Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Lessons In Maturity ❯ Bath ( Chapter 3 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Project 0506 
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 05.31.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 894 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Comedy | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 05.31.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 894 | Status: Work In Progress
A/n: Thanks to all who reviewed! And since two different people asked for this here's the warning.
DO NOT AT ANY TIME DURING THE PROGRESS OF THIS STORY DRINK OR OTHERWISE INHALE (dont want to know) ANY FORM OF LIQUID!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!
AJ and Evil Ursula: THANK YOU! MY FIRST REVIEWS!!!!!
The Judge: Just hang on...I have a very...very devious idea for everyone's beloved senseis! *kukukukukukukuku*
Riveria Sohma: I am please to report that Neji will have much more to freak out about before the 2 weeks are up!
Lol and Jadeking: Thank you, thank you *bows* You are much 2 kind.
Reject from the back of the bus: please please no more pop while u drink this! dont bust ur comp! o, and incidentally, I prefer to think of it as a sugar fic...sugar high! WHEE!
sasuke-latias: I'm of the opinion that out of the twelve gennin if anyone would have any idea what to do it would be sakura. so i made her a baby and sat back and watched the others flounder...ahh the fun of being an authoress on a sugar overdose...
Sono Sai has specially requested it...and so here it is: BATH TIME!! (YOSH! *stikes nice guy pose* On with the torture of the youth!)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He stared at her.
She stared back.
He blinked.
She blinked.
He sighed.
She splashed.
He muttered an obscenity.
She screamed.
He picked her up.
She screamed.
He put her down.
She screamed.
He offered her candy.
She screamed.
He calmly rose and repeatedly slammed his head against the wall.
"Naruto-baka! What are you doing!" Sasuke poked his head in through the doorway. "If she's unhappy, we lose points!" He looked at her. Sakura had stopped screaming and was staring at the frustrated Naruto.
"Well Sasuke-teme, if you would like to demonstrate how good you are at this..." Sakura, annoyed at being left out of the conversation, tilted her head back and let out her finest scream.
"Oi Naruto-baka, do that again."
Naruto looked at him and blinked. "Wha...?"
"Slam your head against the wall again." Naruto growled.
"I. Am. Not. Going. To..."
Do it." Sasuke said, calmly activating the sharingan. "Or I'll force you to. Either way you're going to do it. If it stops the crying..."
Reluctantly the fox-host sighed. "For quiet..." He reminded himself before slamming his head against the wall. A delighted Sakura cut the scream short and started giggling and clapping. "Kami-sama, why me?" His head connected with wood and was rewarded with shrieks of laughter from the pink-topped toddler. "Can I stop now?" Sasuke nodded.
"Just until she starts yelling again." The baby was momentarily distracted by the amazing phenomena that were her toes. She giggled and splashed in the middle of the bathtub which held about four inches of water. "So baka, any ideas?"
"None." The two just stood there. "She's not going to bathe herself ya know..."
A familiar tic pulled at Sasuke's eyebrow. "We've discovered our first problem...you have to be naked to bathe...and since Sakura is female neither of us plan to undress her..."
"You got that right!"
"Although...in your Sexy no jutsu you are technically female right? Why don't you..."
"HELL NO! My mind's still very masculine! I'm not bathing a naked girl, baby or not!" And so the two came up with a brilliant solution: Stare at her until the other gives in.
"Naruto, is there some jutsu we could use here? I don't exactly have very many ideas..."
"Nope...We could ask Tenten, Ino or Hinata?"
"I'm not asking Ino...I'd rather do the D ranked missons..."
"And Tenten and all those kunai..." Naruto shuddered. "That leaves Hinata... will we lose points for asking for help?" There was a rush of wind and a message attached to a kunai miraculously embedded itself next to Naruto's head. The message simply said 'YES, the power of youth must not be weakened by surrender! Fight through the adversity and bloom like a desert flower in the sun! Or you lose 10 points...and you don't have any points yet. YOSH! MY LEE WOULD HAVE A MILLION POINTS BY NOW OR HE WOULD RUN 400 LAPS AROUND THE VILLA...scribble scribble...Damn that Gai...yes, you'll lose points for shoving your parental duties on someone else.'
Sasuke snarled softly. "Well that destroys that idea.."
"Hey Sasuke-teme, if we leave her in there long enough all the dirt should just soak off right?"
"If she drowns we lose points."
"I don't think there's enough water in there to drown...in fact, I don't think there's enough water in there to bathe..."
"There's no way around it. One of us has to bathe her."
"Okay we'll toss for it! Heads I win, tails you lose."
The Uchiha's twitch picked up pace. "You really think I'm stupid, don't you?"
"If the shoe fits..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Five minutes later, Naruto sported a black eye, bloody lip and one screaming toddler. "Will Kill Kakashi-sensei..." He poured more water in the tub and proceeded to undress the loudly protesting baby. "Hey, it's not that bad. You can't even tell she's a girl!" For a moment he wondered if that was a bad thing, then decided that all babies probably look alike. He lowered her into the water...never noticing the glint in her eye that showed she would get REVENGE on the evil, evil creature that forced this foamy liquid upon her.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
There was peace in the house, and Sasuke was satisfied. He peered in the bathroom and was unable to hide a smirk. Sakura played happily with some random bubble. Naruto on the other hand sulked...at least, he was probably sulking. All that could be seen was the reddened bump sticking up out of the mountain of soap bubbles that covered his face. He was completely soaked. All around him lay various grooming objects, a testament to Sakura's aim.
"Sasuke-teme...next its your turn..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Things were relatively quiet in the Hyuuga and Yamanaka households. Tenten had forbidden the genius to come near Lee-chan. He had been happy to agree...until Tenten declared she was going to get a court order requiring a chaperone every time Neji visited his...son. Before Neji had the chance to retaliate, a kunai landed in the room. Kurenai's bold scrawl decalred: SUCK IT UP!
Ino boldly declared that she was NOT going to bathe Shikamaru. So, amid promises of a wonderful dinner, Chouji volunteered.
The Inuzuka household however...ran into quite a few problems...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hinata held Akamaru close as she cowered under the couch. Kiba had taken refuge under tha table. Shino-chan sat in the middle of the room, apparently oblivious to his 'parents' distress. Thousands of kikai swarmed the apartment, inhabiting every corner, driving the humans to the farthest corners of the house for refuge. "WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!"
"Um..Kiba-kun...Sh-shino is m-much smaller now, and the kikai p-probably d-don't have enough space in his b-body...m-maybe if w-we opened a window?"
Kiba jumped up and made a break for the window, racing to get there before the crazy kikai. The swarm wrapped around his foot and began to slowly drag him back. Frantically he struggled to free himself. "Run Hinata-chan, Akamaru! Save yourselves! Don't worry about me! Just go! Please, save yourselves! Ruuuuuunnnnnn......." He felt himself sinking below the waves of bugs. They encased his body. "No! I didn't want to go like this! Sorry Akamaru! I'll never be able to give you those bones I owe you! I'm sorry! I said your chew-toy fell into a ravine and was captured by sound nin, but I really hid it in the back yard by the flower garden! It was so shiny, I couldn't resist. Kakashi-san I stole your Icha-icha-paradise. I was curious! It's not true that it attacked by a pack of giant tigers! Kurenai-sensei..I ATE YOUR EXTRA DUMPLING!!! I couldn't resist! I was so hungry! I lied when I said it joined the ANBU!!! Tell Hinata-chan I love her! Nooooooooooo......" He blinked. He sat up and looked around to find the room devoid of bugs. "Eh?" Hinata pointed to the window. "How did you..."
"I walked."
Kiba scratched his head. "Oi, that was embarrassing...that never happened, okay?" Hinata agreed whole-heartedly.
"T-time for Shino-k-kun's bath..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kurenai and Gai observed Kiba and Hinata work together to give Shino a bath from their perch in the trees. Kakashi still hadn't showed up for the second shift.
"Ah Kurenai-chan, doesn't the spring of youth flow forth freely from the youthful hearts of the young lovers?" There was no response from his partner. He glanced over to find her glaring. "Kurenai, one must not squelch the flower of young love that longs to roam free in the hearts of youths!"
Kurenai simply growled. "I will kill him. And I was so proud when I found out!"
"Kurenai-chan?"
"THAT BAKA TOLD ME DUMPY GOT ACCEPTED TO THE ANBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
DO NOT AT ANY TIME DURING THE PROGRESS OF THIS STORY DRINK OR OTHERWISE INHALE (dont want to know) ANY FORM OF LIQUID!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!
AJ and Evil Ursula: THANK YOU! MY FIRST REVIEWS!!!!!
The Judge: Just hang on...I have a very...very devious idea for everyone's beloved senseis! *kukukukukukukuku*
Riveria Sohma: I am please to report that Neji will have much more to freak out about before the 2 weeks are up!
Lol and Jadeking: Thank you, thank you *bows* You are much 2 kind.
Reject from the back of the bus: please please no more pop while u drink this! dont bust ur comp! o, and incidentally, I prefer to think of it as a sugar fic...sugar high! WHEE!
sasuke-latias: I'm of the opinion that out of the twelve gennin if anyone would have any idea what to do it would be sakura. so i made her a baby and sat back and watched the others flounder...ahh the fun of being an authoress on a sugar overdose...
Sono Sai has specially requested it...and so here it is: BATH TIME!! (YOSH! *stikes nice guy pose* On with the torture of the youth!)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He stared at her.
She stared back.
He blinked.
She blinked.
He sighed.
She splashed.
He muttered an obscenity.
She screamed.
He picked her up.
She screamed.
He put her down.
She screamed.
He offered her candy.
She screamed.
He calmly rose and repeatedly slammed his head against the wall.
"Naruto-baka! What are you doing!" Sasuke poked his head in through the doorway. "If she's unhappy, we lose points!" He looked at her. Sakura had stopped screaming and was staring at the frustrated Naruto.
"Well Sasuke-teme, if you would like to demonstrate how good you are at this..." Sakura, annoyed at being left out of the conversation, tilted her head back and let out her finest scream.
"Oi Naruto-baka, do that again."
Naruto looked at him and blinked. "Wha...?"
"Slam your head against the wall again." Naruto growled.
"I. Am. Not. Going. To..."
Do it." Sasuke said, calmly activating the sharingan. "Or I'll force you to. Either way you're going to do it. If it stops the crying..."
Reluctantly the fox-host sighed. "For quiet..." He reminded himself before slamming his head against the wall. A delighted Sakura cut the scream short and started giggling and clapping. "Kami-sama, why me?" His head connected with wood and was rewarded with shrieks of laughter from the pink-topped toddler. "Can I stop now?" Sasuke nodded.
"Just until she starts yelling again." The baby was momentarily distracted by the amazing phenomena that were her toes. She giggled and splashed in the middle of the bathtub which held about four inches of water. "So baka, any ideas?"
"None." The two just stood there. "She's not going to bathe herself ya know..."
A familiar tic pulled at Sasuke's eyebrow. "We've discovered our first problem...you have to be naked to bathe...and since Sakura is female neither of us plan to undress her..."
"You got that right!"
"Although...in your Sexy no jutsu you are technically female right? Why don't you..."
"HELL NO! My mind's still very masculine! I'm not bathing a naked girl, baby or not!" And so the two came up with a brilliant solution: Stare at her until the other gives in.
"Naruto, is there some jutsu we could use here? I don't exactly have very many ideas..."
"Nope...We could ask Tenten, Ino or Hinata?"
"I'm not asking Ino...I'd rather do the D ranked missons..."
"And Tenten and all those kunai..." Naruto shuddered. "That leaves Hinata... will we lose points for asking for help?" There was a rush of wind and a message attached to a kunai miraculously embedded itself next to Naruto's head. The message simply said 'YES, the power of youth must not be weakened by surrender! Fight through the adversity and bloom like a desert flower in the sun! Or you lose 10 points...and you don't have any points yet. YOSH! MY LEE WOULD HAVE A MILLION POINTS BY NOW OR HE WOULD RUN 400 LAPS AROUND THE VILLA...scribble scribble...Damn that Gai...yes, you'll lose points for shoving your parental duties on someone else.'
Sasuke snarled softly. "Well that destroys that idea.."
"Hey Sasuke-teme, if we leave her in there long enough all the dirt should just soak off right?"
"If she drowns we lose points."
"I don't think there's enough water in there to drown...in fact, I don't think there's enough water in there to bathe..."
"There's no way around it. One of us has to bathe her."
"Okay we'll toss for it! Heads I win, tails you lose."
The Uchiha's twitch picked up pace. "You really think I'm stupid, don't you?"
"If the shoe fits..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Five minutes later, Naruto sported a black eye, bloody lip and one screaming toddler. "Will Kill Kakashi-sensei..." He poured more water in the tub and proceeded to undress the loudly protesting baby. "Hey, it's not that bad. You can't even tell she's a girl!" For a moment he wondered if that was a bad thing, then decided that all babies probably look alike. He lowered her into the water...never noticing the glint in her eye that showed she would get REVENGE on the evil, evil creature that forced this foamy liquid upon her.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
There was peace in the house, and Sasuke was satisfied. He peered in the bathroom and was unable to hide a smirk. Sakura played happily with some random bubble. Naruto on the other hand sulked...at least, he was probably sulking. All that could be seen was the reddened bump sticking up out of the mountain of soap bubbles that covered his face. He was completely soaked. All around him lay various grooming objects, a testament to Sakura's aim.
"Sasuke-teme...next its your turn..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Things were relatively quiet in the Hyuuga and Yamanaka households. Tenten had forbidden the genius to come near Lee-chan. He had been happy to agree...until Tenten declared she was going to get a court order requiring a chaperone every time Neji visited his...son. Before Neji had the chance to retaliate, a kunai landed in the room. Kurenai's bold scrawl decalred: SUCK IT UP!
Ino boldly declared that she was NOT going to bathe Shikamaru. So, amid promises of a wonderful dinner, Chouji volunteered.
The Inuzuka household however...ran into quite a few problems...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hinata held Akamaru close as she cowered under the couch. Kiba had taken refuge under tha table. Shino-chan sat in the middle of the room, apparently oblivious to his 'parents' distress. Thousands of kikai swarmed the apartment, inhabiting every corner, driving the humans to the farthest corners of the house for refuge. "WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!"
"Um..Kiba-kun...Sh-shino is m-much smaller now, and the kikai p-probably d-don't have enough space in his b-body...m-maybe if w-we opened a window?"
Kiba jumped up and made a break for the window, racing to get there before the crazy kikai. The swarm wrapped around his foot and began to slowly drag him back. Frantically he struggled to free himself. "Run Hinata-chan, Akamaru! Save yourselves! Don't worry about me! Just go! Please, save yourselves! Ruuuuuunnnnnn......." He felt himself sinking below the waves of bugs. They encased his body. "No! I didn't want to go like this! Sorry Akamaru! I'll never be able to give you those bones I owe you! I'm sorry! I said your chew-toy fell into a ravine and was captured by sound nin, but I really hid it in the back yard by the flower garden! It was so shiny, I couldn't resist. Kakashi-san I stole your Icha-icha-paradise. I was curious! It's not true that it attacked by a pack of giant tigers! Kurenai-sensei..I ATE YOUR EXTRA DUMPLING!!! I couldn't resist! I was so hungry! I lied when I said it joined the ANBU!!! Tell Hinata-chan I love her! Nooooooooooo......" He blinked. He sat up and looked around to find the room devoid of bugs. "Eh?" Hinata pointed to the window. "How did you..."
"I walked."
Kiba scratched his head. "Oi, that was embarrassing...that never happened, okay?" Hinata agreed whole-heartedly.
"T-time for Shino-k-kun's bath..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kurenai and Gai observed Kiba and Hinata work together to give Shino a bath from their perch in the trees. Kakashi still hadn't showed up for the second shift.
"Ah Kurenai-chan, doesn't the spring of youth flow forth freely from the youthful hearts of the young lovers?" There was no response from his partner. He glanced over to find her glaring. "Kurenai, one must not squelch the flower of young love that longs to roam free in the hearts of youths!"
Kurenai simply growled. "I will kill him. And I was so proud when I found out!"
"Kurenai-chan?"
"THAT BAKA TOLD ME DUMPY GOT ACCEPTED TO THE ANBU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"