Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Extraordinary Girl ❯ Extraordinary Girl ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: YamiPaladinOfChaos 
Sometimes, you can't help someone, especially if you can't help yourself. (One-shot. Songfic to Extraordinary Girl. Slight ShinjiAsuka, set before Episode 23)
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 05.07.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 942 | Status: Completed
Sometimes, you can't help someone, especially if you can't help yourself. (One-shot. Songfic to Extraordinary Girl. Slight ShinjiAsuka, set before Episode 23)
Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 05.07.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 942 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer- No, I don’t own Evangelion.
AN: Set between episode 22 and 23.
(She's an extraordinary girl,In an ordinary world,And she can't seem to get away)
“Asuka? Are you okay?”
The German girl didn’t answer, and the silence was deafening. The entire atmosphere seemed tense, ready to come apart and implode upon a dammed up flood of feelings.
Ikari Shinji looked at the wooden barrier that separated him and... there didn’t seem to be any words that really fit the fiery girl-woman he lived with.
Not quite a girl, she was far too jaded and battle-aged to be one.
Not quite a woman, still immature and full of pride and childishness.
Roommate? But they were so much more than that.
Friend? Perhaps that was stretching it too far.
Comrades in arms? The words didn’t do the relationship enough justice.
The object of his affections? The heat rising to Shinji’s cheeks told him that this might be true. But she was no object, no prize, no doll.
She was different, on so many levels. She was everything he wanted to be, and he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her vivacious, explosive nature countermanded his meek, humble existence.
She confused and muddled and his thoughts. Her actions against Rei, against him, against everyone confused him. He couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend the whys and hows of Asuka Langley Soryu.
She could be a fighting, raging demon in combat and in life, snapping and biting and fiery.
She could be vulnerable and haunted, like that one time when he glimpsed her crying for her mother in her sleep.
She was Asuka.
The best way to put it was... she was an extraordinary girl.
(He lacks the courage in his mind,Like a child left behind,Like a pet left in the rain)
Shinji often hated himself. Today was one of those days. Today, his self-hatred emerged due to weakness. He was too weak to help this extraordinary girl.
How could he propose to help Asuka when he didn’t even know the first thing about her?
And would she even want his help?
Her insults railed in on his ailing self-confidence. Pervert. Baka. Dummkopf. A spineless coward. Her last words to him, words of pure loathing and disgust and fury haunted his every waking moment.
Why would this extraordinary girl want his help anyway.
A small noise cut in through his musings. (She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Asuka Langley Soryu, pilot of Unit-02, the “demon”... was crying her heart out alone in her room.
And it broke Shinji’s heart with every sob, every sniffle. (Somedays he feels like dying,She gets so sick of crying)
He wanted to die.
Although he had wanted it several times, Shinji knew this was different. He wanted to die because he couldn’t help this extraordinary girl. He wanted to die because he could do nothing to help ease her pain.
He was utterly useless... again.
Ikari Shinji did what he did best then. He turned and left, and each step echoed around him mockingly, haunting him with taunting words.
Coward.
Failure.
Nobody wants you.
And Shinji took those words into his soul and thought them true.
He didn't realize that a single tear fell like rain from the sky of his eyes as he kept moving.
(She sees the mirror of herself,An image she wants to sell,To anyone willing to buy)
Her mask was cracking. The Fifteenth had done its job well. It had broken this seemingly uncrushable spirit, by bringing up the darkness of the soul, of memory.
The redheaded demon, the incredible pilot of 02, the college certified genius... but that wasn’t her. That was the image she wanted everyone to see.
The true Asuka Langley Soryu was a scared little girl who was afraid of being hurt.
Asuka sobbed as her facade slipped farther and farther away, and her heart began to show itself, along with all the bruises and hurts of her past. The tears fell like bitter raindrops on the innocent ivory of her pillow.
(He steals the image in her kiss,From her hearts apocalypse,From the one called whatsername)
One person had touched her heart before, just for a moment, with a kiss.
Shinji.
The name, the word cut in and resounded in her psyche, bombarding her with images of her fellow pilot.
He broke that mask for a moment, and for just a moment in time, Asuka wanted nothing more than to break down and tell him everything about her and let him hold her.
So she shoved him away and ran, letting the image reform itself. That single moment had sliced her defenses apart like a prog knife. Let him into his heart and let him love her, slaking the thirst for affection that had gone so long without being quenched. So she shoved him away and ran, letting the image reform itself. That single moment had sliced her defenses apart like a prog knife.
And she would never let it happen again. Only then could she stay safe from the pain.
(She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Mama.... why did you leave me alone? She whispered miserably in the depths of her mind.
Shinji would leave her too, either through death or because of Wondergirl or some other girl.
The thought sickened her and she hardened herself against the spiky haired pilot.
Everyone left her. So she would simply further the process along and keep them from getting too close.
The risk of loving someone, of feeling, was too great for this bold girl-woman.(Somedays he feels like dyingShe gets so sick of crying)
The spineless weakling made her so angry sometimes, but the awe-inspiring pilot of 01 was so very different... it was as if there were two Shinjis, one that showed in combat, one that wandered through life despairingly.
Asuka forced herself to hate Ikari Shinji and found it easy to focus purely on the spineless part of him. Hate was better than... she would not think it was love, but...affection, she supposed.
She could hate him when he ran, when he gave up, when he whimpered, when he apologized. She could care for him when he saved her, showed that fighting spirit that slaughtered Angels.
The tears continued to fall from her face, hot and bitter and salty, slashing wet lines down her beautiful features.(She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Asuka wiped the tears angrily from her eyes. She hated crying, hated weakness, hated everything.
But most of all... she hated being alone.
Trying to stand, she desperately wanted to just run, run far away.
She wanted to die. She wanted the pain to end so she could just rest in peace.
(Somedays he feels like dyingSomedays it's not worth trying,)
Is this how Shinji feels, she asked herself. Is this how he felt when he ran away?
She could understand it somehow. It wasn’t worth it anymore. She was a useless pilot, a useless person. She had been violated and abused by an abomination.
There was no point to living anymore, no point to try and hang on.
(Now that they both are finding,She gets so sick of crying)
Plus... she was sick of the tears. Sick of mortality, sick of weakness. She wanted the pain to end.
Slowly, Asuka began her journey towards death, with blood shot eyes, bedraggled, in rumpled clothes, ready for the pilgramige into eternal sleep.
And in her mind's eye, her mother waited with open arms just at the other end of the pale, like a siren singing a sweet lullaby of finality.
Slowly, Asuka began her journey towards death.
“I’m coming mama.” She whispered quietly. (She's an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl.)
AN: I hope you enjoyed this little fic of mine, and please review.Converting /tmp/phpbXHanY to /dev/stdout
AN: Set between episode 22 and 23.
(She's an extraordinary girl,In an ordinary world,And she can't seem to get away)
“Asuka? Are you okay?”
The German girl didn’t answer, and the silence was deafening. The entire atmosphere seemed tense, ready to come apart and implode upon a dammed up flood of feelings.
Ikari Shinji looked at the wooden barrier that separated him and... there didn’t seem to be any words that really fit the fiery girl-woman he lived with.
Not quite a girl, she was far too jaded and battle-aged to be one.
Not quite a woman, still immature and full of pride and childishness.
Roommate? But they were so much more than that.
Friend? Perhaps that was stretching it too far.
Comrades in arms? The words didn’t do the relationship enough justice.
The object of his affections? The heat rising to Shinji’s cheeks told him that this might be true. But she was no object, no prize, no doll.
She was different, on so many levels. She was everything he wanted to be, and he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her vivacious, explosive nature countermanded his meek, humble existence.
She confused and muddled and his thoughts. Her actions against Rei, against him, against everyone confused him. He couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend the whys and hows of Asuka Langley Soryu.
She could be a fighting, raging demon in combat and in life, snapping and biting and fiery.
She could be vulnerable and haunted, like that one time when he glimpsed her crying for her mother in her sleep.
She was Asuka.
The best way to put it was... she was an extraordinary girl.
(He lacks the courage in his mind,Like a child left behind,Like a pet left in the rain)
Shinji often hated himself. Today was one of those days. Today, his self-hatred emerged due to weakness. He was too weak to help this extraordinary girl.
How could he propose to help Asuka when he didn’t even know the first thing about her?
And would she even want his help?
Her insults railed in on his ailing self-confidence. Pervert. Baka. Dummkopf. A spineless coward. Her last words to him, words of pure loathing and disgust and fury haunted his every waking moment.
Why would this extraordinary girl want his help anyway.
A small noise cut in through his musings. (She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Asuka Langley Soryu, pilot of Unit-02, the “demon”... was crying her heart out alone in her room.
And it broke Shinji’s heart with every sob, every sniffle. (Somedays he feels like dying,She gets so sick of crying)
He wanted to die.
Although he had wanted it several times, Shinji knew this was different. He wanted to die because he couldn’t help this extraordinary girl. He wanted to die because he could do nothing to help ease her pain.
He was utterly useless... again.
Ikari Shinji did what he did best then. He turned and left, and each step echoed around him mockingly, haunting him with taunting words.
Coward.
Failure.
Nobody wants you.
And Shinji took those words into his soul and thought them true.
He didn't realize that a single tear fell like rain from the sky of his eyes as he kept moving.
(She sees the mirror of herself,An image she wants to sell,To anyone willing to buy)
Her mask was cracking. The Fifteenth had done its job well. It had broken this seemingly uncrushable spirit, by bringing up the darkness of the soul, of memory.
The redheaded demon, the incredible pilot of 02, the college certified genius... but that wasn’t her. That was the image she wanted everyone to see.
The true Asuka Langley Soryu was a scared little girl who was afraid of being hurt.
Asuka sobbed as her facade slipped farther and farther away, and her heart began to show itself, along with all the bruises and hurts of her past. The tears fell like bitter raindrops on the innocent ivory of her pillow.
(He steals the image in her kiss,From her hearts apocalypse,From the one called whatsername)
One person had touched her heart before, just for a moment, with a kiss.
Shinji.
The name, the word cut in and resounded in her psyche, bombarding her with images of her fellow pilot.
He broke that mask for a moment, and for just a moment in time, Asuka wanted nothing more than to break down and tell him everything about her and let him hold her.
So she shoved him away and ran, letting the image reform itself. That single moment had sliced her defenses apart like a prog knife. Let him into his heart and let him love her, slaking the thirst for affection that had gone so long without being quenched. So she shoved him away and ran, letting the image reform itself. That single moment had sliced her defenses apart like a prog knife.
And she would never let it happen again. Only then could she stay safe from the pain.
(She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Mama.... why did you leave me alone? She whispered miserably in the depths of her mind.
Shinji would leave her too, either through death or because of Wondergirl or some other girl.
The thought sickened her and she hardened herself against the spiky haired pilot.
Everyone left her. So she would simply further the process along and keep them from getting too close.
The risk of loving someone, of feeling, was too great for this bold girl-woman.(Somedays he feels like dyingShe gets so sick of crying)
The spineless weakling made her so angry sometimes, but the awe-inspiring pilot of 01 was so very different... it was as if there were two Shinjis, one that showed in combat, one that wandered through life despairingly.
Asuka forced herself to hate Ikari Shinji and found it easy to focus purely on the spineless part of him. Hate was better than... she would not think it was love, but...affection, she supposed.
She could hate him when he ran, when he gave up, when he whimpered, when he apologized. She could care for him when he saved her, showed that fighting spirit that slaughtered Angels.
The tears continued to fall from her face, hot and bitter and salty, slashing wet lines down her beautiful features.(She's all alone again,Wiping the tears from her eyes)
Asuka wiped the tears angrily from her eyes. She hated crying, hated weakness, hated everything.
But most of all... she hated being alone.
Trying to stand, she desperately wanted to just run, run far away.
She wanted to die. She wanted the pain to end so she could just rest in peace.
(Somedays he feels like dyingSomedays it's not worth trying,)
Is this how Shinji feels, she asked herself. Is this how he felt when he ran away?
She could understand it somehow. It wasn’t worth it anymore. She was a useless pilot, a useless person. She had been violated and abused by an abomination.
There was no point to living anymore, no point to try and hang on.
(Now that they both are finding,She gets so sick of crying)
Plus... she was sick of the tears. Sick of mortality, sick of weakness. She wanted the pain to end.
Slowly, Asuka began her journey towards death, with blood shot eyes, bedraggled, in rumpled clothes, ready for the pilgramige into eternal sleep.
And in her mind's eye, her mother waited with open arms just at the other end of the pale, like a siren singing a sweet lullaby of finality.
Slowly, Asuka began her journey towards death.
“I’m coming mama.” She whispered quietly. (She's an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl,
an extraordinary girl.)
AN: I hope you enjoyed this little fic of mine, and please review.Converting /tmp/phpbXHanY to /dev/stdout