Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Amorous Adventures of Ayame the Ramen Girl ❯ Love Potion #9.5 ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 6: Love Potion #9.5
“Are you sure this will work?” the girl asked doubtfully. She peered closely at the brown liquid in the little glass vial with her green-blue eyes.

“Yes, yes, I've been a medic-nin for ages. I know all about medicinal herbs and drug effects. I'm not as strong physically as Tsunade-sama, but in medicine I'm almost as strong,” the tall young woman with dark hair replied proudly.

“So how does this work?”

“It's basically a love potion, like genjutsu in a bottle. It contains various extracts of aphrodisiacs infused with chakra. My own recipe. Er, don't let this get out. I'm just doing you a favor since you think there's a chance Sasuke might leave the village to seek out Orochimaru. We must do what we can to keep him here.”

“So I just pour it in his drink?”

“Yes, the dosage should last about 48 hours, depending how much he drinks. I measured it out based on his approximate body weight. It's a weaker concoction than what I use. I mean, you guys are still minors. Oh, and remember, it's love at first sight, within 10 seconds from drinking the potion.”

“Yes, I'll remember that,” Sakura nodded with a smile. `Hell yeah! Finally, true love will prevail!' “So, you've used this yourself?”

“Me? Well, let's face it. I'm just not as attractive as Tsunade-sama. All I ever get are her leftovers. I get tired of that sometimes.” Shizune blushed and shrugged in embarrassment. “But if you tell anyone…I'll hunt you down and make you fall in love with…Rock Lee!”

“No! Not him! Anyone but Fuzzy Eyebrows!” Sakura exclaimed, aghast at such a terrible fate. `No way! I'd rather French kiss a frog!'

“Right, just so we understand each other.” Shizune gave Sakura her most threatening stare.


It was well after the dinner rush hour when Sasuke agreed to meet Sakura at Ichiraku. Sakura timed it so that Naruto would be long gone and wouldn't interfere with her desperate plan to get Sasuke to fall in love with her. The only other customer was Iruka-sensei, who had been dating Ayame the ramen girl for a few months now. Iruka sat at the other end of the counter and waved at the two genin as they sat down. Sasuke nodded his greeting while Sakura said her salutations. Iruka then returned his attention to Ayame. They were engaged in silly sweet couple talk; Sakura observed jealously.

“Thanks for joining me for dinner, Sasuke-kun,” said the obsessed girl. `Can't wait to jump his bones!'

“Feh, so what did you want to tell me?” Sasuke responded in his usual cold way.

“Umm, let's talk after we eat, okay? Dinner is on me.”

Sasuke nodded cautiously while thinking, `Is this another one of her lame attempts to get me to like her? Pathetic. The only way I'd be interested is if she were stronger than me. Hah, like that would ever happen in this lifetime or the next hundred thousand.' He glanced at the menu and ordered beef ramen and a soda, his usual.

Sakura ordered the same thing, to show how much they had in common, but wisely with green tea so that their drinks wouldn't get mixed up.

“You can tell me what's on your mind while we wait for our food. Why waste time,” the dark haired, dark eyed boy pointed out.

“Oh…uh…I just wanted to discuss doing something for…Kakashi-sensei's birthday next week.” `Yeah! Nice save!'

“Ask Naruto. I hate celebrations of any sort,” Sasuke responded indifferently. `Birthdays, death days, what's the difference? What's the point? Man was born to die.'

“Well…you know how Naruto is. He'd just think of something stupid and perverted like jumping out of a big cake using his sexy no jutsu. Ugh!”

Sasuke shrugged, “Maybe Kakashi-sensei would like that.”

“Well, you must know him better than either of us. I mean, you trained with him for a month.”

“We trained. Not talked. He doesn't feel the need to say unnecessary things, like some people.” He glared pointedly at her.

Before Sakura could think of a suitable reply, their food came. Sakura was sitting to Sasuke's right. She “accidentally” knocked over his chopsticks with her elbow. “Sorry,” she said innocently. But as Sasuke bent down to get his chopsticks, Sakura poured the potion into his cup.

Meanwhile, Iruka was feeling happy, happier than he had ever recalled feeling. Ever since his parents died, he was alone in the world, and even though he had people he cared about, his friends and his students, it wasn't the same as having a family or having someone special. It was true that Naruto was like a son to him, but that was different, and soon Naruto would be a grown adult and living his own life.

Iruka was certain that he loved Ayame, at least 95 percent certain. Still there was that 5 percent of uncertainly where he wondered whether she was truly the one for him and whether he truly did love her or was he just lonely and in love with idea of love. What if there were someone else out there for him whom he had yet to meet, or perhaps he had met that person but failed to notice it? These were the usual doubts of someone on the verge of a serious commitment, of someone cautious and earnest.

But as he watched her lithe form, unjustly covered by her plain restaurant robe, moving not quite gracefully about the ramen stand, he couldn't help but smile and stare. He thought about how soon, after closing time, she would return with him to his apartment and…

His thoughts were interrupted and his silly smile disappeared when he noticed her father staring at him and scowling. Her father did not like his daughter sleeping anywhere but her own bed, at home, under his watch. The old man stuck to his old fashion ideas about pre-marital sex and commitment.

A while back he had said seriously to Iruka, “A relationship is like a bowl of noodles. Some noodles are short and others are long and though you may not like the short noodles, they're too difficult to separate out so you have to compromise and eat it anyway because you paid for it.” Iruka had just smiled and nodded, not really comprehending his point.

But now Iruka sheepishly looked down at his noodles. `Why doesn't he like me? I'm such a great guy. Ayame says he does but it sure doesn't seem like it.'

He reached out to take a sip of his sake when he noticed it was a dark brown syrupy bubbly drink rather than the clear aromatic liquid he expected.

Iruka called out, “Ayame-chan, where's my sake? This cup has soda in it.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, I must have gotten your drink mixed up with…” Ayame spied Sasuke's cup and quickly switched it with Iruka's. “Good thing Sasuke didn't drink any. I'd get in trouble for serving alcohol to a minor.”

Sasuke looked up from retrieving his chopsticks, obliviously to all that had happened.

“Ha-ha, that's right. I'd have to report you,” Iruka teased then quickly downed his sake before Sakura could say anything.

Sakura was horrified! She was about to warn Iruka but was too embarrassed to say anything and she figured Iruka already loved Ayame, so drinking a love potion wouldn't matter. But now she didn't know what to do about Sasuke. `Damn it to hell! What do I do now? I don't' really have anything to keep his attention and I don't have any of that potion left.' Then she heard a greeting.


After hours of catching up on paperwork and filing reports at the Hokage's insistence, Kakashi was on his way home. He was passing by the ramen stand when, out of the corner of his exposed right eye, he saw his two little teammates sitting together. `How cute, looks like Sakura is trying to put the moves on Sasuke again. Ha-ha, this is a perfect opportunity to tease them!' he thought mischievously.

Kakashi sauntered up to Ichiraku and called out, “Hi you guys!” He meant it as a greeting for his genin, but…

Everyone turned his/her head to look at Kakashi.

Bam! It was as if lightning struck! Iruka seeing stars, hearing bells, smelling roses, he sat frozen to his seat, unable to raise his hand to wave or even to raise his voice to reply. He just watched as Kakashi spoke to his genin then waved his farewell in his impossibly cool way. Then Sasuke got up abruptly and left with his face flushed. Sakura hurried after Sasuke while apologizing to him and cursing Kakashi. Ayame ran after Sakura who hadn't paid the bill for the untouched ramen and drinks. But the chaos was lost on the drugged chuunin who was now lost in his own thoughts.

`Now I understand why all women fall for him, so handsome and cool even with the mask,' he thought romantically and sighed.

Later that night, as Iruka walked arm-in-arm with Ayame back to his place, he found himself not thinking about the pretty brunette by his side, but about the annoying gray haired jounin. The couple had a tacit agreement not to mention Kakashi after the last fiasco when Iruka had mistakenly thought Ayame was pregnant with Kakashi's baby, but now Iruka could no longer contain his curiosity.

“Umm, I hope you don't mind me bringing this up but…what does Kakashi-sensei look like behind his mask?”

“Hmm? Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious, like everyone else.” He blushed slightly.

“Well…” Ayame didn't want to hurt Iruka's feelings by saying how better looking Kakashi was than he, but neither did she want to lie to him. “He has a scar running down his left eye, but the rest of his face is not marked. His nose is a bit more narrow than yours and his chin is stronger, cheekbones more defined, and his mouth is…” Ayame began to drift off, daydreaming about Kakashi's luscious lips compared to Iruka's thinner ones. “…just dreamy…” she sighed. “Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that yours…you know I love only you!” Ayame shook herself out of her reverie.

But instead of being jealous, Iruka was putting together Kakashi's face as Ayame described it. `Yes, I can almost picture it. If only I could see if for myself. I have to see it for myself!' he resolved.

“Hey, are you still paying attention?” Ayame shook Iruka's arm a bit roughly when he didn't reply.

“Oh, yes I am. Please continue.”

“Umm, that's about it,” she replied while thinking, `Then there's his body…'

`I wonder what his body's like. But it would be too weird if I ask her that.'
Instead Iruka just nodded absently in response.

Later that night…

“What's wrong? You can't seem to get it up today.” Ayame frowned as she tried another technique to arouse her paramour who lay flat on the bed.

“I…I must be tired. Tough day at the Academy. Those brats can really give me a work out,” Iruka explained. `Damn, what is it with me tonight? Ever since seeing Kakashi at the ramen stand, I've been…distracted. I've never had this problem before.' Then an idea came to him.

“Would you mind closing your left eye?” he suggested to Ayame.


“Maybe you can wear my forehead protector and your kerchief to cover the lower half of your face.”

“Umm, sure, but why?” She looked at him quizzically.

“Er… I thought cosplay might be fun,” Iruka tried this excuse.

“So… I'm a… bandit?”

“Yeah, that's it…a bandit.”

“Oh, cool!” Ayame laughed.

To Iruka's relief, she was the type who didn't mind experimenting, and she was not too quick on the uptake. “And maybe later you can bleach your hair,” he added.

But alas, the tricks did nothing to help Iruka with his problem. `Damn, I can't stop thinking of him. What's wrong with me? I don't swing that way…do I? I never tried it so how would I know? Well, there was that one time with Mizuki, but we were just genin and it was just curiosity. But…I want kids! I guess I can always adopt. But what the hell am I thinking?'

The disillusioned young man looked fondly at the sleeping form beside him. `She's awfully cute. But not too bright or worldly. In ten or twenty years or even two or maybe next week, will I have anything to say to her? Conversation is already a bit of a stretch. All she and her father ever talk about are articles from the “Ramen and Sake” magazine. I can't really discuss my missions with her because of the confidentiality rules. Maybe I should go for a kunoichi, but they're all so bitchy. But Kakashi's interesting. He's cool and mysterious. I wish I knew him better.'

Iruka started thinking about his last encounter with Kakashi where Kakashi had tied him to a chair in order to explain Ayame was not pregnant with his child. Kakashi had also implied that Iruka was too interested in him. Iruka had hotly denied it, but now he wondered if it were true. Maybe his envy of Kakashi was something more. In any case, he couldn't continue with Ayame if he had these uncertain feelings.

The honorable shinobi decided to break up with his girl and take some time to sort out his feelings.
But the next morning, Iruka continued to ruminate while cooking eggs in the frying pan. `How can I break up with her without hurting her? It would be easier if she were to break up with me, but that seems unlikely,' he thought to himself as he looked over at the smiling young woman seated at the breakfast table. `But Kakashi got her to dump him by being a jerk. Or maybe he was just acting. Damn, he's so smart! But I can't act like that. That would ruin my nice guy reputation. I guess there's no way but the direct way.' His inattention to the eggs caused them to become scrambled rather than sunny side up. After all, there was never a sunny side to breaking up with someone.

But Ayame was oblivious to how Iruka was feeling. She wolfed down her eggs while Iruka played with his. After her plate was clean, Iruka broached the subject. “About last night…”

“That's all right. I'm sure it happens to every guy at least once…or twice,” she replied comfortingly.

“No, it's more than that. It's us…I think it's not working out.”

“What?” Her smiling face fell instantly.

“It's not you…It's me,” Iruka explained lamely. “I'm just not sure of my feelings any more.”

“Why? Did I do something wrong? You just told me you loved me the other day? Was that a lie?”

“Well,I thought I did, but now I don't know.”

“What changed? What happened?”

“I…I'm not sure. It's just that since last night…”

“I told you that didn't matter to me.”

“No, it was just before that. I can't explain it. Since dinner last night, I've just been feeling…strange.” `Not that there's anything wrong with that,' Iruka insisted to himself.

“Is there someone else?” Ayame's women's intuition suddenly kicked in.

“Huh? No! No one else, not really,” Iruka denied weakly.

“Tell me dammit! I deserve that much, don't I, Mr. Nice Guy, NOT!” Ayame demanded angrily.

Iruka sighed and scratched his head in embarrassment. But the honest young man answered truthfully, “I think I have feelings for Kakashi.”

“You have got to be kidding! How? When? Why?”

“I don't know why. All of a sudden I saw him walking by the ramen stand last night and the moon was reflecting off his hair and it gave him this silver halo and he just looked so…I think I need some time to sort things out…” Iruka trailed off, blushed and shrugged.

Ayame started to cry. “I can't believe this. I knew I could never compete with a kunoichi, but I never thought…Kakashi…what the hell. I guess I can't compete with him either,” she sobbed. “But don't expect me to be waiting around for you to get your head on straight. And don't expect extra ramen toppings ever again!”

Her tears like acid burned his heart. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, carry her back to bed, but something alien was holding him back, some great external force he could not fight. In his confusion, he did nothing, said nothing, but hung his head.

`Dammit tears didn't work!' To save what little dignity she had, Ayame stopped crying, stood up, gathered her things in silence and left.

`Kakashi again! It's like he's fated to ruin my life! Damn him! I wish there was a way to get rid of him.' Ayame contemplated her options on her way to work. On her paycheck, she could not afford to hire someone to assassinate Kakashi. If only he had a dangerous enemy she could seek out. But she knew her thoughts of killing Kakashi were just an over reaction to the situation. She did not really want him dead. She just did not want him with Iruka. `If I can't have Iruka, then no one can! Especially NOT Kakashi!' she resolved to herself. 'But if I really love Iruka, I should want him to be happy. Am I being selfish? So what if I am? I want him and Kakashi can't have him! Over my dead, not mine...that would be bad...over their dead, not Iruka's, then I would have no one...over Kakashi's dead body...but I don't really want him dead.'

Her father knew immediately that something was wrong as soon as he saw his daughter walk right by the ramen stand, forgetting where it was. He had to call out to her. She turned back around and sadly sagged over to a stool, burying her head in her arms on top of the counter.

“Problem with Iruka-sensei?” her father asked as delicately as he could, which wasn't very.

“He dumped me again!” she sobbed. She could not bring herself to add that it was for Kakashi.

Her father shook his head and sighed. He was not surprised. After all, why pay for the toppings if you can get the ramen for free? And plain ramen got boring after a while. It was better to wait for the dish to be complete, better with all the toppings. But he knew better than to voice his ramen philosophy on his sensitive dumped daughter.