Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Windows of the Soul ❯ Prologue

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Gainax and Hideki Anno do, if I did I'd be making more eps
and I'll be wallowing in my own crapulence and a pool full of money. `_~

Author's Notes: This story was inspired by looking at my sunglasses for too long.

Windows of the Soul

By: Epyon Zero

Within the bowels of NERV's headquarters at Central Dogma there are many secrets, some well
known others held in the confidence of a trusted few. One of those most secret of secrets was the
location of Gendo Ikari's condo. Only three people in all of NERV knew of its location. First was
Sub-Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki, since he was Gendo's oldest friend and he needed to know
where to reach him at any time. The second was Dr. Ritsuko Agaki, she knew because she
occasionally slept there when Gendo was in the mood. The final person who knew of the
whereabouts of Ikari's condo was the First Child, Rei Ayanami. She knew because she was the
only person who saw the non-threatening side of Gendo, the side that was still human. That, and
he hated to eat alone.

As he rose that day and prepared to head into Dogma it was this human side of Gendo that had
control. Pulling on the garments that made up the Commander's uniform Gendo smirked to
himself. He himself hadn't had a hand in designing the thing, some nameless bureaucrat did, but it
did suit the situation that he found himself in. The black pants and coat that made up the greater
part of the piece seemed to be indicative of the long black shadows that followed him, both
personal and professional. Every day he was reminded of that which he had lost, his wife Yui.
Every time that he looked at Rei, Eva-01, or even Shinji, the part of him that was still human and
feeling, gave him an icy knife of guilt and remorse. The blood red shirt was a constant reminder of
the blood that was on his hands.

Yet it was this guilt and remorse that made him go on. Gendo knew that if NERV succeeded in
destroying all of the Angels he would have a chance to see Yui again. Still contemplating his life,
Gendo bent down to the bedside table and retrieved the final objects to complete the familiar
terror-inspiring form that he showed in public, his glasses and gloves.

Gendo didn't really need the glasses, he had better than perfect vision. What the glasses did do
was shield from outside view his eyes and enhance his psychological impact on people. "Or
perhaps" his mind threw out, "It is to prevent people from seeing you." That was partially true
in a sense. If people could see his eyes it gave them one more advantage in figuring out what he
was thinking. Also it would allow them to see the burning pits that his eyes had become. "A
philosopher once said that the eyes are the windows of the soul." he muttered. "If this is true then
I have no soul. It died the same day as Yui." Looking down at his scarred hands Gendo caught a
faint glimmer. It was his gold wedding band, he never took it off. Even when he'd burnt his hands
rescuing Rei from 00's entry plug he'd demanded that the doctors leave the ring on his hand. The
glimmer represented one of two things that drove Gendo's life. Memories of his wife and their
brief time together, and a promise. After all the wedding vows had been "until death us do part."
And Yui was still very much alive, just inaccessible. Slipping the gloves over his hands and
straightening out the non-existent wrinkles, Gendo set his face into the familiar icy mask that he
usually portrayed and left his apartment to the shadows and broken dreams that lurked there.

The End

Author's notes: Well what do you think, this is my first, and probably only Gendo-centric fic. Hat
I've done is to take what's known or surmised about the man and write this. Basically what I
figured is that through all of the Machiavellian intrigue Gendo does it all comes down to his basic
mind set, no matter the cost the ends always justify the means.

Epyon Zero