Monster Rancher Fan Fiction ❯ Monster Rancher's Day Off ❯ Chapter 1
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: deathbyanime 
View the frightening world of Monster Rancher's stars.
Anime/Manga: Monster Rancher Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.10.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Completed
View the frightening world of Monster Rancher's stars.
Anime/Manga: Monster Rancher Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.10.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Completed
A/N: Written during my much flakier dbzlives days. Be forewarned.
A stage can be seen. There's a microphone and various electronic equipment, but no one's there. The camera stays focused on this for the next fifteen minutes.
Finally, the camera turns as a girl rushes in. Her boot catches a cord, tripping her and knocking the microphone over, followed by a storm of swearing. This is the author.
dbzlives: Ack.. My earrings set off the metal detector, and the security guard wouldn't let me through. Like I'm going to sabotauge my own fic. *sets the microphone back up* Now, I'm here today to show you what the Monster Rancher cast does on their days off.
*dramatic music*
dbzlives: The hell..? I didn't know I had a special effects budget. *shrugs* Anyways, I had some of my operatives follow the cast and see what they do. *produces a bag with several tapes inside it* *pauses* I probably should have watched these first, so I'd know what I was getting into.. o_O;; *puts the tape in and presses play*
----------
The camera pans across a city and zooms into a very sleazy part of town. We see Tiger, standing on a corner illuminated by a streetlight. He's wearing bright red lipstick, fishnet nylons, and generally looking like a hooker.
As the film rolls, Greywolf walks up behind him. "Hey baby, your place or mine?"
Tiger turns around, smiling what we can only assume is supposed to be a sexy smile, until he sees Greywolf. He then freaks out and is almost hyperventilating. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Greywolf nearly falls over in shock. "Tiger! Why are you dressed like that? Wait, don't answer, I don't want to know."
Tiger gives Greywolf one of his patented glares. "If you ever tell _anyone_ about this.." His horns spark menacingly.
Greywolf shudders. "No need to worry about that, I'll be doing my best not to think about it." He wanders off looking revolted while Tiger goes back to working the streets.
----------
dbzlives: My god in heaven, that was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. *cringes* Let's just watch the next tape.
----------
Genki is sitting in a chair, wearing a grungy tanktop and boxer shorts. He has a beer belly and is at least 20 pounds heavier than he is in the show. A five o'clock shadow is forming on his face. 'Mr. Energy' stares at the TV blankly, occasionally reaching over for another beer or some pork rinds. He belches, farts, then scratches himself obscenely.
----------
dbzlives: o_O Damn, Monster Rancher must have a really good make up artist. *inserts the next tape*
----------
We see Hare lurking outside a school yard, wearing a trenchcoat. After the bell rings, a few kids come up to him, speak briefly, then hand over cash. He reaches inside a pocket and hands them various drugs.
Next, Hare corners a few children who aren't interested in drugs. He forces them to take the drugs with them, content that they'll try them.
The camera follows as he finds a Zuum who is also selling drugs. He snaps his fingers, some Dark Hares appear, and they proceed to beat the living shit out of the Zuum, then dump him in a landfill.
----------
dbzlives: Whoa, better not let the FBI see this tape. O_O;;
----------
The camera focused in on a shower. Through the opaque glass, we can vaguely see the outline of a female in the shower.
Suddenly, there is an outburst of loud, horribly off key singing. "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.."
----------
dbzlives: *yelps strangely, turns off the tape* Ok, who put that in there?!
The camera flashes to the author's younger sister, who is smirking and giggling.
dbzlives: There will be no more shower/singing scenes concerning me, thank you very much. *fumes silently while putting in the next tape*
----------
We see a clearing in a forest. After a few moments, several monsters enter, led by Golem. They are all wearing elaborate robes and carrying athames, wands, incense, and other ritual tools.
They set up an altar and form a circle. Golem begins saying the ritual lines, forming the circle and calling the Goddess and God into the circle.
----------
dbzlives: o.o That was _cool_. I didn't know Golem was a Wiccan.. *absently sticks in the next tape while pondering this*
----------
We see a beautiful beach somewhere in Jamaica. White sand, blue ocean, not a cloud in the sky, the works.
Holly and Pixie are both stretched out on lawnchairs wearing tiny bikinis. Pixie reaches over to the table and picks up a martini, complete with little umbrella, takes a drink, the continues tanning. Holly appears to have fallen asleep.
----------
dbzlives: Finally, someone who does something NORMAL on their day off! *applauds while setting up the next tape*
----------
Mochi sets up a small wooden stand on a busy street corner. He then runs into an alley, and "Cherry Blossom Blizzard"s the hell out of it.
Twenty minutes later, he walks out of the alley with an armload of lovely cherry-blossom flower arrangements, which he begins selling at the stand.
----------
dbzlives: *twitching* Reminder of Aeris.. Urge to kill rising.. *quickly shoves in another tape*
----------
Suezo and several military guys in fatigues are on a hill. The military guys make a big show of squinting and trying to see through their binoculars.
"Suezo, it's up to you," says one army-guy, in an overly dramatic voice.
Suezo then peers into the distance and describes an enemy base in great detail, after which the army guys applaud.
----------
dbzlives: o_O That was.. really, really lame. *coughs, and inserts the final tape*
----------
Moo's fortress appears. There's loud, pounding music and strobe lights coming out. The camera is shut off as the camerawoman tries to find a way in.
When the camera turns back on, it's inside Moo's fortress. There's a huge rave going on, with a random band onstage. Opposite of them, a few random pixies are doing a strip tease. In the crowd, every baddie who's ever had any screen time are all dancing and getting high together.
The camera's set down on a table and forgotten, facing the punchbowl, while the camerawoman joins the party.
--------
dbzlives: *blink, blink* Cool. *gathers up the tapes and returns them to the bag* Well, that's our show folks. *takes the tape of herself singing in the shower and stomps on it* ^_^
Credits
*as the credits roll, selected bits from the videos appear freeze framed*
All Monster Rancher characters belong to their creators
*Tiger and Greywolf freaking out at the sight of each other*
Hostess: dbzlives
*Hare and the Dark Hares dumping the Zuum in a landfill*
Camerapeople: figments of 'lives imagination
*Golem wearing a black robe and waving an athame around*
Tiger and Greywolf joke: Samantha, the younger sister
*Mochi with the flower stand*
Apologies to FFVII
*Genki scratching his groinal area*
The author, obviously thinking the fic's over, reaches into the bag and removes a tape. "Stripping pixies.. Heh.." She walks out, stumbling over a cord but managing to stay on her feet this time. She leaves, then a beeping metal detector is heard. "God dammit!"
A stage can be seen. There's a microphone and various electronic equipment, but no one's there. The camera stays focused on this for the next fifteen minutes.
Finally, the camera turns as a girl rushes in. Her boot catches a cord, tripping her and knocking the microphone over, followed by a storm of swearing. This is the author.
dbzlives: Ack.. My earrings set off the metal detector, and the security guard wouldn't let me through. Like I'm going to sabotauge my own fic. *sets the microphone back up* Now, I'm here today to show you what the Monster Rancher cast does on their days off.
*dramatic music*
dbzlives: The hell..? I didn't know I had a special effects budget. *shrugs* Anyways, I had some of my operatives follow the cast and see what they do. *produces a bag with several tapes inside it* *pauses* I probably should have watched these first, so I'd know what I was getting into.. o_O;; *puts the tape in and presses play*
----------
The camera pans across a city and zooms into a very sleazy part of town. We see Tiger, standing on a corner illuminated by a streetlight. He's wearing bright red lipstick, fishnet nylons, and generally looking like a hooker.
As the film rolls, Greywolf walks up behind him. "Hey baby, your place or mine?"
Tiger turns around, smiling what we can only assume is supposed to be a sexy smile, until he sees Greywolf. He then freaks out and is almost hyperventilating. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Greywolf nearly falls over in shock. "Tiger! Why are you dressed like that? Wait, don't answer, I don't want to know."
Tiger gives Greywolf one of his patented glares. "If you ever tell _anyone_ about this.." His horns spark menacingly.
Greywolf shudders. "No need to worry about that, I'll be doing my best not to think about it." He wanders off looking revolted while Tiger goes back to working the streets.
----------
dbzlives: My god in heaven, that was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. *cringes* Let's just watch the next tape.
----------
Genki is sitting in a chair, wearing a grungy tanktop and boxer shorts. He has a beer belly and is at least 20 pounds heavier than he is in the show. A five o'clock shadow is forming on his face. 'Mr. Energy' stares at the TV blankly, occasionally reaching over for another beer or some pork rinds. He belches, farts, then scratches himself obscenely.
----------
dbzlives: o_O Damn, Monster Rancher must have a really good make up artist. *inserts the next tape*
----------
We see Hare lurking outside a school yard, wearing a trenchcoat. After the bell rings, a few kids come up to him, speak briefly, then hand over cash. He reaches inside a pocket and hands them various drugs.
Next, Hare corners a few children who aren't interested in drugs. He forces them to take the drugs with them, content that they'll try them.
The camera follows as he finds a Zuum who is also selling drugs. He snaps his fingers, some Dark Hares appear, and they proceed to beat the living shit out of the Zuum, then dump him in a landfill.
----------
dbzlives: Whoa, better not let the FBI see this tape. O_O;;
----------
The camera focused in on a shower. Through the opaque glass, we can vaguely see the outline of a female in the shower.
Suddenly, there is an outburst of loud, horribly off key singing. "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.."
----------
dbzlives: *yelps strangely, turns off the tape* Ok, who put that in there?!
The camera flashes to the author's younger sister, who is smirking and giggling.
dbzlives: There will be no more shower/singing scenes concerning me, thank you very much. *fumes silently while putting in the next tape*
----------
We see a clearing in a forest. After a few moments, several monsters enter, led by Golem. They are all wearing elaborate robes and carrying athames, wands, incense, and other ritual tools.
They set up an altar and form a circle. Golem begins saying the ritual lines, forming the circle and calling the Goddess and God into the circle.
----------
dbzlives: o.o That was _cool_. I didn't know Golem was a Wiccan.. *absently sticks in the next tape while pondering this*
----------
We see a beautiful beach somewhere in Jamaica. White sand, blue ocean, not a cloud in the sky, the works.
Holly and Pixie are both stretched out on lawnchairs wearing tiny bikinis. Pixie reaches over to the table and picks up a martini, complete with little umbrella, takes a drink, the continues tanning. Holly appears to have fallen asleep.
----------
dbzlives: Finally, someone who does something NORMAL on their day off! *applauds while setting up the next tape*
----------
Mochi sets up a small wooden stand on a busy street corner. He then runs into an alley, and "Cherry Blossom Blizzard"s the hell out of it.
Twenty minutes later, he walks out of the alley with an armload of lovely cherry-blossom flower arrangements, which he begins selling at the stand.
----------
dbzlives: *twitching* Reminder of Aeris.. Urge to kill rising.. *quickly shoves in another tape*
----------
Suezo and several military guys in fatigues are on a hill. The military guys make a big show of squinting and trying to see through their binoculars.
"Suezo, it's up to you," says one army-guy, in an overly dramatic voice.
Suezo then peers into the distance and describes an enemy base in great detail, after which the army guys applaud.
----------
dbzlives: o_O That was.. really, really lame. *coughs, and inserts the final tape*
----------
Moo's fortress appears. There's loud, pounding music and strobe lights coming out. The camera is shut off as the camerawoman tries to find a way in.
When the camera turns back on, it's inside Moo's fortress. There's a huge rave going on, with a random band onstage. Opposite of them, a few random pixies are doing a strip tease. In the crowd, every baddie who's ever had any screen time are all dancing and getting high together.
The camera's set down on a table and forgotten, facing the punchbowl, while the camerawoman joins the party.
--------
dbzlives: *blink, blink* Cool. *gathers up the tapes and returns them to the bag* Well, that's our show folks. *takes the tape of herself singing in the shower and stomps on it* ^_^
Credits
*as the credits roll, selected bits from the videos appear freeze framed*
All Monster Rancher characters belong to their creators
*Tiger and Greywolf freaking out at the sight of each other*
Hostess: dbzlives
*Hare and the Dark Hares dumping the Zuum in a landfill*
Camerapeople: figments of 'lives imagination
*Golem wearing a black robe and waving an athame around*
Tiger and Greywolf joke: Samantha, the younger sister
*Mochi with the flower stand*
Apologies to FFVII
*Genki scratching his groinal area*
The author, obviously thinking the fic's over, reaches into the bag and removes a tape. "Stripping pixies.. Heh.." She walks out, stumbling over a cord but managing to stay on her feet this time. She leaves, then a beeping metal detector is heard. "God dammit!"