Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Adventures in Ponyland ❯ Chapter one ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Utter crack ahead. This is your only warning.

I am not taking credit for any of this. Most of the blame for this story is leveled at a friend who made a comment about Genma and Raidou as ponies. My muses didn't help at all. Neither did two other friends. One who said we did worse in our roleplays and the other for supplying me with My Little Pony episodes.

This is just the first chapter of a short multi-chapter story. The next chapter will have two or three others in it. XD Who? That's a surprise! Also, this has absolutely NO bearing on my other stories. It's not linked to any of my other universes and is a complete stand-alone. I tried to write the next chapters for Thalassa's Story and ANB but the muses weren't behaving and my friend just had to make that comment which lead to this. Hopefully once this is out of my system, I can get those chapters out.

I don't own any of the ponies. Nor Genma or Raidou.

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"Ugh." Shaking his head, Genma forces his eyes open. Freezing, he takes in the fact that he is most pointedly not in his and Raidou's bedroom. Staring wide-eyed at the green landscape spreading out before him, he mutters. "I'm never drinking again. Or smoking. Or challenging Gai." A groan coming from his left catches his attention and he turns his head to see Raidou then blinks, trying to dispel the image of a blue pony that has his lover's distinct scars covering his face. Pauses and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes only to see a bright green hoof instead. Stops and swallows hard. "...Raidou...?"

"What is it Genma?" Groans as he struggles to his feet, wondering why he feels different and finally opens his eyes. Swinging his gaze towards his husband, he goes stockstill. "Genma?"

The light green pony faces him. "Yea, it's me."

"......Tell me this is a dream."

"I can't." Genma twists his head around to stare at his hind quarters then turns back to Raidou. "I'm green. Green with a green mane and tail. I'm a pony! And you're blue! What was in those drinks Kakashi gave us last night? I'm going to murder him the first chance I get."

"We have company." Raidou's comment brings Genma's rant to a quick stop and both warily regard the half dozen brightly colored ponies approaching.

"Hello!" A pink pony with blue hair lands in front of them.

"...She has wings, Raidou."

"You have a horn."

Genma's entire body twitches and he shoots him a disbelieving look. ".................."

"You're both new here, aren't you?" The pink pony speaks up again, her wings folded against her sides. "I'm Firefly." She's clearly waiting for their names.

"I'm Shiranui Genma and this is Namiashi Raidou."

"Welcome to Ponyland." Another pony speaks up, this one pale blue. "I'm Windwhistler. Please, make yourselves at home."

"They have weird names." What is clearly a baby speaks up in a loud whisper, staring at them with huge eyes, not seeming to notice she spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Hush, Baby Buttons. That's not polite."

Turning to Raidou, Genma whispers faintly. "Ponyland? Please let this be a dream. A serious fucked up dream." He falls silent for a moment then shouts. "This is all Kakashi's fault. Kakashi! Only your screwed up imagination and sense of humor could come up with something like this! You better end this damn genjutsu so I can kick your ass, brat!"

Startled by his sudden shout, the ponies all leap backwards, staring at them with brightly colored eyes.

Baby Ribbon chimes up loudly. "Why is he talking to the sky? Is it going to answer him?" Without waiting for an answer, she tilts her head backwards and shouts. "HELLO SKY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY!?" Her mother is quick to shush her and she protests. "But he's doing it! Why can't I?"

"Hush Baby Ribbon."

Pouting, she listens to her mother but stares at the two new strange ponies hopefully.

"Momma? What's a...a...gen....jutsu?" Baby Lofty peers around her mother to get a good look at Genma and Raidou.

"You'll have to ask them."

Blinking, Baby Lofty immediately gallops at them. "What's a genjutsu?"

"It's magic." Raidou cuts off Genma before his lover can snap at the baby. "Something special only we know how to do."

"Oh. So I can't do it?"

"I'm sorry but only those born with the ability can." He goes to lift a hand to pat on her head, forgetting for a moment he is a horse, oh excuse me, a pony, and thus has no idea how to stand on three legs much less walk. Wobbling, he loses his balance and hits the ground, all four legs stretched out in funny angles.

"You're awfully klutzy, aren't you?"

The rest of the baby ponies surround Raidou as Genma tries to decide whether to laugh or try to help him up.

"Children, leave him alone. That's not polite." Ribbon ushers the children away from Raidou and helps him to his feet. "Come, I'll show you and your friend where you can stay."

"We'd like to get home, if it's all the same to you."

Ribbon glances behind her. "You'd have to speak with Mister Moochic for that."

"...Mister Moochic?"

"Yes. He knows everything. I'm sure he could help you return to your home." Nodding, Ribbon doesn't seem at all bothered by the name.

Genma, however, is having no such luck and looks torn between amusement and horror.

Raidou shakes his head and feels the disturbing motion of hair sliding along his neck. Twitching, he follows the others carefully as he tries to keep from tripping, hoping that this Mister Moochic can help them. The sound of running comes from behind him followed, 'hey! I'm running!' which is quickly followed by a thud and Genma goes rolling past.

"You're silly."

Raidou glances to the side, seeing a pony gazing at them. Genma sprawled upsidedown, his head sticking out of the bush he crashed into and his legs sticking from the top of said bush.

"That's just how Genma is."

"I noticed." Ember's tail flickers as she watches him struggle free of the bush and laughs. "Come with me. I told the others that I would take you both to Mister Moochic. I thought it was best if there wasn't a large crowd."

"Thank you." Nudging, why in the hell is he beginning to get use to this?, Genma he follows Ember. "You don't have markings like the others."

"I'm the only one to be born without any." She keeps up a slow and easy pace, clearly for their sakes.

They travel in silence for several minutes before Raidou decides to ask her something. "Do you know why we're here? Or how we ended up here?"

"Yes and no." Ember looks at them and gives them a small smile. "This isn't a genjutsu, Genma. Your friend Kakashi had nothing to do with this. It was an accident that brought you here. You both being ponies was....a side effect." She ignores Genma's mutterings, 'Kakashi is no friend of mine. I bet I'm dying from alcohol poisoning right now and that bastard is laughing.' Her attention is on something else entirely, staring at something intently than smiles. "Oh good. Mister Moochic seems to be ready for you."

"Ready? Ready for what?" Genma immediately latches onto that, his head swinging around to stare at the pink pony warily.

"You'll see." She trots across a small bridge, knowing that they will follow. "Here we are."

Raidou looks around, staring up at the massive mushrooms then sweatdrops heavily before he looks at Ember. "Where is this Mister Moochic?"

"I'm right here, good sir!" The elf bustles out of his house, a rabbit on his heels and beams happily at them. "Good to see you again, Ember! Now let's take care of our guests!" Clapping his hands, he motions to the female pony.

Stepping forward, she allows the locket around her neck to be removed and Mister Moochic opens it, a rainbow sailing out to hover around their heads.

"Good good!" He reaches into his pocket and feels around for something but gets poked and looks at Habbit. "Oh there it is! Thank you." Accepts the item and flips it open, a blast of sparkles shooting out to surround the rainbow.

Both the rainbow and sparkles glow brightly, soon causing everyone to look away.

"Now! Hop through. The portal should return you to where you belong."

"Wait! Should?!" Genma's voice cuts through the air, having taken two steps towards the portal when the words hit him.

"Oh yes yes. Should. This has never been tried before! Hurry hurry or it'll close and you'll be trapped here forever." Shooing them towards the portal, he waves as they tumble through. "Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Raidou, Genma. Good luck in getting home." Ember's voice mingles with the elf's, both sounding as if they are coming from far away.

Flat on his stomach, Raidou groans and pushes himself upright, eyes tightly closed from blocking out that bright light. Cracking one eye open, he notices that they're on the floor of their living room and lets out a sigh of relief. "We're home, Genma."

"...Yea but how in the hell are we going to explain this?!" The unusual tone to his lover's voice has him rolling over and opening his eyes to see what is wrong. "Uh....." He stares at the younger man with a mix look of horror.

Sitting in front of the couch, Genma looks absolutely disgruntle. Having a unicorn horn sticking out of his forehead and his once brown hair is now a dark green and seems to have what looks like a tail spread out behind him.

"At least I'm not the only one."

"What?" Distracted by the fact his husband still has animal parts and misses what he said next.

"You have wings and a tail. Your hair is blue too." He sounds a bit too gleeful when repeating what he had said.

"......."

"It's kinda of cute, love." A pause. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get drunk enough to pass out and hopefully when I wake up, this will have all been a bad dream."

"..Good idea. I'm going to join you."