Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Tag, You're Dead ❯ 06 - Come ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

 

Summary: The Sound is coming. Get ready to play. A series of 6 - Ino, Naruto, Hinata, Sakura, Sasuke, Tenten.

 

Tag, You're Dead

Chapter Six: Come

 

This is the end, or the beginning of the end, or whatever else they call it, she thinks, and she's stuck right in the middle of it, with no where to move. She and Neji, not back to back, but she's watching his, and he's watching hers, so despite the lack of physical contact, maybe-just-maybe that's enough.

 

And then it stops.

 

She isn't sure when, but one moment she's fighting and killing and breaking, and the next it's empty.

 

She doesn't really process it, at first, just keeps glancing around, teeth bared in a snarl, muscles clenched.

 

And Neji taps her on her shoulder, and she straightens, because that's what she does when he taps her right there, it means it's over and they've won, or it means it's over and they lost and they have to start running now.

 

But they've obviously won, they have to have won.

 

So she straightens up and she looks around and she wants to just sit here and cry. But she can't, because Neji's standing there and because she's kunoichi, but mostly because Neji's standing there, and she can't show him her weakness, can't give him an excuse to think any less of her.

 

And then it's back to business, counting the dead, finding the wounded, collecting her weapons, finding her friends, and she wonders how they can be so callous, how they can all act so uncaring, as if these deaths do not stain them, as if the blood of hundreds on their hands does not burden them, does not hurt them.

 

But Neji touches her shoulder again, and he offers her a handful of kunai, her kunai, and she looks into his eyes, and she sees coldness and justice and, buried beneath it all, guilt. And she brushes his shoulder, and they're a team so they know each other so well that he knows, instinctively, that she means that she understands.

 

It is what Gai first taught them: forgive yourself for killing, and then forgive those you killed. Always in that order, never forgive those you kill before forgiving yourself, because then you will never forgive yourself, you will never be clean of those deaths.

 

But Hyuuga Neji, the prodigy, the genius, the boy-man who slipped past the restraints of the Main and Branch Houses, has never been good at following directions, has never been good at forgiving himself, has never been able to convince himself that he is right when he has killed. So it is always difficult for him, after a battle, because he always forgets to forgive himself.

 

And maybe sometimes he skips all other forgiving, as well.

 

And though she's willing to overlook that, but she's not willing to overlook the skipping of the first step, but he's not willing to let her win, he's not willing to let her heal him, so she backs off, nods her thank you, and bends down for the katana she flung threw the chest of a man who had been attacking him. (Reminds him that he needs her too, sometimes.)

 

And then they trudge home. It's not very far, because the battle was close until the last bit, and it had taken them so long to figure out the jutsu the Sound shinobi had been using to hide themselves, but it feels like it takes a forever and a half. Cleaning up after the battle always seems to take more time than the battle itself.

 

But they trudge home, and she walks next to Neji, and steals this moment, because after a battle, he always lets her walk a bit closer, always lets her be a bit nicer, a bit softer, a bit weaker. And Lee and Gai-sensei walk in front in front of them, as usual, because that's how it is: Lee and Gai-sensei in front, sprinting, running, cheering, crying, laughing. And she and Neji behind, calm, steadfast, and she would like to say strong but is she?

 

But it's okay.

 

Today its okay, because today she doesn't go home to an empty house, today, she won't be alone, because tonight is for drinking and partying and screaming. Tonight is a night for the time-honored shinobi tradition, the tradition all shinobi know: get pissed off your ass. So tonight she goes to a club, with the Rookie Nine, and they get in because they are shinobi, and they just saved the Village. Who can deny them now? The invincibility of the moment makes her laugh out loud, triumphant and wild.

 

And her team - Team Gai, Team Thirteen - takes up a booth, and she smiles and orders the strongest thing she can find, Neji goes for sake, and Lee gets water. (A couple drinks later, she tells him she feels bad for him at times like these, when he can't get drunk. He smiles and laughs, because she already is.)

 

Team Seven (Team Kakashi?) is at the table next to them, and their sensei isn't with them, because he's the type to get drunk in a nicer setting, in a more private setting, and maybe with Genma and Iruka and Shizune, and maybe a few others. But Naruto is drunk, very drunk, Sasuke is slowly sipping his sake (Tenten wonders if sipping sake is something you're taught in those arrogant, noble houses), and Sakura is beyond drunk.

 

And she has a ring on her finger.

 

A diamond ring.

 

A large, red diamond ring.

 

And Tenten gulps and when did this happen?

 

She wracks her brain - and Sakura definitely didn't have a ring the last time she saw her, at the hospital to get more bandages. So between now and… She doesn't remember, and she blames the drink and the bubbly feeling it causes, but can't bring herself to put the glass down and instead signals for another.

 

And she glances past them, past Team Seven (the lucky team, the team that trained under the Sannin, the legendary team, the team that broke and was put back together, the team that broke and was forced back together, and does she always think in riddles when she's drunk?) and see Team Eight, and what the fuck?

 

She claps her hand over her mouth and wonders if she's also a bit less inhibited when she's drunk, because she doesn't curse this much normally, does she? And she notices Neji staring - glaring? - at her, and she almost-sorta-kinda giggles, drunken giggles, high-pitched and on the edge of hysteria, because that's where she is.

 

Because Hinata's got a ring, too. Smaller than Sakura's, maybe, but hers looks newer and Tenten decides, in the midst of another drunken fit of giggles, that Sakura's is probably an heirloom and that Hinata's is probably new, and she looks in the other direction, where Ino is drinking fancy, little girl's drinks, and probably trying not to get too drunk, just bubbly, just icy, just high, because who drinks strawberry daiquiris on the eve of a battle?

 

But she moves her hand to grasp the straw, and her hand reaches across the table, and Shikamaru grabs it, and when did this happen, and why does everyone but her have someone to hold on to?

 

And then she thinks she knows, she thinks it's because of the battle, because of the war, but that's way too romance-novel-y, right?

 

Still, it must have been because of the battle - because the Rookie Nine (and here she feels old) has finally discovered what it's like to carpe diem, seize the day. Live, love, laugh, and why can't she have this, why can't she feel this, why can't she be wearing a huge rock on her finger?

 

And she feels an overwhelming desire to hide her left hand, and instead raises it and signals for another drink, and finishes off the one she holds in one long swallow. It burns, going down, but it's a nice burn. (She's too far gone to register it as anything else, now).

 

And Neji glares-stares-glances at her again, and she's almost beginning to think he cares, that he wants her, if not that way - if not the way she cares - then at least the way friends care. But he looks away again and nurses his cup of sake and then sips at it again.

 

And she thanks the man for the glass of whatever it is she ordered - she can't remember what it is, anymore - and he finally opens his mouth. He's slurring, just a bit, but he's Hyuuga Neji, and a couple glasses (bottles) of sake can't defeat him, but she giggles, and he says, in that voice, “Tenten.”

 

And she looks at him and takes another sip of her drink, imitating him, and he narrows his eyes, “Tenten, stop drinking so much.”

 

And she giggles drunkenly, because that's what she is - drunk - and asks him in as flippant a voice as she can manage, “What, Neji, you worried?”

 

And he looks away, as she knows he will, and she prepares herself for his, “Hn. You won't be able to train tomorrow,” but instead she gets, “Is that so difficult to believe?”

 

And she gapes at him, and “What?”

 

That's not how it's supposed to go, that's not what he's supposed to say, because they have a routine, a well-established circle, and she asks and he not-answers and she pokes fun at him and he doesn't rise to the bait, effectively shooting it down instead.

 

He does not say something that implies that he cares.

 

But he does.

 

“Drinking won't make you forget.”

 

And she pulls herself together and lets him skip his step and goes right to poking fun at him, but not really, because she's bitter, and mad, and annoyed, and doesn't he get it?

 

“Don't get all holier-than-thou, as if you're not doing the same!”

 

And he raises a - perfect - eyebrow at her and manages to exude arrogance without moving another muscle and she almost winces before pulling herself together and preparing to deliver another barb.

 

But he interrupts her - because he always interrupts her before she can deliver particularly stinging barbs - and asks, in a voice that implies that he cares, “Something is wrong.”

 

And it's not asking her what's wrong, it's just saying that something is wrong, but that's more than she's gotten from him in all these years, and she thinks that maybe he's a bit more drunk than he's letting on.

 

So she answers him, because if he's as drunk as she thinks he is, then he won't be remembering this come tomorrow morning, and she wants to vent and rage and be a woman full of self-righteous anger over unrequited love.

 

So she smiles at him, sadly, drunkenly, and asks him, “Why can't we have this?”

 

And he looks vaguely confused, vaguely interested, so she adds, “Why can't we be happy, why can't we be together, why can't we get along, why can't you hold me when I cry, why can't I let you see me cry, why don't you let me see you cry?”

 

And she thinks he gets it now, thinks he gets it, like he doesn't usually - because he's a genius, but sometimes he needs things spelled out for him. He doesn't get emotional things. He doesn't understand that she needs him to touch her, to hold her, to let her cry. He doesn't understand, and she understands that, but understanding and acceptance are completely different things, and she's mastered one but not the other.

 

And he blinks at her and then he stands, and he holds out his hand, and he says, “Come.”

 

And she almost refuses, almost says no, but maybe it's the look in his eyes, or maybe it's the way he tells her to follow him, or maybe it's that he's actually waiting, but she takes his hand and lets him pull her to her feet, and follows him.

 

They don't walk that far, only to the closest training grounds, but she stops, right at the edge of the field, and she's tired now, tired, and bubbly, but contained bubbly, and she asks him, she asks him, “Why are we here?”

 

He doesn't answer her question, but he still speaks, and what he says is better and worse than an answer.

 

“Do you want a ring?”

 

She blinks, shocked, a bit.

 

“Is that what you want? A diamond ring? Holding hands? Chocolates on Valentine's Day? Because I think I can do that. I can give that to you. But is that what you want?”

 

She shakes her head, no, but what comes out of her mouth is different.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, Neji, that's what I want. I want a diamond ring, and I want you to let me hold your hand, and I want chocolates. But you know what, Neji? That's what I want.” She takes a deep breath, and it hitches, catches in her throat, but she breathes out, and takes another and this one's almost fine.

 

“It's not what I need. And maybe you can't give me what I want, but you can give me what I need.”

 

And he turns around, and if she didn't know him as well as she does, then she wouldn't be able to read the look in his eyes, but it's enough for her, because she's Tenten and he's Neji, and they're not like Shikamaru and Ino, not like Naruto and Hinata, not, even, like Sasuke and Sakura (though that's closer than others, but Neji isn't Sasuke and she isn't Sakura).

 

So that's enough, for now, and she knows he'll give her more, later.

 

But for now, that's enough, so she goes to him and lays her hands on his shoulders and buries her face in his chest and he lets her, and that's enough.

 

-End-