Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Mst: Children of an Elder God ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Asuka: You better have a damn good story about that damn welt on your neck!

Kensuke: I always thought you'd be more into older girls. Just wish Touji were here to witness this event.

Shinji: I said I could explain didn't I?

Rei: You are to have no relations with my guardian Shinji-kun.

Shinji: Rei! I'm NOT having relations with Maya-chan.

Mana: Then why call her chan?

Shinji: She asked me too.

Hikari sniffling: How could you?

Shinji sighing: Do you guys want to know what happened?

Misato: `He really going to tell them? This is so funny knowing the truth.'

Suddenly the phone rings.

Asuka: I'll get it, you `points finger at Shinji' WILL tell me what happened when I get back.

Kensuke: So how was it?

Shinji: The work? Well I had to cook, clean, and sow a little. Same as I do here.

Mana: NOT that! He meant how was your night,' Mana as well as Hikari glaring at the poor boy.'

Misato holding back laughter: What's that book you have Aida-kun?

Noting the shift in conversation, Kensuke: It's "Call of the Cthulu", a RPG.

Misato: Ritsuko made me play one of those in college, you guys going to play?

Mana/Rei: Shinji played enough.

Asuka: Hikari, its for you, your elder sister.

Hikari heads off to answer the phone.

Misato: Now Shinji, you should tell them all what happened now.

Shinji: You should help me, it's partially your fault!

Kensuke/Asuka: MISATO'S FAULT?

Rei: How far has your infidelity gone?

Misato: It was an accident, when I hear somebody say "Is that pushing to hard?" and the answer "The harder the better" what would you thinks going on?

Shinji: Misato burst into Maya's apartment before she left. I was teaching her how to mop better.

Kensuke: And?

Shinji: Well…when she broke the door down, Maya got spooked, swung the handle and hit me.

Rei/Asuka/Mana:…that's it?

Misato: I'll vouch for him, I saw him get cracked by that mop handle, `snickering.'

Shinji: It's not funny!

Asuka: No more Maya for you, she's a bad influence on you.

Shinji: No.

Everybody stares at him oddly for a minute: `What he just say?'

Asuka: What?

Shinji: I said, no. Maya is my friend and I won't stop being her friend.

Rei: So you would stand up to are combined wrath for friendship.

Shinji with an air of confidence: Yes, I would.

Asuka's eyes narrow: `It's got to be a trick…he can't have a backbone' So you're saying NO to me?

Shinji staring in her eyes: Yes, I'm telling you no.

Kensuke and Misato wait for the slap, Mana is ready to take Asuka down before she kills him, Rei has her AT Field ready but…

Asuka leaps into Shinji's arms and plants a MAJOR kiss on him: `I just LOVE it when he takes firm action!!'

All room that's not holding onto an Ikari and sucking the life out of him, or said Ikari falls to the ground.

Hikari walks back in to see Asuka plastered on to Shinji: Take it he had a good excuse. I have to run home, Nozumi got her head stuck in the stairs again. I'll be back after I help get her out.

Recovering, Misato: I say we head back to the couch for a movie.

Rei standing: Can he breath?

Kensuke: Doubt it.

Mana: No fair! My turn next!

Asuka, dragging Shinji with her, heads to the couch and sits.

Shinji: `All I did was stand my ground and now…melts into mush.'

Misato: Well he's out of it. Say Aida how bout we play that game of yours after this installment?

Kensuke: Sure.

Rei putting next tape in: Stop that, `At fields Asuka way from Shinji.'

Mana: It's impolite not to share.

Asuka: Sorry, just first time he ever showed such a strong back-bone…actually told me no!

Kensuke shakes his head: I feel even more sorry for him now.

They all take their seats…well Shinji still hasn't reformed so he gets flanked by Asuka and Mana, Rei on the floor by the couch, Misato and Kensuke the flanking chairs.

Misato: What we miss?

Mana fills the pair in as the tape keys up.

(BEGIN MST >>> is the key to look fo, sorry for the long intro :) )

Mana: He going to be ok?

Misato: Didn't steal his soul did you Asuka?

Asuka smiling softly: No, just hope he gets better soon.

John Biles & Rod M. Present

A Neon Genesis Evangelion Elseworlds

Children of an Elder God

Part 5

"Wargames"

>>>Rei: This installment focuses on Aida-kun?

>>>Misato: Be a boring part.

-*-

Misato roared through the streets of Tokyo-3 in her

car as if all the Angels were chasing her.

>>>Mana: They are, the Angels of death.

>>>Reformed Shinji: They never leave, started to follow her after she

>>> bought stock in Yebisu `I feel funny.'

Asuka laughed

with delight while Shinji clung to his seatbelt, shaking.

"Faster, faster!" Asuka shouted, while Shinji prayed for

engine failure.

>>>Rei: You seem to have a death wish Sohryu.

>>>Asuka: Speed is a drug, a very additive drug.

"I'm gonna have to slow down soon, or I'll drive

right through our apartment building.

>>>Shinji/Asuka: Again?

>>>Misato: I only did it that one time, let it go.

I don't think the

Andersons would like that." Misato took the corner at about

fifty miles an hour without any trouble, thanks to the

absence of any traffic. Shinji, on the other hand, was glad

he hadn't eaten dinner yet.

>>>Mana: Is that physically possible?

>>>Misato: Be glad to show you if you want.

>>>Mana notices the paled looks on Asuka and Shinji: I'll…pass.

"Where am I going to be staying?" Asuka asked.

>>>Rei/Mana: Far far away.

"Since your guardian is staying in Germany for now,

you'll be staying with me and Shinji. You're not old enough

to live on your own yet."

>>>Asuka: But wondergirl is?

>>>Rei: When you've lived three lives, then you may talk.

Asuka nodded. "I suppose Rei lives with you too?"

Misato shook her head. "She'd be riding with us in

that case. We do have a penguin, though."

"So she lives with Dr. Akagi?" Asuka inquired.

>>>Shinji: If Nerv wanted her dead.

>>>Misato: Or a cat obsessed bi-sexual.

"No, she has her own place," Misato said, cutting

another corner short and beginning to decelerate. Shinji

flew forward, thankful his seatbelt held.

"But she's not any older than I am!"

>>>Shinji: Actually Rei and I are about eight months older.

>>>Mana: Making you the YOUNG one.

"She's very mature for her age," Misato said.

"Shinji's father is her guardian, and he okayed it."

>>>Shinji: She's mature yes, but father isn't her guardian.

>>>Rei: Now it's Ibuki-san.

"She's your sister?" Asuka asked Shinji; the files

she'd read hadn't said that.

>>>Mana: I always thought you two look…'slumps down.'

>>>Rei: Nobody can say imply that and get away with it.

"No, no, he's just her...umm...ward? No, I mean

she's his ward." Shinji said. "We're not related at ALL."

>>>Misato: Well not blood related.

>>>All save Kensuke Blush.

Asuka's hair whipped about as they cut into the

parking garage, making a 100 degree turn. After shoving it

out of her eyes and mouth, she said, "So how big is our

apartment? I've got a lot of stuff."

Shinji looked at Asuka's one suitcase and wondered

why she was worried. "It's pretty big, since Misato is a

big-shot."

"Good."

>>>Misato: It's hard having so much responcability.

>>>Kensuke: Maybe you should get a hair cut Asuka, I mean eating hair is bad.

>>>Mana waking/Rei: Short hair is good.

>>>Shinji/Asuka: I like it long.

-*-

Asuka was staring at Pen-pen, not having gotten past

the living room yet, when the doorbell rang.

>>>Shinji: He hypnotized her too?

>>>Misato: Never should have taught him how to do that.

Misato said,

"Shinji, go get the door. I'll show Asuka her room."

>>>Rei: If the bird allows it.

He opened the door and saw a wall of deliverymen

with boxes on handcarts going down the hall and around the

corner. "Uh...hello?"

>>>Mana: Dear Kami…it's a moving warehouse!

>>>Misato: That stuff is NOT going to fit in the apartment.

>>>Rei: The term is compulsive buyer isn't it?

"We've got some stuff for a Miss Asuka Langely." He

looked at the delivery invoice. "Asuka Soryuu Zeppelin

Langely."

>>>Mana: Why do you have so many last names?

>>>Kensuke: She's a black widow! Marries, mates, the kills!

>>>Asuka nudges Shinji: You know that's a lie right?

Shinji's jaw dropped. "All...that...stuff?"

Asuka bounded over to the door, took the invoice,

and signed it. "That's me! Bring it all in."

Box after box flooded into the room, trapping

Pen-pen against the wall and shoving Misato back into the

corner by the TV.

>>>Rei: So many things…

>>>Asuka: In time we will get you just as much.

>>>Shinji: No way in hell I could afford all that stuff.

Shinji's neck began to hurt from

following the movements of the deliverymen, while Asuka

moved lithely through the horde, directing traffic.

Misato finally shoved her way over to Asuka, "Did

you bring the entire contents of Germany with you?"

>>>Asuka: That's just my first closet, left three others.

>>>Kensuke: If we looked, I bet we'd find Hitler's brain.

"Actually, I left about a third of my stuff back in

Germany to ship later. And I finally threw out all my old

clothing that doesn't fit any more."

>>>Rei: That would account for the surplus at the Salvation Army.

>>>Mana: How many sheep died for all those cloths…'drooling lightly.'

"I don't even own this much stuff, and I'm twice

your age!"

>>>Asuka: Twice my age, you're joking right?

>>>Misato: Don't push me Asuka, could still move you in with the Rei's.

"Well, I have a trust fund from my parents, but NERV

has always paid all my expenses and..." Asuka looked

slightly embarrassed. "It didn't look like so much stuff

back home."

>>>Asuka: Damn small Japanese homes.

Misato shook her head. "We're going to have to send

at least half of this to storage. Maybe more if you don't

want to sleep on top of your boxes, Asuka."

"But...but...I NEED all this stuff!"

>>>Mana: No, you need therapy.

>>>Rei still in awe: So much stuff…

"And I need to be able to move without tripping on

all your stuff." Misato opened one, which was full of

letters and romance novels. "Oooh, Melody's Pirate Passion!

You can keep this box."

>>>Shinji/Kensuke: "Melody's Pirate Passion"?

>>>Girls, save Rei: It's a classic!

Deflated, Asuka stared at all the boxes. "How am I

ever going to decide?"

"Shinji, you start going through the boxes too;

that'll be faster. Anything with clothing, beer, food, or

good books goes over in that corner." Misato pointed.

>>>Rei: Why would she pack food or beer?

>>>Asuka: Shinji wouldn't know a good romance novel if it bit his ass.

>>>Mana: Don't you dare damage that ass…'all look at her' oops.

"Pointless things go over there." She pointed to the far

corner. "Home electronics over there..."

"HEY!" Asuka shouted, but Misato could no longer be

stopped.

>>>Shinji: Could she ever?

>>>Asuka: Well we did stop her that one time.

>>>Misato: You just surprised me! All huggy and kisses and shit.

>>>Mana/Rei: And when was this?

-*-

Shinji rode along in the maglev train, ignoring the

countryside as it zoomed by, lost in his thoughts. He was

dreaming and knew it for once;

>>>Misato: With your love life your dreams should be mayhem.

>>>Kensuke: But it's a train ride…you neutred?

>>>Mana: Nope, we checked. `DAMNIT I have to watch my mouth!'

he had been exhausted after

helping Asuka move her twelve tons of junk to a storage

site, and both he and Misato had collapsed as soon as they

got home. Asuka had still been up when he passed out in his

room.

There was a spider spinning a web in one corner of

the train, and he ignored it.

>>>Shinji: Why do I feel cold all of the sudden.

>>>Kensuke: The elder gods are trying to talk to you in your dreams!

He could see the tiny winged

insectoid it had trapped in its web, but he ignored that

too, really. Certainly he didn't notice its disturbingly

human-like (despite being made of black chitin) head or hear

its feeble death cries.

>>>Misato: Help me! Help me!

>>>Shinji: My dreams are really disturbing. Human flies that talk.

He didn't want to see it, not after

last time, so he chose to not see it.

As usual, that didn't make it go away. The death

cries continued as the spider began to suck out the fluids

from the pitiful thing.

>>>Mana: Looks like Asuka kissing Shinji.

>>>Asuka: You're just jealous.

He took off his shoe and hurled it

at the spider in a fit of rage. Just as it struck the

spider, something struck him. Agony raced through his head,

and the darkness consumed him.

>>>Rei: Your accuracy has improved.

>>>Shinji: It's a dream, been more surprised if I had missed.

He awoke, tied up in the back of a horse-drawn, four

wheeled wagon. This was new to him. He'd never had a dream

like this before.

>>>Shinji: I'm not a fan of being tied up.

>>>Misato: Not used to it yet? Need more practice.

>>>Kensuke: I so hate you right now Shinji, I really do.

A few dozen other people were tied up in

the back of the wagon as well. Men and women, children,

adults, and the elderly, gathered evenly from every

continent, of every color of hairs, eyes, and skin, all

alike were bound, and almost all of them slept.

>>>Mana: How can you tell eye color of sleeping people?

>>>Rei: Look at them.

>>>Asuka: People sleep with their eyes shut.

>>>Rei: Really? I don't.

>>>Shinji: `And it REALLY creeps me out.'

A man drove the wagon, his back to Shinji, wrapped

in a simple brown wool poncho with a hood and long brown

leather pants. His legs ran out of sight off the front of

the wagon from the board he sat on. His voice was deep as

he spoke. "Don't bother trying to escape. Even if you get

out of your ropes, I'll chase you down."

>>>Shinji: Story of my life.

>>>Girls: So why don't you just stop trying to escape us.

>>>Kensuke/Shinji: Women are scary.

"Who are you?" Shinji sat up as best he could with

his hands tied behind his back and his legs wrapped pretty

well. Looking around the countryside, there was a river to

his right and grassy fields to his left. The river was

broad and slowly growing wider. They rattled over a bridge

across a small tributary of the river as he looked about.

The sky was a pleasant blue, but the blue tint of the

grasses was a little strange.

>>>Kensuke: It's the DreamLands!! Go find Kadeth!!

>>>Shinji: Find what?

>>>Misato: I doubt Shinji's a match for Randolph Carter.

>>>All look at Misato: What I read!

For a moment, he wondered if he was in Kentucky and

dismissed the thought. I'm dreaming, he thought.

>>>Shinji: A dream of America would be a nightmare.

>>>Asuka: They have good fried chicken in Kentucky though…right?

Of course

it's weird. Although normally he was alone in his dreams.

"Just another slaver plying my trade as best I can,"

he said. "What with the revolt of the slaves in Kled, I've

had to improvise. Then I hit on the trick of picking up all

these fools who manage to dump themselves around here by

wrecking their own little private dreams."

>>>Mana: So what does that really mean?

>>>Rei: If one causes their own dream to fail, he collects their soul.

>>>Asuka: how pathetic are you when you mess up you OWN dream?

He shrugged.

"It's a lot of work, but my buyers seem to value those sort

of people."

Shinji blinked. How entirely strange. "If they're

dreaming, why are they asleep?"

>>>Rei: You dream while asleep.

>>>Misato: But they are IN the dream.

"Most of them dreamed a near-death experience and

haven't quite recovered yet."

"All I did was squash a spider and then..."

The man laughed faintly. "You are what you eat."

"I don't eat spiders!" the thought revulsed Shinji,

though he would have prefered eating a spider to pilot his

EVA over drinking LCL.

>>>Mana: Good source of protein though.

>>>Asuka: If you have no taste.

>>>Shinji: Well the LCL does kill are taste buds.

"Tell that to the ones you killed. And you'd best

hope none of his relatives take it poorly." The man

laughed. "But my spells should keep them away until we

reach Dylath-Leen."

"Reach what?" Shinji looked around again, but the

landscape was still unfamiliar.

>>>Kensuke: Dylath-Leen, ruled by the high priest not to be named.

>>>Shinji: It scares me you know so much about this.

"The place where you will be sold to

the...botheration." The jovial voice darkened slightly. "A

knight."

Shinji looked down the road and saw a smudge of red

in the distance over a smudge of brown and grey, rapidly

approaching. As the figure came closer, it became clearer,

a knight clad in red armor riding upon a huge destrier with

steel barding.

>>>Misato: Wonder who that could be dressed all in red.

>>>Kensuke: Its so hard to think of who it could be.

>>>Asuka: So red is my color, nothing wrong with that.

He sat back and relaxed; no need to do

anything. The knight would handle this, and it was just a

dream, anyway.

"Halt!" the knight cried out. It was a woman. "I

have declared the slave trade ended along this road! You

will free your prisoners! NOW!"

>>>Shinji: And making demands without looking at what's going on?

>>>Rei: The identity is obvious, even the voice is a give away.

The driver laughed. "Little girl, what I do is

perfectly legal here. Slaves have been brought to

Dylath-Leen by this road for millenia. Millions have been

carried down the Skar, despite the complaints of those

lily-livered cat worshipping fools in Ulthar and Nir.

>>>Misato: What does Ritsuko have to do with this?

>>>Shinji: Worship cats…odd practice.

Take

your stupid horse and go back to Celephais where idiots like

yourself dwell."

"Never! I am the Red Knight, one of the four

champions of King Kuranes of Celephais, the Knight of

Courage, and I have sworn never to retreat from a fair

battle.

>>>Mana: How about an unfair battle?

>>>Asuka: Well with my skill they all are unfair, for them.

Not that I would call this fair, as one of me is

easily a match for five of you. Now yield, or I will cast

you naked into the river. I think the crocodiles get quite

hungry this time of year." Her voice was familiar to

Shinji, but something about it wasn't quite right.

>>>Rei: I often say that.

>>>Asuka: It's just so rich and powerful! Demanding respect.

>>>Misato: No, sounds muffled and scared.

Although

it might have been just the fact that she was shouting from

a distance.

The wagon stopped and the man laughed sarcastically.

"Do you think I would travel alone if I could not defend

myself? I have studied the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the

Book of Eibon,

>>>Shinji: Gazontight.

>>>Kensuke: Those are Mythos tomes! He knows magic.

>>>Mana: Eibon, That's a color right?

little girl, and learned the secrets of the

great masters. I have seen the monastery of the Priest Who

is Not to be Named and stood in the shadow of the Plateau of

Leng."

>>>Asuka: He says that like it means something.

>>>Misato: I'm so lost I'll just look at the pretty landscape.

He reached under the board he sat on and grabbed a

bottle; Shinji could see a good dozen of them under the

board, each containing swirling gasses or flashing lights.

"Do you know what this is?"

>>>Rei: Glass.

>>>Shinji: Ramune?

>>>Misato: New type of Yebisu?

"A bottle," she said, moving her lance to a ready

position.

"Through my arts, I have trapped a nightmare within

this bottle," he said. "Here, have one."

He hurled it at her, and she instinctively drew her

sword and swatted at the bottle. Shinji was impressed by

her speed.

>>>Asuka: As you should.

>>>Mana: Gee, looks like that's what HE wanted to happen.

Then the bottle shattered and the mist enveloped

the knight, who began to scream. The smoke obscured her,

but he could hear the sound of metal being struck and every

so often, the mist parted slightly and he could see a black,

slimy tendril that looked like a rotting vine leaking pus.

>>>Asuka: T…tendril?

>>>Mana: Welcome to Violation City, population you!

The first glance nearly made him sick up, and he

closed his eyes, trying to blot out the horrible agonzied

howls of the knight, who was now cursing in some foreign

language.

>>>Mana: That would be German wouldn't it.

>>>Kensuke: Sounds like…ENGLISH!!!

>>>All: The foulest of all languages.

Make it stop! he thought. I don't like this

dream! I don't want to be here! I don't want to watch her

die, whoever she is.

He opened his eyes, and he saw the spider again, the

one from the train, now spinning its web under the board

around the jars. It's your fault, he thought. You got me

into this.

>>>Misato: Placing blame again?

>>>Shinji: Technically it WAS the spiders fault.

Shinji was not given to rage, but he was getting

mad now. He wiggled around over the sleeping people, trying

to get to the spider.

>>>Kensuke: You crawl very well, practice?

>>>Rei: When he needs punishing.

Up above, the slaver was laughing. "Not so mighty

now, eh, 'Knight of Courage'? You scream awfully well for

such a loftily-titled wench. I see what courage amounts to

in the end. Nothing but a rushing into suicide. It matters

naught, for the Crawling Chaos will laugh at us all. He

would laugh at me if I had lost, but the joke is on you."

>>>Mana: Crawling Chaos, ok this movie is officially on my weird list.

>>>Misato: Now kids, see what head strongedness gets you?

>>>Asuka/Rei/Shinji: A quick death.

Shinji ignored him, focused on spider-slaying. Some

part of him was sure that if he hit it, either the dream

would end, or at least it would change. Not that hitting it

would be easy, but it was easier than trying to do something

about the knight.

>>>Kensuke: And if you did help her, she'd just be pissed anyway.

>>>Shinji: You're more right than you know.

Finally, he got to where he could strike at it.

Time seemed to slow, the mocking laughter of the

slaver becoming deeper and dragged out, the clumsy hip and

waist driven kick unable to outrace a snail. The spider

scampered out of the way up its web onto the top of the

bench, and his kick collided with five of the bottles. They

shattered, apparently extremely delicate.

>>>Misato: Now we see bad going to worse.

>>>Rei: The wagon driver was foolish to keep them all together.

In an instant, black, purple, and bilious green

mists enveloped the wagon, the slaver, and Shinji.

The wagon dropped away, and he plunged at ever

increasing speed into an endless void. Seconds later, it

proved to not be endless as he struck the bottomless sea of

LCL that filled much, maybe most, perhaps virtually all of

the void.

>>>Mana: Can't make up your mind about the right analogy?

>>>Shinji: Black is black, void or LCL who can tell?

It ate at him as it rushed down his throat and

into his lungs and stomach, drinking him as he drank it. He

could feel himself ebbing away, being replaced by little

bits of LCL. Soon, there would only be a lump of congealed

LCL that looked like Shinji instead of Shinji himself.

>>>Kensuke: Who was being violated in this scene?

>>>Shinji: I'll never be able to get into the entry plug normally again.

Mockeries of his form, of Rei's form, of Asuka's

form, of nearly everyone in NERV and people only dimly

remembered from his youth. But each and every one of them

was wrong, scaly or tentacled, with melted twisted limbs or

gills or a second mouth in their stomach, naked and

horrible.

>>>All shut their eyes: That's just SICK!

>>>Girls: I HATE tentacles!

>>>Guys: To many extra body parts…wrong.

He screamed, and more LCL rushed in. With a supreme

effort, he shouted at the universe for help. But the

universe did not care, and the mockeries closed in, tearing

out chunks of his flesh. LCL replaced the missing chunks,

forming shiny almost-flesh, bilious and flabby.

>>>Misato: Ok you can stop now, I'm officially sick.

Something shook him hard, then harder, and a voice

tried to whisper something to him. It was Misato. He

shouted. "Misato! HELP ME!"

"Wake up, Shinji! It's just a dream."

>>>Shinji: No shit Sherlock we already knew that.

>>>Misato: Shinji-kun, that's no way to talk to a superior officer.

>>>Rei: Even when they are acting foolishly?

And suddenly it was just a dream, and he was awake,

his body slick with sweat. Misato knelt by him, still

shaking him.

"I...how did you know I was having a nightmare?"

"You screamed for help so loudly I'm surprised our

neighbors haven't come running by now."

>>>Shinji: We HAVE neighbors?

>>>Misato: No, drove them out first week with are celebrations.

>>>Asuka: That was before I arrived I take it.

The door slid open, and a bleary eyed Asuka stuck

her head in. "What the hell is going on?"

>>>Misato: Just Shinji-kun and I sleeping together.

>>>Mana: He doesn't make that much nois…e.

>>>Shinji bright pink: `I really didn't want Kensuke to hear that.'

"Shinji had a nightmare," Misato said. "And I

heard you screaming too."

"I was NOT screaming," Asuka said. "I've never

talked in my sleep or screamed. Ever."

>>>Rei: Than what was that "GOOD GOD" comment we heard last week?

>>>Asuka blushing: Um…I just talk louder in my sleep… no `screams.'

She tried to come

in and banged her head on the doorframe instead. "Ugh."

"Nothing wrong with having a nightmare," Misato

said. "I once dreamed I was in world with no beer." She

shuddered. "It was horrible. I had to drink water. Flat

water."

>>>Misato: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

>>>Kensuke: What the hell!

>>>Shinji takes Misato by the shoulders: It's a dream…not real.

>>>Misato crushes Shinji in a hug: Need beer…hate flat water…need beer.

Shinji wondered how water could go flat. As Misato

began to ramble on, he slowly relaxed. Her blather was

soothing, and sometimes funny.

>>>Kensuke: Well not now.

>>>Shinji calming Misato, Asuka: She's only like this about beer.

When he finally slipped back

into dreams, they were quiet and pleasant, and utterly

forgotten by the time he got out of bed in the morning.

-*-

"Yeah, we'll be in the same class," Shinji said.

"There's only one class per grade because there's not very

many people our age in Tokyo-3."

He and Asuka were walking up the hallway to their

classroom. She yawned. "You don't do that every night, do

you?"

"What?" He paused, his hand an inch from the

handle.

"Scream and wake us all up."

>>>Mana: I'd prefer you scream while I'm awake anyway.

>>>Shinji: MANA!

>>>Asuka: You're sick Mana.

"No. Generally my dreams are pretty boring." He

opened the door and stepped inside, Asuka close behind him.

"Good. I hate being woken up in the middle of the

night."

Touji and Kensuke waved, and most of the heads

turned to see who it was. A second later, Asuka came into

sight and everyone stared. "Hey, he's got a girl with him,"

someone said.

"A cute girl," someone else said.

>>>Mana: How quickly you're forgotten.

>>>Rei: I'll not forget that.

>>>Asuka feels a chill.

"The new Eva Pilot," Touji said.

Kensuke and Touji were over by them in an instant,

followed a few seconds later by a tide of humanity. A

rather small tide, but it was disconcerting nonetheless.

>>>Misato: Then why does Asuka look like she's on cloud nine?

>>>Shinji: Disconcerting for me, Asuka's drug.

Asuka smiled and waved and said hello to three dozen people,

quickly learning their names. The only really hard part of

it was trying to sort out who was shouting what.

>>>Kensuke: Who said, "Take it off?"

>>>Rei: You did.

>>>Mana: How about "Die Gaijin" ?

>>>Misato: That was Rei.

Shinji, on the other hand, got dragged aside by his

friends. "Showing her around the first day?" Touji asked.

"Or is it something more? I saw how she was hanging

on you yesterday," Kensuke said, grinning.

"It's nothing like that! We're just living

together," Shinji said. A second later, he wished he had

kept his mouth shut.

>>>Shinji: Funny how I never learn.

>>>Kensuke: She WAS all over you, should have seen it.

>>>Mana/Rei: And her `love' for Kaji, can't forget that.

"Shinji, you SLY DOG!" roared Touji.

"You know, she seemed pretty fond of him from the

start," noted Kensuke, pushing his glasses up.

Asuka clenched a fist, strongly fighting the urge to

clobber them both this instant. "Idiots! It's not like

that! I was just trying to make Kaji jealous!"

>>>Misato: Wasn't she talking to the crowd?

>>>Asuka: I'm multi tasking.

The boys seemed to ignore her claim entirely.

"You're faster than my uncle," Kensuke said.

>>>Shinji: Doesn't he only have one leg?

>>>Kensuke: Yeah, I said faster, now in what respect though.

"How'd you get her to move in with you?" He got out a pad

to take notes.

"She was ASSIGNED to live with me and Misato,"

Shinji said.

"Who?" Kensuke asked. "Wait...that woman at the

docks?"

"Red jacket?" asked Touji.

"Reeeeally short skirt?" asked Kensuke.

>>>Misato: It's not that short is it?

>>>Mana: I thought it was a belt.

>>>Misato: Shinji, why didn't you tell me!

>>>Shinji: Well…after living with you, I just got used to it.

"Long hair?" asked Touji.

"Shapely legs?" asked Kensuke.

"Killer body?" asked Touji.

>>>Rei: A killer.

>>>Asuka: Tease, cause of stupid males to die of blood loss.

"Er, I guess," said Shinji, embarrassed by their

behaviour.

"Aah! I envy you!" cried Touji.

"Yeah. You're a lucky guy, Shinji," Touji said.

"So, these two always this idiotic?" Asuka whispered

to Shinji. He shrugged in reply.

"I thought you were living with your Dad. Isn't he

in charge of NERV?" Kensuke asked.

"Misato is my commander," Shinji said.

"Father...he...I haven't lived with him since I was five."

He stared at the ground, not wanting to think about it.

>>>Shinji: Five, thought it was more like three!

>>>Rei: The story line has diverged from reality, the 2nd's good nature is proof.

"So what is she like?" Touji asked.

"Does she walk around the house naked?" Kensuke

said. "I gotta envy you."

>>>Asuka: Not completely but close.

>>>Kensuke: May I stay over more?

>>>Misato: I feel like kicking you out now and getting comfortable.

"Completely irresponsible," Shinji said. "We have

nothing to drink in our house but beer and..."

Touji shook his head. "I think you're the only guy

on Earth who would ever complain about that."

>>>Shinji: I don't like getting drunk!

>>>Misato: Then why do you keep drinking my stuff?

>>>Shinji: You put it in my teapot.

>>>Asuka: WHEN DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN.

>>>Rei: When you are at the Hokari residence, it is…fun.

-*-

As she worked out the math problem on the board,

Asuka was surprised at its complexity. Not that it was more

than a five second challenge for her; it was that the other

students were expected to be able to solve it. She hadn't

had a class with students her own age in years; she was a

good four years (more in some subjects) ahead of them

intellectually.

>>>Asuka: Only four years? It's more like four centuries.

>>>Kensuke/Shinji: All Hail Queen Asuka, lord of the Classroom.

They didn't look smart, and some of them, like

Touji, lived up to that in some subjects, but they all

seemed to have at least one area where they WERE a match for

her, or at least close.

>>>Misato: Whow…Asuka is a bit humble in this movie.

>>>Rei: Yes, it is a gross miss-characterization.

Touji had a knack for geometry, for

example, and had solved the problem that had stumped even

her, which given his usual behavior (after knowing him for

four hours, she was quite sure she fully understood him),

she would never have predicted.

>>>Misato/Kensuke: Touji and math?

>>>Shinji: It's Bizarre-O-World.

Rei was also quite intelligent, though she did much

better in the sciences and math than in the literature

course they had in the morning, where she might as well have

been dead. Asuka was already wondering what went on inside

Rei's head; no one could really be so passive.

>>>Asuka: Or that dense, gullible, dim-witted.

>>>Mana: She beat your score. What's that make you?

Much to her embarrassment, Asuka suddenly realized

she'd lost her train of thought from thinking about her

classmates instead of the problem she was doing, and her

hand had started to doodle part of the nightmare she had had

the previous night. Quickly, she erased it, feeling

irritated with herself that she had fallen prey, even in a

dream, to her old fear of...whatever it was. The thing that

had haunted her dreams for a time when she was a little

child.

>>>Kensuke: Taste?

>>>Mana: Revealing cloths?

>>>Asuka: I hate you guys.

It had a single lidless red eye, and a body of

winged shadow, a formless shape, a crawling mass of black

tendrils, a thousand forms united by one thing, a mocking

voice and a contempt for her. Okay, two things.

>>>Shinji: Read the "Lord of the Rings" when you were young?

>>>Asuka: I am not afraid of Sauron!

She dismissed the nightmares from her mind; Dr.

Himmelfarb had taught her to master her dreams long ago. In

her dreams, she was the knight before whom no threat could

stand, and she'd show them no Angel would stand before her

either.

>>>Kensuke: Show them like you did the slave driver?

>>>Mana: He almost killed you didn't he? If it wasn't for Shinji…

She had broken free of the nightmare last night and

prepared to deal with its maker, only to be torn from the

dream by Shinji screaming. Now she was a little groggy,

which irritated her. With a shake, she cleared her head and

went back to work.

>>>Misato: Planning revenge against Shinji no doubt.

The problem soon lay prostrate before her on the

board. The teacher nodded. "Very good, Asuka. You can go

to your seat. Shinji, I want you to do the next one."

She noticed Rei's gaze following Shinji as he went

to the board; she seemed more alert, and a little tense as

if she expected the chalk to suddenly become the next Angel,

which seemed strange since it wasn't her problem to solve.

>>>Rei: I worry about my Shinji-kun.

>>>Asuka/Mana: YOURS?

>>>Shinji: Chalk can't be possessed by an Angel…can it?

As she sat down by a girl named Hikari, the class

president, she kept an eye on Rei as well as watching the

board. Shinji did a competent job, although he froze up for

a few seconds partway through it, then finished yawning and

did the last bit.

Rei immediately relaxed, looking pleased in a way

that was hard to explain. Was that a small hint of a smile

Asuka saw? She wasn't sure at all. As Shinji returned to

his seat, Rei's impassiveness returned.

There's something weird about that girl, Asuka

thought.

>>>Asuka: And I bet it only gets weirder.

>>>Rei/Mana: Good job Shinji.

>>>Kensuke/Misato mutter: Kiss-asses.

-*-

She ate lunch with Hikari, wishing the school had a

cafeteria with decent food instead of having to eat rice and

pickled vegetables out of a stupid looking box. "So what

does your dad do?" she asked Hikari.

>>>Shinji: You don't like Bento's?

>>>All save Asuka: Is that possible?

"He's a labtech on some secret NERV project he can't

tell us about. It has to do with genetics, I think. Just

about everyone in our class has parents working for NERV.

>>>Misato: More like parent, none of you have a `set.'

And if they don't, they're doing some kind of support

service, like running a grocery store so the NERV people

have food to eat. Company town, basically."

Asuka nodded. "NERV-Germany is like that. All my

friends there had parents working for NERV too."

"Do you miss them?"

>>>Kensuke: She'd have to have a heart to do that.

>>>Shinji: Ken…you're really pissing her off, better stop.

"I miss Dr. Himmelfarb, and some of my instructors,

but..." She blushed. "I didn't have too many close friends

my own age."

"Well, I hope things will be better here!"

"Me too."

-*-

Physical education was another story from the other

classes. Most of the other girls didn't have a chance

against her; they were doing running today, and she left

them all behind her. Well, she left almost all of them

behind her. When she turned back from looking at the others

who were eating her dust, Rei was jogging alongside her,

barely even breathing hard.

>>>Asuka: That isn't possible.

>>>Shinji: I never knew you were so athletic Rei.

>>>Rei leans on Shinji: We should…practice.

Asuka pushed up her speed, and Rei matched it.

Asuka grinned. A real challenge. Such things were rare for

her. "Wanna make a bet?"

>>>Asuka/Rei: No! The last one turned out terrible!

>>>Kensuke: Yeah, you both lost. Go Mega-playboy.

Rei blinked and turned her head to look at Asuka,

but said nothing.

"The loser has to...to..." Asuka racked her brain,

trying to think of something appropriate. She had no idea

what would embarrass Rei, or if anything would embarrass

her.

>>>Mana: How do you embarrass somebody with no sense of modesty?

>>>Misato: Tease her about Shinji.

"We're done," Rei said, suddenly stopping, faster

than Asuka believed possible.

The horde of other female students was closing in,

but the two of them had completed their circuit of the track

a good half lap ahead of the others. The coach said, "Excellent.

Interested in trying out for our track team?"

Asuka came back once she managed to stop, started to

say something, then had her attention caught by the

spectacle of the boys trying to do pull ups. They were, to

put it simply, failing to cover themselves with glory.

>>>Misato: None of them seem to be doing any pull ups.

>>>Shinji/Kensuke: So we're not he-men. Nothing wrong with it.

More precisely, most of them were not doing very

well. Touji had finished already, and so had two other

boys, but Kensuke was struggling with his third pull up and

Shinji was moving at a snail's pace. Most of the others

were either flopped out on the ground or likewise putting

more effort into getting one pull up done than many people

might have to put into breaking a chair to pieces with their

bare hands.

>>>Mana: Asuka being the expert on that of course.

>>>Shinji/Misato: She only did it a few times.

Hikari came over to Asuka. "Wow, you're fast!"

"And they're pathetic," she said, pointing at the

guys. "I could do twenty of those in the time they're

taking to do five. Not to mention the way Shinji is

slacking off."

"What?" Hikari asked.

>>>Rei: A…Asuka must poke fun at Shinji at least twice a day.

>>>All stunned: You…You called her Asuka!

"He's GOT to be better than that. They wouldn't

make anyone an EVA pilot if they can't even manage some pull

ups." She started to walk over towards Shinji.

>>>Shinji: But they did MAKE somebody do it.

>>>Asuka: Oh don't be so huffy, you look fine `leans on him.'

>>>Mana: Yeah, we all love ya the way you are.

"I think I'll challenge him to a little contest later; maybe he just

needs someone to light a fire under his feet."

"I dunno if that's a good idea; he..."

>>>Misato: Has a guardian Angel, no offense intended.

>>>Rei: None taken. I enjoy my job.

"It'll be fine. They want us to be physically fit,

and I'm sure he's just trying to fit in. He's got to learn

that if you're good, you have to let people know it. And if

they feel inferior, well, it's their problem, not yours."

Hikari started making measuring gestures around

Asuka's head. Asuka blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure your head can still fit through

doors."

>>>Mana: How do you deflate that big head of yours?

>>>Kensuke: Shinji suck the air ou…OUCH!!!

>>>Misato: Rei, you shouldn't have hit him with the remote. You could

>>>have broken it.

-*-

Standing naked in a big metal tube as multiple

kinds of invisible radiation bombarded him and little

machines detected everything about him was not Shinji's idea

of a fun time.

>>>Misato: If it were, I'd have you take a psyc evaluation.

>>>Shinji: Why am I the ONLY one that has to get nude?

>>>Girls drooling: Hush…can't concentrate.

Especially when two women his own age were

in tubes next to him, and two more women were watching him

while operating the machine.

>>>Kensuke: At least when you're done you don't have to waste

>>> time taking your cloths off again.

>>>Shinji: You are going to hell when you die. You do know that right?

He wasn't totally naked; he did have little white

patches stuck to his body at various points, most of them

not too embarassing (like his wrists), with wires running

from them. Those didn't bother him too much. It was the

other ones, the ones he couldn't figure out why they really

needed to know, that bothered him.

>>>Kensuke: So who puts those on him?

>>>Misato: We have a raffle for the honor. Good money maker.

He could hear Asuka shifting uncomfortably, which

was a little reassuring. Rei, on the other hand, could as

well have been dead as alive. Finally, he said, "Are we

done yet?"

Ritsuko checked off a box on a clipboard. "Almost.

I see you've gained two pounds, Shinji. You may be needing

more exercise."

Asuka cracked her knuckles. "I'll see about that."

Ever so slightly, Rei's eyes narrowed.

>>>Mana: And a dog exploded.

>>>Kensuke: Can't wait to see how Ayanami solves the Asuka problem.

Shinji tried to figure out why he had said yes when

Asuka had challenged him to some sort of...actually, he

wasn't quite sure what she had challenged him to, since she

had slipped into German when she said it, and he hadn't

really wanted to know. He'd only said yes because everyone

had been egging him on, not that they'd known what he was

agreeing to either. "I guess it's probably because Misato

doesn't have anything healthy to eat."

>>>Misato: Don't blame me. I offered to help you work out.

>>>Rei: Your `workout' was not acceptable.

>>>Misato: Nude aerobics is very healthy.

Ritsuko nodded. "I'll tell her to buy you healthy

food. How she keeps her figure, I can't understand.

>>>Kensuke: Kami-sama is very kind.

Although at least she doesn't eat pizza four times a day

anymore. I'd get up in the morning and trip on a pizza box

and nearly bust my head." She ticked off another box on the

chart. "Rei, come with me once you've got some clothing on.

Asuka, Commander Ikari wishes to speak with you once you get

dressed.

>>>Asuka: I feel cold.

>>>Rei: At least YOU get to keep your cloths on…perverted old man.

>>>All: What…the…hell?

And Shinji, I believe Maya wanted to talk to you

about something." She gave Maya a quizzical look, and Maya

simply smiled.

>>>Rei: Foul temptress.

>>>Misato: Maybe she does have a thing for him, Chances taken I suppose.

>>>(Sorry couldn't help it, still getting demands for the mst of that)

"Okay," Shinji said.

"The synchro rates are up for all of you, which is

good. Overall, I'm pretty pleased," Ritsuko said, smiling.

"I shall have to send Dr. Himmelfarb a copy of your records

for this test, Asuka. I believe she'll be pleased too."

"So what am I up to?"

>>>Kensuke: I'd say about 165 lbs.

>>>Asuka: Mana, could you? I'm too tired.

>>>Mana cracking knuckles: Sure thing. Hold still geek. (censored)

"You've gone up three points, while Shinji and Rei

are up six since their last test."

"What exactly does the Synchro rating mean,

anyway?" Shinji asked.

"The higher it gets, the less delay there is

between you trying to make your EVA do something and the EVA

actually acting. Beyond 100% synchro, the EVA could

actually react faster than you could normally get your body

to react to your thoughts.

>>>Misato: Then it eats you.

>>>Shinji: I would NOT like to know how that feels.

You have to achieve at least a

50% synchronization to create an AT-field. The danger is

that the more synchronized you become, the harder it is to

distinguish between EVA and yourself. Currently, Asuka has

a 62% ratio, Shinji has a 68% and Rei has a 86%."

>>>Asuka/Shinji: WHAT BUT SHE'S NEVER BEATTEN ME?

>>>Rei smiles softly: Appears that I am the best now.

"I guess you've been training a long time," Asuka

said. "It's taken me forever just to get to 62."

"Umm...I just started a few weeks ago."

Asuka boggled. "WHAT?" That just wasn't possible.

"He's got quite a knack," Maya said. "He had to

fight an Angel the first day of his training."

>>>Shinji: Training? What training?

>>>Misato: The "Welcome to NERV" brochure counts as training.

Asuka felt her brain beginning to melt. "He beat

an Angel with NO training?"

"Umm...I've seen a few Godzilla movies," Shinji

said. "And Rei was fighting it too. She really did most of

the work." He fidgeted nervously.

"We shared the kill," Rei said quietly. "He did

his best."

>>>Mana: Course she'd say that…brownie points.

"Anyway, we need to get you all moving," Ritsuko

said. "Commander Ikari dislikes waiting."

"You've got to let us out first," Asuka pointed

out. Maya laughed.

>>>Shinji: She has such a pretty laugh, doesn't she?

>>>Misato: Better warn Maya about three possible assassins.

-*-

Gendo looked up at the knock at his door. "Come in,

Langely."

Asuka came in, wearing her school uniform. She

walked over to the desk and saluted. "Reporting as ordered,

Commander."

He blinked, though he continued to frown, and

briefly saluted back. "I've called you here to review your

performance against Amaliel."

She nodded. "Yes sir."

"Are you familiar with the concept of obeying

orders?"

She frowned back at him. "Yes."

>>>Misato: Knowing about something, and practicing it are different things.

>>>Shinji: I'm still impressed how she chopped and bagged it so fast.

"You chose to disobey the orders given you during

your battle with Amaliel, despite being told multiple times

to only capture him." His voice was harsh.

"He bit my hand off!"

"You still have two hands."

>>>Rei: Got you on that one.

>>>Asuka: Mere technicality.

Asuka stepped forward, then stopped herself. "How

the hell was I supposed to CAPTURE him with only ONE hand?

And you KNOW what I meant!"

>>>Rei: He doesn't care what you meant.

"A stump can generate an AT-field as well as a

full hand. You could still have followed your orders. Even

without that, you still could have simply battered him

unconscious, rather than dismembering him. They're still

finding small pieces of him scattered about the docks."

>>>Mana: I say it deserved dismembering. Damn Tentacle beasts.

>>>All: Here-here!

"Easy for you to say when you're sitting behind a

desk instead of RISKING YOUR LIFE!"

"I think you rather conclusively demonstrated that

Amaliel was no real threat to an EVA even when it is piloted

by an idiot."

>>>All: Ooh…He's going to get it.

This time Asuka couldn't stop forward. She lunged

ahead and pounded both fists on the desk. "I AM NOT AN

IDIOT!"

"You have been training for eight years to pilot

an EVA. Shinji made fewer mistakes on his first day, going

into battle with the first Angel, than you did against what

will probably be the weakest Angel any of you will face.

Most importantly, Shinji didn't endanger the future of NERV

through disobedience.

>>>Shinji: How could I? I only knew how to make the thing walk.

>>>Kensuke waking: Uh…could have fallen on his desk.

We could have learned a lot by

studying Amaliel, things which might make the difference

between the survival and destruction of humanity. I do not

need petulant children who go berserk when they scrape their

finger."

"HE BIT MY HAND OFF!"

"After you wasted time playing around with him.

Pointlessly abusing the weak is pathetic.

>>>Misato/Shinji: Hypocrite!

I do not want

someone piloting EVA who wastes time and cannot control

themselves. This is your warning. Do not do this again if

you wish to pilot EVA. You can be replaced."

>>>Rei: They have a tank of her as well?

>>>Mana: I pray not. World can't handle more than one of her.

She narrowed her eyes. "I know how hard it is to

find another pilot. It could be months or years before you

find another pilot who can stay sane!"

He frowned. "Who told you that?"

"Dr. Himmelfarb."

>>>Shinji: Add another name to the `accident' rooster.

He reached up and pushed his glasses back up his

nose. "And what other classified information did she tell

you?"

Asuka suddenly realized she'd likely gotten her

foster mother in trouble, which made her even more angry.

"How should I know? She didn't go around saying, 'oh by the

way, I'm going to tell you things you shouldn't know'! I

just asked her one day why there weren't more pilots and she

told me."

>>>Mana: Simple enough question.

>>>Rei: I prefer only three pilots. I would like only two.

>>>Asuka: Misato! She's going to try to kill me. Look at her!

He stared at her, and she felt her anger wavering,

his eyes black pools behind the shining glass, like an

undertow sucking her in. She glared back at him, shoring up

her willpower with anger, and the feeling that she was going

to collapse faded.

>>>Shinji: I didn't think it possible, but father is even more

>>> evil than before.

>>>Misato: I know Shinji-kun, I'm scared too.

After a long, hostile silence, he pursed his lips.

"If your willpower was backed by discipline, you would be

very valuable. I see Dr. Himmelfarb must be getting soft

in her old age."

She slammed the desk with her hand again. "Dr.

Himmelfarb is a decent woman, not a rat bastard like you who

can't even be bothered to take care of his own child!"

>>>Mana: But he can take care of somebody else's.

>>>Rei/Shinji: Lets change subjects, please.

His voice had been calm before, despite brief

bursts of anger, but now he let loose a torrent of words.

"I am not running a day care center! I don't have time to

coddle children! This is a WAR, and you are a soldier! You

will learn to obey, or you will be court martialed and

punished! If we fail, HUMANITY DIES!" Now he was pounding

on his desk. Luckily, it was metal, and neither of them

could do more than annoy it.

>>>Asuka: He likes to bitch.

>>>Shinji: Bet mom was going to leave him.

>>>Misato: Any woman would.

Asuka wilted. "I...it..."

He leaned forward. "There is NO room for error!

This time you got away with your errors because Amaliel was

truly the Angel of Weakness.

>>>Kensuke: And you absorbed part of him.

>>>Mana/Misato: That's going to haunt you later.

But against one with real

power, against the ones you will face in the days to come,

such stupid, petulant, childish behavior will get you

KILLED. And it will get Shinji and Rei killed as well.

>>>Shinji: He said my name…not 3rd child.

>>>Rei: It is normal for children to act childish, right?

And if we fall, humanity falls. It will make the Second Impact

look like a picnic!"

Asuka stepped back. "I...I didn't..."

"You will obey, or you WILL be sent to play with

your toys like the child you are. Do not fail me again.

Dismissed." He sat down hard.

She stormed out, cursing to herself in German.

He watched her go, then shook his head. "I should

have taken more care to insure the quality of her

upbringing, but I never expected Himmelfarb of all people to

produce someone undisciplined." He frowned. "And what else

does she know that she shouldn't?"

>>>Asuka: He has a rubber fetish.

>>>Shinji/Misato: Explains the plug-suits.

-*-

Shinji sat down by Maya, feeling much happier now

that he had clothing on. "So what did you want to talk to

me about?"

>>>Mana: You have to take your cloths off again.

"That story in the newspaper. Did you see it?"

>>>Shinji: Lot of stories in the papers.

He blinked. "There's a lot of stories in the

newspaper, you know."

>>>Kensuke: Whow…stereo.

"The one about you and Rei. Did that bother you?"

"Not as much as all the teasing I got from it. I

dunno how whoever did it even got that picture." He relaxed

a little more. He had been afraid he was going to be chewed

out or told some bad news.

>>>Misato: Maya doesn't have rank enough to do that.

"I'm glad you and Rei get along. She really needs

a...friend...her own age."

>>>Asuka: That didn't sound forced at all.

>>>Rei: I have friends older than myself?

She does make me look like I'm extroverted, Shinji

thought. "She's been a lot of help to me, and I'm really

grateful. And even though she can be kinda creepy

sometimes, she's a nice person."

>>>Asuka: Creepy is an understatement.

>>>Shinji: So she can run at the speed of sound. It's not that odd.

"Just nice?" There was a touch of insinuation.

"Huh?"

Maya seemed slightly disappointed. "You play the

cello, right?"

Shinji nodded. "It's very relaxing."

"Rei plays the violin. You ought to invite her to

play with you some time. She's very good."

>>>Kensuke: Yeah, "inviter her to play with you."

>>>Asuka pauses the movie and shoves Kensuke's book down his throat.

"All we need is another violin and a viola and we

would have a..."

"Hmm. I think Asuka also plays the violin. I'll

see about finding you a viola player. Now THAT would look

good in our next press release." Maya smiled. "Heroic Eva

pilots stage Tokyo-3 concert."

>>>Misato: Could pull in some revenue.

>>>Asuka/Rei: Until the Angel's crush the stadium.

Shinji blushed. "I'm not that good."

"You said that at the poker game, too."

"I was the only one sober."

"Next time we'll get you drunk too, then."

"Ack."

>>>Mana: What does `Ack' mean?

>>>Rei: It means yes correct?

>>>Misato: A drunk Shinji. Wouldn't take much.

-*-

Kaji walked into Commander Ikari's office just as he

pushed his glasses up his nose. He needs to tape those

things in place, Kaji thought.

>>>Asuka: I'd use a stable gun.

>>>Shinji: Super glue.

"You called for me, sir?"

"I understand you've done some work for the German

branch drafting wargames." He sounded irritated for no

apparent reason.

"Yes, sir. You want me to design one for the

Children?"

>>>Misato: I didn't know Kaji knew how to program.

>>>Rei: In C++ or Visual basic?

Commander Ikari pointed to the chair, and Kaji sat.

>>>Misato: Wish I had that much control over him.

"Exactly. We plan an operation in northern Canada." His

voice was starting to relax.

Kaji blinked. "That's gonna take a damn long

extension cord."

"We have battery packs we wish to test. They're

just to tide us over until the S^2 engines are ready.

>>>Shinji: Ready to go beserk or ready to vaporize bases?

They will have a half-hour operating time." By now, he was all

business again.

Kaji frowned. "That's still not very long."

"We will have a mobile recharging center, but not

as mobile as we would like.

>>>Mana: I can see the commercials now, "Energizer: Eva Tested

>>> Mother approved."

That's why we need to plan this wargame; they have to learn how to use their power wisely."

"No berserker rages like at the docks."

Commander Ikari nodded. "Exactly. Against the

less intelligent Angels, such mistakes can be overcome, but

they will likely become more cunning as this progresses. We

must become more cunning, faster. How soon can you prepare

the wargame?"

"I'll talk to Ritsuko-chan and get right on it."

>>>Kensuke groggily: Doesn't he mean `in' it?

>>>Misato slaps Kensuke back into unconsciousness.

Commander Ikari blinked, then nodded. "Good.

Make it so."

>>>Mana/Shinji: Captain Pickard!

-*-

Maya looked up as Ritsuko entered. "Why are you

frowning?"

"This data isn't correct. Something has gone wrong."

>>>Misato: She forgot the leather again?

>>>All: What?

She perched on the back of the chair by the bio-test lab

monitoring equipment, rapping the results with a pencil.

Maya came over and stared at the brainwave pattern

charts. "What's wrong?"

>>>Mana: Ayanami's a freak monster and Asuka isn't a total bitch.

Six charts, each a week apart, were swiftly flipped

past her. "Note the first four are identical except for the

synchro waves becoming more regular. But these last

two...since the battle with the Cherubim, there have been

some irregularities here and here." She pointed to two

spots. "Hypothalamic activity and...hmm."

>>>Misato: Need a Ritsuko to Japanese translator.

>>>Rei: I understand her.

>>>Asuka: What good does that do for us?

She flipped through two more charts from another

pad. "And slightly enhanced hormone levels. Perhaps it's

just a phase of puberty, but it could also be a sign she's

going to start having seizures like subject #34 did. I will

NOT be pleased if we lose her."

Maya nodded. "I think she'll be fine, but I will

keep an eye on it."

>>>Rei: Seizures?

>>>Mana: Good kind or bad kind?

>>>Shinji: What's the difference?

>>>Misato: The source.

-*-

Shinji still wasn't quite sure how he had ended up

agreeing to a swimming race with Asuka.

>>>Shinji: I can swim?

>>>Mana: It is a strange new world.

She looked good in

her blue one-piece, but he didn't think he was trying to

show off for her. He'd never tried to show off in front of

a good looking woman that he could remember, anyway.

>>>Asuka: Good? I'm a GREAT looking woman.

>>>Rei: You have a sense of modesty now. That two-piece was sick.

So it

couldn't just be some macho thing...Shinji wouldn't know macho

if it chewed off his leg.

>>>Misato: That's not a bad thing.

>>>Kensuke: Macho…um…with cheese?

>>>Mana: That's NACHO!

A lot of it probably had to do with

the fact that agreeing to it had been the path of least

resistance, since she had been in an incredibly bad mood

after her talk with his father. And he did enjoy swimming.

>>>Shinji: I'm scared. I `enjoy' drowning?

>>>Asuka: If you sink, I'll resuscitate you `winks.'

Asuka shook a finger at him, frowning. "Now, don't

you DARE slack off on this like you were before! Or I'll

kick your verdamnt ass!"

He blinked. "Uh...okay." Slacking off on what? He

turned to Ritsuko, who had joined them at the pool and even

changed into her swimsuit. "Are you gonna race too?"

>>>Misato: She didn't change. She always wears it.

>>>Rei: Why is that?

>>>Misato: Said it's easier to take off.

"I'm just here to play lifeguard, while I wait for

some test results to be collated for me," she said. "And my

shift is almost over, so I may do a little swimming later."

Asuka said, "Give us the go signal." She seemed

just a tiny bit calmer.

Ritsuko nodded. "Ready." The two got into diving

positions. "Set...Go."

They both dived over the edge into the water in

fine form. While Shinji was not a graceful swimmer, he was

fast, faster even than he expected. The water felt warmer

than most pools; he wondered if it was heated.

>>>Shinji: That…is me?

>>>Misato: Look at that stroke.

>>>Kensuke: I…'Better not, twice in ten minutes is enough.'

The race was a dead heat, with each of them

alternately pulling ahead just a foot or two, then falling

behind. He got a substantial five foot lead at one point,

only to lose it when he crashed clumsily into the wall at

the far side of the pool while Asuka lithely bounced off it,

then pulled ahead for a while. She grinned as she bounced off

the wall and swum past him, finally looking more like he was

used to seeing her.

>>>Mana: Full of water?

>>>Rei: Opening your mouth while swimming is a bad idea.

>>>Shinji: She sank like a rock.

By the time they finished the first lap, Shinji was

getting into it. He was doing a lot better than he had been

doing in physical education today. Maybe my legs have

gotten stronger, but not my arms, he thought. It was

certainly fun, whatever the reason.

-*-

Rei walked down the corridor, heading for the

elevators so she could leave the Geo-Front and go home. She

walked in silence, content to be alone.

>>>Kensuke: No urge to stalk Shinji?

>>>Rei: Need to get my gear from home.

Then the screaming started, a woman's voice crying

out incoherently in terror. It cut through Rei's head like

a knife, and she fell to her knees, blocking her ears and

closing her eyes. She could feel her heart speed up and her

breathing got heavier.

Part of her had known this would happen; it always

happened sooner or later. But normally, it wasn't this bad.

Something must have gone more wrong than usual this time.

>>>Mana: How many voices do you hear in your head?

>>>Rei: I lost count.

>>>Shinji: Do they all scream like that?

It took a good three minutes for it to pass.

Finally, her body eased and the screaming died away. Rei

stood back up, dusted herself off, checked her pulse, and

resumed her trip.

-*-

Kensuke looked over at the geometry homework. "Man,

how can you figure those proofs out so fast?"

Touji shrugged. "It's a knack." They were over at

his apartment, working on their math and literature

homework. "I wish we could have gotten Shinji to do the lit

stuff for us. What are those tests he's taking, anyway?"

>>>Shinji: Hell, I don't know what they are.

"Just a routine physical, I think," Kensuke said.

"Show me how..." He trailed off as a stabbing pain ran

through his head. "OW!"

Touji was clutching his head as well. "Damnation!

Where's the aspirin?"

"You too? And this is your house! How should I

know?"

>>>Asuka: Kensuke, you think Touji knows ANYTHING?

>>>Kensuke: He knows about sports statistics.

The pain began to fade. "I can't remember where

Dad keeps it."

Kensuke looked around. "What WAS that?"

>>>Misato: Undoubtedly something that will kill many people.

>>>Mana: Or drive them insane.

"Stress homework, I guess. I mean, stress from

homework."

"I guess."

-*-

Shinji pushed off the wall again, giving it his

best effort. Still, Asuka pulled ahead of him again; she

was clearly more used to doing this sort of race than him.

>>>Asuka: I'm simply better than you.

>>>Rei: Would you race me then?

He pushed himself harder, wondering why it was so important

to win this; normally, he wouldn't have put out this much

effort. Something...he felt the need to win, for once.

Then he heard the scream. A woman was howling in

agony, her voice an incoherent wail that ran up and down

a full octave of agony, cutting through his concentration.

He floundered and dipped completely below the surface of

the water. The screaming only got worse, which made

no sense.

>>>Misato: You've neglected your physics again haven't you?

>>>Shinji: I can't take another lesson in thermal expansion.

>>>Rei: Sound waves travel better in water.

His body tried to curl up into a ball, but he

fought it off, trying to struggle to the surface, but he

couldn't think through the scream. His head felt like it

had icepicks jabbing into it. He saw Asuka clutching her

head as well, and then his vision faded to black as the pain

caused by the scream forced him to flee into unconsciousness

to escape.

What remained of his will knew this was a bad idea,

but it wasn't consulted. The darkness swallowed him up.

>>>Mana: Shin-chan's going to die?

>>>Misato: Nah, Ritsuko's there.

>>>Shinji: THAT is why I HATE swimming.

-*-

Gendo clutched his forehead, his eyes closed, as he

sat at his desk. He stood and frowned. "Not good at all."

He rubbed his temples, then got himself some aspirin from

his desk. A few pills later, he reached for the phone to

make a call which would not be enjoyed by its recipient.

>>>Asuka: Meaning they would die.

>>>Rei: Slowly and painfully.

-*-

Prince Shinji kneeled before the throne of his

father, King Gendo of Tokyo-3, who sat on his great basalt

and onyx throne, his gloved fingers pursed to form a

triangle.

>>>Shinji: I hate that position.

>>>Misato: He really needs to learn new forms.

"You have done well so far in your twelve labors,

Shinji, but a single task remains before you complete these

tasks and recieve the greatest reward of all."

>>>Shinji: A new Sdat?

>>>Asuka: More storage space?

>>>Mana: My very own Shinji doll?

>>>Misato: Beer?

Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka, Kaji, Maya, Makoto, Touji,

and Kensuke stood to one side, robed in white greek robes,

moving in unison as they asked, "And what reward is that?"

>>>All: Ok, that's a little strange.

"The greatest reward that any mortal could

recieve," King Gendo said. "You will become a god."

Shinji's eyes flared. "A god?"

"A god?" the chorus asked.

"A god.

>>>Asuka: A god?

>>>Mana: Yes, a god.

>>>Kensuke: STOP SAYING THAT!

But this task...it will be the hardest of all." He paused. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," Shinji said. Normally, this would not

have had much appeal for him, but it was a dream, and oft

one acts strangely in dreams.

"You must move all of Princess Asuka's

possessions to her new room without help from any other

human. By sunset."

>>>Mana: That isn't possible.

>>>Misato: It's impossible to FIT all her stuff into her room.

The sun was two thirds of the way down. Prince

Shinji ran. Soon, he was covered with sweat. It seemed

impossible to move all of Princess Asuka's possessions; she

had a million boxes of clothing and cheesy novels.

>>>Asuka: Cheesy! They are not cheesy!

>>>Mana: They're light porn novels. Accept it.

Just as

he was about to give up, Pen-Pen came around the corner. "I

can help you, but it will cost you."

It was a dream, so this didn't bother Shinji. "I

will pay any cost to become a god!"

"When you become a god, you have to take me with

you so I can become the god of penguins."

>>>Shinji: He sounds really feminine.

>>>Asuka: He sounds like Rei.

>>>Rei: Wark. (Same voice actress ^_^)

"Sure."

Pen-pen clapped his hands and a horde of penguins

erupted from everywhere and began hauling boxes. Soon, all

the boxes were moved, and Prince Shinji stood before the

king. "I have done all you asked. Now I ask to become a

god!"

"Ritsuko, take him to the vat of becoming."

>>>Kensuke: Vat, that isn't a good sign.

>>>Misato: How can a human make another human a god?

Ritsuko stepped out of the chorus as they all

said, "The vat of becoming? So that is the secret!"

Ritsuko led him to a great spiral staircase, and he

descended after her, deeper and deeper into the dark.

Slowly the spiral staircase became more and more crude,

electric lights becoming gaslights becoming torches,

becoming phosphorescent moss. The chorus followed, singing

something guttural and gloomy.

>>>Shinji: When did this become a musical?

>>>Kensuke: It was the same time you passed out in the pool.

>>>Rei/Mana: You have odd dreams.

At the bottom, crude runes adorned the archway

hacked from the primal rock. Passing through, they came to

a great underground lake which bubbled and seethed, a great

ocean of LCL. It rippled and sometimes formed tendrils

which reached skyward, then fell back in on themselves.

Ritsuko said, "The great vat of becoming."

>>>Shinji: It's tar.

>>>Asuka/Mana: It's disgusting.

>>>Misato: It's going to eat Shinji-kun.

"That's not a vat. It's a pool."

"The great vat of becoming!" the chorus repeated

excitedly.

"Where a man becomes a god."

He began to back away. "I don't like it."

The chorus grabbed him. "Where a man becomes a

god."

"Let go of me!"

>>>Kensuke: No going back now.

>>>Shinji: I may never sleep again.

His clothing was ripped from him, rough fingers

bruising his flesh, and then naked, they lifted him like a

sacrifice. They howled incoherently now as they ran towards

the lake, while Ritsuko chanted and shouted in a deep voice

not her own. "Come, Lords of the Outer Realms! Come and

recieve this one into your number!"

>>>Asuka: I'd like to say I like this scene but…

>>>Misato: Ritsuko became a baritone.

They hurled him into the lake as he screamed, and

the lake rose up and pulled him under. It suffused him,

leaking in through his pores and sphincters, eating away at

him and replacing him with itself. He became LCL and it was

him. And the black fluid became a void, and around him, all

was filled with the idiot flautings of a dozen mindless

tentacled frog-things, which capered and played a dance for

the beings who capered about in a great circle, ringing

something behind him. The part of him that was still his

'real' self knew something horrible was there, but the god

Shinji turned to gaze upon its master, giving a great

incoherent cry of soulless joy.

>>>Misato: I need another beer.

>>>Shinji: I think I'll have one too.

At the last moment before he would have gazed upon

it, the void cracked open, and there was light. And the

light burned away the darkness, the void, the gods, and the

dream.

>>>Kensuke: Azathoth!

>>>Mana: Step into the light! Step into the light!

-*-

Shinji stared up into Ritsuko's face. "What...what

happened?"

>>>Misato: You took LSD.

"You nearly drowned." Ritsuko glanced over at

Asuka, who turned and stared off at the walls. "Asuka

pulled you out in time, and I was able to save your life."

She frowned. "Why didn't you get out of the water if you

were so tired you were going to black out?"

"Because...I...uh...I was surprised I passed out.

Someone screamed. Or something. And then...whammo."

Ritsuko frowned deeply. "Who screamed?"

>>>Shinji: I answered that question, `someone.'

>>>Misato: Don't mind her, she just has to ask each question twice.

"Not Asuka. Some woman. I think. Or that might

have been part of the dream." I must have dreamed about

falling into the vat thing because I was starting to drown,

Shinji thought.

Asuka blinked. "I didn't hear anything. My head

hurt like hell right about the same time you went under,

though."

"I heard a scream."

"Come with me, Shinji, and I'll run some tests. We

need to make sure there's nothing wrong with you. You too,

Asuka, just in case."

>>>Kensuke: Well its certain now. Shinji is going to die.

>>>Asuka: It's his punishment for forcing me into more tests.

"More tests?" He sighed and stood up from where he

had been lying on the ground. "I guess passing out again

would be bad."

"Passing out while piloting an EVA would be a

disaster," Ritusko said, handing him a towel. "Let's get

going."

>>>Misato: I'd have to hurt you for that. The damage report would

>>> be terrible.

>>>Shinji: `Sometimes I wonder why I stay here.'

-*-

Asuka would never join the great chefs of Europe,

but she was better than Shinji and Misato combined, and

Shinji was glad she had decided to cook dinner.

>>>Asuka: I can cook!

>>>Shinji: You can cook, I can swim, wonder what power Rei got.

>>>Mana: The power to vaporize small animals.

In fact, he

hoped she'd take the job permanently. He and Misato dug

into the sauerkraut and sausage as if it was manna from

heaven.

"You like it?" she asked.

"This is great," Misato said. "But where'd you

find all this food? I mean, I didn't have anything to make

this and..."

"Kaji took me shopping. Dr. Akagi said we need

good food so Shinji doesn't get fat."

"Hey!"

>>>Shinji: Didn't have to be so blunt about it.

>>>Rei: We just need to make you exercise more.

"It's what she said. She said you had nothing but

garbage in your fridge and..."

Misato frowned. "Garbage, eh? She's the one who

lived on chow mein take out for a year."

>>>Mana: That is Manna from heaven.

"You sure that wasn't you?" Shinji asked, thinking

about the infinite supply of cup ramen in the fridge.

"Hrmph."

>>>Kensuke: What does that mean?

>>>Misato: It means don't ask.

-*-

'The Invasion of Earth' was a fairly simple wargame.

Its creators had simply copied the paranoia that had

prevailed just after the Second Impact and turned the common

fear that it was the first step of an alien invasion into a

game. Given the current situation, it didn't seem as

paranoid an idea to either of them as it had in 2002 when it

came out.

>>>Mana: That is Kaji's idea of a wargame?

>>>Shinji: What do you expect from somebody that can't shave.

They'd flipped a coin; Shinji was the aliens. The

game designers had gotten a little silly, naming the alien

races after various thinly disguised German noble houses.

(It was a German game). The only one Shinji recognized were

the 'Zopplin' who looked like gondala-less blimps.

>>>Kensuke: So Asuka's mother is an alien? Explains a bit.

>>>Asuka glares daggers: It's Zeppelin! Not Zopplin.

Shinji was winning, although he was sure it was pure

luck; he'd chosen his strategies mostly on aesthetic

grounds. The dice just seemed to love him; he couldn't roll

less than a ten on two dice if he tried.

>>>Kensuke: I hate you so much! So much I can taste it!

He rolled and actually got a seven, which was the

worst he had done the whole game. His pile of four

'Hindenborgs' died horribly, and Asuka cheered.

>>>Misato/Shinji: Oh the humanity!

>>>Asuka: That was so punny…really I mean that.

"FINALLY!"

It looked like the Russians had once again turned back an

invasion. Shinji had made three efforts to take Moscow, but

had been turned back every time.

>>>Misato: Russians, what gives?

However, in the interval,

he had overrun Africa and the Middle East. Things weren't

looking good for Asuka's forces, although Europe and Asia

still held fast.

He shrugged. "There's more Hindenborgs where those

came from." He had turned northern Iran into a Hindenborg

breeding center. They were tough on attack, but poor on

defense, and Asuka had beat off the first two waves by

taking advantage of that. However, she'd gotten so obsessed

with it, she kept not noticing his attacks elsewhere until

it was too late.

>>>Rei: The great tactical genus at work?

>>>Asuka: Stow it, not like you could do better.

>>>Misato: If I were you, I'd divert forces from the main in

>>> a flanking maneuver to the west, added by a pincer attack from

>>> both south and north…what?

>>>All: So it wasn't a fluke.

"Not anymore." She played a 'Nuclear Strike' card

and blew up the Hindenborg breeding center, flicking the

counter off the board. "You know, I'm surprised they

haven't tried nuking the Angels."

"They did," Shinji said. "The day I arrived in

Tokyo-3, they nuked the first one, but he got better.

Akagi-san says it has something to do with them being made

of material that obeys different physical laws or

something." He shrugged.

"What...so they can't be hurt by Earth stuff?"

>>>Pilots: That isn't a good sign.

>>>Kensuke: You're inside a giant alien monster!

"I guess." He stared at the board, trying to

decide what to do next.

Asuka frowned. "Then how can an EVA hurt them?

It's made out of Earth stuff. Right?"

>>>Rei: That is logically incorrect. Why ask such a foolish question?

>>>Mana: It's Asuka. Did you expect more?

"Maybe they used Moon rocks?" He scratched his

head. "Maybe Misato knows."

Misato looked up from watching Sazae-san on the

TV. "What?"

"How can EVAs hurt an Angel if a nuke can't?"

Asuka asked.

"A nuke CAN hurt an Angel. The problem is that

Angels are incredibly hard to kill.

>>>Mana: Really? Here I thought they died if you sneezed on them.

>>>Misato: Don't sass me spy.

They partly exist in

another dimension, or some such rot. You'd have to ask

Ritsuko for the details. EVAs can kill them because they

can generate an AT-field, which disrupts the one that holds

the Angel together."

"Like the way the one Rei and I killed kinda

popped like a bubble once we used our AT-fields on it

enough."

>>>Shinji: It was nicer than having it explode in your face.

>>>Rei: Or explode in you.

Misato nodded, getting up to get a new beer.

"Exactly. The difference is that the Angels innately have

an AT-field, while an EVA makes one with technology."

"So what is an AT-field?" Asuka asked.

>>>Kensuke/Mana: Tell us! Tell us!

>>>Misato: If we do, we have to kill you.

Misato opened the fridge. "Some kinda

forcefield-like thing. You could ask Ritsuko, but I dunno

if you'd understand the answer. I didn't. I know what it

does, and that's enough for me."

Asuka nodded. "It's still my turn, right?"

"Right."

In the end, the game Earth was assimilated by the

Hindenborg. Resistance was futile, much to Asuka's

displeasure.

>>>Kensuke: So the borg took over earth?

>>>Shinji: Thought the Enterprise stopped them.

>>>Asuka/Mana: Geek alert!

-*-

Gendo looked at Ritsuko's report in his office as

she sat nearby. "So the latest test subject got out of

control."

"We had gotten as far as an actual plug test. The

subject merged with the LCL and began to transform

into...well, we never found out for sure, since we aborted

the test." She frowned. "Which I was not informed of."

>>>Shinji: Informed of what? The test or the abortion?

>>>Asuka: Informed that her dye job is really bad.

>>>Misato: I tried telling her, but she won't listen.

"You were busy," he said. "And testing these

subjects is not your primary responsibility. It should have

been routine at this point."

"We've lost a lot of potential pilots to their

first plug test. Just the first contact with LCL either

killed them or destroyed their minds. It's hardly routine."

>>>Asuka/Shinji: That's a lie right?

>>>Misato/Rei:…

>>>Asuka/Shinji grip each other: Now I'm scared.

She pursed her lips. "I'd like to be kept informed of the

next test."

"So you can do what? Watch in horror? What I

really want you to work on is to determine why more than the

usual number of people sensed...something when this

happened. We can't allow a recurrence of this."

"I know. All three of the Children felt it, but

Asuka only felt it weakly. I have some theories, but

nothing concrete yet."

"Get to it."

>>>Asuka: WHAT?

>>>Rei: It appears that you are the weakest child of all.

>>>Shinji: I'd trade places if I could. Drowning doesn't' fit into

>>>my `wants' category.

-*-

"Did you do the homework for math?" Touji asked

Shinji. Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke were eating lunch

together.

"No, I got caught up in this silly wargame with

Asuka. 'The Invasion of Earth'. By the time I won, we didn't

have time to do all our homework. Misato got mad at us."

"She's got 'The Invasion of Earth'?"

>>>Kensuke: A waste of time. The game sucks.

>>>Asuka: SUCKS? It's the greatest! German's rule in that game!

"Yeah."

Kensuke nearly drooled. "You've got to let me come

play it some time! I started learning German because I got

sick of waiting for someone to translate it into Japanese!"

>>>Rei: Still wish to claim it sucks?

>>>Kensuke blushing: I, um, shit.

"It's not mine; you have to ask Asuka," Shinji

said, then shoveled rice into his mouth.

He ran across the yard and fell to his knees before

Asuka and Hikari, who were eating lunch together.

>>>Mana: This isn't going to end well is it.

>>>Shinji: If he starts praying, maybe.

"You have to let me come play Invasion of Earth with you! I'll do

anything!"

Hikari said, "Get a grip! You look like an idiot!"

>>>Asuka: When doesn't he?

>>>Shinji: While he's hiding behind his DM screen.

Touji nodded. "She's right, you know."

Asuka laughed. "Sure. I'd be happy to."

"Woo woo! I'm in heaven!"

>>>Misato: You just agreed to play a game with Kensuke.

>>>Asuka: What kind of sick world is this?

-*-

Shinji answered the door. "Hi, Kensuke. Here to

play with Asuka?"

"Sounds kinky," Misato said from the living room.

Kensuke, who was standing next to Touji, laughed.

"Something like that."

>>>Asuka: For that you die?

>>>Mana: Who Misato for saying it, or Kensuke for being the target?

>>>Asuka stopped: Actually, I don't know.

Shinji let them in, then yelled for Asuka. "Hey,

Asuka, Kensuke's here for the game."

Asuka came running out with the box. "I won't lose

this time."

"Shinji really beat you? I thought he made that

up," Kensuke said, grinning.

"Hey!" Shinji exclaimed. "I did win!"

>>>Shinji: First time for anything.

>>>Rei: We should test that ideology.

>>>Shinji blushing: That's not what I meant.

"The dice cheated in his favor, so I exiled them and

got some more from another one of my wargames," Asuka said,

putting the game down on the table. "You don't need this

for homework, do you, Shinji?"

"I'm going to practice my cello, so no, I don't need

it."

"You play music?" Touji asked. "Can you play 'Fly

Me to the Moon'?"

>>>All: I HATE that song!

Shinji blinked. "Who composed that?"

"Umm...Frank Sinatra?"

>>>Misato: Damn you `old blue eyes.'

>>>Rei/Asuka mumbling: Damn upside down spinning.

"I don't know any non-classical music. I suppose I

could try to fake it if you hum it, but..."

This soon proved to be a mistake.

-*-

A little while later, Touji was watching TV with

Misato, while Shinji continued practicing a cello piece he

actually knew. After the fifth mangled version of Fly Me to

the Moon, Misato had threatened to throw the cello to the

moon.

>>>Mana: I'd love to see her try.

>>>Shinji: Better than her last threat.

>>>Misato: Get my `Budwieser' again and I WILL run it over with my car.

Kensuke, the defender of Earth, was hard at work

trying to fight off Asuka's alien hordes. He wasn't doing

too well. Asuka was only gloating a little.

>>>Rei: Dancing?

>>>Shinji: Laughing and asking him to surrender?

Then the doorbell rang. "Go get it, Touji," Misato

said. "I have to make sure I don't miss when these two

people kiss."

>>>Mana: Who?

>>>Asuka: Shinji and me.

>>>Rei: You are playing a game with Aida-kun, it would be him.

It was Kaji and Ritsuko. Kaji blinked. "Is this

Misato-chan's place?"

"Yeah. Uh...come on in." Touji preceded them into

the living room. "There's some...hey, you two were at the

docks, right?"

Ritsuko nodded. "And you're Shinji's friend Touji.

I'm Dr. Akagi Ritsuko. Nice to meet you."

"You can just call me Kaji," Kaji said.

Asuka spun in her chair. "Kaji!" She ran over to

him and glomped onto an arm. He looked faintly embarrassed.

>>>Shinji fumed: He is twice her age.

>>>Rei/Mana: Who could like a girl with such lack of respect.

Ritsuko simply smiled, while Misato snorted.

"Stray cat follow you home, Ritsuko?"

Kaji looked over at the table. "Ahh, 'The Invasion

of Earth'. A fun game. It's hard for the humans to win,

though. Not very realistic."

Misato snorted again. "Oh, you think it would be

easy to throw off an assault by vast alien hordes? Going to

criticize my..."

>>>Rei: Humans would have a great disadvantage in technology.

>>>Mana: We just have to use bio-weapons.

He shook his head and went over, hovering over

Kensuke. "Any aliens capable of travelling here in vast

numbers would have technology that would make N2 bombs look

like cherry bombs. And they'd probably have the resources

of dozens of worlds. It would be like Monaco versus Russia

in a war to the death. Still, it is a fun game. The trick

is to build up your biotechnology so you can plague the

aliens to death."

"Thanks!" Kensuke said.

"Hey, whose side are you on?" Asuka fumed.

>>>Shinji: That's the billion yen question.

>>>Misato: The bastard is always on his OWN side.

He put a hand over his heart. "I am but a humble

knight who fights in the defense of humanity, as are we all

here in Tokyo-3. I live for nothing less than to give my

life for the three fair princesses gathered here."

>>>Shinji: I pray he means Asuka, Misato, and Ritsuko.

>>>Rei/Asuka: So do we. That would be too weird.

Ritsuko laughed heartily, while Asuka blushed and

Misato rolled her eyes. "Mind if I grab one of your beers,

Misato?" Ritsuko asked.

"Go right ahead. Heck, get everyone a beer. Even

Shinji."

"Hey, I don't drink!" Shinji said. "And even if I

did, I can't drink and play the cello at the same time."

>>>Shinji: Unless I grew a third hand.

>>>Mana: I could hold it for you.

>>>Kensuke: Hold what we won't ask `snickers.'

"Touji can help you."

"Only if I get one for myself."

"Naturally."

Touji rubbed his hands together. "Okay, Shinji,

time to get you hammered."

The doorbell rang again. Touji got it again. It

was Maya and Makoto, and hovering behind them, Rei.

>>>Rei: I was starting to feel neglected.

>>>Mana: Come to steal their souls?

"Hello?" he asked, since he didn't know either of the first

two, and didn't notice Rei immediately.

"Hi!" Maya said. "We heard there was a party over

here."

He blinked. "What, did you get a psychic message?"

"Kaji told us."

"Right. Come on in."

Rei trailed a few feet behind the other two. Makoto

made a beeline over to Misato, while Maya went over to

Ritsuko.

>>>Mana: Heart on their sleeves.

>>>Misato: Makoto, he's so fun to tease.

>>>Shinji: Must you tease everybody?

"Hi, commander. Up for a poker game?"

"Sure! I'll crush you both and get my money back I

lost to...hey, Shinji, lose the cello. It's time for me to

win back your big hoard of money."

"Uhh..."

"We're going to teach Rei to play poker," Maya

said. "I think she'll be a natural."

>>>Shinji: She's got the face alright, but lacks the required

>>>card tricks.

>>>Rei: Could you train me to be better with my hands?

>>>Misato: `I'm getting a little worried by all the innuendo.'

Rei didn't look so certain as she frowned slightly.

"Perhaps."

"Do you have any money to bet with?" Misato asked.

Rei shook her head. "Shinji, loan her a stake."

"Hey!"

"Can I play?" Asuka asked, clinging to Kaji's arm

again.

"Hey! I haven't crushed you yet!" Kensuke said.

>>>Mana: Hopefully with Shinji's cello.

>>>Kensuke: I will never lose a wargame! I am the wargame KAMI!

"Why don't you devastate the poor pathetic

Earthlings first, then you can join in," Kaji suggested.

Asuka nodded, and went to the table. "Prepare to

be annihilated."

>>>Kensuke: Bring it!

>>>Asuka: I have it right here! `Flexes' I'll kick your ass anytime!

>>>Misato: The challenge has been made! Soon you two will battle!

-*-

An hour later, she and Kensuke were still going at

it,

>>>Asuka: If you say anything nerd, I'll put your dice in a very bad >>>place.

>>>Kensuke: `Damn' Sorry ma'am.

while most of the others were descending into a drunken

haze. Shinji and Rei had most of the chips between them for

two reasons. One, they were the only completely sober

players. Secondly, Rei had the ultimate poker face.

>>>Rei: Why do people keep saying that?

>>>Misato: Because, only Shinji took the time to learn the

>>> nature of your facial expressions.

Misato sobbed. "My pair of threes should have

taken that!"

Maya nodded. "You're evil, Kaji."

After taking a swig of another beer, he stared at

her. "Me? Rei's the one who won that round!"

"You bluffed me."

"I folded the second I saw my cards!"

"Yeah, so I thought it meant I had to get lucky

this time."

>>>Shinji: Wait, that doesn't make sense.

>>>Asuka: Yes it does. They're so hammered they can't think.

>>>Kensuke/Misato: Kaji better watch out for Asuka.

Shinji sighed. "We really shouldn't play when

you're all drunk."

Ritsuko waggled a finger at him. "Pish posh. I'm

not half as drunk as Misato."

"I'm not half as think as you drunk I am!" Misato

shouted, then fumbled with her cards. "Has anyone got a six

higher than a spade?"

>>>Rei: A spade isn't a numerical possibility.

>>>Misato: How much have I drunk?

>>>Asuka: You're a phase two on the Misato drunken scale.

"This isn't go fish," Ritsuko said. "And it

definitely is not...I'd better not remind you of that."

"Of what?"

Kaji groaned. "Not the strip go fish game."

"Woo! That was fun! Yeah, let's play that!"

>>>Mana: Who said that?

>>>Rei: Why are you looking at me?

>>>Girls: You've been acting odd lately that's why.

"Let's not," Shinji said.

"Do it!" Touji shouted, his face red from a little

too much beer.

"Not with the kids watching," Kaji said.

"Awww," Makoto said. "Let's put them to bed,

then."

"That's it! All Children must go to bed together,

now!"

>>>Rei/Asuka: That an order?

>>>Shinji: She didn't mean it like that and you know it!

>>>Asuka/Rei: So?

Asuka and Kensuke watched as the drunken adults

herded Shinji, Touji and Rei off to Shinji's bedroom, then

started having a loud fight over whether or not to play

strip go fish. Kensuke whispered, "I wonder if we'll ever

go mad like they have."

>>>Kensuke: It's hard NOT to go mad when Lovecraft is involved.

"Hey! We missed two!" Misato said. "Kaji, put

them with the others."

They were soon herded into Shinji's room. Touji

had passed out just a few seconds earlier. Shinji said,

"I'm glad this doesn't happen every night."

"I sure hope not." Asuka sighed. "Maybe tomorrow

we can finish the game, Kensuke."

"I think I'd better go home." He forced Touji to

mostly wake up. "Have a good night," he said, dragging off

the half-conscious Touji, which wasn't easy.

>>>Rei: We are alone with him.

>>>Misato: No hanky-panky while I'm drunk in the next room.

This left the three Children staring at each other.

"So you play cello, Shinji?" Asuka asked. "I play violin.

How about you?" she asked Rei.

"Violin," Rei said.

"We should play together some time," Asuka said.

"That's what Maya was saying to me," Shinji said.

"Do you need someone to walk you home, Rei?"

"Maya wants me to stay until she leaves."

Shinji blinked. "Oh, she lives by you?"

"Yes. Two doors down."

>>>Rei: What?

>>>Shinji: Maya lives in that run down building?

>>>Misato: I think Rei lives in a better building in this. I hope.

"Oh, right. Uh, so...what are we going to do?" He

thought for a moment. "So what did Father ask you about?"

It made her pretty mad, whatever it was.

"Your dad's pretty pissed off at how my first fight

came off," she said, thumping the wall with her fist.

>>>Misato: You did almost get bitten I half.

>>>Mana: She means when she went into a rage and lost a hand.

>>>Kensuke/Rei: Are savior.

"He is?" Shinji asked. "But you won."

"He wanted me to capture the damn thing! But we're

here to kill those monsters! You can't hold one of those

things captive." She clenched her fist in anger.

>>>Rei: `Best not to talk about that.'

>>>Shinji: We caught one of those flying things, right?

>>>Kensuke: Somebody's out of the information loop.

"I don't

care what he says, I did what I had to! I couldn't capture

the damn thing with only one hand anyway!"

Shinji backed away from her. "I'm sure you

did...what you had to. Father holds everyone to a very high

standard."

>>>Mana: She had to cut it into inch cubes?

>>>Kensuke: How else could the marketers sell it.

"He went on and on about how..." She ground her

teeth. "Damn it, I've been training since age five to pilot

EVA! This is why I'm alive! He can't take that away from

me!"

"He threatened to fire you?"

>>>Asuka: If by fire mean literally.

>>>Rei: Burning at the stake is Nerv's method of execution.

She punched a hole in the wall, which wasn't hard,

given it was flimsy drywall. "If something like that

happened again, yes. But he can't replace me!"

>>>Shinji: My room!

>>>Kensuke/Misato: Now I know where to put the camera…

"Well, he could get another pilot, I'd think."

Shinji said.

She shook her head, then got a wicked grin. "He

yelled at me for knowing this, but I think we all have a

right to know. We're the only three people who've survived

the first time they tried to pilot an Eva, and they've tried

dozens, maybe hundreds."

Shinji's eyes widened. "They WHAT?"

"Dr. Himmelfarb told me about it. Most people

don't actually die, they just go mad, but..."

"No one told ME anything about that!"

>>>Misato: Would you have piloted if you KNEW you'd most likely die?

>>>Kensuke: She's got a point man.

>>>Shinji: I feel so…pissed off right now.

"Some just fail," said Rei.

Asuka blinked. "I thought everyone who tried either

succeeded, died, or went mad."

"Dr. Akagi and Commander Ikari did not die," replied

Rei, calm and icy as ever.

>>>Misato/Shinji: Those two tried?

>>>Mana: Hope they didn't…do anything in the plugs.

>>>Shinji: MOM!

Maybe Rei did go mad slightly, Asuka speculated.

Maybe she wasn't always like that. "They tried it?"

Wait...Rei knows?

"Long ago." Rei's red eyes unfocused slightly.

"Years."

"I could have died! They said it was safe!"

>>>Mana: Nerv and its lies, have to love it.

>>>Rei: For Shinji, it wasn't a lie.

He didn't tell his own son, but he told Rei? Asuka

thought. Or maybe someone else told her...or she may have

just seen it, since she lived here. Or maybe he just wanted

an excuse to yell at me. Bastard.

"It was an emergency," Rei said.

"I..." He sighed and sank in on himself. "Well, I

guess I did live, so...Did Misato ever try it?"

"Don't know," Rei said.

>>>Misato: Nothing on earth could get me in that thing.

>>>Shinji: Hypocrite.

>>>Misato: I know, but I'll make it up to you.

The door opened and Misato stuck her head in.

"Shinji! C'mere, you gotta give me a loan. I'm wiped out."

It soon became obvious that most of them were wiped

out, in one sense or another.

>>>Asuka drooling: Kaji…nude…

>>>Rei/Mana: It's so small.

>>>Misato: Tell me about it…'blushes,' damn it!

-*-

When dawn cast the first rays of light into

Misato's living room, it looked like the aftermath of some

sort of gas attack, unconscious but still breathing bodies

strewn everywhere. Rei was the first to arise and bathe,

and by the time she came out to the living room, she saw

Kaji was up.

>>>Shinji: I have a new reason to distrust him.

>>>Rei: I may have to kill him.

>>>Asuka/Misato: He better not have peeked!

"Hello, Rei."

"Hello."

The microwave dinged and he extracted two boxes of

ramen, passing one to her. "Breakfast for you. Then you'll

have to help me wake everyone up."

"It's Saturday."

He grinned. "I know. We've got a wargame

scheduled. This is a perfect test...the Angels won't

necessarily wait for a day when we're all at our best to

attack."

She sat down with the ramen. "True."

>>>Mana: Really, Rei could attack at anytime.

>>>Rei/Shinji: Going to pretend I didn't hear that.

-*-

About a half hour later, the three Children rode

together in the elevator that always took them to where they

would enter their plugs. Rei was watching the floors go by,

while Shinji gathered his thoughts and Asuka fidgeted. "So

how do these things usually go?" she asked.

"We haven't done a wargame before," he said.

>>>Kensuke: Hello? No training? Any of that ring a bell?

"I just wish we were going out to do battle for

real," Asuka said. "I feel like a knight suiting up for

combat. The red knight for my red Eva. Emperor Frederick

Barbarossa risen once more."

>>>Rei: And repeat the dream and lose.

>>>Misato: Dooming mankind.

Shinji blinked. Red knight...That must be why I

dreamed about a red knight. "I suppose I'd be the purple

knight, then."

"It's the color of royalty. Since you're the King's

son, after all." She laughed. "Prince Shinji, son of Bad

King Gendo."

>>>Misato: Saying stuff like that will get you put in jail.

>>>Kensuke: How's that asswhole going to find out?

>>>Back at Nerv, Gendo: Little pecker! Kozo, were going to bomb his home.

>>>Kozo: That's not the reason we installed the bug!

Shinji shivered. He didn't want to be the King's

son. Not after the dream he had had.

"And Rei...blue...blue...A princess from the kingdom

beneath the sea."

Shinji wasn't sure why, but it seemed very

appropriate.

>>>Kensuke: The fact she's a half fish Elder God doesn't factor in?

>>>Rei: What did you just say?

>>>Mana: I don't think any normal person should know.

-*-

Shortly afterwards, the children were ready for the

wargame. Kaji stood on the bridge by Misato and Ritsuko and

the rest of the staff. "Operation Sleigh Ride will now

begin." Kaji paused for Misato to laugh.

>>>All: Merry Friggen X-mas.

"The backpacks

attached to your EVAs will enable you to operate for up to

thirty minutes, possibly more if you conserve energy,

without the power cord. Your next mission, once you're

ready for it, will likely involve operation in the

wilderness, away from any ready source of power."

He gestured and Makoto punched up the operational

map onto a large screen. "This is the forest near Tokyo-3.

We've rigged a mobile radio transmitter. Your job is to

track it and catch it before your power supply runs out.

Once we complete this first test, we're then going to do a

game of 'tag' once the power packs recharge.

>>>Kensuke: That's the wargame? A game of tag!

>>>Misato: Kaji just isn't that smart.

This should

simulate hunting an opponent more effectively, since any

real foe will be rather larger than the mobile transmitter.

Misato, you're in charge. Turn loose the hounds." He

grinned and stepped aside.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road."

>>>Misato: And that is also another way of punishing Nerv personel.

>>>Shinji: What is?

>>>Misato: Just wait and see.

-*-

Five minutes into the forest, they hadn't seen hide

nor hair of anything that might have been the transmitter,

although the directional display in the lower left corner of

the vision of each EVA indicated they were still moving

towards it. "So what does this thing look like anyway?"

Asuka asked, batting away branches which got in her way.

"It's strapped to a motorbike," Misato said.

>>>Asuka: That's sick Misato!

>>>Rei: Strapping employees to a motorcycle and having us catch it.

>>>Misato: Crushing part of them in the process.

Asuka frowned. "How're we supposed to spot a

motorbike with our heads stuck in the treetops?"

"It wouldn't be much of a test if it was easy, now

would it?" Misato said. "Shinji, report."

>>>Shinji: I have to do homework too?

The trio had split up somewhat to triangulate;

their positions could be seen at the bridge on the big area

map. Shinji was several hundred yards west of Asuka, while

Rei was several hundred yards east of her.

>>>Rei: Good, I'm close enough to disable Unit-02.

>>>Misato: No `friendly fire' in this wargame Rei.

"I'm still

reading north by northeast." Then a few white flakes

drifted down from the sky past him. He looked up and saw

clouds where there had been blue sky minutes before. More

flakes began to drift down. "What the..."

"What is it?"

"Snow," Asuka and Shinji said in unison.

"What about you, Rei?"

"The clouds are unnatural in appearance; the snow

should not exist."

>>>Mana: Seeing how we don't have seasons.

>>>Misato: It's a X-mas miracle.

"But you see it?" Misato asked.

"The temperature outside my EVA is too warm for

snow, but my sensors are showing it," Rei's voice was calm.

"I believe something is sabotaging my visual sensors."

Shinji said, "How can you tell what the temperature

is?"

>>>Asuka: Another of her freaky super powers?

>>>Kensuke: It's been 70 degree's for the past fourteen years?

"Sensor display 2," Rei said.

The snow, or whatever it was, was getting more

intense, though visibility was still good. Shinji now

noticed it was vanishing as soon as it hit the ground.

"This is seriously weird."

"It's part of the test," Misato said, glancing

over at Kaji. "You'll likely have to hunt your next target

through a snowstorm."

"The snow is simulated by Magi and fed into your

visual perceptions the same way your sensor displays and

other things not really being seen by your EVA is."

>>>Pilots: Not really being seen by our Eva?

>>>Misato: `They must never know its all a fake the angels don't exist'

Kaji said. "Originally, I planned to simulate the Angel as well,

but it ate up too much of MAGI's processing capacity. If we

can refine the code, we may do that eventually."

"Is this crater being simulated too?" Asuka

asked as she stepped between two trees to the edge of

multiple overlapping holes in the ground, some of which were

full of bits of charred wood, rock, and metal. There was a

tire stuck up in a tree by her head, the word 'Goodyear'

still visible.

Misato blinked. "Crater?"

"There's a bunch of craters, some rubble, bits of metal..."

Unit02 bent over and picked up a bumper. "Most of the

license plate on this is gone, but I can read the bumper

sticker, 'Boldly Going Where No One Has Gone Before'.

Someone bombed a Star Trek fan, it looks like."

>>>Kensuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

>>>Asuka/Rei: Nothing of value was lost.

"It's not important for this," Misato said.

"Keep going." She turned to Kaji. "What the...oh, ah."

>>>Mana: Kaji doing something he shouldn't?

>>>Shinji/Misato: Don't talk like that!

She turned back to the screen, leaving him to boggle for

once. "Keep going."

Shinji said, "It's getting hard to see through all

this white stuff."

"Snow is like that, you know," Misato said

impatiently. "Rei, report."

"Target is north by northwest, northwest by west, 10

degrees north of west...5 degrees."

"Asuka, it should be coming right at you!" Misato

said. "Shinji, move east."

Asuka looked around. "I don't see anything." It

was getting harder to see through the 'snow', but she kept

staring. "It's moving around...trying to go between me and

Rei, I think. Rei, come west!'

>>>Rei: Don't tell me what to do.

>>>Asuka: I'm not good enough to be the puppet master!

>>>Rei slaps Asuka: I'm not a puppet!

She moved to intercept, as did Rei. Several trees

got plowed under as they sped up.

>>>Shinji: Anybody else wonder why the Eva's keep changing size?

>>>Misato: Bigger than a skyscraper, and now about the size of a tree.

Shinji circled around as

best he could. Continued reports of shifting directions

came in, and finally, Rei and Asuka charged right at it, as

they finally caught sight of the man on a motorcycle with

the transmitter. He paused, caught like a deer in

headlights.

>>>Mana: There IS a man on that bike!

>>>Kensuke: A dead man.

"Rei, watch and wait, Asuka, close in." Misato

commanded.

Asuka closed in and the man turned and drove right

at Rei. Unit00 dropped to one knee to go for a grab while

Unit02 chased him towards her. Then at the last moment, he

suddenly turned and roared north, leaving Unit02 to crash

into Unit00, unable to stop in time. They both went

tumbling through the trees, knocking a gash in the

undergrowth.

>>>Kensuke/Mana: You BOTH suck!

>>>Asuka/Rei: It's HER fault.

Misato sighed. "Shinji, start moving north. Rei,

move north by northeast. Asuka, go straight after him."

-*-

Two more near-misses ended with the three of them

herding the NERV motorcycle man into a small clearing with

the EVAs closing in. With 3:20 still on the timer, Unit00

successfully grabbed the cycle. "Mission complete."

"We did it!" Asuka said. "Chasing that thing was

like trying to catch a cockroach without killing it."

>>>Shinji: But…we DID kill it.

>>>Asuka: He was just weak, that's all.

"Don't pat yourself on the back too soon," Kaji

said. "You have completed the mission. But can you get

back to Tokyo-3 before your power gives out?"

Shinji groaned and had his EVA do a quick

calculation. "No. If we run, we'll burn power faster. If

we walk, we won't make it."

"The EVAs have a five minute internal supply,"

Asuka said. "With that, we can make it."

"Very good," Kaji said. "Likely during the real

operation, you'll have to power down to just life support

after you make the kill on the next Angel until we can find

you and bring a backup pack."

>>>Shinji: Odd. Kaji always knows exactly what's going to happen next.

>>>Misato: If only I knew what he was going to do next.

"How are we going to get out to the middle of the

wilderness on only thirty minutes power?" Shinji asked.

"We'll fly you in and airdrop you. Risky, but it

will be necessary," Misato said. "I'm still planning the

operation. Anyway, return to base while you still can."

-*-

"Report, Commander Katsuragi," Gendo said. He,

Misato, Kaji, Ritsuko, and Fuyuutsuki were seated around a

small conference table.

"The battery packs performed as expected, the

Children worked well as a team under my guidance, although

given the minimal danger of the exercise, I can't make any

promises for a real combat situation." Misato passed a

report across the table to Gendo.

"Any trouble from the second Child?" Gendo asked.

>>>Misato: No, you successfully scared the shit out of her.

"She performed adequately, obeying all orders to the

best of her ability."

"Good. Dr. Akagi?"

"Maya is continuing to refine the 'snow' code. We

hope to eventually be able to simulate almost any

environment in order to facilitate such exercises in the

future. The battery power caused no physiological problems

to the EVAs. While not an ideal replacement for the S^2

engines still in development, I believe the packs will

function quite well. We have one down in sector 8 which

we're exposing to extremes of cold to make sure it won't do

anything surprising."

>>>Kensuke: And if it does?

>>>Misato: Sector 8 is were we put the jerks.

>>>Shinji/Rei: But they'll die!

"Inspector Kaji?"

"Until the Angel simulation code is ready, this is

likely as good a field exercise as we can manage. The fact

that the battery packs take so long to recharge prevented

carrying out the second exercise; I'd tend to recommend

having several backups available during an extended

operation.

>>>Asuka: First tag, then what? Hide and Seek?

>>>Rei: Knowing Inspector Kaji's mentality. Yes.

They could be parachuted in, thus enabling the

Children to carry on a several hour long operation, and

making it easier to get them back to civilization

afterwards."

Gendo nodded. "Fuyuutsuki?"

"The inspector's recommendation is within our

budgetary limits. And I've received visual confirmation of

the next Angel near Hudson's Bay."

"Commander Katsuragi, draw up a plan of operations

immediately. The instant we get enough battery packs, I

want to move out against our next target."

"Yes, sir."

>>>Pilots: NO FAIR!

-*-

end part 5 -

end mst part 5

-*-

Kensuke: Well that was odd.

Rei: Shinji can swim, Asuka can cook, it snows, and…

Asuka/Mana: Rei's a total freak!

Shinji: That's not very nice.

Mana: So?

Shinji sighs: So I want you to stop harassing each other.

Asuka: How you going to make us?

Shinji grins: I have my ways.

Misato: OK! Aida-kun the player sheets?

Kensuke passes out the `Call of Cthulu' player sheets: This one starts out in a bar.

Shinji: I'm a private investigator?

Misato: A bartender, very nice touch.

Mana: I'll pass.

Asuka: Exotic dancer! You pig!

Rei: I am unemployed?

Asuka: Whatever lets start this. I go to bartender and ask for a beer.

Misato: `I.D. please?'

Asuka: I give her my I.D.

Kensuke: Roll it.

Asuka grumbles: I failed the roll.

Misato: I'll call the cops to arrest the fake.

Shinji: I order a coke.

Rei: I sit by…

Asuka/Kensuke: We know you sit by the P.I.

Mana: Thrilling.

Asuka: I pull out my 9mm and aim at the bum at the bar.

Kensuke: `Not again! They'll all die before they get the mission!'

Rei: It appears as I know magic. I shall cast a spell.

Misato/Kensuke pale: A spell in CoC shit.

Rei rolls for her summon spell and passes. An byankee appears out of the sky.

Kensuke: DAMNIT! Role sanity.

All: Fail.

Kensuke: Great…you all are temporarily insane…you suck at this.

Misato: Not my fault. Well, shall we start the competition?

Shinji: What competition?

Rei: The otaku vs. the devil.

Asuka and Kensuke eye each other: BRING IT ON!

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Mst author notes

Well this story isn't as easy to mst as others. Random's and Rakna's work fit my meathod perfectly, this is a bit harder, but I'm trying. I think I had quite a few really good parts in this one. Hope you liked it. School is out for about a month so I hope to catch up on things. And I FINALLY got a job ^_^ I'm a host at Apple Bee's.

Well I'm asking for requests for X-mas not, should I do just an x-mas mst special, a New Years mst special, or both?

Well until next time

Ja Mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie@secondimpact.com)