Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Shinji Saotome ❯ Chapter 9 - Ranma's Old Buddy ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9 - Ranma's Old Buddy

Dinnertime at the Tendo's

Genma snatched another rice ball from his son's plate.

Ranma simply continued blowing her burned hands.

As Shinji had predicted, Ranma found out about the catch of training in the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken once she'd thrust her hands into the fire. That had been ten minutes before dinner and her hands _still_ felt like they were on fire.

Genma snatched a pickle from her plate.

Ranma glowered. The nerve of that panda! One swift kick and a wet panda sat blinking in the koi-pond.

He raised a sign.

"What did I do now?"

Kasumi gave Genma-panda a stern look.

"Now Mr. Saotome, it's not nice to steal food from your son when he can't defend himself. And please stay outside until you're dry Mr.Saotome."

Genma-panda, who was just in the process of stepping onto the front porch, sulked and walked away. Now he couldn't eat more of Kasumi's wonderful food!

`Oh well, can't have everything'.

Genma-panda quickly started consuming the pile of bamboo that was provided for this kind of situation. It was better than nothing.

Several minutes later a very tired looking Shinji wobbled into the living room and collapsed next to the dinner table.

"Sorry I'm late for dinner."

Nabiki looked at Shinji with unveiled curiosity and just a little bit of concern.

"You don't look all that well. What happened?"

Shinji stopped helping himself to some of Kasumi's food and looked Nabiki straight in the eye.

"I'll give you some advice: never _ever_ get on Cologne's bad side."

Nabiki rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, but what does the old woman have to do with anything?"

Shinji wolfed down a rice ball before replying.

"I take it Ranma has already told you about the full body cat's tongue?"

Several nods confirmed Shinji's question.

"Well, let's just say he isn't the only one with that little problem now."

Stunned silence followed that statement.

Kasumi was the first to recover.

"Oh my! Why would she do something like that? Haven't you told me that Spice and Pepper agreed to let you make your own decision on who you will marry?"

Nabiki stared at Kasumi. She hadn't known anything about that. Strangely enough knowing that Shinji had confided in Kasumi but not in her made her jealous(?) of her sister. She quickly squashed the unwelcome sensation, writing it of as irrational.

Ranma, on the other hand wasn't feeling jealous, she was feeling angry.

"Why did the old ghoul do that? It's not like Spice and Pepper are honour bound to marry you, so she has no right to pressure you into anything!"

Shinji sighed.

"Well, after you left I had to go and open my stupid mouth, which somehow gave her the idea afflicting me with the full body cat's tongue would be fun. She said I had the same options as you; either I manage to steal the pill from her or she will reverse it if I marry Pepper and Spice."

"No problem, we will have the needed technique mastered faster than the old ghoul can say `Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken'!"

Shinji snorted.

"Ranma, stop pretending. You may be able to get this technique down, but there's no way I'll be able to master it in the near future. I mean, you've seen how fast she is and I'm not even at one third of your speed! I'll just have to cope with being a girl for a few years."

A flying sign thwacked Shinji into the head from behind. He looked outside to see Genma in Panda form growling at him. Shinji looked at the sign.

`Stop bitching like a little girl. No son of mine will back down from any challenge even if he is only adopted. You will master that technique no matter WHAT!'

Ranma briefly wondered how it was physically possible to write so much onto such a small sign but wrote it off as unimportant. Instead she nodded her head solemnly.

"The fat Panda has a point for once Shinji. There's no point in giving up before you even try. Besides, the fact that pop is actually _working_ in the dojo now to get some money in shows that _nothing_ is impossible!"

Genma-panda hurled another sign in Ranma's direction, who plucked it out of the air.

`What's that supposed to mean boy?'

Ranma smirked at the panda.

"Exactly what you think it means lazy old man!"

`I will teach you some manners boy!'

Ranma smirked even more as she rushed her father, the meal and Shinji forgotten for now.

"We'll just hafta see about that old man!"

Inside Shinji could only smile. Ranma was probably right. He should at least give it a shot and see what would happen.

On the other side of the table Akane couldn't help but give Ranma some grudging respect. He sure as hell knew how to cheer up his brother:

Shinji had come in with the face of someone damned to land in hell, but now he was smiling again, thanks to Ranma.

Next to her, Nabiki thanked god Ranma managed to convince Shinji to try and get his male body back, it would have been a shame otherwise.

`What the hell?'

The next moment the part of her brain that was labelled `reason' was busy clobbering the part called `libido' with a mallet that had stencilled `he's three years younger then me' on it. Surprisingly `libido' withstood the attack for nearly 30 seconds.

Kasumi simply watched as Ranma and her father fought. She/He looked so graceful while fighting.

A small frown creased her forehead for a moment.

Ever since Shinji and Ranma had come into her life, thoughts like that were getting very hard to suppress, especially around the older Saotome brother. She had a very good relation to both of them, but Ranma's wild and free nature was drawing her to him in a totally different manner than Shinji's shy and considerate attitude.

Maybe it was time to act on Shinji's advice to get herself a life .........with Ranma as the starting stone.

Next to the three Tendo daughters, Soun was still wailing about the fact that the schools couldn't be joined with both Saotome boys stuck in female form. The fact that Shinji was still male at the moment had fortunately slipped his mind (1). Then he saw Kasumi frowning and started crying even more.

"WAAAAAH MY BABY GIRL IS UNHAPPY!"

Naturally, he was ignored by everyone

*********************

Ranma was once again sitting before an open fire trying to catch the chestnuts she had thrown in earlier, even though her hands were already blistering red and hurting like hell.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

Once again her hands shot into the fire, only to be withdrawn hastily.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, hot, hot, hot!"

Shinji could only shake her head in resignation while her older brother…sister kept jumping around in the yard cursing up a storm. She had tried to convince Ranma that training in the technique like that would get them nowhere, but Ranma had been as stubborn as ever and refused to back down from this approach. The redhead had been doing this for two days now, but she wasn't one step closer to mastering the technique. Shinji herself hadn't trained the last days but had done some thinking instead on how to best train in this technique and had come up with something that might just work.

Of course, a certain Panda hadn't been pleased about that and had dumped him in the koi-pond a day ago, forcing Shinji to be stuck in his cursed form, supposedly to `make him realize his situation'.

"That's it! I'm sick of this. There has to be another way to do this!"

Shinji couldn't help but smirk at Ranma's sudden outburst. It was a mystery to her why Ranma always tried things the hard way.

"Maybe you're open to a few suggestions now?"

Ranma sighed. It galled her to no end to admit that Shinji was right. Her brother, who was her sister for the time being, had told her from the beginning this wouldn't work but she hadn't listened as usual.

At least Shinji wasn't the type to rub it in.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't listen from the beginning. I'm listening now though."

Shinji smiled.

"Good. Why don't you go to the dojo, I'll be with you in a few minutes."

*********************

Several minutes later Shinji walked into the dojo carrying a huge bag of what Ranma thought was confetti. Ranma gave Shinji a searching look.

"What the hell do we need confetti for?"

Shinji opened the bag and took out a handful of confetti, a little bit of it falling to the floor.

"The principle of the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken training is to get the chestnuts out of the fire before you burn yourself. In other words, finish something faster than something else happens, right?"

Ranma nodded. That was it in a nutshell.

"Well, I simply used the same principle on something else."

Quickly Shinji threw the confetti she was still holding into the air, causing the little pieces to be scattered in every direction. Then her hands started shooting out, trying to catch as much of the confetti as possible.

A lot of it ended up on the floor, but Ranma understood perfectly.

"Dammit Shinji, you're a real genius sometimes, you know that! All we have to do is to try and catch all of it before it hits the ground, and if we can do that we can always use more to make it more difficult!"

Shinji smiled, happy that Ranma, Ranma, the local martial arts god, was actually complementing her on thinking up this training method.

"Thanks."

Ranma grinned.

"No problem bro, but before we start…I have been forgetting about your training the last two days!"

Shinji groaned as Ranma got _that_ glint in her eyes again.

*******************

Ukyo Kuonji desperately tried to get some feeling back into her cold hands by rubbing them together. She was currently clad in a very thick coat and glowering at the new bane of her existence: Ryouga Hibiki

Said boy tried his best to ignore the death-glare that was directed at him since they had been sitting in the cave they were currently occupying to weather the blizzard that was raging on outside. Something that was very typical for Siberia.

Yes that's right, I said Siberia.

Ryouga had needed to go to the toilet and Ukyo, who had known about his bad sense of direction by then had simply let him go. Once she had realized her mistake she had sprinted after his form, which was already far away from the toilets.

In hindsight, Ukyo had to admit sprinting after someone like Ryouga while not watching where you are going is a bad idea. She was still wondering how they had crossed the ocean without seeing a single drop of water...

At least she could hope to get back to Nerima as fast as they had gone to Siberia with Ryouga's help.

Just for good measure Ukyo turned up her glare a little.

Ryouga flinched.

`Note to self: Do not stop concentrating on your way just because you need to go to the restroom!'

******************

The Cat Café

"But Shampoo not want to go to school!" Whined Shampoo in the most annoying voice she could muster.

Cologne stared her down from her perch on the table she was currently standing on with her staff.

"I will not repeat myself Great-granddaughter. You will go to school to learn more about this country's culture and work on your language skills. The youngest Saotome had the right idea to start teaching you a little on the side. And it's `I don't want to go to school', Shampoo!"

Shampoo looked down.

"Okay, Shampoo…I will go to school, but I still don't like it. Shampoo…I will only learn unnecessary things in stupid building!"

"And you will see your airen everyday because you will go to the same class."

As Cologne had predicted, that statement brightened up her heir immediately.

"Maybe school is not so bad when airen around! I will go buy my school uniform!"

Shampoo was nearly out the door when Cologne spoke again.

"It's when airen _is_ around Shampoo!"

The purple haired bundle of energy whirled around and stuck out her tongue before quickly shutting the door.

Cologne ignored her heir's immature actions, deciding to punish her later, and turned her attention to the other occupants of the room: Spice and Pepper.

"I hope the two of you won't start complaining to me like my great-granddaughter did just now, will you?"

Pepper and Spice shook their head energetically, their long hair bouncing with the fast movements.

"No. We would very much like to go to school elder. That way we can learn new things and be with airen…Shinji more often."

"That's right, and we will always make him something tasty to eat for lunch!"

"Maybe we can ask him to help us with schoolwork!"

Cologne held up her hand before the twins would really start ranting.

"That's good to know girls. Why don't you hurry up and follow Shampoo to get your school uniforms?"

Pepper and Spice nodded once and were out the door the next moment.

Once she was alone Cologne sighed heavily. Pepper and Spice had a good grasp on how to make Shinji fall for them, but Shampoo was too aggressive for her own good.

True, the situation Shampoo was in called for it, but Cologne was already sure that there was no way to pressure Ranma into marriage short of turning him into a vegetable, which was not an option.

Cologne had observed the boy a few days back as he had tried to learn the technique with steely determination and without the slightest hint of accepting defeat.

Nonetheless he had finally given up on the traditional method of training and accepted his brother's help, who hadn't been training the days before as far as she could tell.

After that the boys had been training inside the dojo, so she didn't know what Shinji came up with. It made her very curios….

Frankly, she hadn't planned on that. Originally she had been sure the two of them would come crawling to her doorstep for help. She would have given them help…by working them like slaves once she had gotten them to waitress for her.

That would have been a lot of fun!

`Oh well, you can't have everything Ku Lon.'(2)

******************

Several minutes later Kasumi stopped in front of the Cat Café and hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was really such a good idea.

Was getting a chance with Ranma really this important to her? After all, she hadn't hooked up with Dr. Tofu either.

`Don't be silly Kasumi. You know well and good that it wouldn't ever work out with Tofu the way he behaves, but this is your chance!'

She winced slightly at her turn of thoughts. Ranma wasn't just a chance for her; she really liked the brash young man and wanted to see if they could make it work between them. That she was also taking Shinji's advice to get out of the house with that was purely coincidental…really.

It sounded doubtful, even to her.

Then she firmed her resolve and knocked.

`If you want to find out, you have to try!'

Moments later Cologne's raspy voice came from the inside.

"The Cat Café is closed right now, please come back tomorrow!"

"It's Kasumi Tendo. I wanted to talk to you elder Ku Lon."

The door was opened and something that deeply disturbed Kasumi peered back at her from the open hallway. Shinji had told Kasumi about the elder Amazon, the fact that she loved being called elder and the fact that she was butt ugly.

Frankly, Kasumi thought Shinji had paid the shrivelling dead body that was hopping around on a cane (3) quite the compliment with that butt ugly remark.

Of course, on the outside she stayed the epitome of tranquillity just like she didn't even notice Cologne's `looks'.

"Good evening elder Ku Lon." The girl said pleasantly while bowing deeply.

Cologne would have done the same but balancing on a cane kind of made that impossible.

"Likewise Kasumi Tendo. You might want to call me Cologne child; I imagine that's a lot easier on your Japanese tongue. But where are my manners? Please come in child so we can talk."

Kasumi nodded her thanks and soon the two of them where seated on a table inside the restaurant. This time Cologne spoke up because Kasumi seemed very nervous.

"Now, what can I do for you child?"

Kasumi swallowed her nervousness. What harm was there in asking? If this didn't work she would just leave Ranma alone…at least that was the plan.

"Shinji and Ranma have told me about the situation your great-granddaughter is in concerning Ranma and I wanted to ask if there may be a loophole in your laws that would allow Shampoo to stop pursuing Ranma without loss of honour for herself."

Cologne smiled at the girl.

"So, the young Saotome has caught your attention as well child?"

Kasumi looked down in shame, the elder had seen right through her

"Do not worry child I bear you no ill will and your secret is safe with me. There is nothing to be ashamed of just because you fell for such a fine young man. It is only natural."

Kasumi looked up surprised.

"But what about your great-granddaughter?"

Cologne shrugged her ancient shoulders.

"I'm not saying I like it, I'm just saying that it's all right to feel like this. As for your offer, I'm afraid I don't know of any loopholes in our laws that would enable Shampoo to get out of this without marrying Ranma."

Then she fished around in her luminous robes and pulled out a small book.

"Nonetheless, you are welcome to try and find one child."

Kasumi accepted the small book Cologne held out towards her and read the title in surprise:

`Laws of the Amazon Village of Jusenkyo, first Japanese edition'

She blinked several times.

"If I may ask elder, why are you helping me?"

At Kasumi's question a startling transformation took place in Cologne; the old crone's shoulders slumped, her eyes suddenly looked sad and very tired and her whole posture suddenly showed all of the 300 years she had lived through.

"I'm helping you because I realized this whole mission was doomed to failure from the beginning. I hate to admit it, but this old fossil made a big mistake in coming here. I thought Ranma could be pressured into the tribe, but thanks to his own stubbornness and his other obligations, that sounds very unlikely. It is obvious to me that Ranma has not the slightest interest in my great-granddaughter and that a marriage between these two will be loveless. If you can truly find a loophole, I can sleep peacefully again and my great-granddaughter will once again be free."

Kasumi cocked her head to the side.

"If you know Ranma can't be pressured into marriage, then why are you still trying? And why did you do this to Shinji-kun?"

Cologne reverted back to her old self and winked at Kasumi mischievously.

"Simple child, this way it seems I'm trying to help Shampoo get her man and I can train Ranma and Shinji in techniques they would never be allowed to learn otherwise. It would be a shame to let the potential these two posses go to waste."

"Ranma I can understand elder, but how do you expect Shinji to learn this technique anytime soon? I'm no martial artist but even I can tell that Shinji is years behind Ranma in terms of training. He'll be stuck in female form forever!"

Cologne shook her head.

"You are only partly right child. It is true that Shinji is far behind Ranma in his training, but with sufficient training I would expect him to master the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken in less then two months."

Kasumi gave her a questioning look.

Cologne sighed and elaborated further. She didn't want to tell anybody about this just now, but she liked Kasumi and thought she deserved to know.

"Promise me to keep what I'm about to tell you a secret for now."

Kasumi grew concerned immediately and agreed without hesitation.

"Is something wrong with Shinji-kun elder?"

"I wouldn't say wrong...more like not normal. You must know I'm well versed in reading auras and Shinji's aura is an enigma for me. I do not understand how it is possible, but over the last months his aura has increased nearly five times as much as should have been possible in such a short time. It seems the boy has a hidden well of power that deepens his ki reserves at an astounding rate. During the fight where I inflicted him with the full body cat's tongue, his aura even increased to twice of its already impressive size before I finished the fight. I have a feeling that was the limit of this hidden well of his, but I'm sure he can reach that level of power constantly within 2 months if his aura keeps growing like this."

Kasumi absorbed all of that. She had a feeling her youngest houseguest had a few more surprises like that in store for them. Not that it mattered right now.

"But even if what you say is true elder, Shinji still won't be even half as strong as Ranma!"

Cologne waved her off.

"That's true, but he doesn't need to be nearly as strong as Ranma to master the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. The secret of mastering the technique isn't just pure power, although it is part of it. The most important part of the training is to learn to get more control over your ki. The better someone's control, the less ki is needed to pull it off. And, if nothing else, the youngest Saotome seems to be very controlled."

Kasumi nodded her head in agreement to Cologne's explanation. Two months was a lot of time to spend in the wrong body, but it was better than several years. And if the key was control then Shinji could do it. He was always so calm and quiet and in control of his actions (unless he was in a bout of depression, something that rarely happened lately) that this shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Not that she could have done anything about it otherwise. Cologne didn't strike her as a person you could talk out of a decision. Seeing how she had everything she wanted, Kasumi stood up and bowed.

"Thanks you for sharing this with me elder Cologne, but I need to be going now."

"No problem child. Maybe you could come over sometime in the future? Talking to you has been very pleasant."

"Of course elder, have a nice day."

Cologne wished Kasumi a nice day as well and showed the girl out. Once she was alone again Cologne smiled slightly.

"Maybe there is hope to solve this situation yet….."

******************

Shinji and Ranma, or rather Rei and Ranko as their female form were to be called in public, walked towards school with downtrodden expressions on their faces. They had been training for a whole week without going to school and Soun and Genma had insisted they go to school again.

Both temporary girls had protested saying they couldn't come to school female until Nabiki gave them all the necessary documents to enrol both of them under the name of their female forms. That had ended the argument pretty quickly.

Now both of them dreaded meeting with Kuno, the local nut case. The insane kendoist had taken a fancy to both their female forms the first time he had laid eyes upon them and wouldn't stop harassing them once he knew they were going to his school now.

In addition to that, Shinji was worrying about something else. The last few days Nabiki had grown very inquisitive about her past and was giving her strange looks every now and then.

It had become very hard to evade her questions or make up lies on the fly and Shinji was almost sure Nabiki had found her out.

Further contemplation on that subject was stopped by none other than Kuno

"Ah what magnificent view has befallen my eyes?! The pigtailed girl and the blue haired goddess have come to bask in my glorious presence! I shall date with thee!"

Ranma and Shinji, who had learned by now that it was impossible to get through Kuno's thick skull simply knocked him out cold with a double-teamed attack and proceeded into the building, like they had done yesterday.

*****************

Ranma's classroom

Ranma, or rather Ranko was sitting at her desk bored out of her mind when the teacher came in.

"Students I would like you to meet two new students: Shampoo of the Amazons and Kaori Daikoku! Introduce yourselves."

Ranko watched with dread as Shampoo bounced in front of the class, a bright smile lightening up her face.

"Hello, I am Shampoo and...I am Ranma's wife. If any pervert get near me Shampoo…I will clobber him! Hello airen!" The last line was said while waving in Ranko's direction and the girl couldn't help but bury her head in her arms. This day was going straight to hell.

Once Shampoo was finished Kaori introduced herself.

"Hello, I'm Kaori Daikoku and I hope to make friends with some of you."

Several boys leered at her.

"I would also advise any perverts to stay away from me because I am already involved with someone."

The boys stopped leering.

Once the girls had introduced themselves the lesson began and Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed no one in class had figured out that Shampoo had called her airen because she was Ranma.

Akane, for once, wasn't too angry. Because she had agreed to be Ranma's friend it was quite impossible to be jealous and therefore angry. Nonetheless she was annoyed that Kaori and Shampoo were going to her school now, both of them probably trying to sack their respective love interests, namely Ranma and Shinji.

Kaori didn't notice Akane's glare because she was too busy thinking over Shampoo's introduction. She had only seen the Amazon once before when she had her first confrontation with Pepper and Spice, but even then the purple-haired beauty hadn't spoken a word to her.

Why the Amazon would call the redhead sitting a few seats away her husband was beyond her……

**************************

Meanwhile in Shinji's classroom

"Class, today we have two new transfer students from China: Pepper and Spice."

Shinji watched wide-eyed as the twins came bounding in to stand before the class.

"Hello, we're Spice and Pepper and we hope to learn a lot of interesting things here. Most of all we hope to spent a lot of time with our friend Shinji, though."

Several boys in class cursed loudly and proclaimed Shinji a lucky dog.

Then the other shoe dropped as the twins waved at `Rei'.

"Hello Shinji!!!!!!!"

Needless to say the class was a little confused, while `Rei's' face drained of all colour.

Fortunately the average Nerimian didn't know about Jusenkyo or believe in Magic and the matter took care of itself.

"Why are the new chicks waving at Rei? Doesn't look much like Shinji, does she?" said the class-jock to his friend.

A girl nodded her agreement.

"Yeah, what is it with you two? I would know if Shinji was here, but he's gone on a training trip or something!"

Needless to say Pepper and Spice looked a little puzzled. Shinji was sitting right in the middle of class.

Then it dawned on them. The class didn't know about the curse and now Shinji was posing as someone else!

A look into `Rei's' face confirmed their suspicion and the twins cursed inwardly. First day in school and they had nearly blown Shinji's cover.

"Ah, uhm...sorry about that…it's just that you're the only person we found cute besides Shinji until now so we kind of confused the two of you!"

While Pepper took a deep breath after that hastily made up excuse Spice nodded her head vigorously.

Shinji's left eyebrow started twitching. That had to have been the dumbest explanation they could have come up with. There was no way anybody would buy that one.

"Makes sense! Goddammit, Saotome is so lucky to have two girlfriends who are bi…" Said the class jock.

The rest of the class was quick to agree with him.

Shinji fell out of her chair, twitching faintly

********************

Tendo Dojo - noon the same day.

"Mr. Saotome, there is somebody at the door who wishes to speak with you."

Genma looked up from his game of Shogi he was playing with Soun when he heard Kasumi's voice. It seemed the two men had been so focused on cheating…eh playing, that they hadn't heard the knock on the door.

Genma stood up and moved to the front door, a chance that Soun promptly used to completely alter the board arrangement in his favour.

When Genma reached the door a young man(?) of about 16 was standing there along with Ryouga. Both of them looked like they had been wandering around the wilderness for the last days, which probably wasn't too far off the truth with Ryouga around.

What was causing Genma worry, though, was the gleeful look on Ryouga's face. Ever since Shinji had convinced the runt that Genma was the cause for all of his problems, Genma was wary of the super strong teenager.

"Genma Saotome?" asked the stranger in a baritone voice.

The balding martial artist nodded.

"Yes, that's me. What can I do for you?"

The boy's face twisted into a visage of pure rage and he brought the huge spatula that was on his back to bear.

"I'm Ukyo Kuonji. If you want to do something for me, please stand still!"

Genma's eyes widened in shock and recognition.

"Now, there's no reason to beat me up, I have to teach classes in half an hour!"

*WHACK WHACK CRUNCH WHACK…*

Needless to say, Genma's lousy excuse didn't save his ass this time.

Ryouga watched with satisfaction as Ukyo beat the stuffing out of the idiotic panda.

In his opinion the old fart deserved every beating he could get for some of the things he had done. He just hoped beating up on Ranma's father would make Ukyo's first meeting with Ranma less explosive so that Ranma could explain his side of the story.

*****************

When lunchtime came around Shinji and Ranma found themselves at their usual spot under a shady cherry tree.

With the slight difference that 4 additional females were also present.

Said females had only found them a few seconds ago, which was the reason why Ranma was currently trying valiantly to pry herself out of Shampoo's generous bosom to get some much needed air into her lungs while Shinji was trying to assure the twins that she wasn't angry with them for nearly blowing her cover.

Kaori could only watch the whole scene with growing confusion, especially when Pepper and Spice repeatedly called the blue haired girl Shinji.

"Could somebody please tell me what's going on here? Where are Shinji and Ranma?"

Ranma would have answered, but she was still trapped inside the Amazon glomp from hell so she could only mumble incoherently.

Shinji, who wasn't hindered from speaking by various parts of female anatomy, blinked a couple of times and chuckled in embarrassment. It seemed she had forgotten to tell her fiancée about the curse.

`Uh oh, this could get complicated'

Unfortunately her thought was confirmed when Pepper and Spice started speaking.

"What do you mean? Shinji and Ranma are right here!"

Kaori looked at the twins closely. They seemed serious enough.

"Are you out of your mind?! All I see are two girls!"

The twins blinked.

"You mean you don't know about the curse?"

Kaori looked at them incredulously and started laughing.

"Oh god...ha ha...that's rich…you're…ha ha…trying to tell me Shinji and Ranma are turning into girls?" Then her tone grew louder "What do you take me for, an idiot?!!"

Before the situation could get violent, Shinji stepped between Kaori and the twins.

"Kaori-san, please stay calm. I know this sounds ridiculous, but they are telling the truth. Ranma and I have a curse that turns us into girls every time we get in contact with cold water. Hot water reverses the process."

Kaori looked into the blue-haired girl's eyes. The same dark blue as Shinji's and just as beautiful. The speech pattern and tone was also the same. She didn't believe it, but she would give them the benefit of the doubt.

"All right. Show me this curse of yours and I'll believe it."

Pepper and Spice grabbed Shinji's arms

"You can't show her! Remember the full body cat's tongue!"

Shinji smiled at the twins warmly as a tingling sensation ran through her body. It was nice to be cared for, but this needed to be done. Surely a little hot water wouldn't be too painful, right?

"Sorry girls, but Kaori has a right to see this. She has to know what she's getting herself into." Then she addressed Kaori "If you would please follow me to the bathroom?"

Kaori nodded courtly and the two girls were off, leaving the other four behind.

Once again Ranma would have protested, but thanks to a few cups of ramen Shampoo had produced out of nowhere after letting her go she was currently in food heaven and therefore oblivious to her surroundings.

Shampoo smiled as Ranma devoured her food. Her distraction had worked very well.

In her opinion the sooner Kaori knew about the curse the sooner she would be gone, which would save Pepper, Spice and Shinji a lot of pain in the long run. If that meant playing a few dirty (but highly pleasurable) tricks on her airen, then so be it. The purple haired girl was sure that Kaori would leave once she found out about the curse and she wanted to make sure it happened before Shinji could get overly attached to her.

Seeing how Ranma was still eating Shampoo proceeded to eat her own ramen, joined by Pepper and Spice. Both girls looked worried sick.

"Not to worry about...Shinji. Hot water not hurt him too much!"

The effect of Shampoo's reassuring smile was shattered by the ear-splitting scream that pierced the air the next moment.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Once the scream had stopped and their ears had stopped ringing Pepper and Spice gave Shampoo a dry look.

"We can hear what you mean Shampoo."

Shampoo opted to sweat drop heavily. That sounded really bad…

The scream, which obviously originated from Shinji, also had the effect of rousing Ranma from her feeding frenzy. The redhead was on her feet, looking around frantically.

"What the hell happened? Where is Shinji?"

"Shinji showed Kaori his curse because she didn't know about it yet." supplied a helpful Pepper.

Ranma stared, replayed the last few moments and came to the ultimate conclusion.

"Ouch…."

A few minutes later a shaken looking Kaori and Shinji, in female form, joined them again.

Ranma noted that Shinji's left hand was tinged an angry red.

Pepper and Spice smirked at Kaori.

"Do you believe us now? Do you still want to be Shinji's girlfriend, knowing that he is a she most of the time?"

Kaori glared at them.

"I don't plan on giving him up because of a little curse you little spores. Besides, he already explained to me that changing is only problematic because of this `full body cat's tongue' and I'm pretty sure that condition won't last forever." then looking pointedly at her watch," If you will excuse me, class is starting in a few minutes."

Then the older girl turned on her heel and walked away, but not before pressing a kiss straight onto Shinji's lips, much to Shinji's surprise and the delight of several perverts at school.

In the background a camera flashed and the next moment a girl ran into the school building.

"Thanks for showing me Shinji-kun, This must have hurt a lot."

The blue-haired part-time girl stood there dumbly for a few minutes. It wasn't everyday a boy experienced his first kiss as a girl from a girl. Not to mention that it was simply HOT!

Pepper and Spice were equally speechless, neither of them having expected the other girl to have the guts to kiss `Rei' in public.

Shampoo was silently contemplating to ask Kaori for lessons in kissing. The girl seemed to know what she was doing.

Ranma tried to creep away as silently as possible. The look on Shampoo's face told him that Kaori had given her a few ideas that the Amazon would undoubtedly try with her once she snapped out of it. Besides, the way Pepper and Spice were eyeing Shinji was unnerving……

Fortunately for all involved, the late bell rang a few seconds later, causing everybody to forget about kissing and other forms of `physical entertainment'.

*****************

When Shinji, Ranma, Akane, Kaori and the Amazons left school that day, Ryouga was standing next to the gate with another `pretty' boy, waiting for them.

"Hey guys over here!"

The girls and part-time girls were soon standing before the no-longer-so-lost-boy and Ryouga introduced everybody.

Once he was finished Ukyo gave Ryouga a piercing look.

"I don't know about you sugar, but she doesn't look a thing like the _male_ Ranma I'm searching for. This is a waste of time."

The redhead in question was too busy trying to remember why the name Ukyo sounded familiar to react, so Shinji took over for her.

"Why are you searching for this Ranma?"

Ukyo gave the younger girl, who was named Shinji strangely enough, a death glare.

"I'm searching for him so I can pound Ranchan flat for running out on me with my family's yattai!"

The moment her old nickname was said Ranma looked up, recognition dawning on her face.

"Ucchan? Is that really you?"

"How do you know that name? Only Ranma ever called me that!"

"But I'm…oh, right…"Ranma trailed of, not knowing how to proceed," What do you mean he ran out on you with your family's yattai? I thought it was a going away present for us" Then another memory came forth and Ranma could clearly see a little Ukyo crying while trying to keep up with Ranma and his father...who was dragging the yattai behind him running at full tilt and it all fell into place. "That stupid panda is so going to get it!!!! He cheated you out of your yattai and I didn't even know it! What did he do this time?!"

Ukyo looked at the raving mad redhead in front of her. She kept speaking about this like she had been there herself and seemed sure that she was Ranma.

`Better answer or this raving psycho will attack me or something!'

"Well…it's like that, Ranma's father and my father engaged us and the yattai was my dowry. Genma was supposed to take me along, but instead he left me behind, that jackass."

Behind the pair Akane and Shmapoo growled but didn't react otherwise to this news. It didn't seem like the newcomer was interested in Ranma that way at all.

Ranma made a face.

"Eeew, that's sick! Why would I want to be engaged to a boy???"

Ukyo growled at Ranma. The little lunatic was starting to get on her nerves.

"I'm not a boy, and I've never been one, all right! I'm just dressing this way because otherwise my father wouldn't even look at me! He always wanted a son and got a daughter instead." Next to Ukyo, Ryouga thought about all the nights he had spent alone with Ukyo in a cave and passed out due to a nosebleed. Ukyo ignored him. "And would you please stop this. You're not Ranma, because Ranma was a boy and you're obviously a girl!"

Ranma chuckled nervously.

"Uhm, listen Ucchan, I know this will sound unbelievable, but I can prove it. You see, me and my bro Shinji here," he said while pointing in Shinji's direction, "fell into a cursed spring at a valley that was full of them. Every time we touch cold water we turn into girls and hot water reverses the process."

Ukyo slowly drew her big-ass spatula and edged away from the raving mad redhead, just to be on the safe side.

"You're really a loony aren't you? Let's assume you're really Ranma. Then tell me why you ran out on me!"

Ranma, heedless of the pain bringing implement in Ukyo's hands took a step forward and fell on her knees in front of the other girl.

"You have to believe me; I didn't have the slightest idea. I didn't even know you were a girl until now, much less that we were engaged! Pop told me your yattai was a going away present and I thought you were crying because we were leaving! I'm sorry! I'm sorry….."

Ukyo looked at the others while Ranma continued to beg before her.

"Is she always that pathetic?"

Shinji gave Ukyo a frosty look. Ranma was apologizing and she was making fun of her. That didn't sit well with Shinji, who knew how hard it was for her brother to apologize for anything.

"No, _he's_ only like that when old friends blame _him_ for things father has done and tries to show them it wasn't _his_ fault."

Ukyo took an involuntary step back. That girl was _scary_ when she wanted to be!

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound insulting, but you have to admit this whole story sounds like it comes right out of an anime."

Shinji sighed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but crossing the ocean without seeing a drop of water with Ryouga's help is a little unbelievable as well."

Ukyo blinked.

"How did you know?"

Shinji smirked, unconsciously using her own father's patented `I'm-your-superior-in-all-things' smile.

"Just a guess. Can we get going now to clear this whole thing up?"

The pony-tailed girl nodded reluctantly, thinking that she might as well see this through to the end, and soon the whole gang was moving towards the Tendo Dojo.

All the way, a sullen looking Ranma was carrying the still unconscious Ryouga on her back. It was obvious that the whole encounter did not go to her liking at all.

*****************

The whole gang, including Kaori, Ryouga, Ukyo, Pepper and Spice, Shampoo, Ranma, Akane and Shinji made its way towards the Tendo Dojo. Most of the girls were tacking along to spend some time with their respective fiancées while Ryouga, who was once again coherent, planned on once again beating Mr. Saotome to a bloody pulp if the panda had recovered from Ukyo's treatment earlier that day. Ukyo simply wanted to have proof of the outrageous story she had been told by the girl that claimed she was Ranma in cursed form.

Everybody, save for Ranma, was chattering away when they entered the yard.

Shinji and Ukyo had been talking about their time with Ranma, when she asked the inevitable question.

"Just who are you anyway? When I met Ranma he didn't have a brother. Not that I believe that you're really male yet, mind you"

"That's what I would like to know as well. Who are you, Shinji?" asked a cold voice.

*****************

"General, we have the first pictures showing the complete object uncovered!"

General Yuan Yamato smiled in triumph as he took the stack of photos from the young Lieutenant.

"Thank you, you may leave."

The young soldier complied and left the General in the solitude of his cabin.

Like a giddy child the man in his mid-fifties opened the folder containing the photos.

What he found was more than he could have dreamed of when this came to his attention the first time two weeks back.

One of the local wreck divers had ordered some _heavy_ equipment that was used for digging. That had been very suspicious because no wreck was worth enough to be uncovered fully, finding a single entrance was enough for most ships and if they were too inaccessible they were simply left alone.

A little investigation on part of the military had shown that he was digging out what was supposed to be a giant robot. Needless to say he had been very sceptic when he first heard of it, but what had been uncovered already was more than enough to convince him that something extraordinary was laying down there.

Now he held the photos in his hand, which were proudly displaying the prone form of a huge purple robot that had the letters EVA 01 stencilled on its forearm. From what he could tell it was in top condition and as big a middle-sized battleship.

Now only one question remained to be answered:

How the hell did something like that end up on the ocean floor without their knowing?

Yet answering it could wait. It was more important to get this baby somewhere safe so their scientists could take a look at it. Something of that size would be the ultimate land bound weapon if they could get it moving!

The real problem was to find a way to lift something this heavy from the ocean floor. Getting that baby out of there would probably take a few weeks.

The real problems were those damn reporters though. They had finally gotten wind of the operation and would make transporting the robot to safety undetected almost impossible.

The general frowned slightly.

"Someone should introduce censorship again, would make my job a lot easier! Not that these insects will get even a glimpse of this baby!"

Fortunately for a certain boy and unfortunately for the international politics of this world, the good general would be proven wrong on that last statement in the future.

End chapter 9

***********************

I think you can think of several reasons…..just look at the Omake

In my opinion the old fossil is doing most of the things she does to have a little bit of fun. After 300 years of living it must be hard to find things to occupy your time that you haven't done a thousand times before.

What do you think about that version? Took me quite a while to come up with it. And yes, I do believe Kasumi would think that. Unlike the rest of Nerima she would just be too polite to say it out loud.

Author's notes:

Are Kasumi's feelings for Ranma real…or is she just grabbing the first way out of her old life? Damned if I told you, but these two will have one hell of a ride!

Is Shinji's secret finally out in the open?

When will the Saotome brothers finally get the phoenix pill?

And, last but not least A BIG FAT THANKS for my pre-readers NuStrike, RanShin, kuracao.

I hope you guys are with me until the end.

OMAKE (the first scene plays out a little differently…)

……

……

Next to her, Nabiki thanked god Ranma managed to convince Shinji to try and get his male body back, it would have been a shame otherwise.

`What the hell?'

The next moment the part of her brain that was labelled `reason' was busy clobbering the part called `libido' with a mallet that had stencilled `he's three years younger then me' on it. Surprisingly `libido' withstood the attack for nearly 30 seconds.

Fortunately for `libido' Soun choose that moment to stop wailing when he got an idea.

"Well then we have only one chance to join the schools for sure: Shinji as long as you're still male you _must_ have sex with one of my daughters to produce an heir! You can marry afterwards."

Shinji looked at Soun dumbly without saying anything.

On the other side of the table Nabiki's `libido' got a whole battalion of enforcements and obliterated `reason' completely, thanks to Soun's little idea.

"I'll have sex with Shinji!"

Shinji looked at Nabiki like she had grown a second head.

"Wa…huh...why…what do you...?"

Soun jumped up

"Yes, then it is decided, get upstairs you two!"

Before Shinji could react Nabiki had grabbed him and was dragging him upstairs. The frenzied glint in her eyes wasn't calming at all for his nerves.

"…..help…."

Downstairs Akane looked horrified.

"We have to stop Nabiki! Who knows what she'll do to Shinji!"

Kasumi smiled slightly.

"I'm sure Shinji will be alright little sister."

"YES; RIDE ME LIKE A BRONCO IN HEAT YOU STUD!!!!!!"

"HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kasumi grew a sweat drop of gigantic proportions.

"Okay, maybe he won't…"

END OMAKE

Yeah, I know it's lame but this was stuck in my head and I needed to get it out. Besides, Nabiki told me she liked the scene just fine….

And now, a little addition to my Omake courtesy of kuracao. He's gone to the trouble of writing it so not posting it would be a shame.

Before Shinji could react Nabiki had grabbed him and was dragging him upstairs. The frenzied glint in her eyes wasn't calming at all for his nerves.

"…..help…."

Had anybody looked at the kitchen door, they would have seen the little `rising sun' fans that Mini-Urd was waving around in victory. Urd smiled.

"One down, one more to go! Nice to see that my love potion worked…"

Dancing all the way back into the kitchen she stopped abruptly when she the potion in her pocket caught her eye. The first tag had dropped to the floor and on the second one could clearly read: Lust and Fertility Mixed Potion.

Mini-Mara, who was hanging from the ceiling, laughed her ass of when she caught the panicky expression on Urd's face. The whole household would soon be the very definition of chaos……..