Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Come Paradise ❯ Models of the rookie nine ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Project 0506 
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. They are created by Masashi Kishimoto and this author had not part in the creation and ownership of characters used in this story. I am not using this for profit in any way, shape or form....I think that covers everything.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 06.22.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Completed
Standard disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. They are created by Masashi Kishimoto and this author had not part in the creation and ownership of characters used in this story. I am not using this for profit in any way, shape or form....I think that covers everything.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 06.22.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Completed
“What is it Neji-kun?”
Shaken out of his trance-like state, the genius glanced over at his cousin and said the most intelligent thing that came to mind. “Huh?”
“Neji-kun, are you alright? You look flushed.” Hinata regarded him worriedly, mistaking the blush that flared across his face for a sign of fever. She reached out a hand to check his temperature but he jerked back.
“That’s alright! I’m fine really!” The boy sternly reminded himself to look at her face and not down lower… “I should go. Um…I’ll see you around. Later.” He took off running. Hinata’s eyes followed his retreating form.
“Sometimes I worry about him…”
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Neji’s feet barely seemed to come in contact with the pavement. Clutched in one hand were two pieces of paper. On one, an extremely endowed and extremely NAKED Hinata leaned forward in an X rated ‘come hither’ stance. On the other, an enraptured Tenten played with herself, using kunai in ways that MUST be forbidden by every medical specialist in the known world. On the bottom of Hinata’s picture was scrawled: “Meet at team seven’s bridge. Sincerely, Naruto.”
Neji seethed. Oh he’d meet Naruto at the bridge alright. There was, however, no guarantee that Naruto would ever leave the bridge…
He slowed to a frantic dash as the bridge came in sight. Mentally he prepared his speech. First he would grab the fox-boy and break his neck. Second, he would throw him on the ground and repeatedly stomp on his stomach until his large intestine burst. Third he would drag him up by the blond hair. Fourth: He'd hold him at eye level and yell.
"You *censored*ing *censored* son of a *censored*!! I'm gonna *censored*ing *censored* you, you *censored* *censored*, and I'm gonna make you watch while I *censored* *censored* you. How dare you *censored*ing do that to my cousin and Tenten!" Then of course he'd need to pause to catch his breath. After this he'd repeat step four as many times as it was necessary for his eardrums to burst and blood to run down from his ears.
Fifth, he would use a kunai and slit open his stomach and let the acid burn away at his insides...then he'd listen to any forthcoming explanation. Afterwards, just for the heck of it, he'd slit his throat and throw him in the river. Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Of course, he was quite flexible at the moment. He could later decide to leave the boy alive and turn him over to Tenten-chan, Hiashi-san or, God forbid, Kurenai-san. No, he was feeling quite stingy today. He'd kill Super Pervert Junior himself.
He paused at the edge of the bridge, ignoring the other boys present. Instead his attention was focused on the one and only soon-to-be-late Uzumaki Naruto. He decided to start out with step four.
He took a deep breath, then exploded. "You *censored*ing *censored* son of a *censored*!"
"Welcome Hyuuga-san, glad you could make it. Kindly place your pictures in the bonfire to your left then have a seat anywhere. While we wait for Kiba-san I am sure you would like to accept the number Shikamaru will hand you. The numbers represent the order in which you will try to kill me. It is a first come, first served basis, unfortunately."
Momentarily shocked into silence, Neji accepted the proffered piece of paper, carefully burned the two pictures and then sat next to a madly twitching Lee. With distaste he noted his paper bore the number 6. Damn, he'd have to wait for all the others before he could get a piece of him. Next he had to sign a contract provided by Nara which prevented him from killing Naruto until everyone who wanted to had beaten him.
"Lee? What number..."
"2. While Shikamaru goes first I will need to locate several bottles of sake."
"Any idea what the hell is going on?" The normally hyper taijutsu master shook his head.
Suddenly an ear splitting howl tore through the evening and Kiba appeared.
"NARUTO! *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED* YOU!!!" Akamaru howled along with his master
*Unfortunately we are as yet unable to translate Akamaru's statement but reliable witnesses claim that several parts of Naruto's anatomy were described, followed closely by a detailed and censored description of exactly what would happen to said anatomical parts.*
"Thank you for coming Kiba. Kindly burn your picture and have a seat. Then we can begin this meeting."
Within a few moments everyone was settled, all glaring at the spokesperson. Several had kunai at the ready, two had random pills held closely while two others calmly activate their bloodlimits. "I won't tell everyone to calm down because even I am not that stupid. I sent you all those pictures because they were guaranteed to get your attention." Naruto pulled up an easel and placed a chart on it. On said chart were the four konoichi. All pictures were roughly crayoned over to give the illusion of clothes. "Now people we have a very big problem. As Ero-sennin's student, he is determined to turn me into a pervert like himself."
"Apparently he succeeded." Naruto glanced at Shino, annoyed.
"No interruptions until I am finished. You can all gang up on me and kill me but then you won't hear what I have to say. By the time you do find out it will be far too late." He had their grudging attention. "Now, as I was saying, Ero-sennin is determined to turn me into a pervert like him. Because of that, he tries to make me read each of his books before they come out. Normally I don't. But this one particular book he said he got his inspiration from watching some Leaf-nin bathe. I figured it was Anko-san or Kurenai-sensei he was talking about and went through the book to find the pictures and then have then mangle Ero-sennin. To my horror I found that the konoichi he was watching were OUR TEAMMATES! On further inspection I found that this book, Icha Icha Violence Volume 18, revolves around a character who looks suspiciously like Sasuke-teme wandering into the private bathing hole of a secret society of konoichi. They proceed to...extract information from the shinobi, each one of the four taking turns in his...torture. This book goes on sale next week. There is one thing I'm sure everybody here agrees on. WE HAVE TO STOP THAT BOOK FROM COMING OUT!"
Shaken out of his trance-like state, the genius glanced over at his cousin and said the most intelligent thing that came to mind. “Huh?”
“Neji-kun, are you alright? You look flushed.” Hinata regarded him worriedly, mistaking the blush that flared across his face for a sign of fever. She reached out a hand to check his temperature but he jerked back.
“That’s alright! I’m fine really!” The boy sternly reminded himself to look at her face and not down lower… “I should go. Um…I’ll see you around. Later.” He took off running. Hinata’s eyes followed his retreating form.
“Sometimes I worry about him…”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Neji’s feet barely seemed to come in contact with the pavement. Clutched in one hand were two pieces of paper. On one, an extremely endowed and extremely NAKED Hinata leaned forward in an X rated ‘come hither’ stance. On the other, an enraptured Tenten played with herself, using kunai in ways that MUST be forbidden by every medical specialist in the known world. On the bottom of Hinata’s picture was scrawled: “Meet at team seven’s bridge. Sincerely, Naruto.”
Neji seethed. Oh he’d meet Naruto at the bridge alright. There was, however, no guarantee that Naruto would ever leave the bridge…
He slowed to a frantic dash as the bridge came in sight. Mentally he prepared his speech. First he would grab the fox-boy and break his neck. Second, he would throw him on the ground and repeatedly stomp on his stomach until his large intestine burst. Third he would drag him up by the blond hair. Fourth: He'd hold him at eye level and yell.
"You *censored*ing *censored* son of a *censored*!! I'm gonna *censored*ing *censored* you, you *censored* *censored*, and I'm gonna make you watch while I *censored* *censored* you. How dare you *censored*ing do that to my cousin and Tenten!" Then of course he'd need to pause to catch his breath. After this he'd repeat step four as many times as it was necessary for his eardrums to burst and blood to run down from his ears.
Fifth, he would use a kunai and slit open his stomach and let the acid burn away at his insides...then he'd listen to any forthcoming explanation. Afterwards, just for the heck of it, he'd slit his throat and throw him in the river. Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Of course, he was quite flexible at the moment. He could later decide to leave the boy alive and turn him over to Tenten-chan, Hiashi-san or, God forbid, Kurenai-san. No, he was feeling quite stingy today. He'd kill Super Pervert Junior himself.
He paused at the edge of the bridge, ignoring the other boys present. Instead his attention was focused on the one and only soon-to-be-late Uzumaki Naruto. He decided to start out with step four.
He took a deep breath, then exploded. "You *censored*ing *censored* son of a *censored*!"
"Welcome Hyuuga-san, glad you could make it. Kindly place your pictures in the bonfire to your left then have a seat anywhere. While we wait for Kiba-san I am sure you would like to accept the number Shikamaru will hand you. The numbers represent the order in which you will try to kill me. It is a first come, first served basis, unfortunately."
Momentarily shocked into silence, Neji accepted the proffered piece of paper, carefully burned the two pictures and then sat next to a madly twitching Lee. With distaste he noted his paper bore the number 6. Damn, he'd have to wait for all the others before he could get a piece of him. Next he had to sign a contract provided by Nara which prevented him from killing Naruto until everyone who wanted to had beaten him.
"Lee? What number..."
"2. While Shikamaru goes first I will need to locate several bottles of sake."
"Any idea what the hell is going on?" The normally hyper taijutsu master shook his head.
Suddenly an ear splitting howl tore through the evening and Kiba appeared.
"NARUTO! *CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED* YOU!!!" Akamaru howled along with his master
*Unfortunately we are as yet unable to translate Akamaru's statement but reliable witnesses claim that several parts of Naruto's anatomy were described, followed closely by a detailed and censored description of exactly what would happen to said anatomical parts.*
"Thank you for coming Kiba. Kindly burn your picture and have a seat. Then we can begin this meeting."
Within a few moments everyone was settled, all glaring at the spokesperson. Several had kunai at the ready, two had random pills held closely while two others calmly activate their bloodlimits. "I won't tell everyone to calm down because even I am not that stupid. I sent you all those pictures because they were guaranteed to get your attention." Naruto pulled up an easel and placed a chart on it. On said chart were the four konoichi. All pictures were roughly crayoned over to give the illusion of clothes. "Now people we have a very big problem. As Ero-sennin's student, he is determined to turn me into a pervert like himself."
"Apparently he succeeded." Naruto glanced at Shino, annoyed.
"No interruptions until I am finished. You can all gang up on me and kill me but then you won't hear what I have to say. By the time you do find out it will be far too late." He had their grudging attention. "Now, as I was saying, Ero-sennin is determined to turn me into a pervert like him. Because of that, he tries to make me read each of his books before they come out. Normally I don't. But this one particular book he said he got his inspiration from watching some Leaf-nin bathe. I figured it was Anko-san or Kurenai-sensei he was talking about and went through the book to find the pictures and then have then mangle Ero-sennin. To my horror I found that the konoichi he was watching were OUR TEAMMATES! On further inspection I found that this book, Icha Icha Violence Volume 18, revolves around a character who looks suspiciously like Sasuke-teme wandering into the private bathing hole of a secret society of konoichi. They proceed to...extract information from the shinobi, each one of the four taking turns in his...torture. This book goes on sale next week. There is one thing I'm sure everybody here agrees on. WE HAVE TO STOP THAT BOOK FROM COMING OUT!"