Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet ❯ Ranma Omake Special ( Chapter 6 )

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* We interrupt your regularly scheduled chapter *

* of 'Why Sailor Pluto Hates The Bet' to bring *

* you an Omake that got just a LITTLE bit out out *

* of hand. This is a public service announcement *

* brought to you by the random Ranma/Sailor Moon *

* crossover generator. Consider yourselves warned. *

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... Ok, so maybe I have a LITTLE bit too much time on my hands.

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon

Ranma 1/2

"Dark Eyes"

-=- or -=-

'OOCness by Woods on a Snowy Evening: How NOT to write a fanfic'

A P.H. Wise Production

stillwell_phw@hotmail.com

Brought to you in part by the Ranma/Sailor Moon crossover challenge

--=- The Rolls -=--

A. In these crossovers, an opening song is far more important than

a plot.

6) Turn on the radio (whatever station it's already on) and start

writing!

Ochi chernye - Russian Red Army Choir

(Ok, even though it WAS set to the classical station, I'm still not sure

how the heck I got this song. The music sounds somewhat depressing.

Here are the lyrics. I've done my best to translate them. Alas, my best

is not quite good enough, as I don't speak Russian and haven't a clue as

to how close I am to an accurate translation... but the places I've

tried to post it won't display the lyrics in pure Russian for some

reason. ^.^

~Eyes black, eyes burning

Eyes passionate and fine

As I love you as am afraid of you

To know I has seen of you I not at kind o'clock

Eyes black, eyes are ardent

And they in the countries

Where reigns love where reigns rest

Where there is no, where enmity an interdiction

Eyes black, eyes burning

Eyes passionate and fine

As I love you as am afraid of you

To know I has seen of you I not at kind o'clock

would not meet you, would not suffer so

I would live life you me

eyes black

Have carried away my happiness for one century.

Eyes black, eyes burning

Eyes passionate and fine

As I love you as am afraid of you

To know I has seen of you I not at kind o'clock~

B. Roll for the pretense. (note: don't mistake this for a plot!)

1) Ranma is a SailorScout! (use table BB)

- Ranma is Sailor Saturn!

AA. Ranma is a Scout Table

1) Ranma is permanantly Ranko

C. Ranma's entrance (a sub-plot that is more important than any

actual plot).

4) Ranma moves in with his mother, Nodoka lives in Juuban.

D. Plot

3) The return of an old enemy. (JADEITE!)

E. Ranma's fiancees are:

4) I'm hungry, so I'll skip the fiancee's. (Covered in author's notes.)

F. This story:

5) Takes place after canon Ranma. (Ok, I fudged this a teeny bit)

G. Ranma's Relationships Table-1:

3) Sailor Jupiter secretly loves Ranma, and gets him! (Guess Rei-chan

was right to be worried about Mako-chan's crush on Haruka...)

H. Plot-twist Table:

2) If not already taken by Ranma - Sailor Mars has relations with Sailor

Moon. (Chris Davies must be leaping for joy right now.)

CC. Relative Table

3. Cousins - Sailor Mars (gee, who hasn't seen THIS before?)

~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma sat on the roof of the Tendo Dojo performing an act that

many would view as completely and utterly OOC: he was thinking. Yes,

Ranma was thinking. To be specific, SHE (important plot point #1!) was

thinking about the failed wedding attempt. Akane hadn't taken it well

that her parents were trying to marry her off to a girl, which was what

Ranma was full time now. She had been stuck as a girl ever since the

battle with Saffron. Some funky rune had appeared on her forehead and

granted her the much needed boost in power that she had needed to win

(important plot point #2!!!). Come to think of it, it had also allowed

her to bring Akane back from the dead. Weird. Oh, yeah, she was a girl

now. Well, crap. This sucked. How was she going to be a man amongst men

if she was stuck as a girl? She was going to have to commit seppuku!

This SUCKED! It sucked so much that even light could not escape! It

SUUUUUUUUCKED!!!! She didn't want to be a girl! Unfortunately, she was

stuck - Jusenkyou was gone and surgery was far too expensive.

Shrugging faintly (and having angsted nicely), Ranma turned her

gaze back towards the Tendo Dojo. The craziness had not ceased since

the failed wedding attempt. Well, except for the fact that most of her

fiancées had... hrm, I'll write this part later. I'm hungry.

She was getting really tired of the craziness that made up her

life, and she was quite ready to leave at this point. The only she could

talk to - the only one who understood her - was Kasumi, but in the

aftermath of the failed wedding, Kasumi had married Doctor Tofu (who had

mysteriously reappeared with no explanation as to why he had vanished for

such an extended period of time). At this point, the only thing that was

preventing Ranma from moving off to Juuban and living with her mother (or

maybe her cousin Rei, who lived in the same area with her lesbian lover

Usagi) was that single most defining aspect of her character: her sense

of honour. Ranma frowned deeply, considering her options. Should she

abandon the only thing that she believed in and show herself to be just

as honourless as her father, simply running away to leave everyone else

to deal with her problems?

...

...

...

Yeah, that sounded about right.

On that note, she employed the Saotome secret technique (read: ran away)

and vanished into the night, headed for the Juuban district.

********

Meanwhile, in the ruined remains of the Dark Kingdom, Jadeite

smirked evilly as he stepped out from behind a pillar. Beryl's long

abandoned throne stood empty before him, and his smirk was great in

its smirkiness. So intense was his smirk that surely even the likes of

Freiza, possessed of no small talent in the area of smirkiness

him(her?)(it?)self, would have smirked to see it. Still, his

smirkiness, despite being far in excess of what one would expect -

in fact, if one were to make an estimation of his smirkiness simply

by looking at him, one would think it were a level far below what it

is, in fact at - was nothing compared to the likes of Freiza.

Freiza's left hand held more smirkiness than Jadeite's left hand.

Its right arm held more smirkiness than Jadeite's right arm. Its

foot also held more smirkiness than Jadeite's entire leg. In fact,

even Freiza's little toe, freakishly small due to a genetic birth

defect, held more smirkiness than Jadeite's entire body. So

Jadeite, how does it feel to know that Freiza's deformed little toe

Holds more smirkiness than you have in your entire body?

...

Forgive me, I seem to have gotten a little carried away. Where was I?

...

Ah yes!

"Here lies Queen Beryl," smirked Jadeite. "And good riddance. How

can anyone be as stupid as that, I wonder? Did she really think she

could defeat me in our epic battle of wills? ... or wait, did she really

think she could encase me in eternal crystalline sleep? Damn, I don't

remember anymore. But she thought I was dead. ALL those fools thought I

was dead." He began to laugh. "But they didn't realize that it was

really ME pulling the strings behind the Dark Kingdom ALL ALONG!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And now that Metallia and Death Phantom are gone, I

shall have my TRUE body summoned to earth that I might bring everything

to nothing! If I can just open up the door to the Tau Ceti star system,

I can bring about the Silence!!!"

His voice echoed off into the distance, the resonance of the

caverns taking his voice to the far ends of what was left of the Dark

Kingdom. He stood there a bit, his cape (which had inexplicably

appeared on him out of nowhere) billowing dramatically in the

nonexistent head-wind before it occurred to him to go on. "But first, I

must figure out why exactly I'm ranting to an empty cavern."

He thought about that one for a moment before shrugging helplessly.

"Or not."

But such things are beyond our ken - we cannot hope to comprehend

the genius of one such as Jadeite; he's more smarter than we know.

Smirking evilly to himself, Jadeite vanished.

**********

Ranma arrived at Nodoka's home in Juuban just in time to remember

the seppuku contract. However, seeing as how she had come all this way

and was very hungry, she figured that at the least she could go and

sponge off her mother as Ranko Tendo. It was only after she had walked

n in and greeted her mother that she remembered that Nodoka already

knew about the curse. Fortunately, Nodoka was quite understanding about

the whole thing.

"No big deal, RanKO," said Nodoka. "I guess I'll divorce that fat

panda of a father that you have, then, and take up my maiden name of

Tomoe." She paused a moment, as if considering something. "Oh by the

way, I'm sorry about the whole sepukku thing. My bad. I was really just

joking, you know. Come, daughter, I will show you how to be happy and

live a fulfilling life as a woman."

Ranko nodded in happy agreement, her eyes glowing red and taking on

a vacuous expression as she said, "Okay, mom!"

***later***

Ranko giggled as she twirled about in her yellow sundress. It was soooooo

kawaii!!!!! She just LOVED how pretty it made her! Surely the boys would

notice her now! "Oh, being a girl really IS more fulfilling than being a

boy. Thanks, mom! I can't wait to start trying on naughty outfits and

grabbing myself a boyfriend or six!"

Nodoka nodded sagely. "Indeed, Ranko."

At that point Ranko blinked, and the dull red glow in her eyes faded

away. "Hey, what am I saying!? I'm a GUY! And I'm RanMA! What the heck

is going on here!?"

Nodoka frowned. 'Oh my,' she thought, 'the possession isn't taking quite

as well as I would have hoped. I will have to weaken his will if

Mistress 9 is to take control.' Aloud, she said, "I know you're confused.

You're sick, Ranko. Come down to my evil spooky laboratory and I'll help

you to get better."

Ranma nodded reluctantly. "Alright mom... if you say it, I guess I

believe you. You know, even with you trying to make me act like a girl

and what with the evil spooky laboratory... thanks, mom. I love you!"

Nodoka grinned. "I love you too, daughter," she said, and though Ranma

flinched at being called 'daughter,' she didn't seem to notice. And as

she led her now-daughter towards her evil spooky laboratory, her form

became shadowed, and her glasses gleamed brightly.

*THE END (thank God)*

... FOR NOW!!!! (aieee!)

-- Author's notes --

I had planned to write out a scene detailing the reactions of Ranma's

fiancées, and how they all cursed themselves with Nannichuan (except

for Akane, who just insisted that she didn't want to have anything to do

with that pervert) in order that they might still produce an heir, but

then I got hungry and then forgot about it. Oh well.

Furthermore, I may or may not expand this little omake into a full

fledged story. I'm not sure yet. Furthermore, in its final form, it

may or may not be a parody (if not, then it certainly will NOT include

'the all-powerful Jadeite').

THE ROLLS!!!

A. In these crossovers, an opening song is far more important than

a plot.

6) Turn on the radio (whatever station it's already on) and start writing!

Ochi chernye - Russian Red Army Choir

B. Roll for the pretense. (note: don't mistake this for a plot!)

1) Ranma is a SailorScout! (use table BB)

- Ranma is Sailor Saturn!

AA. Ranma is a Scout Table

1) Ranma is permanantly Ranko

C. Ranma's entrance (a sub-plot that is more important than any

actual plot).

4) Ranma moves in with his mother, Nodoka lives in Juuban.

D. Plot

3) The return of an old enemy. (JADEITE!)

E. Ranma's fiancees are:

4) I'm hungry, so I'll skip the fiancee's. (Covered in author's notes.)

F. This story:

5) Takes place after canon Ranma. (Ok, I fudged this a teeny bit)

G. Ranma's Relationships Table-1:

3) Sailor Jupiter secretly loves Ranma, and gets him! (Guess Rei-chan was

right to be worried about Mako-chan's crush on Haruka...)

H. Plot-twist Table:

2) If not already taken by Ranma - Sailor Mars has relations with

Sailor Moon. (w00t! Everyone cheer for kinky lesbian sex! Wait, it's

not a lemon. Damn.)

CC. Relative Table

3. Cousins - Sailor Mars (gee, who hasn't seen THIS before?)