Marvel Avengers Fan Fiction ❯ A Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Avengers Fan Fic - The Constant ❯ Chapter 11 - The Nurse - Becoming The Primary Carer ( Chapter 11 )

Chapter Eleven: The Nurse - Becoming The Primary Carer

One of the guards visits with a private message for you. Doctor Jakobs wishes to see you but not until tomorrow, he wants you to put a report together on what happened today. You look at the message and then at James, who is sleeping. This is so important. You need to say the right thing, to impress on Doctor Jakobs the importance of what is happening.

The other nurses and orderlies have heard what you have done, and you refuse to leave when your replacement arrives. Stefan is with you, and surprisingly enough the guard Eduard Marinov has appeared and actually tells the guards to remove the other nurse. He tells you that you will not be disturbed for the rest of the night.

Stefan leaves for a while and arrives back with food and drink. You wake James up to take some of the soup that has been brought; he is soon fast asleep again, absolutely exhausted, and you leave him be for the rest of the night.

Stefan leaves you so he can sleep. Marinov has found him a bunk for the night in with the guards, daunting but Stefan is grateful - he doesn't want to go back to the dormitory. Stefan has already insisted that he will cover for you the next morning whilst you are seeing Doctor Jakobs. Kristo has said he will come and assist him.

You ask Marinov for one last favour - could one of his guards collect a file of papers for you from under your mattress? He agrees, and it is brought straight back to you.

You have been putting together a report for some time now. You finish work on it and then, pulling up a chair next to James' bedside you make yourself as comfortable as possible, and fall into an uneasy sleep with your feet propped up beside his sleeping form.

*

Just before ten the next day, you walk into the office. You expect just Doctor Jakobs, but instead they are all there: Doctor Schmidt, Doctor Taffeteer, Doctor Aichinger and, finally, the one you dread: Doctor Lehmann.

They are expecting you.

You know you must keep your temper. You know what these men are like; logic is their main staple diet. They are not just doctors, they are scientists, and they thrive on it. You will need to pander to their arrogance and there must be logic in everything you ask for.

What she does not know is she has already persuaded one of them. Doctor Jakobs saw the patient; saw what had been done. He doesn't need to listen to what she has to say about the incident, he knows things have to change. It has been on his mind all night and it is why he has called this meeting. He is banking on her feelings for their patient; that she will personally accept responsibility for his welfare.

They invite you to sit. Gentlemen to the last.

“We would like to hear your version of what happened with Nurse Richter and Orderly Wombwell. And why you had the audacity to order them out of the patients room,” one of the doctors begins.

They have already talked to both the nurse and the orderly, both of whom blustered their way through an explanation of how important it was to get the patient to eat but at how he fights them at every turn. About how disruptive he is, how they have problems with him that the doctors don't see. And, they add, how she does not work with them but keeps her distance. “As if she is better than us” Richter had said indignantly.

You take a deep breath and, trying to sound as professional as you can, you tell them about the scene you found. Whilst describing the condition you found the patient in, a few of them go a little pale and one turns up his nose - as if you had brought the smell into the room with you.

“Richter did say they may have been a little...overzealous at feeding time,” one of them says, making it sound as though they had been at the zoo.

“Its not overzealousness that caused the problem,” you say. “The nursing staff are running a bet. Whomever gets the most of the slop down him gets to win a weeks' supply of cigarettes. They use the same food that they have used all week. It is mouldy. Flies had been feeding of it. It is slop.” You pause for effect. “When Stefan and I examined the patient after his shower, he had additional burns. Not just on his body, but on his genitals. All were from the use of the baton; his punishment for not eating the week-old food. We found he had not been cleaned, or allowed out of the bed for three days, and had spent that time lying in his own faeces and urine. They had soaked into his wounds and his bed sores. The straps were so tight that they left deep abrasions which had started to fester and restricted him from moving. He has had no pain medication for months. Not even a saline drip. The food they were feeding him was rancid and mouldy and, as I mentioned, already a week old. I am sure they told you how they spit in it to make it tastier.”

They mutter at that. After all, none of them likes to think of themselves as sadists. You notice Doctor Lehmann has not said a word but is watching you closely.

Doctor Jakobs clears his throat.

“I can vouch for what Nurse Bowman is telling us. I saw the condition in which our...patient was in. I was shocked. I had never thought about what happens when he is not in with us, but this was bad. I would even go as far as to say it was torture...his condition certainly looked almost as bad as it did when I brought him here from the interrogation camp.”

“Well then maybe we could agree that certain conditions are met in future...” Doctor Schmidt begins, but you interrupt him.

“That will not be enough.” The room falls ominously quiet.

Tread carefully.

They did not see the file in your hand until now. You open it up, stand and hand them several sheets. If you knew there would be more than one of them you would have typed more copies. They think that you were just preparing a report because of yesterday, what they didn't know is that you have been thinking about this since you first came here. You have been putting this file together since you arrived.

“These are facts and figures I have gathered, and some recommendations that I would like to put forward.”

They obviously expect you to start with a list of “Do and Don't', but instead you start with statistics.

You list James Barnes' wounds over the past months. Then you bring to their attention the problem of bed sores and enforced bed rest. The statistics show conclusively that patients take longer to heal if forced to lie down for long periods of time. Some even die.

“But this patient heals on his own.” Doctor Aichinger argues.

“Yes, but how much faster would it be if he wasn't weakened by infections all of the time?” you counter.

She has just hit the jackpot but does not know it. She has their full attention.

You proceed to the figures that show the need to keep muscle tone and strength up.

The need for a proper diet. The slop they feed him in no way benefits their work.

“At the moment you have the patient eating nothing but liquidised vegetables and fruit. And it's not the freshest either; this is food that has already gone past its shelf life. I've seen them prepare it in the kitchens, most of the time it is substandard, leftovers from mealtimes. If the patient had a better diet, comprised of fresh vegetables, fruit, fish, meat, milk, then when your project is ending and you want to see the final results, his digestion, musculature, and nervous system will already be used to ordinary food. At the moment it is not. He cannot even hold proper food down. This means that parts of his body are not getting what they need. An example would be his teeth and bones, which are not getting the calcium they need. There is something in his body that keeps on repairing despite this but you need more than that to happen - you need to give it a building ground to know what to repair and where.”

You go on to show that a gentle exercise programme once a day would increase the tone they are building and keep it sharp. “Surely gentleman if you are trying to create an enhanced...soldier, you would want him to have his body kept to the peak of its performance? There must be a better way for all of this. You are supposed to be working on a fine specimen of the human race but instead you are continually working on a sick and drugged man, surely your findings are therefore incorrect and the work will take longer?”

You look at them.

“Gentleman, we all know how important musculature and supreme health would be to an enhanced soldier - unless of course, I have misunderstood the valuable work you are doing here, and you are trying to find a way to kill a super soldier instead of building one?”

No one says a word. They are studying the statistics, showing each other things they have found of interest. You wait for a break in what they are saying to focus them back on to you and what you are telling them. Even Lehmann is studying the facts. “I can give you an example of where I know the treatment he is receiving from the staff is giving you conflicting results on your serum. You mention how thirsty he always appears to be. I heard you talking about it; you said you think it is a by-product of your serum. I don't believe it is. The nursing staff keep his saline drip turned off as part of his punishment. He is always dehydrated, always desperate for water.”

Doctor Jakobs closes his eyes in frustration. He had noticed and is now cursing himself for not putting two and two together. The months they have lost on just that one small problem!

“Then there is the pain medication.” You proceed to ask quietly if they are aware of the fact that the patient's supplies of morphine are actually syphoned off and sold on the black market. “In the entire time that I have been here I have only been able to administer a morphine dose three times and that is only because I had some hidden. Do you know the pain our patient is in most of the time? They use gags to keep him quiet, so you don't hear him screaming when he is strapped to the bed so tightly the straps bite into his skin and cause even more sores and muscle cramps. Or when he screams because the serum is doing something to his bones and his muscles and he can't move to ease the pain. Or when they burn him as punishment for wetting the bed because they don't take him to the bathroom.”

You take a breath, then continue.

“The only time he is cleaned is when he is due to be tested...and they do it with bleach and hard bristled brooms. The bleach being poured on his open wounds was punishment for him killing that orderly. The one that helped rape him. Did you know that?”

Your words shock them. For the first time they realise that they do not know what is happening under their very own noses.

Doctor Lehmann looks up. He is the only one not too shocked by what she has said. He knows what was going on - or thought he did. He has to admit though, he had no idea about the severity of the treatment, about the lack of morphine or the rape. He wants James Barnes to be in a weak frame of mind but maybe, just maybe, he thinks for the first time, he has been going about this in the wrong way.

She has given him food for thought.

Work on the body first, and then they can turn their attention to breaking his mind.

“Is that it?” he asks.

“Nearly,” you say, and give them your best smile. “If you will let me, I have a proposal for a better health plan for him which should impact in a positive way on your research, which in turn should make Hydra extremely pleased with you...all of you,” you add, and you are now focusing on Lehmann.

You finally allow yourself to fall silent.

Bullshit and confidence.

None of those statistics you have quoted to your knowledge exist, and if they do, you certainly do not have access to that type of information, especially buried down here God knows where. If any of them ask you, you are prepared to say you learnt them when studying to become a nurse and it was what they used in a field camp and at the main hospital.

Bullshit and confidence.

They talk quietly amongst themselves and then ask you for your proposal. You hear Doctor Jakobs saying it can't hurt to listen. You hand them several sheets of paper and take a deep breath.

“All of the nurses and most of the orderlies you use are from prisons, and in most cases there is a reason why they were there. They also have no medical training. None. You do not need all of these people. If you look on Page 2, you will see a feasible rota made up of two nurses and two orderlies; I have also taken the liberty of adding names in for the orderlies. We would need to get a second nurse from a reputable hospital; the ones you employ are not suitable for their tasks. The two orderlies are decent men, hard-working, who do care for the patient - and I should like to keep them on.”

They look at you and then back at the papers, murmuring to each other.

“I have also included a plan of a carefully balanced nutritional diet which factors in all the patient would need and the exercise programme I mentioned earlier. And there is just one other thing,” you wait until you have their attention again.

“The batons that are used burn his skin, not just the skin but all the way through to flesh. They are not needed. Instead...” and you hate yourself for this, but it is better than what they currently use

“...batons that emit just a small electrical charge instead would be better and less disruptive to his health.”

You would like to have argued a case for nothing to be used, but you are practical. You know they would never agree to their abandonment altogether.

“I can see you have been thorough,” says Doctor Lehmann. You are used to his sarcasm, but this man should be watched very carefully. He is so ambitious and you know he runs the operation now. You need him on-board.

The doctors ask you to wait outside.

You nod, but just as you go out of the door you say: “...and of course, with a smaller workforce of the correct personnel less people would know of your...important work. After all the black market is also a place for secrets to be sold, which is not good for you or for Hydra.”

You leave. Sitting outside the room you go over and over what you have said. Could you have said it better? Have you persuaded them? What if they turn you down?

You hear footsteps and look up to see Eduard Marinov. He frowns at you but does not stop to talk. He knocks on the door and is told to come in.

Your stomach hits the floor. You have failed. He has been summoned to be your executioner. Yet all you can think is you have let James down again; to you, it is akin to letting them take him in the field camp and not doing anything to stop them.

Marinov is not in there for long and when he comes out he walks off in the other direction without even looking at you. You stare at the floor, convinced of your failure. Your mind cannot handle any more.

You are asked to go back in. You are convinced they will not take up your proposal, you have let your patient down. It is your appointment that will be terminated; you who will be put in front of a firing squad.

You must not let them see your lack of confidence.

Doctor Jakobs is the one that does the talking. Lehmann sits there studying you. Jakobs tells you that they took a vote on it, that just one doctor had reservations but in the end he agreed as anything is better than what is currently in operation.

“But,” and at this point Lehmann interrupts leaning forward and takes over. “We have two provisions.”

You nod but you feel like you are under water. They went for it! You drag your mind back to what you are being told.

Concentrate.

“You will become the patient's primary carer. Everything that happens to him in your care will be your total responsibility. You will also be the only nurse we keep, but we will allow the two orderlies to stay.”

Doctor Jakobs is the one to thank for that. It is he who vouched for your choice of both Stefan and Kristo, for he remembered Stefan's work on the day the patient killed the orderly.

You did not mean for that. You meant for his care to be split between you, one other nurse and the two orderlies. “I don’t think I understand...” you begin but Doctor Lehmann smiles and explains so that you are in no doubt as to his orders.

“The responsibility for this is on your shoulders, and yours alone. We expect to be consulted on the diet and exercise programme you come up with - although you seem to know what you are talking about. We expect to see an improvement in his condition and therefore in our own findings within the month. With regard to the exercise programme, this will be kept to a minimum. Just enough to keep the body going. We will worry about more...in-depth exercise when he is where we want him in the program.”

“And the second?” you ask.

“As he gets fitter and more...” he searches for the word “... alert, shall we say, he will remain sedated at all times.”

Lehmann knows that when the patient becomes stronger and able to function he may either seek his freedom or attempt to kill himself once more. He will not allow either eventualities to happen.

Your immediate thought is to argue, but you have won so much today. You could lose it all. This way little by little you could work on the sedation issue.

You nod instead. “And the batons?”

Doctor Jakobs answers that one. “We will issue new batons as soon as possible. It may take a few days but I am sure we can get that done soon.” He actually smiles at you.

“Thank you,” you say and you mean it. To not to have to see the seared and burnt flesh or hear his cries is more than you could have hoped for.

“You will in future deal directly with myself and Doctor Lehmann,” Doctor Jakobs tells you, and then they dismiss you.

As you open the door to leave, Doctor Lehmann asks one more question.

“Nurse Bowman, do you not want to know what your punishment will be if you fail?” he asks, his smile cold.

You look at him, and although your knees go weak you do not show it.

“I won't fail,” you say, and then you leave, closing the door quietly behind you, Your legs barely able to hold you up.

As the door closes the doctors are quiet. It is Doctor Lehmann who finally breaks the silence.

“Gentlemen, I believe what the nurse has said is correct - but we must not let our guard down with that one. We know she is loyal to Barnes, not to us. Doctor Jakobs, I want to know all that she discusses with you in the future. Do I make myself clear?”

Jakobs would like to argue but Lehmann has Zola himself backing him. They know it will not be long before he is awarded the directorate of the facility, he is someone to watch out for, unless you want to end up buried in an unmarked grave.

“Yes I understand.”

“We are so close now and when we are at the right stage we will begin working on breaking his mind. I feel the end may actually be coming into sight.” Lehmann actually claps his hands, rubbing them together.

He stands.

“Now, let us get back to work.”

You head for the toilets and get there just in time to bring up what little breakfast you had. You cannot believe they went for it. You cannot believe you are up to this. But you must be, you are all James has now and you won't let him down.

It is midday and you return to your dormitory, dreading facing the other nurses. But when you get there it is only to find it empty of everything and everyone: people, furniture, everything has gone. How fast they move when Hydra makes its mind up about something. You look at the room and wonder what has happened to the people you have been responsible for getting rid of. Are they back in prison cells...or, more likely, lying dead somewhere. Food for the worms. You think you know which one. Hydra likes its secrecy and they were people who were willing to sell anything.

You know their deaths are on your head and if that is the case, then so be it. You try and analyse how little that affects you and start to feel a little frightened about how callous you are becoming. They were people after all. Then you remember how they treated James, and your jaw tightens.

Your patient is your only concern.

A year ago it would have devastated you to cause the deaths of so many people. Now you feel nothing for them, what are you beginning to turn into?

Stefan joins you, making you jump. You had prayed he was safe and you had believed Doctor Jakobs when he said your choice of personnel was accepted.

“They have moved us into rooms on the third floor,” he says. “Doctor Jakobs asked me to come and find you, Kristo is in with our patient.”

As you walk you tell him what happened at the meeting. He doesn’t say much but you think he looks relieved. You both return to the floor you work on, and Stefan shows you to a room that is set up for you. There is a bed in there with your pitiful belongings.

“Kristo and I are just down the corridor on the other side, we're sharing a room,” and he tries to smile to lighten the situation. He is worried. He doesn't know how Kristo will be if he finds out the secret he is hiding.

When he has left you look around the room. It isn't much but at least there is only one room between you and James. His welfare is now in your hands and for a moment it makes you feel dizzy and sick. Then it hits you. What if you had let everything carry on as it had been, and the project had crashed and burned?

He would have been out of it. Dead.

And now?

Now, he is forced to stay alive and be their guinea pig. Have you really done him any favours? What is it about you that is so bad for him? Why are your lives so twisted together? You thought you were doing the best thing for him but you weren't, not really.

For a moment you sit on the bed and stare at the wall. You cannot believe how much your life has changed since that day the soldiers dragged James Barnes into the camp.

You bow your head.

“What if I had just gone back to my tent that day,” you murmur. “ What if I had l just left well alone?”

There is no one to answer that but yourself.