Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ How Pokémon Escape Death ❯ 10 Ways for Pokemon to Escappe Death ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Ways for Pokémon to escape Death or otherwise Terrible Fates
(Note: This is an Anti-Anti-Pokémon fic. Even the Bad Grammar is done On Purpose to Demonstrate the Stupidness of Such Stories)

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon. And even if I said I did, I don't have any money, so please just don't sue me. It will save me a lot of time and you a lot of time and money.
Also, I would like to tell everyone who reads this fic and is a Pokémon Hater, this is not meant to insult you. But since Anti-Pokémon fics have been showing up in the Pokémon Section itself, I thought it was about time to return the favour.

Okay, enough with the legal stuff. Let's get on with Ways for Pokémon to Escape Death or Otherwise Terrible Fates.

Basically, this is just a list with what seems to be the best ways for Pokémon haters to kill Pokémon. But in this fic, I've added something special... A way for the Pokémon to escape unharmed!


1: Slice the Pokémon into Pieces using a Very Sharp Knife!

Way to Escape: None! Luckily, they don't have to. Most Pokémon haters have too low an IQ to tell a knife from a spoon.
Quote: "Man! I really have to sharpen this knife! It can't even leave cut marks on this Pikachu!"

2: Get the Pokémon to Swallow Poison of Some Sort!

Way to Escape: Just too Obvious! This is Just Another Way to demonstrate the Stupidity (This is not meant as bad grammar. Pokémon Haters are just Stupid with a capital S) of Pokémon Haters. This is just the sort of Situation the People at Nintendo invented Antidote for.

3: Use them to Battle until They Die!

Way to Escape: Again, None. Pokémon can't Die in Battles, they Just Faint. One of the many Good Things Nintendo has Included in The Game.

4: Put them in The Oven and Watch Them Burn!

Way to Escape: For Fire, Rock and Water types this shouldn't Be a Problem, since They Have Natural Resistance against Fire. For All the Other Types, A Burn Heal will fix Them Up.

5: After they Faint, Just Leave them Behind to Die!

Way to Escape: Simple! Have any of These Pokémon Haters ever Read any Trainer Fanfics? If They have, They Should Know there Are So Many Trainers running Around on Fanfiction.net, It's Simply Impossible To leave A Pokémon Without someone Finding It. (Note: This could be very painful for you too, if the Trainer who found it battles it against you.)

6: Drop an Atomic Bomb on Them!

Way to Escape: Not Necessary. Do YOU Know Anyone in Your Street Who Can Get an Atomic Bomb? And even if they Could, Most Pokémon could use Agility to Escape, or Barrier or Reflect to stop it. And For Those Who Don't, There's a new TM move called Detect. It Cancels the Effect of An Opponent's Attack.
If All else Fails, there are still 2 things they can do. There is an Item called a Focus Belt, that can Keep a Pokémon from Fainting.
Also, If the attack DOES succeed (Which Is Very Unlikely), You'll Have a Mutant Killer Nuclear Pokémon Zombie to worry about!
(P.S. Don't Steal the Idea for the Mutant Killer Nuclear Pokémon Zombies! It's Mine, and Maybe I will Someday write a Fanfic about it.)
Also, Thanks to Mr.Snorlax1986 for the Idea on This

7: Fire the Death Star at Them!

Way to Escape: Hey, I thought this was a Pokémon story, not a Crossover! Oh Well. Enter Ash Skywalker! Use the Force, Ash!
(If Anyone remembers the Movies of Star Wars, the Death Star WAS destroyed.)

8: Slice them with a Chainsaw!

Way to Escape: Did you Really think you could Get that Close? Every Pokémon alive Knows some Sort of Ranged Attack, Frying, Blasting, or Electrocuting you Before you get in Range.

9: Get Mewtwo and Mew to perform Simultanious Attacks on Them!

Way to Escape: None... Again. I really wish Pokémon Haters would Not make this so Easy. Mewtwo and Mew ARE Powerful, but they Can't Kill Pokémon, because They Are Pokémon Themselves. See number Three for the Details.

10: Let them be Squished by Digimon!

Way to Escape: Oh Goody! Another Crossover! But this one Is too Easy! Why on Earth or Any Other Planet would Digimon want to Kill Pokémon? In Fact, there Are some Good Reasons they should Not. Read some of My Stories or those of Seth Turtle named Pokémon/Digimon to Find Out why Not!

A/N: This is everything I came up with for now. If you have any new ideas on how to kill Pokémon, simply E-mail them to me at oldrikweigand@planet.nl and I will try to think of some way to escape!
All new escapes will be included in this fanfic. Thank You for All of Your Help!