Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Into The Void ❯ Rubio's Depression ( Chapter 30 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Into the Void
Episode 30: Rubio's Depression
By: Melissa Norvell/Revamp
The next day, the silver-haired man couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of depression hang onto his form like a flesh-eating disease. It chipped away at his happiness, and destroyed all semblence of anything good that he thought he could feel. Solemnly, he sat at a table, not speaking a work to anyone about the events that had occurred. In all honesty, he hoped that no one would ask him about it.
Yaritza was in an equally depressed mood from the loss of her brother. Solemn eyes stared down at the wood grain of the table as she sighed. The once spunk girl remembered the last moments of her brother's life, kissing Udo and proclaiming his love to him as he bled out on the cold floors of Ibuki's establishment.
Her eyes screwed shut, keeping her tears at bay.
'Why did he have to die?'
Red eyes shifted to his hands as Valentino sat, wordlessly. Udo was silent as well. There was nothing either of them could say that would have helped the situation at all. Valentino especially knew that there was nothing he could say. He had slain one of his team mates with his own hands, and for that, he would always live with the guilt of her death on him.
Sari walked into the room to see all of her friends moping around. In truth, she just wanted to forget about everything that had happened and seeing them in a derelict state only brought down her mood even more. "Damn, it's depressing in here."
"Oh, I know," Vincent sighed. He didn't like it, either but he couldn't blame them. They all went through a lot and people died. They needed time to mourn.
Suddenly, a smile crossed the girl's face and she pulled the bounty hunter to the side. "Come here."
"Warg!" Vincent yelled as he was drug out of the room and around the corner. "Ouch, can you be more gentle, please?" He just got finished fighting in a hard battle. He had his fair share of pains, bruises and wounds.
"I have an idea," Sari grinned.
Vincent was unamused. "That's what you wanted to tell me?"
He was popped upside the head by the spunky girl.
"Ow!" He shouted, holding the afflicted area.
"Since everyone's feeling so down, let's make them happier," she pointed a finger into the air matter-of-factly. It was the perfect plan.
"Dude, someone just died. It takes people time to get over that. You should know that, Sari." She did lose her whole family when they found her. Vincent thought that she would just let everyone grieve. That's what they were entitled to right now.
"I know, I do know that, okay? It's just so depressing lately and you're a funny guy so I thought you could help me." It really was a harmless plan. Sari knew they would always be grieving, but sitting around and moping wasn't going to help them in any way. They should try to get their minds off of it. That's what kept her going strong this whole time.
"I'll help you!" Bosnia called out happily from behind them, making them both jump and scream in shock.
"Don't do that to us!" They both turned around and yelled in unison.
Bosnia sweat a little and smiled nervously. "Oh, sorry."
"What do you want us to do?" Vincent knew if he refused things would be a lot more difficult on him. It was always better to follow Sari's plans.
"You guys like jokes, don't you?"
"My specialty!" Vincent grinned. He thought he knew where this was going.
"Of course we do!" Bosnia beamed with excitement.
"Then help me play a few pranks," Sari knew that was just what they needed to lighten their spirits. It was going to be fun, and by the time she was done she would have them rolling with laughter. She just knew it.
Rubio walked over to Valentino after he was done sulking to himself. He figured that the dark-haired male needed someone right now, especially after the ghastly events that unfolded before them.
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"I killed..." Valentino started, but paused as the flashbacks reeled through his head. His hand driven straight through the blue, feathered woman who had once treated them so kindly. "I killed Ryouzonia with my bare hands. I can never atone for this sin."
No matter what he did, he couldn't bring her back to life.
Wrapping his arms around the red and black clad male, Rubio put his face in the tufts of black hair and offered him sympathy. "Valentino, I don't want you to suffer anymore." This was painful for Rubio to watch. He didn't like seeing everyone so sad, especially the assassin.
"Strange, since you only wanted to see me suffer when we first met," Valentino was shocked to an extent to hear him say such things. Rubio hated him for the longest time, and just because things had changed between them recently, there was no reason to let him have it easy.
Rubio pulled away, staring down on the seated man. "That's because I was hurting. I'm an ass for that; you loved me all along, didn't you?" He felt stupid for not realizing it. All of that time, the assassin felt something for him. It was there, when he thought about it. All of the hints pointed at that, but he was too blind to see.
"No, at first I was very jealous of you. You had the love of a companion, something that I had lost many times. There you were, shoving it in my face as the two of you participated in intimate acts in front of me. So, I killed her, as I was assigned to do. Ibuki knew what was going on and wanted you killed as well. He never directly stated it, but I got the hint. I killed Angora and not you because it would be too convenient to have you die with her. Keeping you alive would be far more damaging to you." Valentino didn't want Rubio to have the satisfaction of seeing his lover in the afterlife. If she was going to die, it was going to be cold and alone, the same way he felt. By doing that, he could keep Rubio suffering in loneliness, which would also cause him to feel the same way that Valentino had felt all of that time.
Rubio's face contorted in anger. He couldn't believe that the assassin planned to do such an awful thing and make him suffer like he had. It was all Valentino's fault that he was depressed and, all Valentino's fault that he lost the love of his life, just because he was jealous of their relationship? That was so messed up!
"I can't hide the truth, especially now. I feel so guilty that you went to Carbunkle-" Before he could even finish what he was saying, a fist connected with the side of his face, causing him to be knocked out of his seat onto the ground.
Rubbing the side of his face, he sighed. "I deserved that."
"You selfish jerk. You were never as noble as they made you out to be," Rubio spat those words. Valentino was just a low-down, jealous, slime ball. He was no better than any of the other assassins Ibuki had.
"I was noble?" Valentino had no idea that he was even referred to as anything like that.
"They all listened to you," Rubio referred to all of their team mates. No matter what he said, everyone would ignore him, or tell him that he was being ignorant. But, when Valentino spoke, they all jumped to his commands. It was sickening.
"That's because they doubled your sanity," Valentino commented.
That only made Rubio more irritated.
"You deserve everything you got," the silver-haired man sneered.
"You too," Valentino said as he rose to his feet. He felt the contact of a hand on the side of his face before he was pulled into a gentle kiss. The assassin returned the gesture and pulled back after a few moments.
"We're both jerks," Rubio settled on that answer as he spoke. His lips brushed against those of the man he loved so much.
"Yes, we are but I don't mind." In a way, they deserved each other in that aspect.
"Me either, I don't care about Angora anymore. Like I said before, you're a better lover than Angora could ever be. So, cheer up." Taking his arms away from the dark-haired man's neck, Rubio walked off into the next room.
The short-haired girl pressed her ear to the door as he heard Rubio approaching. Bosnia whispered loudly, trying to signal the others to finish their tasks. "Hurry! He's coming!"
Vincent struggled to put a wooden bucket above the door. "I'm trying!" Just then, his hand slipped a little, causing the water to slosh a little and nearly spill on him. Before it could fall too much, he caught it in the nick of time and properly sat it up. The door knob turned and he and Bosnia ran into the next room as the door opened and the bucket fell, drenching Rubio as he walked through it.
The silver-haired man looked annoyed as he stood there, dripping wet. The bucket sat on his head sideways and blue eyes glanced to the ground at the large puddle of water beneath him. He was soaked to the bone, and his clothes clung to him.
"Okay," Rubio glared into the next room. "Who did it?"
He was going to murder whoever it was.
"Surprise!" Vincent and Sari exclaimed as they jumped in the doorway with bright, shining faces.
"That was hilarious, wasn't it?" Sari surely thought Rubio would have found it funny. They really got him good. He should have seen how much water was dumped on his head!
"Great," Rubio grumbled in disgust. "Now I have to change my clothes." He said the last part in monotone and just walked off; the bucket was still on his head as he disappeared into his room, leaving Sari and Vincent to look at each other in confusion.
Walking past the doorway, Valentino caught glimpse of him as he walked by and stuck his head through to question him, but Rubio cut him off.
"Don't ask," Rubio put his hand up, ceasing all further questions as he disappeared off into the hall.
"We super suck," Vincent sighed. That didn't even make Rubio smile, much less laugh. How did Sari think this was supposed to be hilarious again?
"Well, that didn't work," Sari scratched her head. Well, Rubio didn't have the best sense of humor. Maybe they needed to prank someone else.
"Let's try something else," Bosnia suggested. There had to be something that would make everyone laugh and have fun.
"Like what?" Sari wondered if the girl had a plan of her own.
"I have an idea," luckily enough, she did.
Sair looked a little unsure as she stared at the tiny space before her. They had taken all of the food out of the cabinet, leaving it empty and now they had to all climb inside for a good scare. No one would suspect them being in there, but it didn't look all that fun . "Are you sure this is going to work?"
"It'll be funny! He'll laugh," Bosnia was sure that Valentino would get a kick out of them being in the cabinet. It was unexpected.
"I don't know," Vincent held a finger to his chin and arched an eyebrow as Bosnia climbed up into the cabinet and hid.
"He'll come over here, looking for some food and then I'll scare him," Bosnia explained the intricacy of her plan. Then, she heard footsteps approaching. It sounded like the assassin's. "Here he comes! Hurry! Hide!"
Quickly, she pulled Sari up into the cabinet. "Hey! Watch it!" the girl protested as she was drub into the tiny space.
Vincent could hear the footsteps getting louder and louder. His eyes darted around the room wildly, but he couldn't find anywhere to hide. His heart raced. There was nowhere to hide. They were going to get caught if he didn't think of somewhere to hide.
Just then, feminine hands reached down and grabbed his shoulders, shoving him into the tiny space with them. "Warg!" He screamed as the doors closed.
Inside of the space, Vincent had his foot on Sari's breast, and his hands above him. It was really cramped in there. Sari looked down at his foot, and anger instantly marred her face.
"I will punch you in the face!" She threatened.
"Sorry! I can't help it." It wasn't like there was another place to move his appendage, as much as he didn't want it missing, Sari would have to deal with it until they got out.
Bosnia's head was under his bulky arm. She could barely move it and she felt pressure on the top of her head from the weight of his limb. "You're squishing my head!"
"I can't move. It's too small for all three of us to fit in here." Could they even get out now that they were packed in there like sardines?
Valentino slowly opened the doors to see all of them stuffed in the cabinet. He stared at them, and decided not to even ask. He heard Sari growl and Vincent apologize; followed by Bosnia saying she couldn't breathe. Then, they all fell out of the cabinets tumbling out into a crumpled head at his feet.
"Ow..." Vincent groaned as she lay on the floor. He didn't even want to move.
"Did we scare you?" Sari questioned weakly from her position on her back.
"What are you doing in there?" It wasn't even about wanting to ask at this point, Valentino really was just that curious. What even possessed them to want to hide in the cabinets?
"Hey! You're not Rubio!" Damn it, Sari had the wrong guy.
"We were trying to make him laugh," Vincent said, sitting on the ground.
"He was depressed earlier and we wanted to make him feel better," Bosnia thought for sure the jump scare would work. Too bad it was the wrong person.
"But, we super suck again," Vincent sighed. They really should have just quit while they were ahead. They weren't accomplishing anything.
"Everyone taking things badly, sometimes, people just need to grieve." There was no use in speeding up their happiness. Valentino knew that they meant well, but nothing would come from things if Sari, Bosnia and Vincent forced them all to be happy far before they even wanted to.
"Oh yeah, what's your excuse, Mr. Silent?" Sari pouted, placing her hands on her hips as she sat on the ground with her knees up and stuck out her bottom lip.
"What?" Valentino wasn't sure of what she was asking.
"You ran off to see Carbunkle," What excuse did he have for that?
Turning his back to everyone, he hung his head in shame. "I murdered Ryouzonia," and that was nothing minor. It wasn't even an excuse. Valentino just wanted to die.
"You can't keep blaming yourself for that. It wasn't your fault." Sure, it looked like Valentino just did it out of nowhere, but he wasn't in control of himself. He was being manipulated. There was nothing he could do about not being in control of himself. Vincent would never fault him for that.
"I shouldn't have interfered." It was his fault. If he would have kept on the sidelines, then her death could have been avoided.
"If she died in battle you would have been saying that you should have fought." Either way, to Sari it was a double-edged sword and either way he would have blamed himself.
"Even though it might have been one of us that you killed," Vincent brought up that point as well.
"A lot of people died because of me." It wasn't even because he was an assassin; it was because he was there. Valentino felt like an eternal black cloud that screwed up everyone's otherwise blue sky.
"You know, taking everything on your shoulders is selfish. Stop trying to take it all on yourself. It's just like Vincent said, how do you know it wouldn't happen anyway?" Sari didn't know how the battle would have turned out. No one did. It was unfair to base any kind of judgment on what might have been, or to say if he hadn't had involvement that everyone would have been fine.
"I don't," Valentino couldn't argue with her logic.
"See? I'm pretty sure Ibuki was even doing this while you worked for him," Sari couldn't see it happening any other way. Ibuki was a cheap, little snake.
"You guys should rest and stop playing pranks on people," Valentino knew that it was only going to end up hurting someone's feelings worse than they had been before.
"Okay..." Bosnia didn't want to stop, but he was right.
"They weren't working anyway," Vincent rose up from the ground and took a few steps, but not before he was stopped.
"Where are you going?" Sari asked in irritation.
"To spend time with my beautiful Agata," the bounty hunter smiled. Seeing the white-haired woman always made him smile, and it was better than being stuffed in a small, tight space by those two mischievous girls. He was really glad that Agata was more sophisticated and mature than the two of them.
"You jerk," Sari growled.
Bosnia shook her head.
"Hopeless…" Sari continued her onslaught of insults.
"I'll return these to Rubio," Valentino took two swords from the counter top and began to exit the room.
"I'll go and keep an eye on Vincent," Bosnia didn't want him to get beat up too bad by the sergeant.
"I'll go and think to myself. I was just told some bad news that I'd rather forget," Sari sighed to herself. Even if she was playing pranks, it was better than being left to her own thoughts, but now she had no choice.
"About what?" Valentino wondered what she meant.
"My parents...They're...dead...Captain Aeris told me they were executed," Yartiza wasn't the only one who lost family, she did as well.
"Are you going to leave the group?" Valentino turned to her. "After all, the whole reason you stayed here was so that you could find the whereabouts of your family. Now that you know, you have closure and you have no reason to stay here any longer."
It was true. Her original intentions were to only be in the group until she found out if her parents were dead or alive. Now that she found out, she could have very well just gone back. But, what would she even go back to? There was nothing to go back to. There was nothing happy about going back to a dead village of people and living alone. That was depressing.
Determination crossed her face, and a stern frown was planted on her lips. "Oh yes there is. I want to see those bastards burn in hell for what they've done. I don't want this to happen to anyone else." Anger consumed her heart and emotion filled her eyes as she turned from him. Tears flowed down her face as she was reminded of the sorrow and pain she felt, of everything that Ibuki had ripped away from her. "As long as I can save someone, then it'll be enough closure for me."
Valentino paused for a moment, saying nothing as he left the room and walked back into Rubio's room with the swords in his arms. He saw Rubio standing, looking at himself in the mirror and held out the blades to him. Rubio turned and glanced at the weapons.
"Here," Valentino spoke, "Bosnia, Vincent and Sari had them."
"Why did they have them?" Rubio asked. He was pretty confused as to why anyone would even want his swords.
"They were trying to play pranks on people." Who knew why they were there? Valentino just knew that they were probably going to eventually involve them in some sort of prank of some kind. Luckily enough, he stopped them from doing anything stupid.
"I'm not in the mood for their games," Rubio already had to change clothes because of them, and now he was freezing cold. He didn't want to contend with them at all today.
"That's why I explained to them that now isn't a good time. They were just trying to brighten the mood, especially Sari. She's taking the loss of her parents pretty hard," Valentino knew why they were doing it, but they were causing more damage than they were trying to fix.
"Ryouzonia, Hokuto, and now Sari's parents..." Rubio looked down as he felt a surge of anger boil in his veins. He clenched his fists as his body shook from the cold and from the uncontrollable rage he felt deep inside himself. Suddenly, his fist slammed into the wall, causing it to dent under the blow. "Damn it! We've got to stop them."
Rubio didn't know how much more loss or suffering he could take.
"That's why we're going straight to Ibuki. We're going to infiltrate his base and attack him directly. It's now or never and the longer we wait, the more lives are lost," Valentino knew how the man operated. If they wanted to save the maximum number of people, they had to act right away.
"And, the more people end up experiments," Rubio brought up something very close to both of their hearts. The red-eyes assassin looked down. He knew it was the truth. Rubio wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's chest.
"You know, I was thinking about something," Rubio decided to change the subject to something a little less dismal.
"I'd like to make love to you in a coffin," the silver-haired man admitted. When he thought about it, doing something like that with him was morbidly romantic.
"Why would you say that?" Valentino was curious as to what brought that on.
"I know you just came out of a casket, but seeing you in one gave me a rush. I felt gravitated towards you." Rubio's hands roamed over the black-haired assassin's chest, feeling the crevices of every muscle. "I want to make a coffin of memories for you," the words dripped like honey from his lips, sweet and sultry.
"I would like to have feelings other than eternal guilt." It sounded nice to Valentino. Wrapping his arms around the silver-haired assassin, he pulled him closer. "With you, I think that may be possible."
Rubio smiled ironically to himself. "I can't believe that our relationship turned into this."
Closing his eyes, Valentino tilted his head up. "Rubio, even if I feel guilty about it, I do have feelings towards you. I just hope that you can accept this monster's affections."
"I've never been one to love normal things," Rubio commented, placing his hand on the side of Valentino's face, feeling the smooth skin of his cheek below his fingertips. "Even Angora was a vessel to give birth to experimental children."
Red eyes popped open. "What?"
"To keep Ibuki happy and for her love of science, she bore four test subjects for him. There are things about me that have been altered as well. My hair and eye color, even my chemical make-up has been changed to fit the terrorists' needs. You may feel like a monster, but I feel like one, too. I don't even look the same way I used to anymore. I might act like I'm gung-ho about this but I worry, too." Leaning up, Rubio planted a small kiss on his lips.
Valentino kissed him back for a moment, then pulled away. "You're hardly a monster to me."
"I shouldn't be with you," Rubio knew how he felt, and more than anything, he wanted Valentino to know that he wasn't alone. He was right there with him, and he would chide his negative feelings.
"I could say the same. I was supposed to kill you." However, he was glad that he didn't.
"Kind of how I was supposed to be straight?" Rubio couldn't help but laugh a little.
"I was as well. This isn't about looks, either," Valentino wanted to make that clear. He loved Rubio for more than just being a pretty face. "Not that you aren't handsome or anything."
"When I look at another guy, I don't even think what I do about you. I can't keep myself from touching you, even when I'm trying to hide it." It was ridiculous and sickening how much Rubio was fascinated with this guy.
"I love you, Rubio."
The skin on Rubio's cheeks reddened, "Valentino..."
"Fill this coffin with good memories," the red-eyed man said as he tossed his cape to the ground.
"I'll make memories that you'll never forget," Rubio paused, "on one condition."
"Let me have sex with the monster in you." Those words made Valentino's body lock up in anxiety. Was he being serious? Did he really want to make love to his grotesque alternate form? The one that killed Ryouzonia?
"What?" Valentino asked in a whisper. "He'll kill you-"
Before he could say anything more, a finger was put to his lips to chide him. The contact caused him to blush.
"I want to love the side of you that cannot love. Plus, if I get that side of you to trust me, then you can get better control over it so you don't kill anyone. We have to get that under control and doing it that way is best. If he's a part of you, then he loves me as well. You share the same brain and heart." It was going to be a training exercise. It would be to prove their trust that their bond had, not only that, it would teach Valentino how to show restraint. To Rubio, this was a way that would keep Valentino from making the same mistake that he did with Ryouzonia in the future.
"We do, but he can access more of my brain than I can."
"Then it would be even better to gain his trust. I was assigned to take abuse and put through many hard tests to prove myself. I'm willing to go through this test. If it works, it will be rewarding for us both." Rubio seriously hoped that Valentino would consider his offer. So far, the other assassin just stood there, looking as if he was immersed in deep thought.
"Don't worry," Rubio chided him. More than anything, he wanted his boyfriend to consider it. He knew that he could handle whatever Valentino's other side had to offer, he just needed the other male to trust in his abilities to handle him.
Digging two syringes from his pocket, Valentino stared at the needles. "I took these from the laboratory in case I went wild again. The blue substance balances the chemicals in my body to subside the transformation. You should be familiar with these." Handing the two needles to his boyfriend, he let the other male examine them. "Let's go to a place where we won't be noticed."
They couldn't do it in the house with everyone. Not only would they make far too much noise, they would be putting the others in danger with Valentino's transformed state. The red-eyed assassin didn't want to be responsible for any damage done, or any of the lives that might be lost as a result.
Rubio nodded. He knew what needed to be done. "If I get hurt, then let's say you lost control of your transformation," He hated to pin the blame on him, but there was no other excuse that worked.
"It wouldn't be far from the truth. Hope you're not too hurt if you get taken advantage of." Valentino wasn't making any promises to be gentle on the other male.
A small smile ran across the other's face. "This will be interesting. I wouldn't mind playing submissive to something that could kill me." He was a bit nervous, but Rubio knew that's how it would be with this man. He wanted to prove that he could handle him, no matter what the form. 'I just hope this doesn't end badly. We're both too depressed to take another round of bad luck.'
"By the way," Valentino glanced to him.
"Yeah?" Rubio looked to his mate in question.
"I'd love to make love to you in a casket. Too bad my soul was on the line. I would have let you do it in Carbunkle's forest." Actually, there was really nothing stopping Rubio from doing it after he won the fight. Then again, Valentino was pretty sure that was the last thought in his mind.
Rubio blushed and closed his eyes. "Well, you got me there."
...To Be Continued