutes of waiting, Keitaro exited his room and headed for the front door, no one paying attention to his departure, save Motoko, who felt that his actions were unusual, especially in light of the call. However, she didn’t feel a need to ask him where he was going or to follow him.
Keitaro walked briskly, more to burn off nervous energy than to hasten his arrival. When he arrived at the coffee shop, he grimaced at yet another reminder, but he forced himself to smile for the young woman who was waiting for him outside of it. “Reika Takayashi?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s me. Are you Keitaro Urashima?”
“Yes.”
The girl smiled brightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My friends thought that the ad must have been a joke…”
“It wasn’t. Let’s go inside and talk.”
The two went inside and were seated, both of them ordering tea. While waiting for their orders, Keitaro took a look at the person seated across from him. Reika was about nineteen or twenty years old, with blonde hair cut into a pageboy, and brilliant emerald green eyes. She was extremely cute, at the very threshold of being gorgeous. Once the tea was served, Keitaro broke the ice. “You’re interested in the position, correct?”
“Of course. Why’s it available?”
A pained look came over Keitaro’s features. “You heard what happened over the phone, right?”
“Yes…”
“That’s why. I can‘t deal with things anymore, everyone’s hurting, and change is the best way to end it.”
“What happened?”
“I slept with the married older sister of a resident,” Keitaro stated frankly. “She didn’t take that very well, and neither did most of the others.”
“I see…”
“This won’t be easy,“ Keitaro warned the woman. “Are you willing to deal with being an outsider?”
“Yes.”
“Strange occurrences, unusual behavior, and things that may make you question your sanity?”
“Like what?”
“You’ll see,” Keitaro replied cryptically. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Why are you so eager to do this?”
Reika blushed. “It’s always been a dream of mine.”
‘To each their own,’ Keitaro thought. “You’re absolutely sure? Once you’re in it’s hard to get out. You’ll have to sign on for at least a year.”
“I’m ready,” Reika emphasized.
‘Hope you’re right.’ “When could you start?”
“How soon will you be ready?”
“Today?”
“I can be ready in an hour.”
“So can I. Do you know where it is?”
“Yes.”
“Then be there in ninety minutes.”
“Just like that?” Reika asked. “Isn’t this a bit rushed?”
“I’m looking for someone to start immediately. Can you?”
“Yes, but…”
“But…” Keitaro prompted.
Reika shook her head. “Never mind, I’ll be there.”
“See you later then.” Keitaro bid his farewell and walked out of the shop. During the walk back to Hinata House, he contemplated what was likely to happen shortly. ‘I don’t really want to do this, but it’s for the greater good,’ he reminded himself. ‘Never thought it would come to this…’
Keitaro reached the residence and retreated to the sanctuary of his room, giving Haruka the quick ‘heads-up’ call that he’d promised. She didn’t sound too thrilled about it, and he could almost hear her disapproving look over the phone.
He then gave his room a thorough going over to ensure that he hadn’t missed anything. When that was finished, he paced around nervously, the prospect of what he was planning becoming more daunting in his mind. The ninety minutes crawled by, an eternity, with six months tacked on for good measure. Finally, he saw Reika walking towards the front door through his window.
‘It’s time…’
Keitaro made his way to the front door, timing his trip so he arrived at the exact moment the doorbell rang. He opened the door and found Reika standing there, an excited look on her face, and a backpack slung over her shoulder. “Is that all you need?” he asked in curiosity.
“Just for the first week, I’ll have the rest delivered later,” she replied.
Keitaro nodded at that and gestured for her to follow him. ‘Let’s do this,’ he thought without enthusiasm. He led Reika into the kitchen where the residents were eating. Everyone ceased dining and looked over at him, his presence in the kitchen being a bigger surprise than the short blonde standing behind him.
“Good evening all of you, I’ll make this short. This is Reika Takayashi…”
“You sleep with her too?” interrupted Naru. “When’s her husband going to show up?”
“No, nothing like that. Effective immediately, she’ll be taking over my duties at Hinata House.”
Keitaro’s casual announcement hung in the air like smoke, causing more than one resident to drop their chopsticks in shock. “Would-would you mind repeating that?” Kitsune asked hesitantly.
“She’s taking over my job,” Keitaro repeated. “I’m leaving. It-it’s too hard for everyone if I stay here.” He turned to Reika and gave her the book that held the profiles of all of the residents, with some of the notes he’d added. “They’re yours now. Please take care of them for me.” Keitaro turned his gaze back to the stunned residents. “I-I have enjoyed my time with you all, but with all that’s happened, I feel it would be better if I were to leave. For everyone I’ve hurt, I’m sorry.” Keitaro then bowed formally and turned to walk away.
“Sempai! Wait, you, you can’t leave…” cried Shinobu.
“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to be the owner and landlord here?” added Kitsune.
“I still am. Reika is the new caretaker.” Keitaro took in a shuddering breath. “Good-goodbye all of you. I’m sorry I’ve caused you all so much trouble.” He then walked out, leaving the residents and the new caretaker in the kitchen to try to come to terms with each other.
Fighting off tears, Keitaro made his way to his room for the last time, retrieving his belongings, all of which fit into a backpack and a small duffel bag. ‘Not much to show for all this time, is it?’ He focused on other thoughts to keep himself from dwelling on how much his heart was breaking. He was leaving the only real home he’d ever known, people he’d come to care for deeply, all because he’d made one terrible mistake.
Setting his jaw and blinking away the tears that were threatening to burst forth, Keitaro took a last look at his room and walked out, shouldering his bags and his burden, the figurative load much heavier than the literal one. He trudged his way to the front door, the sounds of absolute pandemonium coming from the kitchen, accusations and denials flying like snow in a blizzard. ‘Welcome to Hinata House Reika,’ he thought with some sympathy. He was both upset and relieved that no one had followed him so far.
He walked down the path towards the steps, not wanting to turn around and give the residence a last look, afraid it would destroy the last of his resolve. ‘Besides, I can remember every single detail,’ he assured himself. Halfway down the stairs he found Haruka waiting for him, her usual cigarette hanging from her lips, her stoic mask intact, betrayed only by a hint of sadness in her eyes. “So you found your replacement.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah…”
“You sure about this?”
“No, but, I don’t know what else to do. I know I’m running away, but I’m hurting everyone by staying.”
“Why couldn’t you have warned them?”
“Would have hurt even more. This way’s quicker.”
Haruka sighed and tossed away her cigarette. “Where will you go?” Her practical nature came to the forefront.
“I’ll manage,” he replied. A faint smile reached his lips, if not his eyes. “I’ll use the rent money to find a place of my own. I’m an absentee landlord now.”
Haruka was tempted to try and convince Keitaro to stay, but she figured that his mind was made up. This wasn’t some spur of the moment decision, he’d thought long and hard about this. She remembered how shocked she’d been when he’d told her of his decision. She figured that the residents were going through that in spades.
There was much she wanted to say, but she felt that only one thing really mattered now. “You take care of yourself Keitaro. And let me know how you’re doing.” On impulse, she walked over and embraced him, a gesture he tentatively returned.
“Thank you,” Keitaro whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Separating himself from his aunt, Keitaro continued down the steps, never once looking back.
Haruka watched him leave until he disappeared from view. She then lit a new cigarette and slowly started walking towards the residence. ‘Time to meet the new caretaker,’ she thought idly. ‘I hope she’s up to the challenge…’
XXX
Keitaro walked in a daze, still having trouble reconciling with the fact that he’d actually left Hinata House. He left only enough of his mind operating to ensure that he could walk swiftly and that he wouldn’t walk to any of his usual haunts by mistake. Avoiding Tokyo University was a priority to him, as that was were Naru had tracked him down the time he’d attempted to leave over the holidays. ‘Maybe it won’t matter,’ he pondered numbly. ‘I doubt that anyone will try to catch me this time…’
Keitaro wiped at his eyes harshly, determined to not let the tears come, at least not while he was in public. Leaving Hinata House had been even more painful than he’d anticipated. Of its own accord, his mind was replaying past experiences at Hinata house, the more pleasant times certainly, but more prominently the nightmarish months since Toshio had taken his revenge.
He shook his head to try and clear it, and picked up the pace of his walk, trying to find something to think about that didn’t make it harder to keep from crying. His conscience wasn’t letting him off the hook however, so he resigned himself to being assaulted by his memories. Keitaro did slow his pace a little when he belatedly realized what he must look like, nearly running through the streets, with an expression testament to barely maintained self-control.
‘I need a quiet spot,’ Keitaro decided. He turned more attention to his walk, grateful to have something else to focus on. In the distance it looked like there might be a park, and while that wouldn’t be as deserted as he’d like, it was better than these crowded streets. He headed for the solitude, drawn like a moth to a porch light, anxious to find someplace he could rest and attempt to deal with his tortured thoughts.
Reaching the park, Keitaro headed for the first empty bench he could find, tossed his bags on the ground underneath it, sat down and buried his face in his hands. He took several deep, shuddering breaths as he used all of his willpower to keep up a façade of normalcy. From some of the whispered comments he overheard from passersby, it probably wasn’t working, but at this point, he didn’t really care. In this park at least, Keitaro was anonymous, just some strange guy who apparently had a lot on his mind.
‘It’s over…I-I can’t go home again…’ Keitaro was not referring to his mother and father. ‘Where do I go now? A hotel?’ For all his preparations before leaving Hinata house, Keitaro hadn’t given that much thought to what he’d do after he left. He figured that he’d decide what to do when the time came. ‘Well, the time’s come and gone, and I still don’t know what to do.’
At the first few drops of rain, Keitaro looked up and found further validation that he must have been an evil bastard in a previous life. Dark clouds had rolled in, and it looked like he’d get soaked if he didn’t find shelter. But even as the rain began in earnest, he felt no great urge to leave. The rain matched his mood perfectly, and it was clearing the park of other people. If he stayed, he’d get the solitude he craved. ‘Besides,’ he added somberly, ‘rain will hide tears…’
Keitaro felt burning around his eyes and realized that he’d already started crying. He let them flow, feeling the warm trails down his cheeks get washed away by the cold rain water. He still made an effort to keep his crying under control; silent tears in the rain were acceptable to him, bawling his eyes out wasn’t.
Keitaro lost track of time as he sat in the rain, his clothing slowly becoming waterlogged. His jacket was better suited for rain, but he wasn’t moving, making him an easy target. ‘I really should get out of the rain,’ he decided, but he felt no great compulsion to move. It was though he’d just given up, and decided to stay on that bench until he died. ‘This is pathetic.’ He snorted disdainfully. ‘I’M pathetic, but I just don’t want to have to face anyone anymore and…and…hey, why don’t I feel rain anymore?’ Belatedly, Keitaro realized that he could still feel the warm trails of his tears on his cheeks.
Keitaro cast his eyes upward and noticed that he was under an umbrella. He let out a breath and cursed silently. Unless he’d somehow mastered using the Force, he wasn’t holding that umbrella over him, which left only one other possibility. ‘They tell me they want nothing to do with me, but they chase me every time I leave! How’d they find me anyway? One of Su’s inventions? Or did they lo-jack me one night while I slept?’
Keitaro gathered his resolve; this wasn’t going to be easy. ‘I can’t look at her, it’ll only make it harder if I see her face…’ Taking a deep breath to marshal his courage and rubbing his hand over his face to clear away any tears, Keitaro said, “I can’t go back Naru, not the way things are now…” Keitaro heard a faint intake of breath and continued. “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Me leaving is the best for everyone…”
“Is it really that bad?” a quiet voice replied.
Keitaro opened his eyes in surprise. ‘That-that wasn’t Naru… It-it almost sounded like…’ He slowly craned his head around and discovered, “Tsu-Tsuruko…”
“Hello Urashima,” she answered softly.
Calling Keitaro surprised would have been a grave understatement. “What the hell are you doing here?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “I mean, what, why… how did you?” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence.
“I heard you left home,” Tsuruko stated, ignoring his incoherent sputtering. “Is that true?”
Keitaro slowly nodded. “How, how did you…?”
“Motoko called me,” Tsuruko replied, holding up a cell phone, and successfully guessing what Keitaro was attempting to ask.
“I left about an hour ago, how’d you get here so fast?” he demanded, incredulous that he was talking to her. “Does the Shinmei School teach teleportation?” Considering things that he’d seen Tsuruko do, it seemed the most likely explanation to Keitaro’s frazzled mind.
Tsuruko shook her head slowly. “I was actually in the area.”
“Why…?”
Tsuruko handed Keitaro the umbrella, which he accepted without really thinking about it. She slowly walked around to the front of the bench and gestured towards it, silently asking for Keitaro’s permission to sit.
“Go-go ahead,” he replied, unsure of himself. “It’s wet though, you might wanna be careful…”
Tsuruko sat down and said nothing for some time, the rain beating relentlessly against her hat. She stared out at the rain, seemingly lost in thought. Keitaro watched her profile, noticing with a considerable sense of shame that Tsuruko seemed to be in greater pain than the last time they’d met.
All of the times Keitaro had seen Tsuruko, she’d always had a cheerful way about her, even when she thoroughly trounced Motoko in the Hinata House outdoor bath. But now, the way she moved was different somehow, as if she was weighed down by some burden. Not only was there no humor in her eyes, they looked as if they’d become incapable of expressing that emotion. Her frown was also unsettling, as a smile had always appeared to be the default expression on her face. Disregarding the time they’d tried to deceive her, Keitaro had only seen Tsuruko frown the night of their indiscretion, and the following morning.
After a few minutes of no sound other than the rain, Tsuruko answered Keitaro’s question. “I-I was thinking of visiting you…”
Keitaro’s jaw dropped in utter shock. “Wha-wha-wha,” he babbled like a moron, his mind unprepared for such a response. He violently shook his head and mentally slapped himself, attempting to re-boot his frozen thought processes. “Why? Are-are you crazy?” Keitaro was too confused to have very much tact.
“I knew what Toshio had done, I heard it from Motoko,” Tsuruko replied. “I had to make her swear not to harm you.”
“Why’d you do that? I think I would have deserved it…”
“No, you didn’t, not after what I did…”
“What YOU did?” Keitaro squawked. “It was my fault for not putting up more of a fight!”
Tsuruko put up her hand, effectively killing the argument before it could really take off. “Regardless of how it happened, you didn’t deserve what my sister was planning. But it sounds like it wasn’t any easier for you regardless.”
“Yeah…”
“What was it like?”
Keiatro leaned back and let out a breath. “After Toshio told everyone what happened, the others didn’t take it very well.” A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. ‘There’s the understatement of the century…’
“I told Toshio not to hurt you…”
Keitaro shook his head. “I don’t really blame him. If I hurt him as bad as I think, I’d say I deserved what I got.”
Tsuruko pursed her lips, but didn’t reply.
“How-how have you been?” Keitaro asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“Troubled,” Tsuruko replied glibly.
‘I can imagine,’ Keitaro silently sympathized. “How did Toshio react?”
“Shocked, and angered…”
“Yeah, Naru and your sister were about the same. Mostly angered though…”
For the next few minutes there was only the sound of the rain, as the two emotionally damaged people kept their thoughts to themselves. “What are you going to do?” Tsuruko asked when the silence grew too uncomfortable for her.
“Don’t know,” Keitaro confessed. “I’ll figure something out,” he reassured her.
“Then why don’t you come stay with me in Kyoto?”
If Keitaro had been drinking, he would have spat it a couple of yards. Had he been eating, he would have started choking. All that he did however, was snap his head around so quickly his neck cracked. “WHAT?”
“Come stay with me,” Tsuruko repeated calmly.
Keitaro stared slack-jawed, not believing what he’d heard. In his confused state he gave a dry response that would have impressed Haruka. “I don’t think Toshio would appreciate that…”
“Toshio isn’t there,” answered Tsuruko.
Keitaro’s head swam. ‘Oh no…’ “You-you-the two of you…you’re…you’re…” He couldn’t give voice to his fear.
“We haven’t divorced,” replied Tsuruko, which made Keitaro almost collapse with relief. “Toshio said he wanted to try and face his demons,” she continued. “He figured it was best if he went elsewhere to do that.”
“I see… But why the hell are you inviting me to stay with you?”
“I-I’m part of the reason you had to leave Hinata House. This is my way of trying to help you…”
“No. No. Bad idea. Thanks, but no.”
“Keitaro…”
“Us sleeping together was bad. Me moving in… that is SO wrong…”
“Please. I’m trying to help you…”
“How does that help? Except give everyone more reason to kill me?”
“I’ve caused you so much pain. I-I’m honor bound to try and help you get through this…”
Keitaro couldn’t believe the surreality of this moment. The woman whose marriage he’d probably destroyed was offering to take him in. “I don’t think that’s going to help…”
“Please Keitaro,” insisted Tsuruko. “You were there for me when I needed someone, and you tried to help me afterwards. Can’t you accept my offer for what it is? A chance to help you?”
‘This is nuts, me moving in with her? No way, I’d have to be crazy, maybe even suicidal to do that.’ With these thoughts going through his head, Keitaro was startled when he heard someone say, “Alright.” He belatedly realized that it had been his own voice. ‘I gotta be nuts.’
“But with some conditions,” he added after the fact to salve his survival instincts.
“Such as?”
“First of all, I’m staying in a guest room that’s as remote as possible.”
“Of course. I wasn’t planning on having you in my bedroom,” Tsuruko replied, a hint of rebuke in her voice.
‘Thank God,’ Keitaro thought. “Secondly, I pull my own weight; rent, food, helping out around the house, that type of thing.”
“That’s perfectly acceptable,” Tsuruko answered with a nod.
“Please don’t tell anyone I’m there.”
“Obviously.”
“Finally, and most importantly, if, no, WHEN Toshio comes back, I’m gone, period.”
“Why are you so sure he’ll come back?”
“He’s married to you. Only a fool would stay away…” ‘What the hell was that? Don’t even THINK of flirting with her, you idiot. This is difficult enough already.’ Absorbed in his own thoughts, Keitaro didn’t notice Tsuruko’s eyes widening at that comment.
“I agree,” replied Tsuruko. “But I have a condition of my own.”
“What is it?”
Tsuruko let out a breath. “Be sociable.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Be sociable. I’m not saying we have to be joined at the hip, but I’d like to talk to you from time to time. You won’t just be a boarder, you’ll be a guest in my home…”
It took a moment of silent contemplation for Keitaro to give an answer. “I accept.” ‘It’s not like I’ll be there very long anyway…’
“Then let’s go,” prompted Tsuruko, rising to her feet.
“Now?”
“Now. Unless you like sitting out in the rain…”
“It’s not so bad,” Keitaro replied, as he retrieved his bags from the ground.
“Not sure I agree with you,” Tsuruko replied with a ghost of a smile.
Keitaro merely shrugged, and fell into step with Tsuruko, as the two of them made their way to the train station in silence.
To Be Continued…
Author’s Notes:
Thanks to Random1377 for pre-reading, and giving me the name ‘Reika Takayashi.’ In his defense, he didn’t know what I needed it for, so don’t blame him.
Random read this and allowed it to pass when he was satisfied with it. He then berated me on its lack of Lemon content, and then made a few helpful suggestions.
Space constraints, and concerns about traumatizing you readers, prevent me from listing all of them, but they included a nun’s outfit, leather sheets, and a paint roller…
C+C is welcome at hawker_748@hotmail.com.
This story idea was inspired by SimmyC, who graciously allowed me to pick up the ball and run with it.
Thanks Man!
“X” Spoken words
‘X’ Thoughts
Manga continuity, after the “Burn-Up Blade” story line
Love Hina:
Ships in the Night
Chapter Four: Clearing Datum
Keitaro slowly completed the transition from slumber to wakefulness; nothing had caused him to stir, his body just decided that it was time to get up. He opened his eyes, blinking to clear away the early morning fog and sand, and looked at his clock. 8:38. Fortunately, it was a Saturday, and there had been no pressing need for him to wake up early. ‘Well, it’s not like the others would be in a hurry to deal with me anyway…’
Just over three weeks had passed since Valentine’s Day. While he didn’t think of it as the ‘St. Valentine’s Day Massacre’, he’d read about that in his American history textbook, it had caused his loathing of the day to return with a vengeance. On that day, Toshio Aoyama had calmly, but effectively, thrown Keitaro’s happy existence into a blast furnace. Keitaro didn’t begrudge him his revenge though, as he’d done it to him first, the night he’d slept with Tsuruko.
It had been a lonely three weeks; he’d hardly talked to anyone since that day, and the residents were actively avoiding him, an action he reciprocated. The few times he did encounter a resident, he was unable to meet their gaze, and he kept his eyes downward. Naru and Motoko were the only ones openly hostile to him, shooting him icy stares and growling threats, while the others were merely distant.
Shinobu seemed to be the only exception; she hadn’t talked to him, but on a few occasions, she had secretly placed a tray of food in his room, giving him a brief respite from the diet of cup ramen he had been living on. He hadn’t been able to thank her properly, but he had nodded gratefully the one time he’d been in the same room as her without someone scrutinizing him.
The experience reminded Keitaro of the time just after he’d become the landlord; the residents had made a concerted effort to drive him off by working him to death and giving him nothing but cold shoulder. This time, Keitaro was the one who kept finding tasks to do, as the activity made time go faster and gave him something to focus on besides how miserable he was feeling. He’d even gone as far as to place a box outside his room for the residents to place maintenance requests so he’d have more things to do, and so that the residents wouldn’t have to talk to him.
Not having anything pressing at the moment, and certain that the others were in no rush to see him, Keitaro rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were automatically drawn to the hole in the ceiling. Or rather, they were drawn to where the hole in the ceiling had once been. The first task he’d found in his ‘job box’ was a note from Naru requesting, ‘No, make that demanding,’ he amended, that he fix the floor in her room immediately.
Keitaro had been expecting this, but expecting it hadn’t made it any easier. Naru was effectively locking him out, putting as many barriers as she could between the two of them, both physical and psychological. He’d closed his eyes and crumpled the paper, knowing that he had nothing to say to defend himself. He continued to blame himself, even if Tsuruko apparently didn’t. ‘I’m guilty enough for the both of us,’ he thought grimly. He’d picked up his toolkit and headed up the stairs, trudging slowly to Naru’s room. “It’s me Naru, I’m here to fix the floor,” he called out when he knocked on the door. These had been the first words he’d spoken to her since Valentine’s Day.
Without a word, the door opened and Naru gestured for him to come in with a quick jerk of her head. Keitaro slowly walked in, not surprised by Naru’s actions. He was a little surprised to find Motoko waiting inside Naru’s room as well. He was about to greet her out of habit, but the look of disgust and utter contempt she was giving him killed any thought of conversation.
Sighing to himself, Keitaro lifted up Naru’s Liddo-kun doll, removed the plywood cover, and set about finally repairing the floor. As he started hammering out the broken boards, he felt himself thinking back to all that had occurred because of this hole. The times he’d accidentally peeped Naru, the one time she’d peeped him, although she’d still belted HIM for that. The times she’d just dropped in to say ‘hi.’ This hole held a lot of memories, some pleasant, some not so pleasant, and Keitaro finally realized just how significant it was to be sealing it.
He came out of his brief reverie and noticed that Naru and Motoko were watching him closely. In spite of all the tension between them, Keitaro couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Why-why are you both here?” The attention was making him uncomfortable.
“The last time you tried to fix this, you ended up reading my diary,” Naru answered coldly. “After what you did with Tsuruko, who knows what you’d try.”
Keitaro bit back the retort that had sprung to his lips. She was right. He’d snooped the last time he’d tried fixing the floor. He’d only been curious about what she’d thought of him, but he should have known better. Besides, he didn’t think that either Naru or Motoko were willing to accept any insolence from him, no matter how worthy it might have been. He simply resumed hammering out the rotten boards, hitting them with a little more force than necessary.
Once the boards were removed, Keitaro used a flashlight to examine the floor joists, ensuring that they were structurally sound before he began to install the new floorboards. There were no sounds other than the hammering of wood and Keitaro’s breathing. Finally after about thirty minutes the job was done. Keitaro carefully placed his weight on the floor to test his work, and when he was satisfied that it would hold, he gathered up his tools and started to walk out of the room.
“One moment bastard…”
‘Motoko…’ thought Keitaro resignedly. ‘Now what have I done? Other than continue to breathe, I mean?’ “Yes…?” Later, Keitaro would wonder when he’d accepted the idea of responding to the insult as if it was actually his name.
“The light in my room needs changing. Get me a bulb so I can change it.”
“Don’t worry, I can do it-”
“You’re not coming into MY room.”
Another sigh. “Fine… Follow me, and I’ll get it for you.” He turned and walked out, not really caring if Motoko followed him or not. He idly noticed that she fell into step behind him.
“I cannot believe my sister would defend you,” Motoko commented as they made their way downstairs. “The very idea that she would seek you company… She must have been disturbed by what you did.”
Keitaro didn’t reply to Motoko’s venom, he simply withstood it. The idea of defending his actions never occurred to him; he was willing to accept all of the blame as a sort of penance. Besides, the notion of trying to shift some of the responsibility to Tsuruko would have felt like blaming the victim to him. There was also no telling how Motoko would react to him giving his side of the story. She’d promised Tsuruko not to harm him, but if he upset her…
“Aren’t you going to give me an excuse?”
Motoko’s question interrupted his ponderings. “No.”
“Why not?”
‘Because it’s my fault. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t want to ruin your image of your sister,’ Keitaro thought. “Would it make a difference?” he asked.
“No.”
“There you go…” Keitaro walked to a storage closet, opened it and pulled out a light bulb and handed it to Motoko. “Bulbs are kept here. If you need one, take one.” He then turned around and walked back to his room, its lonely isolation preferable to the hostility he experienced dealing with the residents.
Finishing his recollection, Keitaro closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. He’d continued to sequester himself away in his room unless absolutely necessary. ‘Yeah, hiding away isn’t the best way to deal with this,’ he reasoned, ‘but damned if I can think of anything else…’
He got up out of his futon, stretching and hearing his back pop and snap. The aroma of breakfast wafted into his nose, causing his mouth to water like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Keitaro thought longingly of one of Shinobu’s breakfasts, as he regarded his stash of cup ramen with distaste. He’d bought some fruit to supplement his vitamin intake, but after becoming used to Shinobu’s cooking, going back to bachelor eats was itself a torment.
Since everyone else was eating, it would be safe for him to head to his bathroom and bathe. Gathering his bath supplies, Keitaro swiftly but carefully made his way to the little bathroom, looking around to ensure he didn’t unexpectedly run into a resident who was late for breakfast.
Once in the bathroom, he let out a relieved sigh and began his morning cleansing, idly wondering what he’d be doing today if nothing came up. ‘Go into town perhaps? Catch a movie?’ Keitaro had spent as much time as possible away from the residence, when he wasn’t secluded in his room, all the better to avoid interacting with the others. He rinsed himself off and slipped into the tub, letting the hot water relax him, as his thoughts returned to the previous three weeks. ‘It hasn’t been all bad,’ he mused silently. ‘The nightmares have stopped…’
Keitaro’s sleep was no longer haunted by fears of being discovered. ‘Why should it? I’ve already been found out.’ Keitaro slumped back into the tub, staring at the ceiling. ‘I still dream about Tsuruko though… Why hasn’t that stopped?’ No answers were forthcoming, not that he had expected them, so he continued his soak.
Twenty minutes later, clean, dry, and dressed, Keitaro made his way back to his room, checking his job box and discovering a new request:
‘There’s a fallen tree in the backyard. Deal with it.’
Keitaro blinked. ‘Fallen tree? Is this a joke?’ Curious, he made his way outside and walked to the back of the residence. ‘Well I‘ll be damned, there is a fallen tree… When did this happen?’ The tree had stood about twenty-five feet tall, before something had knocked it over, the wind, old age, or whatever. It had fallen into the clearing, and while it wasn’t a hazard, it was an eyesore. ‘We won’t be short on firewood for a while.’ Keitaro pursed his lips. While he’d hoped for something to do, this was little more than he’d bargained for. He could do it, but it wasn’t his best skill. Motoko could clear-cut an acre of redwood in a half hour, but this was going to take him all day.
Keitaro went back inside to change into some work clothes, and to retrieve a bow saw and an axe. Once outside, Keitaro took a moment to examine the tree; it had broken off at about three feet from the ground, and had detached cleanly. He first cut down the remnant of the trunk with the bow saw, leaving a stump about three inches high. Once this was done, he began breaking off or cutting off the branches on the main body of the tree. The novelty of the job wore off quickly when he realized that the task was going to be as difficult and tedious as he’d expected. The wood was hard to cut, and was full of sap, sticking to his hands and gumming up the saw.
‘This is gonna take forever… Well, I was hoping for something to do wasn’t I?’ Keitaro shook his head ruefully, learning once again to be careful what he wished for.
It took over two hours to deal with all the branches, cutting them up into small enough pieces to be burned. Any pieces that were small enough he broke by hand, in spite of the risk of splinters, because it allowed him to work off some of his frustration at the job at hand.
Through it all, the sun continued its eternal march across the sky, paying Keitaro no more attention than it did any other life form on the planet. Despite the slight chill in the air, Keitaro was sweating heavily, and as he finally turned his attention to the main trunk of the tree, with a sinking feeling he realized that the hard part hadn’t even begun.
Cutting the trunk into manageable sized pieces for splitting was an arduous, frustrating task, made even worse by the fact that Keitaro hadn’t thought to get a couple of saw horses to hold the trunk at a reasonable height. The wood was even more difficult to cut now, as if it realized what was happening to it and was putting up as much resistance as it could. The saw kept binding, the sap making the blade sticky, and there were times it took everything Keitaro had to get the damned thing loose. ‘If I have to do this again, I’m getting a damn chainsaw!’ he vowed.
At this thought, a random image of the residents panicked reaction to the sight of him with a chainsaw, thinking that he’d finally snapped, entered his mind. This struck him as so funny, he laughed out loud for a few minutes, the first real laugh he’d had in a while.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, getting sap over his face in the process, Keitaro picked the saw back up and went back to his work, thankful that he’d started sawing at the thick end, so it should get easier as he went along. Finally, after ninety minutes of backbreaking work, the trunk was sectioned. He looked over the fruits of his labor with some satisfaction, trying to avoid thinking about how difficult it was going to be to split some of those pieces. He spent another hour gathering up all of the pieces that were small enough to not need splitting and put them into the pile, his back and shoulders grateful for the change in activity, if not rest.
Once all of the pieces were gathered up, and he’d raked up as much of the sawdust as he could, Keitaro reluctantly regarded the leftover pieces of the sectioned trunk, sitting there like unwanted guests at a party. Knowing that staring at them wasn’t going to make them disappear, Keitaro went to the largest one, upended it, took the axe in his hands, raised it over his head, and swung it down as hard as he could.
THUNK!
The axe buried itself into the wood… exactly half an inch. Taken aback, Keitaro tried to pull the axe out, but the log lifted up with the axe head, stuck firm. He stared at it uncomprehendingly for a second, before he tried shaking it loose. Not happening. “Dammit!” he cursed, banging the log on the ground, trying unsuccessfully to knock it loose.
Some days it didn’t pay to get out of bed.
XXX
Unbeknownst to Keitaro, he was being watched while he worked. From the annex rooftop, a pair of olive green eyes dispassionately took in his actions. “What’s wrong bastard?” Motoko murmured softly. “Having trouble handling something that isn’t intoxicated?” Keitaro was having a hell of a time splitting the wood.
At this point, another part of her psyche, one that had become more outspoken and insistent over the past few weeks, made its presence known. ‘He isn’t that strong is he? So how did he overpower Tsuruko?’
Motoko’s eyes narrowed. ‘She-she was drunk! She couldn’t fight him off!’
‘Are we talking about the same Tsuruko?’ her psyche asked. ‘The Tsuruko who once defeated you when she was delirious with a fever of 103?’
‘That was different…’
‘Was it? Or maybe he DIDN’T force himself. She said he didn’t, why don’t you believe her?’
‘She-she couldn’t have, Tsuruko doesn’t make mistakes like that…’ These weren’t new thoughts for Motoko, but she was finding it harder to rebut them based on what she knew.
‘Maybe you just don’t want to admit that she’s only human,’ her mind casually suggested.
‘She isn’t!’ Motoko insisted. ‘She’s never made a mistake in her life, there’s no way she would have had anything to do with Urash- the bastard…’
‘You honestly believe he’d force himself on anyone, let alone Tsuruko?’
‘Yes!’ Motoko replied with some desperation. ‘She-she would never do anything to betray her husband, it isn’t honorable…’ Deep down, Motoko knew that her arguments were tenuous at best. But she’d spent her entire life looking up to Tsuruko. It was easier to demonize Keitaro than face the possibility that her sister actually possessed human flaws.
She continued to observe Keitaro as her internal debate raged. What had been easy to believe at first was now plagued by doubt and uncertainty. Perhaps her anger was misdirected, or even unwarranted, but it was easier to be angry than face an unwelcome truth. Her frown deepened as she found validation on one point. ‘However it happened, he shouldn’t have slept with Tsuruko…’
“He’s still at it?”
With a start, Motoko belatedly realized that Kitsune had joined her on the roof, unnoticed only because of the turmoil in her thought. “He can’t handle a blade. Doesn’t matter if it’s a sword or an axe, he can‘t figure it out.”
Kitsune hmmed noncommittally, as she watched Keitaro try unsuccessfully to split a smaller log. From this distance, she was barely able to hear him cursing violently as he struggled to free the axe from its wooden prison. “You’ve been keeping busy lately, haven’t you Keitaro,” she murmured under her breath. Kitsune then shifted her gaze to Motoko, looking at her closely before speaking. “You can’t really believe he forced himself on your sister, can you?”
Motoko blinked, surprised that Kitsune’s thoughts were so similar to her own. ‘Then again, I haven’t talked about much else when it comes to the bastard,’ she reasoned. “However it happened, he shouldn’t have done anything with Tsuruko.”
“Perhaps…” Kitsune admitted. “But if your sister wasn’t interested in him, I doubt he could have forced her.” She gestured with her head to where Keitaro was now standing on the log and desperately trying to yank out the axe.
“She was drunk…”
“I’VE never been that drunk Motoko,” replied Kitsune. “Even if she was, I’m sure she woulda kicked his ass.”
Despite the fact she’d been close to reaching the same conclusion, Motoko couldn’t bring herself to agree with Kitsune. “We don’t know that, I mean…”
Kitsune shook her head ruefully. Things had gone to hell three weeks ago, and no one seemed to be willing to try and climb out. “What did your sister say?”
Motoko’s jaw set, not liking the direction the conversation was taking. “She blames herself,” she reluctantly admitted.
“Why?”
“Because she’s probably ashamed!” Motoko snapped crossly. She knew it wasn’t that simple, but the alternative was too disconcerting to think about.
“So talk to Keitaro.”
“You think he’d be honest?”
“Yeah… I do.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” Motoko replied after nearly a minute of silence. “No matter how it happened, he slept with my sister. He had to know that was wrong.” She turned and walked away, effectively killing the conversation.
Kitsune grimaced. “Just like I figured,” she grumbled. “No one’s talked to anyone recently.” She took a thoughtful sip from her cup of sake, noticing that Keitaro had finally freed the axe. “It’s time to change that…”
XXX
A couple of days later, Naru was in her room going over her school work when she heard a familiar voice calling to her.
“Naru…”
“What is it Kitsune, I’m kinda busy and-” Naru looked up and broke off after getting a look at her friend’s face. She pursed her lips. “I know that look Kitsune, what are you doing?”
“Moi?” Kitsune asked innocently, gesturing to herself.
“Vous,” replied Naru, not buying the innocent act for a second.
“I just want to talk, that’s all…”
“About what?”
“…Keitaro…” the fox eyed girl replied quietly. She actually felt the room getting colder when Naru’s eyes narrowed in response.
“No.”
“Naru, I know you’re upset, but-”
“Upset? UPSET? I’m miles beyond upset…”
“I know, I know… But what if we’ve been wrong about him?” Kitsune deliberately used ‘we’ so as to not further antagonize her friend.
“He got Tsuruko drunk and slept with her. What are ‘WE’ getting wrong?”
Kitsune flinched at Naru’s rebuke. Taking a deep breath to regain her focus, she pressed on. “You really think Keitaro could have forced himself on TSURUKO of all people? You know, Motoko’s big sister, the one who handed Motoko her ass the first time she came here.”
“I don’t care if they were drunk or sober…”
“Huh?” Kitsune’s mental train jumped off its rails at Naru’s candid admission.
“I haven’t been mad at him because I thought he took advantage of Tsuruko,” Naru clarified. “Keitaro has his faults, but I don’t think he’d do something like that.” Naru thought back to what she’d seen of Tsuruko’s abilities in Kyoto. “Keitaro couldn’t have gotten the upper hand on her unless she was in a coma. Even then, it wouldn’t have been easy.”
“Then why the hell are you so hostile to him?” Kitsune demanded.
“Because he hurt me!” snarled Naru through tightly clenched teeth. Her nostrils were flared, and she had snapped the pencil she‘d been using in two. But after her outburst, she seemed to deflate. She let out a tremulous breath that almost sounded like a sob. Kitsune noticed that there seemed to be some new lines around her eyes, and in spite of her display of anger, she looked like she was exhausted.
“Hurt you…?” Kitsune asked tentatively.
“We were supposed to be together,” Naru replied softly, her tone subdued after her previous outburst. “We both cared for each other, but apparently I didn’t mean enough to him for him to be faithful.” Naru’s brow furrowed and Kitsune noticed that her jaw muscles were jumping. “Tsuruko spread her legs for him and he forgot all about me,” Naru finished bitterly.
Kitsune was taken aback at the smoldering hostility in Naru’s words. “I-I don’t think it was that simple…”
“You’re probably right,” allowed Naru. “But however it happened, Keitaro had sex with her. All the time we knew each other, worked together, tried to help each other, none of that mattered. Tsuruko threw herself at him and he didn’t say no.” Naru had none of her usual energy, sounding completely weary and beaten. “Why couldn’t he have waited for me?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
Naru didn’t reply for a few minutes, and when she did, her reply was unintelligible to Kitsune.
“What was that Naru?”
“I-I don’t know if I want to know…”
“Why?”
Naru gave her friend a pained look. “I haven’t treated Keitaro very well, have I?”
‘How do I answer that tactfully?’ Kitsune wondered. “Um… no?” She winced the second she heard her reply. ‘Smooth. Really smooth Kitsune,’ she admonished herself.
Naru slumped. “You’re right. I just drove him away…”
“It isn’t that easy, and you know it,” insisted Kitsune. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”
“It isn’t that easy, and you know it,” parroted Naru. “How do you talk about something like this? Where would I start? ‘Hey Keitaro, why’d you fuck Tsuruko?’” Naru shook her head in disgust.
“A little discretion wouldn’t kill you…”
“After what Keitaro did, you’re accusing ME of ‘indiscretion’?” Naru asked incredulously.
“No, I’m trying to work things out.”
Silence reigned in Naru’s room for a few minutes, before it was finally broken by Naru. “I know… It’s horrible right now, but, I don’t know if I can bring myself to talk to him, much less forgive him.”
“He’s hurting too,” Kitsune replied softly.
“Good,” Naru answered automatically. She then sighed and closed her eyes. “Don’t say anything Kitsune, I know that was cold. But part of me wants to work things through, and part of me wants to feed him to piranhas.”
“So what are you gonna go with?”
Naru gave Kitsune a paper thin smile. “We don’t have any piranhas…”
‘It’s a start,’ Kitsune told herself. “When?”
“No idea,” confessed Naru. “This isn’t something I can rush into…”
“I wouldn’t wait too long,” warned Kitsune.
“When’s ‘too long’?”
Kitsune gave a thin smile of her own. “You never know until it passes.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
“I know. But make an effort, okay?”
“I’ll try…”
Realizing that this was the best she was going to get, Kitsune excused herself. When she reached the door, she glanced back and saw Naru deep in contemplation. ‘Don’t think about it too long Naru,’ she cautioned silently. ‘Who knows what’s going to happen next?”
XXX
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
Keitaro opened his eyes, unsure if he’d imagined what he thought he’d heard.
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
‘I heard that,’ he realized. He stared at the door in wonderment. He hadn’t had a visitor since… since. That had been nearly six weeks ago.
-KNOCK-KNOCK-
The knocking was a little more forceful this time, and it seemed that whoever it was, they were getting impatient. ‘Answer it dumb-ass,’ he told himself. Keitaro got up off the futon and padded to his door, trying to suppress the butterflies as he faced the prospect of someone wanting to talk to him. He opened the door and found himself face to face with-
“K-Kitsune?”
“Yes, that’s me…” She couldn’t help but notice his slightly crestfallen look.
“What do you need?” Keitaro asked, all business again.
“To talk. Can I come in?”
Keitaro blinked at that. He took a moment to take a discrete look down the hall before gesturing for her to come in.
“You used to be more of a gentleman,” Kitsune teased wryly. “All this time alone has ruined your manners.”
Keitaro felt a frown come over his features. “What’s this about?” he asked tersely.
Seeing just how unamused he was with teasing at the moment, Kitsune decided to cut to the chase. “I just want to talk to you that’s all.”
“Really… Why?”
“Why do you think?”
“You really want me to answer that?”
‘I’m doing this for everyone.’ Kitsune told herself that a few times as she tried to maintain her composure. If she lost her temper, it would only make things worse. Since Naru still hadn’t gotten around to talking with Keitaro, it was on her shoulders now. “Look… Let’s start over. No one’s really talked to you about this, and I want to hear your side of it.”
“Why today?”
“Because everyone else is out,” Kitsune replied honestly.
“I appreciate your honesty,” Keitaro answered. “But if you want to hear my side, talk to Haruka.”
“You talked with her?” When Keitaro nodded, Kitsune asked, “Why?”
“Lack of alternatives. It was already out, and I had to talk with someone, even if it was only once.”
“Yeah, well, I’d rather hear it from you. What happened while you were gone that night?”
Keitaro was mentally debating whether or not to discuss it with Kitsune, but since she’d asked… “I’ll tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it,” he warned.
“I haven’t liked what I’ve heard so far.”
“Then why-”
“I want to hear everything before I form my opinion.”
“Fair enough.” Keitaro then proceeded to detail all that had happened from the moment he walked out to the moment he returned. His narrative was exhaustive, but it seemed to Kitsune that he was painting himself in the worst possible light. She was expecting some self-depreciation, but the amount of self-loathing he manifested was staggering to her.
“Is that really what happened?” Kitsune asked when he’d finished.
“Yeah…”
“I’m not sure I believe you…”
“Why?”
Instead of answering, Kitsune stood up and walked over to Keitaro, and without warning grabbed him by the wrists.
“Hey! What are you-”
Ignoring his protests, Kitsune twisted his arms so that they were behind his back. Keitaro struggled for a little, but gave up when it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to escape her clutches.
“Lemme go!”
“Make me…”
“I-I can’t!”
“You can’t?”
“No!”
Kitsune let go of his wrists. “And Naru and Motoko say you forced yourself on Tsuruko…” She shook her head in amazement. “What are they thinking?” she murmured softly.
“There, there was alcohol involved,” Keitaro reminded her.
“I don’t think you could have forced her, even if she was drunk,” Kitsune scoffed. “Why are you taking all the blame?”
“It-it’s my fault…”
“Only partially. Yeah, you should have known better, but unless it was with your right hand, someone else has to be there,” Kitsune pointed out. “Why are you taking all the blame?”
Keitaro sat back down and stared at the floor. “Don’t I always?” he asked with an air of resignation. “I’d be blamed anyway, and it’s not like I’m innocent in this. It’s more my fault than Tsuruko’s, and I’d rather people think I was a bastard than blame her.”
“You should still stand up for yourself…”
“No. I deserve to take responsibility for this, I won’t try to blame anyone else for what happened.”
Kitsune just looked at Keitaro, trying to wrap her head around all that he’d said. ‘Taking responsibility when you don’t have to? You’re a more complex guy than I thought.’ Trying to move the conversation to something that she’d have a better time understanding, Kitsune asked the question that everyone in the residence had thought about at least once. “Why did you do it?”
Keitaro sighed. He wasn’t surprised by the question, only that it had taken Kitsune so long to ask it. “I-I’m still not really sure,” he admitted. “But when it happened, at that moment, under those circumstances, I-I didn’t want it to end.” He looked up at Kitsune. “This sounds pathetic, but it was nice to be wanted. That night, it was like a drowning man being thrown a life preserver. I just held on and wouldn’t let go…”
Kitsune digested his words for a few minutes, and the silence in the room was deafening. Finally, she gave her response. “You screwed up Keitaro, sleeping with a married woman like that.”
“I know…”
“But, I don’t think you deserve what you’ve been going through either. Not everything anyway. It was as much Tsuruko’s fault as yours, even if you won’t accept it.”
“So what now?”
“I should be asking you that. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, stay here I guess.”
“You think you can stay sane here? I know not everyone is against you, but still...” Kitsune gestured to the empty food tray by the side of the door. There was no need to ask Keitaro who had brought it.
“We’ll see…”
Kitsune stood up to leave; there was nothing else she could do. At the door, she looked back at Keitaro and said, “Try to take care of yourself Keitaro. I don’t think it’s going to get easier.”
“Thanks Kitsune…”
“You’re welcome.” With that, she walked out and closed the door behind her.
Back inside, Keitaro continued to brood at the table, feeling a little bit better after his talk with Kitsune. But he was still a long way from being normal, and he was under no illusions of being able to clear things up with Naru and Motoko as easily. ‘How do I keep sane here?’ he wondered. ‘What choice do I have? It’s not like I can go anywhere…’
Keitaro remained motionless for some time, feeling sorry for himself, when an idea subtlety entered his thoughts. He jerked up in surprise when it became clear to him, and he started thinking about it. He weighed out some of its advantages and disadvantages for over two hours, so absorbed in his thoughts that he completely missed the sounds of the residents returning.
‘Could it work?’ he asked himself. ‘Perhaps… It might make things easier for everyone…’ He still hadn’t come to a final decision, but there was something he could do in the interim. Keitaro reached for the phone and dialed the operator. “Hello? Directory assistance?”
XXX
“You’re serious,” stated Haruka. The only crack in her impassive façade was a raised eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“You’ve thought about this?”
“Yes.
“But what about-”
“I’ve taken care of that Aunt Haruka.”
Haruka’s eyes narrowed at the term ‘aunt.’
“…sorry Haruka. I don’t like it either, but I think it’s all I can do…”
Haruka mulled over what Keitaro had told her. “You may be right. Doesn’t mean I like it, but you may be right.”
“Thank you…”
“Don’t thank me for this.”
“I understand.”
“When?”
“As soon as possible.”
Haruka frowned at that. “Can I get a guess?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know. When I know, you’ll know.”
Haruka took a drag on her cigarette, blowing the smoke out of her nose. “So it’s come to this…”
“Yeah…”
Haruka simply picked up her newspaper and resumed reading, giving Keitaro his cue to leave.
“Later.” Keitaro walked out of the Café Hinata and headed back up the stairs to the residence. “It’s for the best really,” he told himself. “Just a matter of time…”
XXX
A little over a week later, the telephone rang. Motoko, being the closest, answered it. “Hello, Hinata House…” A scowl came over her face as she heard the person on the line inquire about the availability of the party she wished to speak with. “Unfortunately, he’s here. One moment please. Bastard, it’s for you.” This was the first time she’d spoken to him in over a month.
Keitaro came into the room and took the phone, trying to ignore the withering glare Motoko gave him. “Yes? …Don’t worry about that…yes, I did…yes, it was…certainly…how about now?…you decide…I know where that is…an hour? Perfect…See you then.” Without another word, Keitaro hung up the phone.
Motoko, curious in spite of herself, had overheard Keitaro’s half of the conversation. She was intrigued enough to ask him about it, even as she kept up a contemptuous front. “Another housewife?” The satisfaction she received from seeing him flinch wasn’t as pronounced as it once was.
“No. But it was personal,” Keitaro replied. He then turned his back on Motoko and walked to his room, killing time by making sure the preparations that he’d made in anticipation were complete. They were, and it had taken less time than he’d expected.
After thirty interminable minutes of waiting, Keitaro exited his room and headed for the front door, no one paying attention to his departure, save Motoko, who felt that his actions were unusual, especially in light of the call. However, she didn’t feel a need to ask him where he was going or to follow him.
Keitaro walked briskly, more to burn off nervous energy than to hasten his arrival. When he arrived at the coffee shop, he grimaced at yet another reminder, but he forced himself to smile for the young woman who was waiting for him outside of it. “Reika Takayashi?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s me. Are you Keitaro Urashima?”
“Yes.”
The girl smiled brightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My friends thought that the ad must have been a joke…”
“It wasn’t. Let’s go inside and talk.”
The two went inside and were seated, both of them ordering tea. While waiting for their orders, Keitaro took a look at the person seated across from him. Reika was about nineteen or twenty years old, with blonde hair cut into a pageboy, and brilliant emerald green eyes. She was extremely cute, at the very threshold of being gorgeous. Once the tea was served, Keitaro broke the ice. “You’re interested in the position, correct?”
“Of course. Why’s it available?”
A pained look came over Keitaro’s features. “You heard what happened over the phone, right?”
“Yes…”
“That’s why. I can‘t deal with things anymore, everyone’s hurting, and change is the best way to end it.”
“What happened?”
“I slept with the married older sister of a resident,” Keitaro stated frankly. “She didn’t take that very well, and neither did most of the others.”
“I see…”
“This won’t be easy,“ Keitaro warned the woman. “Are you willing to deal with being an outsider?”
“Yes.”
“Strange occurrences, unusual behavior, and things that may make you question your sanity?”
“Like what?”
“You’ll see,” Keitaro replied cryptically. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Why are you so eager to do this?”
Reika blushed. “It’s always been a dream of mine.”
‘To each their own,’ Keitaro thought. “You’re absolutely sure? Once you’re in it’s hard to get out. You’ll have to sign on for at least a year.”
“I’m ready,” Reika emphasized.
‘Hope you’re right.’ “When could you start?”
“How soon will you be ready?”
“Today?”
“I can be ready in an hour.”
“So can I. Do you know where it is?”
“Yes.”
“Then be there in ninety minutes.”
“Just like that?” Reika asked. “Isn’t this a bit rushed?”
“I’m looking for someone to start immediately. Can you?”
“Yes, but…”
“But…” Keitaro prompted.
Reika shook her head. “Never mind, I’ll be there.”
“See you later then.” Keitaro bid his farewell and walked out of the shop. During the walk back to Hinata House, he contemplated what was likely to happen shortly. ‘I don’t really want to do this, but it’s for the greater good,’ he reminded himself. ‘Never thought it would come to this…’
Keitaro reached the residence and retreated to the sanctuary of his room, giving Haruka the quick ‘heads-up’ call that he’d promised. She didn’t sound too thrilled about it, and he could almost hear her disapproving look over the phone.
He then gave his room a thorough going over to ensure that he hadn’t missed anything. When that was finished, he paced around nervously, the prospect of what he was planning becoming more daunting in his mind. The ninety minutes crawled by, an eternity, with six months tacked on for good measure. Finally, he saw Reika walking towards the front door through his window.
‘It’s time…’
Keitaro made his way to the front door, timing his trip so he arrived at the exact moment the doorbell rang. He opened the door and found Reika standing there, an excited look on her face, and a backpack slung over her shoulder. “Is that all you need?” he asked in curiosity.
“Just for the first week, I’ll have the rest delivered later,” she replied.
Keitaro nodded at that and gestured for her to follow him. ‘Let’s do this,’ he thought without enthusiasm. He led Reika into the kitchen where the residents were eating. Everyone ceased dining and looked over at him, his presence in the kitchen being a bigger surprise than the short blonde standing behind him.
“Good evening all of you, I’ll make this short. This is Reika Takayashi…”
“You sleep with her too?” interrupted Naru. “When’s her husband going to show up?”
“No, nothing like that. Effective immediately, she’ll be taking over my duties at Hinata House.”
Keitaro’s casual announcement hung in the air like smoke, causing more than one resident to drop their chopsticks in shock. “Would-would you mind repeating that?” Kitsune asked hesitantly.
“She’s taking over my job,” Keitaro repeated. “I’m leaving. It-it’s too hard for everyone if I stay here.” He turned to Reika and gave her the book that held the profiles of all of the residents, with some of the notes he’d added. “They’re yours now. Please take care of them for me.” Keitaro turned his gaze back to the stunned residents. “I-I have enjoyed my time with you all, but with all that’s happened, I feel it would be better if I were to leave. For everyone I’ve hurt, I’m sorry.” Keitaro then bowed formally and turned to walk away.
“Sempai! Wait, you, you can’t leave…” cried Shinobu.
“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to be the owner and landlord here?” added Kitsune.
“I still am. Reika is the new caretaker.” Keitaro took in a shuddering breath. “Good-goodbye all of you. I’m sorry I’ve caused you all so much trouble.” He then walked out, leaving the residents and the new caretaker in the kitchen to try to come to terms with each other.
Fighting off tears, Keitaro made his way to his room for the last time, retrieving his belongings, all of which fit into a backpack and a small duffel bag. ‘Not much to show for all this time, is it?’ He focused on other thoughts to keep himself from dwelling on how much his heart was breaking. He was leaving the only real home he’d ever known, people he’d come to care for deeply, all because he’d made one terrible mistake.
Setting his jaw and blinking away the tears that were threatening to burst forth, Keitaro took a last look at his room and walked out, shouldering his bags and his burden, the figurative load much heavier than the literal one. He trudged his way to the front door, the sounds of absolute pandemonium coming from the kitchen, accusations and denials flying like snow in a blizzard. ‘Welcome to Hinata House Reika,’ he thought with some sympathy. He was both upset and relieved that no one had followed him so far.
He walked down the path towards the steps, not wanting to turn around and give the residence a last look, afraid it would destroy the last of his resolve. ‘Besides, I can remember every single detail,’ he assured himself. Halfway down the stairs he found Haruka waiting for him, her usual cigarette hanging from her lips, her stoic mask intact, betrayed only by a hint of sadness in her eyes. “So you found your replacement.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah…”
“You sure about this?”
“No, but, I don’t know what else to do. I know I’m running away, but I’m hurting everyone by staying.”
“Why couldn’t you have warned them?”
“Would have hurt even more. This way’s quicker.”
Haruka sighed and tossed away her cigarette. “Where will you go?” Her practical nature came to the forefront.
“I’ll manage,” he replied. A faint smile reached his lips, if not his eyes. “I’ll use the rent money to find a place of my own. I’m an absentee landlord now.”
Haruka was tempted to try and convince Keitaro to stay, but she figured that his mind was made up. This wasn’t some spur of the moment decision, he’d thought long and hard about this. She remembered how shocked she’d been when he’d told her of his decision. She figured that the residents were going through that in spades.
There was much she wanted to say, but she felt that only one thing really mattered now. “You take care of yourself Keitaro. And let me know how you’re doing.” On impulse, she walked over and embraced him, a gesture he tentatively returned.
“Thank you,” Keitaro whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Separating himself from his aunt, Keitaro continued down the steps, never once looking back.
Haruka watched him leave until he disappeared from view. She then lit a new cigarette and slowly started walking towards the residence. ‘Time to meet the new caretaker,’ she thought idly. ‘I hope she’s up to the challenge…’
XXX
Keitaro walked in a daze, still having trouble reconciling with the fact that he’d actually left Hinata House. He left only enough of his mind operating to ensure that he could walk swiftly and that he wouldn’t walk to any of his usual haunts by mistake. Avoiding Tokyo University was a priority to him, as that was were Naru had tracked him down the time he’d attempted to leave over the holidays. ‘Maybe it won’t matter,’ he pondered numbly. ‘I doubt that anyone will try to catch me this time…’
Keitaro wiped at his eyes harshly, determined to not let the tears come, at least not while he was in public. Leaving Hinata House had been even more painful than he’d anticipated. Of its own accord, his mind was replaying past experiences at Hinata house, the more pleasant times certainly, but more prominently the nightmarish months since Toshio had taken his revenge.
He shook his head to try and clear it, and picked up the pace of his walk, trying to find something to think about that didn’t make it harder to keep from crying. His conscience wasn’t letting him off the hook however, so he resigned himself to being assaulted by his memories. Keitaro did slow his pace a little when he belatedly realized what he must look like, nearly running through the streets, with an expression testament to barely maintained self-control.
‘I need a quiet spot,’ Keitaro decided. He turned more attention to his walk, grateful to have something else to focus on. In the distance it looked like there might be a park, and while that wouldn’t be as deserted as he’d like, it was better than these crowded streets. He headed for the solitude, drawn like a moth to a porch light, anxious to find someplace he could rest and attempt to deal with his tortured thoughts.
Reaching the park, Keitaro headed for the first empty bench he could find, tossed his bags on the ground underneath it, sat down and buried his face in his hands. He took several deep, shuddering breaths as he used all of his willpower to keep up a façade of normalcy. From some of the whispered comments he overheard from passersby, it probably wasn’t working, but at this point, he didn’t really care. In this park at least, Keitaro was anonymous, just some strange guy who apparently had a lot on his mind.
‘It’s over…I-I can’t go home again…’ Keitaro was not referring to his mother and father. ‘Where do I go now? A hotel?’ For all his preparations before leaving Hinata house, Keitaro hadn’t given that much thought to what he’d do after he left. He figured that he’d decide what to do when the time came. ‘Well, the time’s come and gone, and I still don’t know what to do.’
At the first few drops of rain, Keitaro looked up and found further validation that he must have been an evil bastard in a previous life. Dark clouds had rolled in, and it looked like he’d get soaked if he didn’t find shelter. But even as the rain began in earnest, he felt no great urge to leave. The rain matched his mood perfectly, and it was clearing the park of other people. If he stayed, he’d get the solitude he craved. ‘Besides,’ he added somberly, ‘rain will hide tears…’
Keitaro felt burning around his eyes and realized that he’d already started crying. He let them flow, feeling the warm trails down his cheeks get washed away by the cold rain water. He still made an effort to keep his crying under control; silent tears in the rain were acceptable to him, bawling his eyes out wasn’t.
Keitaro lost track of time as he sat in the rain, his clothing slowly becoming waterlogged. His jacket was better suited for rain, but he wasn’t moving, making him an easy target. ‘I really should get out of the rain,’ he decided, but he felt no great compulsion to move. It was though he’d just given up, and decided to stay on that bench until he died. ‘This is pathetic.’ He snorted disdainfully. ‘I’M pathetic, but I just don’t want to have to face anyone anymore and…and…hey, why don’t I feel rain anymore?’ Belatedly, Keitaro realized that he could still feel the warm trails of his tears on his cheeks.
Keitaro cast his eyes upward and noticed that he was under an umbrella. He let out a breath and cursed silently. Unless he’d somehow mastered using the Force, he wasn’t holding that umbrella over him, which left only one other possibility. ‘They tell me they want nothing to do with me, but they chase me every time I leave! How’d they find me anyway? One of Su’s inventions? Or did they lo-jack me one night while I slept?’
Keitaro gathered his resolve; this wasn’t going to be easy. ‘I can’t look at her, it’ll only make it harder if I see her face…’ Taking a deep breath to marshal his courage and rubbing his hand over his face to clear away any tears, Keitaro said, “I can’t go back Naru, not the way things are now…” Keitaro heard a faint intake of breath and continued. “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Me leaving is the best for everyone…”
“Is it really that bad?” a quiet voice replied.
Keitaro opened his eyes in surprise. ‘That-that wasn’t Naru… It-it almost sounded like…’ He slowly craned his head around and discovered, “Tsu-Tsuruko…”
“Hello Urashima,” she answered softly.
Calling Keitaro surprised would have been a grave understatement. “What the hell are you doing here?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “I mean, what, why… how did you?” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence.
“I heard you left home,” Tsuruko stated, ignoring his incoherent sputtering. “Is that true?”
Keitaro slowly nodded. “How, how did you…?”
“Motoko called me,” Tsuruko replied, holding up a cell phone, and successfully guessing what Keitaro was attempting to ask.
“I left about an hour ago, how’d you get here so fast?” he demanded, incredulous that he was talking to her. “Does the Shinmei School teach teleportation?” Considering things that he’d seen Tsuruko do, it seemed the most likely explanation to Keitaro’s frazzled mind.
Tsuruko shook her head slowly. “I was actually in the area.”
“Why…?”
Tsuruko handed Keitaro the umbrella, which he accepted without really thinking about it. She slowly walked around to the front of the bench and gestured towards it, silently asking for Keitaro’s permission to sit.
“Go-go ahead,” he replied, unsure of himself. “It’s wet though, you might wanna be careful…”
Tsuruko sat down and said nothing for some time, the rain beating relentlessly against her hat. She stared out at the rain, seemingly lost in thought. Keitaro watched her profile, noticing with a considerable sense of shame that Tsuruko seemed to be in greater pain than the last time they’d met.
All of the times Keitaro had seen Tsuruko, she’d always had a cheerful way about her, even when she thoroughly trounced Motoko in the Hinata House outdoor bath. But now, the way she moved was different somehow, as if she was weighed down by some burden. Not only was there no humor in her eyes, they looked as if they’d become incapable of expressing that emotion. Her frown was also unsettling, as a smile had always appeared to be the default expression on her face. Disregarding the time they’d tried to deceive her, Keitaro had only seen Tsuruko frown the night of their indiscretion, and the following morning.
After a few minutes of no sound other than the rain, Tsuruko answered Keitaro’s question. “I-I was thinking of visiting you…”
Keitaro’s jaw dropped in utter shock. “Wha-wha-wha,” he babbled like a moron, his mind unprepared for such a response. He violently shook his head and mentally slapped himself, attempting to re-boot his frozen thought processes. “Why? Are-are you crazy?” Keitaro was too confused to have very much tact.
“I knew what Toshio had done, I heard it from Motoko,” Tsuruko replied. “I had to make her swear not to harm you.”
“Why’d you do that? I think I would have deserved it…”
“No, you didn’t, not after what I did…”
“What YOU did?” Keitaro squawked. “It was my fault for not putting up more of a fight!”
Tsuruko put up her hand, effectively killing the argument before it could really take off. “Regardless of how it happened, you didn’t deserve what my sister was planning. But it sounds like it wasn’t any easier for you regardless.”
“Yeah…”
“What was it like?”
Keiatro leaned back and let out a breath. “After Toshio told everyone what happened, the others didn’t take it very well.” A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. ‘There’s the understatement of the century…’
“I told Toshio not to hurt you…”
Keitaro shook his head. “I don’t really blame him. If I hurt him as bad as I think, I’d say I deserved what I got.”
Tsuruko pursed her lips, but didn’t reply.
“How-how have you been?” Keitaro asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“Troubled,” Tsuruko replied glibly.
‘I can imagine,’ Keitaro silently sympathized. “How did Toshio react?”
“Shocked, and angered…”
“Yeah, Naru and your sister were about the same. Mostly angered though…”
For the next few minutes there was only the sound of the rain, as the two emotionally damaged people kept their thoughts to themselves. “What are you going to do?” Tsuruko asked when the silence grew too uncomfortable for her.
“Don’t know,” Keitaro confessed. “I’ll figure something out,” he reassured her.
“Then why don’t you come stay with me in Kyoto?”
If Keitaro had been drinking, he would have spat it a couple of yards. Had he been eating, he would have started choking. All that he did however, was snap his head around so quickly his neck cracked. “WHAT?”
“Come stay with me,” Tsuruko repeated calmly.
Keitaro stared slack-jawed, not believing what he’d heard. In his confused state he gave a dry response that would have impressed Haruka. “I don’t think Toshio would appreciate that…”
“Toshio isn’t there,” answered Tsuruko.
Keitaro’s head swam. ‘Oh no…’ “You-you-the two of you…you’re…you’re…” He couldn’t give voice to his fear.
“We haven’t divorced,” replied Tsuruko, which made Keitaro almost collapse with relief. “Toshio said he wanted to try and face his demons,” she continued. “He figured it was best if he went elsewhere to do that.”
“I see… But why the hell are you inviting me to stay with you?”
“I-I’m part of the reason you had to leave Hinata House. This is my way of trying to help you…”
“No. No. Bad idea. Thanks, but no.”
“Keitaro…”
“Us sleeping together was bad. Me moving in… that is SO wrong…”
“Please. I’m trying to help you…”
“How does that help? Except give everyone more reason to kill me?”
“I’ve caused you so much pain. I-I’m honor bound to try and help you get through this…”
Keitaro couldn’t believe the surreality of this moment. The woman whose marriage he’d probably destroyed was offering to take him in. “I don’t think that’s going to help…”
“Please Keitaro,” insisted Tsuruko. “You were there for me when I needed someone, and you tried to help me afterwards. Can’t you accept my offer for what it is? A chance to help you?”
‘This is nuts, me moving in with her? No way, I’d have to be crazy, maybe even suicidal to do that.’ With these thoughts going through his head, Keitaro was startled when he heard someone say, “Alright.” He belatedly realized that it had been his own voice. ‘I gotta be nuts.’
“But with some conditions,” he added after the fact to salve his survival instincts.
“Such as?”
“First of all, I’m staying in a guest room that’s as remote as possible.”
“Of course. I wasn’t planning on having you in my bedroom,” Tsuruko replied, a hint of rebuke in her voice.
‘Thank God,’ Keitaro thought. “Secondly, I pull my own weight; rent, food, helping out around the house, that type of thing.”
“That’s perfectly acceptable,” Tsuruko answered with a nod.
“Please don’t tell anyone I’m there.”
“Obviously.”
“Finally, and most importantly, if, no, WHEN Toshio comes back, I’m gone, period.”
“Why are you so sure he’ll come back?”
“He’s married to you. Only a fool would stay away…” ‘What the hell was that? Don’t even THINK of flirting with her, you idiot. This is difficult enough already.’ Absorbed in his own thoughts, Keitaro didn’t notice Tsuruko’s eyes widening at that comment.
“I agree,” replied Tsuruko. “But I have a condition of my own.”
“What is it?”
Tsuruko let out a breath. “Be sociable.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Be sociable. I’m not saying we have to be joined at the hip, but I’d like to talk to you from time to time. You won’t just be a boarder, you’ll be a guest in my home…”
It took a moment of silent contemplation for Keitaro to give an answer. “I accept.” ‘It’s not like I’ll be there very long anyway…’
“Then let’s go,” prompted Tsuruko, rising to her feet.
“Now?”
“Now. Unless you like sitting out in the rain…”
“It’s not so bad,” Keitaro replied, as he retrieved his bags from the ground.
“Not sure I agree with you,” Tsuruko replied with a ghost of a smile.
Keitaro merely shrugged, and fell into step with Tsuruko, as the two of them made their way to the train station in silence.
To Be Continued…
Author’s Notes:
Thanks to Random1377 for pre-reading, and giving me the name ‘Reika Takayashi.’ In his defense, he didn’t know what I needed it for, so don’t blame him.
Random read this and allowed it to pass when he was satisfied with it. He then berated me on its lack of Lemon content, and then made a few helpful suggestions.
Space constraints, and concerns about traumatizing you readers, prevent me from listing all of them, but they included a nun’s outfit, leather sheets, and a paint roller…