Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ FEAR ❯ FEAR ( One-Shot )

Fear

I am alone. I feel lonely. I don't have any friends. Only my books.

I am afraid.

The books help me cope with my Fear. Immersed in a story, I can forget that I am afraid. But the Fear always waits for me, ready to come out and take me over. Sometimes, it creeps at the edge of my consciousness, other times it grips me tightly with its icy hands. Then I am looking for a book. An exciting story. Always fantasy. Nothing that is situated in the real world.

I don't like the real world. It is big and mean. And my Fear is in the real world. My Fear that sometimes threatens to devour everything. When beads of cold sweat cling to my skin, when all my limbs start trembling, then I know that it is near. Ready to attack. It is coming over me, an unstoppable force, and holding me tightly in its suffocating grasp.

Time is standing still for me, frozen in a horrible split second. Everything is gone except for this one endless blink of an eye that is filled with my frantic heart-beat resounding in my ears,

That is filled with Fear.

A bottomless, undefinable Fear. I start screaming, struggling, thrashing around wildly, trying to get out of its terrible grasp. But it pays no mind to my efforts, it does whatever it wants to with me - and I am bound to endure through those attacks.

Afterwards, it gradually lowers to an acceptable volume, although it is still present. Perhaps the Fear enjoys seeing me suffer, enjoys admiring its dirty handy-work. I can feel that it is watching how my pulse is racing, how I am panting, how wet tears are trailing down my cheeks. How I am unable to control myself anymore. My emotions are running wild, and I am suffocating within their avalanche.

torn, dirty, used, soiled, robbed, raped

When I am finally able to free myself, the Fear is gloating and retreats into its cave like a sated predator - only to gather strength for hunting anew sometime in the future.

I barely dare to talk because I am afraid that the Fear would be woken from its light sleep. But usually, I am not in the real world anyways. Most of the time, I live within my own mind-world, where I can play, where I can control everything.

Where everything is controlled by the Fear.

Sometimes, I try running away, but the Fear always catches up to me. It takes pleasure from hunting me and draws it out as long as possible. In the end, it always tackles me from behind, and the punishment afterwards is unbearable. An endless moment together with the Fear.

Sometimes, I try fighting it, but

The Fear is always stronger.

When the Fear has wiped out all my defenses, it is constricting my throat and sitting on my chest. I struggle vainly as I can't breathe anymore, and very often, I loose consciousness. One time, I would have almost died from lack of oxygen. Since then, I have been even more afraid of the Fear.

I admire those heroes from the books, the heroes who face their greatest fear, who overcome it and thus become invincible. I always tell myself to be as strong and brave as them, but when I face the Fear the next time, I forget everything. There is only it and me, alone in the eternity of a moment, and I am completely at its mercy.

Today, there is something different. I don't feel safe anymore in my mind-world. I have never felt safe in it, but today, it is even worse. Frantically, I start looking around. Finally, I have found the cause of my troubles. A stranger in my little world.

I beg him to go because he could wake up the Fear, but he denies me my wish. Gently, he puts his hand on my shoulder and makes me face him although I don't want to. He says he was here to help me. He says he was able to do that. Drawing together all of my courage, I stare into his soft, brown eyes for a long time.

And suddenly, I KNOW.

I know that he can help me, I know that I can trust him, and I know that he is a possibility to escape from this living hell.

Eagerly, I accept his help and implement his instructions. Together, we build a wall. A thick, strong wall. A wall which is so high that nobody can overcome it. A wall which is so hard that nothing can penetrate it. A wall that surrounds us, that is a safe haven for us.

As soon as it is done, we relax from our arduous task and retreat behind our wall. We rest in this haven and wait for the Fear.

I am nervous.

What if the wall isn't strong enough? What if the Fear is stronger? What if he has lured me into a trap?

But he cares for me and is by my side immediately. He ensures me that the wall will hold. And that he is going to protect me from the Fear.

Then I can feel how it is creeping up to us. The Fear is tiptoeing closer on soft, velvet paws, checking the new defenses I have erected with the help of the stranger for any holes.

The Fear is irritated by the wall. It is starting to pound on the wall, it is sharpening its claws on the stone and throwing its body against it. The whole world is shaking, I am terribly afraid, but the wall is sturdy and it holds steadily. The Fear is raging and ranting for a long time, trying to destroy the obstacle. Finally, it gives up and sinks to the floor exhaustedly.

We dare to come out behind our wall, always watching for any signs of attack. The stranger tells me to approach the hideous beast. Very carefully, I set one foot in front of the other. Then I am so close that I can smell the stench of the Fear.

And then I SEE.

I can see what this Fear is. I can see what it is made of.

This is not my Fear.

This is the fear of other people, the fear of countless frightened minds around me. Shocked, I draw back. I throw a glance to the stranger. He nods knowingly.

He asks me if I want to follow him.

Where?

Outside. Into the real world.

I shrink back. He doesn't push me. He just lets me See through his eyes.

I can see myself. Beautiful, self-confident - trapped. Trapped in my own mind. Then I can see others. Some are free, some are trapped like I am. All of them have the gift to pick up thoughts and feelings of other people. Some of them don't know they can. Just like I didn't know. But many are working on training their gift and freeing other prisoners.

Then I can see with my own eyes again. It does not take long for me to come to a decision. Smiling, I take his extended hand and follow him towards a bright light filled with joy and hope for a new life.

A/N: So how did you like it? It is a one-shot, so don't expect any other chapters.

Special thanks to Kegger007, he/she? Is the one who gave me the idea of translating my work.

And thanks to Greeneyes, I have started a mailing list. If you want me to tell you when I have a new chapter out, just leave your e-mail address in your review (or mail me directly).