Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Hilarious Grave ❯ The Nutty Martial Artist ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Patrioil 
The start of the Holy ... I mean, the Hilarious Grave ^^; Air speed velocity and coconuts... can it BE better? XD
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.11.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 741 | Visits: 724 | Status: Work In Progress
The start of the Holy ... I mean, the Hilarious Grave ^^; Air speed velocity and coconuts... can it BE better? XD
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 02.11.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 741 | Visits: 724 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 1. The Nutty Martial Artist
The wind was blowing accross the thick and frosty grass at dawn... only the sound of *clop clop* and *clop clop clop* could be heard over the meadow at the foot of a high castle.
Ranma looked back at Gosunkugi making the clopping sounds. "Whoa there!" he said, and both him and Gosunkugi looked up at the castle wall.
"Halt! Who goes there?" a man at the top demanded.
"It is I, Saotome Ranma, the heir of the Anything-Goes-Martial-Aarts school." he paused briefly. "Men among men, defeator of anyone, the greatest martial artist of all Japan!"
"Pull the other one" the man up on the castle wall said.
"I am... and this is my trusty servant Gosunkugi. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at the Tendou Doujo." Ranma paused again. "I must speak with your lord and master."
"What, ridden a horse?" the man asked somewhat confuzzled.
"Yes!" Ranma exclaimed.
"You're using coconuts!" the man said and pointed at the coconut halves in their hands.
"What?" Ranma said, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"You've got two empty 'alves and you're banging 'em together."
"So?" Ranma said, somewhat confident. "We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the city called Sapporo, through--"
"Where'd you get the coconuts?"
"We found them." Ranma said, a little taken aback.
"Found them? In Sapporo? The coconuts tropical!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is a temperate zone." the man said holding a finger in the air.
"The swallow may fly south with the sun or th house martin or the plover may seek warmer climates in the winter, yet these are no strangers to our land?" Ranma said contented.
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"Not at all." Ranma said, and took one step forwards. "They could be carried."
"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it by the husk!" Ranma said and pulled Gosunkugi's hair.
"It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut." the man said, chuckling and shaking his head.
"Well, it doesn't matter." Ranma said somewhat hasty. "Will you go and tell your master that Saotome Ranma from the court of the Tendou Doujo is here."
"Listen." the man said. "In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?" he looked back at Ranma.
"Please!" Ranma cried.
"AM I right?" the man said and leaned over the wall a little.
"I'm not interested!"
"It could be carried by an African swallow"! another man at the wall said.
"Oh yeah..." the first man said. "An African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow." he folded his arms. "That's my point."
"Oh." the other man said "yeah, I agree with that."
"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at the Tendou Doujo!?"
"But the of course a..." the first man continued. "...African swallow are non-migratory."
"Oh yeah..."
"So they couldn'r bring a coconut back anyway..."
Ranma sighed and patted Gosunkugi on the shoulder to start clopping, and they both turned around to find a better less annoying castle.
"Wait a minute!" the second man exclaimed. "Supposing two swallows carried it together?"
"No, they'd have to have it on a line" the first man said looking somewhat hopeless.
"Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!"
"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"
"Well, why not?"
The wind was blowing accross the thick and frosty grass at dawn... only the sound of *clop clop* and *clop clop clop* could be heard over the meadow at the foot of a high castle.
Ranma looked back at Gosunkugi making the clopping sounds. "Whoa there!" he said, and both him and Gosunkugi looked up at the castle wall.
"Halt! Who goes there?" a man at the top demanded.
"It is I, Saotome Ranma, the heir of the Anything-Goes-Martial-Aarts school." he paused briefly. "Men among men, defeator of anyone, the greatest martial artist of all Japan!"
"Pull the other one" the man up on the castle wall said.
"I am... and this is my trusty servant Gosunkugi. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at the Tendou Doujo." Ranma paused again. "I must speak with your lord and master."
"What, ridden a horse?" the man asked somewhat confuzzled.
"Yes!" Ranma exclaimed.
"You're using coconuts!" the man said and pointed at the coconut halves in their hands.
"What?" Ranma said, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"You've got two empty 'alves and you're banging 'em together."
"So?" Ranma said, somewhat confident. "We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the city called Sapporo, through--"
"Where'd you get the coconuts?"
"We found them." Ranma said, a little taken aback.
"Found them? In Sapporo? The coconuts tropical!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is a temperate zone." the man said holding a finger in the air.
"The swallow may fly south with the sun or th house martin or the plover may seek warmer climates in the winter, yet these are no strangers to our land?" Ranma said contented.
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"Not at all." Ranma said, and took one step forwards. "They could be carried."
"What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it by the husk!" Ranma said and pulled Gosunkugi's hair.
"It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut." the man said, chuckling and shaking his head.
"Well, it doesn't matter." Ranma said somewhat hasty. "Will you go and tell your master that Saotome Ranma from the court of the Tendou Doujo is here."
"Listen." the man said. "In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?" he looked back at Ranma.
"Please!" Ranma cried.
"AM I right?" the man said and leaned over the wall a little.
"I'm not interested!"
"It could be carried by an African swallow"! another man at the wall said.
"Oh yeah..." the first man said. "An African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow." he folded his arms. "That's my point."
"Oh." the other man said "yeah, I agree with that."
"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at the Tendou Doujo!?"
"But the of course a..." the first man continued. "...African swallow are non-migratory."
"Oh yeah..."
"So they couldn'r bring a coconut back anyway..."
Ranma sighed and patted Gosunkugi on the shoulder to start clopping, and they both turned around to find a better less annoying castle.
"Wait a minute!" the second man exclaimed. "Supposing two swallows carried it together?"
"No, they'd have to have it on a line" the first man said looking somewhat hopeless.
"Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!"
"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"
"Well, why not?"