Princess Mononoke Fan Fiction ❯ Personal ❯ Belonging ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimer: But I've never even been to Belize... Whoops, wrong movie. Once more, for old time's sake, Mononoke Hime ain't mine.

A/N: Lol... Yes, me and my obscure movie referances, sweatdrop. The worst part is that even people who actually know what movie I'm talking about probably won't get it, because it's sort of been warped into a strange inside joke over the years... Ah, the insanity. So, yes, the last chapter at last, pun possibly intended. I wonder if I'll write any more Mononoke Hime fics, or if this'll be a one-time sort of thing? Some stories are just so perfect the way they are that there's only one or two statements I want to make about them :) Perhaps there will be an Ashitaka/San fic at some point, however. I can't help it; I'm generally incapable of writing anything but romance, at least when it comes to fanfiction. But anyway, I hope you enjoy the ending :)

Chapter Seven: Belonging

Ashitaka lay in bed, but he did not sleep.

It had been an amazing night, that was for sure. And... an amazing kiss. It had tasted like the sweets she'd bought earlier. The only other time he'd been anything like kissed had been with San, when he was too sick to feed himself, and that of course had tasted like meat.


This was really not the time to think about San. She should be as if dead to him. It was the best way. After all, he liked Lady Eboshi, didn't he? It had been fun, dancing with her and spending the festival with her. He enjoyed practicing and having lunch with her every day, didn't he? And he'd known for some time that she probably had some kind of feelings for him, after all; if he really hadn't been interested then he should have stopped spending time with her. She was certainly intriguing.

It was like an unpleasent little whisper in his ear. If he couldn't have San, she'd make a wonderful replacement...

He grimaced. This was wrong. It would never work if he had to convince himself that he had feelings for her...

And then there really was an unpleasent little whisper. "I can't believe this!"

He sat up so fast that he felt lightheaded. "What - San?"

She stepped into a square of lamplight, glaring. There was a certain terrifying, ferral look to that glare. "Of course, idiot. I can't believe you!"

"W-Why are you here?" he stammered, trying hard to dissintangle himself from his bedsheets.

"I, well, I came to see you of course! I wanted to ask you if you... still wanted to come live with me..." The glared had died down a little, but she rallied quickly, shaking with rage. "But obviously you don't! I can't believe you went and fell in love with that hag! I should kill you!" Suddenly she lunged at him, but he rolled with it and wound up pinning her.

"San, calm down," he said, while she thrashed about and tried to bite his hands. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about!" she snarled. "You love that Eboshi woman. I saw you kiss her!"

He laughed, so that she stopped struggling for a moment out of surprise. "You always see the wrong things when you come here, don't you? No, San, I don't love her." He smiled. It was totally obvious, totally right. "I care about her, but not the way I care about you."

She flushed. "Who ever said I wanted you to care about me? I h-" At which point he kissed her, very gently.

"Please, San..." he whispered in her ear one they had pulled apart. "I love you more than anyone else. Can you stop hating humans long enough to tell me you love me?"

She was red as a beet, she knew. "...Get off me." He obeyed. "If you don't like her, then why did you kiss her?"

"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me." He winced; it was a terrible excuse. Except that it was true.

"And spend the festival with her? And dance with her?" San demanded. "Did she make you do all that too?"

"No," he admitted. "I did that. And I enjoyed it, too." She wrinkled her nose in disgust, but he just smiled. "I was trying to forget about you, because I thought that was what you wanted. I was trying so hard. But I was thinking just now that if I was going to spend my life with Lady Eboshi, she'd only be a replacement for you. She'd a lovely lady; I wouldn't want to have to do that to her."

"Sure," she said scornfully, turning away. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind too much. I'm sure she could make you forget all about me soon enough."

"No!" He grabbed her hand; she looked at it like it was an unexpected spider. "I could never forget about you, San."

She stared at the hand a moment longer. She was coloring again, ug. "Yes, well, I hate to dissapoint you," she heard herself say, "but I could forget about you quite easily."

"Of course you couldn't," he said, beaming. "You wouldn't be here if you could have forgotten about me."

"Yes, but this is the last straw-"

"And if you could forget about me so easily, you would have left right away after seeing Eboshi kiss me," he said, chuckling, "instead of having to come and tell me how mad it made you."

She wrenched her hand away, glaring. "Don't laugh at me!"

He stared at her. She was blushing again. He was having trouble getting his mind around this concept. "I'm sorry, but... knk..." He clasped a hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to control himself.

She pounced, causing him to land back in bed with a startled 'oof'. And then she became aware of certain issues of proximity, and wondered what exactly they were fighting about. She still wasn't one hundred per cent sure if she could trust him, but she was begining to think that maybe she should give it a try and see if it worked... And then they kissed, and they did so for a very long time.

Xooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooX

And then, again, it was day.

In the early morning they ate breakfast together (yes, she spent the night, but nevertheless you ought to get your mind outta the gutter), and then Ashitaka gathered his belongings and fed Yakkul . And then there was only one more thing to do. San didn't approve, he could tell, but it was something he absolutly had to do.

He found her in her office, dilligently attempting to make sense of some accounts. She looked up, startled, when he came in, followed by Gonza's protests. "Ashitaka? H-" She took a long look at his face, and smiled wryly. "Hello. Shut the door behind you, please." He did, blocking an irrate Gonza from view, and when she indicated for him to take a seat, he did. They were silent for a moment.

He was the first to speak. "I'm really sorry, Lady Eboshi," he said gently, "but I'm leaving Iron Town. With San."

Her eyes widened. "You found her again?"

He shrugged. "She came to me."

She stood up abrutly, and went to the window. It was another few moments before she spoke. "You know, I've hated her enough to kill her twice now. The first time was when she was trying to kill me... and the other time is now." She turned around again, with a hopeless little smile. "But I guess I have to let her live, don't I? For your sake. You won't reconsider?"

He shook his head. "I care about you a great deal, but I love her. No. I'm sorry."

She laughed lightly. "No, I suppose not. I supposed I was expecting this from the beginning, really. It was all a dream, wasn't it? Make-believe?"

"No, not a dream. Just not meant to be." He stood. "I'm meant to be with San, and you are meant to be with someone too. Someone more deserving than me, maybe." And he smiled. "Good-bye."

She watched him go.

And then she declaired that she was not to be disturbed, shut the door, and cried a little. But life does go on, after all. After a while she got up and opened the shutters again. The ships still came into port, unmercilessly. But that wasn't so bad, really, because it reminded her that she had something to do. She had responsiblilities. Come to think about it, she had been slacking off a lot lately. Would she miss him? Always. But maybe, eventually, only a little. And she wouldn't be sad, because Ashitaka was wrong about one thing. It had been make-believe, from the very beginning, and she'd known that it would never be real in the end. It truely had been a dream, and a beautiful one that she'd always remember, but now it was time to wake up. And if it got to be too much then maybe she could get on one of those ships, and see the world. Maybe she could go pay Ashitaka a visit. She smiled faintly. Yes, she would go find him someday, and make San jealious with her gorgious new husband, and laugh about old times. Reality was going to be much better than this dream, she would make sure of that. She turned around, and got back to work on her reports.

Xoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooX

A/N: See, I told you you didn't want to read it. T.T Was that sad? I thought so. But not too much at the same time, ne? I guess you're probably thinking that that was the most strange, pointless thing, and why on earth did I write it? Think carefully, please. And then... review! Cheerio, all ;)