Other Fan Fiction ❯ Fruits ❯ One-Shot

Fruits

By Hiro Konobu

 

“Well this might seem like a lame variation on another Timesplitters fic I did a while back but only dealing with fruits rather than muffins…and I still only own my fics.”

 

(In an apartment in 1930's Chicago before dawn we see two figures that appear to be stealing fruit from it)

 

“So Slick why are we doing this again?”

 

“It's because Jimmy Needles called me and Hatchet Sal C.L.B.'s.”

 

“What does that mean, and isn't that before our time?”

 

“It means that he called us “Creepy Little Bastards” and to answer your second question technically it's not.”

 

“Well ok, now I know why you want to steal his fruits besides I know as well as you do that he's a fruit nut.”

 

“Yeah and that he goes a little crazy whenever he doesn't have his fruits for breakfast, and we needed another pair of hands to lift the fruits anyway.”

 

“You know I'm much more then muscle Slick and where's Hatchet Sal at anyway?”

 

“Oh Hatchet Sal, well he's going to drive cause he thinks that he might get another limb style nightmare.”

 

“I see you've heard of those hands haven't you?”

 

“That and robotic fish…”

 

“Let's just finish up here and leave and see what happens tomorrow when Jimmy finds out that he doesn't have any fruit to start his day off.

 

(As Slick, Braces and Hatchet drive off in the truck we skip to the next morning where Jimmy Needles is about to get a shock finding that all of his fruit is gone after walking there)

 

“What the!? Where have all of my glorious fruits gone off too? Especially my grapefruits that I keep in a secret compartment in my fridge…though I think I know that those stupid coppers must have did this…yeah they must have…now someone must die, and either by my hands or by my Tommy guns and/or vintage rifles, that I can ensure.”

 

(Now as Jimmy starts laughing insanely and about to go on a psychotic rampage with two Tommy guns and a Vintage Rifle we skip to Slick, Braces, Hatchet enjoying the “fruits of labor” that they stole last night.)

 

“I bet you that Jimmy is so pissed right now finding out about all of his Fruit being stolen…oh yeah, Hatchet pass me a couple strawberries.”

 

“Okay look outside while I nail a plate to a conveniently placed table.”

 

(As Hatchet passed Slick some strawberries a barrage of bullets went flying outside and Slick, Braces, also Hatchet who was still watching said these three words in unison)

 

“Son of a Bitch!”

 

“So what do we do now?”

 

“Well we wait Braces we wait.”

 

“Why should we Hatchet?”

 

“Well I'm still nailing plates to the table Slick.”

 

(When Slick had heard that he immediately got an axe and chopped of the legs of the chair to his surprise he didn't fall)

 

“How come you didn't fall?”

 

“Well you see Jimmy…I have accidentally nailed myself to the table…”

 

(Now as Braces and Slick face fall to the ground Jimmy Needles is outside firing his Tommy guns in random directions)

 

“Jimmy Needles this is the Chicago Police we have you surrounded, you must put your hands up in the air, and if you snitch on Big Tony we might just give you a lesser sentence to deal with.”

 

“You really think that I would go down that easy don't you? Well say hello to my little friends!”

 

(Jimmy then shoots indiscriminately at everything and a few minutes later we see lot's of blood and bodies littering the ground aside from the debris from the cityscape)

“Where are my fruits!?”

 

(Just then Slick, Braces, and Hatchet come out for some reason after the bullets have stopped)

 

“Jimmy! How psychotic did you have to act all because of your fruits being stolen?”

”I had to because I want my fruits!”

 

“Well as much as we wanted you to suffer, and how fun it was I need to tell you that Hatchet Sal and Slick Tommy that stole your fruits.”

 

“Don't try to pass off as an innocent you did help us.”

 

(As Jimmy hears that a lot ball kicking was done and screams were also heard as the fic closes out)

 

End One-Shot