Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fishcakes & Ramen ❯ Baby Penis ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: anjellyfish 
Naruto meets a boy while doing his business in the bathroom and... he's the other special program student?! Together, Haku, Naruto and their new companion form a bond that will ultimately destroy the school's high status and extract revenge on Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru. Review please. Thank you and enjoy (:
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.10.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 218 | Status: Work In Progress
Naruto meets a boy while doing his business in the bathroom and... he's the other special program student?! Together, Haku, Naruto and their new companion form a bond that will ultimately destroy the school's high status and extract revenge on Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru. Review please. Thank you and enjoy (:
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.10.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 218 | Status: Work In Progress
Title: Fishcakes & Ramen
Summary: Hidden Leaf Academy was the most prestigious school in the district where the instructors were all award-winning teachers from all over the world. The school was built on 76-acres of lush Hidden Leaf land in which the students occupy forty-four school buildings; including three libraries and learning centers; computer areas and language labs, a physical education facility, and an art facility for grades K-12. Then, through a special “No Kid Left Behind” program, the school admitted several lucky kids into their school for free. As soon as that was done, the school status crumbled. They all blamed it on the special transfer student who smelled like fishcakes and ramen.
Genre: Humor/Friendship
A/N: Thank you KaitouRyuki for being my first reviewer and for actually review my fic! (: In Naruto's words: "You're the best!"
Please keep the reviews coming, it seriously makes me happy.
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Summary: Hidden Leaf Academy was the most prestigious school in the district where the instructors were all award-winning teachers from all over the world. The school was built on 76-acres of lush Hidden Leaf land in which the students occupy forty-four school buildings; including three libraries and learning centers; computer areas and language labs, a physical education facility, and an art facility for grades K-12. Then, through a special “No Kid Left Behind” program, the school admitted several lucky kids into their school for free. As soon as that was done, the school status crumbled. They all blamed it on the special transfer student who smelled like fishcakes and ramen.
Genre: Humor/Friendship
A/N: Thank you KaitouRyuki for being my first reviewer and for actually review my fic! (: In Naruto's words: "You're the best!"
Please keep the reviews coming, it seriously makes me happy.
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Session 3: Baby Penis
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He finally made a friend -- and together, they were “Naruto and Haku” it should have been “Haku and Naruto” since Haku claimed that ‘H’ came before ‘N’ but Naruto was already on the verge of wetting himself; both on his cheeks and from out of his “peepee”
“Fine, Naruto!” Haku huffed, and folded his arms firmly over his chest. “Together, we are Naruto and Haku!” he said, in a tone that would satisfy his new friend. Naruto sniffled. “You mean it, Haku?”
“Sure.” Haku replied, grimly. “Just don’t pee here. Geez, you’re going to embarrass yourself on the first day of school-”
“I think Shikamaru, Kiba, and Sasuke took care of that already.” Naruto growled, baring his teeth. Haku rolled his eyes. “Well, hurry back. We have to come up with a plan before lunch is over.” he waved his hand lazily in the air, motioning for him to leave.
“I’ll be right back!” Naruto yelled over his shoulder as he headed quickly for the nearest bathroom. He stumbled down the hall as if he were drunk, but quickly spotted Tenten in front of her locker and went over to ask where the bathroom was when he decided that he couldn’t locate the bathroom himself.
“Tententententententententen-”
̶ 0;Naruto! Stop yelling!” Tenten winced. “What’s wrong?” she asked with a look of hesitation on her face. “Take me to the bathroom.” he simply replied. Tenten huffed haughtily, but attempted to point in the direction of the nearest bathroom when a boy nudged her shoulder and cut her off.
“It’s all the way at the end of this hall. You’ll see the janitor’s closet -- next to it, there should be the men’s restroom.” the boy replied, calmly. Tenten’s eyes widened.
Naruto bounced; his bladder feeling like it was going to explode, but he bowed politely and thanked the boy and headed down the hall. Tenten turned to her friend in shock. “But that’s the haunted one!” she pointed out.
“As if I didn’t know that already, Tenten.” he replied. Tenten paused and sighed with a smile. “You’re an evil monster, Gaara.” she teased. “You’re the one who influenced him to talk to Sasuke.” he reminded. “Which resulted in school-wide humiliation.” he added, shortly after.
-
-
-
Naruto spotted the janitor’s closet, and next to it; the bathroom. “Oh boy!” he cheered to himself, and ran inside. The bathroom was very big, and very clean; just as expected from an exclusive private school. The urinals were shiny and clean and were wide enough for a fat person to sit in. He liked it a lot.
He unzipped his pants and begun his business. “Ahhh…” Naruto sighed in relief. A few seconds into pissing, he felt like someone was standing behind him. It didn’t seem like anything at first, but he started to panic when he felt someone breathing down his neck.
“Everything’s gonna be all right~” Naruto sang nervously and he zipped up, proceeding to leave when he bumped into something.
Naruto screamed, his voice pierced through the walls of the bathroom and echoed throughout the entire school. In the hallway, heading towards the café facility, Tenten sickered after Gaara commented on how girly Naruto screamed.
“Keep your mouth shut, you big baby.”
Naruto immediately stopped and arched a brow. “What?” he snorted with an air of arrogance. Standing before Naruto, was a boy who was a few inches taller than he was. His hair framed his pale face and his face had a cold and distant expression.
“You can’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” the boy folded his arms over his chest. “Shall I present you with a dictionary? Do you want me to look up the word ‘vagina’ and compare it with yours?” he asked, rudely.
Naruto fumed. “I’m a freakin’ boy! Quit pissing me off!” he gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists.
The boy scoffed. “With that baby penis of yours? I refuse to believe that you are of the male species.”
“Don’t be an asshole.” Naruto warned. “And what were you doing in here anyway?” a jolt of curiosity drove him to ask. The boy casually shrugged. “I got lost walking to my first class today, then this cockroach started chasing me. I took shelter in this bathroom; I’ve never come out of here ever since.” he explained.
“Woah…” Naruto sighed in awe. “I feel you, man.” he nodded, as if he could relate. “My name’s Sai. What’s yours?” the boy promptly introduced himself.
“I’m Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki.” Naruto replied. “If you had trouble finding your class, then you’re new here, right?”
Sai nodded. “Yeah. They took me in as part of this No Kid Left Behind program.” he casually replied. Naruto’s eyes lit up. “Me too!” he exclaimed, excitedly. “Hey, since we’re both new, we should stick toge-”
“No.” Sai replied abruptly.
Naruto whimpered. “Aw, c’mon! How else can you make friends? Here, come with me -- I’ll introduce you to a guy who’s just like us.” he insisted and pulled on the collar of his sleeve. Sai frowned. “I’m not stupid like you.” he said, but allowed Naruto to drag him out of the bathroom.
-
-
-
Already on the verge of death by boredom, Haku found a large, white sports truck that was parked in the middle of the empty lot and fit himself comfortably inside, whistling to the tune of “Row, Row, Row, Your Boat”
Suddenly, he could hear Naruto calling out to him. Haku responded with a “I’m in the white truck, Naruto!” and he stood up and waved his hands in the air. Sai pointed in shock at the crazy kid who was flailing his arms around. “Is that the guy you were talking about?” he asked. Naruto looked in the direction he was pointing at and grinned. “Haku! I’ve recruited someone!” he exclaimed, obviously overjoyed.
Naruto dragged Sai closer and closer to the white truck and urged him to get in. “Are you sure about this?” Sai looked unsure. “This is someone else’s truck. What if we get into trouble?”
“Don’t be a pussy, Sai.” Naruto teased and hopped inside, making his seat next to Haku. Sai groaned and sat across from Haku and Naruto.
“I’m Haku Momochi.” Haku said, introducing himself. “And your name is Sai, if I’m not mistaken?”
“Correct.” Sai nodded. “I’m the other NKLB student. Pleased to meet you.” he bowed slightly. Naruto turned to Haku eagerly. “I met him in the bathroom earlier. I was thinking that the three of us could combine forces and take revenge on those guys!” he suggested. Sai arched a brow. “Revenge? You want to extract revenge on someone?”
Haku cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “Yeah. Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru publicly humiliated him and he wants to get back at them.” he wondered what could be going on in that mind of his. He looked mischievous, after all.
“I think I’d like to help you two.” Sai exclaimed, with a hint of a smirk on his lips. Then, he gestured for them to lean in, and he began to tell them, in a low voice, the plan that would begin the downgrade of Hidden Leaf Academy’s spotless status.
____________________________________________________
A /N: Third chappie!! I hope you like it. I’ll post the next chapter sometime next week, hopefully. I hope you enjoyed it, and please give me some feedback. Even if it’s short, it still makes me happy to know that I have a reason for continuing this fic. Look forward to the next chapter! (:
____________________________________________________
He finally made a friend -- and together, they were “Naruto and Haku” it should have been “Haku and Naruto” since Haku claimed that ‘H’ came before ‘N’ but Naruto was already on the verge of wetting himself; both on his cheeks and from out of his “peepee”
“Fine, Naruto!” Haku huffed, and folded his arms firmly over his chest. “Together, we are Naruto and Haku!” he said, in a tone that would satisfy his new friend. Naruto sniffled. “You mean it, Haku?”
“Sure.” Haku replied, grimly. “Just don’t pee here. Geez, you’re going to embarrass yourself on the first day of school-”
“I think Shikamaru, Kiba, and Sasuke took care of that already.” Naruto growled, baring his teeth. Haku rolled his eyes. “Well, hurry back. We have to come up with a plan before lunch is over.” he waved his hand lazily in the air, motioning for him to leave.
“I’ll be right back!” Naruto yelled over his shoulder as he headed quickly for the nearest bathroom. He stumbled down the hall as if he were drunk, but quickly spotted Tenten in front of her locker and went over to ask where the bathroom was when he decided that he couldn’t locate the bathroom himself.
“Tententententententententen-”
̶ 0;Naruto! Stop yelling!” Tenten winced. “What’s wrong?” she asked with a look of hesitation on her face. “Take me to the bathroom.” he simply replied. Tenten huffed haughtily, but attempted to point in the direction of the nearest bathroom when a boy nudged her shoulder and cut her off.
“It’s all the way at the end of this hall. You’ll see the janitor’s closet -- next to it, there should be the men’s restroom.” the boy replied, calmly. Tenten’s eyes widened.
Naruto bounced; his bladder feeling like it was going to explode, but he bowed politely and thanked the boy and headed down the hall. Tenten turned to her friend in shock. “But that’s the haunted one!” she pointed out.
“As if I didn’t know that already, Tenten.” he replied. Tenten paused and sighed with a smile. “You’re an evil monster, Gaara.” she teased. “You’re the one who influenced him to talk to Sasuke.” he reminded. “Which resulted in school-wide humiliation.” he added, shortly after.
-
-
-
Naruto spotted the janitor’s closet, and next to it; the bathroom. “Oh boy!” he cheered to himself, and ran inside. The bathroom was very big, and very clean; just as expected from an exclusive private school. The urinals were shiny and clean and were wide enough for a fat person to sit in. He liked it a lot.
He unzipped his pants and begun his business. “Ahhh…” Naruto sighed in relief. A few seconds into pissing, he felt like someone was standing behind him. It didn’t seem like anything at first, but he started to panic when he felt someone breathing down his neck.
“Everything’s gonna be all right~” Naruto sang nervously and he zipped up, proceeding to leave when he bumped into something.
Naruto screamed, his voice pierced through the walls of the bathroom and echoed throughout the entire school. In the hallway, heading towards the café facility, Tenten sickered after Gaara commented on how girly Naruto screamed.
“Keep your mouth shut, you big baby.”
Naruto immediately stopped and arched a brow. “What?” he snorted with an air of arrogance. Standing before Naruto, was a boy who was a few inches taller than he was. His hair framed his pale face and his face had a cold and distant expression.
“You can’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” the boy folded his arms over his chest. “Shall I present you with a dictionary? Do you want me to look up the word ‘vagina’ and compare it with yours?” he asked, rudely.
Naruto fumed. “I’m a freakin’ boy! Quit pissing me off!” he gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists.
The boy scoffed. “With that baby penis of yours? I refuse to believe that you are of the male species.”
“Don’t be an asshole.” Naruto warned. “And what were you doing in here anyway?” a jolt of curiosity drove him to ask. The boy casually shrugged. “I got lost walking to my first class today, then this cockroach started chasing me. I took shelter in this bathroom; I’ve never come out of here ever since.” he explained.
“Woah…” Naruto sighed in awe. “I feel you, man.” he nodded, as if he could relate. “My name’s Sai. What’s yours?” the boy promptly introduced himself.
“I’m Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki.” Naruto replied. “If you had trouble finding your class, then you’re new here, right?”
Sai nodded. “Yeah. They took me in as part of this No Kid Left Behind program.” he casually replied. Naruto’s eyes lit up. “Me too!” he exclaimed, excitedly. “Hey, since we’re both new, we should stick toge-”
“No.” Sai replied abruptly.
Naruto whimpered. “Aw, c’mon! How else can you make friends? Here, come with me -- I’ll introduce you to a guy who’s just like us.” he insisted and pulled on the collar of his sleeve. Sai frowned. “I’m not stupid like you.” he said, but allowed Naruto to drag him out of the bathroom.
-
-
-
Already on the verge of death by boredom, Haku found a large, white sports truck that was parked in the middle of the empty lot and fit himself comfortably inside, whistling to the tune of “Row, Row, Row, Your Boat”
Suddenly, he could hear Naruto calling out to him. Haku responded with a “I’m in the white truck, Naruto!” and he stood up and waved his hands in the air. Sai pointed in shock at the crazy kid who was flailing his arms around. “Is that the guy you were talking about?” he asked. Naruto looked in the direction he was pointing at and grinned. “Haku! I’ve recruited someone!” he exclaimed, obviously overjoyed.
Naruto dragged Sai closer and closer to the white truck and urged him to get in. “Are you sure about this?” Sai looked unsure. “This is someone else’s truck. What if we get into trouble?”
“Don’t be a pussy, Sai.” Naruto teased and hopped inside, making his seat next to Haku. Sai groaned and sat across from Haku and Naruto.
“I’m Haku Momochi.” Haku said, introducing himself. “And your name is Sai, if I’m not mistaken?”
“Correct.” Sai nodded. “I’m the other NKLB student. Pleased to meet you.” he bowed slightly. Naruto turned to Haku eagerly. “I met him in the bathroom earlier. I was thinking that the three of us could combine forces and take revenge on those guys!” he suggested. Sai arched a brow. “Revenge? You want to extract revenge on someone?”
Haku cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “Yeah. Sasuke, Kiba, and Shikamaru publicly humiliated him and he wants to get back at them.” he wondered what could be going on in that mind of his. He looked mischievous, after all.
“I think I’d like to help you two.” Sai exclaimed, with a hint of a smirk on his lips. Then, he gestured for them to lean in, and he began to tell them, in a low voice, the plan that would begin the downgrade of Hidden Leaf Academy’s spotless status.
____________________________________________________
A /N: Third chappie!! I hope you like it. I’ll post the next chapter sometime next week, hopefully. I hope you enjoyed it, and please give me some feedback. Even if it’s short, it still makes me happy to know that I have a reason for continuing this fic. Look forward to the next chapter! (: