Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ What's My Age Agan? ❯ What's My Age Again? ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I took her out it was Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
 
Shikamaru heard the doorbell ring. Sighing from actually having to walk to the door and open it, he got up and lazily opened the door.
 
Temari walked in and grinned.

We started making out and she took off my pants
 
Temari pushed him on the couch and started making out, slowly removing the clothes.

But then I turned on the TV
 
Shikamaru's hand crawled over to the remote and clicked it on, slowly edging away from Temari, who had been trying to make out with him.
 
Temari stopped.
 
“What the hell are you doing.”
 
“Must…watch…”
 
She let go now and slowly started to get up.
 
Shikamaru, finally free, got up and sat in the lazy boy chair.
 
“One Tree Hill.”

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
 
“For such a genius, you sure are a doofus.” Sasuke said to Shikamaru while throwing a few un-popped kernels at him, followed by tossing another popcorn in his mouth, while watching `One Tree Hill' with Shikamaru, Naruto, Kankuro, Chouji and all the other guys.
 
By now Temari was already gone after having beat him upside the head with her fan and then stomped out of the house.

And are still more amused by TV shows
 
“I know TV's interesting, BUT COME ON!! You could have been laid…” Kankuro said still intent on the show.
 
A few of the guys nodded as they continued to focus on the show and pop more popcorn in their mouth.
 
“You've got some ADD problems Shikamaru…”
 
…and coming from Naruto…that's pretty bad…

What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
 
“DAMN IT, WHY NOT!!”
 
“`Cause you're a creepy guy that plays with dolls, and I will not let my daughter date a creep guy that plays with dolls and wears make up.”
 
“IT'S NOT MAKE UP!! DA—”
 
“Out.” Ino's mom said while putting her foot down while pointing to the door.
 
Frustrated, Kankuro walked out of the house and to his car. THIS WAS REDICULOUS!! He really liked Ino!! Damn it!!!

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
 
Kankuro stepped out of his car and opened the phone booth door. He slid the coins in.
 
“Hello?”
 
“Yes, is this Ms. Yamanaka?” Kankuro asked switching his voice to one of authority.

I said I was the cops
And your husband's in jail
“Yes. This is she.”
 
“Yes, this is the police ma'am. I have some very grave news…”
 
“Yes?? What is it?!?”
 
Kankuro grew quiet and solemn.
 
“I'm afraid…your husband's in…jail…for…”
 
 
This state looks down on sodomy
 
“WHAT THE HELL!! WHO IS THIS?!?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!”
 
“No…I'm sorry ma'am…I'm not kidding…he's really in jail for sticking a banana up Naruto's butt…”

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when your 23
 
“WHO IS THIS?!?! THIS ISN'T FROM THE POLICE PRECINCT!! IT SAYS IT'S FROM SOME PHONE BOOTH IN AN AREA CALLED…312 PUPPET LANE!! WHO THE HELL LIVES—”
 
He couldn't hold it in anymore…He began laughing out loud.
 
“IS THIS YOU KANKURO!?! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!!”
 
“You do know that death threats are illegal right?”
 
“ARRGG!”
 
CLICK
 
She hung up.
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is caller ID?
 
“Che…and you call me an idiot…” Shikamaru said, bailing Kankuro out of jail for slander and verbal assault.
 
Naruto nodded as he grudgingly handed over the last of his `future ramen' money.
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
 
Hinata bopped Naruto upside the head when he walked in with Kiba and Chouji. Yeah…she was a shy girl…but Naruto was just being a complete idiot this time…
 
Hinata went to Naruto's kitchen to go pee.

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when your 23
 
FLASHBACK
 
Chouji, Naruto and Kiba as silently as possible jumped out of the window into the dark, all of them wearing black, holding bags full of treasure.
 
“HEY, GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID KIDS!! I'll KILL YOU!! GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE!”
 
They all cringed as a bunch of flashlights came towards them.
 
They all laughed as they continued to run. The guy almost caught them, but it was too late because they jumped over the hedge and were gone before he could catch them.
 
“Why in the hell did we go in there to steal chips again?” Kiba asked huffing from all that running.
 
“…I used all of my money busting Kankuro out of jail…and we were hungry…”
 
“Oh...right…”
 
End FLASHBACK

And you still act like you're in Freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me?
 
Hinata did the -if I had pupils, I would be rolling my eyes right now- motion as Naruto sat back on his couch holding her, after he had told her where he got the food.
 
All the guys shrugged as they all took turns eating chips while laying on the floor watching the next episode of some Korean soap opera.
 
“NO! DON'T DO IT GIRL!! YOUR BETTER THAN HIM! AND SO MUCH HOTTER! DON'T GIVE IT UP YET!”
 
The room got real silent as everyone began to look at Kiba like he had issues.
 
 
“Uhh…just pretend you didn't hear that…”

My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
 
Anko's eye twitched while she was trying to be on a date with Kakashi, but all he did was read that damned book!
 
Kakashi looked up lazily from his book at Anko as she angrily stamped back and forth.
 
“Damn that book of yours KAKASHI!! I SWEAR I'LL TARE IT APART!!”
 
Yeah…right…
 
“YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?? GRR! I'LL SHOW YOU!”
 
As Anko continued to try and grab the evil book from hell, Kakashi just kept dodging, as if she wasn't there…keeping JUST far enough away to let her keep trying, but not close enough to actually get it. Man it was fun to tease her…
 
“GAHH! THAT BOOK'LL BURN IN HELL!”
 
Kakashi decided to look up, just in time for his eyes to widen at the sight of a pissed off Anko with a blowtorch.
 
“AHAHAHAHAHA!!”

That's about the time she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
 
Yes!! SHE KILLED THE BOOK!! BUAHAHAHA!!
 
Kakashi stood there, a bit scorched, as she continued on about her awesome and glorious victory.
 
SIGH
 
“I guess my work here is done—”
 
Kakashi lazily pulled out another—exact same as the last—book.
 
“GOD DAMN IT! WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT BOOK?!?!?!”
 
Before Kakashi could stop her, Anko tilted the book and looked at the pages.
 
“KAKAAAASSHHIIII!!! I'LLL KILLL YYYOOOUUUU!!”
 
“…aww…I love you too.” He said, leaning over and kissing her.
 
The evil book fell down showing what he was reading…or…looking at…
 
It was naked pictures of Anko…

I never want to act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?