Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Untangible Hand ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me at all. *angst* This work is pure fiction.

 

Author's Note: Oh dear. I suppose this piece ought to be listed under the `Angst' category twice. There's a lot of, uh… drama in this one. Naruto would never be like this, with his dreams and all, but if his dreams were shattered? Even Naruto would succumb to the darkness. Indeed, Sasuke seems to have an invisible power, stronger now that he's gone. Strange, isn't it? I did not enjoy writing this as much as my other pieces. It's too strong and depressing for my tastes, but I hope it might meet some of your standards, dear reader.

-RaiMidori

 

P.O.V: Naruto

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“Hey, Sasuke.” He looks back at me, his face as blank as the sky. “Don't leave.” He pauses for a moment, looking unsure of what to say. The sound of the ocean is ringing in my ears, feeling so far away. I'd like to go there someday. When he looks back at me, his face is set with determination. “Sorry, Naruto. This isn't up to you.” He lifts his hand nonchalantly, and turns, turns and walks on. I've lost so many things. And even now… when will this stop?!? “Sasuke…” This time he doesn't turn. I watch his back, illuminated by the moon, until he disappears from my view. And then I fall onto my knees, crying and crying, not sure if I ever want to see the sun again.

 

All humans have weakness. I guess it's just something that we've all been born with, something that we just have because it's part of being human. But why is it so important? Why do we have to be like this? It doesn't make things any better. It casts a shadow over our hearts and weighs us down. Without weaknesses, without emotion or human things, we wouldn't have chains on our wings. We could fly away until we would be forgotten, tasting the sweet air far above. But, I guess… after that, we wouldn't be humans anymore.

 

It's been an eternity since you left. I wonder how much longer it will be until I say your name, watching Sakura turn, confused, and ask me who that person is. Who is this Sasuke, she'd say, her eyebrows knotted in an attempt to recognize the name. What I'm scared of is when she would say that, I would open my mouth to reply, and what would come out would tell her that, that's okay, we don't know him. I wonder who he is? Isn't that just the most sorrowful thing you've heard, Sasuke? Isn't it?

 

A long time ago, I would be ashamed to admit this, but now it's all different. Everything. I've cried. I've cried, Sasuke, because of my weaknesses. I could have stopped you! What was wrong with me? What made me so… just so weak?!? I thought my friendship was enough. But, really, was it? Am I worthy of being your friend, Sasuke? Because, if I am, I would… have been able to save you. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. If I ever see you again, will you forgive me?

 

I actually told myself one day I'd be the Hokage. Everyone would look up to me, I'd protect the village, over and over. I mastered the Rasengan. I quickened my reflexes, I trained every single day. How come it wasn't enough? How could I just… fall onto my knees, watching the blood from the scrapes and wounds on my body drip onto the floor like the sand in an hourglass. Plip. Plip. Plip. Naruto, time is running out. Every drip is two steps away from Konoha for Sasuke, two steps farther from you. One second is the world. You're losing. If only it had been enough. If only I were stronger. If only, if only…

 

I've always wanted to see the ocean. I've known all this time. That if I even saw the ocean, I would feel small again, I would feel insignificant, and that there's something bigger out there. Well, there is. There's something bigger out there that's trying it's hardest to teach us something with this. I just need to figure it out. What ever that message is, though, it's hard to believe that bigger something is out there. I mean, all these words, fate, destiny, once you say them, they sound strong, but if you say them in fear, they're, all of a sudden, stronger than you. Sometimes I just forget all of this, and start to wonder if there is, instead, some sick-minded devil who's leading our lives. It's hard to tell either way. There's another sad thing right there. It's pitiful.

 

All those dreams you have when you're little, they start to fade over time, like the pages of an old book. They start to fade until they're just lifeless shells, cracking when you try to turn the page. But when you do, the words have long since lost their colour, and you have to squint to see them. The day after that, they'll be gone. I know this for sure. It's just so hard when you see all those things you lived on for, that you even risked your life for, crumble into dust right in front of you. It's hard to imagine, but if you do it right, you'd open your eyes fast, gasping for air. And, even this, even this pain that I have to live with everyday, is nothing compared to yours. It's all my fault. And that pain? That kind of pain is just about the kind you must be feeling right now. If you aren't feeling anything, then my pain gets even worse.

 

Haha. It seems so funny to be talking about pain and death like it's my garden or the new student at the academy. It's also tearing me apart, just knowing that I can, you know? Sometimes my childhood happiness and you are just so far away I can't even see them anymore. Say, Sasuke. Do you think, if you ever come back, if I ever can bring you back, would you teach me about happiness again? Will you take my hand and lead me from this darkness? Or are you… just as lost as I am?

 

There are questions banging around in my head. It hurts a lot, and sometimes it's so confusing I wish I couldn't think at all. Is it the same for you too? My window is so darkened! How am I supposed to look out and see the light? It's hard enough to even believe it's there. I keep saying these things, but will you ever come back? You have power now, right? You have it right there, and you can do a lot of things we can't. Tell me, please tell me you've had enough. Because I have.

 

Are you going to blame yourself? Or do you even think about me anymore? There isn't one day when I haven't though about you. I can watch the same scene every day, and still find my mind going back to you. It's everything around me, because there's always a time when we were here together. We were all here together, laughing and just talking, feeling like we were on top of the world. Really, we were, weren't we?

 

Hey, I see a light. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just my ill brain, making up images again. I hear they call it hallucination. I don't really mind. It's quite warm, really. I can let it engulf me, and I wouldn't care about it being fake. As long as it feels real. And then my mind would turn to you, and everything would go black again, and I'd be left sprawled on the floor, sobbing like a baby, all alone.

 

When are you coming back, Sasuke? It's not right without you. I wish I could talk to the moon, because the moon shines over you too, doesn't it? I wish I could be a star, shining over the rolling hills, the pointed roofs, the glittering ponds. I'd be able to see you.

 

It's finally another dream, isn't it?