Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ My Hitate ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

 

Sakura collapsed shakily onto her… her parent's bed. They would not mind, they were in their eternal resting place in a bed of cold dirt. Cold dirt. Her parents, the ones who brought her into the world and raised her for sixteen years before she had left, did not even get a proper burial.

 

Of course, no one else did, either. After everything had… gone downhill, there simply was not enough room or time to bury all that had died. So they were buried where they dropped, but the blowing ash and dirt, displaced by the fighting going on around them. Then again, her parents had gotten off lucky. They had chosen not to fight. They had chosen to give in. They watched as their village, the home of Harunos for the hundred years it had been in existence, had been mutilated and warped into a breeding ground for scum and filth by one of its own villagers.

 

`No, not one of u…' Sakura began to think angrily, but she could not even get the word across her mind. … `one of them. He's a traitor, a murderer. He's brought betray to a level his brother could never even imagine.'

 

Yes, she was thinking about him. Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha. Her childhood friend, her crush, her most hated enemy. Even though she had promised herself she would stop thinking about him, because thinking about him meant that he won. How could she not? Everyday she saw his handsome face and everyday she wished to duck behind a trashcan to empty her stomach in revulsion.

 

But she could not and she didn't. He had her trapped now, like a fly… no. If Shino were here, she would get a lecture on how resilient, how strong the fly was. She was a butterfly, a moth, her wings barely dried from her long, pusillanimous hibernation. And the spider watched her with red eyes.

 

Each day, as he saw her enter the same room as him, he would smile. She once longed so desperately for that smile to be turned her way, it made her chest hurt with the desire of it. Now as his eyes caressed her emancipated form in a way only a lover should be allowed, and his smile widened to unnatural lengths, all she wished to do was kill him for it.

 

But she could not. She could kill any of his underlings without a second thought, to the point that they were not human, but pieces of meat. He was different. Something would hold her back, just as it had held everyone else back. But there was another reason. She did not want to die fruitlessly. Yes, she would gladly die and take him with her, but that would not be the case should she gather the valor to do the deed. She might have been one of the strongest kunochi the Leaf Village had ever seen, but still even she was no match for him. Only one could do it, could handle it, and he was in hiding. Or dead. She had stopped telling herself that he might be otherwise long ago. There was no point in hoping when the chances were so slim that even the most hopelessly optimistic person would sigh and give up.

 

Sasuke had gotten what he wanted, unimaginable power, and had killed his brother. He had achieved his goals, and more. But when she knew him, at least when she first knew him ten years ago, this was not what he wanted, not this way.

 

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It seemed that Sakura had barely fallen asleep when the city alarm cut into her slumber, piercing her brain with the sharp bird's call of a noise. Groaning tiredly, she forced her aching limbs to push herself up. She hadn't felt this tired since she was training with Tsundae, and even then she was never this cold.

 

Every man, woman and child woke up at four, before the sun rose over the city wall. This was the exact time he used to get up. Even if the child did not have school (for the parents always had work), they were woken up. Uchiha-sama, as he wished to be called, said that it gave the children extra time to train.

 

Sakura walked down the narrow hall and past the hole in the wall, from where a small paper bomb had exploded during the invasion. Now that buildings were falling apart and people who technically owned homes were more homeless than the people sleeping in the cardboard boxes at night, no one bothered to repair his or her houses. For most, it was a useless venture, with all the fighting that took place inside the city. For a few, those who had more information that her, it made it all the more easy to disappear.

 

Sakura stared into her cracked mirror with disgust. Her bright green eyes had dulled to an almost gray. Her pink hair, which now brushed her shoulders in broken straw ends, greasily stuck to the sides of her face. Her hitate was long gone, all Leaf Village hitates were. Her cheeks were sunken in and clothes were tattered. Her fingernails were dirty and her hands forever stained. Along her neck, an evil tattoo that looked something like a chain stretched. A crack in her mirror could not hide her ugliness.

 

Fighting had not caused this crack. Sakura had stabbed at her reflection with a kunai a few days after… they had left. She had screamed at herself. “Bitch! Coward!” her neighbors could hear her and, apparently, so had he. She had put the kunai to her wrist, a grim smile twisting itself onto her then still-full face.

 

But a hand, a clean pale hand had grabbed her. “Now, now. Can't have that, can we?” his hot breath slithered into her ear like the snake its master was. She shivered as his arm wrapped around her abdomen, not with the excitement, but with coldness in his touch. It was as if blood no longer coursed through his veins. “Sakura, how could you kill yourself? I thought you were braver than that.” That had done it. That had blown away what was left of the insanity… or sanity, depending on one's perception. The kunai had fallen from her nerveless grasp, into his waiting palm.

 

He had held onto her for a long time. He gently fingered the kunai, as if in deep thought. He had whispered things to her, about Kakashi, about Naruto. She could not remember now if they were just spiteful words, or if he had been asking her where they had gone. It did not matter; she did not know. When she had asked any of them, they responded with “If you do not know, then they can not force it out of you.” When minutes or hours had gone by and she had said nothing, he frowned and whispered to her again. And then he bit her.

 

And she was where she was today, standing in front of a mirror, wishing for that kunai she had no nerve to use. Wishing that she had taken it and twisted it into his heart.

 

She ran her fingers through her hair and left the house. As she walked the dirt roads that so long ago she walked with Sasuke and Naru… the image of a laughing face floated in her head. She stopped. Before her, was an older version of that face, though it no longer smiled. He was serious and sad.

 

“Don't you worry, Sakura. We'll be back soon. Believe it!” He chuckled the last part out, knowing how much she hated it. He gently cupped her chin and leaned forward.

 

Sakura closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was standing alone in a dirt road. “Naruto.” She whispered quietly.

 

That had been her good-bye to the blonde haired Kyubbi master. He had been there, and an instant later, he was gone. He and everyone else who had survived had gone, and left her and anybody else like her. Those who were not strong enough to part with this place their families called home for generations. The only free ones left from the Third and the Fifth's reigns were herself and Hinata. The rest had perished or moved on. They had promised they would come back, would take back their village from the turncoat, and here she was, two years later, alone except for the pieces of lonely debris in the street. She sighed and bowed her head, and walked along.

 

As she got closer to the center of the city, instead of getting better, as one would expect, the city got shoddier. People walked the streets with drawn faces that would have made people in the Wave Village look downright cheerful.

 

Her stomach jerked as she saw the soaked-in bloodstains that might have been Chogi's and Shinkamaru's fathers. Ichikaguke's or his daughter's. Kurenai's or Asuma's. Or both together. They had died fighting the final onslaught, side by side. It couldn't have been Gai's. He was driven from the sky to the top spire of the Hokage's tower by three strong Sound ninja and his rotting corpse remained there, until it disappeared mysteriously. No one was absolutely sure what had happened; one night it was there, the next, gone. But the next day there were also three freshly dug graves next to the Third and Fifth's graves and three names added to the KIA stone. When Sakura visited it, she was sure she heard, “We're even,” from the shadows. She had smirked. Even with one leg, Kakashi was as fast as ever.

 

She swallowed hard as she passed the broken window of Yammato's. Inside, the shards of once intricately designed vases were smashed and flowers that would turn to dust if a human's clumsy fingers were to handle them littered. Her face wrinkled into a snarl as she looked at the only not shattered vase. It had been Ino's favorite, an engagement gift from Shikamaru to her. Some sadist or another had filled it with Ino's blood long ago and placed leaves into it. Her body had disappeared, but that stain halfway up the crystalline glass immortalized her memory.

 

Having her fill of greif for the day, she ran, tears mixing with dirt behind her. People saw a pink streak and thought nothing of it. Everyday people went insane and thought they could run for it, but they were always captured, tortured, branded traitor and waited in a public cell until execution day.

 

But Sakura was not running away from the village. No, that was impossible now. She was trapped like so many others. She cringed as she saw a small Hyugga run down the street. He was too young to remember anything from before this. Too young to remember the good times, the Hokages of past, or even the fate-worshipper brother of his.

 

Neji had gone with them, of course. He urged poor Hinata to come, but to no avail. She was trapped more literally than Sakura. ANBUs watched her every move like hungry vultures watched a dying desert animal. She was forced to raise all of her clan members on a strict regimen, the children's worse than the adults'. She had to watch as her clan fell away from her.

 

Sakura slowed down, her chest hurting with the sudden exercise forced on her body without the nutrients to fill the need. After a brief hesitation, she entered the Hokage Tower. As she walked in, young Konohamaru handed her a hitate. She barely looked at the young defeated man as she stifled a sob with her hand as she tied it to keep her hair back. She felt a tiny prickle on her neck, running its way through her body. She could feel Uchiha-sama's smug satisfaction.

 

She had thrown the hitate away last night, declaring it would be the night she gave up the damned village for one much more suited to her lifestyle choice. And her parents'. But just as she had taken a kunai to her chest, her throat began to constrict painfully. Her hand had slipped and she had cut herself shallowly. A threatening presence had been felt in the back of her mind, and she took the hint. Uchiha-sama was everywhere. Then Sakura had gone to sleep, the scar that would be on her chest already beginning to pucker unattractively.

 

Dismally she walked up the steps to the Hokage's office, bumping shoulders with others who had to get to the upper floors. The Third and Fifth had both chosen their offices from many, but both were bathed in sunlight. Not this Hokage, though. He chose an office in the heart of the tower. It wasn't beautiful, but it was effective. There were stairwells and secret trapdoors that allowed him to use it at his disposal. It also allowed him to sneak up on whoever was in the study.

 

She entered the room, which looked as interesting as a picket fence, and took a spot next to a young Hyugga. The entire room's perimeter was given to ANBU level shinobi. They were the Hokage's elite guard. Most of them were Hyuggas trained to love their Hokage, even if he was a false one.

 

There was a faint pop! and Sasuke was sitting at his desk, already writing. He had never picked up Kakashi's quiet flare for popping up impressively with big clouds of smoke and acting as if it was nothing. What Sauske did was actually nothing, and he had no reason to act. Sakura mentally glared, but kept her face placid and unresponsive. She wished for one of the masks that the Hyuggas were allotted so she could wear her emotions without the fear of retribution.

 

Sakura watched Sasuke for a few minutes. He had not changed at all; he still looked like a teenager, and probably would for the rest of his life. He brushed some figures onto the paper slowly. She did not belong there, not really, anyway. Her unmasked face and uncloaked body told anyone as much. If someone was to ask, Sasuke would tell them that she was his personal healer, which was true, in a way. Anytime he so much as got a paper cut, he would smile oily at her and make her waste charka to heal it. But when they were alone, his black eyes would bore into her green and tell her the real reason. He was torturing her, holding every confession of love over her head and telling her that she was his to do with as he wished.

 

Sasuke would not look at her, not now. He would wait and send the Hyuggas out. Then he would mock her for trying once again to leave this miserable existence she called life behind. He would tell her to wait and she would soon have everything she wanted, because he too, had to wait and move through the ranks when he was with Orochimaru. She knew the entire speech by heart and neither dreaded nor looked forward to what was coming next. She quickly became bored, so she did whatever she was doing something unproductive. She thought of them.

 

 

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The sun was setting, turning the ground into liquid pools of fire. Sakura leaned heavily on her shovel, exhausted. Others were standing or sitting in the area around her. Lee patted Neji on the back as they stood over TenTen's grave. Shino offered Kiba some water as the Inuzuka heir patted a huge dog with an eye patch. His sister, Hanna, had fought fiercely and had taken down many with her, but had died just an hour ago from a wound Sakura could not heal.

 

Numbly Sakura watched the sun, not being able to look anywhere else for the overwhelming sadness. There were no markers on the graves, just upturned spaces in the ground.

 

Kakashi approached her, hobbling on the crude crutch Shikamaru had made for him. His right pant's leg was tied just below the kneecap and Sakura had to try hard not to wince. It was hard to see one's idol destabilized so. He clasped a hand on her shoulder tiredly. She did not look at him, but she listened to what he had to say; he was the only wise voice in these times.

“We've finished here.” He said quietly. His hitate was loosely tied around his neck. All of them had refused to abandon them, but he now had to keep his eye uncovered all of the time. Sakura wished she hadn't lost hers, but it had been torn from her hair, and at the time, her life seemed more important. Kakashi glanced sideways at her before turning his attention back to the sun. “We're leaving soon.”

 

Her throat constricted and she felt all eyes on her. “I know.” She managed to croak out.

 

The eyes turned away from her, understanding. Her voice had said it all. Tears sprung to her eyes as a blonde head turned away.

 

“Sakura, it's fine. Besides, we need some people in here for when we return.” Kakashi said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze before hobbling away from her back to Neji, who was having a bit of hard time.

 

A few minutes later, the road drained of people. They jumped away to the forest, some leaving behind wet trails of tears. Shino had sent a butterfly Sakura's way, a goodbye that made Sakura regret her choice, but cemented her even more firmly to the ground. Finally, she was alone except for Naruto. She felt like she was going to start sobbing soon, if he did not leave her right then. She couldn't bear this quiet, shameful goodbye any longer.

 

Suddnely she was enveloped in warmth, and her face was nestled against something soft. She looked up, and saw Naruto's eyes shut tight against what she knew to be tears. She very nearly smirked with nostalgia. Even though his face had angled slightly and he had lost his baby-fat, he still was that twelve-year-old kid yelling that he would be Hokage, and would cry even when his biggest rival was dieing.

 

The hug lasted a minute before Naruto stepped away, an entire foot from her, unsure of what Sakura's reaction would be. She gave his hand a squeeze before it slipped away from hers, to his side. He smiled half-heartedly.

 

“Keep your spirits up, Sakura. We'll be back soon and we'll take back this village. Together.” Naruto said seriously. He looked her in the eye in a way that was meant to tell Sakura that he expected her with him on the front line when the time came. “And don't you worry, Sakura. We're going to be back soon.” He said this with such fierce conviction that Sakura knew that he was nervous and had no idea when they would be back. “Believe it!” He chuckled the last part out, knowing that as children it annoyed Sakura to no end. She felt something under her chin, and she looked up, to be met by his soft lips. The kiss had lasted all of three seconds, and moments later, he was gone.

 

 

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“Sakura.” His slimy voice reached Sakura's ears and she felt like she had been punched in the gut as she hurtled back to Earth.

 

She looked around. The ANBUs were gone. She was alone with him. She stiffened, as if ready to take a blow. He lifted a hand and curled a finger towards himself. Her stomach clenched and did a back flip at the same time. Sakura silently glided across the floor, and sat with her legs curled across from the Hokage. Her eyes were cast down, away from his. She was tense.

 

Sasuke steepled his fingers and looked at Sakura with a small, sadistic smile. “Now, Sakura. Do you know why I asked you here?”

 

Sakura grit her teeth and summoned what little courage remained in the fractured corners of her strained mind. “To torture me.”

 

Sasuke let out a poisonous, honey dipped chuckle in his throat. “To torture you, Sakura? Now why would I do that?”

 

“Because you're sick.” Sakura raised her eyes to his. “Because you're vile. Because you hate anything you can't have and for that you take over it and beat the innocent. Because you're just like your brother.” She spat the last part out and bared her teeth.

 

Sasuke was silent for a moment. Sakura dared to look at him. Her eyes widened when she realized that he literally shook with anger. His Sharigan was activated. Sakura was truly scared now. He had beaten her, tortured her mentally, and done everything within his capabilities and others' but he had never, not once, used his Sharigan on her.

 

He hit her, across the cheek. She flew across the room, hitting her head against the hard wood door. She slumped across the wall, her right arm swung crazily over her chest and her pink hair falling across her face, with her eyes closed. She wanted to stay like. Desperately, she wanted to stay like that. But he was approaching, his footsteps vibrating through the floor and tickling her cheek.

 

He picked her up by the shirtfront and she opened her eyes halfway. She saw her own weak, pathetic reflection through his blood red eyes. His pupils dilated slightly and the red drained from his eyes. His hand shook and Sakura opened her eyes wider.

 

Sasuke had gotten paler and now he was shaking all over, so much so that Sakura could feel the tremors through her shirt. His breath had shortened, but only one who had known him as long as Sakura could recognize it. He tossed her away from him. She caught herself on the door, and watched as he backed away.

 

“Get out of my sight.” He hissed.

 

Sakura's hand felt for the doorknob and she slipped out of the room. She ran from the room, the Hokage, and the tower. She fled from Hinata, the memories, and the blood drenched streets. Hell, she fled from her own village, the very one that she had never been able to before. She had summoned up her courage and had left.

 

She had made the great Sasuke Uchiha realize that he was worse than his brother.

 

But at the cost of her home.

 

She fell in the middle of the forest and didn't get up, finally allowing her tired bones a rest. Finally, groaning, she sat herself up and took out her kunai. She put it trembling to her wrist, scratching herself shallowly a few times. She paused, the knife a few millimeters from the thin flesh of her wrist, her eyes slowly changing. She took the kunai to her head and cut away the hitate on her head. It fell on the green forest floor.

 

She glared at the hitate for a few minutes before taking the kunai to the metal, cutting a long, thick line through the sound and leaf symbol. “Never again.” She muttered. She picked it up again and tied it onto her forehead, where anyone who met her could see it.

 

Then, her courage, which she had two years ago in abundance, returned as if it had never left, like a wayward cat. She stood on strong legs and walked forward, through the forest. She walked, bruised and beaten, noble as any queen. She walked, thorns tearing at her ragged clothes, stepping as lightly as a bird, her heart finally free. She walked with a hitate with a scratch through it, a traitor's hitate. My Hitate.