Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Another Naruto High School Story ❯ In Which Sakura Reads Shakespeare and Sasuke Writes Emo Poetry ( Chapter 1 )

Another Naruto High School Story

Written By: Kisara the Angel of Music

Disclaimer: I own nothing presented in this fanfic nor am I making any profit from it.

Note: I want to credit two things which I’ve borrowed before I start this. One is the form of the chapter titles, which is based off of Patricia C. Wrede’s work. A lot of other authors do it as well, but I first found it in her books. Also, the narration with Kiba and Naruto was slightly borrowed car racing scene from the movie Better Off Dead. With the Japanese endings to names (chan, san, kun etc.). I only bothered to keep in ‘sensei’ as they don’t sound right without it. None of the others are apparent.

Also, there are about hundred other fics of this same premise in the Naruto section alone (thus the title) and I’ve only read a few of them. If any of my ideas overlap with someone else’s, I’m truly sorry but it was completely unintentional as I am completely opposed to plagiarism.

Chapter One: In Which Sakura Reads Shakespeare and Sasuke Writes Emo Poetry

---------- English Class

"For never was there a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo," concluded Sakura to her teary eyed classmates. Well, two were teary eyed at least. Lee because his longtime crush had just read aloud Shakespeare with such youthful exuberance and Naruto because Lee had stabbed him with a pencil whenever he'd burped at the 'mushy parts'.

"Bravo Sakura!" cheered Iruka, the sophomore class English teacher. A hint of pink spread across her face as she took her seat once more. "Now," he stated, wanting to get his class back on topic. "In case you're wondering why I had Sakura read aloud a segment of Shakespeare, it was requested by your acting teacher-" but before he could finish, the classroom door was knocked off its hinges and flung across the room by a rather odd intruder.

"The great and youthful Gai-sensei!" he shouted, striking a pose.

Iruka stared at the damage done, knowing that it would somehow manage to come out of his paycheck. Incredulous, he asked "Were you waiting outside the door this entire period?"

Rubbing his chin, Gai assumed a different position, this one more serious and insightful. "Iruka, when you reach a position of such importance as mine, you'll understand just how much impact a great entrance has."

A single sweat drop fell down the back of Iruka's head. "I see you're not denying it. In any case, I was referring towards the fact that you have class right now, no?"

"Ah, but the hip Jiraiya has kindly filled in for me!" answered Gai after performing his standard 'Nice Guy' stance.

---------- Acting Class

"Now watch closely class. See those two girls? That's what I like to call 'effective use of toys'," Jiraiya said, pointing to the TV set.

One freshman boy who will be unapparent after this point and thus unnamed, raised his quivering hand. "But... Jiraiya-sensei, isn't this just porn?"

Appalled, Jiraiya put on his angry face and lifted his fist high. "Just porn? Just porn? No! My dear boy, this is much more than porn, this is ART! Now be quiet, here's where they bring in the cheerleaders."

---------- English Class

“I... see,” replied Iruka. “Well, since you’re here, perhaps you’d like to explain to the students what’s going on.”

“To be granted a task of such awe-inspiring proportions, I’d be delighted! Ahem,” he coughed, preparing to project his manly theater voice. “This year's sophomore class of Konoha High shall be performing none other than- Drum roll please.”

Rock Lee, both Gai’s favorite student and suspected clone, eagerly complied. However, in order to express the sheer dramatic intensity of the moment, he went off for five minutes straight into what sounded suspiciously like Beethoven’s fifth.

Finally, after finding a short pause in Lee’s drum solo, Gai quickly jumbled together “Thephantomoftheopera.”

“What?” asked Naruto, waking up from his brief nap.

“I said, this year’s play will be none other than Andrew Lloyd Webber’s masterpiece, The Phantom of the Opera!”

“Then why did we just waste half of English reading Shakespeare?” mumbled Shikamaru. “How troublesome.”

“Quiet!” yelled Gai as he threw an eraser at Shikamaru’s head. “Let me explain my genius! In Iruka’s class you’ll be exploring the characters of Leroux’s novel, while experiencing those same parts in mine. Now, ‘why Romeo and Juliet?’ you may ask. Simple, both stories share the same theme: love among youth.”

“No they don’t,” countered Ino. “For one thing, The Phantom of the Opera was originally classified as a horror and Romeo and Juliet as a tragedy. Neither were romances. Plus, the actual Phantom was in his fifties, hardly what you’d call youthful-”

“Neh!” Gai interrupted. “It’s obvious you need to further educate these kids on themes, Iruka.

“But... You’re wrong!” Ino continued, not realizing how futile it was to try and teach Gai common sense. Iruka sighed at this. They had been planning to teach Romeo and Juliet. It was clear that Gai had just changed his mind at the last minute and was trying to make excuses.

Ignoring Ino’s second outburst, he turned to his coworker Iruka. “But I digress. It is time for me to return to my class. Until we meet again!” With that, Gai skipped outside and bounded down the hall. His singing could still be heard from far away.

Just as Iruka was about to open his mouth to give them their homework assignments the bell rang, leaving Naruto and Kiba to give their daily display.

“WHOO! Lunch!” screamed Naruto as he jumped on top of his desk, lost his balance and toppled the entire thing over, thus getting tangled up in the mess.

“Loser!” pointed Kiba who then pounded over to the gaping hole in the wall. “Last one there buys the whole table sodas!”

And the race was on.

“In his mad dash across the hall, Kiba doesn't see that other door about to open. Ouch! He's skidded into it! Now, Naruto’s making up for lost time and is running ahead. But wait! He's turned around to taunt Kiba with a merciless round of ‘Nyah nyah nyah’s and doesn't see the ‘Wet Floor’ sign.

“It’s a sight to be seen folks as he’s slipping across the floor in a manner that can only be described as a graceful rampant. His crashing into various members of the faculty has caused papers to fly everywhere, yet all the while he's remained upright. And Kiba makes a comeback! He’s climbed onto the back of an unsuspecting freshman, using him as a sort of surfboard to gain extra speed.

“Uh-oh, Tsunade-sensei does not look happy! What’s this? She’s telling him to stop? But- oh that’s gotta hurt. It seems Kiba grabbed onto Naruto and they both spun out of control, each slamming into opposite sides of the hallway. I’d hate to be them when their parents find out. Now- wait a second! Just when we thought all was over Chouji takes the lead! Slow and steady wins the race, eh?”

Tenten looked at Neji quizzically. “How is it for these same five minutes every day you get so out of character?”

Neji shrugged, his ‘I’m too sexy for your party’ demeanor restored. “Someone has to narrate.”

---------- The Cafeteria

After a severe session of scolding and ‘You two can’t bear to lose any more brain cells’s, Kiba and Naruto joined the rest of the gang for lunch. Every day to fit everyone in they bunched three tables together, much to the chagrin of the janitor.

“So what’s new?” asked Naruto whilst he began to slurp down his customary seven bowls of ramen. He had sat down next to Sasuke who was crunched up on the floor in the corner (chairs were too conforming), writing feverishly in his notebook.

He looked up, though it was hard to tell through the large amounts of hastily applied eyeliner. “I’m writing poetry. It’s not like you’d understand it. No one ever understands.” That being said, he continued to work on his ‘angst outlet’ as Shikamaru had nicknamed it.

"All right then... weirdo. Hey!" he suddenly exclaimed after looking around. "Where are all the girls?"

Shino glanced up from his book and answered, "They've gone to the bathroom to discuss. Things." He gave Sasuke a meaningful look. Oblivious to it, Naruto grinned.

"Probably talking about how hott they think I am. Yeah, any day now Sakura's gonna come around and ask me out. Yup. I'll be waiting."

"Delusion. Unrequited love. It's perfect for another poem. Your stupidity has paid off Naruto, thank you," commented Sasuke as he turned to a new page.

Glaring at him, Naruto stood atop his chair and announced to the entire student body, "I am NOT delusional!" His words were met with heckling and green beans thrown at his head.

---------- The Girls Bathroom

Sakura, Ino, Tenten and Hinata all stood in front of the long row of mirrors, each either applying a new layer of lip gloss or fluffing up their hair. "So," began Sakura. "How goes plan Get in Neji's Pants?"

Hinata grimaced at this. It was bad enough that Tenten actually liked the disgusting brute that was her cousin, but the vivid imagery as well? Ew. It reminded her all too well of a brief phase he'd gone through around a year ago when he'd decided pants were unnecessary if he was staying inside the house. It was short lived in that Hinata quickly demonstrated she had a digital camera and wasn't afraid to use it.

"Shushith!" whispered Tenten hurriedly. "The stalls have ears!"

"Okay..." Sakura said slowly, unsure of how to respond to that.

Sensing the time was right to pounce, Ino slyly asked "But Sakura, how are things with your crush going? I know you don't like Sasuke anymore, which is good 'cause I'd have to kill you, but who do you like? I bet it's that dork Naruto!"

At this Hinata blushed furiously and turned in the other direction while Sakura's gag reflux was tested. "What? That moron? I had to peer edit his paper once and it turned out he'd copied the first five pages of Moby Dick and replaced Ishmael with Uzumaki."

"Sorry," Ino responded. "But! You didn't answer my other question!"

Shaking her head, Sakura said, "No one. At least not right now." For a while she had though that maybe... But she couldn't mention that, they'd all take it the wrong way.

Before Ino could pry any more the ending bell rang, leaving them with five minutes to get to gym.

"I hate this class, Jiraiya-sensei's the worst!" sighed Hinata, her face having returned to its normal pale coloring.

"Yeah, but at least he's a normal pervert. I feel bad for the boys, they have to put up with Orochimaru-sensei. He creeps the heck out of me!" responded Tenten.

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Note: If you did read all that, then please review! It truly makes my day.