Princess Mononoke Fan Fiction ❯ Vacancy ❯ Ashitaka ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter I: Ashitaka

Ashitaka had heard the wolves before. He had heard them every night as he had lain within the cold, hard walls of Irontown, waiting without sleeping for the night to end. He hadn't slept since he had come out of the forest, if a forest it could even be called anymore, filled with cruel stumps and fearsome creatures. Of course even before the spirit had gone there had been stumps and creatures, but these were different. Even the townspeople could feel the change as the land outside their outpost became more jagged, more harsh, more wild. But to Ashitaka, who lives with the land instead of off of it, like the people of the city, the change could be felt within him. He didn't only feel the shadows lengthen and the mysterious beauty of the forest fade, but he knew it. He saw it in his mind and cried out with pain as each fern wilted and was seen to throw an arm over his face as if in fear of some unseen monster. For these reasons he wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep, knew he shouldn't sleep lest need arise. And for these reasons he waited.
Tonight had come, he knew by the howling of the wolves that echoed throughout the hills. He heard San's voice among them, straining to hide her human chords but unable to mask herself completely. Hearing them thus and feeling what they had to say he knew that his long sleepless wait had ended and suddenly, all at once, the pain of suffering hit him so badly that he reeled. Once, twice, three times and then... nothing. Ashitaka had fallen asleep and his wait had ended.
Ashitaka, no longer prince of his people but prince of himself had been waiting for the moment he could fall asleep for exactly 4 days 2 hours and 35 minutes before he finally collapsed, relived of the pain of the wild. He had come to Irontown after leaving San alone. After the great spirit had fallen, after the last great animals had died, after... he couldn't think about "after" anymore, it just added to what was weighing on his mind, pulling down his whole body and probably his whole life with it. As soon as he had come to Irontown 4 days, 2 hours, and 35 minutes ago, he had felt the wall. The spirit was leaving him just as it was leaving the forest and the wall seemed to cut off his mind from the outside world he had always known. The thoughts of the grass and trees were no longer known to him as they had been for his entire life, and at first he blamed it solely on the wall. But soon he realized that although the wall physically cut him off, it was the absence of the spirit, the giver of all life, that was destroying his thoughts. The Great Spirit had been something every living thing had in common, they all felt him, all had been created by him and now... now he was gone. The greed and lust which had killed the spirit had killed with it the connection between humans and animals, the plants and the sky, the stars and the water. The world was changing and Ashitaka knew he had to wait until the end of the change lest he miss anything.
The wolves and San had let out their last mournful cry, Ashitaka had fallen asleep, the spirit lay dead over the forest and the whole world held it's breath as it slept. The earth and spirits had changed while their eyes had lain closed and when they awoke, they found everything different. The gradual change of four days had gone unnoticed until it was complete. Ashitaka had noticed of course, and so had San, and it had been causing them both much pain. Morro would have noticed and Boar would have noticed, but they were both dead and now the world had changed and there was no one to lead it except two young adults who at this point felt very alone.
The first thing Ashitaka noticed when he woke was an emptiness. Something not only within him was missing, but around him, the air he breathed felt like it was lacking something. Then he heard the rooster crow as dawn broke and he knew what. The rooster had crowed. Not called, not spoken, not understood as it had before. Ashitaka jumped up, his eyes wide and his muscles tense. He knew something was changing but not... not... he wasn't prepared for this. Never could he have guessed what the Great Spirit had done for them all: enabling all living things to talk to each other. They were all kin, the Great Spirit had created them all equally, but the connection was gone and they were now all wild beasts. Even the human seemed wild to Ashitaka, moving without thinking and doing without knowing as they always had. His whole life he had known and spoken with animals, taken it for granted, he saw now, although he couldn't imagine it anyway else. Right now... right now he couldn't think, his hands tensed and untensed as he paced the floor of hut, wall to wall, wall to wall. Think, think, step, step, he paced like a caged animal. But right now he couldn't think. To many thoughts were crying for attention at once, "What was going on?" "Would this last?" "What can I know?" "Why? Why? Why? WHY?". They all so desperately needed to be addressed that he felt overwhelmed and started screaming, trying to let them out into the air. With that release came another and he ran from the hut, out into the day, screaming and running as fast as he could towards no where. A single image skillfully glided above all he others and as he reached the giant gate of Irontown and beat it with his fists, the though of Princess Mononoke pricked him. "San!" He screamed, since he could only scream, not think anymore. San would know what to do. She would know... she would know, if only he could see her, get to her, oh San! He forgot in the midst of his troubles that he had promised himself not to go back to the forest, not to see San again. He loved her, yes, he loved her, but they were different. It would be better not to let himself love than to allow himself to be with her. But now he had to see her.
Ashitaka flung himself against the gate in a blind confusion until finally it cracked and he ran into the morning. "San!" he called, "San!" He ran towards the ruined forest and spotted her loping as fluidly as a wolf towards him. She was beautiful as the lines between human and animal melded in the rising sun for a moment, half-wolf, half-girl and then they were so close that all Ashitaka could see was the glint in her eyes and the worried expression that mirrored his own. They came within a step of each other and stopped close. They breathed heavily with weariness and pain and relief for a long and never ending second until Ashitaka breathed, "San." San barked fiercely in return and the world came back into focus for the both of them. Ashitaka's shoulder's bent and his world stopped for a mere moment with disbelief and unwanted knowledge. "San..." He cried and she barked again. The stared at each other for one final time and he sank to his knees. San turned and ran as if spooked back to the forest and a tear came softly into Ashitaka's eye. San had become a wolf.