Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Things Naruto Characters Would Never Say ❯ Never Say Pt. III ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Oneesan no Miroku Houshi 
It is what is says,people...
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.23.2005 | Updated On: 10.23.2005 | Pages: 9 | Words: 11.5K | Visits: 774 | Status: Work In Progress
It is what is says,people...
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.23.2005 | Updated On: 10.23.2005 | Pages: 9 | Words: 11.5K | Visits: 774 | Status: Work In Progress
A/N: More of them. I can't believe so many people like these.
Things Naruto Characters Would Never Say - Part III
ALL DISCLAIMERS APPLY!
-Shikamaru: Kakashi-sensei? Where's your Icha Icha Paradise book? I wanna see!
-Kakashi: Sorry, Shikamaru. I threw them away. They suddenly disgust me!
-Shikamaru: Awww man!
-Kakashi: Sorry, Shikamaru. I threw them away. They suddenly disgust me!
-Shikamaru: Awww man!
Ino:~With Tears in eyes~ "Why?, This is such a cruel world, Everyone is always picking on him, I can still hear their voices: Silly Rabbit Trix are for kids, I mean .. why couldn't they just give the poor bunny some Trix?"
-Gai:"Hey Rock Lee... does this Dress make me look fat.. I mean I don't think red is my color!"
(Neji and Gaara walking in Pet store together) -Neji: "Oh Gaara can we pretty please get the cute little bunny..pretty pwease..wook at duh cute wittle bun bun..cute wittle bun bun..hehehehehe"
-Iruka "Ugh, Kakashi Gimme a break"
-Kakashi "Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar, That chocolaty taste gonna make your day, and everywhere you go you hear the people say..."
-Iruka(annoyed):"Kakashi ..... Shut Up!!"
-Kakashi(Gasps)"You hurt my wittle feelings.. I am gonna tell your mommy what you did!! ...you bad wittle boy!!!!"
-Itachi running around in pink little underwear-"But mommy ... I don't want to go to school today....I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
-Jiraiya -"Ok Naruto I will give you till the count of 3 to get on that bed And........... DO THE HOKEY POKEY WITH ME ..YAY!!!"
-Sasuke:*Talks in sleep* "I am a strong and confident woman"
-Gaara*In a Luke Skywalker costume holding up sword and acting brave* "No need to worry little lady .. I will find Darth Vader ... and Set you free!!!"
-Sakura:*Has Eyes closed*"Umm.....Mister Brave....You want to put some pants and underwear on"
-Ino*Wearing nothing but a diaper and holding a blanket* "But Shikamaru I still don't understand why you want a divorce??!!"
-Sakura*Spying on Kakashi undressing* "Oooooh yeah that's it ....come on ...come on...take it off"
-(Sasuke Lying on a bed next to a doctors desk)-Sasuke(Talking to Doctor) "and..when I was five...I got hit in the head with a wooden swing..*Tears start to poor out of her eyes* all the kids started to laugh and point at me..."
-(Iruka, Jiraiya and Kakashi all sitting on a couch)"Ok ok its my turn...." *Jiraiya walking like a sexy lady*
-Iruka:"PRETTY WOMAN!!!!"
-Kakashi:"God..That woman who plays that pretty woman girl is soo gay..now her boyfriend...."
-Hinata:" I am Sorry ... I really am ..But that is what they all are saying about you!"
-Iruka:"I am so embarrassed....How could anyone think I am not Gay??"
-*Naruto and Sasuke in a small little girls room playing with Barbie dolls*
-Naruto:*Talking in a girls voice* "Ok Ken...I wanna go to the mall...I want to get lots of perfume and makeup!"
-Sasuke: *Talking in a deep mans voice* "Ok Barbie ..but right after I Go ask this guy if he will go out with me!"
-*Kakashi trying to do sit-ups and Sakura at his feet holding them down*
-Gai:"Hey Rock Lee... does this Dress make me look fat.. I mean I don't think red is my color!"
(Neji and Gaara walking in Pet store together) -Neji: "Oh Gaara can we pretty please get the cute little bunny..pretty pwease..wook at duh cute wittle bun bun..cute wittle bun bun..hehehehehe"
-Iruka "Ugh, Kakashi Gimme a break"
-Kakashi "Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar, That chocolaty taste gonna make your day, and everywhere you go you hear the people say..."
-Iruka(annoyed):"Kakashi ..... Shut Up!!"
-Kakashi(Gasps)"You hurt my wittle feelings.. I am gonna tell your mommy what you did!! ...you bad wittle boy!!!!"
-Itachi running around in pink little underwear-"But mommy ... I don't want to go to school today....I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
-Jiraiya -"Ok Naruto I will give you till the count of 3 to get on that bed And........... DO THE HOKEY POKEY WITH ME ..YAY!!!"
-Sasuke:*Talks in sleep* "I am a strong and confident woman"
-Gaara*In a Luke Skywalker costume holding up sword and acting brave* "No need to worry little lady .. I will find Darth Vader ... and Set you free!!!"
-Sakura:*Has Eyes closed*"Umm.....Mister Brave....You want to put some pants and underwear on"
-Ino*Wearing nothing but a diaper and holding a blanket* "But Shikamaru I still don't understand why you want a divorce??!!"
-Sakura*Spying on Kakashi undressing* "Oooooh yeah that's it ....come on ...come on...take it off"
-(Sasuke Lying on a bed next to a doctors desk)-Sasuke(Talking to Doctor) "and..when I was five...I got hit in the head with a wooden swing..*Tears start to poor out of her eyes* all the kids started to laugh and point at me..."
-(Iruka, Jiraiya and Kakashi all sitting on a couch)"Ok ok its my turn...." *Jiraiya walking like a sexy lady*
-Iruka:"PRETTY WOMAN!!!!"
-Kakashi:"God..That woman who plays that pretty woman girl is soo gay..now her boyfriend...."
-Hinata:" I am Sorry ... I really am ..But that is what they all are saying about you!"
-Iruka:"I am so embarrassed....How could anyone think I am not Gay??"
-*Naruto and Sasuke in a small little girls room playing with Barbie dolls*
-Naruto:*Talking in a girls voice* "Ok Ken...I wanna go to the mall...I want to get lots of perfume and makeup!"
-Sasuke: *Talking in a deep mans voice* "Ok Barbie ..but right after I Go ask this guy if he will go out with me!"
-*Kakashi trying to do sit-ups and Sakura at his feet holding them down*
-Kakashi:"I can't. I just cant do anymore.."
-Sakura:"Ugh.... If you do 5 more ..I will flash ya"
-Kakashi:*Trying very hard to do more* "One....T..w..w.o.... two and a half....two and three quarters....Accckk..*Collapses, Breathing hard*... ok ..just show me one of them!"
*Haku, Zabuza and Itachi at a store picking out costumes*
-Itachi:" NO! I wanna be the ballerina!!"
-Naruto:"Iruka-sensei gimme a big smooch right here on the cheek for good luck!"
-Sasuke: *Freaking out* "I CANT BELIVE IT!!!! SOMEONE PUT HAIR REMOVER IN MY HAIR GEL!! NO ONE WILL REST UNTILL I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS!!!"
-Jiraiya: *Sniffles* "I love those green turtles. They are my heroes!! COWABUNGA!!"
-Gaara:"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!"
-Neji:"I HAVE DONE IT!!!! I HAVE COUNTED ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES!! I AM A GENIUS!!"
-Sakura:"Ugh.... If you do 5 more ..I will flash ya"
-Kakashi:*Trying very hard to do more* "One....T..w..w.o.... two and a half....two and three quarters....Accckk..*Collapses, Breathing hard*... ok ..just show me one of them!"
*Haku, Zabuza and Itachi at a store picking out costumes*
-Itachi:" NO! I wanna be the ballerina!!"
-Naruto:"Iruka-sensei gimme a big smooch right here on the cheek for good luck!"
-Sasuke: *Freaking out* "I CANT BELIVE IT!!!! SOMEONE PUT HAIR REMOVER IN MY HAIR GEL!! NO ONE WILL REST UNTILL I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS!!!"
-Jiraiya: *Sniffles* "I love those green turtles. They are my heroes!! COWABUNGA!!"
-Gaara:"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!"
-Neji:"I HAVE DONE IT!!!! I HAVE COUNTED ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES!! I AM A GENIUS!!"
-Hinata: I confess. I was in the Wizard of Oz.
-Gai *to Rock Lee*: You are my fire, the one desire.....
-Sasuke: How do you like my new pink tutu, Naruto?
-Naruto: It's pretty Sasuke! Where'd you get it?
-Sasuke: Can't you believe it? I got it at Ross for 3.00!
-Gaara: Excuse me, sir, do you have this dress in pink?
-Sakura: YOU'RE WHAT??????
-Kakashi: Don't get mad at me Sakura....*scared to death*
-Sakura: You mean to tell me that you're taking sensitivity classes with Sasuke? And that you're gonna marry him next week? *laughs*
-Kakashi: What the hell is funny about that? I'm serious!
-Naruto and Sakura (having sex, singing): "Coz tonight, is the night.. When 2 become oneee..."
-Zabuza: "AHH!! A SPIDER!! SOMEBODY KILL IT!!" *runs away in panic*
-Ino: "Damnit it's stuck hard.. Shikamaru, could you open this darn bottle of jam for me?"
-Naruto (standing with one hand on his hip, the other hand out in front of him): "Oh! Oh, my gosh, would you look at that? I broke a nail! Now what am I supposed to do??"
-Kakashi: "I hate water."
-Zabuza: "AHH!! A SPIDER!! SOMEBODY KILL IT!!" *runs away in panic*
-Ino: "Damnit it's stuck hard.. Shikamaru, could you open this darn bottle of jam for me?"
-Naruto (standing with one hand on his hip, the other hand out in front of him): "Oh! Oh, my gosh, would you look at that? I broke a nail! Now what am I supposed to do??"
-Kakashi: "I hate water."
- Haku: Hey, Itachi, where'd you get that kickin' "Badman" shirt??
- Itachi: Like it? It was in a JC Penney's catalog, believe it or not!
- Haku: No shit? You gotta give us the order number, man!
- Sakura: I will not fear, fear is the mind killer...
- Kakashi ,Sakura ,Hinata and Iruka: One more bored lesbian loves/gay sensei crack and it's DYIN' TIME TONIGHT! Got that, you hentai sickos??
- 3rd Hokage: Oh, "In & Out"? I just LOVE that movie! Kevin Kline is an absolute DREAM! Why do you ask?
- Fans: Uh, no reason, no reason at all... (innocent whistling)
- Zabuza: (after cutting up foot soldiers) As you can see, the Blade isn't even scratched after all that use! And it's guaranteed to continue working for at least ONE MILLION cuts without tarnishing, or your money back!
- Hinata: Oh, WOW! That's SO COOL! Neji, let's get one!
- Neji: Hmmm, I dunno... we've got some pretty good knives at home.
Sing-along time!
- TenTen: The time has come at last, to throw away my mask so everyone can see my true identity! (rips face off, revealing gore and circuitry) I'm KILROY! KILROY! KILROY! (falls to ground) Kilroy... (dies) [Styx, Mr. Roboto]
- Sakura ,Naruto ,Kakashi and Sasuke: Just the two of us... we can make it if we try, just the two of us, you and I. [Will Smith]
- Gaara: I am the cult of, I am the cult of, I am the cult of: PER SON AL I TY! [Heck, I have no clue]
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino, Shikamaru and Naruto: All over, all over.
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino ,Shikamaru and Naruto: All over your body.
- Sasuke: All over your body... [following a trend...]
- Sakura: I'm a bitch
- Jiraiya: I'm a lover
- Naruto: I'm a child
- Ino: I'm a mother
- Kakashi: I'm a sinner
- 3rd Hokage: I'm a saint
- Sasuke: I do not feel ashamed [version one]
- Ino: I'm a bitch
- Sakura: I'm a tease
- Kurenai: I'm a goddess on my knees
- Iruka: When you hurt, when you suffer
- Naruto: I'm your angel undercover
- Gaara: I am up (?)
- Gai: I'm revived
- Kakashi: Can't say I'm not alive
- All: You know you wouldn't want it any other way [version two]
- Gai: I eat too much, I drink too much, I want too much, TOO MUCH! [Dave Matthews Band]
- Neji: Sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight, for we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right... [Billy Joel]
- Naruto: Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who knows that I am the one [Michael Jackson]
- Ino: Three, oh, it's the magic number... [Schoolhouse Rock]
- Kakashi: And it'll happen once again, I'll turn to a friend, someone who understands, sees through the master plan, but everybody's gone, and I've been here for too long to take this on my own, well I guess this is growing up [Blink 182]
- Sasuke: I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life [heh, guess who?]
- Zabuza: Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you, make a little birdhouse in your soul [They Might Be Giants!]
- Gai: The beautiful people, the beautiful people, it's all anatomic as the size of your steeple. Ca-pit-a-lism, has made it this way, old-fashioned facism will TAKE IT AWAY! [Marilyn Manson]
- Itachi: Like it? It was in a JC Penney's catalog, believe it or not!
- Haku: No shit? You gotta give us the order number, man!
- Sakura: I will not fear, fear is the mind killer...
- Kakashi ,Sakura ,Hinata and Iruka: One more bored lesbian loves/gay sensei crack and it's DYIN' TIME TONIGHT! Got that, you hentai sickos??
- 3rd Hokage: Oh, "In & Out"? I just LOVE that movie! Kevin Kline is an absolute DREAM! Why do you ask?
- Fans: Uh, no reason, no reason at all... (innocent whistling)
- Zabuza: (after cutting up foot soldiers) As you can see, the Blade isn't even scratched after all that use! And it's guaranteed to continue working for at least ONE MILLION cuts without tarnishing, or your money back!
- Hinata: Oh, WOW! That's SO COOL! Neji, let's get one!
- Neji: Hmmm, I dunno... we've got some pretty good knives at home.
Sing-along time!
- TenTen: The time has come at last, to throw away my mask so everyone can see my true identity! (rips face off, revealing gore and circuitry) I'm KILROY! KILROY! KILROY! (falls to ground) Kilroy... (dies) [Styx, Mr. Roboto]
- Sakura ,Naruto ,Kakashi and Sasuke: Just the two of us... we can make it if we try, just the two of us, you and I. [Will Smith]
- Gaara: I am the cult of, I am the cult of, I am the cult of: PER SON AL I TY! [Heck, I have no clue]
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino, Shikamaru and Naruto: All over, all over.
- Rock Lee: Gonna dress you up in my love.
- Ino ,Shikamaru and Naruto: All over your body.
- Sasuke: All over your body... [following a trend...]
- Sakura: I'm a bitch
- Jiraiya: I'm a lover
- Naruto: I'm a child
- Ino: I'm a mother
- Kakashi: I'm a sinner
- 3rd Hokage: I'm a saint
- Sasuke: I do not feel ashamed [version one]
- Ino: I'm a bitch
- Sakura: I'm a tease
- Kurenai: I'm a goddess on my knees
- Iruka: When you hurt, when you suffer
- Naruto: I'm your angel undercover
- Gaara: I am up (?)
- Gai: I'm revived
- Kakashi: Can't say I'm not alive
- All: You know you wouldn't want it any other way [version two]
- Gai: I eat too much, I drink too much, I want too much, TOO MUCH! [Dave Matthews Band]
- Neji: Sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight, for we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feeling all right... [Billy Joel]
- Naruto: Billie Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who knows that I am the one [Michael Jackson]
- Ino: Three, oh, it's the magic number... [Schoolhouse Rock]
- Kakashi: And it'll happen once again, I'll turn to a friend, someone who understands, sees through the master plan, but everybody's gone, and I've been here for too long to take this on my own, well I guess this is growing up [Blink 182]
- Sasuke: I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life [heh, guess who?]
- Zabuza: Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you, make a little birdhouse in your soul [They Might Be Giants!]
- Gai: The beautiful people, the beautiful people, it's all anatomic as the size of your steeple. Ca-pit-a-lism, has made it this way, old-fashioned facism will TAKE IT AWAY! [Marilyn Manson]
END SING ALONG
-*Naruto is galloping through the woods pretending he is on a horse dressed as King Arthur. Kakashi follows him making horse galloping noises with coconuts. They see -Itachi, dressed as the Black Night ahead of them*
-Naruto: Hey pal! *keeps skipping back*
-Itachi: No one shall pass!
-Kakashi: Let's turn back.
-Naruto: No! *tries to pass, but Itachi slashes his sword in front of Naruto*
-Itachi: No one shall pass!
-Naruto: Fine! *Naruto and Itachi start fighting. Naruto cuts off Itachi's arm.*
-Itachi: Gasp!
-Naruto: Now step aside...
-Itachi: I can still fight! *Fight starts again and Naruto cuts off Itachi's other arm*
-Naruto: You can't fight now. We will call it a draw.
-Itachi: Tis' a small wound. C'mon, let's fight chicken. *starts kicking Naruto*
-Naruto: SHUT UP ALREADY! *cuts off Itachi's legs and kicks him in the groin. Kakashi and he walk off*
-Itachi: Come back and fight like a man! Haha!! (aka Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail)
-Kermit the Frog: Hello, this is Kermit the Frog reporting from Konoha Village. Here are my new co-anchors Jiraiya and Naruto.
-Both: Hi!!
-Sakura: Hey everyone! I found my long lost sisters: CereCere, ParaPara, JunJun, and VesVes!
-Anko :Everyone in Konoha is asking: Who is Mr. Pita?
-Itachi: I don't eat or give a flying f*ck!
-Naruto: No idea, but he is surely can't fight as well as me.
-Ino: Get away from me, you slutty b*tch!
-Kakashi: *looks down at his chicken salad sandwich in pita bread and sniffs* I just ate him. Sasuke, I killed Mr. Pita!
-*It is Christmas time! Kakashi decides to get a job to pay the bills*
-Kakashi: Hohoho! Who is next?
-Chibi Usa (Rini): *jumps on his lap*
-Kakashi: And what do you want for Christmas little girl?
-Chibi Usa (Rini) I want you to resurrect my friend Hotaru who killed herself to save the world.
-Kakashi: Um, ugh. Sorry, can't do that!
-Chibi Usa (Rini): WHAT! *kicks him, jumps off, and gives him the finger*
-Kakashi: Brat! Next! *Ino comes on his lap shyly* Why hello, little girl. What do you want for Christmas?
-Ino: Barbies, a dolly, a book with a doggie, my own doggie...*goes on for an hour*
-Kakashi: Okay, that's enough. Does Sakura want to sit on my lap?
-Ino: Pervert! *punches Kakashi and runs off crying*
-Itachi: *gets on Santa Kakashi's lap* Hiya, Santa.
-Kakashi: Aren't you a little too old for this?
-Itachi: Oh Santa Kakashi! All I have ever wanted to be was a real boy!
-Santa Kakashi: *sighs* This is going to be a long day.
-Zabuza: *Running around in dress up clothes* I am a pretty pretty princess!
-Haku: ZABUZA!
-Itachi: Haku, Zabuza won't let me wear the Hello Kitty Skirt!
-Haku: Zabuza, how many times do I have to tell you to share! Up to your room right now, mister!
-Neji: Umm, why do I look like Dr. Tomoe? ((Dr.Tomoe is Sailor Saturn's father))
-Naruto: *Dressed up like a flower in a ballet recital* I am Princess Posey!!! Hehe!
-Kakashi: *the same* I am Lady Lilac!
-Sasuke: *ditto* I am Duchess Daisy!
-Rock Lee: *walks out in his normal clothes with flower petals around his head* I am Primrose Pixie...and I don't remember how I was put up to this.
-Naruto: I like Ike!
-Sakura: I like Ike!
-Naruto cast: WE ALL LIKE IKE! ((aka an old Dwight D. Eisenhower campaign thing))
-Kakashi: Don't snap the wrappings, dammit!
-Ino: *her wig blows off*
-Shikamaru: Now I remember when you went for that Sinead O'Connor look!
-Ino: I am the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe, don't you know!
-Iruka and Itachi: *singing* We are quicker than the ray of light!
-Gaara: *singing* Please don't talk to the lifeguard! Please don't talk to the lifeguard! Says the sign where I go to swim. How can I get to know him! How can I get to show him that I am so much in love with him! ((This is a real song))
-Kakashi: *looking through a Victoria's Secret's catalogue in the bathroom* I didn't know Sakura modeled!
-Haku: Hey, Zabuza wanna go catch a movie?
-Zabuza: Sorry, gotta go sharpen my teeth.
-Michiru: Haruka, where are you?
-*sees Haruka kissing Ino*
-Michiru: *transforms into Sailor Neptune and beats up Ino*
-Itachi: There is really one thing that I really fear...*looks around and whispers* Furbies.
-Naruto: No one likes me. Everybody hates me! Guess I'll go eat worms.
-Naruto cast: Not a bad idea! How right you are!
-Naruto: Not funny! WAHHH!
-Sakura: Kakashi, I am pregnant with 4 kids.
-Kakashi: Yippie skippie! *jumps up and down with happiness*
-Gaara: Comon Anko...just one more
-Anko: No!
-Gaara: But ...need more...going...into...withdraw...
(curls into the fetal position)
-Anko: Don't you see Gaara, this vicious cycle of addiction has to stop!
-Gaara: (rocking back and forth) ... need Pez need Pez gotta have Pez...
-Iruka: Man, what a kegger. Talk about a hangover.
(hears someone in the bathroom) Huh?!?!
-Kakashi: (walks in with a toothbrush in his mouth and tying the belt on a fuzzy pink robe) Morning sweetheart used your toothbrush hope you don't mind. And look what I found in the back of the closet. Doesn't it look just adorable on me. (twirls around then goes back to brushing his teeth)
-Iruka: (faints)
-Sakura: (peaks out from behind the bathroom door) Did he fall for it?
-Kakashi: Yup. That'll teach him to puke on me. Make sure you grab his wallet on the way out; he's paying
the dry-cleaning bill.
-Sakura: Okay, Oh and Kakashi-sensei... CHEEZ!! (snaps a picture)
-Kakashi: AHHHHH!!! (Chases after Sakura)
-Itachi: What do you think of my "4th eye" Haku?
-Kakashi: A tattoo and a few piercings would go great with this haircut.
-Kakashi: No Naruto, the barber didn't screw up again!
-Jiraiya: I'm gonna be the one on TV, lookin all buff..BEEFCAKE..BEEFCAKE!
-Hinata: When I walk in I'm going to drop you with a Stone Cold Stud Stunner..and that's the bottom line!
-Itachi: This Hitler guy kicked serious ass!
-Shikamaru: The hair is just an expression of myself!
-Naruto: No you can't use me for a bowling ball!
-Iruka:...might sell well bottled...
-Sasuke: Jeeze..all this fire flaring up around me is gonna give me a bad sunburn.
-3rd Hokage: I did not engage is sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky!
-Gaara: Why did they make my head look like a beehive?
-Jiraiya: No, I did not enjoy gazing at and drooling over Kurenai's genitalia.
-Itachi- Kakashi is gay
-(Sakura and Kakashi are in bed, doing well....)
-Kakashi- Sakura…
-Sakura- Kakashi, you're so hot
-Kakashi- Sakura
-Sakura- Oh Kakashi....
Naruto(To Sakura, at Sasuke's funeral)- he called you Ino again, didn't he?
-Haku- Spiffy!
-3rd Hokage- Macho man?! I wanna be a ballerina!
-Kakashi- I wanna be just like my father
-Hinata-@#$!?^^(%)@!#$$%%&*#&%*(!!!
-Sakura- the way to a man's heart is through his stomach
-Sasuke- no wonder the only man you could get was Jiraiya!
-Naruto- Hey, what's your favorite anime?
-Sasuke- Sailor Moon, it's so cool and I love Neo Queen Serenity's dress. I'm in love with Usagi.
-Kakashi- I like Ranma, it's hilarious!
-Sakura- I like Naruto, cause I'm in it.
-Iruka- Uhhh....Armitage, definitely. She's hot-
-Gaara- Well, I like Slayers, cause well, its Slayers. Do I have to give a reason?
-Ino-:::Starts singing "Give a Reason":::
-Kakashi-:::reading this list::: Heh...HaHAHAAAA- That was good!
::: looks at next one::: WHAT?! Me and Naruto, LOVERS?! Why that....
-Itachi- :::confessing his sins:::
-(Sakura and Kakashi are in bed, doing well....)
-Kakashi- Sakura…
-Sakura- Kakashi, you're so hot
-Kakashi- Sakura
-Sakura- Oh Kakashi....
Naruto(To Sakura, at Sasuke's funeral)- he called you Ino again, didn't he?
-Haku- Spiffy!
-3rd Hokage- Macho man?! I wanna be a ballerina!
-Kakashi- I wanna be just like my father
-Hinata-@#$!?^^(%)@!#$$%%&*#&%*(!!!
-Sakura- the way to a man's heart is through his stomach
-Sasuke- no wonder the only man you could get was Jiraiya!
-Naruto- Hey, what's your favorite anime?
-Sasuke- Sailor Moon, it's so cool and I love Neo Queen Serenity's dress. I'm in love with Usagi.
-Kakashi- I like Ranma, it's hilarious!
-Sakura- I like Naruto, cause I'm in it.
-Iruka- Uhhh....Armitage, definitely. She's hot-
-Gaara- Well, I like Slayers, cause well, its Slayers. Do I have to give a reason?
-Ino-:::Starts singing "Give a Reason":::
-Kakashi-:::reading this list::: Heh...HaHAHAAAA- That was good!
::: looks at next one::: WHAT?! Me and Naruto, LOVERS?! Why that....
-Itachi- :::confessing his sins:::
-Iruka: Well, I guess it's time to get to work... *puts on purple feathered hat*
-Naruto: Well, I guess it's time to get to work... *puts on very short mini skirt and tight blouse*
-Kakashi: Re....Place...Ment..........Ju..........Tsu..........ummm......DAMMIT!
-Neji: Time for some bitchin' music!
-Naruto: I'm gonna bust a move! *begins break dancing*
-Ino (in Iria-like voice): I really need to take a shower...
-Rock Lee: I'm gonna beat yo' ass, Gai!
-Gai: Holy sh-
-Kakashi: Chidori! *whips out a gun*
-Rest of Naruto-Team: Uhhh....
-Kakashi: Cooool.
-Naruto: Well, I guess it's time to get to work... *puts on very short mini skirt and tight blouse*
-Kakashi: Re....Place...Ment..........Ju..........Tsu..........ummm......DAMMIT!
-Neji: Time for some bitchin' music!
-Naruto: I'm gonna bust a move! *begins break dancing*
-Ino (in Iria-like voice): I really need to take a shower...
-Rock Lee: I'm gonna beat yo' ass, Gai!
-Gai: Holy sh-
-Kakashi: Chidori! *whips out a gun*
-Rest of Naruto-Team: Uhhh....
-Kakashi: Cooool.
-Neji at the checkout station: Don't worry, I'll be back! (in terminator voice)
-Rock Lee: It's not my fault I'm green! My mom married the Jolly Green Giant, ok?!
-Naruto: Man, I knew I should have rubbed Gaara's head before I took that test!
-Rock Lee: Miracle grow worked for me! Now I'm nice and tall! Heehee!
-Jiraiya: Shut up!!
-Sasuke to Kakashi: What do you call that lovely hair color we want to try some.
-Neji: I think I'll give up fighting and learn to play the flute
-Anko: Lets all go to DEB these clothes are ridiculous
-Naruto: free ramen, no thanks
-Zabuza singing: And peace on Earth good will to men
-Iruka: Come on Naruto lets go fight some villains
-Naruto: Not right now can't you see what time it is
-Iruka: What Barney is coming on push over on the couch I can't miss this
<Both sit on the couch and start singing I love you, you love me....>
-Rock Lee: It's not my fault I'm green! My mom married the Jolly Green Giant, ok?!
-Naruto: Man, I knew I should have rubbed Gaara's head before I took that test!
-Rock Lee: Miracle grow worked for me! Now I'm nice and tall! Heehee!
-Jiraiya: Shut up!!
-Sasuke to Kakashi: What do you call that lovely hair color we want to try some.
-Neji: I think I'll give up fighting and learn to play the flute
-Anko: Lets all go to DEB these clothes are ridiculous
-Naruto: free ramen, no thanks
-Zabuza singing: And peace on Earth good will to men
-Iruka: Come on Naruto lets go fight some villains
-Naruto: Not right now can't you see what time it is
-Iruka: What Barney is coming on push over on the couch I can't miss this
<Both sit on the couch and start singing I love you, you love me....>
-Itachi: "I really feel masculine today. It is just too bad that I act, look like, and sound like a woman. Not even changing a few times can change me now."
-Kakashi-Icha Icha Paradise should be banned
-Jiraiya-I'm joining the NBA
*Naruto mows lawn and hits something* Oops, sorry Sasuke-your bottom half will grow back.
-Haku: Just because my genitals were blasted off in a freak accident doesn't mean I'm female!
-Sasuke: I'm seeing triple.
-Gaara to all female characters: You only need two of my balls to make any wish you want!
-Dr. Brown (Back to the Future): Iruka, we must go back in time to stop the androids and reunite your parents at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance!!
-*Kakashi scalps Zabuza*:You won't be needing this!!
-Naruto: Maybe it's about time I settled down and started working on that novel I've wanted to do. After all, that Sasuke jealousy thing is getting a bit old.
-Neji: Ever since that accident at the bubble gum factory, my life hasn't been the same since.
-Naruto: It displeases me that you underestimate my managerial potential. I have you know that in addition to my expansive knowledge of the martial arts, I also have a Ph.D. in computer engineering. So excuse me as I seek my pursuit for an occupation elsewhere.
-*Naruto watches porno*: Oh no, It can't be!! *Kakashi's on screen with Ino, Sakura, and Shikamaru while Funimation music plays in background*
-Gaara to Hinata: Look at the size of this booger!!
-Zabuza: "I don't need anybody else, cause when I think of Kakashi I touch myself."
-3rd Hokage-Hi kids!
-Sakura and Naruto- Hi Uncle Bill!
-3rd Hokage-Listen, I've got a surprise for you two...
-Sakura-Chocolate cake?
-Naruto-With marshmallows?
-3rd Hokage-No, this surprise is about my nose. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to get myself a nose ring.
-Sakura and Naruto- **Stunned silence** (ala Nick-at-Night commercial)
-Kakashi- Dad, I have to say one thing after all these years together. BEER ME!!!
-Naruto- Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Naruto-Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Gai-**Blasts Sasuke** Coors
-Zabuza-**holding up 2 fingers** Peace man.
-Iruka -Propecia! It worked for me, it'll work for you!! **cheesy grin**
-Background voices- Proooopecia!
-Naruto-**Relating his past life** And then when I was 10 I got contact from a lady-man alien saying that I'll fight him one day and so I says to him, I says...
-Sakura- Oh shut up and kiss me!!
-Naruto- That's right!!!! How did you know??
-Sakura- Ummmmm.... Forget it.
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji- She's just mad about me
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji-An' she's just mad about me
-Everybody- They call me mellow yellow..... They call me mellow yellow....
-Ino- Shikamaru, what time is it?
-Shikamaru- Why Ino, it's time to play "What's in my Pants?"
-Kakashi- **Leans closer to the T.V.** Oh, I love this show!!!
-Naruto-I'm off to join a band savage of circus clowns!! **Walks out the door**
-Kakashi- Just be back before 10...
-Konohamru- Ooooh, I am the strongest in Naruto!! No one can beat meeeeeee!!
'Cause I'm the strongest, stronger than anyone, strongest in Naruto!!!!
-Naruto- Think you can back those words up?
-Konohamru-HAAAAAAIIII- YA!!!! **slams Naruto in the gut** HOW DO YA LIKE THEM APPLES??!!!!
-Naruto-**Doubles over and falls down**
On a Dating Show....
-Sakura- Bachelor #1, I like looooong strolls in the moonlight. What do you enjoy?
-Iruka- Well, I get turned on by making animal noises.
-Sakura-Oooookay... Bachelor #2, If I gave you $20, what would you spend it on?
-Naruto- I'd buy a rabid pit bull!!!!
-Sakura- Why?
-Naruto- 'Cause I get turned on by danger!!!
-Sakura- Ooookay then.... Bachelor #3, what turns you on?
-Kakashi- SAKURA??!!!!
-**Hinata**- You know, I'm really just getting sick of this silent role.
-Naruto: "I want cherries in my Bud-Light Kakashi!
-Kakashi: "I always wanted to see my daddy again. <starts to cry..>I miss him a lot and I WANT HIM BBAACCKKK.. huhhhuhuuuhhuhu!
-Naruto: "Sasuke dear, would you please take this glass over to Kakashi and ask him if we can borrow some milk please?
-Sasuke: "Why yes dear! Anything to help my beautiful human (which I adore..) husband, in fact I'll get over there as soon as possible, just for you!"
-Sakura and Naruto- Hi Uncle Bill!
-3rd Hokage-Listen, I've got a surprise for you two...
-Sakura-Chocolate cake?
-Naruto-With marshmallows?
-3rd Hokage-No, this surprise is about my nose. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to get myself a nose ring.
-Sakura and Naruto- **Stunned silence** (ala Nick-at-Night commercial)
-Kakashi- Dad, I have to say one thing after all these years together. BEER ME!!!
-Naruto- Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Naruto-Bud
-Kakashi-Wise
-Sasuke-Er
-Gai-**Blasts Sasuke** Coors
-Zabuza-**holding up 2 fingers** Peace man.
-Iruka -Propecia! It worked for me, it'll work for you!! **cheesy grin**
-Background voices- Proooopecia!
-Naruto-**Relating his past life** And then when I was 10 I got contact from a lady-man alien saying that I'll fight him one day and so I says to him, I says...
-Sakura- Oh shut up and kiss me!!
-Naruto- That's right!!!! How did you know??
-Sakura- Ummmmm.... Forget it.
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji- She's just mad about me
-Gaara- I'm just mad about Saffron
-Neji-An' she's just mad about me
-Everybody- They call me mellow yellow..... They call me mellow yellow....
-Ino- Shikamaru, what time is it?
-Shikamaru- Why Ino, it's time to play "What's in my Pants?"
-Kakashi- **Leans closer to the T.V.** Oh, I love this show!!!
-Naruto-I'm off to join a band savage of circus clowns!! **Walks out the door**
-Kakashi- Just be back before 10...
-Konohamru- Ooooh, I am the strongest in Naruto!! No one can beat meeeeeee!!
'Cause I'm the strongest, stronger than anyone, strongest in Naruto!!!!
-Naruto- Think you can back those words up?
-Konohamru-HAAAAAAIIII- YA!!!! **slams Naruto in the gut** HOW DO YA LIKE THEM APPLES??!!!!
-Naruto-**Doubles over and falls down**
On a Dating Show....
-Sakura- Bachelor #1, I like looooong strolls in the moonlight. What do you enjoy?
-Iruka- Well, I get turned on by making animal noises.
-Sakura-Oooookay... Bachelor #2, If I gave you $20, what would you spend it on?
-Naruto- I'd buy a rabid pit bull!!!!
-Sakura- Why?
-Naruto- 'Cause I get turned on by danger!!!
-Sakura- Ooookay then.... Bachelor #3, what turns you on?
-Kakashi- SAKURA??!!!!
-**Hinata**- You know, I'm really just getting sick of this silent role.
-Naruto: "I want cherries in my Bud-Light Kakashi!
-Kakashi: "I always wanted to see my daddy again. <starts to cry..>I miss him a lot and I WANT HIM BBAACCKKK.. huhhhuhuuuhhuhu!
-Naruto: "Sasuke dear, would you please take this glass over to Kakashi and ask him if we can borrow some milk please?
-Sasuke: "Why yes dear! Anything to help my beautiful human (which I adore..) husband, in fact I'll get over there as soon as possible, just for you!"
-Kakashi - Screw you, dad!
-Kakashi - I hope no one notices my comb-over...
-Naruto - Hey, can someone help me find my clown shoes and rubber nose?
-Ino - Ooh, Shikamaru, that feels gooood....
-Ino - School bites, I'm gonna become a PRO WRESTLER! WOOO!!!
-Kakashi - Well, Naruto, it's like this. You're a wuss. Plain and simple.
-Kakashi - I hope no one notices my comb-over...
-Naruto - Hey, can someone help me find my clown shoes and rubber nose?
-Ino - Ooh, Shikamaru, that feels gooood....
-Ino - School bites, I'm gonna become a PRO WRESTLER! WOOO!!!
-Kakashi - Well, Naruto, it's like this. You're a wuss. Plain and simple.
::In a movie theater::
-Bond- The name's Bond, James Bond.
::Later at Sasuke's home::
-Sasuke- The name's.... uh..... Itachi, what's my last name?
-Zabuza- Maybe I should open up a "Slice off Body Parts" booth at the fair. It'd let people get rid of pent up frustration
-TV Announcer- Hinata has become the new MVP!
-Kakashi- Leggo my Eggo!
-Naruto- Uh... no.
-Kakashi- Chidori...
-Naruto- Here! Take it!
::looking in fridge::
-Naruto- Beer? Who put this in here? Finally, something better than those freakin' sports drinks! ::Chugs it down::
::Later, when Naruto is practicing a jutsu::
-Naruto- Ug... urkk...... ::Spews in midair and spins repeatedly through it::
::Hinata knocks on Iruka and Sakura's bedroom door::
-Sakura- Go away! We're... uh..... sparring!
-Hinata- Let me watch!
::Opens the door::
-Hinata- AHHH!!!!!
-Kakashi- Okay, I'm in for a game. Anyone got dice?
::Everyone stares at Naruto::
-3rd Hokage- If Naruto uses the Sexy-jutsu to much, it might destroy him!
-Naruto- Sexy no Jutsu times 50!!! *BOOM*
::At House:
-Naruto- ::In the bathroom:: -drrrrrr...
-Sakura- What's with him?
-Shikamaru- Heh..... I slipped him some Ex-Lax.
-Sasuke- Kakashi-sensei, are you having a bad hair day?
-Kakashi- Actually, I thought it was a GOOD hair day!
-Jiraiya- Okay, that'll be 5 million credits. Thank you for using Jiraiya's Ninja Cleaners! Come again!
::Back when Obito took the hit For Kakashi and the others::
-Kakashi- Maybe we should actually move out of the way...
-Zabuza- Oh no, my soaps are almost on! Gotta hurry up! ::Chops a hole through Tazuna, Naruto ,Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi's heart:: I'm done!
::When Naruto uses Sexy Jutsu::
-Iruka- ACK! We need some censor bars over here.....
-Kakashi- Hah hah! We were actually in a video game!
-Naruto- Yeah!
-Sakura- Guys, just shut up!
-Sasuke- It was just the Genesis anyway!
-Neji- ReBoot!
-3rd Hokage- Iruka and Kakashi, rents due.
-Sasuke- Dude! What smells so good?!?!?!?!?!
-Gaara- It's comin' right for us!
-Neji- No! my number is not (666) 666-6666! Geez... my parents were idiots.
-Sasuke- No Naruto, you take all the credit....
-Zabuza- I hope you're both wearing clean underwear....
-Naruto- I am!
-Kakashi- Yep, me too!
-Sasuke- Uhh....
-Naruto- Now the Itachi is in HFIL.
-Sasuke- HFIL?
-Kakashi- What's next, EUDK?
-Sasuke- EUDK?
-Kakashi- Think about it. Move the E and D one letter...
-Sasuke- Oh, I get it.... FU
-Naruto- Fudgecicles?
-Gai- Screw you guys, I'm going home...
-Itachi- Kakashi, I... am... uhh.... attracted... to you....
-Sasuke- Holy sh*t!
-Itachi- I'm sorry Sasuke...
-Sasuke- No, this rocks!
-Zabuza- You failed driving lessons! You've failed cooking lessons! Are you gonna fail Math lessons next Itachi?
-Kakashi- Hey Naruto, can I borrow your car?
-Naruto- You can't drive!
-Gai - "Why aren't I on ESPN's '50 Greatest Athletes' list?"
-Rock Lee (singing) - "Come sail away,
Come sail away,
Come sail away with me, lads...."
-Anko - "You're terminated, f***er!"
-Kakashi - "Sakura, never EVER invite that Naruto to our house for Thanksgiving dinner again! That big fat idiot practically ate us out of house and home!"
-Ben Stein - "Welcome back to Win My - Ben Stein's - Money. Of our illustrious contestants, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Naruto, only Naruto here has managed to take away any of my five thousand dollars so far...."
-Iruka - "You know, being Space Ghost's sidekick all of those years really scarred me for life. That's why I spent so much time in the Outback, bleached my hair and got this amazing orange tan."
-Gaara - "Why doesn't Rick Hunter just get Lisa and Minmei in a threesome?"
-Naruto - "I'm an excellent driver-definitely an excellent driver...Wapner in five minutes!"
-Itachi - "BIG POPPA PUMP IN DA HOUSE!!!!!"
-Naruto - "Hit me with that f***ing book again, and I'll turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy-@$$!!!"
-Jiraiya - "I dare you!"
-Squad 7,while walking (in unison)-
"COBRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!"
-Zabuza - "No more, Kakashi! Grant me mercy, I beg of you!"
-Kakashi - "You, who are without mercy, now plead for it yourself? F*** off, already!"
-Haki (pinching his nipples) - "I am as happy as a little girl!"
-Iruka - "Claude Lemieux is such a handsome fellow, don't you think?"
-Sasuke - "Have some cheese!"
-Hinata - "You suck, you jackass!!!"
-Gaara - "So, Rini, you time-travel often?"
-Rock Lee - "I never liked that moon, anyway. It wasn't green enough!"
-Sasuke: (upon looking at last month's survey) Yes! I won!! *jumps around happily and then goes off in search of Naruto*
-Naruto:(upon looking at last month's survey) eep! *counts seconds till Sasuke shows up*
-Naruto:(upon looking at last month's survey) eep! *counts seconds till Sasuke shows up*
-Kakashi: "Zabuza! Stop beating up Naruto's friends! You're making him angry!"
-Naruto: "Of course you are stronger than I, Sasuke, it was meant to be..."
-Jiraiya: "Taxi!"
-Naruto: (Training) "Must *pant* push myself. *pant* Must *pant* become stronger than Kakashi-sensei *pant*....."
-Sasuke:"I better just stay in here... The others can fight Itachi themselves..."
-Kakashi: "Hello, Naruto-Sesnei."
-Ino: (Licking the bottom of one of the hundreds of bowls on the table, belly bulging and soy sauce all over her face) "I'm still hungry Naruto! Bring me more rice!"
-Naruto: (Cooking with one hand and washing dishes frantically with the other) Just a minute! *pant, pant* I'm trying to hurry! *pant*..."
-3rd Hokage: (Counts to ten)
-Naruto: "OH MY KAMI! (Hides his nakedness, having climbed out of a lake) Don't look! Turn away! Geez, I'm so embarrassed!"
-Sasuke: "Naruto... what comes after six?"
-Naruto: "It depends... Are you referring to what occurs next in normal numerical order? Relate to the previous digits; perhaps there is a discernable pattern that must be considered before a feasible answer can be given..."
-Kakashi: "PU! What stinks in here?!"
-Zabuza: (Holding a little stray kitten gently, looking at Haku with the Sad Puppy Face) "Can I keep him? Please?"
-Sasuke: (Rolls on the floor, laughing so hard tears fall from his eyes, pounding his fists on the floor and kicking)
-Kakashi: (Sitting on the floor and hugging himself, rocking back and forth, eyes looking bloodshot and void) "Make them go away... Make them go away... Tell the voices to go away... Make them go away..."
-Iruka: "Stomp through the bees, an' burn through the trees, an' slam in da back o' my Bulldozer!" (ALA "Dragula")
A/N: More to come…Yes, they get stupider…