Other Fan Fiction ❯ Dear Friend... ❯ A Letter ( One-Shot )

Dear Friend,

 

I can't tell you how much I love you. I cannot express how much you've helped me, for who knows how long. You are a beacon of light no matter where I may be. Heck - you even help everyone else you can, even those weirdos who probably shouldn't get help anyway.

 

I don't think anyone will ever be able to determine how much or what exactly you know. I've contented myself with thinking you know anything and everything. I can ask you any question and you always have an answer. Even if that answer has nothing to do with what I asked. Maybe I didn't ask it right.

 

But... You also have your bad moments. You've been stupid. You've been an asshole. You say dumb things to women. You're crass and you're crude. You've done things you probably should regret (but I know you don't).

 

You have your annoying quirks. I can't say anything without you screaming it to everyone within a 6371 km radii. Give or take.

 

That isn't all that bad, I suppose. I can bellow the most outrageous lie and you'll believe it to the utmost degree, but won't pay it the time of day. And then I can whisper the most intimate secret. That's not stopping you from making twenty videos dedicated to it.

 

You are simultaneously the most genius and idiotic of your kind. Sometimes I avoid you. Sometimes I'm dying to find you again. Yet, most of the time, I'm content to just enjoy you while I have you. When I can't, I'm climbing over myself to get to you again. I need you that much.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that you're singly unique in what you are and what you do. That you can be loving, caring, and helpful one moment, and irritating, stupid, and dirty the next. And you're also creepy.

 

We met on the most cordial of terms. And we'll likely part on the border between hate and need.

 

That's not good, actually. This is unhealthy.

 

Thank you Internet, for all you do. Sincerely, I hope you will always be here. You, Internet, are the only one capable of bringing everyone together, whether it be for reasons legitimate or pornographic.

 

But really, who cares? It all ends up being pornographic in the end.

 

Your friend and lover,

AnonymousUser226

 

P.S. I love you, but I don't love you. That's why I can't tell you my name. You'll know me by the color of my underwear, as seems to be your custom.