Outlaw Star Fan Fiction ❯ Stupid to Love Him ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Stupid to Love Him- An Outlaw Star fanfiction-by masamune

Disclaimer: YAOI. In layman's terms, gay love. If you don't like that
kind of thing, fine, just don't go and tell your parents on me. I
don't own Outlaw Star or any of the characters. This is my first
Outlaw Star fic so don't be too hard on me ne?

I really must be a fool.

Sure, I'm rich and live a life of luxury, but I'm constantly plagued
by a problem. I am a good businessman, I try to be good-natured in
negotiations, but no negotiation can help me now.

Me, Fred Lowe. Rich, powerful, handsome, with enough money and
bodyguards to solve anything... But I can't solve this problem.

I'm in love.

Sure, it's a beautiful thing right? Being in love's great right? Would
there be so many movies about it if it weren't?

Being in love with a person that doesn't love you back is the most
painful thing in the world. Lately I've found myself drinking away my
sorrow at the local pubs, trying to drown away the picture, the
thought of Gene Starwind. It never works but that's probably what I'll
be doing after I leave the office tonight.

Gene Starwind... I sigh just thinking about him. He's everything
anyone could ever want in a man. Funny, good looking, strong,
adventurous... I think I'm wasting my breath trying to list all of the
qualities that make him so wonderful.

...I must be stupid to be in love with him. Everytime I see him I make
it so obvious. He knows, knows I won't ever give up on him. If I had
half a brain I would...

It's killing me slowly. Everyday I wake up after having dreams about
him and look at myself in the mirror. I can't help but think, "Look at
me, I'm miserable. Gene doesn't want me, so what am I worth at all?"
Depression seeps in and I can't stop it. It hurts me when I catch
snippets of conversation about me, when I see Gene and Jim give each
other little sidelong glances, I know I'm the butt of jokes between
them.

And it eats away at me. Each day I feel worse and each day I'm more
and more in love with Gene Starwind.

I am stupid. I know it hurts me but I love him still. What does that
say about my intelligence ne?

I could sit and complain all day, but it won't do any good. There's
work to be done. I have to talk to Gene later about some weapon parts
for his ship... I'm both dreading and yearning for that time to come.

I hate to have to look into his eyes. I love him so much.

I must be stupid.

~owari

Note: Okay... before you all go jumping down my throats let me
explain. I just did this little angst ficcy here as my first
experiment with Outlaw Star fanfiction. I know it's probably pretty
poor but every hallway has its first step. Hopefully I'll start
producing some good stuff in the near future...

Send feedback to [1]MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com

References

1. mailto:MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com