Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ A Midsummer Night's Scheme ❯ The Boot ( Chapter 1 )

A Midsummer Night's Scheme:

A Comedy in Five Acts

By Al Kristopher

Act I

"The Boot"

"Busted". The word meant so many things to so many people. To the diabolical duo of narcissists, Jessie and James, being Busted meant that their esteemed boss had quickly learned of their failures (most likely from that traitorous Meowth) and was just a little too eager to tell them about it in no kind terms. They had been--what was the word again?--"busted" several times before, usually sometime after returning to home base empty-handed, but the feeling never lost its sting.

However, that last mission they had been sent on felt like a special failure. Not only had Pikachu evaded their grasp, again, but they had utterly failed to even take note of the Articuno that resided in those frozen lands. They had suffered a special blow that time, and they were both miserably sure that their boss would be most unhappy indeed when he learned of their loss. Giovanni usually was a tough man to please, but Jessie and James were among the worst in the business. Team Rocket, considered Giovanni after much thought, could do better without them. And so, he came to a conclusion.

"You wanted to see us, boss?" asked James. He and his cohort had just recently been summoned into Giovanni's office, wherein their esteemed and fearless leader waited for them with his chair turned around. Giovanni wheeled his seat around as his subordinates came into the room, smoking a cigar and glancing at them carefully. The Persian he kept was nestled snugly in his lap, and he stroked it every so often to soothe his short nerves. For awhile, silence was the only thing that answered James.

"James William Wyatt…" muttered Giovanni, "and Jessica Bonney Earp… Two of Team Rocket's most infamous agents… Please, do not sit down. This meeting will not take long." Both Jessie and James gulped down their worries, and each thought the exact same thing:

I don't like the way the boss said that.

"W-what is it you called us for, boss?" asked Jessie. "What can, as you put it so well, Team Rocket's most infamous agents do for you?"

"You can start by explaining what happened in that last mission of yours."

"Uhh… last… mission, sir?" said James carefully.

"The one where you went to the Frozen Lands," reminded Giovanni in an impatient voice. "You know… the one where you almost captured Pikachu and stopped those children?"

"Uh, oh, right! That mission!"

"Yes, that one," hissed Giovanni. "Did the two of you know that there were reports of an Articuno around that area? Hmm? Did the two of you ever consult your Pokemon Guides? Or did you ever consider reading up on the news in that area? Hmm?"

"An Articuno?" mimed Jessie. "But, boss! We… we never heard of such a thing!"

"Which is exactly my point," stated Giovanni, poking at the air with his cigar. "The two of you are the most worthless, imbecilic, moronic, useless, shameful trash that this establishment has ever had the sickening duty of harboring! Mr. Wyatt, Ms. Earp, I find that your lack of wisdom in the Articuno mission is just a small sample of how utterly incompetent the two of you are!!"

"But sir!" they protested. Giovanni's growl was enough to shut them both up.

"Silence!! The fact is that the two of you have completely failed almost absolutely every single mission that you have ever been sent on! Give me one example of when you succeeded in anything you set out to do!"

A pause. By this time, the duo was pretty much--yup, you guessed it--busted.

"Well, there was this one time when Jessie and I were able to capture a few Pidgeottos…"

"That is pitiful, Mr. Wyatt!!" spat Giovanni suddenly. "Are you saying that you can find success in a task that a three year-old novice Pokemon trainer can accomplish?! That miserable excuse is ground enough for me to expel the both of you from Team Rocket FOREVER!!!!

"Boss, NO!!!" Jessie and James both screamed out in horror, their hair standing out on end as the terrifying thought of being fired from Team Rocket cackled at them. Their bodies both went into horrific shock--their faces turned all kinds of ghastly colors--and they desperately pleaded for another chance.

"Boss, please, give us one last chance!" begged Jessie. "I beg of you! We can accomplish whatever you send us out on, I swear it! Please, we'll make you see that we're not as bad as you say we are!"

"Enough!" he shouted, slamming his fist on his desk so hard that it broke and the Persian screamed away. "As I recall, I have given both of you a hundred of these 'second chances', and each one was completely botched by the both of you! It was only by the influence of your parents that either one of you were able to stay on as long as you did, but no more!"

"Boss, please!!" wailed James, who was literally on his knees by this point. "Please, don't take us away from Team Rocket! I swear that we will rise above your every expectation in the next--"

"There will BE no next time!!!" roared Giovanni in a deadly rage. "I am sick and tired of wasting company money on hiring you buffoons to fail!! I have had enough of you, both of you! Therefore, I come to the conclusion that the of you and your service to Team Rocket shall be terminated!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!"

"Boss, please! Don't kill us! Please, I beg of you!"

"SILENCE!!!" screamed the boss, sending Jessie and James scampering like mice. He calmed down, just a little, and resumed speaking to them in a more suitable manner. "I will not be called a killer of men, no matter how much of a reject the two of you are! As tempted as I am to slay you both, I will extend whatever mercy I have left within me and exile you from Team Rocket, once and for all, forever more."

"Boss, you can't mean--" stuttered Jessie.

"Yes, I can!!" he shouted as he stood to his feet. Giovanni pointed his finger at them, and bellowed out in his loudest voice, "James Wyatt, Jessica Earp… YOU'RE FIRED!!!"

"No…" Both Jessie and James whimpered in utter weakness as the horrible news was hammered into their foreheads. They could both feel their souls being sucked out of their body and sent down a drain, and the whole world became dark and morbid as they lost all ties and connections to Rocket. They gazed ahead emptily, their eyes glassed over in fear and amazement, and neither one moved very much.

"Now I want both of you out of my office and out of my sight immediately!" huffed Giovanni as he sat back down. "I shall have Colt and Derringer confiscate your uniforms and return your civilian garb to you. I expect you to clean out your lockers and remove your possessions from the building within the hour. Your Pokemon you may keep, however, as compensation for whatever work you might have done. Do you understand?"

Silence.

"Fired…" muttered James. "You really… fired us…"

"No more Team Rocket…" murmured Jessie. "No more… Team Rocket…"

"No more… no more…"

"Are you two paying any attention to me at all?!" growled their boss. Jessie and James were catatonic by that time, and it took a second growl and a Kangaskhan to completely remove them from the office. Quietly, Jessie and James sat on chairs just outside the office, where the large Pokemon had placed them, and continued to stare into oblivion until Colt and Derringer arrived. The two older men glanced at each other as they came upon the stunned duo, and sighed as they realized what happened.

"The boss canned you, eh?"

"Canned…" muttered James. "Gone… poof… No more… no more…"

"We've been fired…" murmured Jessie. "No more… Rocket… Power…"

"Well that's a darn shame," noted Colt as he helped James stand. "A darn shame. Hey, Jimbo, you mind extendin' yer arms out like this? Boss called us to strip you of your uniforms, n' return'em to the main office, so we's aimin' to do our job. Nothin' personal, dude, just business." James quietly performed as he was asked, extending his arms so Colt could remove his uniform. Derringer took off Jessie's Team Rocket Jacket and put it in a box, and then later stuffed in her boots, gloves, earrings, badges, cards, and anything else she was carrying that belonged to the Team. When both older men were finished stripping rank on the duo, all that was left were their Pokeballs, a pair of boxers for both and a white t-shirt.

"Looks like that's all," said Derringer as he saluted his old friends. "Well, this place'll get less interestin' without the two of you around to spice things up, but… what the boss says is what the boss says. Personally, I like you both--"

"And me too," added Colt. Derringer nodded his head.

"…But business is business. You all need help findin' yer locker?"

"No…" murmured Jessie, who was still in a daze. "We'll… manage…"

"You sure?"

"…Yeah…"

"Okay," he shrugged. "Well… I guess… this is goodbye, then." Colt and Derringer took the uniforms and accessories with them as they left, leaving Jessie and James to stand in the middle of Team Rocket headquarters with only their underclothes on. Slowly, like people who had lost their souls, the two former Rocket members trudged over to their lockers, earning a few stares from other employees as they ambled on. They only succeeded in making themselves look even more foolish, what with only the necessities on and a dead look in their eyes, but finally they reached their lockers, and opened them up for the very last time.

Mechanically, they began removing everything they owned from the containers--everything they ever owned, their own entire past, straight from the small metallic storage area. Their whole life piled up in bags, or else on their bodies after they dressed in civilian style. All the time, their faces continued to express nothing but hollow emotions. They were both petrified, stunned at the loss, and were only able to move because of their boss' last order to them: I expect you to clean out your lockers and remove your possessions from the building within the hour. Within the hour--that did not give them much time.

Eventually, though gradually, Jessie and James packed up their entire lives in bags and suitcases, and glanced around the rooms and halls of the Team Rocket base for one last time. They both believed that, no matter how horrible their job performance was, they would never have to say goodbye to those walls, or those rooms, or the people they passed every day. Jessie never thought that she would be unable to hold her head up proudly in those halls; James thought that he would be his own King forever. But now, they both had to leave Team Rocket behind, and they would never be inside its walls ever again.

"James…" James turned to his comrade and looked deep into her indigo eyes, wondering what she wanted to say. Jessie swallowed something down and sighed out her worries. "What do you think will happen to us now?" For awhile, the green-eyed man could give her no answer.

"I don't know… But, we'll manage. We've done well in difficult times before. I think we're going to be all right…… for a little while."

"That's not the truth, and you know it," she said gently. "James… Team Rocket was our entire life! We were practically born into it! Your parents and my parents were a part of it! The boss said so himself! James, what are we going to do, seriously!? It'll be like… like… like us going into foreign territory! Only it'll be for real!"

"…I know," he mumbled. "It's not going to be easy… but, I believe we can do it. I have faith that we can. Come on, let's get Meowth and leave here."

"I'd rather not," snarled Jessie darkly. "I'll bet you a bar of gold that that little cat was more of a rat! Who do you think told the boss of our failures? It sure wasn't you or me, and the other agents couldn't have known!"

"You do have a point," he agreed, nodding his head slowly. "That Meowth is nothing but a nasty little traitor, always taking the glory and bossing us around! Well no more! I hope he's happy with his new associates, because we're out of here! YOU HEAR THAT, TEAM ROCKET??!!" he screamed suddenly, jerking around to shout at the whole building. "YOU CAN'T FIRE US, BECAUSE WE QUIT! WE WERE NEVER APPRECIATED ANYWAY, SO GOODBYE!!!" And with a humph and a snarl, James turned his back on the building and went straight for the door, with Jessie staring at him for awhile.

…And everyone else in the vicinity as well. James had been quite loud, and a little overdramatic, and had drawn attention to himself from every direction. But that was okay, he considered. He was leaving, after all, and there wasn't anything that anybody could do. Jessie, however, didn't know that he had it in him.

"Wait up!" she shouted, and with a proud half-smile on her face, she ran after the only friend she seemed to have left in the world. Team Rocket would never be the same without them.

----------

Giovanni's office was dark once again, filling up with the pleasant aroma of cigar smoke and lack of light from the outside world. Eventually, a pair of blinds let in rays of light, but not enough to bathe the whole room. An orange glow lit the tip of the big boss' cigar; he inhaled and exhaled the smoke slowly as he examined the two new guests in his room. Carefully, using the light he had just poured in, Giovanni looked over their records.

"Marion Jane Burke, alias 'The Death Hunter'. Former assassin for Mikhail Van Stratos, specializing in close-range combat, murder, major theft, arson, et cetera. Confirmed kills, sixty-five; probable kills, forty-eight. Weapon of choice, razor gauntlets. Vicious, merciless, barbaric, sadistic, uncontrollable… I'd say you're good for the job."

"Thank you, Giovanni," said a husky female voice from the shadows. Giovanni smiled and read over the next file.

"Morrison Hickock Glidden, alias 'Overbite'. Freelance assassin, bodyguard, hitman, killer, and so on. Never failed in a mission, always killed his prey, never left any evidence behind. Trademark moves include biting off his victim's fingers, toes, ears, and… any other body part that protrudes out visibly?" Giovanni snorted, and looked over at the shadowed man in disbelief. "'Biting any body part that protrudes out visibly'?"

"Yes, sir," replied the man in a very deep, lion-like voice. "Biting. Oftentimes when they're alive, sir. Does that prove a problem, sir?"

"…No," said Giovanni with a chuckle, "no problem at all. You sound perfect for the job!"

"Thank you, sir." Giovanni smiled again, and closed the blinds once again.

"Marion and Morrison… I don't expect either one of you to fail like your predecessors. In fact, I would stake my very career that the two of you will not only succeed, but you will exceed even my highest expectations. You two are the best mercenaries and assassins that money can buy, so I know you will get the job done. Welcome to Team Rocket."

"Thanks, old man," replied the husky voice of Marion. Giovanni let out a huff and a puff--of smoke, that is.

"You two shall report directly to me from this day forward. You will even be assigned your own Pokemon--your choice, of course." The woman in the dark room laughed darkly, but it sounded more like the gagging of one being hung from the gallows.

"I don't need a Pokemon, old man," she chuckled. "I like to kill on my own, thank you."

"I insist," replied Giovanni, ignoring her insubordinate remark. He had hired these two to replace and exceed Jessie and James, and to perform with perfection, not to address him with respect. The woman, Marion, let out a snort.

"Well, okay. I guess I can deal with a free Pokemon--but get me the fiercest one you have. I don't want anything that's weak."

"Understood," replied the big boss. "And you, Morrison?"

"Just give me an Onyx and I'll be all right, sir," grumbled the man called Morrison. Giovanni agreed to the simple terms, and paged his secretary to locate an Onyx and a Tauros for his new employees.

"Your basic mission will be to capture as many Pokemon as you can," he continued briskly. "You will be given the necessary supplies, plus anything else you require. But first of all, I'd like to see what the two of you are really made of. To test your skills, I'm going to send you both on a mission so dangerous that only our top agents come close to qualifying. This task I have in mind would have certainly destroyed your weak predecessors, but for people such as yourselves, it shouldn't be but an easy job."

"What is it you want us to do, sir?" asked Morrison. Giovanni paused briefly before informing them on their first real job as new members of Team Rocket.

"I want you to find the Legendary Pokemon Master," he said, "and bring him here to me."