Princess Tutu Fan Fiction ❯ Princess Tutu: the Diamond in the Rough ❯ Music: Funeral March of the Marionettes/Bach Unaccompanied Cello Suites, Suite 1, 1st Movement ( Chapter 8 )
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Music: Funeral March of the Marionettes/Bach—Unaccompanied Cello Suite 1, Movement One
A week had passed, and Lillie was a bit disappointed that she did not have the chance to console Mausi. She figured that she would be suspended for a time, and she could do all she could to console her. However, Lillie's idea of consoling was telling the consoled that life was hopeless, and they needed to embrace it—not much consolation there! However, she looked for every opportunity to do this kind of thing. Her latest chance came during an academic class. A notable student, who always scored well in his grades, had the odd thing happen to him, in that, he completely forgot to bring a completed assignment to class. He was permitted to retrieve the assignment, but would still be docked points for having it late. He did not figure that it was such a bad thing, because he knew that he could make up for it in other ways, and he knew no one was perfect. However, to Lillie's odd sense of thinking, it was the start of a downward spiral into oblivion, and she needed to comfort the poor lad. Yet, when she approached the boy, the boy looked at her oddly. “What are you going on about?” he asked, “I just got a slightly lower grade than normal. It's no big deal. I'll just be more careful next time.”
“Oh, such bravery in adversity,” she said, gushing over the whole thing, “Willing to go on despite the inevitable trail of disaster. It's so adorable!”
“For the ninth time,” he snapped, “There is no disaster! I'm fine!” and he stomped off.
“How rude,” she said, “How could he be so willing to throw away such a fine moment as this?”
Pique and Ahiru, observing the whole thing, came over to get her away from there before any real problems started.”
“After all these years,” said Pique, “I would have thought that you'd outgrow this…thing.”
“It's just not healthy to think like that,” said Ahiru.
“How can it not be healthy to care about people?” protested Lillie.
“That's not what I mean at all,” said Ahiru, “I mean, you are always so fatalistic.”
“You lie!” said Lillie.
“Hey, easy,” said Pique, “Don't forget who you are talking to here!”
“It's okay,” said Ahiru, “While we are in class, I'm just like the rest of you. I have to pass the same courses, stay in the same dorm; I get no privileges, so it's okay.”
“Are you saying that I shouldn't care?” asked Lillie, now genuinely concerned.
“Not at all,” said Ahiru, “it's just, well, you shouldn't hope things go wrong, just so you can console people.”
“But if things don't go wrong,” said Lillie, now sounding a little sad, “how can I console people.”
“You think weird,” said Pique, “but you do care…I guess…and I guess that's why we love you so much.”
Lillie hung her head, sad that no one could understand where she was coming from. They all left the class, but there were things afoot.
Heinrich had been watching her, and said to himself, “Hmm…she wants to console people, and she feels that things have to go bad for that. I can work with that.”
He then said, “Drosselmyer, the blonde: I want her.”
“Most certainly, my friend,” said Drosselmyer, and gave him pass to leave. However, Felix said, “Watch yourself. We know this Tutu is lurking about, and you cannot be as careless as Helmut was.”
As he acknowledged this, he made his way to the academy. By this point, Lillie was in her room, and she had a photo album out. She was looking at some old pictures, and she was looking at her grandmother. She was remembering all kinds of good times when she was younger. Then she remembered when she left this world. Before, grandmother was always there when she needed a shoulder, she scraped her knee, had a bad dream at her grandmother's house, and other things. Grandmother was always there. Now she was gone. As she pondered this, a presence entered the room. She felt like someone was watching her, but she did not know what or how. She said, “I must be able to console people.”
A voice spoke to her, very seductively. It was empowered as such that she spoke to it, not questioning why she was hearing a strange male voice out of nowhere. “That is always a noble thing,” he said.
“But not enough happens,” she said, “How can I console people this way?”
“Why are you just waiting?” the man asked, “You won't get chances that way.”
“What do I do,” she asked, now falling under his spell.
“Give me place in your heart, and I will tell you what to do,” it said.
“What shall you do?” she said, now trapped by his seductive power.
“I shall help you get as many people to console as possible,”
“You can do this?” she said.
“Give me place,” he answered.
Now staring at the wall blankly, she said, “I am yours.'
With that, he entered her heart, and there was a change. She smiled an almost evil grin. When that happened, her photo album fell to the floor, and got kicked under her bed.
At supper, the gang met, talking about events. Freya said, “It was incredible! Mausi was getting ready to do something horrific, and Princess Tutu came out of nowhere and saved the day.”
Rue, Siegfried, and Fakir all froze and stared at Ahiru. Siegfried smiled, and said, “That is wonderful! How did you do it, Duck?”
“It wasn't me,” she said, “I just did what Adelheid said to do, and then it happened.”
“Was this what you hoped for?” asked Fakir.
“All I did was just ask to become someone that could help resolve the issue,” said Ahiru, “I guess Tutu was on my heart.”
“I didn't think that was possible,” said Rue, “I mean, the old story was over, and she was a part of that. None of us are quite what we were. I mean, Siegfried is still Siegfried, but he was that before the story, and he was merely restored.”
“In this world of fantasy that Drosselmyer created,” said Fakir, “anything is possible.”
“There something else to consider,” said Siegfried, “Since this is a Drosselmyer story we are trying to close out, and because nothing happened the way that he intended, we have essentially allowed for her return. Besides all that, since you sealed away the tale until this is resolved, we are writing part of the story, in a sense. We know what is going on, and therefore, we can introduce whatever we need.”
“Wait a minute,” said Joe, “You said `partially writing,' what do you mean by that?”
“I think he means that Drosselmyer has his hand as well with the warlocks,” said Freya.
“In other words,” said Joe, “because we were given the freedom to choose how this thing goes, we also have to extend it to Drosselmyer in order to have it.”
“That's about the size of it,” said Fakir.
“It's actually better this way,” said Ahiru.
“I have to concur,” said Rue, “It is better to confront him on even ground, rather than let him call all the shots, like last time.”
“There is something else to consider,” said Siegfried, “How did you bring Mausi around?”
“Well, I touched her with the diamond shard,” said Ahiru, “which had converted itself into an amulet like the one before, except this one was crystal clear.”
“He must not have been expecting it,” said Joe, “just like he wasn't expecting me to bite her hand and delay things.”
“Then that means the others, if they seek to act, are going to be more careful,” said Fakir, “So be ready for evasive tactics.”
“You sound like this is all up to me,” said Ahiru.
“You are the only one that can be Tutu,” said Rue, “and you have the shard. However, we all can be your eyes and ears. Thus, you have to be ready to act whenever it is time.”
Ahiru looked down, but not in a depressed way. She was more lost in thought than anything else. She then said, “Then, you realize, for the first time in my life, I hold my own fate in my hand. It feels strange.”
“I don't follow,” said Freya.
“In the past,” she said, “because of the way the old story went, the only thing that I was certain of was my own feelings. Those were things that Drosselmyer could not control. Now, the only thing I could not control was becoming a girl again. Yet, I now can call my own shots. I guess I never knew what it was like to have all this freedom of choice until now.”
“You had it as a duck,” said Fakir, confused.
“Yes, and no,” she answered, “I mean, I did, and you never kept me captive. Yet, what kind of a life did I have as an intelligent duck outside of being with you, Fakir? There are other things that…” and she stopped herself short, knowing what she was about to say, yet she was not sure that it was time to say anything at all. She knew it would come later, but not now. She then said, “There are other things. I guess the bottom line is, for the first time, if I had wanted to be Tutu again, it was because I wanted to, not because I had to, or because it was forced on me. That feels good!”
“Good,” said Siegfried, “Then we must keep our vigil. There is no telling when they will strike next. If one of them was defeated, we have to assume that he wound up in the diamond. That leaves four, not counting Drosselmyer. Thus, they will be cleverer. They may even try to hide in plain sight, so be ready for anything.”
“Um…could you be just a bit vaguer, your highness?” asked Joe, sarcastically.
Later on that evening, one of the girls learning point put her shoes outside to dry. It had been a hard class that day, and she wanted to air them out. Lillie saw them, and began to ponder…
The next day, she went outside to retrieve her shoes, and they were not there. She knew the school had issued them, and she had no money until the next day to replace them. Thus, she knew she was going to be in trouble. She asked others her size if they had a spare pair, but none did. She then had to suck it up, and go to class, risking a bad grade for the day. None of this escaped the gaze of Lillie. When they went to class, Frau Von Trapp was quite angry. “I cannot believe that you would be so careless,” she said, “Now, just how are you going to participate? You know how much a new pair will cost.”
“But, I won't have the money for that until tomorrow,” she said, beginning to tear up.
“I'm sorry, dear,” said Von Trapp, “but you are just going to have to watch today. Of course, that means you will get a D- today.”
“No!” she begged, “I've been doing well all semester so far.”
“I'm sorry, but you know the rules: no participation, no good grade,” said Von Trapp, “I am disappointed in you. You are a better student than this.”
She went over to the chairs at the side of the room, and tried to keep her weeping quiet so that she did not interrupt the class, and get into further trouble. As they did practice, however, Ahiru felt much empathy for her, because she knew what that felt like. However, Lillie watched with relish and keen interest. She knew that she could now console the poor dear. She could not wait for the end of class. Even though the toe shoes sat at the bottom of the river, and she knew why, it did not matter, just as long as she got to do what she loved. After the class, Lillie came up and tried to console her in her odd way, but all it did was make matters worse. Lillie could not understand what was going on, and it only made her angry.
Later on, at lunch, Lillie spied a student go to fetch something, and saw that he had left his book bag. She went up, and realized that it contained a report that was due next period. When no one was looking, she swiped it, concealed it, and headed for the lavatory. Once inside, she looked around, and tore up the report into little pieces. Later in that class, the teacher called for the reports, and the boy she had stolen it from looked frantically for the report. The teacher looked over his half glasses and said, “Something wrong, Herr Gruber?”
“My report!” he said, “I had it in my book bag. I could have sworn it was in here!”
“Are you saying that you don't have it?” asked the teacher.
“That's not it at all!” he said, “I made sure that I put it in here. I know how important this is.”
“You're right, it is important,” said the teacher, “and it is inexcusable. You know what I said would happen if you failed to turn in an assignment.”
“But sir,” he said, “It's done, and it's on my computer. It would only take me a bit to retrieve it.”
“Then you had better listen, young man!” said the teacher, “You will have a late mark on the paper, but you have 24 hours to turn it in. Fail to do so, and you are expelled, do you hear me, young man?”
He sunk back into his chair, pale as a sheet, and said quietly, “Yes sir.”
Lillie was on cloud 9. She knew that he needed a shoulder to cry on now. After the class, she said, “Oh you poor thing: on the edge of oblivion, nothing but obscurity ahead.”
He looked at her strangely, and said, “What are you talking about?”
“How brave,” she said, “so able to keep it in. It's alright, you can let it out. Its better that way, tell Lillie all about it.”
“Leave me alone!” he exclaimed, “I don't need that. I need that report in tomorrow, or my goose is cooked,” and he walked away, steam pouring out of his ears. Lillie was confused now, and very angry. Heinrich then said, “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You are doing things that can be remedied too quickly,” he said, “You have to be more severe.”
He began to stir within her, and, at first, she resisted what he was now suggesting. However, because of how she had allowed him in, she began to be seduced by his evil scheme, and now began to ponder more severe ways to act.
Later on, as school was ending for the day, Lillie began to head back to the dorm when she tripped over a loose brick on the pavement. She caught herself, and was going to go on. However, she saw some of the other dance students coming, and she had an evil thought. Then she realized how wrong it was, and tried to resist. However, Heinrich said, “Why are you resisting? Set up the brick.”
“Someone would get hurt,” she said, “I don't want to hurt anyone.”
“Don't resist me, host!” he ordered, and began to take more control of her. He then said, “Did they care how you felt when you tried to console them? Make them understand!”
Now, not quite in control, she set up the brick, and moved on, but not so far away as she could not run up and do her thing. Like clockwork, a girl tripped over it and wrenched her ankle. She screamed in pain and began to cry. Lillie came over as if she were just someone who wanted to see what had happened. Within minutes, infirmary personnel were on the scene tending to her. As the assessed things, the doctor said, “Well, it looks like a sprain, but, give it a week, and you'll be dancing again in no time.”
However, Lillie said, “Oh, I'm so sorry! Cut down in the prime of your career!”
“No,” she said through the tears, “Don't say that!”
“It's not all that bad,” said the doctor.
Lillie ignored this, and said, “Its okay, dear, Lillie is here to be a shoulder for you, even though all is lost.”
Instead of making her feel better, she began to cry harder. Everyone began to scowl at her, and then followed up the gurney to the infirmary. She said to herself, “No, it's not supposed to be like this. She's supposed to feel better when someone consoles. What is wrong?”
She began to cry herself, and headed back to the dorm. However, all this was not unobserved. Joe had been sitting in a tree, hoping to see Freya, or surprise Ahiru. At the same time, Uzzura was coming up to find Ducky when she saw it all happen. Joe spotted her, and flew down to her. “Oh!” she said, “It's the talky-birdie-zura.”
“Hey kid,” said Joe, “Did you see what happened?”
“Why did girl put out the rock-zura?” asked Uzzura.
“Yep,” said Joe, “You saw it! We need to find Ahiru.”
“Who-zura?” she said.
“Oh, that's right,” he said, “Help me find the ducky.”
“Oh!” she said in glee, “Ducky-lucky, ducky-lucky,” and continued on in her chant as she played her drum.
Meanwhile, Pique, Rue, and Freya were talking about what had happened. They were saddened by what had happened, but they were also confused at Lillie's odd behavior. Of course, her reasoning was always odd; however, she was beyond what she normally was. They did not know what to think. As if she were an answer, they began to hear the beating of a snare drum, and the chanting of a small child. Uzzura turned the corner, and saw the girls, saying, “Oh, there's the ducky-zura!” and ran up to Ahiru. “What are you on about?” asked Ahiru.
“Girl tripped on the rocky-zura,” said Uzzura.
“Ah…we know that,” said Rue.
“Someone is naughty-zura!” said Uzzura.
“Hold on,” said Freya, “Are you saying someone did that deliberately?”
“Girl tripped on the rock-zura,” said Uzzura, “She made the rock worse-zura.”
Sadly, Pique began to put two and two together, and said, “Wait a minute! The only one who had come from the other way was Lillie.”
Ahiru said, “You're not suggesting…?”
Again, as if an answer, Joe swooped in and landed on Freya's shoulder. “You are not going to believe this!”
“Try me,” said Rue.
“Me and Uzzura saw the whole thing,” he said, “It was Lillie. I don't know what got into her, but she did it.”
“I do,” thought Ahiru. Ahiru said, “We have to find her and talk some sense into her. We have to find out why she did it.”
“I hope so,” said Pique, “I'm going to give that girl a piece of my mind!”
“You four see if you cannot corner her in the dorm,” said Ahiru, “I'll be along shortly.”
Only Pique did not know what that meant, and they swept her along before she could ask any questions. Once she was out of sight, Ahiru changed.
In the dorm, Lillie was heading to her room, when she was met by Pique before she could enter. “What in the name of common sense are you thinking, girl!” she snapped, “We know what you did!”
“What do you mean,” said Lillie, as she began to walk away. However, she took only two steps, turned around, and bumped right into Rue. “You are not going anywhere, young lady!” she snapped, “There is someone that wants to speak to you!”
She tried to turn to run, only to be confronted by Freya and Joe. “Why is everyone going crazy?” asked Lillie, but Joe shot back, “We were going to ask you the same thing.”
“I didn't do anything,” said Lillie.
“A guilty conscience needs no accuser,” said Pique, “We didn't even say what you did.”
Uzzura did not help matters as she began to walk across the group, hitting her drum, and singing, “Naughty girl, naughty girl: we caught the naughty girl!”
“Leave me alone!” she said, and shoved Pique aside as she ran. She did not get far. Everything went black with white outlines. Tutu was standing in the exit. “Lillie, why are you doing this?” she said. Lillie stood in terror. This did not faze Tutu as she gave the invitation to dance. Heinrich knew what that meant, and he was not going to be caught that easily. She looked about, saw a potted plant, grabbed a handful of dirt, and threw it into Tutu's eyes. She winced in pain as Lillie ran by. However, the voice they heard was not hers, as it said, “You won't find me that easy, ballet brat!” and she ran off.
Rue came up and said, “Are you alright, Tutu?”
“I'm fine,” said Tutu, and then turned to the others and said, “My friends, do not be too angry at her: she is not in her right mind.”
“You can say that again!” said Pique.
“It's worse than that,” said Tutu, “I fear now for her life. There is something I think that has been bothering her for some time, and I must find the root of it. Say nothing to anyone about what happened. If all goes well, I will cause her to make things right to the girl without her getting into trouble.”
With that, she pirouetted, and went after Lillie.
Lillie was going out of her mind at this point. She was so angry nothing was going right. Heinrich then began to say, “That's right, no one understands you. Whoever could aside from your grandmother?”
“Grandmamma,” she cried, “I need you! I need you so bad!”
“There is a way to see her,” he said sinisterly, and began to plant thoughts into her head.
“My life is over,” she said, there is no other way.
Blankly, she went up to an ivy ladder that led to the top of the dorm, and started to climb.
“Yes, that's right,” said Heinrich excitedly.
“I'm coming soon, Grandmamma,” she said, and climbed.
She had gotten to the top of the ladder, and then let go, just in time for the ivy to catch her.
“What?” she thought, as she observed a flowery vine ascend next to her. On top of the vine stood Tutu. “That is not the way to fix it, dear Lillie,” she said, “but first, I need to clear your head.”
The ivy then restrained her as Tutu took off the amulet and touched her chest. A male voice thundered, “No, you cannot have defeated me.”
“You have tormented people long enough,” said Tutu, “Back you go.”
The same effect as before occurred, and now Lillie sat cradled in the ivy. It then lowered, and set her in her own room, with Tutu following right behind. Inside were the other girls waiting for her. Once inside, Tutu gave the invitation to dance again, and asked everyone to join her. As they danced, Tutu asked, “Why do you desire people to be sad?”
“I don't want anyone to be sad,” said Lillie, “I want to console them.”
“How is saying that bad shall happen consoling?” asked Tutu.
“But, if bad things don't happen, I cannot console,” answered Lillie, “I have to console people.”
Tutu thought for a moment, and then asked, “Was there ever anyone that consoled you when you were sad?”
As she said this, a few of the vines reached into the room and pulled out the photo album from under the bed where Lillie had kicked it under Heinrich's influence. Tutu took it, and spun towards Lillie with it. “Grandmamma,” said Lillie, “Oh Grandmamma! Why did you leave me? No one ever made me feel loved like you when I was sad,” and she began to cry.
Everyone was staring at this point. Lillie never had spoken of such matters before. Lillie then said, “I always sought to console people because of her, because I knew how good it made me feel.”
“What happened?” asked Tutu.
“When she died, mama tried to console me, but it wasn't the same. I know mama loves me, but it just wasn't the same.”
“Is this why you do what you do?” asked Tutu.
“I thought that, if I could console people as well as her, then I would feel better,” said Lillie, “but it was not enough. Not enough things happen, so I have to hope for it. It's the only way. I just must console people!”
“But dear Lillie,” said Tutu, as they began to dance some more, “Is there not enough misery in the world for you to be a shoulder to cry on? Consoling people means that you help them to hope. Just because they feel better does not mean that they won't need you again. How many others would love such a caring heart like yours? I think that your Grandmother would love it if she knew just how much she inspired you. Please, help people see the good that can come. Tragedy is never fun for the one undergoing it. You may think someone looks adorable, but…”
“They do not,” said Lillie, “I only thought that because I was excited that I could console someone again. I was only thinking of myself, because I want to be consoled, and there is no one.”
Before Tutu could answer, Rue said, “That's not true. You have all of us. Holding in your pain all these years for the loss of your Grandmother is not good.”
That caught Tutu off guard, but she appreciated it nonetheless. Lillie needed to know that there are others that can give her what she needs, and she did not have to feel alone anymore. Freya said, “You know where I like to be, and if you feel sad, you can come and help me with the flowers. It always cheers me up.”
“Hey, what about your best buddy?” said Pique, as she hugged Lillie, “You can always talk to me.”
Uzzura sat silent, amazed by the whole thing. She did understand enough that the blonde girl was sad, but they were trying to make her happy. She then ran up and hugged her, saying, “Sad girl: don't be sad anymore-zura.”
“See,” said Tutu, “Remember this, and always seek to help people see the hope that is in the world, because, it will make you feel even more good when you give hope to others.”
With that, she curtsied, and left. When it was over, she was on her knees, clutching the photo album, crying, and saying, “I'm sorry, Grandmamma—I'll do it right from now on. I'll be a good girl.”
The next day, the young lady who had lost her toe shoes opened the door to find an envelope taped to the door with enough money to pay for new shoes. Lillie knew that she could not fix the torn up report, but she decided to leave some candy with a note in his bag, saying, “Don't worry, you can pass the class. Just always do your best. Later on that day, she went with the other girls to apologize for what had happened, and she was prepared for whatever punishment would befall her. She went in to her room where she was resting, and said, “I want to apologize for your ankle, because it was my fault, you see…”
However, Rue cut in and said, “She had tripped over it herself, and she forgot to say something, right?”
She looked at Lillie knowingly. It was the truth, in a sense, but not entirely the truth. Lillie continued, and said, “Well, you see, I tried to set the brick…”
“…and she did not do it right,” said Freya, as Lillie continued, “You see, I set the brick, and you tripped, so it's my fault.”
She turned to the others, and said, “Please, don't—I have to.”
She then turned back to the girl, and said, “I did it deliberately, but to get anyone, not specifically you. I was wrong. If you told on me, I deserve it.”
The girl said, “But, Lillie, that's not like you. Why?”
She started to cry, and said, “I was stupid! I wanted to console someone so bad, I wasn't thinking right! I was wrong!”
“Yes, you were,” said the girl, “and I don't know what could have come over you.”
“I do,” said Pique, “because she needs help. There are some things in her past that she hasn't gotten over, and she wasn't thinking straight. It has something to do with her family past.”
The girl thought for a minute, and then said, “The doctor said that it was not too bad, and I will be back in a few days. I won't say anything on one condition: if you go to the school counselor and seek help, I won't say anything. You must seek that help, because, if you don't, then I know that you did it with malice, and I shall have no mercy. The fact that you fessed up tells me that you are sorry for what you did, and you want to make it right. If you do that, you are making it right, and you've made it right with me.”
The girl then smiled, and they hugged. Ahiru watched through the crack in the door, knowing that Lillie could now get the help that she truly needed. Now she knew that Lillie would be a bulwark of strength for others, once she learned to gain strength from her own losses. Uzzura whispered, saying, “Lillie is a good girl now-zura?”
“Very much so,” said Ahiru, “very much so.”
She took out the diamond shard, looked at it, and said, “Just three more to go, Princess Adelheid, and we can put this to rest forever. Just hang in there.”
She then thought, and said, “Oh, and thank you for letting me be Tutu again. I won't let you down.”