Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Losing Naruto ❯ Confrontations ( Chapter 15 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Knock, knock, knock.

Sakura’s head whipped in the direction of her open door, hearing the faint knocking sound coming from downstairs. She had been hoping to get everything packed up before going to sleep. Her transfer to Suna would be final tomorrow, and she planned on leaving first thing in the morning.

Knock, knock, knock

“Damn it!” she cursed out loud, stomping her left foot.

Sakura was tired. She’d woken up at 5 am that morning to begin packing, and hadn’t stopped since. It was now dark outside, she had yet to eat, and her room was a disaster. Most of her clothes were packed, but she made sure to leave a few choices hanging in the closet. Everything else was either scattered around the room, or separated into piles, waiting to be put in boxes.

The thing that took up the most of her time was going through all of the stuff she had. Some of it was borrowed and had to be returned, some of it she decided to give away, and some of it she didn’t even remember owning in the first place.

Why couldn’t I have just sorted this crap out earlier.

I always do this.

Now look at the situation I’m in!

Knock, knock, knock

And they just aren’t gonna go away!

With one last frustrated stomp, she made her way to the door, hoping that the person wasn’t there anymore. She really didn’t feel like dealing with anyone tonight. Trying her best to calm down, she grabbed the knob and pulled the door open.

“Listen, I…” Sakura trailed off upon noticing the girl standing at her door, holding a small plate of rice balls in her arms. She was wearing her usual training clothes, watching Sakura timidly.

“Hinata…?” She asked in utter disbelief, watching the Hyuuga with her mouth wide open, not moving an inch.

Sakura’s head spun. She had no idea how she was going to deal with this. Her mind had been going over hundreds of different ways to explain herself, to apologize without sounding fake. In every scenario she had come up with, Hinata had never sought her out. She simply did not know how to deal with this, plain and simple.

“Hello, Sakura. How are you?”

Sakura blinked.

“Um, fine. Thanks. How are you?” She mentally kicked herself for sounding so stupid.

How do you think she is, you moron!

Hinata only smiled again, lowering her head just a bit, then picking it up. “I‘m glad. And I’m doing alright.”

“Good, that’s…good.”

Silence.

Hinata was biting her lip, looking down at the ground, then at the sky, then at the nearby bush. Sakura continued watching her curiously, still wondering why she was here.

Maybe she wants to fight or something?

With rice balls?

Right. Oh wait. Damn!

“Hinata,” Sakura suddenly called out, causing the Hyuuga to jump slightly out of shock. “I’m sorry, um -would you like to come in?”

She smiled softly, nodding once, and stepped into the house as Sakura moved to the side and motioned for her to enter. Closing the door behind the other girl, Sakura looked at the nearby clock, surprised to see that it was barely 7:56 pm. She felt like she had been awake for two weeks.

Taking a few steps into the living room, she saw Hinata walking around aimlessly, the plate of rice balls still in her arms.

“You can just set those down right there on that table.” Sakura offered, pointing to a low table in the middle of the living room that had cushions on all four sides.

“Alright.” She answered, sounding relieved.

After the rice balls were set down, both girls moved to either side of the small table, sitting down on the floor with their legs crossed beneath them. Sakura was inspecting her fingernails, while Hinata was biting her lip, not sure where to put her hands. She moved them from the table, to her lap, then to the table again, before finally deciding to rest them on her knees.

As the seconds went by, the tension became thick. Both girls would take turns glancing at each other, only to quickly look away. Sakura knew it was going to be awkward, and she wanted to settle it peacefully…but right now, she would even choose yelling over the deafening silence.

Sakura’s eyes fell on the rice balls, and with a small jolt she realized she hadn’t eaten anything all day. The rice balls looked irresistible, she could feel her stomach preparing to growl. As she moved her hand closer to grab one of the delectable rice balls, she noticed Hinata’s hand closing in on the exact same one.

Oh it just figures.

They both quickly pulled their hands back, and lowered their heads slightly. After a moment, Hinata and Sakura’s heads slowly rose, finally making eye contact. It was Hinata who spoke first.

“Uh, um, I’m sorry, Sakura- please. Take it.”

“No, it’s alright. You were going for it first.”

“No, please, have it. It’s-it’s fine.”

“Hinata - just take it.”

“That’s kind of you. But I-”

“Just take the rice ball, Hinata!” Sakura snapped, not leaving room for argument.

Hinata’s eyes widened slightly, before she quickly grabbed the rice ball, and began eating it slowly. Sakura sighed, grabbing one for herself. They ate in silence, not making eye contact once. After all of the food was finished, Sakura said her thanks and stood to get tea from the kitchen. She turned around, and took a few steps before Hinata’s small voice stopped her.

“Do you love him?”

Sakura stiffened, closing her eyes slowly, still not turning around to face Hinata. The room felt ten times smaller than before.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Sakura asked, cursing herself for not sounding as casual as she had hoped.

Please let her change her mind.

Please…!

“Do you love Naruto?”

Oh god.

It was becoming too much. She took a few steps, stopping before the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against the wall.. Sakura could feel her chest constricting slightly, her breath was quickening. Before she could lose herself completely, she focused on her chakra, taking calming breaths. She expected shyness, lots of beating around bushes. Not…this.

“I-”Sakura began, “I can’t discuss this right now, Hinata. I’m sorry.”

Before she could step into the kitchen, Hinata called out Sakura’s name, effectively stopping her. She slumped in defeat, bringing a hand up to rub her forehead slowly.

“Please. Just - just tell me what‘s going on.” Hinata sounded so small, so defeated. Sakura couldn’t help but wince.

Both of her hands were now hanging loosely at her sides, unmoving. She stood in front of the doorway for a few moments, back still facing Hinata, not saying a word. Slowly, she felt her body turning, listened to the sound of her bare feet hitting the hardwood floors. She watched the space across from Hinata get closer, and closer, until all she could do was sit down, and face the problem head on.

They were now making eye contact, watching each other across the small table that was in the middle of the living room. Neither of them moved. The tension was gone, replaced with something far more uncomfortable. It was calm. Both girls knew that it was a false calm. Like the one that comes before a devastating storm.

Finally, Sakura broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Hinata.”

“For what? I-I don’t even know what it is you’re apologizing for, Sakura.” Hinata sounded helpless.

Sakura took a deep breath. She had no idea where to start, and since apologizing wasn’t helping at this point, she figured she might as well just come clean. Not completely clean, of course. She would tell Hinata and Naruto the same thing.

“Alright. I’m going to Suna tomorrow. Actually, I’m transferring to Suna. For good.”

“Why?” Hinata stared at her in disbelief.

“I’m needed over there. Besides, I’m ready for a change in my life. Konoha, as much as I love it, isn’t where I need to be.”

“Oh.” She replied simply, looking down at her now, interlaced fingers that were resting in her lap. A moment passed by, then Sakura continued.

“That night-um-” Closing her eyes, she gulped slowly, praying for any strength possible. “at the, um-”

“Party?” Hinata supplied questioningly, watching Sakura with slightly raised eyebrows, her face etched with worry.

“Yes, party, thank you, Hinata.” Sakura smiled weakly, then continued. “At the party, I told Naruto about my plans to leave, and he - well, he didn’t take it very well.”

Hinata nodded, encouraging Sakura to continue.

“Then, he told me that I shouldn‘t go, that I…that I belong here. And of course, he tried convincing me to stay.” Sakura smiled warmly at the memory. Her smile faded slowly as she began to speak again.

“And we hugged, like friends do. Then, we just got lost for a moment. And we almost made a huge mistake.”

Sakura watched Hinata closely. Her head was bowed slightly, and she was fidgeting with a part of her Chuunin vest. She waited, and inwardly sighed in relief when the Hyuuga’s head rose.

“A…mistake?” She asked, sounding as if she didn’t believe the words at all, but wanted to.

“Yes, a big mistake. You’re my friend, right?”

Sakura smiled brightly when she saw Hinata nod quickly.

Thank god I haven’t ruined things…

“Well,” Sakura continued, “Naruto is my friend too. You both mean a lot to me, and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you.”

Hinata appeared to think about this for a moment.

“So…you and Naruto aren’t…?”

Sakura looked at Hinata’s hopeful face. In that instant, she imagined saying that she was interested. Imagined what being with Naruto would be like. Holding him, touching him, having him by her side. He could fulfill his dreams of being Hokage, and she would give him a family. It would be perfect.

Except…

I’m not graceful. Not like a Rokudaime’s wife should be. My hands are scarred, and weathered.

I couldn’t give him strong children. I have no special bloodline.

I’m just not good enough for him.

He deserves better.

With great effort, Sakura shook her head from side to side. Before she knew it, she was caught in a massive hug by the smaller Hyuuga. She stiffened for a moment, then relaxed. She was glad Hinata couldn’t see her face. Glad she couldn’t see the lone tear that escaped, as she let her composure slip, for just a moment. She wiped it away hastily as Hinata pulled back, beaming.

“Thank you!”

“For what?”

“Everything. You’ve…become my best friend. This past week you’ve supported me, and been there for me. And-” Hinata frowned, and Sakura continued to watch her. “-and I almost ruined that. Jumping to conclusions, causing a scene. I really hope everyone can forgive me. Especially you, Sakura.”

Sakura wanted to cry. Instead, she smiled.

“It‘s nothing! Don‘t worry about it, it’s all in the past. And don‘t you dare thank me for anything. That‘s what friends are for.” Sakura said sternly, before continuing in a teasing voice. “Just know that I expect to be the maid of honor at your guys’ wedding.”

Hinata stared at Sakura in confusion for a second, before realization set it. She blushed deeply.

“Sakura…stop teasing me…”

The pink haired Chuunin laughed. And just like that, things were back to normal. As they should be. After a bit more teasing, and two cups of tea, Hinata finally made her way home, waving goodbye as she walked down the street and out of sight.

Once Sakura was sure the girl was gone for good, she closed the large door, leaning against it. She let out a deep breath, sliding down until she was slumped on the floor, knees tucked under her chin. She looked around the room, not really seeing anything. Her mind was still going over the last few hours, trying to register all that had happened.

I guess Hinata’s taken care of for now.

All that’s left is Naruto.

I’ll make him understand. It’ll be fine.

I’ll leave, and Hinata will be here for him.

He’ll forget about me.

Because…

She could feel a stinging behind her eyes, and her bottom lip began to tremble. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, willing the tears away. She didn’t want to cry, not now.

Maybe it’s ok.

Now that I’m alone.

It’s ok to cry alone, right?

And on that thought, Sakura buried her face in her knees, and cried.


------------------------------------------------------ -

Where am I?

What the…?

Opening her eyes quickly, Sakura began taking in her surroundings. She was still in her quiet, dimly lit house. Only now, she was curled in a ball, laying next to her doorway. Apparently having fallen asleep crying.

How long..?

She stood up slowly, checking the clock on the nearby table. Sakura groaned. It read 9:32 pm, meaning she could have only been asleep for a few minutes. After debating weather or not to go back to sleep, she decided to finish packing.

To hell with it, I’ll sleep when I get there.

I have to leave to Suna in…about nine and a half hours.

Not like I have time to pack and then sleep anyways.

She began to make her way towards the stairs when she heard an impatient knock coming from the door a few feet away. She frowned, as far as she knew, she wasn’t expecting anyone. And if it were an emergency, they’d find their way in. Just as she was about to walk up the first step, she froze.

That chakra…

Well, at least I can get this over with.

The knocks started up again, this time louder and in rapid succession. Sakura rolled her eyes, opening the door to let him in. All she could see was a yellow blur, and before she knew it, the door was closed and she was pushed against the door.

“Naruto, what the hell-?”

“I figured it out!” He interrupted, smiling brightly.

“What are you-”

Before she could finish her sentence, blink, or even move, his face was inches away from hers. Sakura couldn’t move, and could barely think. She simply stared at him, eyes widening when she heard him utter two small words against her mouth.

“Don’t go.”

The next thing she knew, his lips were crashing onto hers. It wasn’t slow and gentle, but hard, desperate and filled with emotion. Sakura’s eyes were wide, she had yet to move. Her feelings were telling her that this was right. That if she would only put her arms around him, everything would be fine. She wouldn’t have to cry alone anymore.

This was what she wanted. This is what she needed. Him.

But something was still keeping her from responding to his kiss. Something else was fighting it’s way to the surface of her hazy thoughts. It was telling Sakura that this wasn’t right. That it wasn’t ok, and if she allowed this to continue, something terrible would happen.

But he’s here with me…that’s all that matters.

Pushing all thoughts to the back of her mind, Sakura finally allowed her eyes to close. As she was bringing her hands up to rest against his chest, one tiny voice broke through to the surface. A voice she couldn’t ignore, saying things she couldn’t forget.

‘You’ve become my best friend.’

Sakura’s hands stopped right before touching his chest. In one motion, she pushed him hard, sending him stumbling backwards. He was watching her intently, and she could see as well as hear his rapid breathing. His expression changed from one of confusion to one of pain as he watched what she did next. Bringing the back of her hand to her mouth, Sakura rubbed it roughly against her lips, as if cleaning something dirty.

This is what I have to do.

You’re doing it for him, Sakura.

Do it for him.

Making herself look as angry as possible, Sakura took a deep breath, silently praying for all the strength she could muster. She clenched her fists tightly, readying herself.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Naruto?!” Sakura managed to make herself sound furious. She would have congratulated herself if it hadn’t hurt so much.

She almost faltered, watching him cringe as she yelled. He looked lost for a moment, opening and closing his mouth as he watched her.

“I’m-I’m sorry.” His voice was weak.

Keep going Sakura.

“I didn’t ask for an apology.” Her voice was cold. “I asked what the hell you thought you were doing. What made you think you had the right to do that?”

His head lowered, whether in embarrassment or misery, Sakura couldn’t tell. So she kept going, furiously stifling all of her feelings, all of the pain and the sympathy that was threatening to tear her apart.

“Talk to me!” She yelled, and was shocked to see his head quickly snap up. His expression was no longer one of shock or confusion. He looked every bit determined, and she almost crumpled under the sheer weight of his gaze. Sakura knew that face.

“I’m not letting you go.” His words were simple, but laced with determination.

You have to.

“What? Let?” She asked incredulously. “Naruto, you’re my friend, not my father!”

He didn’t back down.

“Exactly. I’m your friend, and call me selfish or whatever, but I want you to stay with me, here in Konoha. This is where you belong!” He was almost yelling, those blue eyes Sakura loved so much were full of emotion.

But she refused to back down. She knew what she had to do. For better or for worse, her decision was made.


“I think I can decide that for myself.” She replied coldly, crossing her arms.

For a moment, neither of them moved or said anything. Then slowly, he began to shake his head in disbelief.

“Have you actually forgotten so soon? Forgotten everything -everything you said to me about being scared and losing me, and then how we almost…what was that about, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura’s mind scrambled frantically for a moment, before quickly coming up with an answer. The same one she gave Hinata. Only this time, she knew saying it would hurt a hundred times more.

“That was a mistake.” She answered, her tone devoid of any emotion whatsoever. “I got caught up in the moment, and forgot myself. I‘m sorry if you got the wrong idea.”

“But,” Naruto began desperately, the determination slipping from his tone. “Then, then what about everything you said, huh? About not wanting to lose me - was that a lie?”

Sakura sighed.

“It wasn‘t a lie.” She answered truthfully. “You’re my best friend, and when I found out you were going to become the Hokage I felt…lost. For the first time, it was like you weren’t Naruto anymore. You were the Rokudaime.” She did nothing to cover the pain in her tone.

Naruto took a few steps towards her, but before he could reach her, she held one hand out to stop him. He looked from her hand to her eyes, silently questioning her.

“But I’ve found myself Naruto. I belong in Suna. And you -” Sakura‘s voice began to tremble against her will “-you will make a great Hokage. I‘ll miss you, and I love you, but…not in the way you want me to. I’m so sorry.”

Sakura watched his face fall, saw those beautiful blue eyes instantly overflow with sadness. It made her want to cry. He slumped his shoulders slightly, biting his lower lip before lowering his head. And she could almost hear his heart breaking. She knew exactly how it felt, since hers was shattering at the same time.

Forgive me.

She took a few slow steps, moving closer to him. Once she was a couple feet away, she lifted his chin slightly to meet his gaze. Sakura could see the beginning of tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to break her resolve.

“This isn’t the end though,” She began in a shaky voice, still raw with emotion. “We can still write, and be friends, and I’ll try to visit you as much as I can. It’ll be okay. You’ll be ok.”

Naruto shook his head, and she smiled reassuringly, fixing the stray yellow hairs that fell into his eyes. Cupping his cheek, she moved her thumb to gently rub those faint whisker-like scars she loved so much. He closed his eyes at the contact, a single tear fell down his cheek.

“You will. You’re the strongest person I know Naruto. Always have been.”

He opened his eyes, and she was saddened to see even more tears threatening to fall.

“I’m-” He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the trembling in his voice. “I’m gonna miss you Sakura-chan. A lot.”

“I know...”

I can’t do it anymore.

With that thought, Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as she wept uncontrollably. He quickly brought his arms up, holding her close. She could feel his body shaking slightly against hers, and could hear the occasional sniff as he rubbed her back soothingly.

She didn’t know how long they had been standing there, comforting each other in the dimly lit room. And it didn’t matter. He held her the entire time. His presence was soothing, and made the pain she was feeling a bit less unbearable. Sakura relaxed, deciding that just for now, she could fool herself into thinking everything would be ok.

As her sobs died down, she could feel the last of her energy draining. The mental and physical exhaustion hit her like a wave. Sakura could hear his voice asking her something from far away, but could only make out the words “time” and “morning”. As he pulled away, she felt herself falling.

The last thing she remembered was being caught by something warm, before blacking out completely.


------------------------------------------------- ----

Sakura slowly woke up with a loud yawn. She quickly stretched, feeling a slight tingle in her body, waking her up completely. Her blanket was pulled over her head, and she huddled into a ball, enjoying the warmth her it provided for her. As the haze in Sakura’s mind started to clear, she tried to remember exactly how she had gotten in bed in the first place.

Everything had gone black.

The last thing I remember is falling.

But then…

He caught me.

Sakura smiled sadly, realizing that Naruto must have put her in bed. And, being the perfect gentleman that he is, hadn’t tried changing her clothes while she was asleep. She was glad that being around Jiraiya hadn’t effected him that much. Laughing softly, she huddled deeper into the warm mattress.

In the back of her mind, something kept telling her to get up. She had been trying to ignore it, but it was persistent, and kept pushing itself to the forefront of her thoughts.

Then it clicked.

Suna.

Damn.

Well, the sun isn’t even all the way up yet. I’ve got time.

Only…

There‘s something I…

“Packing!” Sakura yelled, throwing her eyes open. She threw the blanket off, and prepared to jump out of bed, but what she saw made her freeze in shock.

Oh…my…god.

Everything was packed. All of the boxes were neatly stacked in the far corner, they were even labeled and sealed. She could barely believe her eyes. As she looked to her bedside table, she spotted a small handwritten note. Reaching a shaky hand out, she picked it up and brought it closer.

----------------

Sakura-chan,

Damn, you’re lazy!

I packed you’re stuff for you last night after you fell asleep, (more like fainted!) so you owe me big time!

Just messing around, consider it my going away present or something. I wish I could see you off, but the old hag wanted to start “Hokage Training” early today. Geez, she never gets off my back!

Have fun in Suna, and you’d better write!!!!!

Love,

Naruto

PS: One last time. PLEASE STAY?

(and don’t show this letter to the Tsunade-baba. She had problems with being called old, so she’ll probably hit me again!)

----------------

Sakura laughed softly, taking a long look around the room. It all seemed so real now. She would be gone in a few hours, living a different life as a shinobi of the sand. She knew it was the right decision, and knew everyone would be better off. This way, she could help people, and be somewhere that she was actually needed.

And while she would miss Naruto, she knew he would be better of as well. He still loved her, that much she was certain of, and she loved him too. But with her gone, he could move on, learn to love someone else. Someone worthy of him.

Sakura smiled sadly, carefully folding the note and stuffing it in the pocket of her loose pants. Her room looked so bare, all that was in it now was the furniture, her blankets and the boxes. All of it, her wall hangings, pictures, books, weapons…even her clock was packed. She was actually surprised he left the blankets. Sakura had to hand it him, he was extremely thorough when it came to packing.

But wait.

He didn’t.

Not the rest of my..

She was almost afraid to look, but leaned over anyways, peering into her closet. Which was of course, now empty. And sure enough, on the boxes at the very bottom of the pile were the large red words reading “Sakura-chan’s Clothes”.

He did.

She blinked once.

Then twice.

And then she screamed.

“THAT MORON!”