Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Random Naruto Episodes ❯ Episode 1: The Akatsuki Meeting ( Chapter 1 )

Random Naruto Episode 1: The Akatsuki Meeting

 

 

Somewhere in the Land of Fire…

The Akatsuki hideout…

New York City…

Japan.

 

 

Akatsuki Leader: We are at the final stage of my evil plan. A plan so evil, I didn't feel like sharing it till somewhere in the Shippuuden season!

 

Sasori: So, you're basically saying that we had to wait this long just to hear the damned plan? You forced everyone to watch that huge gap of 30 episodes of stupid fillers and not tell them about the plot until now?

 

Akatsuki Leader: Evil, isn't it?

 

Sasori: …Damn you're brilliant.

 

Deidara: And to make things more evil, all you do is show up as a rainbow outline with spiky hair and swirly eyes.

 

Tobi: I think he looks pretty!

 

Deidara: Shut up, Tobi.

 

Tobi: Is your name Rainbow Fantastic Man?

 

Akatsuki Leader: …No.

 

Tobi: Why not?

 

Akatsuki Leader: Because it isn't.

 

Tobi: Why?

 

Akatsuki Leader: …Because I say so, that's why. Now quite all this bickering, we need to get down to business. We need to figure out a way to capture the Kyuubi.

 

Deidara: We wouldn't have needed to figure this out if Kisame and Itachi had kidnapped him when he was still a punk kid.

 

Kisame: Hey, you weren't there! You didn't see how ridiculous he looked. I mean the kid was wearing an orange jumpsuit for crying out loud. He looked like an orange that fell off a tree.

 

Tobi: I like oranges!

 

Kakuzu: Who doesn't?

 

Hiden: I don't.

 

Deidara: Well of course you don't. You drink people's blood for god's sake. I mean, what are you exactly? You're like an obsessed emo religious vampire wannabe that likes the feeling of death.

 

Kakuzu: Don't forget his make-up.

 

Hiden: It isn't make-up! It's the marks of my religion, Joshin!

 

Deidara: Sure it is.

 

Hiden: It's true! And you call me emo? What about Itachi? He cries blood!

 

Itachi: It wasn't blood. I was eating a hamburger, and ketchup squirted in my eye. Besides, at least I don't play with Playdoh.

 

Deidara: It's clay! And they're pieces of art!

 

Itachi: Playdoh, clay, what's the difference? Oh yea, they both look ridiculous when made into explosive little birds. No it couldn't have been something scarier like a dragon or a fifty-foot tall Teletubbie. No, it had to be a bird.

 

Deidara: What about the crows you use in your genjutsus, Itachi?

 

Itachi: That's different.

 

Deidara: how?

 

Itachi: They're real imaginary birds, and black.

 

Hiden: Emo.

 

Kisame: Hey, at least he isn't as emo as Sasuke.

 

Somewhere in somewhere of somewhereville…

 

Sasuke: *Sitting in a corner* No one understands me. I'm the best! I want pudding and Orochimaru won't give it to me! It's not fair. He doesn't understand! Nobody understands! I want pudding!

 

Orochimaru: Kabuto, is Sasuke still in his corner?

 

Kabuto: I'm afraid so. He refuses to come out until he gets pudding.

 

Orochimaru: Fine, get him his damn pudding. And once he has his pudding, I'll train him to be the most prettiest emo boy in the world! More beautiful than Sesshomaru from Inuyasha! Ku ku ku ku.

 

~*~

 

Itachi: *shivers*

 

Akatsuki Leader: What is the matter, Itachi?

 

Itachi: I had a strange feeling that my brother might become more popular than me. And the man who'll make him popular is an anime version of Micheal Jackson with a stupid laugh.

 

Akatsuki Leader: Come now, Itachi. He cannot possibly become more popular. You're better dressed!

 

Deidara: Which reminds me, who came up with our outfits? Did somebody hire Elton John to design them? We've got long black coats with red “clouds”, a purple one-piece suit underneath with fishnets, painted fingernails and toenails, and we wear rings. To top it all off, we've got hats with bells that jingle as we walk! We look more ridiculous than the Power Rangers. And they wear helmets!

 

Kakuzu: …I like that show…

 

Akatsuki Leader: Shut up! All of you! We must come up with a plan to trap the Jinchuuriki without getting any more Akatsuki members killed.

 

Deidara: Wait a minute. Why is Sasori here? Shouldn't he be dead?

 

Sasori: Shouldn't you know by now? With anime, anything's possible. With all the fan fiction and fan art, I'll never die!

 

Deidara: …Dammit.

 

Sasori: And just look at Zetsu. He talks to himself using only half of his face, has to giant plants growing from him, and eats people! Zetsu, how were you born that way?

 

Zetsu: …My mommy liked Dandelions.

 

Tobi: What about Tobi? Tobi is a good boy. No one would ever hurt Tobi!

 

Deidara: Wanna bet?

 

Akatsuki Leader: Calm down Deidara. Does anyone have a plan to capture Naruto? Or do I have to come up with a real strategy?

 

Tobi: What's a strategy?

 

Akatsuki Leader: Sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore.

 

Zetsu: I have a plan.

 

Akatsuki Leader: Does it involve eating him?

 

Zetsu: …maybe.

 

Akatsuki Leader: Dose anyone else have a plan? No? Okay, fine. Like always, I'll come up with something.

 

Deidara: You mean you don't have any ideas?

 

Akatsuki Leader: What do you want from me? I'm an evil mastermind with a secret identity. I have a very busy schedule.

 

Itachi: When you're not watching Oprah?

 

Akatsuki Leader: Yes…I mean no! No I do not watch Oprah!

 

Itachi: AnOprahLoverSaysWhat?

 

Akatsuki Leader: What?

 

Itachi: Exactly.

 

~End~